The Unofficial Official Lowbie MA Review Thread!
By
BadJuJu,
Posted on: 2009-05-11 15:05 in Mission Architect
Thanks for the feedback and reviews 
Go nuts with my new arc, it caps at 14 and has a custom boss that isn't insane.
Arc Name:A Death in the Gish
Arc ID: 168760
Faction: Skulls, Vahzilok
Creator Global/Forum Name: Neuronia/@Neuronia
Difficulty Level: Easy
Synopsis: A lowbie mission arc about Kings Row. Caps at level 14.
Estimated Time to Play: 10-15 minutes
Link to More Details or Feedback: Just PM me or global me.
Send me feedback ingame and I'll look at one of yours if you would like.
Questions about the game, either side? /t @Neuronia or @Neuronium, with your queries!
168760: A Death in the Gish. 3 missions, 1-14. Easy to solo.
Infinity Villains
Champion, Pinnacle, Virtue Heroes
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Heheh, you KNOW that snooping in the other kids' stuff is NOT a required objective for the mission ... yet you still did it. *evil grin*
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Heh, good point. 
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No worries. I originally figured that snoopy players would look in the lockers to see what the other kids had, while some players might decide it would be "wrong" for them to rummage through them, so I wanted to make the mission completable either way. I tried to add clicky messages and dialog to make the player feel a little guilty if they get all snoopy, too.
So far every person I've talked to that went through the mission has looked inside them though.
And regarding how the mobs in that mission are spawned, it's a little bit of trickery where each encounter is triggered off the previous one. It's not too hard to do, but took a little bit of tuning to make it work the way I wanted.
Thanks much for the play-through and the review!!
@PW - Police Woman (50 AR/dev blaster on Liberty)
TALOS - PW war journal - alternate contact tree using MA story arcs
=VICE= "Give me Liberty, or give me debt!"
Dream Paper (1874) and Bricked Electronics (2180) are both intended to be lowbie-manageable - at least, I've managed them on lowbies.
But, y'know, Lost and Tsoo, so YMMV.
Up with the overworld! Up with exploration! | Want a review of your arc?
My arcs: Dream Paper (ID: 1874) | Bricked Electronics (ID: 2180) | The Bravuran Jobs (ID: 5073) | Backwards Day (ID: 329000) | Operation Fair Trade (ID: 391172)
Just a short note to say that real life is intruding and I'm hard on work on a new MA, so I won't be getting to any reviews today. Thank you for your patience!
My Arcs: A Spider on the Column (117024)--updated/fixed bugs/small story modifications
Hub (87439)--updated/fixed
Both the ones in my signature are suitable for lowbies, though MAGI will be getting a revamp in the next few weeks. (It's not bad, it's just that it was my first arc, and it shows.)
#2409 - The Mystery of the MAGI vaults. Azuria has contacted you to help her stop the thefts from the MAGI vaults.
#68054 - Out of the gutters. Left for dead, you swore that you were through with being a victim (alt villain beginning story)
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Both the ones in my signature are suitable for lowbies, though MAGI will be getting a revamp in the next few weeks. (It's not bad, it's just that it was my first arc, and it shows.)
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I played the MAGI one when it first came out. I liked it, but don't remember what rating I gave you.
The other one sounds interesting and I will get around to...eventually.
My Arcs: A Spider on the Column (117024)--updated/fixed bugs/small story modifications
Hub (87439)--updated/fixed
I'd like to add an arc to your queue, when you get around to playing it:
Arc 10171 - "Cutthroat Competition"
Intended for villains between level 15 and 20.
Synopsis: A routine collection for the Facemaker swiftly escalates into all-out war with another faction over harvest rights to the limited resource pool of innocent victims.
This mission is intended to be solo-friendly, with a couple of allies to help with the climactic final mission.
Arc: Trollbane
ID: 106553
Written by: @Wall of Knight
Heh, BaB is a contact. I find that amusing for some reason.
Mission 1: I like the text that pops up after you destroy a Dyne lab. I like the various battle dialogues. Not much to say about this mission, though. Its pretty straightforward and the battles and clues are good.
