Steelclaw
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Posts
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Because of the Teen Rating there are several joke lists and snarky comments I have been unable to tell over the years. I say the Teen Rating because if it were up to my own sense of good taste and restraint there would be no such thing as a list of jokes I wouldn't tell...
Good taste... heh.. that's a good one...
Anyway, with no further ado...
* Anything and Everything that's come into my mind when I was running through Kings Row and saw "Entering the Gish" pop up in the chat window.
* Top Ten things that got Manticore in trouble with his wife just for THINKING them...
* Ten things the Clockwork that carries his head under his arm can do that his fellow clockwork CAN'T.
* The titles and plots of every file that pops up when you cross-reference "Author:Clockwork King" with "Penelope Yin" in the AE data base.
* The complete list of "internal functionality systems" that are no longer in Positron's armor now that he doesn't have to wear it 24/7.
* Dark_Respite's complete list of CoH Slash-Fic video concept titles... which is too bad because if I COULD tell you that joke you'd learn about "Along Came A Spider"... but I can't...
* Top Ten Things Knives of Artemis Recruits Have To Learn That You Won't Find In Your Normal Military Boot Camp.
* Reasons why the ladies of the Carnival of Shadows have to wash their masks an average of 5 times a day.
* Why Synapse feels comfortable wearing Spandex and Positron doesn't.
* Why, after listening to Beastyle's suggestions, Noble Savage refused to draw up a version of his in-game presence.
* Why Zwillinger should have second-thought allowing Avatea on-camera wearing a shoulderless outfit on the last Ustream.
* Why we are all thankful Zwillinger didn't have any second thoughts during the last Ustream.
* "Pluck You", "Down with that" and other puns you should never use in Swan's presence. -
Quote:Fine... sheesh...Originally Posted by Smersh
I am saddened that we didn't get a Steelclaw top ten list here.
Top Ten Legendary Geek Swords
10) Hammerdrange : Epic letter opener in the shape of a six inch sword wielded by Eric Freebenhuesen in his cubicle as an IT guy in a business in Toronto. Eric would mess around with the sword regularly when he was too bored to do anything else. Such "warrior training" led to his boss becoming known as Walter "One-Eye" Stoltz.
9) Bob : Max Greenwell loved his swords, but wasn't the most imaginative guy in the world.
8) Titan's Sledge : Legendary blade sought after by the wiley (if spindly) Timothy DeWinters, who insisted on a Scottish Claymore that was an exact replica of that carried across the Moors of medieval Brittania. Upon receiving it he swore an oath to take it to the very next Renaissance Faire.
7) Short Sword of Forgotten Dreams : Blade Timothy had to settle for instead when, after several failed attempts, he discovered he couldn't lift Titan's Sledge so much as an inch off the floor.
6) PickAxion the Greater : When a young Steelclaw and his best friend were 12 years old they would often go into the woods where they would pretend to be great lords, using sticks and branches as swords to do battle upon one another. One day, the friend selected a pick axe handle of pressure treated wood as his "blade"; this was PickAxion the Greater. As they fought, Steelclaw's friend got a little over-aggressive and cracked Steelclaw in the skull with said blade, knocking him to the ground and nearly unconscious. When, several blurry seconds later, Steelclaw looked up, his friend was some 30 yards away... peeking around from behind the protection of a tree... asking "are you okay?" (true story)
5) Piddy Slayer : A katana of elite manufacture and sharpness; a true masterwork among weapons. Unfortunately, it was cursed to only end up in the hands of clumsy nerds and geeks who thought they could handle it. Inevitably, as though guided by destiny itself, it would earn its name as owner after owner tried to twirl it about only to drop it... while wearing flip-flops.
4) Buster Sword: Although named after the original over-sized mega-blade after which it was modeled, the GEEK version of the Buster Sword more appropriately gets its name from the damage done to hallways, windows, doorways and furniture when its owners tried to maneuver it through their parent's house and into the basement.
3) Friend Slayer : John Havocade was really, really, really, REALLY sorry after the accident.
2) Blade of the Bereft : Willie Bubbowski of Alabama was a geek through and through but grew up among his deep southern crimson-necked brothers. He tried to follow both his callings but the local police were more understanding of rifles hung in the rear windows of pick up trucks than broadswords. After the fifth time they confiscated his sword, he didn't even bother paying the impound fee to get it back.
