Mirror_Man

[ QUOTE ]
The Galactic Protectorate - 01: #47143

3 stars.

Pros: good language, attention to detail, plenty of varied opponents (but see below).

Cons: First of all, the story doesn't grab my attention right away. It obscures and mystifies and expects me to do all the work to find out why I should care about this alternate dimension and the enemies who are conquering it. I don't expect everything to be handed to me on a plate but I think it needs something to grab me right from the start. I haven't played the other parts yet so I don't know how the entire story pans out, so I won't go into the plot. The first mission seemed completely unnecessary except possibly to set a mood and establish that this dimension has suffered a disastrous event. If it had been combined with the second mission and delivered the clues I found there, it would have made more sense. The second mission was also pointless, on its own - Synapse even says that it was almost a complete waste of time, except for a overheard comment about /another/ place where the real action of the arc waits.

Unfortunately, the third mission was bugged. After I saved the hostage, as soon as he reached the elevators the mission failed. I won't hold this against you but unless a fix comes out soon, perhaps you could turn the hostage into an ally. This also meant that I might have missed any clues I would have got from the other objective.

Now, for the custom enemies. They are TOO varied - too many different kinds and all of them have different names, power combos, etc. There's no distinctive theme to them except that they all are pretty girls with cute hairstyles. I know that they are supposed to be gathered from 12 different "armies" with different power specialisations, but I think you'd be better off if you used less variation.

Since your arc is already divided into 3 parts you could perhaps divide the custom enemies into three parts as well. Use soldiers from armies 1-4 in this arc, armies 5-8 in arc 2, and armies 9-12 in arc 3. Sometimes less is more. These enemies are so varied and different that it becomes meaningless to try to plan or strategize, and since they can show up in so many combinations it's unlikely that they will synergize well, which means that we don't /have/ to use strategy.

I'd go for more synergized combinations and less variation for a interesting fights. These enemies are going to show up a lot over three arcs so you will want them to be as fun as possible to fight.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thanks for the feeback, FredrikSvanberg!

I changed the hostage in the last mission of the arc to an ally, so the bug should be fixed now. Thanks for letting me know about it!

I'm a bit confused about how you think there's no "theme" to my custom group Of all the reviews I've gotten about my group, the one universal compliment seems to be how well-designed and thematic my custom group is, even if the reviewer didn't like anything else about my arc

As for this custom group showing up over the course of 3 story arcs... that's not exactly true

Thanks again for the review!

OK, ready to do my first "official" review!

*****

Arc Name: The Doctor Returns

Author: FredrikSvanberg

Character Used: Level 50 DB/WP Scrapper

Mission 1:

So, I begin the Arc, and find that the contact is "My Computer". This irks me immediately; this isn't the first MS Story Arc I've played that had "My Computer" or some variation thereof as the Arc Contact, and with these types of contacts it's always the same problem; there is some presupposition (however small) by the author of the arc about the player's character, and it can bother alot of players if those presumptions are incorrect. Moving on, I get an e-mail disguised as spam informing me that the forces behind AE Entertainment are using the system to make copies of Heroes based on their digital data. My mysterious contact invites me into a "hacked" AE mission, and I accept.

Inside the mission, I encounter some council... or computer-generated council enemies, as it were. Halfway into the mission, I encounter Fusionette, being accosted by AE Entertainment admins. Unfortunately, in the virtual world, ordinary AE Entertainment employees have superpowers. After freeing Fusionette, I continue on to find... a whole bunch of other Fusionettes; apparently, a whole bunch of data files copied from Fusionette's original file. On a side note, I notice that the dialog of all the Fusionettes are the same; normally, I would take points off for that, but seeing as how these Fusionettes are digital copies, it makes sense given the story. I defeat the Fusionette's along with the remaining Council, and mission complete.

Mission 2:

So, I read the intro dialog, and once again am irked somewhat. Apparently, the doctor (who is apparently also one of the author's characters in-game) "practically invented" the AE System, and then Crey stole it. Considering how close the author has stuck with the "canon" explanation of the AE system for this arc, this kind of non-canon boasting seems awkward. Anyway, the doctor has loaded special admin privileges into an otherwise ordinary AE mission, aptly titled "Kill All Bugz LOL!!!1".

I enter the mission, and notice that the only mission objective listed in the navigation window is "Just Ignore the Bugs /Doctor". While the mision objective was stated in the mission intro, it would be nice if the "secret back door" the player is supposed to find was also mentioned in the nav window, as well. Regardless, the titular "bugs" are actually just Arachnids, and I find some of them holding an "Executable Number Six" hostage. After freeing him, he informs me he's a friend of the doctor. and together we find the "secret back door" that gives me admin privileges. Mission complete.

