200K actually. Gives a lot more room than it seems. However, you might have space concerns due to the custom hybrids. In the end it's up to you.
Anyway, I did fix the stuff you pointed out for sure. The accent, well, he's supposed to be a homage to a famous Nazi doctor that did some primitive genetic experiments back in World War 2 and beyond when he fled to South America. You get the idea right? >.> recent "immigrant" so to speak.
@MrsAlphaOne
Member of the [url="http://www.guildportal.com/Guild.aspx?GuildID=171543&TabID=1451954"]RIMC[/url]
[url="http://www.freewebs.com/mrsalphaone"]DA![/url]
[color=red]Official Beer Wench of PWNZ[/color] Arc 452196 When Madness Reigns over Reason. Play it and PM me your constructive criticism on what I can tweak before Oct 20th. <3 U all
Okay, I did your Rider's Ribs Restaurant Rescue. Well made, I liked the storyline, the custom enemy's were good, and I liked that every enemy had a description.
But I had to knock it down a point because it kept making me hungry. And trying to finish an arc while your hungry is annoying.
Zamuel,
The arc for the challenge has moved to the testing phase, so if you get a chance to check it out, that would be great. Arc ID: 457506
WN
Check out one of my most recent arcs:
457506 - A Very Special Episode - An abandoned TV, a missing kid's TV show host and more
416951 - The Ms. Manners Task Force - More wacky villains, Wannabes. things in poor taste
or one of my other arcs including two 2010 Player's Choice Winners and an2009 Official AE Awards Nominee for Best Original Story
I took my arc down for the moment as I'm revamping it based on some feedback.
Quote:
I think a new thing I'll be doing is making note of what I played the arc with since it does affect how I go through the arc. Honestly, I should have done so before. This was played with my lvl 50 Claws/Willpower Stalker.|
Originally Posted by Wrong_Number
Zamuel,
The arc for the challenge has moved to the testing phase, so if you get a chance to check it out, that would be great. Arc ID: 457506 WN |
Overview
Interesting use of a Television styled contact. My frame of reference is different since I haven't done its canon arcs but know its style of "speech". Overall the arc flowed well.
I'm kicking myself right now since there was an enemy I have a comment on but while I copied the bio, I neglected to copy the name. It's one of the Injustice Legion flunkies. The bio is: "These robots were made for the Injustice Legion by the notorious mastermind Four Eyes using stolen Crey and Nemesis technology."
My problem is not with the bio, it's with the visual design. I really didn't see where much of a Nemesis inspiration would come from with this enemy. You may be able to fix it with something as simple as a color change. Instead of the black and neutral yellow you have now, I think changing the yellow to a gold tone or something with a splash more orange may work better. I can especially see this due to the type of shield and mace you're using for it. However, this is more or less nitpicking that can be ignored.
In the last mission the ally wasn't guarded. In theory it's not a bad thing and he did wind up being helpful but I tend to try to see what I can do without them with a Stalker due to the extra aggro that allies tend to draw.
There's a few things that seem like in jokes that I'm mildly wary about but it's probably not a real issue.
Spelling/Grammar
Mission 1 outro
"We got the footage; weve got the interviews, the local reactions and more! Tune in tonight for this and other PT entertainment news."
I believe all of this needs to be capitalized.
Mission 3 Intro
Footage of Bright Angel flying towards a bad part of town follows..
Unsure if you're simply ending the sentence (needs a single period) or if you're using an ellipsis (three periods, "..."). I'm assuming the latter.
Mission 3 objectives
Search for Clues, Bright Angel, Free Blappy!
Bright Angel needs some sort of descriptor such as "Find Bright Angel"
Zamuel.
Thanks very much for the great feedback.
Interesting comment on the Injudicators and something I have not thought of before. Definitively taking that suggestion.
The Ally in the last mission was not guarded on purpose and his unaware text should make it clear why (he just arrived himself).
The only in jokes are the inserts of Gypsy Rose and PW. There is a mention of a Fred and that could be anyone. I was actually really happy with those and think they fit well.
Thanks for catching the spell/typos. I will nail them down asap.
WN
Check out one of my most recent arcs:
457506 - A Very Special Episode - An abandoned TV, a missing kid's TV show host and more
416951 - The Ms. Manners Task Force - More wacky villains, Wannabes. things in poor taste
or one of my other arcs including two 2010 Player's Choice Winners and an2009 Official AE Awards Nominee for Best Original Story
There's a high likelihood I'll be on hiatus after this month so I'm going to cut off new submissions here for now. However, I know I still owe Red Valkyrja and BenRGamer plays.