1) Rapier Wit : Eddie Harroway owned a rapier with which he would often pr*ck his brother, then later his room mate when the mood struck him. Since it was what he used it for most often, he decided to name it just that. One day, against all laws of common sense, he took the rapier to work. He was fooling around with it in his cubicle when a female co-worker, not able to see over the wall, asked him what he was up to. "Just playing with my Pr*ck," he said without thinking. His first court hearing is next Tuesday. -
Quote:You have my eternal devotion and loyalty for this statement. The Belgariad and Malloread are the best books ever written (in my humble opinion). Although, to be honest the sword itself wasn't the power... it was the Orb of Aldur that really gave it its claim to fame.Originally Posted by Zortel
No Sword of Riva? I mean, how many swords have a sentient pommel stone of incredible power that fell from the stars and was polished by a god? The large sword itself was forged of Meteoric Iron that fell from the sky and had a hero guided by a dream to where it landed. The magic of the orb that's the pommel stone renders it lighter than regular weapons to wield, and ignites the blade in blue fire when wanted.
Just not enough love for the Belgariad
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I just bought a Kindle so I'm getting all the books I either already own or loved and read a long time ago.
Most recently read:
The Dome by Stephen King
and
Spell for Chameleon by Piers Anthony -
I have actually been thinking about a new Star Trek series ever since Enterpirse bit the dust (in a VERY bad way, I might add...)
If I were in charge of pitching an idea to studio execs I would go in a rather different direction than what has been suggested in the link.
I think we should pull the series back to the beginning. Not the "back-in-time" beginning but the beginning of ANY Federation hopefull's career. I want to see a show centered around the Federation Academy.
You could bring back older characters like Jean-Luc Piccard, Data, Janeway, etc as visiting guest speakers or Professor's emeritus. The series would have a young core cast with a whole group of varying races all intermingling with each other for practically the first time, so all those prejudices and pre-conceptions would be in full force.
We would FINALLY be able to explore the Star Trek Universe from the perspective of planet EARTH. How does society function without capitalism? How well have humans REALLY managed to expunge war and conflict from their nature? What form of government exists in terran earth? How does the average human feel about the Federation?
I would also like to see some avenues explored that haven't before. One of the primary character ideas I had (and would LOVE to see implemented) is the concept of a half-Vulcan, half-Klingon. Said child was not "born" in the classic sense but was created in a genetics lab; possibly with some links to Khan and his experiments/creation. A Federation Starship found the lab and the child that was cryo-incubated within. The parentless child, not wanted by either the Klingon culture (who view it as an abomination) or the Vulcans (who have deep concerns about its ability to master emotions that would most certainly turn out to be incredibly volatile); the child ends up in the care of humans. This hybrid would be female and her emotional maturation/development would be key to a great many episodes.
If we really wanted to make things interesting we could introduce a Betazoid as the Kling-Vulc's best friend or possible love interest. Imagine being able to read the emotional state of THAT kind of being?
Other characters, like a disenfranchised Borg, an Andorian and others would join the cast to give it a bit of flavor and depth.
The school itself would be a main character, with hidden nooks and cranies, historically important relics and recordings, tests, subjects and odd professors would abound. I would LOVE to bring back John Billingsley as Doctor Phlox from Enterprise to reprise his role as head of the Medical Education department.
Anyway... as you can tell I've put some thought into it... but that is generally what I would love to see Star Trek put on television. If not for the next series; at least sometime in my life time. -
Awesome job... of course, now I hate you for thinking of it first.
Nothing personal. -
There are no powersets or ATs that I out-right don't like; they each have their own perks and pleasures.
That being said, the one that I like LEAST of all the ATs are the Soldiers of Arachnos (all varieties). I honestly think this is because of my meticulous and plan-heavy nature more than anything. It just gets under my skin that I have to scrap my build and re-plan everything when I hit 24th level. It leaves me feeling like everything from 1st to 23rd is more treading water than actually accomplishing anything.
Yeah, I know... I know...
As for power sets I think I'm safe saying that my least favorite are pretty much any Blaster secondary that isn't Devices or Energy Manipulation. The others feel just a little too cookie-cutter for me. Although, to be fair, I've yet to play a Mental Manipulation blaster. -
Okay, this is going to be wierd but...
My favorite AT is Scrapper... while I like Brutes they tend to get me into trouble when I Rage-Chase too far.
Now for the wierd part...
Despite Scrapper being my favorite AT... my favorite powerset combination is Fire/Devices for the Blaster.
Reasons (because there has to be a list in here somewhere):
- Major AoE Pwnage
- Even at lower levels Caltrops + Rain of Fire + Fireball + Fire Breath will destroy most minions right off the bat.
- For boss fights nothing beats laying down 10 or more Trip Mines then sniping him into running into the middle of the pile.
- In rooms filled with overlapping spawns lay a row of Trip Mines across the room's entrance and let your team know to run past it if they get into trouble.
- AoE can be a hit or miss kind of thing but Targeting Drone makes for more hits than misses.
- Getting close enough to lay down Caltrops, etc can be tricky... right until you get Cloaking Device.
I love the strategic "chess-style" powersets and ATs... it's also the reason I like playing Stalkers solo because pre-planning each battle as to who to take out first, 2nd, etc can be fun. -
Honestly if there were a battle royale with all the GMs I think the Lord of Winter would almost certainly win since it goes completely invulnerable every quarter health loss and brings in buddies to sustain it.
