I like this review format a lot, it captures the big picture as well as the details in various ways, and provides useful generalized suggestions for me to consider when writing my own arcs. Nice work!
Arc: 379017: Outbroken See all your old friends in the Outbreak Tutorial sequel!
Arc: Coming Soon: The Incarnate Shadow Shard of Fire and Ice Mender Rednem needs you!
Massively.com opinion poll: Please Help Save CoH!
Thanks, i'm really glad that some authors are finding it helpful. really i feel like the way i'm doing reviews is more accurately described as in-depth feedback. I thought it mainly for the authors, and that people wouldn't get much from my feedback when it wasn't about their arc.
The only thing is that its much slower going than i thought it would be, so i'm going to have to think about how best to go about this. In any case, i'll put up a new review from the arcs that have been suggested soon!
Thanks!
Looks like you've already got a pretty serious queue going, but I hates to miss a chance for a plug. All my missions are level 45-54, soloable (but bring purples) and around the 1 hour range. A review of any of them would be awesome - especially if you were to, say, be the FIRST PERSON OTHER THAN ME TO PLAY "Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Doom"! :P
#280412 - The Terrible Plan of Dr. Kannoenfutter
#310702 - Weep Day
#323184 - Nobody Loves Toilet Otter
#335926 - Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of DOOM!
Quote:
That's pretty much what I was going for. the contact sets the tone, and the nav bar and dialog tells you what you're doing, and you find out as you go.| I felt a little unsure of what was going on as i entered the first mission, but that also added to the atmosphere, |
Quote:
| Looking back however, i feel like a LOT of questions go unanswered. I feel that the story is incomplete, but not to the extent where it's left up to the player to fill in the blank spots. It feels incomplete in a less acceptable way. |
Quote:
| *** I loved the line describing the faces of the matchstick women. Immediately i saw the dramatic potential of this part of the story, i would be happy to play through an entire mission that explores this idea... then again 100kb... |
Quote:
|
How do these ladies get their powers? Is it the suits, or an innate ability.. *How do they know which women are suitable to become a "Match"? Is it just fate, or is it a privelege saved only for the strong..? *What was Emily's main goal? *Who was the peculiar woman, and the other women you rescue on map 2..? *Where exactly does the player fit into the story, did i see the mysterious flame by chance as i was walking down the street somewhere in Galaxy City, or did i just stumble into a virtual expression of someone else's experience while browsing AE on my day off? |
The women have their powers innately (I tried to use the Peculiar Woman to show that they are unlocking her natural powers). The group uses some yet-undetermined method to find them for recruiting.
Hi, if you could review my arc 'Loyalty to an Emperor I: Proving Your Worth' (ID: 341671), that'd be great 
It's designed as a small introduction to GR from the eyes of the Loyalists.
Thanks!
[CENTER]Euro side: [B]@Orion Star[/B] & [B]@Orions Star[/B][/CENTER]
If you're looking for something quick, fun, and not too tough to review, try out my "City of Ho Ho Ho, or A Claus in Paragon," arc 18775. It's just the thing to get you in the Christmas COH spirit and make you purchase 1,300 candy canes at Wentworth's!
I did that. I'm sitting on 1,328. <_<
I'm out of signature space! Arcs by Tubbius of Justice are HERE: http://boards.cityofheroes.com/showthread.php?t=218177
Hi folks.. I took a bit of a break for a few days, but i'm going to get back on track now...
Today i'm posting mostly rough notes and feedback on:
Arc#335926
Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of DOOM!
by: Eraserdog
*For this arc I must say that it is only a partial feedback, I had a lot of thoughts, but i did not finish the arc when i played. Still I wrote all this stuff down while playing it, so it may as well be posted.
First Impressions:
*The Big Ant threw me off a bit. (This is your contact, he looks like an arachnos crab spider, but he's supposedly a hero. I have a hard time grasping both his appearance and . . . well his hero concept. .)
--- His dialogue doesnt seem to match his appearance.
* Intro Dialogue: Its a little tedious but i think some good formatting is always helpful. Right now the dialogue is one big block of text.
*Initially the arc feels villainous.
*After reading Big Ant's bio, i thought it would help for him to have customized colors if possible. maybe if he were brown it would make it easier for the player to apply their imagination to the character instead of just sthinking, "Ah, Arachnos Crab Spider!" Like i did..
How i Felt When Playing:
*enter map 1-- Wow, what a list of objectives . . . ARRRRR Eye be frustrated Matey. T_T
*eye-eye... T_T
---- I feel like i don't want to fight soldiers of rularuu just to stop some Planksta Rappers. They should be easy to beat for a superhero
*Getting lvl15s among the spawns. Not sure how you want the spawns, but i know how troublesome manipulating spawns and custom groups with standard mobs can be.... trust me . . i used that technique in my second arc, and i spent 70% of my time trying to get the spawns right and working around bugs in AE...
*Would like to see the pirate names be plays on the names of bad rappers . .**security guys look cool, but i still feel like the eye-eye's are awkward . . .
