Wow... and to think that Officer Celara caught BOTH of those conversations while going to the tram in Steel. Ah that really brings back some great memories, very excellent work on the dialogue.
Thanks, Ascendant.
I agree that's it's better to overhear these over the phones.
I remember doing so, oh, about a year ago. I only posted that one on the Fan Fiction board because I knew most people would not have heard these for so long (plus, only those on Virtue got the pleasure). For many months, when I've seen that you've been in my zone, I've high-tailed it over to the tram, but I haven't overheard Ascendant on the phone for a very long time, so I felt I wasn't spoiling the surprise.
Keep up the great writing! Your 'Eggs' piece had a feel similar to The Tick comic book. Heroes, aspiring to greatness, brought down by life's petty distractions.
Cheers,
Jeremy White / 'Blue One'
p.s. Any chance you could put up the call to Paragon Medical Insurance? I have copy, but don't know if it's the complete version. There was also something about the Clockworks breaking into Ascendant's apartment, but I'm not sure if that was ever a fully-fledged sketch. Maybe an idea for a future story?... 
[ QUOTE ]
Ascendant: Saul...
Ascendant: Saul...
Ascendant: Stop crying Saul...
[/ QUOTE ]
"If I didn't enjoy the ludicrous mayhem of an 8-person pick-up team and my eventual glorious triumph over seemingly impossible odds bereft of lucid and competant comrades, I would have left this game a long time ago. " - mean_liar
I notice that in addition to the dialog (I've yet to hear the full Movie Deal) you do a lot of emotes. This makes the conversations a BIT more complicated than you imply.
So, question - is each line a bind file or do you pre-load the entire dialog? 
(Saul is a WHAT? Wish you'd write some more fiction about the alt/characters you've created.)
I'm flashing back to the master and patent holder of the 'one-sided phone conversaion', Bob Newhart.
Very nice.
*Claps*
I always loved the Ascendant phone calls. Never got to see the mom one till now, so woo.
[ QUOTE ]
Ascendant: Moving on. The Ascendant Cave Action Playset.
Ascendant: Yeah, I actually like this thing. It doesn't look anything like my apartment, but it's pretty cool, I guess.
Ascendant: What do you mean they changed the name so it could fit on the box?
Ascendant: Well, sure, I guess Ascendant Cave Action Playset is a little long, but couldn't they just use a smaller font?
Ascendant: Fine, so what do they call it now? The Action Cave? Ascendant's Lair? What?
Ascendant: The A-Hole?!?!?!
Ascendant: Why on Earth would they call it the A-Hole, Saul?
Ascendant: Yes, I understand the 'A' is short for Ascendant, you moron, but why not call it the A-Cave? or the A-Lair?
Ascendant: Uh huh... Yeah... I see...
Ascendant: Well, we're NOT calling my secret headquarters the A-Hole, Saul, and that's final.
Ascendant: Because I don't want people to hear the word 'Ascendant' and immediately think 'A-Hole'.
[/ QUOTE ]
This has always been my favorite part. I believe I first caught this one either in beta or one of the first few weeks of release. I remember someone posting about it on the boards also.
Recently, I asked him about his cave.
Digital: Hey Ascendant. How's the A-Hole?
Ascendant: Impregnable Digi, impregnable.
Had me laughing for far too long.
I'm so glad you've posted these. I've heard so much about you I almost created a character on your server just in the hopes I'd come across you making one of your famous calls. You're awesome. I'll be sure and read your story, too.
~Missi
http://tinyurl.com/yhy333s
Miss Informed in 2016! She can't be worse than all those other guys!
They should have a "floating badge" awarded to the current person on the MOST friends list. I wouldn't be surprised if he'd be on it!
Good lord these were hilarious!
You're incredible. You can write both the greatest comedy and drama stories Ive ever read. I'd make a character on your server, but I'm absolutly terrible at staying dedicated to alts.
Thanks for posting these. I read a transcript on the Virtue boards about a year ago. Makes me wish i had a character on Virtue higher than 2.
This is hilarious! My favourite bit:
[ QUOTE ]
Ascendant: Well, of course they're going to use it to try and kill me, Saul.
Ascendant: Why else would a bunch of supervillains want a kid's cereal laced with the one rare radioactive element I'm vulnerable to?
Ascendant: No, I don't think they just want a well balanced breakfast.
[/ QUOTE ]
Character index
Yea first I saw of this was in the fan fiction section and it cracked me up! I thought it was a nice touch by the devs to add lines to the npc when they are on their (HUGE) cell phones. "I don't know an Ascendant?!?".
Have you noticed these?
The Kronos has a hold n00b!