The LoW would hold aggro from the opponent GM for at least a little while until the incoming WL did enough damage to attract its attention each time giving the enemy a rather sizable disadvantage. -
I just took a gander at the Intrepid Informer... It looks like Beam Rifle is going to be the new go-to power set for taking down Giant Monsters what with all the -regen and stacking -regen it's packing.
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Electric Mayhem for life.
And no... I'm not talking about your favorite brute and a bank to rob. -
Quote:Okay... I read the list (hilarious!) and while I agree with most of them, I'm not sure that the AV version of me would really have the same goals or the same style as your average Overlord. My AV self wouldn't be interested in ruling the world at all.. WAY too much paperwork and hassle... I think causing mayhem and making the more noir among us try valiantly to suppress laughter while pretending sympathy at my victim's plight fits the bill a little more accurately.Originally Posted by Rodoan
I seem to recall some 1970's types getting by with a prehistoric superhero caveman instead.
Since you're on the Arch-Villain kick, I'd love to hear your version of the Evil Overlord List.
So... here's Arch-Villain Steelclaw's version of the Evil Overlord List...
1) My legions of the absurd will wear street clothes while on missions but back at home will wear something more like a cross between a gothic darque carnival and an upscale brothel.
2) My ventilation ducts will be large enough to crawl through but will all be pressure sensitive so anything heavier than air touching the inside walls will spring a trap that accelerates anything in them to roughly Mach 1.2. Oh, and the vents will be round and the interior walls rifled. The "exit" of said rollercoaster ride will be aimed directly at a large cement wall with a bullseye painted on it. However the bore of the vent is aimed no where near the bullseye so trespassers won't even win the Kupee doll for their troubles.
3) I'm not going to kill any relatives of mine just to protect my so-called "empire". I'm keeping a LOT of them around so that if anyone is hungering for my blood in vengeance for something I did to them I can offer a few cousins to them in hopes of sating that need. "Hey, it's not 100% MY blood but it's at least 25%.... if I give you four of them it's practically the same thing!"
4) While shooting is not too good for my enemies, I have to admit that drugging them and taking pictures of them "obviously drunk" and partying with the Carnival of Shadows to post on the internet is a lot more satisfying in the long run. Also it boosts membership sales to my website.
5) While I don't HAVE an artifact that is the source of my power, I would desperately start rumors that I do. I would also disobey rule 5 further by hiding said fake object somewhere in a far-away place... probably Lord Recluse's living room ... or maybe his john. Either way when the heroes return with the object to destroy me with it or break it to steal away my "powers" I can make a dramatic show of gasping and choking as I apparently die before them... then drop a 400 ton anvil on their heads.
6) Are you kidding? Gloating is half the fun. I will DEFINITELY gloat over their predicaments... but I will do so via a video feed from my winter home in the bahamas. Oh, and I will not limit my gloating to predicaments I created... if a hero ate a bad burrito and is agonizing the aftereffects on the toilet they can count on a video monitor popping up from their toilet tank.
7) Actually, my response will be "Armies? You think there are THAT many people around willing to follow me? I'm not the most stable Arch-Villain on the wiki list you know..."
8) If my advesary said "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" my most likely response would be "if you have to explain a joke it ceases to be funny" followed closely by "You think *I* know?"
9) After I kidnap the beautiful princess or some other attractive heroine/victim sort of person I will be setting her free almost immediately. I'll face heroes... I'll even tussle with another AV if necessary... but I'm not risking wife-aggro!
10) I will DEFINITELY include a self-destruct button, big, red with lots of signs and arrows pointing towards it. I will install such buttons practically everywhere and especially on really important gadgets in my arsenal. However, they will literally be self-destruct buttons, since pressing them will only result in the button itself popping into oblivion.
11) I won't kill infants in the first place. It's not that the Arch-Villain version of myself isn't evil enough for such things but... to be honest... I didn't think the dead-babies jokes were all that funny even when I was a kid.
12) I will interrogate my enemies wherever I want to. But since MY interrogations tend more towards the "What's your favorite color!? What's the capital of Florida?! NO! It's not Tallahassee... the capital of Florida is F you fool!" variety I don't think my captives will be coherent enough to mount an offensive.
13) I will be secure in my superiority... but I will soon be caught up in my obsession with relativity and begin stating that "well, I'm better at this but you're probably better at other things... we need to define what it is we're comparing before we can really... I KNOW! I'll make a spreadsheet and we can judge our relative superiority over several categories!"
14) I will not waste time making my enemy's death look like an accident... actually most of my enemies won't die... except in a "public opinion"/dignity sense... and I certainly will want to take credit for being the one who coated the little dias Synapse stands on with axle grease just to see his little legs blur as he tries to keep his balance.