Mission 3:

So, the doctor informs me that, now that I have admin powers, I can search the AE storage database for the hero files they're keeping in storage. To do that, I need to take out the admin who has the access key.

I enter the mission, and find... Freakshow. Freakshow? Yes, apparently AE has hired FREAKSHOW computer technicians. Even inside the virtual world, these freakshow are typing away at their laptops, maintaining the database. As I fight the Freakshow admin, two lines of dialog "No way you could hurt me! Are you haxxoring?" followed by "Only an admin can hurt me in here" seem to be out of order; it seems (to me, at least) that he should say the latter statement first, then the former. After defeating the admin, some AE Entertainment employees show up to stop me from accessing the hero files. After defeating each group, the original hero files snap out of some trance and run away. Side note, it would have been nice if the author changed the original descriptions of the heroes to fit into the story arc. With all the hero files freed, it's mission complete.

Mission 4:

The mission intro informs me that I'm going to be on a strict 60 minute time limit for this mission, which (along with the "Archvillain" warning that is now pre-set into AE story arcs) is one of the warnings every author should include in their story arcs. I'm to upload a file of the doctor (who is apparently a completely digital entity) into the AE Entertainment mainframe while to doctor's hacker friends keep the admins busy.

I enter the mission, and encounter lots of AE Entertainment employees and computers, Most of the computers are "intercepted" by AE technicians before I can upload the file, and some trigger an ambush by AE admins. In any case, I eventually find the right computer and upload the file. Mission complete.

Mission 5

Alright, it's time for the last mission, and the only thing left to do is cover our tracks and wipe out all digital footprints of our interference in the AE system.

I enter the mission, and encounter the first of two bosses... and get considerably irked as I read the dialog of the boss I'm fighting. Why am I so irked now? Because I have a pretty good idea of how this arc will end. After completing the mission, my suspicions are confirmed: pop-up dialog comes on the screen, informing me that the my "real" character has been trapped in a bad AE mission all this time, and the character I ran the mission with was just a "digital copy" who was erased when I wiped out all the files. With that, the story arc ends.

Final Thoughts:

Overall, this was a well-thought out arc; while it didn't fit my personal tastes, the premise was well-executed from start to finish. The storyline flowed nicely, and there were little to no grammar mistakes.

However, the contact bothered me throughout the arc, and just irritated me by the end. Rather than working together with the contact, it feels like your character was a pawn used by the contact to accomplish the doctor's own ends. The presumptions throught the arc (particularly at the end, where your character apparently just finished his or her "first" AE story arc, regardless of how many arcs your character has already finished) are also somewhat irritating.

If I had to give an exact score, I would probably rate this arc 2.5 stars, but as it is...

Final Score: 3 Stars

*****

Alright, I still have 3 open spots left for review requests, so if anyone's interested, there's still time to join the first que!

Accessing Portal Corp. Main Computer…
Enter Passcode: *********
Passcode Accepted… Accessing Profiles…
Enter Universe ID Code: COV-117
Processing… Universe Found
Do you wish to view the current activity in Universe COV-117? Yes
Validating Access Level of User… Access Granted

The Galactic Protectorate: Prologue

“My lord, the perimeter defenses have been breached!” The Arachnos Arbiter informed Lord Recluse, trying his best to maintain his composure in front of the supreme commander of Arachnos. Given the situation at present, however, even the most composed soldier would be hard pressed to remain calm.

The alabaster skyscrapers of the island metropolis known as “Grandville” had been hastily outfitted from roof to base with turrets armed with missiles, plasma shells, flamethrowers, webbing, and a slew of other munitions one could scarcely believe even existed in this world. The streets were filled to overflowing with Arachnos soldiers clashing with the horde of costumed heroes that were continually pouring into the island fortress from all directions. The villains had an advantage in numbers, with roughly 10 soldiers for every hero that was storming the stronghold, but the vast majority of those soldiers were only foot soldiers or the older models of drones. The loss of the higher-ranking officers, high-spec Arachnos Tarantulas, and most of the generals of the Arachnos army in the failed siege of Paragon City just several hours ago had been, as Lord Recluse feared, a fatal blow to Arachnos. Lord Recluse could only watch from his tower as his minions were pushed back, unable to stand up to the Freedom Phalanx, who were leading the charge straight into the heart of Grandville.

