((Introducing my newest Tanker, The Pipewrench.))
I guess ya can call me late for dinner. I'd rather ya call me Pipewrench, though. That's what everybody called me back then. I dunno if any'a the old gang's still around. If so, I haven't seen 'em.
Eh, a kid like you probably never heard 'bout me unless ya lived in Kings or Brickstown or what do they call it now, Galaxy City? Back in the day we called it Paragon Heights. Looks like I missed the news 'bout it gettin' renamed. Where was I? Oh, right. Ya asked 'bout me.
Most folks in Kings called me "Pipewrench." Well, as a plumber an' pipefitter I suppose it made sense. I always had one with me, an' I was always on call. I had my own business. "Pipewrench Plumbing." Yeah, I'm the king'a imagination. Things were goin' good. I got back from Korea in '52 after the second hitch where my country asked me ta fight. Hey, I was still young enough ta go, I don't care what the guy at the Reserves office had ta say. So, by '55, my business was boomin'.
I had a radio ad that played all the time on WPWN. That was a great station, they always played the stuff I liked. I hear all they do is news now. How can ya have that much news ta fill an entire day? The least they could do is play me Perez Prado or Rosemary Clooney every so often, huh? But anyway, they all called Pipewrench Plumbing if they wanted their work done right. "REgent 5-7199, Pipewrench is there in the nick of time!"
Hey, just be glad I didn't sing it for ya, huh?
So, I'm workin' on the big burger stove in the Lake House at Perez Park-- whattayamean "It's closed?" First these great big walls, an' now I can't get a Double-Triple Burger at the Lake House? Geez, is anything left from back then?
Well, like I said. I was fixin' their stove one day when a fella who goes by the name'a "Loaded Dice" Verandi comes in tryin' ta lean on the proprietor. It was a protection racket, the usual crap. Anyways, the guy who ran the Lake House said "no dice." Oh, that ticked Verandi off! So he pulls out a stolen Police Magnum like the FBI useta use (except the G-Men didn't steal their guns) and says he's gonna put a round in the gas line an' blow the place sky high if the owner don't pay up.
I get up from under the stove an' ask Verandi what his beef is with the Lake House an' he starts shovin' that gun in my face. He goes "Who're you, tough guy?"
Stupid mook didn't even see my big blue wrench clobberin' him upside his head. I took him off his feet an' outta his fancy shoes, that's how hard I hit him! So, yeah, I get my name in the paper an' all, but everybody calls me "The Pipewrench" now 'cause I hit some no-account thug from a no-account family with my best wrench.
So, yeah, the Verandis grabbed me outta my truck one night an' tried ta rough me up. I told 'em I didn't back down from the Wehrmacht or Red Chinese an' I wouldn't back down from no... well, it's not polite ta say that stuff about people's heritage anymore, I guess. They didn't take the hint so I smacked one guy with the wrench. He dropped like a slaughtered bull. Two of 'em rush me an' they drop, too. The last guy, though. I wind up like Ted Williams and WHACK! His head shoulda gone a hundred feet. He just stood there an' smiled. So I whack him again, an' nothin'. That's when I dig out the gun I pulled off'a Verandi and put two slugs into this guy. That got his attention. So, he gets ready ta knock me inta next week, right?
That's when I wake up in some egghead's Lab of Tomorrow or whatever. I still got my wrench with me an' this guy's blabbin' at me how I gotta "disengage the chronal rassenfratz" or somethin'. Next thing I know he's handin' me this silver-lookin' space suit thing an' sayin' I gotta wear it fer the next week while my temporeal status is verified an' some kinda potential is discharged. Like I wanna look like Captain Video? Well, I humor the guy. C'mon, he's a scientist, they're all screwy, but ya gotta be nice ta screwy people as long as they don't try nothin', right?
So he tells me "Just so ya know, it's 2007." I asked him "So, when's the next rocket ta the moonbase?" an' he tells me there's no moonbase. He fills me in on all kinds'a stuff, though.