Reopening for the next three people needing help. Same rules as listed in the first post including the exemption for Victory server regulars and the exclusion of the (still...) not updated Illpracticed Malpractice.
I'm going to handle Beastangel's Catalyst X Cometh #491298 a little different than most that I've done. While I have the typo information in Notepad and will probably still go over it in a future post, I'm going to concentrate on the overall story structure and enemies. I think there's a sizable amount of "I see what you're going for but..." to everything.
Enemy Design
You've got a number of enemies with similar color schemes. While this helps to make them seem like a unified group, they tend to blend together so it's harder to tell them apart. What I suggest is to add a 3rd trim color and there's even multiple options for that too. You can either add the color based on rank (white on minions, blue on LTs, etc) or simply add a color for each individual enemy.
Some of your enemies seem a little too strong though that depends on if you want this to be a challenge or not. Some of what I'm saying may be ignorable if you intend it to be a challenge.
The status protection and decent damage on Hollow Soul Elite is fine on its own but she really shouldn't have a Tier 9 defensive power. What makes this different than Paragon Protectors using Moment of Glory is that I think you were using Elude. Elude's move speed buffs in addition to the Elite's ability to fly prevents you from using things like Caltrops that you could have otherwise slowed down a MoG user.
The strength of the end of mission bosses is a little uneven since you start with an EB/AV then down to a Boss/EB then back up to EB/AV. Might not be a major issue but just feels a little off.
Brimstone has both Blazing Bolt and Volcanic Gas. Blazing Bolt does an incredible amount of damage and is not interruptible on AE enemies. Volcanic Gas actually scares me slightly more since it has the potential to stack itself to roughly a +12 mag hold which can actually overcome some melee characters. However, it's a locational summon so in a lot of other ways it may not be that bad since it forces the player to move around instead of standing in just one spot.
One final issue that may be really difficult to adjust is "sameness". While you have different bosses and maps (more on maps later), you fight the same enemy group throughout the arc. It's good to mix things up but with your arc's story there may not be a good way to add a different enemy group that still fits.
Story and Mission Structure
While heroes do right because they are the forces of good, in some ways the arc lacks a personal connection. Perhaps having an optional rescue in the first mission can help in the feeling of the enemies threatening innocent people. I think this goes double for the fact that Void Wolf does a lot of "I'll stay behind to protect people" type of comments. Also, Void Wolf himself lacks a bio. A little surprising since while a few typos may need cleaning on some of the enemies, everything else has a bio.
You have a lot of simplistic objective names like "Lord Glaudo" as opposed to "Defeat Lord Glaudo" that are more descriptive. Also, an increase in clues would help. Don't overdo it but a few will add to the story.
Mission 2 doesn't really need to be a defeat all. In fact, I think it may even go against the idea of the mission. Catalyst X has magic crystals and you are stealing them before he receives the shipment in order to thwart his plans. Attacking the crew would alert them to what you're up to. You could leave Brimstone in as an optional or even required objective since while you may not want them to know you're there, taking out a major general would be good. Also, you may want to change the name so that the name simply calls them crystals while the bio or clue reveals that they're from the netherworld.
You do a good job of keeping your arc fresh by keeping the maps varied and I like that you used the mausoleum cave for one. However, I question the choice of a CoT cave for mission 3. Either you should add more descriptive information about James infiltrating one of the enemy's caves or you could use one of the offices that transition to a cave to imply that he was attacked in his home or office. Also, you may want to mention James in the first mission so that mission 3 has more weight.
Thank you for pointing out the flaws. I have actually been workin on them since I read the critique im hoping most of them are fixed but just in case could look over it again to see if I missed anything else if so it will probably need a little more work. I dont want it to win awards I just want it to be a good story. Sorta like practice for the books I'm gonna try to write.
I'd like to toss my latest arc, When The Words Stop, at you for some polishing, but I'm not sure which of yours would be the best fit for matching the style of my story. You can find mine described here.
With When The Words Stop #494099 I think this is a situation where I have to be man enough admit that I don't think I'm smart enough to truly get all the metaphors in this arc. I got it in broad strokes but overall I felt quite lost.
Didn't see any outright typos except one odd quirk that might have been due to this recent AE bug. King of All Monsters is listed as being in the All Custom Characters faction. Should be moved to something else if possible.