Damn it… Lord Recluse thought, clenching his left fist so hard that the strong elastic material, designed by Arachnos scientists to be nigh-unbreakable, split effortlessly. His red eyes glared brighter than they ever had before, visible even under the shadow of his mask, and causing the handful of remaining Arbiters present in the room with Lord Recluse to back away slightly in fear. If only… if only it hadn’t backfired… why?! WHY?!

“WHY?!” Lord Recluses suddenly lashed out, grabbing the nearest technical operative by the throat and pulling his trembling body so close that the panicked Arachnos follower’s face was only an inch from his own. “TELL ME WHY THE DARK HEART BACKFIRED EVEN AFTER ALL THE CONDITIONS HAD BEEN MET! TELL ME HOW THE ARTIFACT I HAVE BEEN SCOURING T HIS PLANET TO FIND FOR OVER 30 YEARS JUST DISAPPEARS IN FRONT OF THOUSANDS OF EYES?!” Lord Recluse quickly spun around so he was facing the window once more, bringing the arm holding his terrified minion with him as he lashed his arm out, slamming the operative head-first against the window so hard the specially-reinforced glass (said to be able to withstand any caliber bullet in existence, and even small explosives) cracked as the operative’s body went limp.

“TELL ME HOW I AM SUPPOSED TO DEFEND MY EMPIRE WITH ONLY THE WEAKEST OF CANNON FODDER AT MY DISPOSAL?!” Lord Recluse roared, pulling his arm back and slamming his minion’s head against the window again, and again, and again. The once small crack now branched out across the entire wall-sized face of the window, yet Lord Recluse continued slamming his now-dead follower’s corpse against the glass. “TELL ME HOW IT CAME TO THIS?! TELL ME!!!” Lord Recluse let out a howl of rage and frustration so loud and animalistic that most of the assembled Arachnos soldiers in the room quickly made a hasty retreat. Only the bravest and most loyal Arbiters (along with Ghost Widow, Lord Recluse’s last remaining general) stayed by their master’s side. With one final thrust, the glass finally gave way, and the follower’s lifeless body crashed through the window of the ziggurat that was Lord Recluse’s headquarters. As the man’s body descended to the battlefield below, the glass shards reflected the light of the early morning sun as they fell, almost in slow-motion, alongside the body of the once proud Arachnos operative.

Lord Recluse closed his eyes and sighed heavily, his entire body shaking as he quietly regained his composure. The sounds of gunfire, explosions, and the screams of both heroes and Arachnos soldiers as they fell in battle were now clearly audible within the previously sound-proof chamber. As Lord Recluse turned away from the window to face his loyal officers, the morning sunlight shone through the destroyed window, revealing 4 large cracks on either side of the rather large hole that now occupied the center of the glass. The morning light was refracted against the destroyed window, each crack across the glass resembling a sinewy leg, with the center hole obstructed by Lord Recluse’s face. The previous anger and desperation in his expression was gone, replaced by the solemn resolve of the veteran of a thousand battles.

“Ghost Widow,” Lord Recluse finally commanded, the sternness and unmistakable tone of authority in his voice enough to snap the Arbiters present out of their shocked states and stand at attention, each one ready to give their lives for their lord and master if necessary. Ghost Widow, who had been floating in a corner of the room with her legs crossed in a sitting position up until this point, uncrossed her legs and lowered her body to the floor. She kept her eyes on Lord Recluse as she stood with her arms crossed, her head slightly cocked to the side as she awaited her orders. Lord Recluse took several steps forward, not turning his head towards Ghost Widow, but nonetheless glancing in her direction so their eyes met.

“Today may very well be the day that Arachnos falls.” Lord Recluse said, his words causing a noticeable stirring amongst the Arbiters present. Noticing this, Lord Recluse turned to address his followers. “But fear not; even if the Heroes overwhelm and destroy this city, Arachnos will NEVER die!” Lord Recluse turned back and looked directly at Ghost Widow, his eyes narrowing. “Isn’t that right? In some way, in some form, Arachnos will survive this day.” Ghost Widow stared back at Lord Recluse, and even on her emotionless, ethereal face, one of the Arbiters present could have sworn he saw a look of revelation in her eyes.

“That is correct.” Answered Ghost Widow, her voice nearly a whisper; she had a cold, distant tone to her voice, even in the situation Arachnos was currently in.

Lord Recluse once again turned to address his officers. “I want all of you to take command of the remaining forces in this building. Defend Arachnos to your last breath!” With his last statement, Lord Recluse raised his fist above his head in determination, and his Arbiters followed suit, swearing their loyalty to Arachnos with a single, unified yell.

As Lord Recluse handed out assignments to each of his Arbiters, his gaze constantly shifted to Ghost Widow, her normally calm expression now showing the faintest hints of anxiousness, uneasiness, and perhaps… fear?