Mind you, all I'm thinkin' 'bout is Doris, my one an' only. So I ask if he's got a dime fer the payphone an' he hands me a... cellphone, right? Yeah, cellphone. I still think ya oughta call 'em Space Phones, somethin' futuristic. They'll sell better. I call my old business number. It's some fancy-schmancy steakhouse now. I call home ta see if Doris is there an' get some lady with one'a them calypso accents. Y'know, like Jamaica or Cuba or...
Wait. Ya mean the relief pitcher? Him? He took over Cuba?What's next, a Catholic President? Like that'll ever-
Oh. Huh. Whattayaknow.
Anyways this lady says that Doris don't live there anymore. Hasn't been there since they carried her outta the apartment. Said she'd been dead fer two weeks when they found her. Some thug in a skeleton mask broke in an' when she gave him both barrels about what she thought about guys like him, he gave her both barrels of a shotgun. They found the guy an' he was doin' time in the Zig until the last big breakout.
Well, I hear that an' I gotta have a beer. So, I head ta the KC Hall by St. Florian's. Buncha young guys. Nobody I know is there. I find out that we got invaded by the Riktese or somethin' an' they all went out ta keep the Row safe. None of 'em came back alive. The other guys I knew didn't go only 'cause they'd already died.
My Doris is gone. My buddies from the Knights are gone. I got no house or apartment in my name, no business ta call mine. All I got is a wrench from my toolbox an' the old business office at the Hall ta call home.
What in the hell am I gonna do now?
Back Yard Boom - Emo Catgirl - Cobalt Claymore - Hephaestus 1
Avatar by Scarf_Girl!
Okay angry posters
im off for a couple of hours so grow a spine and come after me when im not posting ill be sure to read each n every post and respond accordingly
as far as trolling...nope read the rules its not
moderators...im not the one cussing look at other posters
if they were payinmg attention some of u would be banned
and grow a sense of humor ill lend u the pin to deflate your overextended ego
TC
as Ood Sigma said....We will sing to you, Doctor. The universe will sing you to your sleep. This song is ending. But the story never ends.
Friday night arrived right on time, and Tommy Pachowski whistled a happy tune while finishing the knot in his tie. He finally had a Friday night off from both his job and his hero patrols. He could finally take his girlfriend Saya out to dinner at that new Brazilian Steakhouse in Skyway City. All this time he and Saya had been together, and they never had an actual dinner date. Well, tonight he could do that.
He heard a knock on his door. His sister was ready for another night of patrolling now that her homework was done.
"Hey, doofus," Claire said from under her Emo Catgirl makeup, "Can you check and see if I have any stray hairs? I don't want any getting into my eyes anymore."
"Nah, ya look fine, squirt," Tommy said. "Oh, yeah. Do a function check on yer fight gloves fer me, okay?"
"Fine," the girl said as she extended the weapons in her gloves. Where she used to see three large blades extend from the back of her hand, she found them replaced with a large flat blade.
"OmigodTommyyoudidityoudidityoudidit!" Claire squeaked. "These are so cool!"
"Heh. Now ya can wail on katar," the young man punned.
"I'll kill you later for that, Tommy," Claire said with a grin. "Well, I have to go now."
"What 'bout yer cat ears? Didja forget 'em?"
Claire shook her head. "I'm not going to wear them anymore."
Tommy blinked. "Kinda tough ta be Emo Catgirl if yer not at least a catgirl, right?"
Claire shrugged. "That's my name, but it's not really what I am, now, is it?"
"True. Yer just a hero's little sister," Tommy said with a grin.
Claire stuck her tongue out at her big brother. "You go have a date with your giiiirlfriend," she said, smirking. "While you're busy ignoring the suffering of others, I'll be picking up your slack."
Claire rushed out of Tommy's room, laughing and dodging a sweatsock thrown at her.
Back Yard Boom - Emo Catgirl - Cobalt Claymore - Hephaestus 1
Avatar by Scarf_Girl!
(( just sticking this here because i know heroid will see it. Hey clear some PMs it says your at your limit again. the price you pay for being popular :P sorry about the fluff i hope Eisregen doesn't kill me))
"I couldn't think of a better place to meet you, Mother," Todd said as he set foot on the rocky ledge that overlooked the ocean. "Striga Island was the first place that popped into mind."