15) I will make it clear that I understand the meaning of "mercy"... it's mispelled french for "thank you."
16) One of my advisors will be a 5 year old child. If he doesn't laugh at my story boards of nefarious plans then I'll know it's time to scrap it. Oh, and said child will be raised on a diet of nothing but old Warner Bros and Tom and Jerry cartoons... he will NEVER be allowed to watch a Disney Feature Film.
17) All slain enemies will be stuffed with candy and sold as pinatas to underpriveleged children.
18) My undercover agents won't have any identifying marks since most of them would never admit to being associated with me in the first place. 90% of them will desperately try to use white out on your monitor to cover up the "Steelclaw Minion" assignation under their enemy title.
19) The hero is entitled to a last request which I will do my absolute best to Monkey Paw into something 10 times worse than what I had planned for them in the first place. If I can't twist it around to my amusement I'll use it as an escape plan in anticipation of things going awry.. "A BLT with extra mayo, hmmm? Okay, you wait here... I'll fly to the mainland and grab you one... oh... did you want fries with that?"
20) I will employ a countdown with a digital display but instead of numbers it will be the words of one of my favorite songs. When the song completes the device will engage. I anticipate lots of confused heroes screaming "Oh no! Is this the fourth or the fifth chorus of Hey Jude?! I've lost count!" "I think it's the extended cut! We're Doomed!"
21) I will not hire Mad Scientists... they don't bathe regularly... their hair styles get on my nerves after awhile... and they ALWAYS whip out the maniacal laughter before I've properly delivered the punch line to my jokes.
22) I WILL utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know" but it will always be followed by "Who put the bop in the bop-shebop-shebop?"
23) When I employ people as advisers I will make absolutely sure it's not another one of David Letterman's joke writers trying to infiltrate and steal my material... I'm not being fooled by THAT one again.
24) I already have a son, but I wouldn't so much worry that he would usurp my power so much as he would ruin all my punch lines by trying to add his own variation of them or tell everyone what television show I stole the joke from.
25) I already have a daughter too. I don't really have to worry so much about her as she'd be too busy reading manga and watching anime to fall for any male hero's rugged good looks. However, she WOULD make many of them extremely squeamish as she told them which OTHER male heroes she could picture them in a slash fic with.
26) I actually already practice my maniacal laughter on a daily basis so wouldn't be able to resist whipping it out when the occassion demanded. However, since MY maniacal laughter sounds a lot like a rabid cartoon chipmunk being sucked backwards through a jet engine while gargling olive oil, I think my enemies will be too busy staring at me incredulously to take advantage of my distraction.
27) I will hire a team of gothic designers to dress my minions. I will, however, keep these designers well employed since I'll likely change my mind every month or so about what I want them all wearing. "I'm tired of the Carnival look... I think I want an Alice in Wonderland theme now... oh... and less on the Burton, heavy on the McGee.."
28) I wouldn't be tempted with unlimited power in the first place... let's face it... a guy who willingly deletes high level characters to start over... and willfully creates an even MORE binding and restricting set of rules on himself over and above those already in the game... isn't really interested in unlimited power.
29) I will make sure every one of my minions is thoroughly trained in one of my two perfected and personalized hand to hand combat styles... those of Sleeping Cow Kung-Fu or Three Stooges Style Martial Arts.
30) I will maintain a realistic appraisal of my vulnerabilities and strengths. Keeping this in mind, I will bug every... EVERY... contact in Paragon City, the Rogue Isles and Praetoria (just to be sure). If any contact operating in a zone higher than an experience level I feel comfortable with mentions my name I will leave the warehouse/office building/etc they mention immediately. I may actually order my minions to dress up in Arachnos uniforms just to get the heroes, etc in question to never trust that contact again.
31) I will definitely create vulnerable spots on my devices... especially my humanoid robots. However, I will place them in locations that your average hero would be a little hesitant or squeamish about accessing in the first place. "Wait a minute... you mean I have to put my arm in between that robots buttocks? Up to the shoulder?" "Yeah, and then you'll probably need to search around a little bit... the detonation switch is kinda small... oh... and when you find it there's likely to be an explosive release of some kind... but that's okay... you're a tanker so you should survive it..." That way... even if they DO manage to destroy my indestructible robot... at least I'll get a laugh out of it.
32) If I am engaged in a duel to the death with a hero I will not bother with letting him have his weapon back to confuse him... my endless stream of 'yo mamma' insults and lewd hints about his probable ancestry will accomplish that feat...
33) I will never have an attractive member of the opposite sex, prisoner or no, sent to my bedchamber. For one thing the prisoner wouldn't HAVE to kill me... my wife would take care of that for her. -
Masochist? Hmmm... well there WERE those four or five lost years in Louisville, Kentucky... but I can't discuss that without breaking the teen rating... besides... I don't bend that way anymore.