Thanks to the Big A, "Saul" and "Mom" are the main features for Issue 3 of City of Stories, the CoX Fiction Podcast!
"Official" post and show notes are here: COH Boards Link
Direct Download:
http://media.libsyn.com/media/mintco...PhoneCalls.mp3
Website:
http://mincondition.libsyn.com
RSS:
http://mintcondition.libsyn.com/rss
CoH: Mint Condition, Operatives Flame, Iron and Mist
CoV: Operative War, Billy Ray Payne
Holy Cow... i have been here since beta and i do have a few alts on Virtue, but i had never heard about this, its hysterical, now i am going to crack up everytime i hear the NPC line on the pass buys
Now the trick it so find him doing one!
Oh god. XD I remember that Saul skit! My boyfriend and I were RPing when we ran into him doing this. We were laughing hysterically on the phone for hours.
Luficia's Virtueverse Page
These are always interesting for the newbies to run into...
My Stories
Look at that. A full-grown woman pulling off pigtails. Her crazy is off the charts.
I saw this for the first time tonight at the Talos Island tram station. Funniest thing I've ever seen in game. Thank you for making the game experience that much better.
<QR>
Now that I re-found this thread thanks to a diligent poster, it's saved for posterity on my SG's web site.
Thanks for the great shtick Ascendant
how do you make 1 macro go to another like he did?
by the way, love the scripts
whoa, sorry for double posting, but I just realized I was the first one to post in about a year.
Accidental necro-post then. Well, if you're going to necro, at least you showed good taste. 
Ok... I'm posting two of my phone scripts; in the past, I've purposely avoided doing it because I've always felt they'd be much more interesting if you encountered them in the context of the game rather than reading them here on a cold and unmoving HTML page, but I've got a few good reasons for changing my mind in these particular cases.
1) The Saul script has already been posted, and while people like it, one of the posts going around isn't complete. Well, if there's one thing being a comic book reader has taught me over the years, it's "Never settle for less than a complete set", so, I figure I might as well post the whole magilla.
2) There's a reason I can't use one of them anymore
3) Hey, getting these out in the public might just encourage me to write a few more....
4) I'm hoping that if you enjoyed these scripts and would like to know a little more about the guy on the phone at the tram station, take the time to read this. I really like the way it turned out, and I hope you will, too. On the other hand, if you don't like these scripts, well, I still had fun doing them, and that's why we play games in the first place, right?
--Enjoy!
Saul
Saul Rubenstien is, of course, Ascendants agent. Hes also Ascendants uncle, which is pretty much the only reason Ascendant hasnt fired him yet. Saul used to be a big time agent back in the 70s; his last clients were Sid and Marty Krofft. He means well, hes just an idiot.
Ascendant: Hello, is this the offices of Saul Rubenstien, Agent to Paragon's Elite?
Ascendant: Great. Can I speak to him? I'm a client.
Ascendant: Ascendant.
Ascendant: No, with an 'A'. D-A-N-T.
Ascendant: Ok, I'll hold.
Hold Music: --lor said 'Brandy, you're a fine girl, what a good wife you would be, but my life, my love and m--
Ascendant: Hello, Saul, it's Ascendant.
Ascendant: No, the one with an 'A'.
Ascendant: I'm glad you asked. I've been going over these products you've sent me---
Ascendant: Right, for the merchandizing campaign...
Ascendant: Well, no, they aren't. That's why I'm calling, actually.
Ascendant: I'm not really happy with them.
Ascendant: Well, for starters, there's the breakfast cereal.
Ascendant: Right, Ascendant-O's.
Ascendant: Ok, it says here on the box 'Includes Xenonite, the Secret Source of Ascendant's Power'.
Ascendant: Well, for one thing, Xenonite is NOT the secret source of my powers.
Ascendant: No, Saul... No, it isn't. Trust me on this.
Ascendant: Saul, Xenonite TAKES AWAY my powers.
Ascendant: Yeah, it does. In fact, if I'm exposed to it too long, it could kill me.
Ascendant: I dunno. It's got something to do with radioactivity, I think.
Ascendant: Anyway, I poured a bowl of Ascendant-O's yesterday to see what they taste like and nearly died before I could finish adding the milk.
Ascendant: Well, if the cat hadn't come along and eaten it all, I would have, Saul.
Ascendant: My point is that we aren't going to be selling Ascendant-O's...
Ascendant: Because, Saul, I'm not putting on a lead suit every time I have to go to the cereal aisle in the grocery store.
Ascendant: I don't care if you have already have a lot of pre-orders for it.
Ascendant: Really? Just how many?
Ascendant: From who?
Ascendant: Ok... Right... Yeah... Uh huh... Him, too? Really?
