While Pipewrench was gone out on an errand, Hephaestus 1 manned the bar at the St. Florians' KC Hall in Kings Row. Naturally, he got bored dusting off the beer mugs, so he called over to his fellow heroes the Cobalt Claymore and Back Yard Boom. Though neither would usually skip class, they decided to take a day off and assist their fellow hero with his task. Naturally the subject of the bar's usual bartender came up.
"Let me get this straight," the Cobalt Claymore said, "Pipewrench was shot into the future somehow?"
"That's what he says, an' that's what the guy at Portal Corp told me when I asked him," Back Yard Boom said. "He never gave the tech his name or nothin', he just said ta call him Pipewrench, 'cause everyone else did."
"Well," Heph said, "I know he used to be a plumber. I also checked out some of the old records here at the hall. Get ready for this. The guy's name is Niccolo San Fillipo."
"So what?" CC asked with a shrug. "He's Italian. Big whoop."
Boom grinned. "Italian... an' a plumber. Put it together, Todd, whattayagot?"
CC shook his head. "Good grief. Give the old guy a break. You're going to start comparing him to Mario and Luigi? Video games weren't even dreamed about back in the day."
"Still though," Heph said. "It's kind of funny. I mean, don't you want to hear the guy say 'It'sa me! Pipewrench!' or something?"
Boom grinned. "Ya gotta admit, Todd, ya send an old guy from the past ta the future where Italian plumbers are looked upon as pop-culture icons an'... well, I guess ya just gotta look at it right."
Heph piped up. "It'sa me! Pipewrench!" and started humming the old Super Mario Brothers theme.
At about that time, Pipewrench returned to see three heroes acting like total buffoons in his bar. A quick clearing of his throat and the presence of his signature plumbing tool, a 3-foot long cast-iron pipewrench, stopped the commotion.
"Whattaya doin' standin' around an' singin' stupid crap fer? I told ya ta dust them mugs off, Mick!" Pipewrench said while pointing his wrench at Hephaestus 1.
The three other heroes became silent rather quickly.
"That's better. Now, which'a you geniuses is gonna help me set up this space phone?" the old plumber said, holding a tiny cellphone in his hand. "Eh, ya know, a cell phone. Whatever it is."
"Sure thing, Mario," Boom said.
"Nah, that was my dad's name."
Boom stopped. "Was he a plumber, too?"
"Yeah, who do ya think I apprenticed to when I was a kid?" Pipewrench asked.
"Ah, geez, my mistake," Boom said. "Uh, ya didn't happen ta have a Uncle Luigi who was also a plumber, did ya?"
"Yeah, an' yer the fifth college kid ta ask me that today. What the hell's funny 'bout two Italian plumbers tryin' ta make a honest livin' fer their families?"
The Cobalt Claymore stood up. "Pipewrench, let me tell you about a certain video game..."
Back Yard Boom - Emo Catgirl - Cobalt Claymore - Hephaestus 1
Avatar by Scarf_Girl!
[good thing he can duck fast...]
Part of Sister Flame's Clickey-Clack Posse
The English language is an intricate high-speed precision tool.Stop using it to bang open coconuts. ~Tokamak
Dark_Respite's Video page
[ QUOTE ]
[good thing he can duck fast...]
[/ QUOTE ]
"If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball."
Back Yard Boom - Emo Catgirl - Cobalt Claymore - Hephaestus 1
Avatar by Scarf_Girl!
The near-empty headquarters of Jizoku no Himitsu in the Rogue Isles was barely lit by a few electric lights. Mother Aoi brushed the last few strokes of a spirit seal on the floor, placing herself and the paper talisman that contained the soul of her late husband within its center. She had brought with her a few things removed from the original Cobalt Claymore's old safe deposit boxes in St. Martial, things he'd owned at one time, things with enough sentimental value that he saved them for his son. There was the old spring-driven wristwatch he'd worn when he still went by his Malta designation of Royal Helix Sierra, a first-edition printing of his first academic textbook, the steel cufflinks that were created from his first sword and a still-unopened letter addressed to his son.
Mother Aoi laid the items around the talisman and started the ritual she used to lure Ghost Widow into a trap. Unlike Lord Recluse's lieutenant, however, she would use it to bring her husband back, if only for the moment. The ritual had been a poorly-designed one, as the person returned from the dead would not last for too long on this plane before being returned to their proper place, and was also bound in their movement by the seal itself. It might bring someone back to life, but quickly and only in one place. Mother Aoi knew it would be long enough to apologize. She spoke one last word and the paper talisman bubbled and melted, eventually growing and forming into the body of her late husband. He stood there, still dumbfounded from when Mother Aoi trapped him.
"Why, June?" Michael Galahad whispered hoarsely. "To do this to our son--" he stopped once he realized that his wife had placed her hand on his chest. Not near it, not through it, but on it.
"I told you twenty years ago that I love you, Michael, but you know I love my family more. I still love my family enough to ensure they have a good leader. I just wanted to apologize for doing something so foolish," Mother Aoi said, putting her arms around her husband's bare chest.
"You're touching me," Moichael said. "What have you done, Junie?"
"I brought you back so I could properly apologize. I don't know how much longer you have here. While you're here, neither of us can leave this circle." She dropped to the floor, bowing deeply enough to almost touch the floor with her forehead. "I used you as a bargaining chip against our son. I have used you to force him into accepting leadership of my family. I apologize for using rash actions where I should have used reasoning. Please forgive me for doing such things."
"Get up, June," Michael said. "I forgave you a long time ago for trying to steal both our sons away. I can't forgive you for this, though, as much as I still love you. You forced Todd to succeed you in a criminal enterprise. You gave our son no choice other than aceptance of this fate. He's made a promise because of threats to me and that girl that he loves. Even if it was through force, you know he'll see it through to the end. His is the forgiveness you should seek, not mine."
"I didn't want him to refuse," Mother Aoi said.
"You could have found a better incentive."
"Perhaps."
Michael Galahad folded his arms across his chest. "If I'd lived long enough to meet you again, we would have fought, you know that."
"Yes," Mother Aoi said.
"I'd have killed you before you had a chance to manipulate Todd like that."
"I know."
"I'm wondering if you actually even love me or not, the way that you act."