There's several points in the arc where you mention where Emily put smiley faces and such in the notebook. Rather than doing that with words, you could use the text editing options to actually make smilies and frowns. Purely my opinion but I think this might be more immersive since this is supposed to be in her voice as opposed to a narration.
Mission Architect is totally awesome! :)
I hate this current glitch that's breaking arcs! }:(
Since objectives can be dragged and dropped in the editor, you might want to move the clues around in Mission 3 so they are in sequential order by their Dewey Decimal numbers.
Thanks for the play-through and checking! I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to you sooner on this but my life has been busy; same goes for playing through your arc. First chance I have for some playtime (today would have been, but... you know...), I'll be running your arc. I'm really looking forward to it, based on what I've heard.
Quote:
I more or less planned it to build up into those broad strokes, so seems like you did fine with it. |
Originally Posted by Zamuel
With When The Words Stop #494099 I think this is a situation where I have to be man enough admit that I don't think I'm smart enough to truly get all the metaphors in this arc. I got it in broad strokes but overall I felt quite lost.
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If it helps, thinking back over it, think of the first three missions as being the metaphors and the last one being pretty much just her memories.Quote:
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Originally Posted by Zamuel
Didn't see any outright typos except one odd quirk that might have been due to this recent AE bug. King of All Monsters is listed as being in the All Custom Characters faction. Should be moved to something else if possible.
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Zamuel
There's several points in the arc where you mention where Emily put smiley faces and such in the notebook. Rather than doing that with words, you could use the text editing options to actually make smilies and frowns. Purely my opinion but I think this might be more immersive since this is supposed to be in her voice as opposed to a narration.
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Zamuel
Since objectives can be dragged and dropped in the editor, you might want to move the clues around in Mission 3 so they are in sequential order by their Dewey Decimal numbers.
|
Thanks again!
Quote:
It's probably not needed. It's just a weird mental organization quirk in that since I "know" the Dewey Decimal system runs from 000 to 999, I find myself wanting to rearrange them and the inability to do so mildly drives me nutty. I will note that they aren't organized in clues in the order you find them. Rather, it's whatever order you have in your arc.|
Originally Posted by Clave_Dark_5
I'm personally ok with them being found out of order, what's your thinking on that? As it's an outside map, wouldn't that not be a guarantee of "proper order" anyway? Sort of along the lines of "there's no front middle back".
|
Actually got to run this twice. While it probably plays better solo, in a group you have the ability for other's to catch the references.
[QUOTE=Zamuel;3632344]I will note that they aren't organized in clues in the order you find them. ['quote]
That's odd because they always seemed to organize in order in my clues when I test ran it. The way things pop into the clues list often seem to have no rhyme or reason...
Aaaaahhh yeah baby. You know how good it gets when it's Black as Midnight (#482914)? It's unlike anything you've ever experienced before. Why don't you settle down, get comfortable, and I'll show...
[record screech]
Ahem...don't know quite what happened there. Um, anyways on to the critique.
Story and structure
I'm not too keen on using the clues to repeat what's already in the mission. It's not an outright bad idea but could be tweaked perhaps to add different insights or to be spoken in a different voice. I also don't know if you need to outright mention the color schemes and the "(S)tart and (F)inish" notations. If you do, you may want to tweak things a bit to make them even more like a briefing than it already is. Not sure of quite the right way to do that though.
You use a setup similar to some authors in that you use very few clues. This can be potentially good though you shouldn't give up the chance for using clues to elaborate.
Deadfall doesn't give her text until she reaches the door even though "Please... help me... get to the rendezvous... point." sounds like something she'd say once you meet her. May not be fixable since some escorts can be weird but just noting that.
Perhaps it's just me but "Ambush Leader" seems a bit too...obvious. Perhaps renaming the objective to something along the lines of "Check out the commotion" would be a way to name the objective without giving things away.
In mission 2, you have a situation with multiple glowies. In a ways, it's very unneeded since the false glowies are in the same area, it's not a timed mission, and they don't do anything. Using the false glowies to give out some extra but optional information could be nice. I'd actually suggest running @Paula's Advanced Tutorial for examples and ideas.
The final map, well...it's that map. I mean, I use it too but there's some fundamental differences with using it for your arc as opposed to mine. Your customs have stealth while I made a point of giving some of mine auras. Also, you have a mid twenties arc while mine is meant for high levels. Speaking of which, I'd suggest extending the range up to 29 or 30 rather than capping at 27.