Moving on...
I find it a little amusing (but then again I find EVERYTHING a little amusing) that whenever I mention my frequent and accounts-wide resets people always come with reasons I don't have to. I delete and repeat because I enjoy playing the way I play, that's pretty much it.
When I announce another restart it's not because I'm begging for excuses not to do it. I don't really see myself as a guy standing on the ledge of a tall building while half the crowd below are screaming "you have something to live for" and the other half is chanting "jump jump.. but not on my beemer!"
It's just that I'm the forum's version of the class clown and no class clown worth the title is going to pass up on the opportunity of being laughed at for some wierd quirk, ailment or deformity. And, to be honest, you're laughing WITH me on this one because I laugh at myself for this behavior.
The reason I do the whole reset thing isn't because of my masochistic tendencies (not that I ... er.. have any that is... ::can't quite meet your eyes:: ) or because I'm a glutton for punishment. I do my resets because I am VERY much a Journey>Destination kind of person and because trying my characters out under a new rules system keeps the game eternally new and fresh for me.
If I ever did get a character all the way to 50, maxed out their Incarnation powers, got every badge, climbed every mountain, etc I would probably lean back in my chair... nod my head in satisfaction... then say "Now what?" and check out how spreadsheet-able Worn Out Recycled Characters 12 was.
So just shake your heads and laugh with me. No need to feel bad about my resets... trust me... I don't. -
This has nothing to do with me being an Arch-Villain... or a pancake for that matter... but it popped into my head the moment I looked at Ashcraft's avatar...
"Squirrels... Squirrels... Squirrels...
At the Nuthouse in Fort Lauderdale...
Squirrels... Squirrels... Squirrels...
Get up on the stage 'n shake their furry tails..." -
Quote:Power sets never cause me to reset since I can just make a new character with those powers. It's not unfair to prior characters. Content rarely effects my Tournament since I can always run my existing characters through new content via sidekicking or Ouroboros.Originally Posted by Rangle M. Down
Steelclaw maybe correct. The devs might be releasing Freedom to drive Steelclaw even further around the bend.
Consider these things they've talked about:
- Releasing new power sets more often.
- Releasing new content more often.
So Steel, if StJ comes out 1 month after Freedom Launches, does the tourney get restarted, or are you taking that into account?
If they release new power sets once a month, or every other month, will that cause a reset?
The thing that makes me reset the most often are rewards. Reward Merits, Alignment Merits, AE Tickets and the like have always caused deletions and restarts. Another thing that does it is taking something that is game-encompassing which was very difficult in the past and making it easy. The best example of that now is bringing "Villain" ATs hero-side and vice-versa. At this point it took 20 levels of time investment in a completely different zone/world to get a Corruptor to Paragon. As of Freedom you just need to go through the Tutorial. -
Already an AV? I'm hurt... I'll admit to being an arch-villain as soon as they come out with a purchasable Lord Nemesis Plushie. You pull the cord on its back and it says "It's a Nemesis Plot... It's ALL a Nemesis Plot!"
Any-who...
Top Ten Reasons I Defeated Steelclaw Badge description:
10) I cheated... profusely.
9) I spammed every purple, yellow and red inspiration I had in my tray... then bummed from some a team member and popped those as well.
8) HAXXORZ!
7) I pelted him with his Kryptonite... the most heinous thing under the sun... the bane of all creation... carrots.
6) I debuffed his to hit and defense by rolling in a portable TV/DVD player with Twilight playing. Then hit him hard while his eyes were closed, hands covering his ears and screaming LA LA LA as loud as he could.
5) I approached him and declared "You sir, sold me a dead parrot!" The team stalker struck while Steelclaw was responding "It's not dead... it's pining!"
4) I knew going in that Steelclaw's "Jester Power Set" had no power over my "Straight Man Defense Set."
3) My battle cry was "My name is Inigo Montoya... you pwned my father... prepare to die!" Steelclaw admired me so much he didn't have the heart to attack. I felt no such obligation.
2) I knew clicking the computer glowie just beside him BEFORE the battle would activate the Excel program and cause Steelclaw to fight at a strong debuff to to hit and defense as he kept trying to record the data for the fight.
1) I told him the Developers had completely revamped the power sets of his henchmen and lackies so their advancment would be different than his own. After he deleted and re-created himself as a 1st level Arch-Villain I obliterated him.
Top Ten Reasons You Meddling Do-Gooders Will Never Catch Me...
10) You didn't read my name properly... much like Fake Nemesis, you have fallen for my TinClaw clone!
9) Because I have mined the floor on which you stand with 1000 Whoopie Cushions filled with poison gas!
8) Because you're do-gooders... and beating me up wouldn't be very NICE now... would it?
