(Fade to Atlas Park, where MaX has a new Level 50, and is giving out influence to newbies.)
Stasis: Oh FG, isn't it wonderful. Doesn't MaX look wonderful with that aura on, even if it is chewing up my frame rate? Just an hour ago, he was a plain old Level 1 Blaster riding defiance, and now he's a Level 50, with more influence than he can handle.
FG:Oh...yes. He's a really lucky guy, he caught a Power-levelling guide on the net before it got taken down.
Stasis Yes.
FG: Everyone knows he'll have a new one by this time next week.
Stasis: Yes, but how does he do it?
FG: Stasis, I've got something to say
(Music starts, to the tune of 'Dammit Janet')
FG: It's really amazing, how MaX...can throw all that influence away.
(FG sings.)
The river was deep and I swam it
-Plan it
He then just jumped over it, dammit
-Plan it
If it's not an Ice Tank then can it
-Plan it
He's got good builds, and Stasis,
I'll build one,
For you too
The road was long and I ran it
-Plan it
He slotted for speed, and overtook me, dammit
-Plan it
If there's a percentage involved then he'll slot it
-Plan it
He's got good builds, and Stasis,
I'll build one,
For you too
Here's a plan to prove,
that I'm kosher,
There's three ways that this build can go,
That's ST, AoE or use Nova
Oh P-L-A-N-I-T,
the way to go.
(Switch to Stasis)
Oh it's nicer than even MaX had
-Go /rad
Now I can PL and I'm so glad
-Go /rad
That it's a Defender and not an Ice Tank
-Go /rad
I've one thing to say,
and that's,
I'll build one,
For you too
Oh FG,
Oh...dammit,
I'm plaaaaaned,
Oh Stasis,
Thanks to yooooou
There's one thing left to do-o-o-o
That's go see the man who began it,
-Plan it
When we went on his boards and then spammed it
-Plan it
You sent me a saucy PM and I panicked
-Plan it
I've got a build to create and that's it,
Stasis,
I planned it for you
Stasis, Plan it
FG, I'm glad
(Both) I, planned, for, yoooooooooou.
[ QUOTE ]
Statesman was there,
with outside underwear,
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
But something was wrong,
the attack chain took too long,
[/ QUOTE ]
Hehehe, .... something tells me I'm going to be keeping an eye on this one. Nicely done Max.
(Switch to an untidy office, with an NCSoft mug in the foreground, and a large bearded man searching through a manual entitled 'How To Deal With Spammers')
Bridger: I would like, if I may, to moderate your journey through this feature.
(He picks out another manual, entitled 'The Crossover Incident')
Bridger: It seemed a fairly ordinary night when FG and Stasis, two young, ordinary players, left for Peregrine Island, to visit Alec, the administrator of the Off-Topic forums, and friend of the both of them. It's true there was server maintenance due, critical, time-consuming maintenance, toward which the server was heading at the allotted time of 8am.
It's true also that they were using many toggles, and had forgotten to slot Stamina, or indeed, for endurance. But they, being normal players, on a night run to gain some prestige, were not going to let pending server maintenance spoil the events of their evening.
It was an RV run, they were going to remember, for a very, very long time.
(Switch to FG and Stasis, running around RV. A super-speeding, non-stealthed Stalker runs past.)
Stasis: Gosh, that's the third one who's run past us tonight. They certainly take their lives in their hands, what with Golden Girl around and all.
FG: Yes Stasis, debt's pretty cheap to that sort of player.
(Arrive at an outpost, already taken by heroes.)
FG: We must have looked at the map wrong.
Stasis: But the Stalker came from here, surely he should have tried to take the outpost?
FG: Hmm..we'll just have to head to another one. Let's teleport there.
(Fizzle)
FG: Dammit, I knew I should have slotted for endurance before we left through Portal Corp! Come on, let's sprint over to Atlas Hall, I think it was still Hero-controlled when we passed it.
Stasis: /em newspaper
(Stasis sings, to the tune of 'Over At The Frankenstein Place')
In the highest level,
zone for PVP,
you can farm,
with all your heaaaaart,
no matter what,
bad build yooooou aaaa-a-a-are.