I know what you were going for and can sympathize since map selection is sort of limited for arcs set in the past or in mystical or otherworldly settings. Two maps that could potentially work, Floating Ziggurat and the Storm Palace, aren't available. I might suggest Unique -> CoT -> Vaults of Mu since it has an otherworldly feel. It can potentially an eyestrain so that's a possible negative.
Enemy design
"Oh my stars and garters."
What you have is a "Kill Agent M!" situation. (I wonder how many from the AE SG remember that...) Basically, your customs are probably fine, if challenging, solo but start getting really nasty on a team. Individual powers are fine but when you're dealing with Pain buffs + Tar Patch + to hit debuffs + exotic damage + status effects, it gets pretty bad. Main point of argument is that this is a mid to late 20s arc as opposed to a high level arc where a character has more powers and slots to deal with all that. It may take a bit of fine tuning to figure out what needs to stay and what needs to go.
With Dhahabu Kingdom and the Unfathomable Nightmare of Sand, I specifically added the Sand Raven minions and LTs in order to thin out what is otherwise a relatively buff/debuff heavy enemy group. You may want to either swap out some powers or add more customs or repurposed canon enemies. Repurposed canon enemies can be a great option if you're concerned about xp amounts. If available, recolored versions of Living Armor from the Midnighter enemy faction would be a good idea. Also, recolored versions of Red Cap bosses may work as well since their stature is different than regular humans. I state the bosses since lower ranks can potentially respawn as a higher rank and I don't know if they'd retain the coloring. Also contemplating Legacy Chain and CoT Hordelings.
Something Glazius does that's probably good after a first pass at lower settings is to run at +0 x2 with bosses on. It's not a full team setup but should give an eye for some stacking issues with powers that are otherwise fine in isolation. Plus, running in Test Mode means no debt plus special tools so you could potential test x8 situations.
One final thing, despite the darkness theme, straying away from the Darkness powersets may wind up being very helpful in balancing the arc for teams. Also, make sure your xp slider when picking powers is set to 30 as opposed to 50 since lvl 50 customs require more powers to be 100% but this isn't a lvl 50 arc.
Spelling and grammar
Mission 3 bio
Spirit of Power
Do not seek more than you recieve...
-should be-
Do not seek more than you receive...
Mission 4 outro
The dark mystics have been driven away and the tome of alteration destroyed. IT seems me'tuka wants you to enter the shadow portal.
-should probably be-
The dark mystics have been driven away and the tome of alteration destroyed. It seems Me'tuka wants you to enter the shadow portal.
Mission 5 sendoff
Your nerve endings fluxuate between a tingling sensation and total relaxation. Your body temperature rises bririefly in your extremeties.
-should be-
Your nerve endings fluctuate between a tingling sensation and total relaxation. Your body temperature rises briefly in your extremities.
Ahem...don't know quite what happened there. Um, anyways on to the critique.
Story and structure
I'm not too keen on using the clues to repeat what's already in the mission. It's not an outright bad idea but could be tweaked perhaps to add different insights or to be spoken in a different voice. I also don't know if you need to outright mention the color schemes and the "(S)tart and (F)inish" notations. If you do, you may want to tweak things a bit to make them even more like a briefing than it already is. Not sure of quite the right way to do that though.
You use a setup similar to some authors in that you use very few clues. This can be potentially good though you shouldn't give up the chance for using clues to elaborate.
Deadfall doesn't give her text until she reaches the door even though "Please... help me... get to the rendezvous... point." sounds like something she'd say once you meet her. May not be fixable since some escorts can be weird but just noting that.
Perhaps it's just me but "Ambush Leader" seems a bit too...obvious. Perhaps renaming the objective to something along the lines of "Check out the commotion" would be a way to name the objective without giving things away.
In mission 2, you have a situation with multiple glowies. In a ways, it's very unneeded since the false glowies are in the same area, it's not a timed mission, and they don't do anything. Using the false glowies to give out some extra but optional information could be nice. I'd actually suggest running @Paula's Advanced Tutorial for examples and ideas.
The final map, well...it's that map. I mean, I use it too but there's some fundamental differences with using it for your arc as opposed to mine. Your customs have stealth while I made a point of giving some of mine auras. Also, you have a mid twenties arc while mine is meant for high levels. Speaking of which, I'd suggest extending the range up to 29 or 30 rather than capping at 27.
I know what you were going for and can sympathize since map selection is sort of limited for arcs set in the past or in mystical or otherworldly settings. Two maps that could potentially work, Floating Ziggurat and the Storm Palace, aren't available. I might suggest Unique -> CoT -> Vaults of Mu since it has an otherworldly feel. It can potentially an eyestrain so that's a possible negative.