7) Because I'm covered from head to toe in bacon grease! Even if you grab me I'll squirt right out of your grasp! How did I have time to put on the bacon fat when I didn't know you were coming 'til now? Ummm... It's top secret.... and it has nothing to do with me being naked either...
6) Because any moment now a horde of love-slave Carnival of Shadows and Knives of Artemis soldiers will arrive to save their Lord of Naughtiness! Aaaaany moment now.... Yep... jus' a few more seconds.... aaaaaand NOW! No.. okay NOW! Errrr... can I make a quick call?
5) Because this is a Task Force and you're only on the first mission... DUH!
4) Why should I even bother telling you why you can't catch me? Like most people in the game you have me on Ignore already anyway...
3) Because by the time you've read this far I've already left the room, accessed my secret tunnel, climbed in my get-away Rocket Unicorn and gotten half-way to the next mission door.
2) BEHOLD! Before fighting me you must best my SPAM GOLEM! And you without the required Holy Spork of Slaying...
1) You forgot the dog. No group of meddling do-gooders can unmask or defeat the bad guy without the dog. -
Nemesis might have his plots, but the Arch-Villain Steelclaw is about as subtle as a bubble-wrap covered sledgehammer. Here are a few "little jokes" our Steelclaw AV currently has on his drawing board.
* Go to every eye doctor in Paragon; replace air puffers in Glaucoma Testers with wind generators capable of hurricane force air blasts. Set up web cams to live EvilSteelclaw.com web site for fans.
* Hack the Paragon Times servers and link them to adult fan and slash fics of various super heroes on the web. Set up an origin program to fool the system into thinking they come direct from the Associated Press as real stories.
* Replace Back Alley Brawler's power gloves with child's Hulk SMASH green foam rubber gloves complete with Crash! Bang! BOOM! sound effects.
* Steal as many Nemesis Automatons as possible. Hack and replace dialog programs with dialog from Desperate Guy and Turn Down Girl. Let them loose upon the general populace; watch city morale plummet.
* Create a mixture of concentrated Red Bull and Superadine... put several cans in large punch bowl of ice with sign reading "free samples"... leave where Synapse can find it.
* Go to Virtue Server and hi-jack blimp above Atlas Park. Wait until population is at least 30% cat-girls and release aerosole Catnip.
* Commission detailed Hollywood backdrop effect that appears to be a glorious city with sparkling spires and busy, bustling streets but is actually the size and shape of a billboard. Place directly in front of hero appearance point just inside gates to Boomtown.
* Hire Extreme Home Makeovers team. Make up some story about a family living in a home that hasn't been completed despite working on it for several years now. Direct the bus to North East corner of Steel Canyon.
* Buy a large, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome Style bus complete with armor and armaments. Hire the flaming clown from Twisted Metal as a bus driver. Tell him to (finally) make some "stops" in Atlas Park.
* Three Words: Anatomically Correct Statues.
* Find willing suicide bomber to carry experimental Exploding Cream Pie bomb into AE Building and set it off. Volunteer must have little will to live or purpose in life. Note to Self: Talk to Day Job Recruiter.
* Attain Staff of Ultimate Magical Sparkly Power. Insure Staff HEAVILY against theft. Give to Azuria for safekeeping.
* Capture Fusionette (no big problem there). When hero shows up to rescue her offer to just "drop her off at the next enemy stronghold so you don't have to lead her wandering self back to the mission door while she aggros the entire map." Watch them take a tick toward Vigilante when they accept.
* Create a special dye/ink that disappears in direct sunlight but reappears in dark or shaded areas. Offer to sell it to various covert villain groups. To show how it works, steal Sister Psyche's celophane super suit and use the ink on the green bits. Be nearby when she shows up for work in the shadow of the hospital the next morning. Wait for noon.
* Get very powerful, yet highly sensitive and detail specific laser. From a distance with a telescope, etch "Space for Rent" on forehead of Statesman's half-helmet.
* While he is occupied in his lab, sneak into the storage space for Positron's Armor and fill it with lime jell-o.
* While they are out enter the Manticore mansion. Remove cap from shower head. Crush up powdered blue paint pellet attained at any teacher's supply store. Fill cap with blue powdered paint and re-attach to nozzle. Set up camera and small audio speaker to play the Smurf "La-LA, La-la-la-LA!" song when Manticore emerges from trap.
Yes... I am perhaps a wee bit too familiar with that last one. Let's just say I make for an "interesting" room-mate. -
Quote:I'm pretty sure "looking kinda stupid" is something that happened a LONG time ago as far as my Tournament rules go. If people don't think I'm an idiot for what I do by now then they likely never will.Originally Posted by Rebel_Scum
Why would you delete them all now, rather than when the changes go live? What're you going to do until then, go mess around in beta or something? No offense but that just seems like somewhat of an oversight to me. I mean if you remake them all now then in the strictest sense the ones made now are still disadvantaged compared to ones made after Freedom goes live, due to two weeks of playing without all the new shinies. While if you don't remake any of them now, since you've already deleted them, you have nothing to play until Freedom goes live. And if they delay Freedom for whatever reason you're going to look kinda stupid.