"I do love you, Michael. It took me a long time to accept that. But I have responsibilities to the family-"
"Your family includes me and Todd, don't forget that!" Michael said, his voice rising in anger. "Don't ever visit my grave again, and don't ever raise a finger to hurt or manipulate Todd ever again. You've already chased off Michael Junior, and now you're taking it out on Todd. There's only two things you can do now, one of which is letting Todd run the family as he sees fit. The second one? See a psychiatrist. You've let your need to be in control of every situation go too far. It's driven you nuts."
"I suppose you could be right, Michael," Mother Aoi said. "I've gone too far in consolidating my power. I'm too hungry for control." She turned back around.
Michael was gone. All that was left was a scrap of paper and some faded calligraphy.
"I don't even get to say a proper goodbye," she whispered. "Not even a kiss."
Mother Aoi sat on the stone floor and pondered her next moves for the family.
Back Yard Boom - Emo Catgirl - Cobalt Claymore - Hephaestus 1
Avatar by Scarf_Girl!
That's right. Season 2 is on its way! Here's a teaser until I get the final version ready:
Larry stood up from his desk. "Pleased to meet you! The last time I worked with any ninja was in 'Brick Landers IS Brick Torquewrench in NINJA KILL FORCE 3000!' So, can I get you a cup of coffee?"
----
"Ganymede is a who, not a what. He's the official representative of Eros, the ancient Greek God of Love," Mitch said. "I thought you read through that book of Greek legends I gave you."
"I, uh, got distracted," Heph said. "A girlfriend covered in bacon will do that to you."
----
That's right! Hephaestus 1 gets a new teammate! Is he really a ninja? What is their ultimate mission? Don't miss the Season 2 premiere of "Serv'd!" on A&E!
Back Yard Boom - Emo Catgirl - Cobalt Claymore - Hephaestus 1
Avatar by Scarf_Girl!
((Here's an ad for "Serv'd!" that usually runs during other shows.))
*Hephaestus 1 and his sound crew are sitting in the main hallway of the Rhode Island District Courts building waiting for their initial deposition stemming from a civil suit.*
Heph: So, guys, if we play it straight and keep to what's on tape, we should be out of there quickly.
Mitch, the Cameraman: That shouldn't be a problem.
Clem, the Sound Recorder: Yeah, man, we're professionals.
*The trio is passed by about five or six younger lawyers and paralegals, all of whom are surrounding a prominent bald and well-known local attorney.*
Junior Partner 1: Okay, McCaskill and I are sure this will be Chris' 300th win. If he gets this, the Trial Bar's annual award is a lock for him. McCaskill, based on the witnesses and evidence, what would you say our chances are?
Junior Partner 2: About... 32.3 percent. Repeating of course, Snyder.
Junior Partner 1: Not good, but if we stick to pounding the table to get our point across--
*The bald attorney breaks away from his employees, a look of unholy fury on his face.*
Prominent Lawyer: LET'S DO THIS! CHRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSS JENKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNS!
*Chris Jenkins runs into the court chambers, waving his legal brief over his head and using his briefcase as a shield.*
Junior Partner 1: Oh... oh no! Who forgot to give him his meds? Okay, stick with the plan! Stick with the plan!
*The legal staff breaks into a panicked run as Heph and his loyal sound crew look on in stunned jaw-dropped silence. The screen fades to black*
SERV'D! 50% smarter than the regular legal system.
Fridays at 9pm Eastern on A&E.
*The image of Hephaestus 1 and crew appears again.*
Heph: Evidence, schmevidence. We've got this one won.
*The commercial fades out.*
Back Yard Boom - Emo Catgirl - Cobalt Claymore - Hephaestus 1
Avatar by Scarf_Girl!
[...erk! <falls over laughing>]
Part of Sister Flame's Clickey-Clack Posse
The English language is an intricate high-speed precision tool.Stop using it to bang open coconuts. ~Tokamak
Dark_Respite's Video page
I had to get it out of my brain somehow, and the sharp, pointy, and rusty electric scissors I have at work weren't doing the trick. So, I typed it instead.
Back Yard Boom - Emo Catgirl - Cobalt Claymore - Hephaestus 1
Avatar by Scarf_Girl!
((Oh yes, it's back for another season.))
erv'd! Season 2 Ep 1
*The Season Premiere Episode of "Serv'd!" starts out with new music (a very 70's-cop-show instrumental piece) and a new montage of Heph and his crew. Fang is only present in one shot, but scenes of the new guy, Mobius Knight have been spliced in of him looking harried, tired, and the usual "Oh no, not again" look of every good sidekick.*
The camera faded in at Larry McGonigle's office where Hephaestus 1, Clem, Mitch, and Larry are waiting on the arrival of the new guy.
"I thought he was supposed to be here by now," Larry said. "I mean, you got a guy who understands punctuality, right?"
"Maybe he got tied up in traffic," Heph said. "Those high-occupancy Group Flight lanes can be nasty."
"Wait, he flies?" Clem asked. "You never said anything about him flying."
"No, but when you leap from building to building, you tend to cross those flight paths. They're a real pain," Heph said. "At least I think he does that. Maybe he drives, I don't know."
A knock at the door announced the arrival of Mobius Knight, Heph's new partner. He showed up in his usual outfit, black and white with a mask covering the lower part of his face, his eyes hidden behind sunglasses. He wore a scarf around his neck in blue and white, to provide a little dash of color on the costume. His katana was attached firmly to his tactical belt. "Hey, guys," Mobius Knight said. "Sorry I'm late. Snugglesworth was extra stubborn today. He didn't want to go outside for his morning walk."
"Hey, Moby," Heph said. "Clem, Mitch, Larry, this is Mobius Knight, my new teammate."
Clem and Mitch looked at each other and grinned.
Larry stood up from his desk. "Pleased to meet you! The last time I worked with any ninja was in 'Brick Landers IS Brick Torquewrench in NINJA KILL FORCE 3000!' So, can I get you a cup of coffee?"
"I'm not a ninja. I just use a katana, that's all. It's just a sword, no big deal," Mobius Knight said. "And no coffee for me, thanks."
"So, you have a dog named Snugglesworth?" Clem asked.
"Yes. He's still a puppy. He'll grow, though," Mobius Knight said.
"Yeah, Akitas tend to do that," Mitch said. "Great dogs for ninjas, though."
"No, man, honestly, I'm not a ninja. Yes, I studied the sword arts of Japan. Yes, I can be sneaky, but no more sneaky than others. That doesn't make me a ninja. And Snugglesworth is a Pomeranian mix, not an Akita," Mobius Knight said.