*****

“Push forward, heroes!” Statesman yelled over the battle cries and explosions erupting in the chaos surrounding him. “We’ve almost broken through to Recluse’s inner sanctum! Victory is in sight! Today is the day Arachnos’ tyranny ends once and for all!”

The Freedom Phalanx had taken point in the massive battle, each member leading a battalion of heroes into Grandville from a different flank, making escape impossible. Each member of the Freedom Phalanx was in command of hundreds of heroes as they marched ever closer to Recluse’s fortress. The low-level Arachnos troops were doing their best to keep the heroes at bay with machine gun fire, energy blasts, and grenades constantly hampering the costumed army as they advanced. Every few minutes, the assault would prove to be too much for a hero or two, but the fallen warrior would be replaced by reinforcements from the rear almost instantly, thus the assault never lost momentum. One by one, the make-shift bunkers and sniper nests of the city were cleared or destroyed, and inevitably, the heroes found themselves surrounding Recluses’ headquarters.

“Sister Psyche, I’ve got the northeast passage locked up.” Manticore radioed in as he shot down three drones simultaneously with his trademark arrows. “How are things going on your end?”

“Just finishing up here on the southern end.” Sister Psyche responded as a spray of machine gun fire ricocheted harmlessly off her force field. Turning towards the source, Sister Psyche spotted several Arachnos Wolf Spiders using the fallen debris of a building for cover. She effortlessly unleashed a psychic shockwave, dislodging the top of the debris and burying the soldiers in the falling rubble. “Positron?”

“Just got done with the southeast passage.” Positron reported, kicking aside a charred Arachnos helmet at his feet. “How about you, Synapse? Taking your time on the northwestern route?”

“Taking my- oh, that’s hilarious.” Synapse groaned, even as he used his trademark super speed to plow through a defensive line of 4 Wolf Spiders. Sensing the hero, a small pack of Arachnos Tarantulas opened fire, but failed to hit anything except the ground. “Positron, do us all a favor and save the mid-battle quips to me, alright?” Synapse said as he hurled a charged ball of electricity into the midst of the tarantulas, overloading their circuitry and causing them to erupt into flames.

“I’ve almost completed my primary objective.” Citadel’s monotone voice reverberated across the radio waves. Checking his surroundings, Citadel detected several Arachnos Drones attempting to retreat. Their flight speed was nothing compared to Citadel’s, however, and in a matter of seconds he intercepted the drones, knocking them out of the sky with ease. “The western path is secure.” Citadel reported.

“There hasn’t been much resistance here in the southwest.” Numina said, tending to the injuries of several fallen heroes as she watched the few remaining Arachnos soldiers in the southwest path fall. “Most of the remaining Arachnos troops seem to be falling back to Recluse’s headquarters.”

“In other words, they’re regrouping to make one final stand.” Back Alley Brawler said as he backhanded a charging Wolf Spider, knocking him out instantly. “I’m really getting too old for this.” He chuckled as he watched the remaining Arachnos soldiers retreat into Lord Recluse’s headquarters. “Eastern passage is clear. You ready, Statesman?”

“Yeah…” Statesman whispered as he gazed out across the battlefield, the many colors of the costumed heroes surrounding Lord Recluse’s headquarters offered a stark contrast to the dark, muted hue of the fortress itself. “I want all Freedom Phalanx members to regroup at the northern entrance with me.” Statesman commanded, signaling to the army of heroes to hold their positions. “Knowing Stefan, he’s probably set up an ambush at every entrance.” Statesman clenched his fists, his eyes narrowing as he recalled the memories of his once-friend, the memories of a life he lived an eternity ago. “We’ll storm the north entrance together; no other hero is to move until we’ve secured the first floor.”

Several minutes later, the entire Freedom Phalanx stood at the gates of Lord Recluse’s fortress, the army of heroes only several yards behind them, ready to move in the instant the signal was given. Finally, Statesman nodded to his teammates, and the entire Freedom Phalanx stormed the entrance in unison. Stefan… Statesman thought as he drew his fist back, preparing to dispose of the large, armored door leading into Lord Recluses’ inner sanctum. Let’s bring an end to this… forever.

*****

A small probe, far more advanced than anything found on Earth, quietly observed the events unfold as it maintained its position just outside of Earth’s orbit. Its high-powered optical lens gathered every detail of the events taking place on the surface of the planet, just as it had been doing for years. As if a silent cue had been given, the probe withdrew, traveling faster than any space shuttle as it distanced itself from the planet it had been observing. It was soon joined by thousands of other probes identical to itself, all of which had been surveying the planet as well. All of a sudden, the space surrounding the probes seemed to ripple, as if they’d entered a non-existent body of water, and in the next instant they were gone.