"Is that your little way to call me a witch, son?" Mother Aoi said as she and her ninja boydguard walked forward to meet her son. Instead of the usual ninja garb, the warlord wore one of her more formal kimonos, nothing but deep shades of blue with the Maehara family's crest woven into the outer robe. "I know your friends hate me, but the least you could do is show a little respect to the woman who gave birth to you."
"Actually, I thought of this island because it's a lot like your home in Japan. It's just that your home has ninjas and shadows instead of astrofascists, gangsters, and hordes of undead," Todd said.
"You did not call me here for the view," Mother Aoi said. "You found something, didn't you?"
Todd looked out over the ocean. "It has come to my attention that Dad had some various numbered bank accounts around the world. I now have the information that will grant me access to the accounts as well."
"I suspected as much," Mother Aoi said, lying through her teeth. "And what business is it of mine?"
"Well, for starters, it's in St. Martial. You know the area better than I do. You also have better contacts for getting whatever is in there smuggled back here," Todd said. "You have information I need."
"Then the price is that you abandon your friends, your girlfriend and your heroic life, and return to Japan with me to take a proper bride and inherit the leadership of the family," Mother Aoi said. "I don't care about what little baubles might be in a safety deposit box or how much is in what account. I want to ensure the future of the House of Secrets. You will lead, and years from now your children will lead."
"No. You can clean out the vault for all I care," Todd said, "but I will not give up what I already have. I love Marie and-"
His mother interrupted. "Yes, and that's why you were shopping for a ring a few days ago."
The young hero kicked a rock out into the ocean. "That wasn't the only reason I was at the jeweler's. Yes, I was looking for something for Christmas for Marie, that much is true. I was also trying to find out what was inside that rosary bead. It was an account number for the St. Martial Banking Enclave. I'm willing to give you some of it for helping get the rest of it out without a hitch."
A fan slid out of Mother Aoi's sleeve and she popped it open with a snap and flutter. "No. I have already given you my terms. You'll return with me to learn how to lead our organization. You'll transfer to a proper university, then take a wife from among the prospects I have lined up. Then you'll take over the family business. There is no bargaining."
Todd spun around to face his mother and her guards. "Then you're not getting anything, whether it's me or whatever Dad left behind."
The young hero did not expect for his mother to rush forward and hug him. He went for a knife, only to find one of her guards preventing him from completing the draw.
Mother Aoi held her son tightly, putting her head on his chest. "You are the only link I have to your father that's worth anything. I want to keep you safe until the time comes for you to lead the family."
Todd wormed his way out of his mother's grip. "That's not going to happen. And I suggest that you stay out of my way when I come to collect what Dad left me."
"My son, you know the power and privilege that awaits you. Come and take your birthright."
"I knew this was a waste of time," Todd said, "but I had to see it through anyway. Goodbye, Mom."
The young man who was the Cobalt Claymore leapt away, trailing spiderweb-thin tendrils of shadow that led back to Mother Aoi's fingers. She smiled behind her fan.
"He will return to me for help, and he will accept my terms. My son has no choice."
Back Yard Boom - Emo Catgirl - Cobalt Claymore - Hephaestus 1
Avatar by Scarf_Girl!
((interesting! This is very interesting! *popcorn*))
((Heh. It hasn't even been a year since she kidnapped him and tried forcing him to join the family. That led to a fun little night in the PVP zones.))
Back Yard Boom - Emo Catgirl - Cobalt Claymore - Hephaestus 1
Avatar by Scarf_Girl!
((this will end well....not. 
))
[I'll wait and see. I think it'll end well, but in the very long run]
Part of Sister Flame's Clickey-Clack Posse
The English language is an intricate high-speed precision tool.Stop using it to bang open coconuts. ~Tokamak
Dark_Respite's Video page
[ QUOTE ]
[I'll wait and see. I think it'll end well, but in the very long run]
[/ QUOTE ]
((Son of a swashbuckling hero with a mean streak vs. his evil ninja MILF of a mother? There's gonna be lots of fighting involved.))
Back Yard Boom - Emo Catgirl - Cobalt Claymore - Hephaestus 1
Avatar by Scarf_Girl!
[To me? that's a happy ending!]