"Right, because we'd never expect a Pomeranian to throw shurikens. Very clever, Mister Ninja!" Mitch replied.
Heph looked at his recording crew. "Guys. Be serious. Moby's not a ninja. I can vouch for that. I know real ninjas. He's not one of them."
"That's what they want you to think, Heph," Clem said in a dead-on Dale Gribble impersonation.
"I can't believe this crap," Mobius Knight said. "It's not even ten minutes into my new job and the hired help is giving me a hard time!"
Mitch and Clem stared at Mobius Knight.
"We're not the hired help," Mitch said.
"We're trained professionals, the only ones qualified to-"
Heph interposed a large blue hand between his new teammate and his recording crew. "Okay, quit it, you two. Moby here was nice enough to take the job after we had such bad luck with other applicants. This guy isn't related to any of us, he wasn't foisted off on us like some people's nephews, and he's competent right out of the gate. So lay off or get laid off, got it?"
"Fang was competent!" Larry blubbered from behind his coffee travel mug.
"Yeah, he was competent after he was on the show. This guy comes to us, uh, pre-competent," Heph said.
"Anyway, O'Flannagan," Larry said using Heph's civilian ID, "I'm glad we're all here. It seems we're going to have to make a deal with the devil, so to speak, for this case."
"This is me raising my invisible 'the hell?' eyebrow," Heph said. "Are we dropping off papers to Steve Irwin, the Envoy of Shadows, again?"
"Steve Irwin?" Mobius Knight asked. "the Crocodile Hunter?"
"No, different guy entirely," Heph said. "Steve Irwin, the Envoy of Shadows is the uncle of a teammate of a friend. It's a long and funky story."
"No, we're not doing anything with Steve this time," Larry said as he put his coffee mug back on the "Nicest Bureaucrat in Rhode Island 1995" coaster on his desk. "We're actually working for Ganymede."
"What's that?" Heph asked.
"Ganymede is a who, not a what. He's the official representative of Eros, the ancient Greek God of Love," Mitch said. "I thought you read through that book of Greek legends I gave you."
"I, uh, got distracted," Heph said. "A girlfriend covered in bacon will do that to you."
"Ba- no, I refuse to go down that dark and evil path of knowing too much!" Mobius Knight said.
"Two words: Hickory Smoked," Heph said. "And I'm a man who loves his bacon."
Mitch, Clem, and Larry feverishly thought of everything they could to blot out the mental image of Hephaestus 1, his alien girlfriend and a whole lotta bacon.
"Anyway!" Larry shouted. "We need to help Ganymede in retrieving an item for his patron."
"So, we're not serving a summons to anyone?" Heph asked.
"Actually, we will be serving papers on one 'Arbiter Sands' to appear as a witness in a fender-bender incident involving a Sky Skiff and a Longbow Chaser. However, to get to him, we need to help Ganymede out. We'll be helping the good arbiter with a retrieval mission to get the Girdle of Aphrodite."
"The Girdle of Aphrodite," Mobius Knight said. "We're going after women's underwear?"
"Well no, it's a name for a--"
"Holy crap, we're going on a magical panty raid," Heph said. "Larry, what in the hell have you gotten us into?"
"Look, talk to this Ganymede guy at Pocket D. He'll get a meeting set up with Sands from there. Now, Lorna has the paperwork ready so take care of your sign-out forms and go pick up the summons. Let's get this done today, all right?"
Hephaestus 1, Mobius Knight and the recording crew walked out of Larry's office, wondering why their legal liaison hated them so much.
Back Yard Boom - Emo Catgirl - Cobalt Claymore - Hephaestus 1
Avatar by Scarf_Girl!
((If you're going to throw anything, throw bananas. That way, I can make some bread.))
A smudged brass plate on the heavy wooden door read 'Irene Hunter, Ph.D, CCC-SLP'. Parzifal pushed the door open, blinking at the subdued lighting in the waiting room. Most of the chairs were unoccupied, save for a few closest to the receptionist's window. He strode past them, gesturing for the receptionist's attention and speaking quietly, so as not to disturb the others waiting. "Phillip Astor, for my four o'clock appointment, marpleg." The receptionist pointed with his pen, indicating wordlessly that the knight should take a seat, then returned to his paperwork.
Claiming a seat against the wall and tilting his head back, he closed his eyes, enjoying a few moments of quiet after his noisy public transit ride from Paragon City to Pawtucket. Soon, however, he became aware of a rhythmic thumping noise coming from someplace to his right.
He opened his eyes, turning toward the sound. The origin was a pair of dirty sneakers, worn by a small girl of perhaps seven or eight, seated on the row of chairs in the center of the waiting room. Clumps of dried mud fell off the soles as she clapped them together nervously. Though the rest of her garb was obscured by the sizeable stuffed dog sitting on her lap, he could see enough to recognize that she was wearing a typical girl's winter uniform for Catholic school... thick slacks, and a light-colored oxford with a cardigan sweater. Her dark hair was held back by a pink plastic headband, its edges decorated with tiny daisies. Wary eyes peered back at the knight from behind the dog's floppy ears. Parz simply nodded silently with a small, gentle smile, then turned his attention elsewhere.
Magazines littered the table to his left, and he picked one up, flipping through it. He found he could not pay attention to it, however, partially because he had no interest in the doings of Hollywood glitterati, particularly a year or more out of date; and partly because the thumping of the girl's shoes didn't cease. Parz set it back on the table, and looked toward the girl again. "You are nervous, aye?" he half-whispered to her.
She looked around, and seeing that he was looking right at her, she gave a slow, somewhat suspicious nod, which he returned.
There was a sudden creaking sound, exaggeratedly loud in the quiet, and both of them glanced to the waiting room door, which was opening to reveal a tall, slightly stoop-shouldered man, with the same shade and thickness of dark hair as the girl. He sat down next to her, whispering to her in waiting-room volume. She smiled a little, wiggling in her seat behind the dog, but Parz could see a hint of an anxious, uncertain look in her eyes, and recognized it. He'd often worn that same look himself, when he was a boy of her age.
The man noticed Parz' attention, and leaned toward him, elbow on his knee. "Here for an appointment?" His voice was gruff, but conversational.
"Aye, I am," the knight returned in his own soft British-tinted baritone, as he offered his hand. "I am Phillip Astor."
He accepted it, and Parz resisted the urge to reach further up his arm, to shake hands in the old way. "Jeff Mayfield," the man responded, shaking firmly.