*hmmm.... slight frustration.. don't like Sangranel. why is he an elite boss . . . ? He's just some rapper while i'm a superhero.... also, soul transfer is a mag 30 stun, with oppressive gloom on when you defeat him thats a possible mag 32 stun, it'll break through tankers tier 9s.... use soul transfer on baddies with extreme caution . . . In my experience the fastest way to get players quitting out and leaving a 1 star rating is by having the missions be unreasonably difficult. this isnt all -that- difficult but no one wants to be beaten by these characters, especially when they're level 42 superheroes fighting weird planksta rappers. it causes some annoyance
Overall Impression:
I'm also thinking that either much of the dialogue was written in haste, or the author's ideas aren't translating properly to the player. Either case would be a pretty important issue. I'd also say, if a joke or a line isnt making you chuckle as the author, then just leave it out. If your mission is making you laugh, then the problem lies in communication. Most of the jokes aren't coming accross to me.
I'll play one more mission but i'm thinking about trying something else. I wouldn't mind possibly coming back for a second look in the future. since i really only sampled the arc..
(In the end i stopped playing after the first mission, Maybe i'll give it another look at a later time)
Notes:
Perutt- why is his name spelled that way, it seems french maybe..? But i wasnt sure... kinda funny character . . . but at this point i'm really just not getting into the flow of the arc, and i'm wondering how this could be 5 missions long... i'll continue a bit more..
Mission 2 intro. hmm... why is perutt in mission 2 . . ? shouldn't i have arrested him back on the ship? unless . . .
--wait a minute, what's my legal justification for crashing their cargo ship in the first place . . ? Sure i would have wanted to do it, and would consider it a heroic act, but . . . Making horrible music that contributes to the "dumbing-down" of society still isn't legally a crime . .
Suggestions:
The Freddy Rap was prettty funny . . . but about 80% of the jokes are going right over my head. . I'm mostly confused, which isnt a word i like to use much. Still i can tell a lot of effort has gone into this mission so . . . keep refining it, and try to make the jokes more clear, some allusions can be particularly effective, but for the most part my advice is to aim for jokes that revolve around common knowlege so that most people will get them.
*I think the names of the Planksta Rappers are a good opportunity to spoof existing rappers.
*Try to lighten the first mission up a bit. As much as i try i just can't accept Sangranel being an EB (possibly AV) on the very first map.. With a character and story this silly it's hard to justify.. Maybe later on in the arc I could stand it. After we'd been chasing the Planksta's for awhile, or had time to understand that they've become more than just rappers.
Rating:
*****
I did not rate this ArcI only played through one mission, so . . . sadly i have to refrain from giving this arc a star rating for now.
For me the main problems when playing were that I found it hard to justify being on the cargo ship in mission 1. Also it was hard to justify some Pirate Rappers (who should probably be the butt of every joke) being so difficult right off the bat. And the biggest issue for me was that I just didnt get a lot of the jokes. I didnt laugh as much as i'd want to.
Anyway, this feedback was written of the course of mission 1, after that i didn't continue the arc. I just cut and pasted everything to hopefully give what was essentially a lot of notes a feeling of organization. I hope at least some part of this was helpful though! And again, i only present my opinions here and want to give authors a view into a strangers reactions to playing their mission.
Thanks for the feedback - admittedly, I'm the only one who's played this mission, so I didn't have much insight into the balance issues. With this arc, if you don't like the central joke - that once again popular music is threatening the world's youth, a threat which always ends up looking ridiculous in retrospect but that the media never fails to leap all over, playing it up as a global threat. If you don't find the idea of pirate rappers somehow taking over the world funny in and of itself, the jokes are largely going to flop for you. That part's a matter of taste.
Unfortunately, the sprite for the Big Ant isn't recolorable, so it's that color or new guy. I'm considering new guy, since that doesn't appear to be working. Since it's not a canon story, I am asking people to read the character descriptions and use their imaginations, which does put a lot of the load on the player. The size increase in Going Rogue is going to do wonders for this mission.
As for the boss difficulty levels, point well taken. All of the bosses except the last one are being bumped down, and that should help matters. I didn't realize the Rularuu would be so problematic for players, but there ARE plenty of ghosty lookin' sprites to choose from, and it won't be hard to come up with a new pirate pun for the name. As for not wanting to be defeated, that might be a taste thing, and being surprised by what you come up against does factor in a pretty big way in the story, as things begin to get much weirder and the story gets moving. As for the level 15s, those are decorations. Decorations you can beat up for kicks. They make the place look more pirate-haunted, and it's the only passable ghost-pirate sprite in the game.
The justification for Sangrenel having ghosts, etc. around him - and for the haunted freighter in the first place - is that Sangrenel actually DOES have supernatural powers, as the next encounter, and reveals in chapters 3 and 4 flesh out. He's not just some rapper, he's a GHOST PIRATE rapper (Sangrenel being a particularly nasty type of cannon ammunition, as well as a cool gothy sounding word).
Also, holy crap, I had no idea he was so broken. My test toon is a 46 stacked with stun, hold, etc. protection, so I didn't catch that. Would you believe I was just trying to make him not utterly squishy? He's bumped down to boss, and those stuns are gone - yipe. Time to start playtesting with a few other toons.
Your legal justification for crashing the ship is standard ghostbusting, plus the fact that it's an unliscenced and unidentified ship coming into port (a no-no in these times of heightened national security) - I thought the Ant's dialogue did get this across, but maybe without such a distracting sprite it'll be easier to get into it. Also, to spoil a minor joke, the worst crime is the fact that the freighter is full of not just pirate rap, but PIRATED copies of pirate rap.
Perutt keeps coming back because he manages to cower and snivel away after each encounter, something I hoped I was getting across in the dialogue. That's nothing a few more lines can't clarify. With regards to boss names, I'm trying to spoof concepts and take broadside shots here, so I hate to go as far as tying a character down a single joke/parody with a straight-up parody name.