Part of Sister Flame's Clickey-Clack Posse
The English language is an intricate high-speed precision tool.Stop using it to bang open coconuts. ~Tokamak
Dark_Respite's Video page
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[I'll wait and see. I think it'll end well, but in the very long run]
[/ QUOTE ]
((Son of a swashbuckling hero with a mean streak vs. his evil ninja MILF of a mother? There's gonna be lots of fighting involved.))
[/ QUOTE ]
((MILF? Shouldn't that be VILF ? 
))
((She would be, but Mother Aoi has two sons, the Cobalt Claymore and another who went missing a while back. The M stays.))
Back Yard Boom - Emo Catgirl - Cobalt Claymore - Hephaestus 1
Avatar by Scarf_Girl!
Hephaestus 1 and Larry McGonigle sat at Larry's desk in the Rhode Island District Courts building. Heph was drumming his giant metal fingers on the desk, his head propped up in the other hand. Larry was surfing the internet.
"Man," Heph said, "I'm bored. We haven't gotten any papers to serve for a couple of days now."
Larry looked over at his big blue cyborg companion. "You're bored? You have no idea what I'm going through. I haven't been to the Paragon Film Partners Studio in five weeks! We were supposed to have two movies in the can by now!"
"Uhm, you're not supposed to be filming in bathrooms. At least I don't think you are," Heph said.
"You know what I meant!" Larry snapped. "At this rate, Brick Landers' greatest film to date, "Brick Landers IS Brick Mendacious in SORORITY SAUNA GLADIATORS 2!" will never be finished."
"Sorority Sauna Gladiators?" Heph asked.
"It's a historical film. I play the tough-but-well-meaning third assistant oil-warmer, Ammonius Vindex. Brick Landers wanted to do a film that captured the gritty essence of the lives of gladiators in the later Roman Empire."
"So, instead of guys in helmets and speedos hacking each other with swords, he's showing it through college-aged girls who have towel-snapping fights in a steam room?" Heph asked.
"Yes, it's very avant-garde," Larry answered.
"Right."
"Some of the scenes are graphically intense, so it's not for kids," Larry added.
Heph just stared at Larry.
"What?"
"Look, Larry, I'm going to be direct once more to you. Your company produces low-budget schlock films. The fact that this one will be nothing but women in various states of undress will never change the fact that your company makes lousy movies."
"Well, our writers-"
"Writers? HA!" Heph said. "You've got some kid who scribbles something down on a napkin and then passes it to Brick. Brick, being like the object after which he is named, then proceeds to not understand what the movie about and just makes stuff up. This isn't writing. It's a sham!"
Larry's eyes narrowed. "You'll see, O'Flannagan. When I'm at the Academy Awards making my acceptance speech for Best Supporting Actor, I'll be sure to point out how jealous you are."
"See, here's where I wish I could smile," Heph said. "Guess who's up for an Emmy for 'Best Non-Intelligence-Insulting Reality Series?' Oh, wait, that'd be MY show!"
"So, there's a 'Best Intelligence-Insulting Reality Show' award out there?" Larry asked.
"Yes. It looks like VH1, MTV, E! and Fox all have seven or eight nominees each."
"Wow. Competitive field," Larry said.
"All I'm saying is that even when I get stuck with the stupid cases, I try to show that living an honest and humble life will not get you busted for making an [censored] of yourself on television. It's not the greatest of moral lessons, but it's one that more people should heed," Heph said. "My show is leaps and bounds better than the other crap on tv."
"What shows are you going up against?" Larry asked.
"Well, there's 'Phone Jockey,' showing life in a call center and 'Math In Action,' where Number Cruncher goes on the road to teach people what kinds of math and science they use every day, often without knowing it," Heph said. "Did you know he was an actual calculus professor prior to becoming a superhero? I'm going to have a tough time against his show."
Larry kept surfing. "It says here the front runners for the other category are 'Countess Crey Laughs At Poor People,' 'Rikti Swap,' 'My Daddy Is Rich and Buys Me Stuff You Can't Afford So Screw You, Peasant,' 'Not Having Reservations at Expensive Restaurants Is Just Like Being Homeless,' 'Silicone Breasts, Silicon Brain: The Life of Robo-Stripper,' 'Sanctimonious Man Is Superior And Knows How You Should Live,' 'I Have No Talent And I Must Be On Screen,' and 'Who Wants to Eat Through a Straw?' Wow. Those just don't sound very good."