Enemy design
"Oh my stars and garters."
What you have is a "Kill Agent M!" situation. (I wonder how many from the AE SG remember that...) Basically, your customs are probably fine, if challenging, solo but start getting really nasty on a team. Individual powers are fine but when you're dealing with Pain buffs + Tar Patch + to hit debuffs + exotic damage + status effects, it gets pretty bad. Main point of argument is that this is a mid to late 20s arc as opposed to a high level arc where a character has more powers and slots to deal with all that. It may take a bit of fine tuning to figure out what needs to stay and what needs to go.
With Dhahabu Kingdom and the Unfathomable Nightmare of Sand, I specifically added the Sand Raven minions and LTs in order to thin out what is otherwise a relatively buff/debuff heavy enemy group. You may want to either swap out some powers or add more customs or repurposed canon enemies. Repurposed canon enemies can be a great option if you're concerned about xp amounts. If available, recolored versions of Living Armor from the Midnighter enemy faction would be a good idea. Also, recolored versions of Red Cap bosses may work as well since their stature is different than regular humans. I state the bosses since lower ranks can potentially respawn as a higher rank and I don't know if they'd retain the coloring. Also contemplating Legacy Chain and CoT Hordelings.
Something Glazius does that's probably good after a first pass at lower settings is to run at +0 x2 with bosses on. It's not a full team setup but should give an eye for some stacking issues with powers that are otherwise fine in isolation. Plus, running in Test Mode means no debt plus special tools so you could potential test x8 situations.
One final thing, despite the darkness theme, straying away from the Darkness powersets may wind up being very helpful in balancing the arc for teams. Also, make sure your xp slider when picking powers is set to 30 as opposed to 50 since lvl 50 customs require more powers to be 100% but this isn't a lvl 50 arc.
Spelling and grammar
Mission 3 bio
Spirit of Power
Do not seek more than you recieve...
-should be-
Do not seek more than you receive...
Mission 4 outro
The dark mystics have been driven away and the tome of alteration destroyed. IT seems me'tuka wants you to enter the shadow portal.
-should probably be-
The dark mystics have been driven away and the tome of alteration destroyed. It seems Me'tuka wants you to enter the shadow portal.
Mission 5 sendoff
Your nerve endings fluxuate between a tingling sensation and total relaxation. Your body temperature rises bririefly in your extremeties.
-should be-
Your nerve endings fluctuate between a tingling sensation and total relaxation. Your body temperature rises briefly in your extremities.
Quote:
This is something I've not seen yet, though there probably is some out there. After playing on teams in A/E more now, I was thinking as a non-leader in this situation... I wouldn't have to open "Mission" tab at all once I see it's all spelled out in "Clues" for me and I can just check that. This is something I was wondering is a good idea or not... even if as a soloer it often repeats what the contact said.|
Story and structure I'm not too keen on using the clues to repeat what's already in the mission. It's not an outright bad idea but could be tweaked perhaps to add different insights or to be spoken in a different voice. I also don't know if you need to outright mention the color schemes and the "(S)tart and (F)inish" notations. If you do, you may want to tweak things a bit to make them even more like a briefing than it already is. Not sure of quite the right way to do that though. |
Quote:
| You use a setup similar to some authors in that you use very few clues. This can be potentially good though you shouldn't give up the chance for using clues to elaborate. |
Quote:
| Deadfall doesn't give her text until she reaches the door even though "Please... help me... get to the rendezvous... point." sounds like something she'd say once you meet her. May not be fixable since some escorts can be weird but just noting that. |
Quote:
| Perhaps it's just me but "Ambush Leader" seems a bit too...obvious. Perhaps renaming the objective to something along the lines of "Check out the commotion" would be a way to name the objective without giving things away. |
in this situation at this time. Would making Phantom Strike spawn in the final room make more sense? Even tho... he could be avoided vs where his spawn location now is static at this juncture?Quote:
| In mission 2, you have a situation with multiple glowies. In a ways, it's very unneeded since the false glowies are in the same area, it's not a timed mission, and they don't do anything. Using the false glowies to give out some extra but optional information could be nice. I'd actually suggest running @Paula's Advanced Tutorial for examples and ideas. |
Quote:
| The final map, well...it's that map. I mean, I use it too but there's some fundamental differences with using it for your arc as opposed to mine. Your customs have stealth while I made a point of giving some of mine auras. Also, you have a mid twenties arc while mine is meant for high levels. Speaking of which, I'd suggest extending the range up to 29 or 30 rather than capping at 27. |