The dialogue definitely wasn't written in haste - the rhymes in some of the clues were painstaking - but again, I think this is probably a case of not being into the central conceit of the story, meaning none of the jokes are really going to work for you. Admittedly, it's a pretty small overlap in that particular Venn diagram, people who find both pirate puns and parody rap funny. Also, there's a build going on, with big reveals in missions 3 and 4, so you didn't see the majority of the writing in this one.
Thanks for the feedback, and constructive criticism is definitely appreciated. That's why it's a 'Work in Progress' - I can't wait for the 200k limit with the expansion, but for now, I'm going to put a lot of these suggestions in to action in the limited fashion space allows.
Thanks
Eraserdog
I know you've got a lot of review requests here, but I updated Matchstick Women and wouldn't mind another quick look at it. Notably I added a brand new mission #2, and added a few bio/clue details in mission #3. Let me know if it answers any more of your questions, or if it just raises more.
Hiya folks, i haven't been playing City much in November, but i think i'll be playing a bit more frequently now. "Reviewing" an arc seems to take a couple of hours, so I've been slacking. Anyway I'm back and hoping to provide some helpful feedback, while trying not to be a jerk :P
So today i'm going to post my feedback on
Loyalty to an Emperor I: Proving Your Worth
Also for the record i want to announce my intention to go back over many arcs that i've either sampled or want to try again with an actual team and maybe post some thoughts from that perspective. I realize the experience of playing some arcs changes drastically depending on the size and makeup of your team. Sadly most of our arcs never get to experience that sort of attention due to the strong phobia most players seem to have regarding AE...
Anyways if i go through with a team i'll probably use my tanker on Virtue: Xelyph, and if anyone wants to go along just let me know sometime or leave a message @Tragedy Redtear
Thanks folks!
Today I played through:
Loyalty to an Emperor I: Proving Your WorthBy: Orion_Star_EU
Overview:
Arc ID: 341671
Keywords: Custom Characters, Complex Mechanics, Canon Related
Length: Long
First Published: 10/30/2009
Morality: Villainous
Mission 1: Unique Map, Level range 35-50. Contains Boss
Mission 2: Unique Map, Level range 35-50. Contains Patrol, Escort.
Mission 3: Unique Map, Level range 35-50. Contains Boss
Mission 4: Small size map, level range 35-50. Contains Boss, A Destructible Object
Enemy Groups: Generic, Custom Group
Description: Unofficial Going Rogue prologue. In this arc you will prove yourself worthy to serve the great Emporer Cole! [SFMA/SLMA/HLMA]
Story Status: Looking for Feedback
WARNING! Storyarc May Contain: Elite Bosses, Extreme Bosses, Enemies with custom power selections!
In this arc you are play the role of a new recruit climbing the ranks in service to Emperor Cole of the Going Rogue storyline. It's a very villainous arc with interesting custom characters, a couple of uniquely styled missions, and very quick pacing.
First Impressions:First off, even before I spoke to the contact i was very interested in playing through this arc, because i have no idea of the storyline behind Going Rogue. I know pretty much nothing about the expansion. This could be interesting!
Mission one begin: "Interesting angle, lets do this!"
+Thanks for the Timed Mission warning! It prepares the player well. Instead of clicking accept and being slapped with a potentially irritating 10 minute timer, I'm warned and instead approach the mission as an exciting challenge. Little details like that help the player gain some trust in the author. Helps to win them over..
How I felt While Playing:hmmm.....
Mission 1:
It is a bit odd, even if its a unique angle on a mission, to be sent in there to fight just one guy. . . I also wonder, is he an EB or AV normally...? This mission poses some balance and difficulty issues. As a solo lvl32 sonic/pain corruptor it would have been impossible for me to complete without the use of insp. however on a larger team, if he's just an EB he won't be much of a challenge... so it might seen awkward. An AV fight might be interesting but it may also annoy people..
I think the best way to go about this mission, although I like the idea, would be to expand it just a tad.. I'll make a note of this in the suggestions section.
XAfter the first mission and intro dialogue for the second, i'm as in the dark about GR as i was when i started. I don't know who Emporer Cole is, or the guy who's name was mentioned in the mission complete popup. Right now i feel like the dialogue could also be expanded a bit, and that would help.
XCaptain Leister's bio: It was enough to tell me that Captain Leister has a story, but it didnt really tell me anything about that story. Its little things like this which can make an arc really immersive; Really feel like a story. I'd hoped to find more in his description.
XCustoms: The Resistance: The bio "these people are sick of being ruled by the "great" emporer cole and have decided to fight back." That much is contained within their name. These custom bio's could be another chance to add depth to the story
XOnly one sentence debriefing after mission two: Ah, i think that's one of my issues of personal taste. A single sentence out there alone has a lot of work to do. It has to be a pretty darn strong sentence if it's going to hold down the storyline all on its own. Anyway.... just a bit more would be nice, even though i guess the rest of the team can't see debriefings
Mission Three:
+ Cool, Mission One in reverse! I'm ready!
+Sendoff Dialogue: "We will be watching you closely" okay, 'nuff said. in this case one sentence seems okay, its just when the players starts to suspect that the other potential sentences are missing due to a lack of effort that it becomes bothersome.
*Visage dialogue: Jeez, I'm a corruptor, but i'm mostly just a sarcastic theif who lacks a moral foundation. A misanthrope gone wrong. even as a villain i don't know if i want to be -that- evil. but it tells the story well... This Emporer Cole is a tyrant...
