HoO's Guide to Getting Your Non-Gamer Wife to Play
By
abnormal_joe,
Posted on: 2007-03-26 11:10 in Player Guides
DANGIT!@!!
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Hand of Osiris's Guide to Writing off CoX as a Tax Deduction
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I've been a tech for over a decade now and it never dawned on me to write off all my hardware purchases as work related. I remote into work all the time.
Be well, people of CoH.
Dude, you missed the real secret, and how I got my truly non-gamer wife to play (the game) with me.
Two Words:
Costume Creator.
It's like shopping and getting wotever you want without spending money.
Fun for both of us!
Seriously, I bought the game over two years ago, made a silly costume, named the toon born2luz, and read all the tutorials as I went along. I showed her the game, and let her make a toon and she spent like 2 hours making a costume, click click clicked through the tutorial and then made another toon. And another.
Finally had to give her that account and get another fer myself.
And she's never been a console or *game* player before.
Costumes, man. I'm telling you.
@Bonker Guide to Base Building for the Small SG
Present project: Solo Everything Project
Remaining: Lusca, Sewers, Eden, Kahn, States, HeroSpec2&3, Apex, Tin Mage, Moritmer Kal, Tesseract, Recluse, 'Cuda, Quarry, Stropharia, Thorn, Arachnos Flier, Deathsurge, Caleb, Seed of Hamidon (Villrespec2&3, Hami, CoP, Incarnates)
Fricken brilliant!!!!
Especially date night on Thursday and the heavy starchy meal on Friday night.
Brilliant!!!!
and the all important 8)
Don't have kids... Think a wife slows down your online time? Try a couple of kids. 
And I do mean this in the most "I love my kids and would never trade them for anything" way.
@SBeaudway on Pinnacle, TaskForce Titans Supergroup.
My wife pretty much just played online spades for a long time. She's not really a gamer BUT, Let me tell ya I said " Hey honey why don't you make a character?" Hehehe sneak as I was she was like " Ok sure " She saw all the costume stuff and there ya have it!! She's been playing for a year now. It's almost bad but, She gets a lil mad when I say I don't feel like playing. Ok guys now how ironic is that? Or what you can do is try something she likes to do and have her try something you like to do.......OH THE GREAT COMPROMISE!!! 
I have to really agree with Born2luz lol!! soo funny but, sooo true add on to what he's saying, my wife would spend ours shopping for a new look....but, geez the next thing is LMAO!! and here's another funny thing she got mad when I returned my ps3.....once again how ironic hehe
Damit! Where was this guide the last several months????
I got to my wife to play and even manged to get her up to lvl 50 and done RLSF a couple times. She loves her toon and wouldln't play any other ones. Thing is she sucks and it annoyed the hell out of me. I know I know, it's stupid. It gets to not be fun when we team cause I was expecting too much from her. She had stopped playing for a month now....if only I could turn back time...
Should have paid more attention to making her experience more fun.
Good insights by the way. Some pretty sneaky too.
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Thing is she sucks and it annoyed the hell out of me. I know I know, it's stupid. It gets to not be fun when we team cause I was expecting too much from her. She had stopped playing for a month now....if only I could turn back time...
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I can imagine this, and variants of it being a showstopper for a lot of forum readers. Many of us read the forums to get finicky tactics, the best badge hunting/accolade options, the latest min-maxing tips. . .
Nothing will ruin her enjoyment of the game like "Oh, we have to talk to this contact, to get this mission, to get this badge, to get this accolade, which will also require hunting here by X level, but I think I can set it up in a mere two hours of farming greys via mission resets, in order to be L33t." With its variants "Don't take that power, take this one, with this slotting, in fact I'll plan your build out and tell you which buttons to press when.", and "I'm going to spend an hour infodumping you with everything about how the game works before you start, free with bonus rants about the nerfs you've never heard of." With the implication that you won't associate with her otherwise, and everyone will laugh at her behind her back, and by the way she is too dumb to understand these things. This Is Bad.
Point out how cool her powers look. Talk about how lonely the ruins of Boomtown feel. Jump in there and rescue that lady getting mugged, even if you have done it a thousand times already. Comment on the amusing NPC chatter. Show how to pull in game, don't describe it and go into the theory behind aggro. Ask *her* advice on *your* power picks and slotting, which is a good way to get a discussion of enhancements and other game numbers going. It won't kill you to put a slot or two somewhere she likes instead of where you had planned, the game isn't THAT tough.