"It is good to meet you, Sir." Parz' gaze turned toward the girl as he sat back. "And you are?" he prompted gently.
She glanced up at the man, who spoke a quiet affirmative back to her. "Tr-tr-tricia," she replied meekly, while simultaneously ducking further behind the stuffed dog.
Parzifal's grin was warm. "It is good to meet you, Miss Tricia. And your friend?" he asked, indicating the dog.
The girl's face screwed up in an expression half-frustration, half-concentration, trying to work the words out. Parz simply waited. "M-m-m-m-m-morgan," she replied, gasping slightly at the end.
The knight greeted the dog with solemnity, as he would the guardian of any young girl... since this was likely how Tricia regarded the plush. "It is good to meet you as well, Morgan." The corners of Tricia's lips turned faintly upward. He noticed this, and spoke to her again. "Is this your first visit to Dr. Hunter?"
Again, she looked at the man, her father, but nodded quickly before getting confirmation. "We just moved here, from Pennsylvania," Jeff explained. "It took a while for us to get an appointment with the doctor." He mussed the girl's hair a little, affectionately, and she squirmed again, batting at his hand in annoyance.
"She has been my therapist for most of my life." Parz flashed a quick, self-conscious smile. "Stutterer. Developmental... since I was two. Dr. Hunter is very good at what she does."
"That's what we were told," Jeff confirmed as he settled back in the chair, comfortably stretching his legs out in front of him.
Bravely, Tricia ventured from behind the safety of Morgan, and looked over Parz with a gravity incongruent with her years. She tilted her head, then took a soft half-breath before saying, "Y-y-you, t-t-t-too?"
"Aye, me too. I was unable to control it entirely until around the time I entered college, and I still lose control, betimes. I am here for a routine visit." He laced his fingers together, resting them on his lap in a relaxed fashion. The girl smiled wider, showing off the prominent gap in her front teeth, but she said nothing.
"What do you do, Mr. Astor?" Jeff asked.
After a pause, Parz answered, "Law enforcement, Sir," but didn't elaborate.
The man offered, "Truck driving instructor," in return, before glancing at his daughter. "It's been an adjustment." There was a vague tightness in his tone, a hint of sadness shading the corners of his eyes.
Parz nodded in deep, wordless understanding, recalling his own father with a pang of melancholy. "It can be difficult, aye, with a new place, and new people." His eyes drifted toward Tricia, and he regarded her for a few moments. She looked uncertainly back. He gave her a reassuring smile again, and picked up one of the outdated children's magazines on the table, flipping through the pages until he found a suitably colorful picture. Then, with a conspiratorial wink toward her, he coughed loudly while simultaneously ripping the page out of the magazine. The receptionist peered out of his window with a mild look of annoyance before he took in the scene. Though he was obviously not fooled by Parz' clumsy ruse, he simply shrugged, and returned to his work, closing the frosted glass after him.
Tricia craned her neck curiously as Parz worked, trimming the page until it was square, then beginning to make folds in it. "A friend of mine once made me one of these," he explained as he worked. "To make me smile." In a few minutes, he perched the finished product on his knee... an origami swan. He glanced toward Jeff before picking it up again, and offering it to the girl.
"L-l-l-like th-th-th-the U-u-ugly D-d-d-duckling?" she asked sadly, stretching out her hand for it.
The knight shook his head as he left the paper in her grasp. "Not at all. I see nothing ugly here, duckling or otherwise. Swans are beautiful, aye, but they are also brave, and strong, and loyal. Someone I... knew once, favored them. Took them as his symbol." Whether Jeff or Tricia could hear the note of grief in his voice, Parz couldn't tell, though he tried to obscure it. "I think fondly of them, because of that."
There was a loud creak, as the inner office door swung open. "Phillip Astor?" the woman announced, and Parz stood in confirmation. "This way, please." He bowed his head slightly in greeting to her, then looked back at the father and daughter. "It was good meeting you, and I hope things work out well in your new situation."
"Thanks, nice to meet you, too," Jeff replied, as Tricia waved shyly with the swan. Parz turned and walked into the office.
Links to my Virtueverse crap
((Morv... that was beautiful.))
((Plucked from another thread, this is another episode of just how nervewracking it can be to be around Mary Tsoo.))
Mary Tsoo sat quietly in her meditation room, which was always spotless and nice-smelling. She breathed in deeply, then exhaled. She let her mind wander, trying to determine what she should do this year to be the best Mary Tsoo that she could be.
I could help a hundred puppies, she thought, because puppies grow into dogs that love people. Or I could teach everyone the meaning of friendship. But those are too easy!
Searching for the Ultimate Nice Thing To Do, Mary sent her astral form forth to search for the current Mystic Overseer of the Universe. Her thoughts flowed like a river of happiness as she directed herself to the Mystic Overseer's spirit castle. It was a nice enough castle, though the orange and black stripes were a bit gaudy. Two guardian spirits stood by the doors, in their orange and black jackets.
"Hi, guys!" Mary Tsoo said. "Is the Mystic Overseer of the Universe in today?"
"He is," one of the spirits said. "But he's busy."
"I traveled a long way to get here, though. Can you check to see if he can squeeze me in today? Pleeeeeeease?" she asked, smiling her usual dazzling smile.
The two guardian spirits looked at each other. "What do you think?" said one of the spirits.
"Well, she did travel a long way, and she did ask nicely," said the other.
"We just can't say no to Mary Tsoo!" both spirits said, smiling happily as they opened the gates made of pure mystical gridiron.
Mary Tsoo's astral form skipped merrily down the hallway shouting out the name of the Mystical Overseer of the Universe.
"HU DEI! HUUUUUU DEEEEEEEEEIIIII! Where are you?" Mary Tsoo shouted.
Hu Dei, the Chinese sorcerer who, during the Han Dynasty was known as the Master of Tigers, had his arcane studies interrupted yet again by this particular meddler.
"Always with the interruptions and the shouting!" the wizened old mage said as he threw his hands up in frustration. "All I ask for is a little peace and quiet and I get the Treasure of Gornischt for my results!" He adjusted his robe and set his court official's cap on his head as he did long ago. He slid down from the stool near his desk and hobbled his way to the door.
"Enough with the shouting, already! The dead don't even make this kind of racket during the Dragon Boat festivals, oy!" Hu Dei said as he opened the door. "Oh, it's you, Mary Tsoo. What brings you to my humble manor, blah blah, have a cookie. The Mrs. made them fresh this morning."
