Ah, sadly
on two counts.
First off, yes it is role-playing. A character can have it in his nature to use pet names for anybody and everybody. Such as a British role-player (stereotypically almost) saying sport, love, poppet, bloke, chum, Gov, etc or an Australian saying mate and what not. Stereotypes I know, but still considered role-playing. Some people even like to use these kind of pet names for Southern/Cowboy/Western heroes. So when you ask if this is role-playing the answer IS yes
BUT
Secondly, there are those people who use role-playing as an excuse. You see them allot in games, people who play evil characters and then are REALLY BIG JACK A**ES, and then remove all blame by claiming to be evil. These people are NOT role-playing. They are merely venting and abusing other REAL LIVE people because they know they can get away with it. Its a sick satisfaction most sociopaths enjoy. Beware these people because they know youre a real live person on the other side and that only heightens the pleasure they get from making fun of you, abusing you verbally, and even sexually hitting on you. So if you ask me if he was role-playing
no that is NOT role-playing.
If you think me harsh, or over the top in my explanations, If you do not believe the level people will go to be jerks, do a web search on Rape in Cyberspace and Ill cite one example with the Mr. Bungle Case.
There are sick people out there, nothing prevents them from playing City of Heroes. Watch yourselves people, be safe.
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1: Good lord, you scare people!
2: who me?
1: yes! Look at your post!!
2: .. am I wrong to warn people?
1:
,no.
2: I want to prepare them, in some small way.
1: yeah
Accents and catch-phrases are an essential part of role-playing. A lot of the best role-players use them because it's an easy device for establishing a memorable character. I think most Virtue players would know who I was talking about of I mentioned a hero that called everyone "Jack".
Nonetheless, the polite thing to do in this case would have been for the individual in question to desist when you asked him to. I wouldn't say that he had an obligation to stop, but it would have been polite.
That being said: You may want to develop a thicker skin if you're going to play a character of another gender. Since people in-game don't know you in real life, they're inclined to relate to you as though you are the gender of the character you've created. Pet names are a fairly minor example of this -- down the road, you may encounter unwelcome touching (slaps on the rear and whatnot), compliments on your appearance, and flirting. If this type of behavior is going to make you uncomfortable, you might want to save yourself the trouble of policing such behavior, and just create a male character.
Of course, the inevitable response is "Why should I let the behavior of others dictate my playstyle?" And that's absolutely correct. However, given that other players have no ability to discern your true gender (even I don't read every bio, and I'm a bio junky), you may have to get used to this kind of unwelcome behavior.
And, as the above poster said, some people just want to antagonize you -- and, knowing that it bothers you, will make all the more effort to make you uncomfortable.
Actually, he did stop. It wasn't a big deal to me, personally. The thing that got me was that he considered it roleplaying. I wasn't offended sexually. I was offended as a roleplayer. To do something that lame and call it roleplaying, you know? There are so many great things you can do in character. Anyway, thanks for the responses!
-Checksum
"I'm a homocidal maniac. They look just like everybody else."
Don't assume he sucks as a roleplayer just because you only see one facet of his personality. But someone roleplaying a person who uses pet names must also accept others are going to not like being called those names. As a roleplayer, he should probably realize many people have asked him not to call them pet names, and should probably have had a good, roleplayed response rather than (Hey, I'm just roleplaying!).
"Sorry, lov... er, ma'am. Force of habit, I guess."
Now, when Easter chats with people, she often uses "sugah" and "darlin'"; she doesn't mean to offend anyone, that's just the way she talks. There's significantly more to her than that, though; she was born in Tennessee in 1939. She's a recovering Superadine addict (I imagine it like alcohol--no such thing as "recovered"). The longest relationship she's ever been in lasted 6 months...this ties back to her abandonment issues with her father. Her mother slowly started going insane when she was 10; she left home at 18 and at some point after that, her mother committed suicide (details left out for the games "T" rating), leaving Easter to feel responsible for having not been there for her. She has a deep abiding love for puns, especially the really bad ones. Growing up, she wanted to be a ballerina...
