Steelclaw

Actually, now that I think of it the "named" heroes vs villains doesn't work out at all in CoH.

I mean, think about it... In the comic books every hero has like.. what?... 400 bad guys that hate them exclusively? Flash had his Rogues' Gallery. It seems like Spiderman has a villain for every day of the year and don't even get me started on Batman.

In the comics the "named" villains outnumber the heroes by a factor of 200 to 1 or more. But in CoH it's the exact opposite. And I don't count the "no name" villain armies like Arachnos, Council, Malta, etc. Henchmen don't count.

Any-who... My favorite trainer is probably War Witch. However the one I end up going to most often is Valkyrie but that's because I view Steel Canyon as "one stop shopping" for all my selling/leveling/crafting/buying needs.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

19) Shouldn’t there be a low-level enemy group in the Rogue Isles called the Heavenions?


[/ QUOTE ]
This one took me awhile to get but I finally got it and didn't now whether to laugh or groan.

Also, what sever are you on? I think I would want to join your team just to hear your ramblings

[/ QUOTE ]
I have characters on every server..

Villains Only: Freedom, Infinity, Liberty, Triumph and Virtue
Heroes Only: Champion, Guardian, Justice, Protector and Victory
Pinnacle is reserved for characters I create specifically to play with my kids' characters.

Oh, and I have a very definite system for which of my characters goes next. My spreadsheets tell me how to play the game. But I created the spreadsheets...

I'm not sure who's really in control of this process, come to think of it.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
6) The Atlas Statue is a structural impossibility which leads one to think that it was created and maintained by someone with stone shaping powers. This being the case; what happens when that person dies?

[/ QUOTE ]
It's a steel (or impervium) framework with a stone skin. The earliest version only used the stone covering on the continents of the globe, the rest of the globe's framework was exposed.

(Yeah, i had to answer one question semi-seriously. Awesome list of quasi-imponderables though.)

[/ QUOTE ]
Reality and Logicses... They burrrrrnss usssss....!!!

My mind tends to wander while I play and I often come up with odd questions or curiosities. When I am playing on a team I will usually mention them in chat. Today I've been going solo, so I decided to just jot them down as they came to me.

Here is today's sampling (so far):

Silly Questions…

1) So.. in “rescue the hostage” missions that take place in office buildings filled with screaming people… the hostages were the ones who just got tired of running, right?

2) The dictionary defines Statesman as “a person who is experienced in the art of government or is versed in the administration of government affairs.” Is there no depth to which John Edwards will stoop in self-glorification?

3) If their builders could make them anyway they wanted… why do Vahzilok Abominations wear black leather shorts?

4) With regards to Karma and cosmic balance, can hours spent playing a hero balance out acts of evil you do in real life?

5) And if so, how long do I have to play to make up for accidentally dropping my wife’s favorite houseplant down 2 flights of stairs?

6) The Atlas Statue is a structural impossibility which leads one to think that it was created and maintained by someone with stone shaping powers. This being the case; what happens when that person dies?

7) How come we don’t see any Lost with the digital converter boxes hooked up to their television helmets?

8) Does a Rikti with a speech impediment speak with a semi-colon?

9) If a wailer has a stuttering problem does it become damage over time?

10) If a new Skull gang member has to start at the bottom and work their way up; are they initially called a Metatarsal?

11) Is the reason there are so few cars in Paragon City because most people can run faster than the posted speed limit?

12) Were the war walls sponsored by the Paragon Transit Authority as a way to force heroes to use their railway?

13) Do the cops all hand out radios to every hero they can find as a means of reducing their workload?

14) Do you think that when someone told the Warden at the Zig he should have an “Open Door Policy” he thought they meant the front gate?

15) If Chris Jenkins were ever kidnapped by a villain; do you think a single hero would lift a finger to help him?

16) Do all the city’s perverted old men hang out at Spanky’s Boardwalk?

17) Does anyone else besides me think it’s funny that when you use the Lost Cure all the un-cured Lost begin attacking their former comrades?