*Fissionette Dialogue:
noo, not the family and kid's line again T_T... i'm not this evil.
+. I liked Wolfgang's bio and dialogue Still not sure how i feel about killing innocent people... but again i can't complain too much about this because it tells the story of this Empire...
Mission Four:
Brief dialogue again, in some ways it's a plus to keep things short and sweet. However . . . (see suggestions)
---When Captain Leister says " We need you to...." I felt that sounded awkward. I thought he would just give you a command.
---I thought the transmitters looked a little out of place here...
XPh1L0t1x and Undrn3t:
Well... i expected Freakshow with names like those... But the l33t-speak, although i'm not entirely sure why they use it, didnt bother me too much... it did draw my attention in a questioning manner though.
---Maybe if only philotics' name was spelled that way it would be less distracting and grant personality to that individual character. I looked up Philotics out of curiosity... and it all has a very high-tech feel to it, but i think having Cripple the Undrn3t hanging around on the nav bar detracts a little from the mission. I don't think the players have been won over enough to use that without being off-putting to some people. Also i don't think the mission or feel of UnderNet will suffer from having it spelled differently. Ph1L0t1x i think is okay though.... of course this is my opinion coming from my personal taste and reactions to things.
Notes:
+i like the idea of trying to avoid the rebels in mission two. It makes me feel like i'm doing something different. Not just running through and bustin' heads like always. Of course i'm sure that on a large team avoiding the rebels will be much more of a hassle, but the suggestion given is a nice touch
XRebel Blaster and Rebel Sharpshooter did not award exp. Rebel Brawler was worth 206 at lvl 32, which seems low but i haven't been checking my solo exp lately. I've learned that due to the AE exp changes in the latest patch, custom baddies will not award exp if they are missing any of the default powers in the "Standard" difficulty setting. Sure, you can now customize the powers of baddies completely, but you can also choose 8 out of 9 powers for your custom baddie and still have him award no exp if the one power he's missing is one of the default standard powers. Consider these the minimum requirement for a baddie... Also as far as i know, the exp awarded from custom baddies has 3 tiers... standard, hard, and extreme. A custom doesnt qualify for the a tier of exp if it is missing a single power defaulted by choosing that difficulty setting... Hope that makes sense, and this is accurate according only to my personal observations.. . which could be flawed..
+ i like the look and feel of the customs in general. Nice! Makes me thing of Terminator... for some reason.
+ Mission two Fissionette as a "volunteer" is a nice touch
X I'm beginning mission three without having any clues yet.. Even if not that many people read them, i think a mission should still have clues. Just for those who do want to read that much. Also I think players on a team who are not team- members are more likely to read clues than they are to click Mission-> More Info. So i think that might be a way of getting some of the story accross to players who are just along for the ride.
XQuestionably powerful bosses:
Captain Leister and Philotics. Since there are only two it might fly, but being hit for 756 before build up(which he has) at lvl 32 is a little bit . . . hrmm. . . Plus endurance drain on all of the attacks. It's ultimately your decision how you want baddies strength to be, but also try to keep in mind that there are all sorts of AT's and builds out there, as well as team compositions.... Overly Powerful baddies can be used, but i think their best use is for dramatic effect. I'm playing at +0 x1 no bosses... now imagine the difficulty if this guy turned into an EB or and AV, or if the mission difficulty level were higher...
Even if he's hitting for 756 the boss level of Endurance drain on every attack will even drop some of the best tankers .
---having a high difficulty is the fastest way to get people to drop, but he is the final boss so . . it could work.
As for Captain Leister, Super Strength is okay but i've found that giving them KO Blow makes things rough for non tanker types, and giving them Rage is right out. For everyone really... Keep in mind NPC's can easily be stronger than other players just due to hit point and damage scaling.. so giving them the powers that you might expect to deal with in pvp can in sometimes be even worse than fighting another player
Suggestions:
+ Expand Dialogue to create more of a story.
Rating: Leans on the existing story too much. I got nothing out of it other than that i was serving a really evil oppressive emporer.
+Dialogue: I think that the dialogue for this arc really needs to be developed more. I didnt get much more than "do this, now do that" out of the arc. There's much more there, but i want to see it come out and flourish through text.
+ Add clues to help expand the story and make it more accessible to non-leaders.. get me to care.
+ perhaps a warning in the dialogue about how Philotics is powerful and whatnot... could help. That is if you're sure you don't want to tune down their difficulty
Rating:Overall, I wound up giving
Loyalty to an Emperor I: Proving Your WorthBy: Orion_Star_EU
*****
3 stars out of 5
Mostly because well, i didnt get much out of playing the arc. Most of the time i was looking for story, and hoping to find out something about GR, but i wound up learning nothing more than i could have inferred from the names and titles of the arc, characters, and what tiny amount i already knew about the storyline. I realize it all makes perfect sense to those who already know all the story, but in that case the arc leans on the established story too much I think. Players who don't know are completely left out and don't get much out of playing it... Also, if we aren't developing anything unique from the existing GR story, then there isn't a whole lot a player gets from playing through the arc.
However a 3 star rating still represents a GOOD arc, it was fun (except for the killing innocent people and all that) and it all came together very well, but I just felt like i didnt get much from playing it.