There's more than this, but I sense people falling asleep on the other side of the screen...and my point is, you'd never know ANY of this from just teaming with her. She'd call you "sugah" or "darlin'" and as far as you'd be concerned, that would be the end of that. He called it RP'ing, and perhaps he misspoke...he was "speaking in character", using an accent. And especially since he stopped once you asked him to, well...so what?
And I'm afraid I have to disagree with an earlier poster...if you can't stand people hitting on you because you play a toon opposite of your RL gender, well...stop! Play a male toon. Put "((MALE PLAYER))" in your bio, real early on. Tell people you team with as early as possible, preferably immediately after accepting the invite, "btw, I'm a guy". I play toons of both genders, and refer to other players by way of the gender their toon presents. (Bad grammar, I know, sorry. 
) When I play a guy, I get treated as a guy...when I play a chick, I get hit on like a chick. It's half the reason I play the different genders--just to see how people will react. It's a RP exercise for me; how long can I play a gender different from my own before someone scritches their tiny little head and says "waitaminute...what the hell are you?!?" 
Okay, so this post has lost focus and I'm going to stop now...but point is, I'm afraid I simply can't agree with your reason for being offended. Sorry. *shrugs*
I'm missing enough context to really comment on whether the "jerk" was roleplaying or not.
It's certainly, IMO, within reason for a character to be roleplayed in such a manner as to call female characters by "pet" names. Did he generally seem to be in character otherwise? Or was he mostly speaking OOC except for those affectations?
When you told him to knock it off, and he replied that he was "only roleplaying", I see a couple of possibilities. One point, in my mind at least, is that a roleplayer told to "knock it off" would likely respond in character.
1) He was not roleplaying and just being a jerk.
2) He was roleplaying, but felt that you (as a player) were offended and so resorted to OOC to apologize.
I agree completely that roleplaying is not an excuse to be a jerk... but in the examples you gave (darlin', cutie, etc.) I don't think he was being a jerk at all, especially if he stopped when you asked.
Forum Game: Lower the Rep
Was he acting in a generally IC fashion with the rest of his statements? Were the diminutives he used in IC statements? If so, you overreacted.
The statement of "roleplaying is not an excuse to be a jerk," which is often used, is more directed at being a jerk OOCly, not being a jerk ICly. It's unreasonable to assume that every character will be a pleasant, upstanding, respectful member of society just because they have super powers.
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The statement of "roleplaying is not an excuse to be a jerk," which is often used, is more directed at being a jerk OOCly, not being a jerk ICly. It's unreasonable to assume that every character will be a pleasant, upstanding, respectful member of society just because they have super powers.
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Conversely, it's also unreasonable to assume that roleplaying a "jerk" character should mean that one shouldn't suffer the consequences for being a jerk.
The player creates the character's personality. If that personality is designed to annoy others, then that player is annoying others. And the "jerk" label might fit. (I'm not saying that happened here, or even very often... but it does happen)
Playing an unpleasant character is a very fine line to tread. If someone bothers me enough, I don't care if it's the "real person" or the "character"... I'm not going to react favorably. To just smile like it's not happening ("oh, it's only roleplaying") would be really bad roleplaying on my part, wouldn't it? 
Forum Game: Lower the Rep
I know people are gonna get mad at me here. But.
The only thing wrong he did was stopped and said "I'm just roleplaying".
I can't count how many times I've offended someone who was OOC, due to my IC behavior, if they mention it, I will OOCly explain, but I don't cease.
If you're going to play a female character, you have to be used to the following:
Getting hit on.
Getting called all manner of pet names.
Getting hit on.
Being refered to OOCly as she.
Getting hit on.
Being insulted and called a guy, because no women play MMORPGS..
and did I mention being hit on?
I do not advise playing a female character if you yourself are not a RPer.
How you handle being offended. If it's an IC action and it only offends you OOCly, get over it.