18) Does the fact that Sister Psyche and Manticore spend every hour of every day in completely separate sections of the city mean their marriage is more likely to last?

19) Shouldn’t there be a low-level enemy group in the Rogue Isles called the Heavenions?

20) Does AE Corps have a non-disclosure contract with all its patrons? I mean, if I were to create a “mission” called “I Married Doc Delilah” can I be sure it won’t get back around to her who made it? She hits HARD.

Hmmm... this might explain why no one ever invites me to team more than once.

Well, that and my way of greeting people who just joined the team:

"Welcome to the madness, now with fresh lemony scent!"

"Welcome to the madness.. now with Bingo every Thursday night!"

"Welcome to the madness.. now completely in digital and surround sound!"

"Welcome to the madness... now with Nude Hamidon Wrestling every Friday!"

"Welcome to the madness... please feel free to enjoy our complimentary cookie table!"

And so on.. a different one (made up on the spot) for every new person. It's amazing how quickly they quit my team after a while.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
The only problem with this is a TF giver can't be a trainer too; or at least hasn't been so far.

[/ QUOTE ]

I believe it's possible to have separate contacts both with the same name (but different IDs) in different zones (for appearances sake) with one being the trainer and the other being the contact. I can't recall this being used in game anywhere, but I vaguely recall a dev saying it was possible.

[/ QUOTE ]
Technically, yes... but I'm pretty sure they'd consider it immersion breaking. War Witch is only in two zones because they're different versions of the character.

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't know. I could easily imagine it possible to consider them to be the same Blue Steel but simply at different places at different times. We already have many of the other named heroes and villains being fought/being allied with in missions while they exist elsewhere in the game world and that's not considered immersion breaking. In fact, if you run Maria Jenkins' arc, Statesman has apparently gone missing. I oftentimes have to prevent myself from simply telling her to check the battleship in IP if she really wants to find him. :P

I would have some issue with it if the multiple instances of Blue Steel were in the same map, but, as per my suggestion, that wouldn't be the case.

[/ QUOTE ]
My absolute favorite occurence of double-instancing is in Faultline.

Penelope Yin: Oh hero! You must go save Doc Delilah! She's been captured by the Sky Raiders!

Hero: Ummm... no she hasn't... she's standing right over there on the shore line..

Penelope Yin: What? No.. According to my information she's been kidnapped by the Sky Raiders.

Hero: Now she's waving to us.

What I would really love to see a mischevious developer do is set up some code where if you had that mission on tap and were within viewing distance of her Doc Delilah would appear to be wearing a a pair of those Groucho Marx glasses/nose/moustache disguises.

I think the joke actually gets in the way of the developers using Blue Steel in-game at this point. And I am serious in this statement.

Think about it, every time you see a hero in-game you are either rescuing them or being aided by them. Even if you're being aided by them there is always a chance of them doing a half gainer into a swan dive face-plant.

The legend of Blue Steel may have grown to the point where the developers don't feel comfortable putting him in active story lines because there is the chance he may fail. I imagine the first instinct upon seeing Blue Steel in your mission would be to sit back and watch him defeat the entire map with one attack.

What I would love to see them do is create a Blue Steel task force. Also have it be the first task force that was available to all character levels against an enemy type that spanned 1 to 54 such as Arachnos. The only problem with this is a TF giver can't be a trainer too; or at least hasn't been so far.

The alternative would be the creation of a Praetorian version of Blue Steel called Pink Tinfoil. Pink Tinfoil would be their world's version of Fusionette; always in trouble and incapable of beating a mosquito on his own much less an actual enemy.

Er.. okay... that last one wasn't serious. But the first section was... seriously.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Oh wonderful.. as if I haven't seen ENOUGH Hulk clones... now I get to see Banner clones too... turning into a Hulk clone..

I wonder if each costume slot will get its own generic code?

[/ QUOTE ]

Transformations are nothing inherently unique to the Hulk. These kinds of things were a trope of fiction going back to early mythology. While some players will undoubtedly do what you describe, your post seems to suggest that the addition should be excluded simply because of that fact. Sorry, I've never been a big fan of the rotten apple analogy. I'm more excited about paying for this booster pack than I am about getting I15 for free.