(Broadcast chorus joins in, camera zooms in to show a Recluse-controlled city hall.)
There's a fight,
-over at the marker-point A,
There's a fight,
-don't let them get away,
There's a fight, a fight,
get the outposts, and everybody dies
(Switch to FloatingFatMan in a window in Atlas Hall looking out)
The heroes must go,
we must see them flee-ing,
a trap we'll sow,
free outpost, they must be dreaming,
there'll be a fight,
there'll be a fi-i-i-ight
(switch back to FG, Stasis and Broadcast chorus)
There's a fight,
-over at the marker-point A,
There's a fight,
-don't let them get away,
There's a fight, a fight,
get the outposts, and everybody dies
...FG sings Im Just a Sweet transsexual...or i kill all *raises sword of pain*
Great going Max!
[ QUOTE ]
...FG sings Im Just a Sweet transsexual...or i kill all *raises sword of pain*
[/ QUOTE ]
Psssst. He's playing the part of Brad. 
Awesome work, Max!
[ QUOTE ]
Dammit, this is genius
*applause*
Whens the rest coming?
[/ QUOTE ]
I'll try to do two or three songs a day, as though the plot is sketched out in my head, rewriting the lyrics so that they (almost) make sense, and are relevant to the game does take a while. 
Glad people like it though. 
well done max..... i made a char called rockey horror.... he wore just yellow pants and offended lots of peeps...
needless to say i deleted him at lvl 5 
[ QUOTE ]
well done max..... i made a char called rockey horror.... he wore just yellow pants and offended lots of peeps...
needless to say i deleted him at lvl 5
[/ QUOTE ]
Dang, they obviously don't respect the Charles Atlas seal of approval.
Bridger: And so it seemed that fortune had smiled on FG and Stasis, and that they had come across Atlas Hall during a time when it might be taken by Heroes or had they?
(Sound of Nova going off, switch to FG and Stasis at front door. FG clicks on the door, a message pops up saying 'Your security level is too low'.)
Stasis: Oh FG, Let's go back, I'm being side-kicked as it is, and I'm frightened.
FG: Just a moment Stasis, they may have a functioning Global Chat inside.
(The door opens to reveal FFM, dressed in a butler's outfit.)
FFM: Hellowie
FG: Hi! I'm FG, Level 47 Blaster, looking for team, and this is my duo-partner, Stasis. We ran out of endurance by the outpost, and was wondering if your Global Chat was working in here?
FFM: You're wet.
Stasis: Yes. Which is weird as there's no weather effects in the game yet.
FFM: I think you'd better both come inside.
(They enter, and head through the hall, which looks different to the normal Atlas Hall, looking a little...villainous perhaps.)
Stasis: Oh FG, I'm frightened. Why is this place like this?
FG: It's probably just a Halloween celebration in Finland, you know MaX is around at crazy times of the day, he's probably a few months out from us as well.
Stasis: (To FFM) Are you...having a party?
FFM: You've arrived at a very special time, the master is holding a large event.
Stasis: Oh...I hope he's got Luck inspirations.
(Zortel appears from out of nowhere.)
Zortel: He's got luck insps! I've got luck insps! We've ALL got luck insps!
(Music starts up, to the tune of 'The Time Warp')
(FFM sings)
It's annoying,
soul-destroying,
slowdown, takes it's toll,
move forward slowly,
hope not very much longer,
I've got to keep control.
(FFM goes to /em dance)
I remember,
doing the Lag Warp,
dreading those moments when,
the stutterness would hit me,
(FFM and Zortel together as they rush towards a set of doors and fling them open)
And the debt would be calling!
(Broadcast chorus joins in.)
Let's do the Lag Warp again!
(Stasis faints, FG gives her an Awaken.)
Let's do the Lag Warp again!
(Quick pan to Bridger in his office, playing Dance Dance Revolution)
It's just a jump to the left
-When you wanted to go ri-i-i-ight
Send a petition
-And wait all ni-i-i-ight
-But it's the rubber-banding,
-That really drives you insa-a-a-ne
Let's do the Lag Warp again!