I think Canon stories might benefit from explaining more about what's going on, or what's being referenced. Most players don't research canon storyline, and so they only know what they've gathered by playing. So for someone who doesn't already know the story all i got from it really was that i was serving a really evil oppressive emporer.
Even now though, 3 stars seems like too low, but i didnt have enough to want to give it a 4 even though its a good arc.
Well, if you'd be interested in checking out an attempt at the mystery genre, I'm pretty starved for feedback on my first serious stab at arc creation.
Arc Name: The Patriot Palace Massacre
Arc ID: 342403
Difficulty: Need input from playtesters
Ideal for: Solo, level 50 hero
Length: 5 missions
Description: A local supergroup was gruesomely slain in their own home, and it will take a Hero of the City to bring the killer to justice.
Submitting my bid for a review. Spent a lot of time on this arc.
Arc Name: Demon of Ice and Fire
Arc ID: 254714
Difficulty: With everything turned down, easily soloable by most (sonic/pain MAY have issues). Multiple EB's and two AV's (both of which can be turned down). Some of the minions have inherent synergy that make them challenging but fun.
Ideal For: Solo Level 50, or large teams. Medium sized teams may run into problems with increasing spawn size.
Length: 4 Missions
Description: (from the summary)
After being contacted by a mysterious woman, you are thrust into a dimension-bending battle that spans to the very brink of Time itself. You must rebel against good and evil alike if you are to discover the truth behind the Menders and their deity-like manipulations.
Shorthand: You are chosen by a mysterious, self-proclaimed "god" to destroy the Menders and the source of their power. All is not as it seems, however.
Notes: Many references to in game canon. Consider it my best work.
Can you try out mine? It is pretty good.: D
Tell me how you like it ; )
Arc Name: "Sisterhood"
Arc ID: 123426
Keywords: Challenging, Custom Characters, Kid Friendly
Length: Very Long (5 missions)
Morality: Heroic
Description: A.L.O.N.E - (A League of No Enhancements) was formed by Lady Star. She detests anyone born with special powers and plans to wipe all of them off the face of the planet. We don't know why they hate poeple with powers. Someone has to stop them and find out why. Will you help us?
Firstly, thanks for playing and for the feedback
The main problem that you seemed to be having - the lack of GR info - is being rectified with another arc that will act as an introduction, giving you some backstory and then the choice of joining the Resistance or the Loyalists (and therefore branching off into two different arcs), so you don't go in blind.
Leister is set as an EB. There was a problem with him not being able to die before, but I fixed that a few days ago and you probably played it before I did.
Leister has a story if you go to his info in the actual mission, but I had to cut it down in the contact info due to the 300 character limit 
I'll try and edit the Resistance bios - Text/storyline in general is not my forte though - gameplay is, hence all the crazy mechanics, so I always have trouble here 
Same goes for the debriefing, but I'll see what I can do.
Mission 3 is meant to make you feel really, really, really evil, so I'm glad that worked
Leister's general tone is meant to be a bit desperate in mission 4, I was trying to give of the impression that they aren't all powerful like Cole would have everyone believe.
Ph1L0t1x & The Undrn3t actually come from here, PK allowed me to use his ideas for the arc. The reason there is very little description for it is because the Loyalists don't know any more than you do about it.
XP: Yeah I know that's a problem but there's not much I can do. I took some powers away as they were just too hard before :/
I'll add in some clues too. Completely forgot about that for some reason.
I'll tweak Ph1l to make him more killable, but I'd like to leave his end drain in as it makes him more of a challenge than your bog standard boss.
I'll make Cap a bit weaker too.
This may take a while for me to update as MW2 has been sucking up all of my time as of late, but I really do appreciate the feedback
[CENTER]Euro side: [B]@Orion Star[/B] & [B]@Orions Star[/B][/CENTER]
Check out my story arc: I Will Dance On Your Grave
It was originally 5 missions. 2 were repetitive so I cut it to 4. I just revised it to 3 as a map was removed a year ago and I just hated to cut the mission.
So it is story based. My thing is to have a lot going on in the missions. There are standard spawns, but there are a lot of spawns doing something, saying something, etc. So within each mission is some variety.
344779 (I think)
Hiya all, I just want to let everyone know that I won't be able to play City of Heroes this weekend, so you might not hear from me for a few days. On the plus side though, I have a lot of interesting sounding arcs suggested here and i intend to play them and write some feedback. It winds up being a pretty slow process, but hopefully it's worthwhile for people, and fun for me.
So in short I'll continue doing reviews slowly but surely as soon as i can.
Next up i'll write a hopefully quick bit of feedback about an arc i stumbled upon the other day, which wasn't suggested on this thread. After that i have 3 or 4 arcs lined up in mind which sound interesting and i want to play.
My next review/feedback will be of:
ArcID# 67566
The Paradox Raid
Thx everyone, keep up the good work!
The Paradox Raid
By: @Echoshard
Thx everyone, keep up the good work!
Quote:
I have created a new version of the arc that I originally posted in your thread. My original contact was Ms. Liberty who I chose for obvious reasons. However some reviewers were bothered by the fact that they felt my portrayal of her was not true to cannon. So, I created a new version of my arc with a very different contact and tweaked it based on some suggestions made by various board reviewers.|
Originally Posted by ArrowRose
I would love it if you would play my arc:
In Pursuit of Liberty - 344916 @Gypsy Rose Thanks |
That is my long way of saying, I would love it if you would play the new version of my arc instead. The new ID is 344916.