Mission 2: Isnt this more the Hellions thing (magic) than the Skulls? It doesnt really matter, just wondering. I like the concept of the superballtoo bad theres no visual fx to go along with it. 
That boss is nasty. Im noticing /psi is a popular element in custom bosses, lol. I like the bio you gave him.
Mission 3: Fill me inwhos Ms. L? I also like the historical context that BaB gives you; it improves the story arc a great deal so that I had a better understanding of where things were.
The CoT arent my favorite thing to go up against, especially the mages, but at least theyre not ruin mages.
Im grateful for the assistance, but the Longbow has Lady Grey/Fusionette syndrome, if you know what I mean.
I like the boss, hes creepy. I was feeling as though the previous two missions were a little lackluster for some reason, but this spices things up.
Mission 4: Can I tell you something? I have a pet peeve about outdoors, especially hunt and find maps where it could be ANYWHERE. Luckily, I heard the boss and found herand got wiped out thanks to confuse, lol. A few lucks and breakfrees and no problem on the second try. She did manage to make me feel a little bad for her. 
Mission 5: Ok. I do like the way the plot comes together in the end, but I dont know. I get the Skulls and CoTs motives, but I still dont really get what the Trolls have to do with this, other than the Hollows connection and the fact that they want revenge due to the Skulls massacre.. The spirits or whatever doesnt like the trolls, I get that, but Im not getting exactly WHY. This mission goes a little way in the way of an explanation, but maybe a little better explanation of their motives earlier in the story would help? Or Im just dense and not getting it, either way.
To be fair, you DID warn me, but The Lady cannot be properly soloed; at least not without lots of breakfrees and even through that, she can spam holds. You might want to reduce her difficulty, if its not at the lowest level already. If it IS at the lowest level, then okay. Not a very big deal, nothing inspirations cant solve anyways.
The arcs ending is a bit of a feel-good but a downer. And I didnt realize these NPCs were actually in the game, just goes to show you how oblivious I am, heh.
Solo-ability: 3 1/2 out of 5. One Boss in particular is extremely hard and you WILL need lucks and breakfrees.
Overall, I liked this story, although I think the Trolls' part in it could stand to have a little more story behind it. I like the inclusion and the sense of history behind this.
Four stars.
My Arcs: A Spider on the Column (117024)--updated/fixed bugs/small story modifications
Hub (87439)--updated/fixed
I'm glad you enjoyed the arc
Hmm... okies, let me see if I can answer some of your questions (obviously, some of the stuff needs to be emphasized a bit more- a lot of what you asked got answered in BaBs text or the clues, but it was apparently buried).
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That boss is nasty. Im noticing /psi is a popular element in custom bosses, lol. I like the bio you gave him.
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Heh- actually, if you read the monument in Steel (it's one of the Just Said No to Superadyne badge plaques), it mentions him as being psychic. So the powerset was kind of a natural
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Mission 3: Fill me inwhos Ms. L? I also like the historical context that BaB gives you; it improves the story arc a great deal so that I had a better understanding of where things were.
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If by "Ms. L" you mean the Illustrated Woman, well, you got the answer to that later, heh...
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Im grateful for the assistance, but the Longbow has Lady Grey/Fusionette syndrome, if you know what I mean.
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Yeeeah, noticed that. If Lt. Sohmers is a boss, he fares a bit better, but on Heroic, he's 100% lemming. Not sure what, if anything, I can do about that- I may just fake-up a Longbow Spines Scrapper with a custom critter, not sure :/
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Mission 4: Can I tell you something? I have a pet peeve about outdoors, especially hunt and find maps where it could be ANYWHERE.
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I really, really don't blame you. Little secret? I don't like that mission very much either; if I could place the boss so she always spawned in the graveyard, I would in a heartbeat, since that's where I want her anyways (thus the clue >.O). However, it's the best map I've got available, *sigh*
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I get the Skulls and CoTs motives, but I still dont really get what the Trolls have to do with this, other than the Hollows connection and the fact that they want revenge due to the Skulls massacre.. The spirits or whatever doesnt like the trolls, I get that, but Im not getting exactly WHY.
