Things to do if Issue 16 goes live today

So there’s the possibility that Issue 16 will go live today… hmmmm…

Things to do if Issue 16 DOES go live:

• Immediately assume issue 16 going live so early had something to do with Positron getting Swine Flu… leap to the conclusion that if we give him Bird Flu we’ll get Going Rogue next week! Yeah, right… Avian Flu… Swine Flu… Going Rogue…. In other words: When Pigs Fly.

• Go out and buy stock in Icon; watch the influence just ROLL in as everyone in the game runs to alter the appearance of their powers.

• Also buy stock in Paragon City Potent Potables and Winery Inc… ‘cause ol’ Serge is soon going to develop a drinking problem.

• Stand in Atlas Park and tell the 1,000 50th level characters who have never left the AE building how to get to Icon.

• Watch the system crash repeatedly until the developers eventually set all Icon doors to send players into instanced maps.

• For the next week or so when teaming with other players do NOT actually help in combat. Instead stand off to one side and rate each person’s power color scheme with the judge emote. Anyone daring to use the default colors gets an automatic 2.

• Tell everyone in broadcast that you’ve had customizable colors on your powers for years… you just had to fiddle with the tint settings on your monitor.

• Start a thread in the forums demanding to know when Issue 17 is going to happen… but then realize there’s still Going Rogue… unable to decide which overpowering urge to follow in your trolling your brain seizes up and two days later your friends break down the door to find you staring at your computer screen… a puddle of drool in your lap… at least… your friends HOPE it’s a puddle of drool.

• To your utter mortification discover that the other Empathy Defender in your team has used the exact same colors for their power set! Ohmigawd! This is … like… so TOTALLY worse than that time Suzie Denniker wore the I-Dent-Ick-El dress to senior prom!

• Why bother to choose a new color scheme for your powers? You don’t use the danged things while door sitting your AE farm anyway.

• Stand in the AE building and slowly realize after several attempts that your favorite farms don’t give hardly any xp anymore. Suddenly become aware that your 50th level super hero has acute Agoraphobia.

• Despite tinkering with your Martial Arts Scrapper for hours you still feel unsatisfied. You realize then that until they give you an emote of Bruce Lee’s “come hither” finger jerk you just won’t feel complete.

• Now that stone tanks can have crystals as armor… bug the living bejeebies out of your friends to make a 12 member super group for each birthstone.

• After all your efforts… throw a truly stupendous snit fit the next time you hear someone throwing a costume contest under Atlas say “no powers.”

• Stand in the AE building and offer your services in Local as a “grief counselor.”

• Spend the first 5 minutes per character watching the “Badge Earned” message flash on the screen over and over and over…

• Just for the heck of it get a chart of what different fuel sources cause fire to burn in what color. Find a good one… like methane burning blue… then find a hero or villain flame thrower who is using blue as their chosen color for the fire. Question the origin of their powers. Especially if their origin is Natural.

• Explain to awed level 50 characters that there are more enemies in the game than Maniacs, instanced maps other than a single city block and that Atlas Park is actually a BEGINNER zone.

• Spend 2 hours agonizing over every little detail for every power you have and may possibly one day choose to have… only to decide you like the defaults better anyway.

• Stand outside BAB’s office and listen to him cackle wildly “You think you can do it better!? Be my @*%(*$% guest!!”

• Stand around eagerly while one of the forum math-gurus figure out exactly how many different heroes/villains can be created without repeating given the new customization possibilities.

• Laugh along with Steelclaw when someone can’t resist actually trying the above suggestion.

• Realize you just wasted 5 minutes of your life reading a stupid list when you could have been on the Training Server pre-screening all your power customization choices!

Well it was worth a chuckle Steelclaw, so I disagree with the last sentence...

Great post!

One of the better Things to do lists i read. Thank you, was worth the read

We need to campaign for a new Day Job, only attainable by standing by standing by the outside doors of AE buildings- "Paragon Tour Guide"!

Awesome as always Steel and well worth the chuckle, hardly a waste of my five minutes