Am I misreading you or was your opening paragraph just an excuse to get to your cute little one-liner?

Attache

[/ QUOTE ]

I was recently listening to Scott Adam's "Way of the Weasel" on audio book while driving. In it he made a reference to people who are "satire deficient." At the time I wasn't entirely sure what he meant.

Thanks for clearing that up for me.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
The minimum level requirement for the Blue Steel Task Force is 62.

[/ QUOTE ]

Only good one.

[/ QUOTE ]
I guess I'm just easy to please--I thought they were all good.

[/ QUOTE ]
Oh thank goodness... I guess that means I can put this rope away.

Must... resist.... primal... urges....

Ah heck with it..

During personal grooming one of Blue Steel's toe nail clippings flew wide of his foot.. but they're making good progress on repairing Faultline now.

NCSoft once suggested to Marvel and DC a cross-over comic where Blue Steel squared off against the Hulk and Superman... The reply emails were verbatim of one another: "That's okay... we're good."

Captain America only used the U.S.A. schtick so he wouldn't be thought of as a Blue Steel knock-off.

Blue Steel once stood at the center of a nuclear explosion; after news reports announced he was radioactive Peter Parker begged Steel for a week straight to bite him.

Blue Steel thinks of Wolverine as the "wimp who cried after chipping a nail off his shield."

For some unknown reason the smog levels in LA are tied directly to the intensity of Blue Steel's morning breath.

Most girls have to put up with their boyfriends always talking about an ex girlfriend. Penelope has to put up with hers always talking about Blue Steel.

Last year Sister Psyche was sent into a deep depression when, despite her pleading, Blue Steel refused to "perform" at her Bachelorette party.

Manticore holds a deep resentment to this day.. not over his wife's desire to hire Blue Steel for the party.. but at Steel's gift.. a book titled "Blue Steel's Guide To Endurance and Stamina"... it had nothing to do with his blue bar.

Synapse is constantly making trips to King's Row in attempts to get Steel to autograph his copy of "Blue Steel's Guide to Endurance and Stamina."

The minimum level requirement for the Blue Steel Task Force is 62.

Blue Steel considered being a Broad Sword/Shield scrapper for a while, but Excalibur wasn't available.

Oh wonderful.. as if I haven't seen ENOUGH Hulk clones... now I get to see Banner clones too... turning into a Hulk clone..

I wonder if each costume slot will get its own generic code?

My Must-Haves for a successful task force:

1) Team mates with a sense of humor
2) Team mates who appreciate MY sense of humor
3) Team mates who STAY the entire task force
4) A distinct lack of Chat Silence... I like chatter.
5) On going jokes about one particular thing (face plants, a toon's name or costume, etc) that get more and more outrageous as the play goes on.

Actually, come to think of it.. those are my requirements for pretty much any team.

Europeans on our boards? Hmm... That could be a problem.. I've never been able to wrap my mind around all those Thee's and Thou's and Forasmuch's...

Dang it.. that means I'm going to have to write a few song parodies from the Beatles and A-ha now.

[ QUOTE ]
Fantastic! But next time you have to record yourself singing it to the music.

[/ QUOTE ]
While I CAN sing... I am a bass... and bass doesn't work too well with a Spice Girls song... while I was singing it out loud to see how well the tempo matched I was even making myself cringe...

I may have permanently damaged my cat's ears.. I can't tell for sure.. he won't come anywhere near me now

So, since I can't log in to City at the moment, I thought I'd sit down and write a song parody. Yes, another one.

I was perusing the Issue 16 thread and saw some people complaining about what they wanted to see from Power Customization and that it "wouldn't be power customization unless EVERYTHING I want is in it!!"

Well, I thought about how the developers must feel reading that sort of thing. Aaaaand I came up with this song. This is from the perspective of the developers and you can picture them singing it at some karaoke bar.