(Zortel sings.)
It's so treacle-ly,
oh, somebody free me,
so you can't gank me,
no, not at all
In another dimension,
or a lab with inventions,
well stealthed, I see all,
with a bit of a frame skip,
you're into the lag slip,
but still, you play the game
It's a crawling sensation
(FFM sings last line.)
Like you're under sedation!
(Stasis faints again. FG gives her another Awaken.)
Let's do the Lag Warp again!
Let's do the Lag Warp again!
(Bushbaby appears, dressed in a garish outfit and sings)
Well I was sprinting down the street,
just using /em food,
when I was overtaken,
by a level 14 n00b,
well it shook me up,
took me by surprise,
he had slotted for defence,
in his Hover and Fly,
he stared at me,
then asked for team,
he kept on asking,
and I don't know why
(Back to Broadcast chorus.)
Let's do the Lag Warp again!
Let's do the Lag Warp again!
It's just a jump to the left
-When you wanted to go ri-i-i-ight
Send a petition
-And wait all ni-i-i-ight
-But it's the rubber-banding,
-That really drives you insa-a-a-ne
Let's do the Lag Warp again!
Let's do the Lag Warp again!
(Then suddenly, everyone's powers get cancelled out, and they all kneel down to rest.)
OK. Me and Z as Riff Raff and Magenta?
Perfect!
@FloatingFatMan
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Stasis: FG...say something.
FG: Pwned.
(Stasis sighs and rolls her eyes.)
Stasis: FG, please, let's get out of here. I don't want to be stuck in here during server maintenance.
FG: Keep a grip on yourself Stasis.
Stasis: But, it seems so unhealthy here, there's the smell of day-old pizza, and drinks cartons lying around, as though they've been sat in one place doing something, with no regard to the outside world.
FG: It's just a LAN-party Stasis.
Stasis: Well, I want to leave.
FG: We can't go anywhere until we get Global Chat working, and we know it's safe to go outside again.
Stasis: Then ask the butler, or anybody.
FG: Let's wait a while Stasis, we don't want to appear clique-like when we've come into their domain. They're celebrating, let them do so.
Stasis: This isn't the Eurovision Song Contest, FG.
FG: (Black+white flashback to 'The Lag Warp') Are you sure? They may just be foreigners, with playing styles different to our own. They may do some more...friendly banter over broadcast.
Stasis: FG, I'm cold, I'm wet, I'm scared, and I'm not even an Ice Tank.
FG: I'm here, and I'm AR, there's nothing to worry about.
(Stasis sees a cloaked figure arrive behind them and screams.)
(Camera pans to reveal Lord Recluse, in a large cloak, covering everything but his head. He sings, to the tune of 'Sweet Transvestite'.)
How'd you do,
I see you've met my,
lagged-out handyman,
he's a little brought down,
because when you knocked,
he thought you were the GM man
Don't be confused,
by the way I look,
I'm a fighter, not a hider,
not much of a name,
in Paragon City,
but here I'm one hell of a spid-e-e-r
(Throws off cloak to reveal full mechanical spider-armour)
I'm just a sweet tarantula,
from level 50,
Grandville area
Let me show you around,
maybe go for a round,
you both look pretty PvP
Or if you want something light,
not up for a fight,
then I suppose some PvE
(Switch to FG Spoken verse.)
I'm glad we caught you when not under attack,
can we use your Global Chat,
we're both in a bit of a hurry,
we'll just ask for advice,
and go back to the fight,
we don't want to be any worry
(Switch back to Recluse, and zoom camera in to face.)
So you got Malta-sapped,
well how about that,
don't worry it's not a prob,
by the end of the night,
it'll be alright,
you'll be fighting your favourite mob.
I'm just a sweet tarantula,
from level 50,
Grandville area
Why don't you stay for the night,
or maybe a fight,
I could show you my favourite hobby,
I've been making a man,
as part of a plan,
to get rid of players that are stroppy
I'm just a sweet tarantula,
from level 50,
Grandville area
(Lord Recluse Spoken verse.)