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The answer to those two questions are related- the ghosts got away from the Skulls and went ape-[censored] on the Trolls. The Trolls, being Trolls, reacted. Somebody attacks the Trolls -> the Trolls attack somebody (and the 'dyne lab was too good a target to pass up).
As to why the ghosts don't like the Trolls... well, both were Regulators, and strongly involved in the war on drugs as it involved Superadyne. The Trolls are pretty much the living symbols of 'dyne and its abuse, and, since the spell involved brings ghosts back and binds them as spirits of rage... they vented that rage on they symbol of the thing they hated.
Like I said, I guess I'll expand on that a bit more- I know that the clue mentions them as being spirits of rage, and the Brawler mentions that he that some of his dead teammates had just that kind of anger against 'dyne, but it may need to be clearer.
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To be fair, you DID warn me, but The Lady cannot be properly soloed; at least not without lots of breakfrees and even through that, she can spam holds. You might want to reduce her difficulty, if its not at the lowest level already. If it IS at the lowest level, then okay. Not a very big deal, nothing inspirations cant solve anyways.
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I think she might be on Hard, not sure- I'd have to double check (and honestly, I think she'd actually be worse if I dropped the difficulty, since then she'd just be spamming a handful of attacks... an immobilize, a hold, and a confuse >.O).
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Overall, I liked this story, although I think the Trolls' part in it could stand to have a little more story behind it.
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Hmm... problem is, the Trolls don't really have that much reason for being there- they're hyperaggressive idiots in the first couple of missions, then victims for the others. Hrm. Once again, something to think about.
Thanks for the run and the review!
"A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head." Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates
MA Arcs: #12285, "Small Fears", #106553, "Trollbane", #12669, "How to Survive a Robot Uprising"
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I'm glad you enjoyed the arc
Hmm... okies, let me see if I can answer some of your questions (obviously, some of the stuff needs to be emphasized a bit more- a lot of what you asked got answered in BaBs text or the clues, but it was apparently buried).
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Ah, there's the problem. I'm a speed-reader by nature. I know, I know, bad habit.
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Heh- actually, if you read the monument in Steel (it's one of the Just Said No to Superadyne badge plaques), it mentions him as being psychic. So the powerset was kind of a natural
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Heh, I haven't read the plaques in a long time.
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I may just fake-up a Longbow Spines Scrapper with a custom critter, not sure :/
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I don't think that's necessary. It does make sense for the Longbow to be there.
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I really, really don't blame you. Little secret? I don't like that mission very much either; if I could place the boss so she always spawned in the graveyard, I would in a heartbeat, since that's where I want her anyways (thus the clue >.O). However, it's the best map I've got available, *sigh*
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Perfectly understandable. At least it's not the OTHER map, the one with the parking garage. That one I REALLY hate.
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The answer to those two questions are related- the ghosts got away from the Skulls and went ape-[censored] on the Trolls. The Trolls, being Trolls, reacted. Somebody attacks the Trolls -> the Trolls attack somebody (and the 'dyne lab was too good a target to pass up).
As to why the ghosts don't like the Trolls... well, both were Regulators, and strongly involved in the war on drugs as it involved Superadyne. The Trolls are pretty much the living symbols of 'dyne and its abuse, and, since the spell involved brings ghosts back and binds them as spirits of rage... they vented that rage on they symbol of the thing they hated.
Thanks for the run and the review!
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I guess that makes sense and you're welcome!
My next review will be Justice Blues'. And then tomorrow, I'll get to TheHendle and, if possible, TheFoundBoy's.
My Arcs: A Spider on the Column (117024)--updated/fixed bugs/small story modifications
Hub (87439)--updated/fixed
Arc: Future Skulls
ID: 4727
Arc: Simple Times
ID: 70801
Written by: @Justice Blues
Im doing a two-in-one, since theyre part of the same storyline, so without further ado:
--Part One--
Mission 1: Mirror Spirit does an excellent job of setting things up for you. Likewise, the first mission does a good job of setting things up. No complaints.
Mission 2: Heh, Im playing with a not so similar theme with my arc (in my sig, the one thats not broken)
I like how youve woven the Coralax in this.