"And yet people watch them," Heph said.
Larry clicked something on the screen. "Hey, it's Mitch and Clem! They did one of those silent protest videos."
Heph looked at the screen, watching his camera and sound man as they ranted and raved for this internet video. Heph clicked on the computer's speakers and both he and Larry were bombarded by a profanity-laced tirade heretofore unheard by most of the District Courts staff. One of the women in the office ran for the bathroom, covering her ears.
"No, man, you just had the sound off," Heph said. "Mitch and Clem aren't into symbolic gestures unless it's flipping someone off."
"You have a point," Larry said as he turned the speakers down. "Hey, it's time for lunch. Let's hit Steers and Beers. I want a steak."
Heph nodded as he stood up. "Yeah, sounds good to me."
The two men walked out of the office and into the winter weather.
Back Yard Boom - Emo Catgirl - Cobalt Claymore - Hephaestus 1
Avatar by Scarf_Girl!
((Want an idea of what the average Paragon City cable viewer sees during the local tv sponsorship sections of commercial breaks? No? Too bad, here it is anyway)
*The scene opens with a standard view of the front of a local shoe store. Suddenly, an Asian gentleman of indeterminate age leaps into the shot flamboyantly, his shimmery turquoise suit and sparkly green shoes reflecting sunlight like an annoying blue-green disco ball.*
"Hi! I... am THE AMAZING CHEN and I invite you to shop at THE AMAZING CHEN'S BIG AND FREAKY SHOE STORE!"
*The Amazing Chen throws down a smoke bomb and as the smoke fades, the camera is now inside a TARDIS-like shoe store. Shoes of all shapes and sizes line the acres and acres of racks and displays. The Amazing Chen continues his tour.*
"Many of you may have heard of me, THE AMAZING CHEN, during my career as a stage magician and private eye. I've given all that up to pursue my dream hobby of creating and selling THE GREATEST SHOES KNOWN TO HEROKIND!"
*To demonstrate, The Amazing Chen picks up a solid red pair of pumps that are about as big as his forearm.*
"LADIES! Having trouble finding the styles you want in your size? Well, as you can see, these -oof!- dainty size 3s made for Gigantina are SIMPLY PERFECT for that night of crimefighting and looking SO GOOD! Whatever you say your shoe size is, ladies, WE WILL MAKE IT FIT!"
*The Amazing Chen puts the shoes back on the stand, which collapses under the weight of the shoes.*
"And the MATERIALS! Oh, the materials! Worried that your shoes won't match that perfect dress you just HAD TO HAVE? Try our new REFRACTO genetically engineered shoe leather!"
*A message on the screen flashes: 100% Cruelty-Free! (to non-Rikti)*
"With REFRACTO technology, there's no need for stinky dyes or embarrassing mishaps that make your skin all blotchy! Just use the patented REFRACTO-WAND to make your shoes EXPLODE WITH COLOR!"
*The Amazing Chen taps a shoe with his Refracto-Wand while standing daintily on one tiptoe*
"REFRACTO!"
*The shoe changes from black patent leather to a medium blue. He taps it again.*
"Even the texture changes, too! REFRACTO!"
*The shoe changes from a smooth dark blue to a natural alligator skin, if natural alligator skin was glittery pink. The Amazing Chen turns to the screen, still smiling.*
"They look good, feel good and are rated NJIA Level IV for small arms resistance! Top THAT, Prada!"
*The Amazing Chen spins around and disappears, only to re-appear in the Men's Department.*
"Don't think I, THE AMAZING CHEN, would EVER leave my gentleman clients in the lurch!"
*A picture appears of a giant pit marked "The Lurch" with an arrow that says "You are here" pointing to the bottom.*
"I have all the latest styles, colors and fabrics! I even include my new REFRACTO FOR MEN line in this year's selection!"