So come up to the lab,
and see what's on the slab,
I see you shiver with anticipation,
but an RV raid,
may be to blame,
so I'll remove the cause,
but not the symptom!
(Steps into a lift, which heads upwards.)
max this is brill keep going...
OMG! I laughed so hard i nearly fell off my chair!
Sweet Tarantula! Genius!!!!
Keep it coming Max
[center][IMG]http://img163.imageshack.us/img163/2585/resistancesig3.png[/IMG]
Kalis Elfling - Inv/Axe Tanker. [i]Kevin is watching... Always[/i]
Proud member of [url="http://www.honourableunited.org.uk/"]Honourable United[/url]
@Tellis - I reserve the right to be ridiculous![/center]
Hell, I'm really enjoying this, kudos to you!
It's made my Friday anyways.
Lag-warp is my personal fave, then sweet tarantula.
Sweet. Nay, super-sweet.
Keep em coming.
(Everyone begins heading upstairs, FG and Stasis are sidekicked by FFM and Bushbaby.)
Stasis: FG...?
FG: It's alright Stasis, we'll play along for now, and then unleash our newly-slotted IO's when the time is right.
Bushbaby: You're very lucky to be invited up to Recluse's laboratory, some players would give their account details for the privilege.
FG: People like *you* maybe.
Bushbaby: *I've* seen it, before anybody else on the Test Server no less.
(FG, Stasis, FFM, and Bushbaby all crowd into the lift.)
Stasis: Is Recluse your SG leader?
FFM: The master is not yet in a supergroup, nor do I think he ever will be.
(The lift arrives at a lab-tile map.)
Recluse: FFM, Bushbaby, go and assist Zortel. I'll entertain our...guests...
FG: Hi, I'm FG, and I'm with stupid.
Stasis: Stasis.
FG: Stasis.
Recluse: It's not often we have visitors here, what with Atlas Hall being non enter-able normally in RV, let alone offer them hospitality.
FG: Hospitality? All we wanted was to use your Global Chat! A reasonable request, which you have chosen to ignore!
Recluse: Oh what an angry tone of voice you have FG, a perfect specimen of Broadcast chat.
FFM: Everything is ready master. We merely await your specialised keybind.
(Lord Recluse turns to the assembled villains.)
Recluse: Tonight, my non-playing players, you are to witness a breakthrough in 'Rez Plz' technology, and PvP supremacy is to be mine!
It was strange the way it happened. One of those quirks of fate whilst hunting for Giant Monsters, you seem irredeemably lost, unsure of where to go, there's no sign of them, and then suddenly, they spawn on top of you! What a sucker you've been, what a fool. The GM was there all the time. It took a small accident to make it happen, an accident!
That's how I discovered the exploit, that elusive twisting of the game code, that keybind, that rezzes players without being a heal0r!
You see, FG and Stasis, you are fortunate, for tonight is the night my beautiful creature of PvP uberness is to be born!
(Lights start flashing, various auras are toggled on, and Recluse walks over to a tank covered by cloth. Zortel and Bushbaby remove the cloth to reveal a bandaged figure inside.)
Stasis: (/tell)Is that costume piece in-game yet?
(There is a loud fizzling sound, and Recluse uses a rez-power on the bandaged figure, who floats up in the air, and comes back down stunned. It removes it's bandages to reveal the face of Xanthus, who begins to sing, to the tune of 'Sword of Damocles'.)
The name of my character is hanging,
over my heeead,
I've got an urge to make sure,
that everyone in RV is to stay deeead.
Go on, Nova me,
my HP goes to infinity,
oh can't you see,
that I'm at the start of a pretty big owning.
I logged in this morning,
and I started to flame a threeeead
-That ain't no crime
Tried to get three people a warning,
got a three-day banning instead
-That ain't no crime
My high is your low,
no forums, in game I go,
and all I know,
is that I'm at the start of a pretty big owning
-Sha la la la la
-That ain't no crime
S-Os S-Os
-Sha la la la la
-That ain't no crime
I-Os I-Os
The name of my character,
is hanging over my head,
-That ain't no crime
and I've got a feeling,
I should be derailing a thread
-That ain't no crime
Oh, woe to you,
I'm gonna own you too,
oh can't you see,
that I'm at the start of some very big rep points
-Sha la la la la
-That ain't no crime
S-Os S-Os
-Sha la la la la
-That ain't no crime
I-Os I-Os
-Sha la la la la
-That ain't no crime
Oh Hami-os
-Sha la la la la
-That ain't no crime
I-Os I-Os
ALL: Sha la la
(Recluse stands and admires Xanthus.)