See the game through the eyes of a newb again. You still managed to have fun before you knew all this stuff, or you wouldn't be here now.
Meanwhile, you pick up the missions and such that you know will be useful later (Spelunker, etc.), and both you guys run them. If you have to farm something, do it while she makes dinner, then she takes over while you wash dishes (or vice versa), then you both do something else. Keep the boring part behind the scenes.
Oh, and I'd be cautious about announcing to teams that "My companion here doesn't know how to play very well yet." Not exactly sending a supportive message there, and frankly your average wife or SO after duoing with you for a few days and getting even a few tactical tips will probably contribute more to the team then the average PUG member, so no need to make apologies.
And I'll be sure to let you know if any of this works for me. . .
Just be careful with the machine switchin trick, yours truly has officialy lost the good machine.
I won't complain to much though we have an assortment of duos spread across three servers. she has 2 50s plus a ton of 30s and we never pled.
You make good points re:costume creator, badge huntin, and min/maxxing as well.
regards
joe
Taking It On the Chin I-16 Tanker Guide
Repeat Offenders
man, you are a genius! i will begin implementation of THE PLAN(i will call it this rom now on) immediately! dying with her is sheer brilliance. Romantic even.
Just a quick thought I had. If dying with her works well to keep the fun and romatic level thing going, then dying holding aggro so that she can escape and save the debt has got to be like a medal of honor in the spouse playing department. I think further investigation into this topic would be vital to men everywhere, and hereby vote to increase this ideas funding..LOL
Go one step further with the idea, when you see adds and a faceplant looks likely charge and tank for her even if you are on a blaster. It looks so very noble dying for a lost cause.
regards
joe
Taking It On the Chin I-16 Tanker Guide
Repeat Offenders
building a computer now to further THE PLAN. rule no1 we do not talk about THE PLAN.
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<snip>It won't kill you to put a slot or two somewhere she likes instead of where you had planned...</snip>
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Oh man, the jokes just write themselves.... 
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Nothing will ruin her enjoyment of the game like "Oh, we have to talk to this contact, to get this mission, to get this badge, to get this accolade, which will also require hunting here by X level, but I think I can set it up in a mere two hours of farming greys via mission resets, in order to be L33t." With its variants "Don't take that power, take this one, with this slotting, in fact I'll plan your build out and tell you which buttons to press when.", and "I'm going to spend an hour infodumping you with everything about how the game works before you start, free with bonus rants about the nerfs you've never heard of."
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QFT
I showed my wife how to log in to the account and gave her the little manual that came with the box set and suggested she make a regen scrapper to start on since they are hard to mess up the build and they are a bit easier to level, IMHO. After that I shut up and let her ask questions elaborating only where absolutely necessary. I gave her some influence to ease out the start and she took off.
Now she has almost as many alts as I do and is dieing to get her first 50. She is enjoying playing so much I had to buy her a real gaming system with the tax return to match the one I use. A few weeks later I had to start a third account so she could team with our kids after school. I seriously think she may be more into CoH than I am.
Tech Support Rule #1 - They will lie to you. Usually intentionally.
My wife has become slightly miffed, if on a night she allows me to game, that I want to play another alt vs our duo team.
I am like "honey, I need to go to the Hami raid! so I can be kewl!"
As for the costume creator... one of my BIG pet peeves with this game is that I don't have access to all my Veteran stuff, costumes whatever that I have on my 33 month account.
So when we start making up a character using only a 6 month account, it is craptastic.
There should be a means to link accounts coming from the same billing.
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There should be a means to link accounts coming from the same billing.
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/signed and QFT
Oh the power my wife and I could wield if we both could benefit from my veteran status. I love this suggestion!
thank you for the amusing read. I showed it to my wife who got a kick out of it ... she does not play.
On that Tax Deduction thing .. I searched the forums and could not find anything. Anyone got a link to it?
CelticFist
The new cpu exchange thingy did not work really well... she is using a duo core compared to my craptastic p4 she stopped playing for a month now after getting her first toon to 50 ... any ideas here?