Mission 3: Beat the answers out of him sounds very unlike something that Mirror Spirit would say, to me.
An outdoor map, yay! The angels are
odd, to say the least, heh. (I didnt have a chance to read their bios, they surprised me with an attack)
Ok, first of all, I DID NOT KNOW THAT DOOR EXISTED!!! It was only by luck I found it, heh. I was running around aimlessly, having no idea what to look for. I know Mirror Spirit is meant to be vague, but she/you could be a little more explicit in your directionsindicate that Im looking for a hostage or a clickie. Little did I know it was
something else. You made it sound so innocent, lol.
The custom Skulls are good, giving me a bit of a scare, but nothing too rough. Good job.
Mission 4: Thank you for setting an acceptable time limit
butand Im sure you know whats coming*insert very sad face here*
The hostages are interesting choices and despite the map, I think its the perfect setting for this sort of mission.
Solo-ability: Surprisingly easy, given how tough some of these Bone Daddies may be. I would even venture to say it might be too easy, but I wont. 5 out of 5.
I really enjoyed this arc, even though there outdoor maps. I find it curious that the angels appeared for only one mission and there was no mention of them ever again. That merited a four and half stars for me, but since we cant rate half-stars, I went ahead and gave you
Five stars
--Part Two
Mission 1: Im always a fan of putting villain groups outside of their normal settings.
Okay, the Seeker refers to the player as $name and $heshe. You need to change that.
Mission 2: At the end, Talshak says I will have to spend more spells, perhaps cast is a better word instead of spend?
Mission 3: Can I just say this storyline is maddeningly vague? At least with Mirror Spirit, you had a sense of direction. I feel as though Im being sent on a wild goose chase by Talshak to find something which I know nothing about, other than it will summon something.
After youre finished with the clickie, it says you have emptied the last box. That sentence structure doesnt really work for me. Since the search comes up empty, you might want to say something indicating that. Just a suggestion.
Mission 5: Finally, we come to the end of the wild goose chase and Im glad you at least acknowledge that it IS a wild-goose-chase. Im unsure if this should happen sooner, in mission four or its fine as it is now. It depends on the players endurance, I suppose.
Also, I was beginning to wonder if this had anything in common with Future Spirits, since you clearly billed it as a sequel. Its a little daunting that the reveal comes at the last mission. But I dont see any other way you can insert it earlier without giving away your hand so that puts both of us in a dilemma, I suppose, heh.
Talshaks wrap-up at the ending is satisfactoryit clears up any lingering questions I had and its a good teaser hinting that there might be more to come.
Solo-ability: Minions of Ingenious are really rough due to their pellet attacks and knockdown/knockbacks. Otherwise, not too bad. Four out of five.
This story, I felt, lacked focus. All it was essentially was a wild-goose-chase that resulted in a lot of non-answers up until the very end. That leaves one feeling a little frustrated. Remember, again, this is only my opinion.
Three stars.
My Arcs: A Spider on the Column (117024)--updated/fixed bugs/small story modifications
Hub (87439)--updated/fixed
Arc: Go. Hunt. Kill Skuls.
ID: 158877
Written by: @tahlana
Mission 1: I knew the lore going in. The lore is famous--or is it infamous? Nevertheless, I chuckled as I read what was going to happen to me because I knew what was already going to happen. Theres a thing such as being too predictable--and then theres the other predictable: where you know what will happen, but youre pleasantly surprised anyway. This falls into the latter category.
I was lmao at the NPCs. You did a great job capturing
well, the other side of CoH. And then you got me again with the Lt. Just brilliant.
Solo-ability: Please. 5 out of 5.
A clever, playful arc that makes fun of CoH "lore" without insulting it.
Five stars.
My Arcs: A Spider on the Column (117024)--updated/fixed bugs/small story modifications
Hub (87439)--updated/fixed
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Arc: Future Skulls
Mission 3: Beat the answers out of him sounds very unlike something that Mirror Spirit would say, to me.