(To the tune of "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls)

Yo, I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell us what you want, what you really really want
I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want
So tell us what you want, what I really really want
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna,
I wanna really really really wanna everything now!

We want your input cuz it’s your game
But if you have some thoughts, try to keep ‘em sane
Now don’t go trolling if we don’t respond
Cuz a complete game rebuild would take too long…

I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want
You won’t get what you want, what you really really want
I’m demanding what I want, what I really really want
I’m gonna, I’m gonna, I’m gonna, I’m gonna…
I’m gonna really really really gonna pitch a big fit!

If you wanna make suggestions, you gotta ‘least make ‘em real
You want an in-game pony, I mean come on what’s the deal?
If you wanna give some input, a PM must be sent
Asking is so easy, but it’s hard to im-ple-ment!

What do you think about that, now you know how we feel?
You ask for the impossible with unthinking zeal
You can’t be hasty, and ask for the world…
Cuz yer givin’ Castle migraines and BABs just hurled

Yo, I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want
Don’t tell us what you want, what you really really want!
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna,
I wanna really really really wanna space station!

If you want customization, well we think that’s just fine
But you need to be patient, you’ll get it in due time!
If you want customization, we’ll start with some new hues
It’s a long term process, you have to pay some dues!

So here’s the game from A to Z,
You wanna play City?
You gotta listen carefully
We got BABs with a nack for plotting the attack
Castle, power master.. number crunching faster
I hear that Synapse is… stealin’ all our badges
Our lovely Avatea… Communal Mamma Mia!
Ghost Falcon our Producer… gag reflex inducer…
Our own Manticore … guru of in-game lore!
Then there’s Sexy Jay who clothes us every day!
Pohsyb plays with locks that keep him in his box!
Positron is the leader.. the viral rumor breeder…
We’ll jot your idea down and pass it all around
Jot your idea down and pass it all around

If you want to know the future, well baby that’s the thing…
We’d really like to tell ya, go scream at marketing!
If you want to make suggestions, we’ll listen to you
But we ain’t sayin’ nothin’… not until the next issue!

If you wanna make suggestions…

Attention:

The management here at Steelclaw Studios would like to apologize for any mental duress or damages caused by the mention of certain Y-words in an earlier post.

Please be aware that the comments or commentaries made by certain Steelclaw Studio employees do not necessarily represent the views of Steelclaw Studios, its partners or subsidiaries. We know you have choice in humor posts here in the forums; we appreciate your patronage.

Please rest assured that the aforementioned employee has been dragged into the street and beaten.

And now... on with another fine Steelclaw Studios production:

Horror Movie Cliche Universe - While this universe held great promise early in its career it was doomed from the start. Not directly because of the axe/chainsaw/knife wielding psychopaths; but rather due to the sex cliche. As soon as any one attempted to get busy they were murdered. As such this Universe only survived one generation.

Trekky Universe: This one never got off the ground despite the immense popularity of the genre. While interest was huge; the player base could not decide which version of Trek they wanted. Then the Picard vs Kirk debate began once more. Flame wars started on the forum site and the whole thing blew up when someone insisted that Captain Archer could curb stomp any other Captain. Eventually the Star Wars groupies, sensing weakness, invaded and defeated the lot of them.

Accountant Universe: An entire dimension based solely on numbers and balance sheets. The evil embezzlers are draining the coffers dry and only YOU can stop them. Track down the leak and plug it! When the trailer for this game was released at SelfPromotionCon '09 the reviewers were enthusiastic. "That's the best darned sleep I've had in weeks!" gushed one critic.

Dungeons and Dragons Universe: With cloud palaces, giants, dragons and deep caves filled with creatures and treasure, the D&D Universe has a lot to offer the bold adventurer. Indeed, when it began it saw the greatest influx of players in the history of the Dimensional Expansion program. However, the gods that ruled the universe came out with version 2 and the player base scrambled to try out this new bit of fun. Then later they tried version 3. The final insult came when they slapped them with version 3.5. Now what little player base remains dares not actually play their characters since they may very well have to start over again from 1 at any time when their old ones become obsolete. "I've been reincarnated more times than Cleopatra" one player was quoted as saying.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You forgot the most evil dimension of all - where everything is exactly the same as our dimension, but everyone has goatees.

