Teach me about Tea

Yes, subject line. Yes, it's on topic.

I've come to realize that Tea, like Wine, is a subculture. What's more, it's one to which I was so blind, I didn't know it existed.

The more I talk about it, however, I hear from "Tea experts" and people that advocate it as more than a drink: It's part of a lifestyle.

Silly me, my tastes are dull. My tea, when I make it, simply tastes like glorified water.

So, here's the question: Tea experts: Can you instruct me on the ways, do's, and don't's of appreciating this apparently miraculous elixer? What do I need to know to start? What teas are "good", which are "bad", and what questions would I be asking if I knew more?

Again, my desire to have Tea comes sincerely and entirely from its constant recurrence in geek culture. As such, I do believe that it is on-topic, if admittedly unusual.

Teach me your secrets, tea man![/center]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrqBe9sWHsk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RA7a...eature=related


There you go.

Most of the time though, I simply turn on my Electric Kettle, put 1-2 teaspoons in a mug, poor in the boiling water, let them bloom for 4 minutes then strain.

::Edit:: BTW, loose leaf is the only way to go. Look online if you can't find any local sellers for loose leaf.

Ah tea...!

Okay, I guess the thing about tea is that it's like a milder form of coffee. Us Brits tend to find coffee quite abrasive and has a tad too much ZING! to it when you want a relaxing drink. Quite often, I want a warm drink that gives me a bit of pep but not so much that it sends me bouncing off of the walls as coffee is want to do. Tea fills that gap quite nicely.

It's also not a drink that is easy to appreciate on the move so it lends itself to sitting down and drinking it, hence why tea breaks are opportunities to take the weight off of your feet and not move for a few minutes. And then there's the dunking...

Some biscuits are made for dunking, some are not. And the quest to find the ultimate dunking biscuit is a long and hard fought quest. For me, it's Custard Creams.

As for making tea, I won't go for the three hour Tea Ritual that's apparently still practiced around the other side of the globe. But here's how I prepare mine:

1) Boil kettle with sufficient water.
2) Place tea bag into empty mug.
3) Fill with boiling water (it MUST be boiling, just hot water makes rubbish tea)
4) Leave for 3 minutes, no less, no more.
5) Remove tea bag and discard.
6) Stir in cold milk.
7) Add sugar to taste.

Some heathens pour the milk in when the tea bag is still in the cup but this ruins the flavour of the tea as the material of the tea bag absorbs the fat from the milk.

Sheesh, that was a longer post than I anticipated. Still, enjoy, it's an acquired taste.


Oh, one last point, I have no idea what brands are available in the States, so I can't advise on them really. I drink Yorkshire brand tea but I don't know if it's available over there. Sometimes the water in your area can affect the flavour so you might need to get one that's formulated for hard water.

You know, I was gonna go ahead and rant about stuck-up yuppies who act as though they can tell the difference between such things as tea or coffee, and then condemn pretty much everyone like that, but while those people do exist and are terrible, I'm being unfair to the subject of their pretentious fawning. So, be warned, this will deal with pretty much all types of coinesseurness.

Different varieties of tea (and coffee, and wine, and cheese, and bread...) have subtle (or not-so subtle, in the case of everything that isn't tea or coffee) differences in their flavor and aroma. The best way to tell is to try two greatly different types. While I assert that 90% of the "differences" between types of coffee are entirely fictitious (though Turkish coffee certainly shows its distinct character by having the consistency of mud), it's very easy to tell the difference between Earl Grey and Green Tea. This is generally due to the composition of the soil, the way the leaves are treated, and other minor environmental factors. The same goes for most wine, the grapes are grown under different conditions and thus possess a different flavor and smell (or "bouquet" for wine experts). That's absolutely every vineyard's wines are different, even if they're going for the same type of wine (like Merlot).

Cheese and bread are judged a bit differently, because the basic ingredients often change, and their texture is also up for comparison (although I guess it might go for coffee, too, if the Turkish Sludge is any indication...). See, not all bread is made from wheat, nor does all cheese come from cows. Additionally, the amount and length of pasteurization, the things the milk-givers are fed, and other factors can affect cheese. Bread is mainly changed by the grains used in it, the time and exact method of baking, and of course, the ratio of secondary ingredients (leavening agents, milk, other types of grain, etc.). And you really taste the difference with bread and cheese (I like the somewhat-sweet potato bread with my tuna fish sandwiches, for instance).