And even if Freedom does take a while to come out the time will be well-spent. Once I have all my rules and spreadsheets revamped I plan on concentrating my CoH play time on the Market. I've done this before to great advantage. I'll play the market with a traderbot on every server.
If I do this right I should be able to start every one of my new Tournament characters with 500 Million Influence each. Not a bad nest egg to start with. -
Quote:Errr... well... the Tournament changes you see...Originally Posted by Jasra
Isn't the tourney team-based? As long as the teams are balanced now, and you balance any new chars you make between teams, shouldn't the changes be a wash, effecting all teams equally?
It USED to be team based with a team on every server... NOW however it is made up of two-person teams with one member on each of my two accounts so they can level-pact together.
Since it's now Dynamic Duos with no chance of ever expanding those teams, there really isn't chance of equality through averaging.
It's all a moot point in any case... I.... ummm... deleted all my characters last night to reboot.
Yeah, yeah, I know... -
Hmm... I see list potential here...
* Do the Tower up like the water tower on the Warner Bros Studio lot... make the roof scenes from Animaniacs running around bopping each other with hammers, etc while Pinky and the Brain plot nefariously.
* Large flying saucer has crashed into the tower (hollow so as not to overload the support). The roof is stewn with debris and several arguing and slightly injured miniature green spacemen in tinfoil suits trying to recover and figure out what to do. At least some of these martians must be attempting to "disguise" themselves as humans and at LEAST one must be frantically pointing up at the windows to alert the others they've been spotted by watching children.
* Get some of the waterproof roofing sheet and a clear plastic laminate. When the children are first admitted to the hospital they go through a ceremony in which they step in a pan of paint then step on the small square of roofing sheet. They may choose the color (per foot) and sign their name or what they'd like. Once dry the laminate is applied. The child may watch from the window as hospital staff add their "hollywood footprints" to the Roof of Fame.
* Make the roof into a giant checkerboard design. (take up ALL the available space possible). Make up giant checkers and chess pieces. Give the kids in those rooms the option of challenging another room to a game. With walky-talkies let the kids tell one or two people on the roof what pieces to move where as they play one another.
* Same as above but have it be a generic board game with die rolls and over-sized pieces. For a real hoot you could get poster board and make up "game cards" that give penalties or bonuses. This option would allow all the rooms to play at once. Also, get the largest, most obnoxious novelty dice you can find so the players can see the result from their rooms.
* Nothing during the day. It looks like a normal, boring white roof. However you can spray paint the whole thing with a lot of cool designs and the like with special paint. Have the whole roof wired with blacklights that can be turned on once the sun goes down so the artwork becomes clearly visible.
* You know those fast food signs or movie marquis that you can change the letters on depending on the special of the day? Put clear plastic runners across the waterproofing sheets held in place by glue. These plastic runners serve as frames to hold in giant letters. Have one row per room. When they first check in have someone slide the letters of their name as a welcome to the hospital pick me up. If their stay is likely to be extended let their family and friends call in (if they can't make it to the hospital) and leave messages to be printed on the roof for the child.
Anyway... there's a few ideas off the top of my head. I'll add more if I think of 'em. -
Quote:The main problem is that my tournament isn't reeeeeeeeeeeally a tournament in the strictest sense of the word. There is no REAL winner because there isn't an ending point.Originally Posted by DMystic
While I don't fully understand how your tournaments work, I see the problems these changes will cause.
Now I'm not sure if this is even possible but couldn't your current tournament be closed to new entrants until it finishes, then you could start up a new one having actually completed a tournament for a change.
Again not sure if closing to new entrants is even possible, but traditional tournaments have a close off point so a similar thing could be done for you no?
My tournament is more a structured and highly organized method by which I play my characters, create new ones and compare their individual performance against one another.
So, since there isn't really a way I can "complete" a tournament, I can't just finish this one out and then adopt all the changes for the next one.
Oh... that and I'm insane... there's that to consider too. -
My feelings for the Developers of this game is such a writhing, churning maelstrom of love and hate I sometimes wonder if they're somehow trying to MAKE me bi-polar.
Fine.
Anyway, on to my conundrum...
FOR: Travel powers at 4th level makes for a new advantage for low level characters who won't have to run through dangerous areas like the older ones did.
AGAINST: I JUST did this!
FOR: Introduction of Epic and Patron power pools at 35th level completely changes the structure of acquisition and slotting for those powers, giving another advantage to newer characters.
AGAINST: Every... EVERY minute I just devoted to the Double XP Weekend will be a wasted one.