An outdoor map, yay! The angels are
odd, to say the least, heh. (I didnt have a chance to read their bios, they surprised me with an attack)
Ok, first of all, I DID NOT KNOW THAT DOOR EXISTED!!! It was only by luck I found it, heh. I was running around aimlessly, having no idea what to look for. I know Mirror Spirit is meant to be vague, but she/you could be a little more explicit in your directionsindicate that Im looking for a hostage or a clickie. Little did I know it was
something else. You made it sound so innocent, lol.
The custom Skulls are good, giving me a bit of a scare, but nothing too rough. Good job.
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Well, she was sending you after nasty Skulls in the future that have, at the least destroyed the city, and possibly the planet. She didn't figure you would be able to sit down to tea with them.
You should have seen the 3rd mission before I found that map. Much worse outdoor map, really. But it should have been clear you needed to at least find the Bride.
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Mission 4: Thank you for setting an acceptable time limit
butand Im sure you know whats coming*insert very sad face here*
The hostages are interesting choices and despite the map, I think its the perfect setting for this sort of mission.
Solo-ability: Surprisingly easy, given how tough some of these Bone Daddies may be. I would even venture to say it might be too easy, but I wont. 5 out of 5.
I really enjoyed this arc, even though there outdoor maps. I find it curious that the angels appeared for only one mission and there was no mention of them ever again. That merited a four and half stars for me, but since we cant rate half-stars, I went ahead and gave you
Five stars
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Thanks. The angels have other appearances later, although space has forced changes in my original plans. So for a while, they will be more enigmatic then they were supposed to be.
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--Part Two
Mission 1: Im always a fan of putting villain groups outside of their normal settings.
Okay, the Seeker refers to the player as $name and $heshe. You need to change that.
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Nothing I can do about that. It is a glitch with how far away you are when the speech is activated. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I can take it out, but that would take away from the idea that they are expecting that specific hero.
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Mission 2: At the end, Talshak says I will have to spend more spells, perhaps cast is a better word instead of spend?
Mission 3: Can I just say this storyline is maddeningly vague? At least with Mirror Spirit, you had a sense of direction. I feel as though Im being sent on a wild goose chase by Talshak to find something which I know nothing about, other than it will summon something.
After youre finished with the clickie, it says you have emptied the last box. That sentence structure doesnt really work for me. Since the search comes up empty, you might want to say something indicating that. Just a suggestion.
Mission 5: Finally, we come to the end of the wild goose chase and Im glad you at least acknowledge that it IS a wild-goose-chase. Im unsure if this should happen sooner, in mission four or its fine as it is now. It depends on the players endurance, I suppose.
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While the story is somewhat vague, and even frustrating, Talshak is in the same boat. At least you are discovering things together and it isn't a case of being manipulated by an all knowing contact. You are looking for clues about something that neither of you have any idea existed.
I could probably stop the trail one one mission earlier, but that would only be the second you are actually looking for the MacGuffin. It feels a little too short for what it is supposed to be.
I will check the clue, I am not sure what I meant to have happening there. It may be something from things I had to remove for size.
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Also, I was beginning to wonder if this had anything in common with Future Spirits, since you clearly billed it as a sequel. Its a little daunting that the reveal comes at the last mission. But I dont see any other way you can insert it earlier without giving away your hand so that puts both of us in a dilemma, I suppose, heh.
Talshaks wrap-up at the ending is satisfactoryit clears up any lingering questions I had and its a good teaser hinting that there might be more to come.
Solo-ability: Minions of Ingenious are really rough due to their pellet attacks and knockdown/knockbacks. Otherwise, not too bad. Four out of five.
This story, I felt, lacked focus. All it was essentially was a wild-goose-chase that resulted in a lot of non-answers up until the very end. That leaves one feeling a little frustrated. Remember, again, this is only my opinion.
Three stars.
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I realized the structure can cause frustration. There were a few things I wanted in the missions to try and relieve that somewhat, but I am right up to the edge on the size of the arc. I did try to answer all the unanswered questions at the end, leaving people with those after the run-around in the middle 3 missions would have been very bad. And a good way to get zero stars.
I wanted this to progress the story from Future Skulls, but at the same time it needed to be accessible to people that haven't played that arc. Which meant coming from a different direction, with a stand alone story, but tying into that arc. The third arc, which I am polishing now, is even harder, since I want it to be open for people that have played none, one, or both, of the other arcs.