Quote:
| I know what you were going for and can sympathize since map selection is sort of limited for arcs set in the past or in mystical or otherworldly settings. Two maps that could potentially work, Floating Ziggurat and the Storm Palace, aren't available. I might suggest Unique -> CoT -> Vaults of Mu since it has an otherworldly feel. It can potentially an eyestrain so that's a possible negative. |
I'm trying to save the Vaults of Mu for later in another arc if possible. Fog element with natural surroundings is really what I wanted here. I know it's not a popular map, but if I make it all too easy... where's the fun?Quote:
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Enemy design "Oh my stars and garters." What you have is a "Kill Agent M!" situation. (I wonder how many from the AE SG remember that...) Basically, your customs are probably fine, if challenging, solo but start getting really nasty on a team. Individual powers are fine but when you're dealing with Pain buffs + Tar Patch + to hit debuffs + exotic damage + status effects, it gets pretty bad. Main point of argument is that this is a mid to late 20s arc as opposed to a high level arc where a character has more powers and slots to deal with all that. It may take a bit of fine tuning to figure out what needs to stay and what needs to go. With Dhahabu Kingdom and the Unfathomable Nightmare of Sand, I specifically added the Sand Raven minions and LTs in order to thin out what is otherwise a relatively buff/debuff heavy enemy group. You may want to either swap out some powers or add more customs or repurposed canon enemies. Repurposed canon enemies can be a great option if you're concerned about xp amounts. If available, recolored versions of Living Armor from the Midnighter enemy faction would be a good idea. Also, recolored versions of Red Cap bosses may work as well since their stature is different than regular humans. I state the bosses since lower ranks can potentially respawn as a higher rank and I don't know if they'd retain the coloring. Also contemplating Legacy Chain and CoT Hordelings. |
Quote:
| Something Glazius does that's probably good after a first pass at lower settings is to run at +0 x2 with bosses on. It's not a full team setup but should give an eye for some stacking issues with powers that are otherwise fine in isolation. Plus, running in Test Mode means no debt plus special tools so you could potential test x8 situations. |
Noted and will test more vs teams tommorrow in Test Mode.Quote:
| One final thing, despite the darkness theme, straying away from the Darkness powersets may wind up being very helpful in balancing the arc for teams. Also, make sure your xp slider when picking powers is set to 30 as opposed to 50 since lvl 50 customs require more powers to be 100% but this isn't a lvl 50 arc. |
Typos? I do'nt maek typos! Figures they at the end of the arc where I get tired of proof-reading myself.
I didn't hear complaints/major flaws about the story or details itself from you. I'm guessing for the most part, it was okay? Even if unanswered and open-ended for later...
And I certainly hope at any point you, the player, didn't feel I intruded on your character's thoughts/emotions and assume to know what's going on in your head.
Hey ZAM! You're awesome! Thanx for the Handymanishness break-down. I will most likely be making some tweeks related to aspects you mentioned but nothing major as to where I'll be asking anyone who suffered through it to replay it.
*whispers in the ear...*
That's NOT RIGHT!
Quote:
Odd, when I went in to edit/fix this... it was exactly like you suggested. Wonder if you were referring to something else. This was on Mission Exit Pop-Up, right?|
Mission 4 outro The dark mystics have been driven away and the tome of alteration destroyed. IT seems me'tuka wants you to enter the shadow portal. -should probably be- The dark mystics have been driven away and the tome of alteration destroyed. Itseems Me'tuka wants you to enter the shadow portal. |
Getting ready to head out to breakfast with friends, and did some double-checking of custom enemy power selections. Seems I did have the Spectre LTs scaled to 50, and that has been fixed until I get back and re-analyze/edit the group for better balance on final mission.
Added: Also removed Shadowfall from 2 of the Shadowmancer Bosses without it affecting their rewards much.
Still, you guys were +1/x3 on team of 2... so you were already pushing the intended limits in my mind.
I'm still going to find a way to spread out the Shadowfall more though, since I feel that's the biggest problem.
I'm likely to be a regular at the Wednesday author sessions (http://boards.cityofheroes.com/showthread.php?t=263681) so feel free to show up. Also, remember that anyone I've already critique is available for a free replay.
Hey again. I took the spur of Arc Invalid as a reason to fix up both the Operation Oedipus arcs, and though Glory of our Empire is substantively the same, Day of Infamy is greatly improved. Mostly by dint of the last map actually working, and properly.