OMG HELP ME !
btw i think this post is great lol had a great laugh reading this... It just makes it all the more obvious that we males are always in need of someone who does the same thing with ya... and making your other half play with you through this "PLAN" is really "EVIL"
I think this is exactly how I began playing. My boyfriend implemented your "PLAN" on me. And it worked brilliantly. I'm as hooked as he is. I probably play more than him now. If this thread was 6 months old, not 2 weeks old, I'd have to give you guys credit instead of him.
Awesome thread. After 8 years of marriage I have turned my wife into a faithful "companion" console gamer. Meaning, she plays certain games with me(mostly top down RPGS and fighting games), reads guides as I play solo RPGs, and watches and cheers as I play sports games and FPS.
The conundrum I face is my wife views the PC as an "evil and souless" box which is nothing but a bringer of porn and ebay trinkets. She uses the PC to check e-mail, but anything beyond that is almost taboo. I tried to get her to play a couple of RTS games a couple of years ago...to no avail.
Perhaps the "PLAN" can help me destroy her defenses and bring the delights of CoX to her life.
To bad my desktop just blew up and my laptop sucks....sigh 
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The conundrum I face is my wife views the PC as an "evil and souless" box which is nothing but a bringer of porn....
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Well then, you'll have to go find and read the guide on that too!
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Perhaps the "PLAN" can help me destroy her defenses and bring the delights of CoX to her life.
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And the jokes just continue to write themselves!
I'm still an unhitched gamer Woman...so now when's the guide for: "How to make your Hubby/BF less grumpy after you soundly thrash him in a game" come out?
(nicely done OP, nicely done)
I was at a friends house for a dinner social where a few of the other males are or were CoX players and through conversation it came up that me and my wife were not only playing but enjoying CoX together. One of my friends who plays on Guardian (SERVER TRANSFER TOOL PLZ) said I should write a guide. So after a few days of the idea brewing... here it goes!
and possible another guide! Hand of Osiris's Guide to Writing off CoX as a Tax Deduction). Thus this rule says make sure her gaming experience is fun and if she looks over at your uber machine and she is playing on the old turd burgler box, perhaps you can try switching machines... ouch I know that hurt.
(while she proceeded to EMP a single yellow minion)
Disclaimer: If anything following gets you into trouble don't blame me! Blame PvP!
Background: I am a long time gamer, and was introduced to D&D in Kindergarten by a local 3rd grader. Thus when college rolled around I told myself that I should not hook up with gamer chicks and get a 'normal person' to balance my personal zen.
Well that worked pretty good until the lure of the game started to pull me back.
Now my wife is Japanese and is quite familiar with consoles and arcade games etc and has nothing inherently against playing video game. Officially I can play as much as I want but there are some hazy boundaries where I have either played too long, or too often (or too long and too often). I think personal hygiene might be a barometer.
So it was obvious that if I was ever to level... I better get her playing so that it is a family activity!
1) Getting her to play is actually the answer to how can I play more video games.
So how do I do that?
First off money is often a concern in a lot of homes and her single biggest complaint was the monthly charge. Worse to keep up with me my second account (or her account) would also need to run CoV for SG access. Her complaint was that she wouldn't mind playing every now and then but she would not play enough to make it worth it.
2) I created a separate checking account for myself and called it my allowance. I negotiated what would be a reasonable allowance for me per month and I pay completely for both accounts. Thus she doesn't feel that she is wasting money.
I do a rotation at home with my computers. I keep a main box and rotate my older parts to the 2nd machine which my wife uses. We had previously screwed around with Guild Wars and she complained that she couldn't see things well... To sweeten the experience for her... I secretely updated her machine.
3) Her new Dell flat panel monitor for Christmas was really all a part of my evil scheme. I wrote it off as a business expense. (hey we both work in software, I can termserv in once in a while
The next thing I had to overcome was her other interests. Somewhere along the line I got roped into Dancing with the Stars (ok I have a few years of dancing myself -try it works good to pick up girls if you are Rico Suave out there). There are a few other shows she likes as well, including a few that I like.