Thanks so much
@Gypsy Rose
In Pursuit of Liberty - 344916
The Vigilante - 395861
Suppression - 374481 - Winner of The American Legion's February 2011 AE Author Contest
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Lithrei
My next review/feedback will be of:
ArcID# 67566 The Paradox Raid By: @Echoshard |
That arc was indeed a lucky find. I am curious what you will write about it.
The Paradox RaidBy: @Echoshard
Overview:
Arc ID: 67566
Keywords: Custom Characters, Magic, Sci-Fi
Length: Long
First Published: 04/15/2009
Morality: Villainous
Mission 1: Unique Map, Level range 27-43. Contains:Boss, A Destructible Object, Patrol, Battle.
Mission 2: Unique map, level range 27-43, Contains Boss, Collection, Defeat All Enemies.
Mission 3: Large size map, level range 27-43. Contains Boss, Collection, Patrol.
Enemy Groups: Custom Group
Description: Travel back in time to the Golden Age of World War 2 Europe and seek clues to the hidden location of the lost Spear of Destiny! ((Suggested Players: 1-4 - Contains: 1 Elite Boss - Tags: MLMA SFSF FHMA HPMA HRMA MWMA))
Story Status:
Final
Warning! Storyarc May Contain: Elite Bosses, Enemies with custom power selections!
In this arc you are a villain approached by Avenger Lost of the Midnighters to help on a job which would not be quite so appealing to a hero. (not that every villain would want to fight allied forces in World War II, which you wind up doing.)
How I felt When Playing:
Mission 1:
+Immediately as i walk onto the map the setting draws me in. The choice of map is great and makes me feel like i'm on a battlefield. I like the entire concept of going back to World War II. Mixing story elements with real life/historical events gives the story a special appeal.
+The customs look excellent! Their bios are all nice little tidbits that garnish the story. I really like this : )
X On the downside though, there are two things i'm not quite able to appreciate. Firstly The RAF has super powers! i need some kind of explanation for this... i don't know why soldiers of World War II are pummeling me with energy charged punches. I even saw one of them flying! hrmmmmm.... We need some sort of explanation for this.
X Secondly, i didnt like the field nurses... That may be another aspect of my personal taste, but i thought that even if lady medics were in the middle of the battlefield at this time, they would have been dressed much differently. They should be wearing the same combat gear as the males. Not necessarily the Royal Air Force gear, but something comparable.
+ I really like seeing the battle between the RAF and the 5th column. That was another nice surprise that really added to the atmosphere of the mission. However i do feel that it's awkward for the 5th column to be set as allies. I wouldnt really want to ally with them even though i AM a villain.. also i don't think they'd know who i was, so they would probably just attack me on sight. maybe they should be set up as rogue.
X I don't remember having the meaning of RAF spelled out to me during the arc. Adding that in somewhere may be handy. The person i was teaming with had to clue me in on the meaning. Royal Air Force
+ I also like the idea of finding the Lance of Longinus during WWII and it having supernatural powers.
Mission 2:
X The start of this mission seems a little bit awkward in a few ways. Although again the costuming is excellent and the choice of map maintains the feel of the story well, I just get odd questions about these Mad Scientists. Their swords are a nice touch, but i wonder about their powers. Sure, they could have developed them in some experiment, but if the British had these sort of things at their disposal during the war then it seems like the player will wonder why they didn't use them according to history. Maybe adding a little bit more in their bios to describe what's going on would help. I want to know what this facilty is and how they got their powers. Also how they did (or didn't) apply them to the allied forces.
Possibly this raid on the top secret lab by the player could be the reason for the loss of their advancements, and could explain why history doesnt take note of this being used in the war. Then again i know we're kindof merging two universes with this mission.. reality and City of Heroes.... but still it causes questions to pop up. suffice it to say that i did think it was very odd for the RAF to have super powers, and this might be an issue worth addressing.
X If the experiments of the mad scientists found on the second map are what endowed the RAF with energy manipulation on the first map, the player should definitely be clued in to that, perhaps from clues he finds on the map.
X one last note: It seems like mad science and experimentation was the specialty of the Nazi's during WWII. Maybe we could be fighting them on this map instead of the British. That idea crossed my mind while playing..
Here's an idea of the kind of dialogue i thought could be helpful on this map:
Co-Pilot: "I'm glad i signed up for the Soldier Enhancemnt Program... We'll give em hell on the battlefield now, won't we Private Edwards?"
Mission 3:
I like the writing of mission 3's dialogue. When i first played this arc i was duo'ing with a defender, and i was a corruptor. So all of Avenger Lost's warnings were pretty convincing. We didn't really want to face down this Pendulum fellow
X The writing is good, a lot of the storyline is inferred, maybe a bit too much is.
XTurgidson definitely needs a unique bio! Also, he says "we'll meet again" but certainly we won't since this is the last mission in the arc
X Pendulum: i got the feeling that he was a canon character from the way he's referred to during the arc. If he's not, then good job in the writing. . He gets an air of clout almost like he's a legend, which goes a long way to justify him being a really powerful final boss. If he is, however, i want to know a bit more about him and his story . . . By the way... who is Pendulum anyway and were did he get his powers? he looks like some sort of alien or supernatural being. He works with the midnighters so that suggest a magical background, but he's surrounded by the RAF and a bunch of mad scientists so i'm not sure...