But I'm just not sure if Day of Infamy does what I want it to do. I'm mostly concerned with the third mission. Right now it's in-keeping with the rest of the game's style, but somewhat hammy for the sort of thing I was going for. The alternative was just making the map as desolate as possible, but that makes for boring maps and a missions that's gameplay-redundant. It'd be great to get an opinion on that, since that's the last thing I've got to consider in that arc before I start to finalise it.
Arc numbers updated in Sig. Would have kept the old ones but had the choice between that, or recovering three hours of work from autosave. No contest.
Quote:
See, this is the type of optimism we need about now. Turning radioactive fallout into sun tanning booths. Quite fitting.|
Originally Posted by uberschveinen
I took the spur of Arc Invalid as a reason to fix up both the Operation Oedipus arcs
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Operation Oedipus: Day of Infamy - #505627
Story and structure
Generic 1-54 complaint for the second and third mission. Since this is obviously a Malta arc, capping things at 41+ is best. A lvl 1 would NOT want to go through this (more on that later).
Your arc works best if someone played the previous but it seems to work well enough if a player comes in blind. Always a good trait for a sequel, especially since they default to fewer plays.
I find it odd that "warning: grim" might have actually desensitized me a tad to the third mission. Then again, it might just be coming into it in a really analytical mindset. Plus, red Atlas gets used often enough that no matter how good the arc, I "meh" on reflex. I'd say it probably works for what you're going for but I'd make two key tweaks.
First would be to set the map to Empty and then add some spawns in and then your battles. Would keep the enemies in your map but having few makes it feel more desolate.
Second would be to have a generic superhero as an ally. While Malta has a rather covert ops feel and this arc reflects that, this is still a universe of superheroes. You have a rather government sanctioned themed rescue team in there. While Hero ABC may be deader than calls for a Shadow Shard pug on a Tuesday morning, Hero DEF would likely come from another part of the city to assist. Due to the theme/feel of the arc, it might be best to make them a captive with some sort of fighting emote with surrounding enemies, then when you "rescue" them they can run off with some sort of "I'll go look for others!" comment. You could possibly even make the hero Blue Steel since someone more street level may fit the arc better plus he's a legally sanctioned member of the PPD so he might have better clearance from some of the government types.
Failure text on mission 2 seemed good though I need to go back through and check the success text. However, you don't give the timer warning until after the mission is accepted. You should try to note that before.
That dark purple text in Mission 4 is really hard to read. I'd advice checking SupaFreak's thread and picking something slightly lighter in shade: http://boards.cityofheroes.com/showthread.php?t=261466
One rather interesting map thought crossed my mind. You used a Council cave in Mission 2. Since North Korea has red in their flag, perhaps a 5th Column cave would do better visually.
Enemy design
Mission 1 is Malta and Mission 4 is Malta + customs. Fair enough. I might argue that you can give the Directors different looks since Tin Mage TF establishes that they can look different than the standard. Also found it interesting that one ran while another had a stupid huge ambush. Theseus 001 shows up twice. Not sure if this was intentional since the bio makes it seem like a unique agent rather than a ranking...or twins.
The enemies in Mission 3 seem a little on the strong side but that can be mitigated by dragging them into the rescue squad. Plus, this IS a challenge arc.
The real concern comes from Mission 2 and I'm gonna start this with a funny story.
I like Test Mode. I get to do some fun stuff with invincibility and such. Due to this, I had myself on +1 x6 to see what some enemies would look like in a cluster. I sorta forgot to turn that back off. Make note that this is a Claws/Willpower Stalker who isn't really aoe optimized. I also had temporarily unequipped my Alpha slot. So I waltz in and see a surprisingly large cluster of enemies. Uh oh. I figured I'd roll with it and Assassin's Strike one. I get shot. A lot. Remember kids, always check your difficulty settings before you saunter your way into an arc. I made the...um, designer decision to bow out and run down the timer to watch the failure text.
Alrighty, the concern comes from your minions. It could be argued that a 3/2/1 or 2/3/1 division of minions/LTs/bosses is best for an arc with even more variance being better. It feels like you got 1/2/1. This is bad due to your minion powerset. As best as I can guess, they all have Beanbag. Getting killed didn't bother me since that was my own foolish mistake. What bothered me was getting stunned straight through my status protection. Soloists may not need to worry but in the event of a team, resistance based sets are gonna get screwed over hard. Even if they keep the same look, mixing in some with a different division of Assault Rifle powers or perhaps some Dual Blade (commando knife?) or Martial Arts minions would lessen the stackage. Also remember that you can use MM Thugs without the henchmen in order to get Dual Pistols in a non flashy style.