Recluse: Isn't he just the perfect specimen of PvP greatness? I just love success.
FFM: He is a credit to your l33t-skillz sir.
Recluse: Yes.
Zortel: A triumph of your villainy.
Recluse: Yes.
Bushbaby: I bet he'll TK.
Recluse: TK!? I think that he can do better than that!
(Drags Xanthus over to FG and Stasis.)
Recluse: (To Stasis) What do you think?
Stasis: Well, I don't like a man with *too* many toggles.
Recluse: I didn't rez him FOR YOU. He carries the Siren's Call seal of approval, and he didn't even have to fight there.
(Recluse sings, to the tune of 'In Just Seven Days')
(FFM and Zortel bring out an Inventions worktable)
A player, playing,
ninety-eight hours,
will get sand in his face,
unless he uses his powers,
and so in the zone,
his skills he must hone,
he'll start server wars,
as he fights for my ca-au-ause.
(Xanthus begins to tentatively create an IO.)
Can't make him listen,
or team,
and with slotting,
no need for exploits or,
che-e-e-ats,
he'll be stealthed,
and not se-e-e-en.
He'll be a strong man,
oh honey,
PvP man.
(Xanthus begins slotting his newly crafted enhancements.)
He'll be slotted for damage,
and of course, endurance,
and some accuracy,
just for insurance.
It's no effort,
for my master-plan,
in just seven days,
you'll be blasted by Xa-a-a-an
He'll do Siren's, and Warburg,
he won't talk like a jerk,
he thinks chatting on Arena,
is just too much hard work.
Such strenuous living,
to carry out my plan,
so that in just seven days,
you'll be blasted by Xa-a-a-an.
(The sound of an incoming teleport is heard, and yes, the sound of a motorbike.)
"I don't like a man with *too* many toggles"
Brilliant
(A male player dressed in bike leathers teleports in on what looks like the Batcycle, but isn't, for legal reasons.)
Bushbaby: Aardy!
Myopic Aardvark: Stay cool baby.
(Aardy sings, to tune of 'Whatever Happened To Saturday Night')
Whatever happened to forum time?
When you posted a point,
and it felt alright,
it don't seem the same since people who whine,
came into my life and sent me outta my mind.
(Bushbaby jumps onto the pillion seat.)
I used to post in a load of topics,
now I can't cos, they're too stroppy,
can't even read what they say cause spelling's sloppy,
so we went for a movie,
and we had a really good ti-i-ime.
(Broadcast, Z and FFM, and Aardy and Bushbaby go into /em dance)
Don't get mad,
I'm on a roll,
I really hate those forum trolls (x4)
(Recluse looks angry, pushes Xanthus into the lift and closes it.)
When I was a newbie,
about level twelve,
I was playing in the Hollows,
and it was hell,
I got a random invite,
through a yellow /tell,
looked at mission on the map,
it was on the other si-i-i-de.
Put my level six tra-
-vel power on,
then I started running,
that's where it wrong,
came across a Troll Smasher,
it was very strong,
called for help, and then I died,
as everyone was on Frostfire's ice sli-i-i-ide.
(Aardy lifts Bushbaby off pillion, starts up Batcycle, and begins racing around the lab.)
Uber tanker,
I'm gonna roll,
to get rid of those Hollows trolls (x4)
( 4-bar saxophone solo.)
I know it's hard to believe,
I really hate all forms of troll (x8)
(Aardy stops batcycle. Recluse walks up, and whacks him with a ruddy big broadsword, until he KOs. Bushbaby screams until the broadsword stops thwacking him.)
(Xanthus begins thumping on the lift door. Recluse walks over and lets him out.)