[/ QUOTE ]

Woof, time to walk away from the Internet. I read that as "everyone has goatses."

[/ QUOTE ]

Granted, that would probably be a vile universe as well.

What about the universe where all the men are women, all the women are men, and all the cat girls are dog boys? (Stateswoman would still be in charge, of course.)

[/ QUOTE ]
Nah.... Combine the two...

Visit the Universe where the Men are Men and the Goats are nervous...

Yeah, it's me again... big surprise...

1) Family Dimension... Like the old comic books; you can't make an original super hero like Superman, but you CAN make a member of his family ie- Superboy, Supergirl, Superdog or Super Horse (and yes, there WAS a super-horse.)

2) Same Power Different People Universe - Say goodbye to having different power sets. In this universe there is a god or power source that grants the same powers... to everyone. Welcome to Oa, now take your ring and your green costume, learn the mantra and get in line with the rest of 'em.

3) The Long Shot Universe - You are a person with moderate superpowers but you routinely fight universe detroying megalomaniacs. Say you got bit by a radioactive cockroach... figure you're going to be busting bank robbers and lower-end baddies? HECK NO! Let's introduce you to this dude in purple armor who eats planets for breakfast.. literally! The only thing stranger than that is you'll probably end up winning.

4) The Uber Universe - Everyone here makes Superman look like a kindergartner with a bone disorder. You get to select from the new Omnipotence powerset. Only one problem; everyone has uber powers so no one needs saving. They have to import damsels to be in distress. You'll be on a waiting list to be able to save someone; about once every 3 months or so.

5) 80's Saturday Morning Universe - You can be a hero however you have to possess a mount that can talk/has human intelligence, a ridiculous side kick who is either an idiot or has powers that malfunction frequently and a companion of the opposite sex who you may never treat as anything other than a "good friend" and who invariably wears a skimpy outfit just to torment you.

6) Anthro-Verse - Pick an animal, any animal. You are now half human and half-something else, probably furry. Despite being covered with fur you still wear clothing. Despite the fact that your jaw and tongue are physiologically unsuited you are still able to talk. Despite having claws and teeth for hunting you still use weapons. Despite being a major furry fan-boy the teen rating still prevents in-game yiffing.

I don't really believe in luck so I'll wish you Great Skill in finding a new job.

If you get nervous during job interviews... just picture your interviewer wearing Statesman's uniform. That half-helmet alone should erase the nerves.

If your interviewer is a female do NOT... I repeat... DO NOT picture her in Sister Psyche's outfit. Either you will be so pleasurably distracted you won't remember the question or you'll be fighting a gag reflex so strong you won't be able to vocalize an answer.

PutridKarma
PumpingKaka
PleasureKill
PackingK-Y

Hero Side I have to go with Back Alley Brawler. Mostly because of his Natural origin and the fact that he, more than most of the other heroes, seems to realize that fighting super-villains is not the only way to be a hero. His fight against Superadine ranks high in my estimation.

Villain Side it's a toss up between Scirroco and Silver Mantis. But when it all comes down to it I have to go with Mantis. The Villain-Angst only goes so far and after a while I just want the dust-devil to shut it.

As far as Mantis goes; we're talking a female villain who gets turned on the more you beat on her. I mean seriously... how freakin' cool is that?!

Lists... why in the heck can't I resist making lists?

::sighs::

Fine...

PharmaKillogical
PneumaticKick
PubescentKnight
PurpleKnickers
PulpKnitter
PsyKaotic
PsyKotic
PureKinetics
PansyKnicker
ParsleyKnosher
PrissyKissy
PUGKnocker
PrismaticKaskade
PanamaKid
PinkKarate
PirateKabobs
PhatalKO
PreKindergarten
PhallenKatholic
PlummetKite
PurloinedKey
PaddedKrotch
PlugKranker
ProfessorKringle
ProfessorKant
ProfessorKnow

Dang it!