Spelling and grammar
Mission 3 objective
2 Find anyone you can!
An interesting problem due to the forced numbering. Might be better as:
2 Possible survivors to find!
Mission 4 intro
$name. I am sorry, but it always had to be this way. Malta is too amorphous for any two men to beat it, no matter how mighty. I had to force the governments of the world to drive them out, and turn against them. A nuclear attack on a high-profile civilian target, leaving thousands dead and the world screaming for action, was the most likely way to do so No nation, no matter how insular, wants to weather the knee-jerk attacks of a government desperate for a course of action to salve their citizens' fury.
Taking into account both genders, should probably be
$name. I am sorry, but it always had to be this way. Malta is too amorphous for any two people to beat it, no matter how mighty. I had to force the governments of the world to drive them out and turn against them. A nuclear attack on a high-profile civilian target, leaving thousands dead and the world screaming for action, was the most likely way to do so. No nation, no matter how insular, wants to weather the knee-jerk attacks of a government desperate for a course of action to salve their citizens' fury.
Clue - A complex sketch
A sketch of a large and badly-damaged building has been scribbled onto the paper, clearly in considerable haste. It shows one of the countless ruined office buildings of Faultline, and how Malta has subtly and comprehensively fortified the entire structure as a final holdout. The other page lists men and materiel in the building
should be
A sketch of a large and badly-damaged building has been scribbled onto the paper, clearly in considerable haste. It shows one of the countless ruined office buildings of Faultline, and how Malta has subtly and comprehensively fortified the entire structure as a final holdout. The other page lists men and material in the building
In the "Victory regulars get freebies" file, did one for for @Roderick. Now, this is coming in with the knowledge that it's rather untouched since AE went live. Still, it's a short little romp that could be quite enjoyable with some tweaks.
The Archon's New Clothes
Story and structure
The Mission 1 intro seemed rather short. It really feels like it could stand to be lengthened. Though that comes onto the thought that Mission 1 and 2 should be fused into one. Mission 1 seems almost filler though an initial starter can be good. Found it a little funny that the files were required while the civilians were not. This oddity plus the filler feel would be greatly alleviated with a merge. Have only one or two computers, an Icon secretary, a Tailor, Carson, and the surprise "hostage". Mixes it up a bit with appearances and dialog. I particularly liked Carson's seemingly callous remark about his employees safety.
I find the Defeat All in Mission 3 rather unneeded. Doubly so, you have patrols.
"Find the clue" in Mission 3 is too...overt. Spicing it up would be nice.
Enemy design
Forgivable for the time created but the EB/AV in Mission 3 is a bit strong. Mainly Build Up and the Shield Defense tier 9. Probably fine with everything else. The canon AV surprise in Mission 4 is fine.
Spelling and grammar
Clue - Facemaker's files
You found several folders full of low-quality photocopies of hand-written documents. It looks like Facemaker works on location and cash-only, so she doesn't have detailed like Serge does. She's still collected a lot of personal info on her clients though, and it looks like it's all here.
should probably be
You found several folders full of low-quality photocopies of hand-written documents. It looks like Facemaker works on location and cash-only, so she doesn't have detailed info like Serge does. She's still collected a lot of personal info on her clients though, and it looks like it's all here.
NPC Chat
Vandal: Pitiful insects! Is that your best?
To take into account soloists should probably be
Vandal: Pitiful insect! Is that your best?
Hey Zam, do you still have the notes you did on the review of my arc a year or so back? I can't find the post you made prior to the forum changeover.
Main Hero: Chad Gulzow-Man (Victory) 50, 1396 Badges
Main Villain: Evil Gulzow-Man (Victory) 50, 1193 Badges
Mission Architect arcs: Doctor Brainstorm's An Experiment Gone Awry, Arc ID 2093
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Nethergoat
it's NEVER too late to pad your /ignore list!
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Also, I forgot to mention that you might want special titles like Elite or Advanced as opposed to officially having LT in the Zoo Security's title for higher ranks.
@MrsAlphaOne
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[color=red]Official Beer Wench of PWNZ[/color] Arc 452196 When Madness Reigns over Reason. Play it and PM me your constructive criticism on what I can tweak before Oct 20th. <3 U all