Recluse: Don't worry, it was a mercy killing. He had a certain naïve charm, but a poor choice in driveable vehicle.
Stasis: (/tell FG) They're not in game yet either are they?
Recluse: I shall 'arrest' all who dare disobey my rules on PvP greatness! Except you of course Xanthus, you're far too good to be wasted like that.
(Xanthus toggles on every shield and aura he has. Recluse gasps, then sings, to the tune of the reprise of 'In Just Seven Days'.)
Build a control-
-ler, a blaster,
show them all you're,
the PvP master,
makes me ooh-shake,
makes me want,
to take over the whole wide land,
in just seven days,
you'll be blasted by Xa-a-a-an.
I don't want no infamy,
don't go farming for prestige,
(Stasis) -I'm a toggle fa-an.
In just seven days,
you'll be blasted by Xa-a-a-an.
In just seven days,
you'll be blasted by Xa-a-a-an.
(FFM presses a button, and one of the walls slides open to reveal an an arena PVP-instance, into which Recluse and Xanthus go, with all their toggles on. Screen-wipe to NCSoft office, with Bridger reading a book.)
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Bridger: There are some who say that Paragon City is an illusion, and that City of Heroes is simply a figment of Jack Emmert's imagination. If this is so, then FG and Stasis are quite safe. However, the sudden departure of their host and his creation to train for PvP dominance had left them feeling both apprehensive and uneasy. A feeling which grew as the other guests departed, and they were shown to their separate Player Apartments.
Rockjaw: Hang on a sec, those aren't in game yet are they?
(Screen-wipe to FG and Stasis being shown in to said apartments. They each go to the bed and lay down.)
(FFM and Zortel use Spectator mode to watch them going to sleep, before laughing, and heading off.)
(Stasis's room, red camera filter. Lights are out)
*KNOCK KNOCK*
Stasis: Who's there?
FG: Ben
Stasis: Ben who?
FG: Bend over!
Stasis: Oh FG, come in. I'm still on my normal costume slot.
FG: I've come up with a new way of slotting our powers, so that we can get out of this crazy place, and a build to go with it!
Stasis: Really, how?
FG: We use this build of an Ice Tank I have here...
Stasis: Wait a second...
(Turns on the light, to reveal Recluse with a printed-out Hero Builder sheet.)
Stasis: YOU!
Recluse: Yes Stasis, now come on, the build isn't *that* bad. I think you liked it really.
Stasis: I couldn't...I wouldn't...not an Ice Tank. FG would never forgive me.
Recluse: Oh, FG never needs to find out.
Stasis: Promise you won't tell?
Recluse: Cross my heart and hope to die, with all eight of my arms.
(Switch back to laboratory, where FFM and Zortel are cleaning up after Aardy's bike-ride.)
(Zortel nods over at the arena-instance. FFM smiles and wanders over quietly, activating Stealth as he does so. He sneaks up behind Xanthus, who is resting, and does an Assassin Strike on him, leaving Xantus with one HP.)
(Xanthus yells, and Superspeeds away.)
(Switch to FG's room, blue camera filter. Lights are out.)
*KNOCK KNOCK*
FG: Who's there?
Stasis: Stase.
FG: Stase who?
Stasis: Stay sitting down, I'm coming in.
FG: Wait a second...Stasis doesn't make bad jokes like me, she makes dirty ones!
(Switches on light, to reveal Recluse.)
FG: You!
Recluse: Yes, it's me. You had to go and ruin all the fun, didn't you? I came here to show you a build, which I think you'll like.
FG: A Defiance-riding blaster? I wouldn't, I couldn't. I-
Recluse: Oh FG, do be quiet. You know you like the idea of riding with danger.
FG: Promise you won't tell Louise?
Recluse: If I had a mother, I'd swear on her grave.
(Lights flash, and FFM's voice can be heard.)
FFM: Master, Xanthus has left the instance, and is loose within RV, Zortel has released the Archnobots.
Recluse: *sigh* Coming!
(Switch to shot of Xanthus being comically chased by Arachnobots, struggling to keep his shields on.)
(Stasis is lying on the bed in a dramatic pose as sirens go off.)