4) Digital Recorder. Make more time in your life by getting one of these life changing devices. WARNING: Only use it for good not evil! Where evil is defined as, "I can skip commericals so that 30 minute shows are 18 minutes I can watch MORE TV" vs. good "I can watch all my programs in less time it took than before." You can still have all your meaningfull moments of togetherness its just that those moments of cuddling on the couch have secretly shrunk from an hour to 45 minutes and from 30 minutes to 18 minutes. Mu ha ha!
We all know that the best gaming is when there are lots of peeps online so that teams are easy to find and opponents in PvP are plentiful. This means video gaming on Friday night, all day Saturday, and Sunday during the day.
5) To overcome "You are wasting our nice Friday night, why aren't we going out." or "It is a beatifull day this weekend, lets go somewhere". There are 2 tricks.
First off make good use of Thursday nights as a going out\date night. This then 'frees' up Friday night because you just went out. You can also try the "I am tired from a long week of working, lets just watch a digital recorded tv program."
I have also found that making a nice dinner Friday with lots of heavy starchy foods (pasta), lighting a few candles, and opening that bottle of wine that you conveinently keep refilling her glass can free up a whole night of gaming for you! Yes it is my most evil scheme and it works 95% of the time as she gets sleepy and goes to bed. WARNING: This can backfire as something called "cuddling" or "sex" might be requested.
To overcome wasting a nice sunny Saturday. Schedule gaming. I put it on the calendar that I would like to play video games on some Saturday a few weeks in advance. This allows you to pull off TF's or attend server events.
Make sure that you start early and end mid-day or start late afternoon. Then use the other half of the day to do something nice.
You can also move to Seattle where the number of nice Sunny days is severly limited and because you are a lazy SOB and haven't planned anything to do, you just turn your head and say, "It is nasty, lets just play some video games. I only need a half bulb to level."
6) Emphasize the Team. If you give her the idea that she is playing video games with you this will allow her to play more video games. It is you she wants to be with, not any desire to play CoX so emphasize the team experience.
do so by: Coordinating outfits, Names, Story Description.
You can satisfy your inner power gamer by creating 2 toons to explicitly coordinate their powers together. It is very interesting to see how you might make a toon if you knew that you would never ever play without this other toon. Most player guides actually fall apart and become sub optimal. Also NEVER EVER play 'your half' of the duo without the other. If she is always having to SK under you or just be caged into being a 'debuffer/healer and watcher' that might not be her game.
7) We have all been on horrible PuG's or watch some noob \regen scrapper cause a team wipe because he thinks he is still soloing. (the leroy jenkins effect). Your spouse is that person.
DUO only and on Heroic (or whatever is easy for you two) until she becomes more and more comfortable with the game. Even learning the keyboard movement. I had to spend a lot of time in KR teacher her how to jump.
Consider FLY as a travel power for her and slot it quickly. Remove as many frustrations in playing as possible. A high surviveable toon might be in order too where you can just run up and button smash.
I overcome a lot of problems by the TP pool on my blaster. Recall Friend and Team TP. She has Fly and Team Fly. We both fly and tp! (team fly still sucks REDUCE THE END, UP THE SPEED, LET EVERYONE FLY AT SAME SPEED -WHOMEVER IS FASTEST, MAKE IT RESISTANT TO -FLY)
Also Grant Invisiblity stops her from agroing mobs flying all crazy all over the place. Also no one likes to be mezzed so I have Stimulate too.
The next step is to play the DUO with SG teams where you announce to your SG that she is a NOOB. I created a macro button (I don't use it anymore as she has graduated to average) that I would also use to explain to PuG's that she just started.
In addition DO NOT GET FRUSTRATED AT HER CRAPPITUDE. Just die with her and return to base, like a good husband. Thats why I really suggest playing on an easy difficulty.
I also put in our Looking for Team message for each that you must also invite the other toon.
So there it is! Remember that she is playing because she wants to be with you!
So you ask what do we play. Team Ninja! She plays Shinobi no Yumi (Death by Bowshot or Secret Archer) a TA\A Defender and I play Yumiya (Bow and Arrow) a Archery\nrgy blaster. Ironically she is WAY stronger toon than me and is our criticaly in our success. Recently there was a defender post about TA\A being the most difficult defender to play well, so I tried to 'switch' toons with her. She told me to stick it and keep playing my crappy blaster. doh!