Why couldn't I have seen this in time to guilt-trip my kids into getting it for me for Father's Day?!

Errr... I mean... in time for my wonderful children to consider this as an appropriate gift... heh.

Let ME count out a few ways too...

1) Resurrect Remus from the dead for a little wolf brother zombie vengeance.

2) Tell Captain Mako Romulus is crunchy on the outside and chewy on the inside.

3) Infuse Rommie with another Nictus so they have a turf war. Hilarity ensues.

4) Tell Romulus that Nictus is actually Latin for Cooties.

5) Inform Statesman that Romulus called him "little half-helmet."

6a) (Heroic Version) It's freaking TIME TRAVEL people! Go back to when Remus and Romulus were babies and take them to a human couple before the wolves show up!

6b) (Villainous Version) It's freaking TIME TRAVEL people! Go back to when Remus and Romulus were babies and rub raw steak on them just before the wolves show up!

7) Make sure there are several cat girls on your team (no difficulty there). Sprinkle cat nip on the fluffies. Announce in team the similarities between the fluffies and balls of yarn.

8) Pull Romulus up to the roof. Point out to him the deplorable condition of the tiles there and that the first rain storm will likely go directly into his throne room. Advise him that you know a guy who could do the work cheap. Then proceed to tie him up in zoning ordinances and local permit committees. By the time the work is approved Romulus will have lost faith in all human government and the Nictus will have left in disgust.

9) Provide Romulus with documented proof that Nictus have been known to cause impotence in middle aged males.

10) Say you'll aggro the healer; then go send some risque PMs to the team empath.

First business....

Congratulations Pohsyb! I wish all the happiness and fortune in your marital endeavors. And let me be the first to congratulate you on any Snwap that may be in your future.

Now that the business is out of the way.. on to pleasure...

Why BABs and company should have realized Pohsyb was out of the box earlier than they did:

1) The screams of pain just didn't feel as heart felt lately; it was a recording set on loop.

2) No trail of slime leading to or from the box when everyone else arrived in the morning and no food missing from the break room refrigerator.

3) That woman who kept getting in trouble for ignoring the "Do Not Feed The Pohsyb" sign has been missing too.

4) A little research revealled that the constant cry of "Ooo Eeee Oooo Ahh Ahhh Ting Tang Walla-Walla Bing Bang" was actually a mating call.

5) Prior to leaving the box behind; Pohsyb tried repeatedly to ship himself overseas but never had quite enough postage.

Why.... WHY.... do you people keep giving me lead in lines like this?

::sighs::

Okay, fine... Clues that your MA AV is too tough...

1) In order to generate them in the AE simulator it knocks out half the power grid in Paragon City.

2) Statesman tried out your arc and hasn't been heard from since.

3) A new enemy group starts as a cult worshipping your AV as a god.

4) Nemesis issues a press statement saying he had nothing to to do with it.

5) Before running the arc you are forced to sign a waiver, a disclaimer and provide proof that you have an active and updated will.

6) There is a sign at the portal to enter your arc that says "you must be this high to ride this ride" but instead of a height line it gives a blood-alcohol percentage.

7) Lord Recluse gives it his personal stamp of approval for heroes.

8) People start referring to it as "The Blue Steel Task Force" because only Blue Steel could run it.

9) The AE staff members all do the "panicked office worker/club goers run and scream" emotes when someone selects that mission.

10) Just for entering the mission door you get 1000 "sympathy" tickets.

11) There is a wall box in the room with the AV that reads "In case of emergency break glass." It contains kryptonite.

12) You summon your Shivan to help out; it takes one look and dives back into the shard.

13) After running the mission the Surviving Eight are never allowed to call themselves that again.

14) The city hospitals are forced to accept AE Corps overflow ports.

15) The developers attempt to delete the story arc because of player complaints. There is a myserious fire and numerous injuries. Two weeks later they send out a statement saying that "Issue XX will introduce exciting new content including a player-made AV who will now officially be made canon."