Ascendant: Yeah, well the problem here is that all those guys you just mentioned are supervillains, Saul.
Ascendant: Yes, even him. I just beat him up like an hour ago for trying to poison the city's water supply.
Ascendant: I don't care if his check cleared, Saul. That's not the point...
Ascendant: Well, of course they're going to use it to try and kill me, Saul.
Ascendant: Why else would a bunch of supervillains want a kid's cereal laced with the one rare radioactive element I'm vulnerable to?
Ascendant: No, I don't think they just want a well balanced breakfast.
Ascendant: Ok, as far as I'm concerned, this is a dead issue, Saul. Big NO on Ascendant-O's.
Ascendant: Moving on: The Ascendant action figure.
Ascendant: No, I'm very disappointed, actually.
Ascendant: Well, for starters, it comes with a laser sword and a talking dinosaur that I supposedly ride into battle.
Ascendant: I don't have either one of those things, Saul.
Ascendant: I don't care if the focus groups thought it would be cool.
Ascendant: That's utterly ridiculous, Saul.
Ascendant: Yes, it is. For one thing, where am I going to get a laser sword? Or a talking dinosaur, for that matter?
Ascendant: Fine, whatever. Anyway, I'm also a little concerned about the fact that it features 'Burning Halo Action'...
Ascendant: Right, but aside from the fact that I don't actually have that power--
Ascendant: No, Saul, I don't.
Ascendant: I'd know it if I did, Saul, trust me.
Ascendant: --Aside from the fact that I don't have anything like a Burning Halo power, do you really think it's a good idea to sell kids an action figure that can spontaneously burst into flame?
Ascendant: You never thought about it...? Well, that's on hold until I see a redesign.
Ascendant: Moving on. The Ascendant Cave Action Playset.
Ascendant: Yeah, I actually like this thing. It doesn't look anything like my apartment, but it's pretty cool, I guess.
Ascendant: What do you mean they changed the name so it could fit on the box?
Ascendant: Well, sure, I guess Ascendant Cave Action Playset is a little long, but couldn't they just use a smaller font?
Ascendant: Fine, so what do they call it now? The Action Cave? Ascendant's Lair? What?
Ascendant: The A-Hole?!?!?!
Ascendant: Why on Earth would they call it the A-Hole, Saul?
Ascendant: Yes, I understand the 'A' is short for Ascendant, you moron, but why not call it the A-Cave? or the A-Lair?
Ascendant: Uh huh... Yeah... I see...
Ascendant: Well, we're NOT calling my secret headquarters the A-Hole, Saul, and that's final.
Ascendant: Because I don't want people to hear the word 'Ascendant' and immediately think 'A-Hole'.
Ascendant: Ok, moving on. The Ascendant Action Hour TV Show.
Ascendant: Right. I actually like the opening animation of me that you've put together.
Ascendant: No, I do...it looks pretty cool and the theme song is catchy...
Ascendant: I still have a problem with parts of it, though...
Ascendant: Well, the part where I'm sheathed in a burning halo of flame, riding around the city on a talking dinosaur, hitting bad guys with my laser sword and eating chunks of raw Xenonite.
Ascendant: Because I don't actually *DO* any of those things, Saul.
Ascendant: Look, really, it's the rest of the show that I have major problems with, anyhow.
Ascendant: Well, for one thing, outside of the opening theme part, the Ascendant Action Hour is apparently just old episodes of Nightline, except every time someone says 'Ted Koppel', you dub over it with 'Ascendant'.
Ascendant: I don't care if each episode only costs $22.50 plus shipping to make, Saul.
Ascendant: In fact, I don't think you can even legally broadcast it.
Ascendant: What offshore Pirate transmitter?
Ascendant: Saul, that's a federal offence.
Ascendant: Yes... Yes, it is.
Ascendant: Yes, someone WILL care... They're called the FCC, Saul.
Ascendant: Look, Saul, I've got to fire you.
Ascendant: I don't see where you've left me much choice, Saul.
Ascendant: You're selling cereal that can kill me to my archenemies, you've made my action figure not only ludicrous but potentially lethal to kids, and you're committing felonies by broadcasting illegal transmissions of Nightline from off shore.
Ascendant: Oh, and I almost forgot, you're selling an action playset which proudly proclaims on the box that 'Ascendant stores all of his most precious items inside his incredible A-Hole'!
Ascendant: And worst of all, my name is stamped all over all of this, Saul...
Ascendant: I'm the one who's going to be sued, or killed, or arrested...
Ascendant: No, probably not in that order, Saul...
Ascendant: Saul...
Ascendant: Saul...
Ascendant: Stop crying Saul...
Ascendant: Look... I know you tried your best.