Stasis: What's happening here? Where's FG? Where's anybody? If only we hadn't made this RV run, if only we hadn't run out of endurance, if only we were amongst friends or sane persons!
(Switch to NCSoft office, with Bridger leaning back on his chair, looking cool and considerate.)
Bridger: 'If' and 'Only', two very small words. Words which kept repeating themselves in Stasis's thoughts. But it was too late to go back now. It was if she was riding a large Defiance wave, it would be folly to fight against it. Her only chance would be to ride it out, adapt, and hope she didn't faceplant.
(Switch back to lab, where Stasis is looking around. She goes to the Spectator Mode terminal, and sees Recluse giving FG the build advice for the Defiance-riding blaster.)
Stasis: Oh FG, how could you!
(There is a soft grunt from the tank. Stasis goes over to investigate, and finds Xanthus, with low HP.)
Stasis: Oh, you're hurt! Let me help!
(She gives Xanthus some green insps. A sly grin appears on her face. Switch back to Bridger.)
Bridger: The need for success. It is an irrational and powerful master, and from what Stasis had seen on the Spectator Mode panel, there seemed to be little doubt that she was indeed it's slave.
(Switch quickly to Zortel and Bushbaby's room.)
Together: Tell us about it, Stasis.
(Stasis sings, to tune of 'Toucha-Toucha-Toucha Touch Me')
I was feeling done in,
couldn't win,
only levelled normally before.
Bushbaby: You mean she..?
Zortel: Mhmm.
I thought there was no use getting,
into heavy Drecking,
it only leads to trouble,
and debt-getting.
Now all I want to know,
is to slot IOs,
I've tasted blood and I want more.
Together: More, more, more.
I need damage resistance,
speed to run the distance,
I've got new clothes to buy,
please give me influence.
P-P-P-PL me,
I want to fight dirty,
train me so they won't kill me,
I'm only level thirty five.
Then as my levels grow,
thanks to SO-o-os,
I'll sidekick up,
you exemplar down.
Together: Down, down down.
At the Faultline fracture,
and Terra Volta reactor,
then we'll go farming,
Paragon Protectors.
P-P-P-PL me,
I want to fight dirty,
train me so they won't kill me,
I'm only level thirty five.
(Bushbaby) P-P-P-PL me
(Zortel) I want to fight dirty
(Bushbaby) Train me so they won't kill me
(Zortel) I'm only level thirty five.
(Stasis)
P-P-P-PL me,
I want to fight dirty,
train me so they won't kill me,
I'm only level thirty five.
(Xanthus) Level thirty-five
(FG) Level thirty five?
(Recluse) Level...thirty five
(Bushbaby) Level thi-i-rty five
(FFM) Level thirty five
(Zortel) Level thirty five (laughs)
(Xanthus) Level thirty five!
(Stasis) Level thirty five! Oh.
*DING*
Stasis: Level thirty six.
Max this is to good...... keep going
Awesome work, Max. LOving the version of Toucha-toucha-touch me.
(To keep the post to a reasonable length, I've left this post just a talky part.)
(The lift arrives at the lab floor, Stasis and Xanthus hide in the tank, as Recluse, FG and FFM come out of the lift. FFM rushes forward as he is struck by a whip Recluse is holding.)
Stasis: (/tell Xanthus) Those aren't in game yet, are they?
FFM: Aagh! Mercy master!
Recluse: How did it happen, I understand you were supposed to be spectating!
FFM: I was only away for a minute master, I needed a snack break.
Recluse: Well, see if you can find him on the Spectator screen.
(FFM uses the screen, which shows a tall guy with a black trenchcoat and a duster-hat on.)
FFM: Master, we have a visitor.
FG: Great scott! That's Sco---oh wait, no. It's just Alec.
FFM: You know this Issue 9 throwback...I mean, current and up-to-date player?
FG: I most certainly do. He happens to run the forums I post nonsense on.
Recluse: I see. So this wasn't simply a chance meeting. You came here with a purpose.
FG: I told you, we ran out of endurance. I'm telling the truth.
(On the monitor, Alec looks very shifty.)