*A combat boot appears first in black, then shifts to white arctic camouflage, then to MARPAT digital camo, then to sunburst yellow with red flames rising from the soles.*
"We've even got hard-to-find styles such as these!"
*A list appears: Winged Boots, Rocket Boots, Piston Boots, Pistov Boots (ha ha, a little shoe-industry joke), Nike, Bridgestone, and Michelin Speedster Soles*
"And ATTENTION, robots and full-conversion cyborgs! Have WE got a DEAL FOR YOU! Our Mechanical Transport Service Center can do full cyberpodiatry as well as rotating and replacing worn soles! Just ask one of our satisfied customers!"
*Hephaestus 1 appears on screen. He uses the help-I-am-being-forced-to-read-cue-cards voice*
"Hello. I am Hephaestus 1. I star in a reality show. On A and E. Here at--"
*Hephaestus 1 opens his arms wide to draw attention to the store, and still speaks in a monotone.*
"The Amazing Chen's Big and Freaky Shoe Store, I can make a one stop shop for all my foot fashion needs. Which are not many because of my big metal feet. Ha. Ha."
*The Amazing Chen appears in a puff of smoke with his arms wrapped around Heph's neck like he's some kind of turquoise man-cape. He pops his head up from behind Heph and continues.*
"Ha ha INDEED, Hephaestus 1! While we may be kings of witty banter, our prices are NO JOKE!"
*The Amazing Chen winks in an exaggerated manner, while Heph's head mounted searchlamps tap out "Help. Being hugged by scary magician in ugly suit. Send beer and girlfriend. Hurry." in Morse Code. The Amazing Chen continues:*
"So come on down to THE AMAZING CHEN'S BIG AND FREAKY SHOE STORE! Our savings-"
*Golden confetti falls in from above the shot. Heph's lights tap out "S-O-S. I need an adult. I need an adult. S-O-S." The Amazing Chen finishes.*
"- ARE NO ILLUSION!"
*The commercial ends with a still shot of The Amazing Chen's Big and Freaky Shoe Store, with its listing of an address (in a very tony part of Talos Island), phone number, and website.*
Back Yard Boom - Emo Catgirl - Cobalt Claymore - Hephaestus 1
Avatar by Scarf_Girl!
[<falls out of her chair laughing at the ad>]
Part of Sister Flame's Clickey-Clack Posse
The English language is an intricate high-speed precision tool.Stop using it to bang open coconuts. ~Tokamak
Dark_Respite's Video page
((Gold))
[ QUOTE ]
"Hi! I... am THE AMAZING CHEN and I invite you to shop at THE AMAZING CHEN'S BIG AND FREAKY SHOE STORE!"
[/ QUOTE ]
Valor never misses the annual "Big and Freaky Shoe Sale at the Big and Freaky Shoe Store!" Although it's often a toss-up whether she's going for the shoes or the free donuts...
Any opinions expressed above are merely the poster's own and do not necessarily coincide with the goals or beliefs of the Secret Ruling Forum Cabal.
The Amazing Chen is an old NPC I made for an old teen heroes campaign in a friend's game universe.
I need the ability (cheap and/or free) to record voice over background music and then I could give you the audio track in my Amazing Chen AMAZING VOICE!
I could also do the ad I always wanted to do for THE AMAZING CHEN'S AMAZING SMOOOOOTH JAZZ FESTIVAL!!!
Back Yard Boom - Emo Catgirl - Cobalt Claymore - Hephaestus 1
Avatar by Scarf_Girl!
As an idea of what the Amazing Chen's voice sounds like, take the voice of the character Pegasus from the first season of Yu-Gi-Oh / James from Pokemon (if they're not the same voice actor, I'd be surprised) and add in a bit of this guy, a bit player from the Jack Benny Show by the name of Frank Nelson. Take those voices, mix them up, and then turn them UP TO 11!!!
Also, The Amazing Chen is now fighting crime and footwear fashion don'ts in the streets of Galaxy City. So if you see a turquoise blur pass you by, it might just be him.
Back Yard Boom - Emo Catgirl - Cobalt Claymore - Hephaestus 1
Avatar by Scarf_Girl!