An undetermined number of light-years away, the probes resurfaced, heading directly towards an enormous ship, the size of which was roughly equal to a large city found on Earth. The top of the ship was dome-shaped and protected by armor of alien origin, which shone a bright white against the light of the surrounding stars. The bottom of the ship housed gargantuan engines and armaments that were generations ahead of those found on Earth. Across the dome-shaped hull of the ship, a large insignia could be seen, resembling a large star; and underneath, the words “Galactic Protectorate” could be seen, written in a language many civilizations across the galaxy would recognize as Lilin.

The probes all entered one of docking stations the ship sported, and thereafter headed straight for the communications hub. Once inside, the probes all docked at an electronic debriefing port, where the ship’s mainframe downloaded the digital information the probes had gathered. The information was sent to the private quarters of the ship’s captain (and currently it’s only inhabitant).

The captain of the ship, known by many throughout the galaxy as “Lord Cosmic”, watched intently as the information recorded by the probes played on holographic viewports covering every wall of the darkened room.

I’ve finally found you… Lord Cosmic thought, a slight smile visible on his face as the lights emanating from the viewports flickered in the darkened room. My long lost siblings.

Since Mission Architect has rekindled my interest in writing once again, I've decided to write a supplemental fanfic that ties in with my story, which I'll be posting chapter-by-chapter in this Thread

Since Architect Enterainment was introduced into the game, I knew that there would be literary hurdles that would be insurmountable within the Mission Architect system, and that I would have to take a slightly different approach to the way I usually write stories in order to have the plot "work" within the parameters of the game engine. Fortunately, I think I've worked out a system that will allow me to tell my entire story and still fit within the confines of Mission Architect, though only time will tell if I'm correct.

I realize that very few people who play the game visit these boards, let alone this section of the forums. Rest assured, this fanfic is NOT required reading for those who wish to enjoy my arcs. This fanfic is exactly what I call it: "supplemental". It's a way for me to flesh out some of the characters and plot points of my arcs in ways that would be impossible within the MA system, and a way for those who DO visit these forums and ARE interested in my story to learn a bit more about the world I've created.

I plan on posting a new chapter in this fanfic once every week or every other week. I've been lax about keeping a schedule with some of my other stories in the past, but I plan on rectifying that habit with this fanfic. For the few of you who are interested, I hope you enjoy my story

Alright, after giving it ALOT (and I do mean ALOT) of thought, I"ve finally decided to join many other posters on this board in starting my own review thread.

As with every review thread on this board, my reviews will be subjective based on my personal preferences and tastes in storylines. I'll do my best to be as objective as possible and lenient in any small errors I find, but if I play an arc I don't enjoy, I will be honest and explain the problems I had to the author in my review.

I will also do my best to maintain this thread as much as possible, and not let it die off as many other posters have done in the past. In order to do that, I'm going to have to limit the amount of reviews I do at one time. In other words, I'll take a certain number of requests, then "close" any further requests for reviews in this thread until I've finished reviewing those arcs. Once that's done, I'll "open" the thread up again for more requests of arcs to review. This is all to prevent me from getting overwhelmed with requests for arc reviews.

Like many reviewers in the past, I'll also ask that those who request their arc to be reviewed play at least one of my arcs in return. Once you've played through my arc(s), please write some feedback in this thread, along with the rating you gave the arc(s). It can be a detailed review of the entire arc(s), or just a paragraph outlining what you thought of the story. What you rate my arc(s) will have no bearing on my review of your arc(s), so be honest! If you didn't like something about the arc(s), tell me! Constructive criticism will only help me make my story better. I only ask that you write more than just "this arc was awesome" or "this arc was horrible", since that really doesn't tell me what you enjoyed/hated about my story.

Once your review is posted in my other thread, I'll play your arc(s) and write a detailed review in this thread. Remember, this thread is for MY reviews of OTHER people's arcs, so please write any reviews/advice/tips you have for MY arcs in this thread.

Wow, that was longer than I thought it would be! Alright, this thread is now open for review requests! The first 5 Posters to request a review in this Thread will get it once they've provided feedback on one or more of my arc(s). I will not be accepting any review requests after that until I've finished my reviews. Please do not post a request in this thread after the first 5 until after I "open" this thread up for review requests again, since I'm trying to keep this thread as organized as possible.

Alright, which arcs will be included in my first 5 reviews?