The good news, in the third arc, no outdoor maps.
Thanks for taking the time to run them and the feedback. I will let you know when I figure out what is missing in the third one and get it published.
Justice Blues, Tech/Tank, Inv/SS
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Fighting The Future Trilogy
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Nice thread, you are right, it's hard to find low level arcs. Here is my attempt at one:
Arc Name: Forever Lost
Arc ID: 135563
Morality: Heroic
Level Range: 5-29
Difficulty Level: Easy to Medium (each mission contains 2 or 3 bosses, would recommend heroic play for squshier ATs)
Creator: @Starsman
Synopsis: Sgt. Suzanne Bernhard's daughter has been "recruited" by the Lost, now she needs help to get her back before they transform her into an abomination. All missions contain 2 or 3 bosses, these can be easily downgraded to lts by changing your difficulty to Heroic.
I suppose that's true about Mirror Spirit--she just struck me as a "zen" kind of person, that's all.
Regarding the $ thing, that's something I didn't know. Perfectly understandable--I won't hold something you have no control over against you! It didn't even factor in my grading system anyway.
As for the second MA, maybe you don't have to sacrifice story length--just add something more substative, some kind of "hook" eariler in the story, around the second or third part. But these are just my own personal opinions, of course.
Good luck in your future stories--I look forward to it!
My Arcs: A Spider on the Column (117024)--updated/fixed bugs/small story modifications
Hub (87439)--updated/fixed
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Arc: Time Loop
ID: 137561
Written by: @Bubbawheat
Ooh, Foreshadow's the contact. This is a guy who we pretty much know nothing about, so what does he have planned?
Mission 1: Hmm. I know the morality is neutrality and that the Wyern are "rogues" but the (in a rp sense) "hero" part of me feels a little unsettled by this. (I'm not saying you have to change the morality, nothing like that. I think neutrality is a good choice so far)
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Updated the feel of the Wyvern slightly. They're still the enemies, but they're a little less shifty.
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The mission completed rather suddenly--and there's no clue that tells me anything to go on to the next mission. Also when you exit, it says that the player found the device. The NPC dialog beforehand does hint at it and I know you put a message after the LT. was defeated, but maybe a "clue found" as well that states he had it on him or something. Returning to the contact DOES explain things a little better.
Mission 2: Much better now that I know what to expect, but I'd still like to know what the heck he has, lol.
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done and done.
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Mission 3: You're missing a "." right before Foreshadow sends you off. Just a nitpicky thing of mine.
I didn't know there was already a computer beforehand in the previous missions until my second walkthroug because the mission already completed and I didn't bother to go look for it. Suggestion: Maybe you could make the computer the mission complete and, instead of having it say something, just have blank information when the player clicks on it.
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Moved the computer to the front so it's harder to miss. Still not required though, and mission 3 begins a bit of a bigger change (hint: the glowies are actually not required, but I did throw in a unique and somewhat humorous clue for each one for your trouble)
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Mission 4: I really think three missions is enough for this arc, even though you do change things up a little. Four is getting, well, tedious. (sorry) and it's draining my enjoyment factor because it keeps repeating the same thing over and over again.
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Now with 40% less repetition, and 20% fewer missions (now 4)
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And I believe this is the first "clue" I've received. Up to this point, I've been noticing the lack of clues. The lack of clues/information hurts this arc because it makes you feel like you're in the dark and unsure of what the plot ACTUALLY is.
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And with many more clues.
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Mission 5: Usually, I just take my time defeating everything, but I rushed straight to the end. I'm thinking other players will feel the same thing. Mission 5 should really be moved up to mission 4.
I DO like the chronological backwards storytelling, though, but again--shorter is better. Foreshadow's ending comment just made me want to slap him, heh.
I was enjoying this up until the third arc, when it began to look like this would never end. I would suggest shortening it to three arcs and the lack of "informative" clues really hurt this one because I felt the story was lacking any meat.
Solo-ability: 5 out of 5. Wyern LTs. are a tad pushy with their explosive arrows, but otherwise, it was easy.
2 1/2 Stars.