Mother Aoi sat at a low table in the receiving hall where she would meet and dine with guests. Her Master of Training, an old elite jounin known as Tetsukane sat at her side with a defensive frown. On the other side, a man in a well-appointed winter suit sat with a businesslike fake smile on his face.
"Tell me what you've found, Onita," Mother Aoi said. "You're the bank manager, after all."
A sound like sand through a sieve began to emanate from Onita as he took a more shadowy form, almost that of a photo negative. "I've searched his mind, Lady Aoi, and what little I have gleaned from this one is that there are many numbered accounts. He did see your husband arrive and leave. We know an account exists. This one is too honest, though. He watched as your husband keyed in a code. He took no pains to actually look at the combination. We do at least know the number."
Mother Aoi sat back. "We know the number. We can find the vault or at least the safe deposit box," she said with a smile.
Onita's shadowy double smiled, this time more raggedly. He took a fountain pen out of the banker's pocket and wrote down the account number. "This is the information you wished for, Lady Aoi. I trust it's to your satisfaction?"
Mother Aoi nodded. "Take your reward. I will need for you to search through more bankers for their memories, then be sure to return them here for the information retrieval." She turned to her advisor. "Tetsukane, who are our best cryptologists, safecrackers, and shapeshifters? Bring the best of each to me. I shall need them to empty out whatever accounts are found by Onita."
Tetsukane nodded. "At once, Honored Mother. I have three in mind as of this moment."
"Retrieve them from their assignments, as I'll want every structure of the account looked over for clues as to its location within a vault," the ninja warlord said. "I want whatever is in there. My son wishes to know what's in there. I wish to have it in my possession before he ever learns of its value. Then we will be able to sway him to our side as it should be."
Tetsukane nodded. The shadow and body known as Onita disappeared into another shadow.
The old trainer looked at his leader. "Onita is very happy to assist you, is he not?"
"He is a shadow. I gave him a name. It has separated him ever so slightly from the mass consciousness of the greater shadow. He's able to have a personality, though at a great cost," Mother Aoi said. "I think the trade-off is easy for him. A Hungry Shadow has his own existence at the cost of feeding off of the humans he inhabits. The ability to be his own person is worth the murders in his eyes."
The banker's body slumped forward at his desk in his rarely-visited cubicle at the St. Martial Banking Enclave. While concerned co-workers got up to check on the banker, none noticed as the banker's shadow grew fainter and fainter until it disappeared completely. None remarked on the chill they felt as a bit of shadow streaked underfoot.
Onita smiled to itself. He'd be at the next bank soon, and he could feed once again.
Back Yard Boom - Emo Catgirl - Cobalt Claymore - Hephaestus 1
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Tetsukane walked through the practice yards of Jizoku no Himitsu's main compound. He always smiled slightly at the looks of the people who expected the formal name to be the House of Secrets, not the Continuation of Secrets. the family was named after what they do, not that they were a family. Many people used the word 'shizoku' or 'clan' when they first dealt with the family. Over time, they realized that 'continuation' or 'jizoku' was indeed more appropriate. Lady Aoi's family made it their mission to determine what secrets should continue being secrets and which should be exposed. They preferred theft and assassination to keep things quiet as opposed to blackmail and extortion, but they were experts with that as well. In addition, they had a knack for uncovering things that people wanted hidden, then exposing them when the advatage was useful. Tetsukane was now searching for a suitable group to reveal what was in those bank vaults in St. Martial.
He'd need a distraction, so he stopped at a nearby shooting lane. Timmy, the amusingly-named genin from Mother Aoi's personal bodyguard was busy trying to gain some consistency in his attack patterns. He was always a step or two early in releasing his shuriken, so he usually made a better distraction than an actual fighter. He got his name from his perpetual enthusiasm for taking risks no matter how bad his chances for survival. The genin reminded people of a spunky young lab assistant, more interested in pleasing his boss than in actually trying to do the work assigned. Perhaps he'd make a good distraction. The old trainer created a new list in his mind. One was for possible members of the bank team, the other was for a team designed to draw attention away from the bank.
"Timmy," Tetsukane said in a grandfatherly way to the ninja, "would you like to earn a better name?"