OOC action that offends you OOCly, talk to the person try to get them to stop.
IC that offends you ICly, get the person to stop by in character means.
IC that offends OOCly, best bet is to just leave.
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Actually, he did stop. It wasn't a big deal to me, personally. The thing that got me was that he considered it roleplaying. I wasn't offended sexually. I was offended as a roleplayer. To do something that lame and call it roleplaying, you know? There are so many great things you can do in character. Anyway, thanks for the responses!
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You were offended as a roleplayer.
You will excuse me if I see that as a pretty arrogant position to take.
The fact that you arbitrarily decided that his method of RP is unacceptable or not up to your standards of RP is, in my opinion, not a shining example of your ability to RP. TO me, it appears that, to you, the only form of RP that is acceptable is the kind that you do (Whatever that is).
His character could have been extremely friendly, a flirt, someone whose soul has been brought forward from the "cowboy" era.
That being said, there is always the possibility that he was being a jerk.
In any case, like the poster above me said:
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If it's an IC action and it only offends you OOCly, get over it.
OOC action that offends you OOCly, talk to the person try to get them to stop.
IC that offends you ICly, get the person to stop by in character means.
IC that offends OOCly, best bet is to just leave.
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Hmm, I seemed to have caused confusion. (confusion? on a message board?!?)
Let me put it this way. The guy wasn't roleplaying. It was clear. He was acting OOC. He was just hitting on me. And he stopped. No big deal. Watter off a duck's back.
But doesn't it bother anyone else that he would rationalize it as roleplaying?
I've done and seen enough roleplaying to know what it is and to recognize good roleplayers. But others might not know, and I wouldn't want people to get the general concensus that OOCly hitting on people should be equated to roleplaying. RP is much cooler than that.
-Checksum
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Let me put it this way. The guy wasn't roleplaying. It was clear. He was acting OOC. He was just hitting on me. And he stopped. No big deal. Water off a duck's back.
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You say he was acting OOCly. He says he was roleplaying. Until we can read his mind, I am willing to give him benefit of the doubt.
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RP is much cooler than that.
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Please tell me you forgot the smiley after that phrase. Because, I am forced to admit, there is no way that RP is considered a "cool" thing to do.
Geeky - Yes.
Nerdy - Yes.
A bully Magnet - Yes.
A "chick" Magnet - No.
Cool - No.
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You say he was acting OOCly. He says he was roleplaying. Until we can read his mind, I am willing to give him benefit of the doubt.
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I'm possibly hijacking this thread -- sorry -- but this makes me wonder if a visible RP/RPer flag is a good idea. Let's presume I join a team with some character named Og. I've got a fairly normal looking character, but Og takes a gander at me and says "Wow, you look like an idiot." Is that an IC comment or not? Should I react ICly or not? What if I don't roleplay at all -- how do I handle this?
An RP flag would let people know who's (probably) speaking and reacting in-character and who isn't. It might help alleviate situations such as this. If I'm roleplaying I'll merrily react to IC jerks ICly, but there's a lot of times when the situation isn't clear.
Anyhow, yes, someone who's roleplaying a jerk should still have their character treated like a jerk. "Ah, yes, the Chauvanist Pig. I joined him for a mission against the Sky Raiders. For about thirty seconds. I told one Porter, 'Do everyone a favor and aim lower, all right?' then found some Tsoo to occupy my fists..."
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You say he was acting OOCly. He says he was roleplaying. Until we can read his mind, I am willing to give him benefit of the doubt.
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Well, at one point he asked if I had any other characters on the server. Make of that what you will.
Also, I'm sorry you've never experienced any cool RP moments.
As for the comment about IC/OOC flags, I've been other places that had IC and OOC channels for communication, so you could always tell if someone was speaking ICly or OOCly. I don't know if that's really necessary here. Maybe stick it in your description that you're always IC, I dunno. I really don't think this is that big an issue. I'm surprised so many people are responding.