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I'd love it if you would take a second look at it. I've changed almost all of Foreshadow's dialog (you're still going to want to slap him at the end though), and added bigger changes of pace in mission 3 and 4 and got rid of mission 5. Also added quite a bit of humor. There's also a couple easter egg-ish clues, let me know if you find them.
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Regarding the $ thing, that's something I didn't know. Perfectly understandable--I won't hold something you have no control over against you! It didn't even factor in my grading system anyway.
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Personally, I find it very irritating. I don't know why they have the trigger distance for the speech to be larger than the perception distance for the mobs. It causes patrols to start talking as soon as you enter the floor they are on, and causes things like this to happen. But these don't happen on the regular game, so they changed something when they put the system in the MA.
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As for the second MA, maybe you don't have to sacrifice story length--just add something more substative, some kind of "hook" eariler in the story, around the second or third part. But these are just my own personal opinions, of course.
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I looked and I do have more room on this arc. It is the last one that is at 99.8%, with no room for a souvenir. But I will have to think about what could go in the missions. I want to keep the players from getting too frustrated, but I also need to keep the hunt the central focus. 
Justice Blues, Tech/Tank, Inv/SS
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Fighting The Future Trilogy
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Arc: The Dead and the Damned
ID: 87912
Written by: @Found Boy
Mission 1: I like that you use a rarely used CoH group in your arc (the Legacy). However, even though its than a hour, you should warn that there is a timed mission. Some people (not me) might not like to be surprised with that.
The dialog when you first rescue the Legacy is funny.
This is a good first mission, setting up a hook and a mystery for you to solve.
Theres a grammar error once you return from the mission, Brother David tells you, By the light, I should have contact you more quickly. (apologizes if English isnt your first language) It should be contacted.
Mission 2: No complaints. I like the addition of the pirates.
Mission 3: Im really liking this story. Youre doing a great job of keeping the plot straightforward without getting bogged down in too many details. (thats something I tend to do with my own stories, heh)
The War Chief made me laugh. I really like the little sub-plot youve added here.
Mission 4: I really like the witticisms and in-jokes youre using.
Mission 5: Good, just when I was thinking that it seemed a little implausible that these two groups would really call a truce after all, you throw in a little plot twist.
Awww, a happy ending!
Solo-ability: 4 1/2 out of 5. Some people/ATs might have a problem with the pirates, but not me.
This is a great story that made me laugh and smile. I have nothing but good things to say about it. You have a really good sense of timing and humor.
5 stars.
My Arcs: A Spider on the Column (117024)--updated/fixed bugs/small story modifications
Hub (87439)--updated/fixed
Arc: Unusual Alliance
ID: 145387
Written by: Runic Skye
Mission 1: Im not sure about this, but this map may be a tad too big for a beginner. I had some trouble finding the glowie. (cant hear it) Otherwise, good start.
Mission 2: The Bone Daddy didnt give me that much trouble, thankfully.
Mission 3: The story so far is pretty simple--not that thats a bad thing. The hook is interesting enough to make me want to go on and learn more. The ending is a bit chuckle-worthy.
Mission 4: Huh? I got no indications that Ms. Liberty was doubting me before. *scratches head* Or maybe I just missed it due to speed-reading. Nevertheless, not THAT big of a deal.
I like the sense of dramatic tension you add to the story (preventing the attack).
Mission 5: I like your NPCs. Very creative. But
<.< They cant navigate steps.
When defend the statue pops up, theres only the word statue.
That was a good ending that made your lowbie character feel like a true hero!
Solo-ability: 4 out of 5. Bone daddies may be a problem for some.
Overall, aside from a few nitpicky things, this is a good story. I liked it very much and cannot find any glaring flaws, so Im giving it
5 stars.
My Arcs: A Spider on the Column (117024)--updated/fixed bugs/small story modifications
Hub (87439)--updated/fixed
I've got three arcs written specifically for low level play (they're not the ones in my sig!).
They are:
#100304: Learning The Ropes
#115935: Cracking Skulls
#124906: The Lazarus Project
Take 'em for a spin and tell me what you think!