FOR: The first things I plan on buying (if I have enough points) are expanded enhancement trays and such. Newer characters will not have to make as many runs to sell as older ones, resulting in a higher xp:admin time ratio.
AGAINST: I now have two... TWO!... characters of 42nd level. So close. OH so close...
FOR: Freedom will allow characters of any AT to go immediately into Paragon or the Rogue Isles. All current characters who had to go through Praetoria and so missed two Safeguards/Mayhems, early contacts, first opportunity for Ouro Portal, etc will be disadvantaged.
AGAINST: I will once again be the target for ridicule and derision by my game-playing peers... although I might be a wee bit too late on this one in any case.
FOR: Monthly signature stories will have greater rewards than standard missions, something not available to older characters when they were created.
AGAINST: You know what? I can't think anymore... excuse me while I go assume a fetal position in a nice dark corner for a while. -
So we've discussed what our favorite Signature Characters do when out in the public eye, but what about when they're alone? We all have hidden quirks and secret masks that we only put on when no one else is around. Some of them might well get us arrested.
Not saying mine do... er... just sayin'... really... I'm perfectly normal when I'm all alone... absolutely... normal as the day is long... what? WHAT? Just... just read the danged list, would ya?
Manticore: When Sister Psyche goes away for the weekend only four words matter.... Danny DeVito Film Festival!
Scirocco: Sequined glove? Check. Full length mirror? Check. Sound system blasting Michael Jackson's "Bad"? Check. Okay, ready to undergo Self-Confidence Boosting Lip Synch Sequence One.
Mirror Spirit: A little self-reflection is always good for the soul.
Foreshadow: It's always good to reminisce a little bit about the near future.
Zwillinger: If I just practice it enough a broadway producer is SURE to sponsor my one-man play entitled "Phantom of the Sound of West Side Cats on a Hot Tin Rent of Oz!"
Lanaru the Mad: Gets caught up on the latest Steelclaw lists.
Ghost Widow: Desperately attempting seances and any means necessary to summon the spirit of Patrick Swayze from the beyond.
War Witch: Continues compiling the "Crisis of Infinite War Witches" compendium of all her various selves.
Beastyle: Holds a memorial service for the latest gray hair plucked from his head.
Anti-Matter: Agonizes over whether or not to finally revoke his membership in the Emperor Cole Fan Club... ultimately decides to give it one more week.
Captain Castillo: Mocks Beastyle's antics while reinforcing the layer of super-glue on his scalp to keep his hair in place prior to his color rinse.
Fusionette: Did not qualify for this category as private moments are few and far between when she is NOT in the clutches of one enemy group or another.
Dark Respite: Feverishly researching cloning so as to FINALLY be able to catch up with her video back-log.
Lord Recluse: Knit one... pearl two...
Statesman: Enjoying his latest scarf from the mysterious "Anonymous Admirer."
Lord Nemesis: Yet another prank call to the Paragon City Bus Administrative Offices telling them of yet another bomb placed on yet another random bus.
Tunnel-Rat: Wading through the horde of "helpful" emails advising her what movies, manga, anime, cartoons, youtube videos, memes, lolcats, video games and assorted other media she needs to experience in order to get her "Geek Cred" back.
Captain Mako: Little Mermaid on Blu-Ray and a pallet of Kleenex.
Silver Mantis: Every Navy Seals "Hell Week" documentary ever made and 50 cases of Gatorade.
Neuron: Revising his auto-biography "1001 Reasons I Love ME!" yet again because he keeps over-shooting his target number.
Arcanaville: Once more fighting the frightening allure of Numerology and its explanation of practically everything.
Shady Mac: Trying to perfect his pasta dish in an effort to finally cash in on his name.
Darrin Wade: Painting "MAGIC HERE" on the roof of the Midnighter's Club building for the next Rikti Invasion.
Television: Desperately trying to unscramble the Playboy Channel signal.
Steelclaw: About to lay down to actually get some sleep for a change when an idea for a lame joke list pops into his head and won't stop nattering at him until he gets up... boots the computer... goes on line and writes the bloody thing. (It should be noted that this list was written at 2:12 AM EST) -
Realize my characters are all Level Pacted in pairs with each other so Double XP Weekend for ME was more like normal xp weekend for the rest of you... still the 2nd member of each pair got the xp along with their active partner so it all equals out...
D'Shan Steelclaw(claws/regen scrapper) & Edie Wyldfire(fire/dev blaster) 39th to 42nd
La Bella Mafia(thugs/therm MM) & Assisted Afterlife(dp/nrg blaster) 30th to 33rd
Lady Arc-Light(elec/elec blaster) & Ranger Lord(db/wp scrapper) 8th to 14th -
Re-Ro....?!
::Begins stomping feet on the ground while plugging ears with fingers::
LALALALALALALA...
I'm not listening...
LALALALA...