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As for the comment about IC/OOC flags, I've been other places that had IC and OOC channels for communication, so you could always tell if someone was speaking ICly or OOCly. I don't know if that's really necessary here.
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That would probably be overkill, since it's fairly easy to preface OOC comments with OOC. "OOC: Drat. The cat just yarked on my monitor. BRB." That presumes that everything not prefaced like that is an IC comment, of course, which is where the RP flag might come into play. It shows everyone what context your statements come from. It also assumes that everyone knows to type OOC before OOC comments: not a safe assumption.
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Maybe stick it in your description that you're always IC, I dunno. I really don't think this is that big an issue. I'm surprised so many people are responding.
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It's probably not a big issue, but it's an interesting one, dealing with the murky area between RP and OOC. Looking at your original post, I can see things working out like so if everyone was operating from the same RP context:
Him: "After you, sweetie."
You: "I'm not your sweetie, knock it off."
Him: "OOC: Just roleplaying here."
You: "OOC: So am I."
There's still the friction, but at least both parties know how to handle the friction: in-character. Given that many (most?) people playing the game don't RP, dealing with situations where someone's character is addressing a player can be... interesting.
The disconnect between a female character and a male player is another oddity here. (WARNING! RAMBLING ANECDOTE!) I once played a perky, Pollyannaish female character on a MUSH, and I found that the other (male?) players OOCly would greet me with hugs and kisses rather than the (typical) waves. It was all very friendly... but the idea that such intimacy was OK because "it's a woman" was disconcerting. I've made it a point to be more respectful of female-character-players since then.
[ QUOTE ]
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RP is much cooler than that.
[/ QUOTE ]
Please tell me you forgot the smiley after that phrase. Because, I am forced to admit, there is no way that RP is considered a "cool" thing to do.
Geeky - Yes.
Nerdy - Yes.
A bully Magnet - Yes.
A "chick" Magnet - No.
Cool - No.
[/ QUOTE ]
Are you calling yourself uncool??? Seriously. If you like to RP and think it's cool, then don't knock it...especially if you participate in it yourself. Sheesh. Talk about lack of self confidence. Don't be embarrassed about your own creativity.
It's cool. What others think is their own opinion. The roleplaying game industry makes multi-millions of dollars annually. Someone must obviously think it's cool. Have a great day. 
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Are you calling yourself uncool??? Seriously. If you like to RP and think it's cool, then don't knock it...especially if you participate in it yourself. Sheesh. Talk about lack of self confidence. Don't be embarrassed about your own creativity.
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I think perhaps that we are just using different definitions of cool here. My wife is a teacher. A highschool teacher. Coaches the cheerleading squad. I am the manager of the team (That can be correctly interpreted as I carry the heavy stuff and provide snacks). The definition of "cool" that I am using is the one that they (the cheerleaders) would use. In the limited realm of MMORPG players that also participate in RP, than yes, it would be cool. In the broader realm of cool that I am using, it is not. I apologize to all those who were offended by my saying RP is not cool. I stand by my assertion, that in my opinion RP is not cool. That being said, I do enjoy RP quite a bit and find it very challenging and tricky to pull off well. I am going to regurgitate Checksum here a bit: Confusion on a Messgae board?? Who'da thunk it??
I like to RP. Do I find it interesting, yes. Do I enjoy creating the situations and characters, yes. Do I appreciate the work and effort that goes into RP'ing well (be it in game or on these boards)?? Hell yeah I do. Do I think it is cool (using the above definition)?? No.
Cool is, like book and movie reviews, very subjective. What I enjoy and find cool and interesting (and those are directly dependant on my opinions and definitions of cool and interesting) should have no bearing on what others think is cool or interesting.
As for me being uncool. I know I am uncool. I dress for comfort, not style. My wife often shakes her head with what I am wearing and tells me to change my clothes. The words geek[1] and nerd have (and will continue to be) applied to me and I would be hardpressed to dispute those claims.
[1] my definition of geek follows #2 here , not #1.