? Another thing is i'm also a bit curious as to how i've gone back and forth through time without Avenger Lost's help. For that matter, where did i meet Avenger Lost...? We're definitely not in the Midnighter Club or else he would have people coming to his aid. Also I don't know why he sticks around to wait while we go off to missions two and three. That would be the perfect time to get help from a hero, since we've taken this time travelling thing out of his hands and put it to our own dastardly ends.
Now, all of these thoughts didn't seem important to me the first time i played through the arc. I just enjoyed it and they didn't cross my mind too much. But when i look closer into the story little incongruities appear. I just want to bring that to the author's attention and let them do what they will (or won't) about it.
Suggestions:
X Mandrake and Turgidson:
Their dialogue sounds a little too scripted i think. These two bosses are named but with no specific bio's.. They add a little bit to the story just by being there, but who knows what little bit that is since their dialogue and bio's don't tell us anything specific about them. I could imagine that Mandrake and Turgidson are the founders of the British army's scientific enhancement program. Or they could be time travellers from the future like myself, who intended to bring a little extra technology to the allied forces.
Or they could be aliens in disguise- Heck, I don't know! When a bit too much is left up to the player's imagination, then the author can't be totally sure of what story he's telling. It's good to find a happy medium between force feeding everything to the player and letting them fill in (or fail to fill in) too many inferences on their own.
*disclaimer* All of this is of course my own humble opinion, and my main intentions are to provide feedback and thoughts which will hopefully be helpful to the author in any way.
X cardboard boxes: I thought it was a little odd looking. If this faction really had aqcuired the Lance of Longinus, which in this story is a source of tremendous power, i really don't think that it would be lying around in a pile of cardboard boxes. One way to help this feel more cohesive could be to add many different kinds objects to search. It would be more interesting than just having cardboard boxes. Also clues or text on those searchable objects would present an opportunity to add a lot more flavor to the mission.
"You look through a shipment of crates..... You found (something), but it wasn't the Spear"
At face value some of these things don't really matter, but when you look deeper many questions arise, so theres room for a lot of advancement toward perfection.
Notes:
Mission 1:
-Typo in Avenger Lost's Bio "then" where "than" is needed
-Typo in the intro text for mission 1. Avenger Lost says "I hold a proposition which could make use your... unique talents" "of" is missing.
Mission 2:
-Than and Then typo again in the intro dialogue " then "The Spear of Destiny", or Lance of Longinus if you perfer."
- Minor typo in Strangecraft's bio: "Meglomaniacs"
-The default nav text "defeat all enemies" seems like a good place to add flavor. Something like wipe out the scientists, or interrogate all. Nothing specifically, i just think changing it away from Defeat all would add to the mission.
- With this many customs i can imagine this arc was quickly approaching the Size limit...
Mission 3:
- Spitfire: Minions with web 'nade is a very iffy thing in my opinion... in this case it seems to not have adversely affected the experience... but just be careful... that can really get out of control.
- Lance of Longinus Clue "...the flesh "God" himself when he walked amoung the earth!" there are two to three minor typos here. "of" is missing, and walked among the earth doesn't quite sound right. maybe "walked upon the earth"
- Dogfighter: Then/Than typo in his bio
Rating:
All in all, i gaveThe Paradox RaidBy: @Echoshard
*****
Four stars out of Five
Because it was thoroughly enjoyable and what i found to be a very interesting story! The author showed that he or she has an excellent writing ability and their own take on creating a story within AE. I really like the historical references, and you get the feeling that there is a good deal of accurate info contained in the arc.
I had a lot of fun while playing it and think this arc has a lot of potential, in game i gave it a 5 star rating, but further scrutiny reveals that there are a LOT of little things that probably could be done to this arc to bring it up to that level of final perfection. I hope we all get to see that one day, great work!
These are some fantastic reviews! Although I understand that it may take you a while to get to it, I'd like to submit my own arc, The Rikti Accession, to your list of arcs to play. Its ID is in my signature, but I'll still let you know that it's 278757. As for the arc itself, it's a level 40-50 Neutral arc (Although it's supposed to be styled like a RWZ arc) that involves a Restructurist plot that has its roots back in the first Rikti War. You'll find out what it is soon enough.
So far, most of the response to it has been positive, but it seems like the biggest criticism is that it's too wordy, even though I personally feel that the words are all necessary to properly convey the story. Your thoughts on that would definitely be appreciated, along with any other criticisms you can provide!
Most of all, I hope you enjoy it!
My arcs:
Title: Blitzkrieg
Arc ID: 3416
Title: Soldiers of Fortune
Arc ID: 4431
Title: The Rikti Accession
Arc ID: 278757
Echoshard here.
You hit the mark on a lot of the issues with this arc. The feedback was a great resource pinning down the little tweaks and problems which stemmed from being so close to the 100k cap back when it was first created. Now that AE is more efficient in its engine it was a treat to revisit an old tale and breath a little new life into it. It's also reaffirming to know that after all the work that's been placed into a tale people are still getting fun out of it!
I've updated and tweaked slightly in some minor respects. A small note: Avenger Lost is an anagram of Strangelove, and anyone a fan of the movie will get a kick out of some of the references.
Thanks again and have enjoy yourselves!
--Echo
I took a different approach when playing this arc. As i went along i just scribbled down unrefined thoughts on a piece of paper. So here goes--
Matchstick Women
By: Bubbawheat
Seeing the contact "sparks" my imagination. The story description is also interesting. To me the story descrpition is an extremely important part of a mission arc because it is the first thing a person sees when browsing AE (okay, second counting the title). As such the story description can be your only chance to convince a stranger to play your arc....