"Would I ever!" Timmy said excitedly. "You have no idea how happy that would make me!"
"Good, good," Tetsukane said. "I have a need for your talent and enthusiasm. You'd have to step down from Lady Aoi's bodyguard detail for this mission, though."
"I'll do whatever it takes!" Timmy said. "I'll do just about anything to rid myself of this stupid name!"
Tetsukane smiled and scratched his chin. The idea for the distraction was forming even more.
Back Yard Boom - Emo Catgirl - Cobalt Claymore - Hephaestus 1
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Timmy sat in the middle of what looked to be like some kind of mandala made up of Sanskrit and kanji calligraphy. He'd been stripped to the waist and was told to hold a lit candle perfectly still. Naturally, he had difficulty with this as he tried too hard to please his superiors.
"Stupid candle," he muttered as his arms shook.
Tetsukane glared at the genin. "Quiet. This is going to be painful either way, so you might as well be focused on the candle. Relax. It will help keep the candle from shaking."
The genin sighed, causing the candle to flicker wildly. He then inhaled, and exhaled again to relax himself, with the candle's flame swaying back and forth in time with his breathing. Timmy's eyes locked on the flame, following every movement of it.
Tetsukane smiled as his charge began to be enraptured by the flame. He tapped on the floor twice. A shadow in the form of a Shingon monk slithered in through a crack under the door and took a more solid form.
"This is my reward?" the shadow hissed. "Very well. I want a name like Onita. Will I get one?"
"Of course," Tetsukane said. "Go on, follow the pathway of the ink."
The shadow slithered towards the mesmerised genin and stopped.
"You did not say he had a flame with him!" the shadow said as it recoiled from the light.
"I did not," Tetsukane said as he slapped an o-fuda on the doorway. The paper talisman glowed a sickly gray and both the Sanskrit and calligraphy began to slowly spin around Timmy, pulsing with the sound of invisible chanters. The master teacher smiled as the shadow was forced toward the candle.
The curses the shadow yelled towards Tetsukane were drowned out by the chanting and its gestures warped and bent unnaturally as the painted characters rose and fell from the floor, occasionally slicing through the shadow's form. The shadow screamed and howled, barely heard among the chanting. Timmy's eyes blinked as the flame of the candle flared and dimmed, and then he screamed in pain and terror as well. The louder the shadow and genin were, the more the candle flickered and dimmed. The Sanskrit and kanji leapt up from the floor and imprinted themselves on the two subjects of the ritual, with Timmy and the shadow becoming photo negatives of the other. Finally, the candle flared far beyond what a normal candle could normally do as shadow and genin fused into one being. The shadow's personality gave it a face and a body, but the only trace of its existence was a tattoo that wrapped itself around Timmy's arms and torso. The candle snuffed itself out and the genin collapsed to the floor, tearing at his skin and screaming in agony.
"I told you it was going to hurt," Tetsukane said with a grin. "The pain of a shadow brand will pass soon enough. You now know everything that it knew. Don't worry about the shadow, Timmy. Even the independent ones must be kept in line. That pain is just you getting all of its memories as it ceases to exist."
Timmy rolled to one side and shuddered. On his back was a tableau of a monk being thrown as a plaything by a black dragon and a blue tortoise. The dragon's and tortoise's playing had stirred up the sea and the stars, sending them into great waves clashing behind the monk. Tetsukane hunkered down and looked as the picture slowly stopped moving, the monk's face stretched with fear. Eventually both the picture and the ninja calmed. Timmy rolled to his stomach and pushed himself up groggily.
"Shadows and stars, hmm?" Tetsukane asked. "I should like to see gifts the shadow branding has given you."
"We'll find out, sensei," the genin said. "But first I get my new name."
Tetsukane nodded. "You shall have it before you get your mission." The old man gestured to the door. "Before that, though, rest. Your testing will begin tomorrow."
Back Yard Boom - Emo Catgirl - Cobalt Claymore - Hephaestus 1
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Well, there's details, then there's the devil in the details, and then there's having to make a deal with the devil in the details.
Back Yard Boom - Emo Catgirl - Cobalt Claymore - Hephaestus 1
Avatar by Scarf_Girl!