EDIT: PS - Thanks for the mention of my thread. I can hhonestly admit that my ego is stroked that (as of last I checked) 240 people have read it and find it interesting.
Follow-up to my own response.
These ideas came to me while sitting on the bus home from work, staring mindlessly out the window.
The end-product may be cool, however, the process by which you get there is not necessarily cool.
The thread that I started in this section (Rescuing the Rescuers) is not something that I think of as being roleplaying. I think of that more as interactive storytelling. To me, roleplaying is more immediate and interactive.
NOTE: I have yet to role-play in CoH. It's not that I am not willing to RP, nor is it a lack of ability. I consider myself an excellent RPer. I have also yet to see any RP in CoH. I think the reason for that most people aren't playing CoH for the RP aspects. And while it doesn't exactly promote RP, it doesn't exactly interfere with it, either.
I think, just as with other areas on the Internet, that people who have socially unacceptible character traits think it is OK to be their true selves just because they are "in character" in game.
I think, whether you agree with me that RP is possible or takes place in CoH, that you really need to turn the tables on yourself before you say something in the game. Ask yourself if you, being on the receiving end of the comment, would be offended by it? If yes, maybe it's time to reconsider what you're about to say. And that doesn't matter if you are "in character" or not. If not, then you had better be prepared for being shunned by most players because "you're a jerk".
Regardless of anything else, if you are speaking in character, and you have an affectation (speaking with an English accent, or like a machine, saying "Sugar" or "Sweetiekins", etc.), then you should probably warn those you team with in advance so they won't be offended, in character or out. A good place for that is in your character description, of course, but since others may not read it, an announcement in Team chat mode is probably a good idea, too.
As always, YMMV!
Best,
Chris
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Regardless of anything else, if you are speaking in character, and you have an affectation (speaking with an English accent, or like a machine, saying "Sugar" or "Sweetiekins", etc.), then you should probably warn those you team with in advance so they won't be offended, in character or out. A good place for that is in your character description, of course, but since others may not read it, an announcement in Team chat mode is probably a good idea, too.
As always, YMMV!
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And of course, mine does.
I'm forced to disagree on the notion of "warning" people that your character speaks with an accent or has cutesy names for people. Do you do this in RL? "I'm terribly sorry sir, but as I was born in Manchester--Great Britain, you know--I have this terrible trouble with an accent, and I'd HATE to give offense...if you should find my speech abhorrent at any given point, please do let me know now so I might avoid offending you further!" /e boggles I see nothing at all wrong with just "being yourself", being in-character, and going right along until someone pops up & says, "Hey. That offends me. Please stop." That's been the rule I operate under since I started playing SWG (shudder) awhile back, and I haven't had any troubles at all. In fact, the few times someone has requested that I stop, and I promptly do so and apologize, they tend to follow with, "it's okay, it's just that <explanation for why it bothered them so>", and thus a conversation and eventual friendship was created.
Not tryin' to pick a fight or anything...just feel obligated to speak for the "other side".
This topic is kind of old but I'm new here so I'll just throw myself in. I agree with the notion that playing different characters and genders is an exercise in roleplaying and on a personal note it makes me a better story teller. I write and dm scenarios for other games and it I've found playing characters of the opposite gender helps with inventing heroines. I would also note that my female characters are treated much differently than my male characters, especially in a heroic environment where chivalry is not dead. But to the main point of the topic, words are the primary role playing vehicle. We don't have a lot of control over much else that conveys personality. Accents and phrases really emphasize the character's demeanor.
Last point: You can make some really good looking chicks. Doesn't that make all the hassle and gender confusion worth it? Just kidding people. Thanks for reading.
I recently created a female character, and had teamed up with a guy, whereupon he kept calling me darlin, cutie, sweetie, etc. I told him to knock it off, and he said he was only roleplaying.
Do others actually think that this constitutes roleplaying?
Personally, I think it's a load of crap. Roleplaying is not an excuse to be a jerk.
-Checksum