A side thought . . . Even if the title of an arc is interesting and i'm slightly compelled to try playing it, there is a good chance i will skip it on principle if its story description amounts to one sentence or less... After all, if the author only puts that much effort into such an important part of telling their story, then how can i expect to find anything but the same lack of effort throughout its missions...? This mission didn't have that problem.
Anyway, i stumbled a bit over the title of this arc.
Matchstick Women, immediately reminds of the the title of a movie that i never watched, called Matchstick Men. That distracted me from the story of this arc, because i was trying to find a connection. Since i skipped Matchstick Men, i was considering also skipping Matchstick Women. I like to look for new and unique stories.
To be fair though i looked up a review of Matchstick Men, and even the definition of the title. I couldn't find any similarities between that movie and this mission arc from reading the review. A Matchstick Man is another term for a con-artist, from what i could find on The Google. *shrug*
As i clicked on the contact and read the intro dialogue, i got the feeling that this was the kind of mission arc that could have also been written as a creative short story. It can be hard to force a good story into the narrow scope of the Architect System, so i wanted to see how much this arc could press the boundaries of AE.
it begins with "Out of the corner of your eye, you see a mysterious flame..." and from there you're drawn into the story. I was curious and wary, but the writing style tells me that the author has a story to tell. One thing i have to say though is that i had questions building up from the first sentence, mainly "Where was I, and what was i doing before i noticed the flame?" Are players intended to accept such a deep story simply as an architect patron with extra time on their hands, or are we living through and experiencing a scenario..? I wasn't sure how i fit into the story.
----- I felt a little unsure of what was going on as i entered the first mission, but that also added to the atmosphere, and played along with what the author seemed to be doing. Mission one went by without a hitch and I was eager to find out was happening, so i hurried on to mission two. The desire to find out what is happening makes this arc run smoothly, but i think its a technique that has its hazards..
Notes:
--- The Peculiar Woman: I saw a typo that had this character named "The Pecular Woman" Also, i did find her very peculiar, and wasnt sure how i felt about her. I have a problem with some female character designs and get tired of seeing heroes fighting crime in high heels and a miniskirt. Most people don't seem to get bothered by this sort of thing though . . after all, it could be an enchanted miniskirt and magical heels. Or a mystical bathing suit that protects its wearer from all harm. . . or... Whatever, the Peculiar Woman wasn't as bad as all that..
- Immediately i got the feeling that the peculiar woman was tied to Emily somehow, but in the end i either missed the answer to this question completely, or it was left unanswered. I played this arc two days ago, and looking back I actually can't remember anything about the peculiar woman other than seeing her show up on the maps...
--- The interesting custom characters added a lot to the feel of the arc. Since its only 3 missions long they didnt have time to get old or boring . .
--- The final mission was completed before i had collected the glowie, which seemed a little odd.
The plotline for Matchstick Women was surprisingly interesting (compared to my first impression of the title), and holds a great deal of dramatic potential. Because of the interesting story and the desire to find answers within the mysterious atmosphere of events, i had fun playing the mission. Looking back however, i feel like a LOT of questions go unanswered. I feel that the story is incomplete, but not to the extent where it's left up to the player to fill in the blank spots. It feels incomplete in a less acceptable way. I think the players deserve to find more answers during this arc. The concept of the story is too good to leave this much of it to the imagination of the user..
** The main thing i would say is that i believe this story has a lot more potential and it hasn't quite realized it yet. When I set out to make a mission arc in the past i've sometimes had problems fitting everything i had envisioned into the cramped format of a few AE missions, made even more cramped by the 100kb size limit. . . So from an outside perspective it feels like the author might have a similar struggle here. Clearly all of the characters have a pupose and a meaning to the author but those things aren't totally conveyed to the player. I've been told that a sign of good writing is what it communicates indirectly.. I can see that being done here, but also i feel like it falls a little bit short of accomplishing that graceful communication. I'm left with just too many questions which are too great of a burden to just be left up for interpretation.
*** I loved the line describing the faces of the matchstick women. Immediately i saw the dramatic potential of this part of the story, i would be happy to play through an entire mission that explores this idea... then again 100kb...
*** The story could use a frame or something of that nature to help the player get into the story and then out of it again with ease.
*** I felt a strong emphasis on gender throughout the mission. It builds up some powerful feelings in me, but causes me to feel let down in the end, because this angle wasn't explored enough in the arc.
*** Mainly, try to inject the answers to all these questions into the story somehow. Tie up those lose ends and leave others open, but my advice is to be very picky about which ends you choose to leave open. This is an arc that could even be expanded by a mission or two.
I gave
Matchstick Women
By: Bubbawheat
*****
4 stars out of 5
Because although i had fun while playing it and gave it a 5 star in-game rating, while writing this review i just felt that there is so much more that should be done to grow this story into what it deserves to be. So the missing star represents that gap to be bridged between a great story and a perfect one.
In the end, there are just so many unanswered questions.
*How do these ladies get their powers? Is it the suits, or an innate ability.. *How do they know which women are suitable to become a "Match"? Is it just fate, or is it a privelege saved only for the strong..?
*What was Emily's main goal?
*Who was the peculiar woman, and the other women you rescue on map 2..?
*Where exactly does the player fit into the story, did i see the mysterious flame by chance as i was walking down the street somewhere in Galaxy City, or did i just stumble into a virtual expression of someone else's experience while browsing AE on my day off?