Mary Tsoo leapt out and hugged the old man. "Hu Dei! It's been a year since I saw you last! Thanks to you, I was the best Mary Tsoo I could be last year!"
Hu Dei yelped in surprise. "The floor just got waxed in here, go clean your shoes off!"
"But I'm in astral form," Mary Tsoo said.
"It's, eh, spiritual pollution, so go shuffle your feet on the mat over there. If you went through the Woods of Despair, your feet will be all icky and disgusting."
"Silly old wizard," Mary Tsoo said. "I came here so you could tell me the secret to being the best Mary Tsoo I can be for this year!"
"Right, right," Hu Dei said. He turned his back to Mary Tsoo and cast his eyes skyward. "YOU never told me I'd have people like HER to deal with! Do you suppose this is funny? Some kind of joke, this?" he whispered. He then turned back around, smiling and stroking his beard. "Now, what can I, Hu Dei, the Mystical Overseer of the Universe do for you?"
"I want to be the best Mary Tsoo I can be!" Mary Tsoo said. "I'm already pretty and smart, but what can I do to be a good neighbor and crimefighter?"
With a silent "Why, you..." to his supervisor, Hu Dei sighed raggedly. "Being the best Mary Tsoo is what you want, is it? What, you don't think you're the best now?"
"Didn't Confucius say that a righteous man can always find some new way to improve himself?"
"What, do I look like some kind of authority on Confucius?" Hu Dei said in court robes. "You want an authority on Confucius, you want to go to a college or somesuch, nu?"
"But I already went to college on another full-ride scholarship to get my fourth Ph.D.," Mary Tsoo said. "I mean, you can only go to college so many times before you turn 18! So, can you tell me what I can do to be a better person next year?"
"Stop it with the questions! That much you can do for me! If you want to improve yourself, fine, go find your own path or something, but enough with the bothering me in my Arcane Sanctuary! It's not enough that I keep the mystic forces of evil at bay for you, is it? You want I should tell you how to make your own life good, too? You ask too much of me!"
Mary Tsoo tilted her head to one side, then seemed to get it. "Right! That's what I'll do! I'll go out and spread what I know to everyone! Everyone can benefit from shared knowledge! Thanks, Hu Dei! You're pretty nice for a grouchy old sorcerer!"
Hu Dei waved his hands in front of him. "No, that's not what I-- oh, go ahead and bother everyone else. It's not like you listen to an old man like me."
Mary Tsoo smiled. "Thank you, Hu Dei!" she said as her spirit skipped happily out of the castle. Once again, Mary Tsoo's year was set. She'd help people by giving them the benefit of her knowledge. She returned her spirit to her body, and then adjusted the rose-tinted glasses on the bridge of her nose.
This was going to be Mary Tsoo's Greatest Year Ever, just like last year.
Back Yard Boom - Emo Catgirl - Cobalt Claymore - Hephaestus 1
Avatar by Scarf_Girl!
Mick Heller watched the blue girl throw the book out into the water. She had stood for a few moments looking at it -- not reading it, because it wasn't open -- then she flung it, frisbee style, out into the waves. He watched as she stood a bit longer until the book disappeared beneath the rolling green ocean, after which she waved her hands around and created some sort of ice-slide and skated away on it.
Mick wasn't somebody special. He didn't work for any of the factions that controlled Etoile. He didn't have any super powers. He was just a teenaged boy with a mild case of acne and little peach fuzz on his face. He was also on the swim team at his high school in Cap Au Diable.
As soon as he was sure the blue girl wasn't going to double back, he swam out to the spot where the book had sunk, and, after a while of diving and fighting the tide, he found it.
Mick panted as he trudged through the breakers and collapsed exhausted on the beach. When he had caught his breath, he looked at the prize he had fought the currents over.
The book was bound in black, fake leather with no title either on the cover or on the spine. It's pages were edged in gold, like his mother's Bible, but it wasn't as thick as that. The miniature padlock that held it shut told him what kind of book it was -- a diary. The blue ice-girl's diary.
Mike easily broke the small, flimsy clasp that was meant to secure the diary against prying eyes, then riffled through the damp pages. The ink was smearing, but if he was careful, he was sure it would still be readable.
He looked around once more, and, seeing no one, turned to the first page...
Jan. 8, 2008
Dear Diary...
Jan. 8, 2008
Dear Diary,
So much has happened in the past two days, I don't know where to begin. I don't know exactly what has happened to me. I only know that I was going to the hospital to visit mom one minute and the next, I'm in some sort of hi-tech lab. This robot lady and her big boyfriend (he wasn't a robot -- sick), they
I don't want to talk about that. Forget that. I'll white it all out later. I'm starting here where things got better.
After Tabby and I got away from that lab, we ran all over Port Oakes, trying to make our way back to Cap, where I live (or used to live -- don't want to talk about that either). Port Oakes isn't as nice a place as Cap. Plus I didn't know my way around. Tabby did, but she's alot faster than me because she's a synthetic person and has uber powers. I can only make popcicles. So getting around without somebody trying to hit me or hit on me or do something else I'd rather not think about was hard.
We tried to get on the ferry, but they wanted money or tokens and I had neither. Tabby took me to a warehouse and told me to hide there and wait for her. Then she went off by herself. I didn't know it at the time, but she went out and found this guy she knew who could hook her up with a "job". (Yes, I know I used quote marks, but that's the kind of "job" it was. Like a bank "job" or a kidnapping "job".)
I was alone in that warehouse and decided to practice my powers. I shot icecicles at rats and after a while I got pretty good at hitting them. I wasn't killing them though. At first they ran away, but when I kept shooting icecicles at them, they got really mad. I guess there were about twenty or thirty of them. They started chasing me, so I ran.
It didn't take long for them to corner me between some crates. I don't know if rats are smart like that, or if these were some sort of mutant rats, but it seemed like they chased me right where they wanted me to be.
I started crying. (Yah, I know. Not the most noble thing to do in that situation, but you would cry too if you were about to be eaten by rats.) My hear heart was beating like a thousand beats a minute. And then the rats all sort of stopped moving. Most of them anyway. Some of them started moving really slow, crawling away. I hadn't realized it, but when I got trapped, my adrenaline shot up and my icecicle powers froze the whole room. There were ice crystals on the floor.
I thought that was all pretty cool until I started to walk away. Then I slipped on my own ice and busted my own [censored].