Ascendant: (Sigh)... Ok, Fine...
Ascendant: Look, Ok, but just one more chance, Saul....
Ascendant: Just don't do anything more until we can have a meeting, Saul.
Ascendant: No... For the last time, NO Broadway musical! Don't even MENTION that idea again.
Ascendant: Ok, bye
Ascendant: (sigh)...
Mom
Ascendant: Hi, Mom...
Ascendant: No, nothing's wrong, I just thought I'd--
Ascendant: No, I'm fine. Really--.
Ascendant: Yeah... Yeah... Right, but I'm perfectly--
Ascendant: Mom, my skin's like an 93 on the Rockwell scale--
Ascendant: Right... Ok... Yeah...
Ascendant: No, when that happens, I just show up at the hospital...
Ascendant: No. No. No, that's not right, Mom--
Ascendant: I don't care what Jay Leno said---
Ascendant: Right, I am, but not to Kryptonite...
Ascendant: Ok... No... Yes...
Ascendant: Yes, I work with her, mom.
Ascendant: What kind of question is that?
Ascendant: Yes, I've seen what she wears...
Ascendant: No, she says it's kept on by willpower...
Ascendant: No, she's not.
Ascendant: No, we aren't.
Ascendant: No. No. We just work together, mom.
Ascendant: Yeah, I know Ms. Liberty is single...
Ascendant: No, I barely know her.
Ascendant: No, I'm not asking her to dinn--
Ascendant: No... No, that's not--
Ascendant: I don't think Ms. Liberty gets a lot of off time, mom.
Ascendant: Look, I know you want grandkids--
Ascendant: No, I'm NOT calling Inga again, mom.
Ascendant: Yes, I know you liked her, mom...
Ascendant: No, she wasn't a columnist for Spy magazine...
Ascendant: She was a spy for the Fifth Column, mom.
Ascendant: Because they haven't made Spy magaizne in like 10 years, mom.
Ascendant: Fine, ok, other than that, you're right, she was great.
Ascendant: No, she's in prison now, mom.
Ascendant: Um... I kinda need to be going on the missi--
Ascendant: Well, it's pretty important...
Ascendant: No, I didn't say it was more important than talking to you--
Ascendant: No, I didn't...
Ascendant: Mom...
Ascendant: Mom, don't be like that.
Ascendant: Mom, it's an important mission...
Ascendant: Well, that's because all of them ARE important..
Ascendant: Oh, here we go again... Mom...
Ascendant: Yes, I know he sees his parents all the time...
Ascendant: Well, he can teleport, for one thing, mom...
Ascendant: Yeah, I can, but not all that fast...
Ascendant: Ok... Ok... I'll try...
Ascendant: Yes, I'll be there for brunch on Sunday...
Ascendant: No, I won't forget...
Ascendant: No, mom, I won't.
Ascendant: Look, I already explained about that time...
Ascendant: Mom, that was when the Rikti invaded again...
Ascendant: Yes... It was on the news, Mom...
Ascendant: That's because Oprah isn't news, Mom.
Ascendant: Look, I really have to go...
Ascendant: No, I do.
Ascendant: Because with great power comes great responsibility.
Ascendant: Yes, Mom, it does.
Ascendant: No, what?
Ascendant: Yes, I'm sure that being a father is a lot of responsibility, too.
Ascendant: Because I'm not even seeing anyone right now, let alone--
Ascendant: That's not why I'm--
Ascendant: I'm not having this conversation again, Mom.
Ascendant: Look, I'm happy doing what I'm doing...
Ascendant: I don't care if Mr. Jenkins an get me a job with his accounting agen--
Ascendant: Yes, I'm aware that great accountants also have great responsibilities.
Ascendant: No, I don't. No, that's not--
Ascendant: Ok, well, whatever...
Ascendant: I've gotta... Right...
Ascendant: Mom, I've gotta...
Ascendant: No, I've gotta go, mom.
Ascendant: Right, the mission...
Ascendant: No, I'll call you later...
Ascendant: Right, and I'll see you on Sunday.
Ascendant: Ok... Right...
Ascendant: Fine...
Ascendant: Well, I've gotta--
Ascendant: Ok, I'll try.
Ascendant: Look, I've gotta---
Ascendant: Fine. Ok, Bye, mom.
Ascendant: No, bye.
Ascendant: Ok, bye.
Ascendant: Ok, I'm hanging up now.
Ascendant: Ok... Bye, Mom.
Ascendant: I love you, too, Mom.
Ascendant: Hanging up!
Ascendant: Bye.
Ascendant: (Sigh)
Ascendant
Now, more than ever, Paragon City needs heroes. Do your part to save it.