So, after thinking about it for a long time, I've decided to make a thread for people who want to play and review the arcs in my ongoing story, "The Galactic Protectorate".

The story is set in an alternate universe, where many of the signature heroes enlist your character's help to fight a new threat (i.e. a custom group I designed) known as "The Galactic Protectorate".

You can see the Arc names and ID numbers in my signature, and for those interested, I highly suggest running the arcs in numerical order, since the story does follow a linear plot.

Any writtern reviews and/or critiques of my arcs are always welcome, so feel free to post your thoughts here

Hey, just wanted to pop in and announce that I've finished updating " The Galactic Protectorate - 03 ", so now all my arcs are ready for review.

Feel free to review parts 2 and 3 of my story whenever you're ready, MrCaptainMan

[ QUOTE ]
As a quick aside I think it was always explained that WW wore all the "American patriotic imagery" out of respect for the US flag colors Steve Trevor wore when they found him on Paradise Island. Obviously it also played into the whole "wholesome American hero" thing for kids reading the comic too.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm... not sure the whole "she loses her powers when her hands are bound by a man" weakness she had when she was first introduced counts as a "wholesome" image...

Alright, I've finished most of the updating for my existing Arcs, save for some bugs that I have no control over

However, " The Galactic Protectorate - 02 " is ready to go whenever you want to review it, MrCaptainMan

I'll make another post in this thread when I've finished updating " The Galactic Protectorate - 03 "

I don't think a post has been made on this yet (though I'm sure someone's mentioned it here on the forums), but one of the new features in I15 seems to be footsteps SFX

That's right, we now have a whole bunch of new SFX that occur based on what type of floor is beneath our feet! I'm not sure how many different types were added, but it's small things like this that really bring some extra life to this game

[ QUOTE ]
At some stage I will also be running the following:

The Galactic Protectorate Parts 2 and 3


[/ QUOTE ]

Just to let you know, when the new Issue hits the servers I'll probably be editing all of my published Arcs. I'm fine with you reviewing them before then, but when the next Issue is released I'm going to ask that you wait unti I'm done updating my Arcs (I'll make a post in this thread when I'm finished) before you play them.

I'm looking forward to what you think of the 2nd and 3rd parts of my story, whenever you get around to it!

Thanks for the stream-of-consciousness review, MrCaptainMan! I'm glad you enjoyed the first part of my Arc, for the most part

I appreciate the fact that you'll be rating the first 3 Arcs of my story as one large Story Arc I'll be looking forward to what you think of the next parts!

However, I'm not really a fan of catgirls, so if you're expecting some "nyuu" custom catgirls in the following Arcs, you're going to be disappointed

I'd appreciate it if you could review my Arc, " The Galactic Protectorate - 01 ", before the next Issue hits the servers. It's listed in my signature, but the Arc ID# is 47143 .

It's 3 missions long, and you should be able to solo it so long as your difficulty level isn't set to high and you're careful about only pulling 1 mob at a time, but... bring some inspirations just in case

Nice to see you back, BB. I know from experience how the demands of real life can affect in-game projects, so no apology is really needed.

The Arc I requested you to review is in my signature, "The Galactic Protectorate - 01". I look forward to your review

I'm actually working on a (admittedly long) fanfic that focuses on the custom group that appears in my MA Arcs.

Between writing the fanfic, working on the custom group, creating the Arcs themselves, and promoting the Arcs, I hardly have enough free time to play the actual game

[ QUOTE ]
This number leads to an arc called: here fido

Your arc is actually number #174352, Mirror. You might want to correct that if you are posting it everywhere.

[/ QUOTE ]

Whoops! Thanks for pointing that out, Beach_Lifeguard

[ QUOTE ]
would seriously consider editing down the video after you're done to remove the filler. You happened to quit on the first mission here, but think about how long this would have been if you'd played all the missions in a 5 mission arc. A review, I feel, should give a short summary of how you feel about a piece. 6 - 7 minutes tops. You wouldn't call MST3K a movie review show, right?

[/ QUOTE ]

While I agree that editing out the "empty space" in an Arc is a good idea, 6-7 minutes for an entire Arc seems a bit too short

I'd say, start with about 5 minutes each mission. If it's a simple, straightforward mission that doesn't need alot of commentary, you can cut it down to to 1-3 minutes. If it's a complex, engrossing mission, you can bump it up to 7-9 minutes.

Of course, Stomphoof has the final say on this

Like I promised, here's my review of "Return of the Three Fold King"!