It took a while, but I limped back to the spot where Tabby had left me and waited for her. I was starting to get worried that she had ditched me when she showed up about two hours later. She had money. Yay!
We took Tabby's money down to the ferry, but before we got there, this spider stopped us. He told us we had to pay a toll to walk down the dock to board the boat. We asked, "how much?" and he asked, "how much you got."
Then he took all our money.
Tabby said something about killing him later, and I think she was kidding, but there was a new spider in his place on the dock a couple days later.
Anyway, we went back to that warehouse and found a spot for me to sleep while Tabby went downstairs where she said she had seen some abandoned equipment she could use.
The next morning (which is today!), we were still in Port Oakes and Tabby had built two cool big robots.
More later...
*Hephaestus 1 is seen at what looks to be some kind of dimly-lit auto showroom with an entourage of his fellow Mecha-Americans from the recent COMMA meeting. He also looks a bit apprehensive just to be there.*
Android-1: Waitress! This unit demands the finest in ethane-based inebriants for my companions!
R1v1th3d: WH0000! FR33B1RD! T4K3 17 0FF! *lights up a flamethrower, sending the robotic waitstaff scurrying*
Heph: Guys, seriously, this isn't what you said it would be. I thought we were going to an auto show.
Steamdriver: *pfft* But-Heph-we-said-we'd-be-checking-out-some-fine-pieces-off-chassis-assemblies! *hssssss* We-said-nothing-about-automobiles. *pfft*
Heph: Yeah, well, you never said anything about this either.
*A rather, erm, "aerodynamic" robot struts out onto the stage and begins removing its custom decals to the beat of some kind of industrial track*
Android-1: Excellent! That's a well-milled gynoid structure, and this unit would certainly enjoy the deburring process with that unit!
R1v1th3d: H4Y GUY5! 1'M G3771NG DRUNXX0RZ!
Steamdriver: *FFFFFT* Aww-yeah-shake-that-credit-transactional-device-your-manufacturer-added-as-part-of-option-package-1.0! *PFFT*
Heph: Oh dear Lord, why did I volunteer to be the designated driver?
*The screen goes black*
Watch Serv'd! Because it's better than a robot bachelor party.
Friday nights at 9 Eastern, only on A&E.
*The screen goes back to Hephaestus 1, who is being chatted up by one of the robot staff.*
Robot: 10110111010111?
Heph: No, I really don't care to see what you can do with that oil can.
*The screen goes black again*
Back Yard Boom - Emo Catgirl - Cobalt Claymore - Hephaestus 1
Avatar by Scarf_Girl!
((I lolled! I was waiting for Bender to turn up! Great! 
))
"Borrring."
Mick didn't read the rest of that day's entry. In fact, he started not to read any more at all. He thought about tossing the diary back into the surf.
What had he been expecting? An insider's look at Lord Recluse's power structure? Tips on getting super-powers so that he could become one of his Lordship's Elite?
Actually, he had hoped to find some juicy details on the blue girl's sex life, but it turns out she was pretty big on the whole abstinence thing. (That last detail came about from a paragraph where she wondered if her newfound ice powers would keep her from "going all the way".)
Mick looked around, but there was still no one on the beach except for some seagulls and himself, so he turned the page and began the next entry...
Jan. 12, 2008...
Things in Pocket D had calmed down a bit since the little incident of the attempted armed robbery by three very stupid thugs.
"I really hate that Numa Numa song, whatever it's called," Arbiter Sands said, his cup of coffee still steaming. "Or maybe it's the dance. My Arachnos Drones can't do the little dance that goes with it, so maybe that's why I really hate it."
Hephaestus 1 looked over at his new sidekick, Mobius Knight. "What did Ganymede put in his coffee?"
Mobius Knight shrugged. "No idea, Heph. Whatever it is, though, it's keeping him from attacking us."
"Well," Arbiter Sands said, "I'm also not attacking you because I choose not to. I'm an Arbiter, and thus a law unto myself."
Heph's antennae twitched. "I have a question for you. Did you ever see Sylvester Stallone's version of Judge Dredd?"
Arbiter Sands scowled. "No. It's an insult to the noble rank of Arbiter."
"Rank, right. Hey, Moby, how did Sly's tagline go again?" Heph asked.
Mobius Knight smiled under his mask. "I em de laaaw!"
Heph chuckled a bit. "Right, right."
"It's a near-universal phrase, too. You can use it in all kinds of situations," the sword-swinger added. "Fighting a traffic ticket? 'I em de laaaw!' Need to get a zoning ordinance done you way? 'I em de law!' It's got lots of uses."
"So, it's the new 'I am Batman' then?" Heph asked.
"Only for Arbiters," Mobius Knight added.
Arbiter Sands grinned more. "I like you guys. Really."
Heph and Mobius Knight looked at each other with worry. What was Sands up to?
The group found their way to a vaguely secret Council facility in Faultline. "It's over this way, guys," Sands said.
"Right, so, did Ganymede tell you why he wanted the Girdle of Aphrodite?" Mobius Knight asked.
"I thought it was because even gods like to feel pretty sometimes," Heph said.
"No, it's for Ghost Widow," Sands said. "She wants to use it in order to come back from the dead."
"There's a problem with that, though," Heph said. "Apparently these mystical drawers of love only make you more appealing."
Sands raised an eyebrow over his mirrored sunglasses. "Really? So, it doesn't bring people back?"
"Nope. So, GW would still be dead, but she'd be the prettiest dead chick of them all."
"Well, Sandy, this must be the place. Apparently we can track it down through a Council computer," Heph said.
"Yeah, I could also check for it on Makoslist, the online want ads for Arbiters. There's usually something about things like this in the free section," Arbiter Sands replied. "Wouldn't that make it easier?"
Heph and Mobius Knight looked at each other.
"Well, I heard that Archon Gruber said something about your mother," Mobius Knight said quickly.
Arbiter Sands' eyebrow twitched. "Well, the Council is known for smack-talk. I ask you though: who has their own nation? Arachnos, or those astrofascist Cobra wannabes?"
"Yeah, but this was nasty," Heph said. "I mean, I'm not talking 'yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck' nasty, either."
The Arbiter smirked. "Right."
"Fine, here," Heph said as he leaned in and whispered what the Council leader was rumored to say.
First, Arbiter Sands' smirk faded. Then one eyebrow popped up over his sunglasses. Then both. "But... what would she need a dozen jai-alai baskets for?"
Heph leaned back in and whispered some more. Sands' jaw dropped.