Anyway, bottom line? These "lifestyles" crop up because people feel smart, discerning, and cultured when they can detect the subtle differences from one variety of a thing to the next, but the guy next to them can't. Whether they're actually smart, discerning, or cultured is, like everything else, dependant on the person.

must...
not...
make...
teabagging....
joke....

Find a local store that specializes in loose teas. We got them everywhere over here, including most shopping malls. No ideas about the US though.

Buy either of the following: Either a reusable teabag made from metal mesh, a tea infuser, or if you're lazy like me get a box of single use bamboo paper teabags.

For one, the people in the store can probably guide you as to what kind and grade of tea you'd enjoy and are able to afford. My experiences are mostly with black teas and fruit and herbal teas, which technically aren't teas when they don't contain tea leaves. But there's all kinds of mostly Asian variants such as green and white teas you could experiment around with, of course.

You'll want to avoid teabags from the supermarket at any cost as those contain 90% crap you need to boil forever to get any taste out of, and when you do that you'll also get a truckload of tannins which will make your tea taste bitter.

Get some good tea with a taste you think you'll enjoy. If you're unsure, get straight black tea, or one with a light flavour such as vanilla. Go home, make your tea -4 minutes is a rough estimate for a single cup of black tea; the teabag should not be in the water for longer at any rate- and then slurp it as if you were at a fancy wine tasting. You need to, essentially, vaporize the tea and mix it with oxygen to get the rull reception from both your tongue as well as your olfactory system. Exhale through your nose.

If you're not noticing any difference from teas you've had before, throw everything away and don't think back on it anymore. If not, you should know all you need to know to find the rest out on your own.

If tea isn't sweet, cold and served in a glass of ice, then you are doing it wrong.

Oxalates are evil.

good luck D.B.B.

I like Turkish-style apple tea. It seems like it's more of a cider-type than a normal tea, but my word, it is delicious. A bit heavy on the sugar, but otherwise quite good. You can get it dried as a powder that you stir into hot/boiling water. It makes a nice little fizzy/frothiness in the water. It's typically served in these little ~3-4" tall cups.

I also like red tea over green or black. Yes, I know red is black tea that's been oxidized, but I like the flavor better.

I can't talk about the finer points, ins and outs, specialist knowledge of Tea. All I can talk about is the fine English institution that is a cup of tea.

Be it a fine Earl Grey, or a simple cuppa made of a PG Tips teabag, there;s nothing more quintessentially English as sitting down at some point in the day to relax with a cup of tea.

I dunno about other cultures, other countries, where tea originated, how it got here, whatever. All I know is......I like a good cuppa!

I don't know why, it just is. My Nanna always swore by a cup of tea at all times of the day. My good lady wife, Rosie, on her radio sets even says on her forum "I'll bring the tea, you bring the biscuits." Like I say....it just is

Coffee, I love a coffe, don't get me wrong, but a cup of tea is a very English thing to do.

And I suspect that's where the games get it from. If you want to suggest something that appeals to all classes of English people, it's a cup of tea. Be you a lower-classes factory worker at the end of a hard days graft, or a upper-class Lord sitting in your mansion, you have a cup of tea. Be it in a fine china cup or a cheap mug from Woolies, you have a cup of tea.

And by the gods, it's always refreshing

Oh, and for the record, PG Tips, nectar of the gods

*Ducks and covers*

I'll admit, my advice was based on your common or garden, average cuppa tea that your average Brit would probably make if you asked for one. When it comes to the more refined tastes, I'm pretty much a knuckle-dragging barbarian. So if you're into trying out green teas and herbal teas and all the other exotic types out there, I'd listen to the experts rather than me.

I certainly have the problem of warm water rather than boiling at my workplace too. And they won't let us have a kettle either! Grrrr...!

And on a side note, Turkish coffee is... an experience. I don't think I've ever had that much caffeine shot through my system in one go before.