Recluse: I know what you said, but this Alec, also known as _Max_ is not unknown to me.
FG: He's the Admin of the Off-Topic forums, which are in no way officially affiliated with the Official NCSoft Forums.
Recluse: He's also an agent for...LONGBOW! Isn't that right?
FG: Well, he might be. He does faceplant a lot.
Recluse: Well, he should be in the Plan Room.
(Alec is indeed in a room filled with Character Plans and Builds. Recluse throws a switch saying 'ED Removal'.)
Alec: (Looks up suddenly.) Full use of six-slotting!?
(Alec superspeeds through corridors, rooms and doors, until he runs slap bang into the Spectator Mode machine, with a load crash.)
FG: Alec!
Alec: FG? What are you doing here?
Recluse: Don't play games Alec. Unless it's CoH/V. You know very well what FG's doing here. It was part of your plan was it not, that he and his female duo partner, should scope the layout for you. Well, unfortunately for you, there's a change of plans. I'm sure you're adaptable, I know FG is.
Alec: I can assure you that FG's presence comes as a complete surprise to me. I came to find Aardy.
FG: Aardy? I've seen him he's...
Recluse: Aardy? What do you know about Aardy?
Alec: Well, not a lot. But he happens to run the Half-Life 2 DM server I play on!
FG: Alec!
(There is a stifled cry from the tank. Recluse strides over, and pulls the cover off to reveal Stasis and Xanthus.)
Alec: Stasis!
Stasis: Alec!
FG: Stasis!
Recluse: Xanthus!
Xanthus: *grunt*
FG: Alec!
Alec: Stasis!
Stasis: Alec!
FG: Stasis!
Recluse: Xanthus!
Xanthus: *grunt*
Recluse: Don't get shirty with me. I made you, and I can break you just as easily!
*Gong is sounded.*
Zortel: Dinner is served!
Recluse: Excellent. (Looks at Stasis.) Under the circumstances, first-slot costumes are optional.
(Recluse heads off to the lift. Switch to Bridger.)
Bridger: Food has always played a large part in life's rituals. The cafe scene in Reservoir Dogs, the pie eating contest in Stand By Me, the dog's meal that was Highlander 2, and now, this meal. However informal it might appear, you can be sure there was to be very little 'bonhomie', as nobody there could speak French that well.
Inspired by the mad thought of the upcoming movie being a musical, I have started work on a 'script' for the CoH movie, based on the Rocky Horror Picture Show. It stars some of the community that I know personally, as it's obviously a lot easier to write for them than someone everyone else thinks should fill a spot, but I have no idea what they're like.
And thus, the opening sequence. (To the tune of 'Science Fiction Double Feature')
( A pair of lips appear in blackness, wearing a trenchcoat and wings somehow.)
Hero 1 left town,
the day the fighting went down,
but he showed us where we stand.
Statesman was there,
with outside underwear,
Synapse was a very fast man.
But something was wrong,
the attack chain took too long,
and they got caught in Hamidon's jam.
Then at a laggy pace,
it came from the unreleased outer space,
and then the game proper began.
Rikti spaceship,
in Atlas Park,
roll defenders,
make them /dark,
see robots fighting,
level thirties,
don't follow orders,
leader gets shirty,
Hami-o-o-o-o-o,
at the late night, nothing on TV, hero show.
MaX came up with a build,
that gave his tank a chill,
and started off in Galaxy City.
And it really got hot,
when he got shot,
by a Fire Blaster played by Quilty.
Z's build was faulty,
so she got alty,
and built an undead girl that was pretty.
Then FG logged in,
said "For The Win",
and everyone thought that was witty,
Like a,
Rikti spaceship,
in Atlas Park,
roll defenders,
make them /dark,
see robots fighting,
level thirties,
don't follow orders,
leader gets shirty,
Hami-o-o-o-o-o,
at the late night, nothing on TV, hero show.
Snack break, I gotta go,
from the late night, nothing on TV, hero show,
by Cryptic Studio-o-o-os
the late night, nothing on TV, hero show,
hey, where'd he go?,
from the late night, nothing on TV, hero show.