"MY MOTHER WAS A SAINT!" he shouted as he kicked in the door and charged in, his two Arachnos drones following him quickly. "GRUBER, YOU'RE A DEAD MAN!"
Mobius Knight shook his head. "What did you say?"
"I'll tell you later," Heph said.
"No, seriously, man, what did you say?"
"You really want to know?" Heph asked.
Mobius Knight pondered it for a second, rubbing his chin. "I do, but I also fear for my sanity. I guess I'll pass."
"Good man," Heph said as he motioned towards the door. "After you, faithful sidekick."
The two heroes found themselves in a maze of twisty passages all alike, guided only by the sounds of an Arbiter who was swearing a blue streak and shooting everything in sight. Once they got to the first control center, they saw a fuming Arbiter sitting on the floor in a huff, two smashed drones at his side and Council bodies everywhere. Behind him was a computer terminal with a smoking hole where the integrated keyboard used to be.
"Problems, Sandy?" Heph asked.
"I shot the computer in my unthinking murderous rage. Then my drones laughed at me and called me dumb for shooting the computer. So I ordered them to self-destruct," the Arachnos loyalist said, still pouting.
"You're lucky we've got Heph here," Mobius Knight said. "He speaks Robot."
"But that's a Computer. I don't speak computer. '1001011010101' in Robot means something totally different in Computer," Heph explained. "I mean, sure it's just on-off switching to us, but there's a huge rift between the two cultures that mere binary code can't bridge."
"You're joking," Mobius Knight said.
"And besides, they don't like my accent."
"Accent," Mobius Knight said with disbelief. "How can ones and zeroes have an accent? You're not even speaking to each other!"
"It's context, Moby," Heph said with a shrug. "It's a Mecha-American thing. You wouldn't understand."
"Okay, now I know you're joking," the swordsman said.
"Fine, I'll go see if it has an infrared port and beam information that way."
After a few seconds of searching, Heph found a tiny IR port that hadn't been damaged. "Okay, I hope this works," he said.
Arbiter Sands and Mobius Knight stood guard while Heph stared at the IR port, transmitting and receiving information. Suddenly the lights went red and machinegun turrets popped out of the walls. A pneumatic blast door opened up, revealing a horde of Mech Men and Warcry robots, all of whom looked angry for some reason.
"You implied WHAT about our manufacturer?" the robots said in unison. "Laser weapons systems charging! Attack Mode P3W-P3W-P3w!"
"Heph," Mobius Knight said. "There are angry robots looking at us. Why are there angry robots looking at us?"
"I told you the didn't like my accent!" Heph said as he brought up his offensive systems.
The big blue cyborg led the way into the horde of laser-armed Council robots.
Back Yard Boom - Emo Catgirl - Cobalt Claymore - Hephaestus 1
Avatar by Scarf_Girl!
Now, naturally, Serv'd! runs in more than just the Paragon City, Rhode Island market. It also runs in Heph's hometown of Chicago. And as always, some of the best ads for a show come from the local cable affiliates. Let's take a look at one of Chicago's very own offerings, shall we?
((N.B., this is a half-remembered script from long ago, and features the origin of where I originally got the idea for Back Yard Boom's last name.))
----
*We see the grimy inside of a full-service auto service center, with a decrepit-looking hatchback placed forlornly in the middle of a shot. A portly man in a pair of red coveralls, a brown plaid sports jacket (with elbow patches!) a Chicago Bears ball cap, sunglasses and a mustache that would make Tom Selleck envious strolls up to the car. The caption reads "Larry Filipowicz, owner and proprietor."*
Larry: Oh, dis poor, poor car. As you c'n see, dis piece'a automotive efficiency has been put t'roo da wringer an' has come up wantin'. So, what would you do? Leave da car ta rust on some side street, its parkin' sticker faded an' gone?
*A portly woman with similar sunglasses to Larry walks up next to him. She's rather matronly and a bit too serious-looking for the hippie style of clothing she's wearing. The caption reads "Paula Filipowicz, Car Health Expert."*
Paula: If someone did dat ta dis poor car, dey oughta be took inta jail immediately an' beat with da Sunday Trib! No car oughta be resigned ta such a fate!
*Larry looks with earnest sincerity at the camera, trying not to show that he's reading from cue cards.*
Larry: An'-- we can't let dat happen! But fer a car like dis, we gotta do more'n just grind da valves, rebuild da electrical system an' put in new shocks!
Paula: Dat's right, Larry, we need ta heal da car, not just repair it! An' ta heal da car, we gotta heal da whole car.
Larry: Dat's so true, Paula. So here at--
*Larry pauses and swings his arms wide*
Larry: Larry Filipowicz's Totally Holistic Car Healin' Centre, we use a wide variety'a techniques ta bring da car healin' arts ta dere full circle. Here's some'a our techniques:
*The caption "Aromatherapy" appears.*
Larry: We start wit' a car like dis by usin' aromatherapy. Now, I'm gonna open up dis jar'a... pa... patch... *lifts up his sunglasses and squints, trying to read the psychedelic label on the canister* ...pachowski ta help center da car an' hide any scent'a fuel line leaks.
*Larry pops open the canister and gags, dropping it on the floor and spilling the contents.*
Larry: Jeez-O-Pete, Paula, it smells like yer sister Moonbeam exploded in here!
Paula: Dat's why we also use our famous Sweat Garage technique ta draw out any poisons inna car, an' fer dat we add da power'a sage!
*the scene shifts to one of Larry beating on a bongo drum and Paula dancing sullenly and seriously around the car with a tambourine*
Paula: C'maaaaahn, car! Open up ta da inner universe dat is yer soooooul!
*The car honks twice and a light beams out of the middle of the hood*
Larry: Dere! We opened da car's t'ird headlight! Now it can unnerstan' da t'ings we're gonna do ta make it a well car again.
*The scene shifts to another car, where Larry, Paula, and a concerned-looking man in neutral colors is holding a scale model of the car in front of it. The caption says "Individual Counseling by a Licensed Car Counseling Expert.*
Counselor: Can you show us on the transmission where your first driver driver said he was "making adjustments?"
*The car's alarm system sets off, its headlights blinking wildly*
Counselor: It's okay. I understand. You're not ready for this, but I think we've made a real breakthrough today.