Character Used: Level 49 Dual Blades / Willpower Scrapper

-----

Mission 1:

So, as Stomphoof stated in the description, the contact for this Arc is professor John Cramer. The mission intro states that I'm answering an ad he put in the paper for help retrieving an artifact from the CoT. Since he's not a hero, he can't get it himself, and needs some heroic help. Off I go.

Enter the mission, go a couple steps into the caves, and... am met with a custom group. I had been expecting CoT from the mission intro, but I'm a sucker for well-done custom groups, so it's a nice surprise for me. Looking over the custom mobs, I notice that Stomphoof's method of designing enemies isn't that far from mine. Not that this custom group looks like anything I've designed, but rather in the fact that there's an obvious hierarchy and overall costume design with the Lemurians, which I appreciated. You wouldn't BELIEVE how many custom groups I've come across who look like a rag-tag pick-up group you'd find in the Hollows. Anyway, I make my way through the map, defeat the boss, and mission complete. I also find a clue, which turns out to be the Lemurian artifact I had been sent to find in the first place.

Mission 2:

So, it turns out Professor John Cramer has been less than honest with me. He needs help not to find ancient relics, but rather stop an invasion from an ancient evil known as the Lemurians. He'd do it himself, but his powers stem from Lemurian magiks, so he can't do squat against them. In order to stop the Three Fold King, the leader of the Lemurians, I need to find 3 more artifacts so he can break the shield guarding their main hideout. The author did a good job of setting up the rest of the Arc in this dialog, though by now I'm beginning to notice more than just a few typos in his text. The next artifact is in the hands of the Tuatha, so I'm to get it back from them in Salamanca.

I expect a Salamancan map, but instead the map is a regular forest. I'm not sure if the author has a reason for this, but since it's not entirely out of place for the Tuatha, I don't hold it against the final score. I look around, and find some wandering mobs. Yay for patrols! Buth then I realize... all these patrols are saying the same thing. Boo for patrols with identical dialog! I finally come across the scout leader, a lieutenant. This is actually the first time I've come across a "Defeat Boss" objective in an AE Arc where the "boss" was actually a "lieutenant", so it's a nice change of pace. Defeating the scout leader, the Lemurians are replaced by Tuatha. Fortunately, I'm able to find the 2nd artifact very quickly, and complete the mission.

Mission 3:

So, the Lemurians don't like Professor Cramer and his client ruining their plans, and have launched a small offensive against the Legacy Chain. The Professor tells me that I have to save some captive Legacy Chain mages, as well as find the 3rd artifact. Sounds agreeable.

I enter the office mission, and make my way through the map. One of the captives I rescue has a key, which opens a safe which contains the 3rd artifact. I rescue the remaining hostages, and complete the mission. Not much to say about this one.

Mission 4:

So, the Lemurians are hatching a plan to form a temporary alliance with Arachnos. Professor John Cramer is terrified of this idea, and sends me to a Ritki hideout which Arachnos has taken over to stop the merger.

I enter the mission, and am met (predictably) with Arachnos. Defeating the high-level Arachnos, I search for the negotiators from the Lemurians and from Arachnos, all the while checking various caches all around the mission for the last artifact. Finding it, I defeat the Lemurian boss, then the Arachnos boss, and complete the mission.

Mission 5:

So, with all the artifacts in our posession, it's time to defeat the Three Fold King. Professor Cramer uses the artifacts' power to destroy the shield protecting their main hideout, and sends me in to destory the King. He suggests taking a team with me. I don't.

Entering the mission, I find it's an Oranbega map. Makes sense, considering the nature of the Lemurians. Making my way across the map, I find the Three Fold King. Expecting an epic battle, I'm surprised to find he's not as hard as I thought he'd be. Maybe he's harder when he's an AV (I was on difficulty Level 2, so he was an EB). Either way, I complete the mission and finish the Arc.

Final Thoughts:

Overall, this was a solid Arc, with a well-designed custom group. There were spelling and grammar errors in many of the clues and mission intros/outros throughout the Arc that you might want to correct, but nothing TOO severe. While there were maps / enemies in the map that came as a "surprise" to the player, it was never anything that seemed out of place or inappropriate for the enemy or mission the player is sent on. All in all, this was a good effort by the author, and while not perfect, the Arc is a great playthrough from beginning to end.

Final Score: A well-deserved 5 Stars

[ QUOTE ]
Well then, who is willing to be my next Guinea Pig then eh?

[/ QUOTE ]

I know I'm not next on your queue, but I've taken harsh criticism before. It's up to you, but if you want to review my Arc next, I'd be more than willing to oblige.

The nice thing about Video Reviews is, I can see exactly how you came to the final score you did

[ QUOTE ]
I am still leaning towards not bothering anymore because I dont want to offend people with my opinions.