M.A. Arcs
Intended for high level play: The Primus Trilogy (Arc #s 10931, 283821, 283825), "Freakshow U" (Arc #189073), Purification (Arc #352381, Dev's Choice!
)Intended for low level play: "Learning the Ropes" (Arc #100304), "Cracking Skulls" (Arc #115935), "The Lazarus Project" (Arc #124906)
Arc: Poi, Demonology, and Everything I Learned from Hellions
ID: 164235
Written by: @Ionderwost
Mission 1: I like how you sequence events and give the player a set-up to follow up on as well as adding a touch of humor.
Mission 2: Thank you for warning me. I liked how you portrayed Ms. Liberty in this. Its an interesting, well, non-choice you decide to make and you actually made me get in the mindset of the player/hero so that I felt like it was necessary. Thats tricky to pull off and you accomplished it, imho. But I kind of dislike the way you/I look down on Ms. Liberty in the end.
Solo-ability: 5 out of 5, standard enemy groups, no bosses, no problems.
Its a good story, but I feel as though it could benefit from a little more story-oriented details on the second map. You hint at summoning, but what/who was he summoning and it didnt seem like the LT. had that on his mind once I defeated him. Maybe one more line from him about how his plan failed or something?
4 stars (its more of 4 1/2)
My Arcs: A Spider on the Column (117024)--updated/fixed bugs/small story modifications
Hub (87439)--updated/fixed
Name: A Death in the Gish
ID: 168760
Written by: Neuronia
Mission 1: Right away, you set up an intriguing hook, making me want to know more. Good job.
Great, great job with setting up the atmosphere. I like the small touches of the Kings Row locations.
Wow! This mission is grisly. Did I mention Im squeamish because
Im squeamish.
I dont think its necessary to add the quotation marks when Witherhand speaks, but thats your own personal choice, of course.
Mission 2: The NPC dialogue--EWWWW.
That was a good ending.
Mission 3: You repeat yourself about Jan and the Skulls at the beginning of the intro when you already said at the ending of the last mission.
Bild says I will return and eke my revenge. You meant to say take, correct? If it IS eke, I dont think thats the right word.
That ending does a fair job of making the player feel heroic--saving hostages and the city. You do a good job of laying out the motives and reasons and I cant really find any fault aside from that one loose end, but thats to be expected, I guess.
Solo-ability: Vahz and Bone Daddies, a tough combo, but I managed okay. Fortunately, there were more skulls than vahz, so 4 out of 5 stars.
Overall, I liked this arc save for the gross parts. Like I said, I see no major flaws, so Im giving you
Five stars
My Arcs: A Spider on the Column (117024)--updated/fixed bugs/small story modifications
Hub (87439)--updated/fixed
Arc: Dream Paper
ID: 1874
Written by: @GlaziusF
Mission 1: I like the set-up and I like the nod to the Omega Project (is that what it was called? I forget
) at the mission pop-up.
Nice touch with the hostages/tenants, giving them personalities.
Mission 2: I like the set up and the explanation of the jar. It leads very neatly into the Tsoo. Good job on that one. Also I liked how you labeled the clues.
Mission 3: Well, youve set up something interesting here with this plot-line. Its a very sci-fi concept and I quite like it. This part of the mission was very good, adding elements of mystery.
Mission 5: (I skipped mission 5 because I didnt have anything to say about it; you should take that as a good thing)
I liked the end boss, and the facts that came up in the story. This was a really, really well-done story that tied into Lost lore, along with an unknown factor and the dangling, I guess, ending leaves me wanting more.
Solo-ability: People WILL have a hard time with the Lost and Tsoo. Some more than others. 2 1/2 out of 5.
This flowed very well and left me wanting more.
Five stars.
My Arcs: A Spider on the Column (117024)--updated/fixed bugs/small story modifications
Hub (87439)--updated/fixed
[ QUOTE ]
Heheh, you KNOW that snooping in the other kids' stuff is NOT a required objective for the mission ... yet you still did it. *evil grin*
[/ QUOTE ]
Heh, good point.
My Arcs: A Spider on the Column (117024)--updated/fixed bugs/small story modifications
Hub (87439)--updated/fixed