*The scene shifts back to a mechanic who appears to be sprinkling blood on the hood of the car. Larry stands in front of the scene as the mechanic swallows a bottle of something, then uses a torch to blow fire around the car.*
Larry: Our ASE-certified witch-mechanics can rid yer car'a any kinda evil spirits! Whether it's a simple thing as castin' out imps ta full-on Satanic takeovers, here at Larry Filipowicz's, we can make yer car whole once more!
*The car behind Larry starts honking and spraying transmission fluid from its headlights as the mechanic calls in for backup. A team of Greek Orthodox and Roman Catholic priests start blessing the car and it seems to be calming down. It begins to thrash violently again, and one of the priests flings open the hood and drives a stake through its alternator. The car goes silent and the mechanic walks up cautiously, poking it with a ratchet extension.*
Larry: Phew! Dat was a close one! I haven't seen a car do dat since da last time we got a '64 Dodge Dart in here! Seems we had da ghost'a a little ol' lady who drove it on weekends at da Joliet Speedway tryin' ta make it run again.
Paula: You bet, Larry. Dere's no cost to great ta pay fer a properly workin' car. An' in honor'a da Lenten season, everybody from da Archdiocese can come in fer a free St. Christopher medal or a free caricature'a dere car by da ghost'a Ed Roth fer da nonbelievers. Though Ed'll prob'ly give a picture ta anyone who wants one... he's nice like dat now dat he's onna other side.
Larry: So come on down ta Larry Filipowicz's Totally Holistic Car Healin' Centre! We Heal Da Whole Car!
Disclaimer Voiceover: Car healing services extra with purchase of basic diagnostic and oil change package. Larry Filipowicz's Totally Holistic Car Healing Centre is not responsible for misdiagnoses based on being given improper information about the vehicle's current spiritual state. Note: depending on car's preferences, resurrection and/or reincarnation services may not be available. Always check with your car first.
*the screen switches to the next commercial*
Back Yard Boom - Emo Catgirl - Cobalt Claymore - Hephaestus 1
Avatar by Scarf_Girl!
=o.0=
Part of Sister Flame's Clickey-Clack Posse
The English language is an intricate high-speed precision tool.Stop using it to bang open coconuts. ~Tokamak
Dark_Respite's Video page
What can I say? My CoHverse is just a bit weirder than the regular one.
Back Yard Boom - Emo Catgirl - Cobalt Claymore - Hephaestus 1
Avatar by Scarf_Girl!
For a chilly March day, Heph had to admit that it was a stupid idea. This photographer, Jimmy, had a weird idea of doing holiday-themed public relations stills for the show. So what was the deal with St. Patrick's Day?
"Hey, you're Irish, right?" Jimmy asked.
"Yeah, Southside Irish," Heph said. "The best St. Paddy's parade in Chicago is the Southside Irish one."
"Yeah, yeah" Jimmy said. "And since your family is from Ireland, and it's St. Patrick's Day, you ought to go for something ethnic. Something that shows heritage. I think that'd be suuuuper for this photoshoot."
Heph's newly-added cybernetic eyebrow raised up. "Ethnic costume, huh?"
"Hey, why have you got an eyebrow over one of your eyes?" Jimmy asked.
"Easy," Heph said. "That way I can give people a 'what did you just say?' look now. See?"
"Heh, suuuuper," Jimmy said. "So, what's with the look?"
"Are you sure you want me to go ethnic on this?" Heph asked.
"Why not? People like people who aren't afraid to wear traditional old world clothing. It'll be good for publicity," Jimmy said.
"Fine," Heph sighed. "I'll get something put together at Icon."
The next day, Heph found himself at the Independence Port Icon, speaking with Lauren, the head of design. She walked around him a few times, the stiletto heels on her boots clacking on the floor. She paused, put her hand on her hip and gestured to the tailors.
"He says to 'go ethnic,' yes?" Lauren asked.
"Yeah, and can I make a suggestion?" Heph asked in reply.
"Well, I can't guarantee we'll use it, but go ahead," Lauren said.
Heph leaned in and whispered something in her ear, causing Lauren to grin wickedly from ear to ear. She spun on her heel and clapped her hands twice.
"SEAMSMINIONS! FRONT AND CENTER!" she shouted.
At once a squad of junior tailors and seamstresses appeared, notepads and pens in hand. Heph yelped in surprise and jumped at their sudden appearance.
"GAH! They're like fashion ninjas!" the big blue cyborg said.
"Hephaestus 1, our client has come up with a delicious idea for his current sartorial dilemma. It is up to us, the tailors of Icon, to make this suggestion a reality!" Lauren said while pacing, her heels still clacking on the floor. "His photographer wants 'ethnic costume,' and 'ethnic costume' he shall get! Who will stand with me on this project?"
The tailors and seamstresses cheered in agreement.
"Men and women of Icon! Tonight we dine... at SCARLATTI'S ITALIAN BISTRO!"
Tape measures and chalk markers were raised above heads as the cheering resumed.
Heph's eyebrow of surprise raised again. The tailors swarmed him as Lauren looked on with approval. The fitting room of the store became a flurry of activity as fabrics, colors and embroidery patterns were compared against the blue metal and ceramic that made up Heph's skin. Finally, the creation was done.
"Brilliant!" Heph said as he admired their handiwork. "I wish I could get a hat, though. It would complete the look."
"Yes, but it would be impossible to keep it on your head without gluing it there," Lauren said. "So no, no hat."
Heph walked out of the store later, clad in his new tactical lederhosen. The suspenders for his short leather trousers had been upgraded from a standard leather brace to something that could carry ammunition and other immediately necessary supplies. The red and gold piping on the shirt's collar and cuffs matched up with the tie, and a sturdy pair of "Bunyan 3000" hiking/combat boots completed the look.
"Go ethnic, he says," Heph said with glee, "Too bad he never specified which ethnicity to use..."
Inside the clothing shop, Lauren put her finishing touches on the new "Raiderhosen" line of fashions. She knew from speaking to numerous heroes that the Rikti feared Bavarians, so this was sure to be a hit the next time U'kon G'rai sent his troops out from their mothership. This time, the Rikti would know that their deepest fears were revealed to the world. And maybe this time, the Rikti would leave once and for all.
Back Yard Boom - Emo Catgirl - Cobalt Claymore - Hephaestus 1
Avatar by Scarf_Girl!
[<falls over laughing>]
Part of Sister Flame's Clickey-Clack Posse
The English language is an intricate high-speed precision tool.Stop using it to bang open coconuts. ~Tokamak
Dark_Respite's Video page
((LMAO))