[/ QUOTE ]

But... that's ALWAYS going to happen

Look, when critiquing ANYTHING, there is going to be a frank exchange of viewpoints between the person doing the review and the person being reviewed. Part of being a good critic is highlighting the "good" aspects of a piece of work (in this instance, the parts you liked about a person's Arc), but being brave enough to point out the "bad" aspects of a piece of work (in this instance, the parts you DIDN'T like about a person's Arc). You shouldn't worry about offending people with your opinions; that's part of the critiquing process. It helps the reviewer become a better critic, and it helps the reviewee improve their work.

I think TV Tropes said it best when it comes to this issue.

It's up to you, like I said before, but at least try to give it a few more shots before quitting the whole thing. Your next review might go alot better

OK, I'm sensing alot of frustration and anger on both sides here, but Stomphoof, alot of people like the idea of video reviews. Right now, you're offering something unique, something that no one else is offering right now. I'd hate to see that go just because of 1 bad experience

Now, Mandu, I also understand why you're upset. Any reviewer (including myself) doesn't like to see their Arc, which they've probably spent alot of time and effort into making, be quit on the first mission and given a low rating. It's happened to a couple of my Arc, and I know how that feels, but don't take it all out on Stomphoof. He could have looked over the last room, decided the glowie wasn't there, and quit the Arc right there. Instead, he went back through the entire ship to find your objective, so I can understand him quitting out of frustration

However, instead of killing this entire thing off, how about this: a new standard of reviewing.

Now, Stomphoof, I know it's your Thread, your Reviews, and you have the final decision on this, but hear me out: Instead of quitting your Video Reviews, how about implementing a "2-Strike Rule"?

Let's say you have an Arc like the one you just did. You can't find a required mission objective. Rather than quit and rate it low because you couldn't complete it, put the "2 Strike Rule" into effect. Quit the Arc, then restart it. The AE System isn't perfect, and sometimes the required mission objectives are simply placed in difficult to find locations. Run through the first mission again, and if you still can't find the required objectives, THEN quit. But rather than give the Arc a low score, send a private message to the author and explain what happened. Move the author's Arc to the bottom of your current list, giving him/her time to run through their own Arc to see if there's anything they can do to fix the hard-to-find objective.

Now, the "2 Strike Rule" would only appy to the 1st or 2nd missions (again, up to Stomphoof). I can understand, if you're in the last mission of a 5-mission Arc, that this rule could be annoying, having to run through the entire Arc again. However, if you've gotten that far in a 5 mission Arc, you've also seen alot of what the author's created, and while you won't be as informed as, say, someone who's completed the Arc, you at least have enough information to make a reasonably competent score.

I know both Mandu and Stomphoof are angry, but can't we all just get along?

[ QUOTE ]
You dont HAVE to play mine dude. Unless you want to.

[/ QUOTE ]

I know I don't HAVE to, but I like playing Arcs designed by other players. It's nice to see what kind of stories other people have come up with

Besides, I already said I'd play yours, and I'd hate to go back on my word

Argh, got swamped with more work than I thought today, so I barely had time to finish one of my own Arcs tonight

I'll make sure to review your Arc tomorrow, Stomphoof!

And after 3 weeks, the 3rd installment is complete

Arc Name: The Galactic Protectorate - 03

Arc ID#: 173452

Details: An alternate-reality Sister Psyche asks for your help to continue the fight against the Galactic Protectorate

Techncial Details: A little different once again, still no "Defeat All" missions, but a couple EBs and an AV at the end. It's very soloable - maybe TOO soloable, at least in my tests it seemed easier than the previous Arcs. Anyway, that's why I'd like some outside feedback, whenever you're ready

This really sounds incredible, Stomphoof, and I'd really be interested in seeing one of my Arcs reviewed IN STREAMING VIDEO!

-----

Arc Name: The Galactic Protectorate - -01

Arc ID#: 47143

Description: An alternate-reality Synapse needs your help to defeat a new enemy who threatens his world and may one day threaten yours. (Part 1 of a Multi-Arc Story)

Technical Details: The patch last week made my custom group easier, so it should be soloable provided you're using a solo-friendly character and don't have the difficulty turned up too high. There are no "Defeat Alls", there are no EBs or AVs, and the entire Arc is 3 missions long.

-----

Now, I'm off to review one of your Arcs in LIVE STREAMING TEXT!

I'll post it in your "You play mine I'll play Yours REVISED" Thread, just so I don't clutter this one up

EDIT: I'll have the Review up tomorrow night