The Galactic Protectorate - 01: #47143
3 stars.
Pros: good language, attention to detail, plenty of varied opponents (but see below).
Cons: First of all, the story doesn't grab my attention right away. It obscures and mystifies and expects me to do all the work to find out why I should care about this alternate dimension and the enemies who are conquering it. I don't expect everything to be handed to me on a plate but I think it needs something to grab me right from the start. I haven't played the other parts yet so I don't know how the entire story pans out, so I won't go into the plot. The first mission seemed completely unnecessary except possibly to set a mood and establish that this dimension has suffered a disastrous event. If it had been combined with the second mission and delivered the clues I found there, it would have made more sense. The second mission was also pointless, on its own - Synapse even says that it was almost a complete waste of time, except for a overheard comment about /another/ place where the real action of the arc waits.
Unfortunately, the third mission was bugged. After I saved the hostage, as soon as he reached the elevators the mission failed. I won't hold this against you but unless a fix comes out soon, perhaps you could turn the hostage into an ally. This also meant that I might have missed any clues I would have got from the other objective.
Now, for the custom enemies. They are TOO varied - too many different kinds and all of them have different names, power combos, etc. There's no distinctive theme to them except that they all are pretty girls with cute hairstyles. I know that they are supposed to be gathered from 12 different "armies" with different power specialisations, but I think you'd be better off if you used less variation.
Since your arc is already divided into 3 parts you could perhaps divide the custom enemies into three parts as well. Use soldiers from armies 1-4 in this arc, armies 5-8 in arc 2, and armies 9-12 in arc 3. Sometimes less is more. These enemies are so varied and different that it becomes meaningless to try to plan or strategize, and since they can show up in so many combinations it's unlikely that they will synergize well, which means that we don't /have/ to use strategy.
I'd go for more synergized combinations and less variation for a interesting fights. These enemies are going to show up a lot over three arcs so you will want them to be as fun as possible to fight.
Winner of Players' Choice Best Villainous Arc 2010: Fear and Loathing on Striga; ID #350522
[ QUOTE ]
The Galactic Protectorate - 01: #47143
3 stars.
Pros: good language, attention to detail, plenty of varied opponents (but see below).
Cons: First of all, the story doesn't grab my attention right away. It obscures and mystifies and expects me to do all the work to find out why I should care about this alternate dimension and the enemies who are conquering it. I don't expect everything to be handed to me on a plate but I think it needs something to grab me right from the start. I haven't played the other parts yet so I don't know how the entire story pans out, so I won't go into the plot. The first mission seemed completely unnecessary except possibly to set a mood and establish that this dimension has suffered a disastrous event. If it had been combined with the second mission and delivered the clues I found there, it would have made more sense. The second mission was also pointless, on its own - Synapse even says that it was almost a complete waste of time, except for a overheard comment about /another/ place where the real action of the arc waits.
Unfortunately, the third mission was bugged. After I saved the hostage, as soon as he reached the elevators the mission failed. I won't hold this against you but unless a fix comes out soon, perhaps you could turn the hostage into an ally. This also meant that I might have missed any clues I would have got from the other objective.
Now, for the custom enemies. They are TOO varied - too many different kinds and all of them have different names, power combos, etc. There's no distinctive theme to them except that they all are pretty girls with cute hairstyles. I know that they are supposed to be gathered from 12 different "armies" with different power specialisations, but I think you'd be better off if you used less variation.
Since your arc is already divided into 3 parts you could perhaps divide the custom enemies into three parts as well. Use soldiers from armies 1-4 in this arc, armies 5-8 in arc 2, and armies 9-12 in arc 3. Sometimes less is more. These enemies are so varied and different that it becomes meaningless to try to plan or strategize, and since they can show up in so many combinations it's unlikely that they will synergize well, which means that we don't /have/ to use strategy.
I'd go for more synergized combinations and less variation for a interesting fights. These enemies are going to show up a lot over three arcs so you will want them to be as fun as possible to fight.
[/ QUOTE ]
Thanks for the feeback, FredrikSvanberg! 
I changed the hostage in the last mission of the arc to an ally, so the bug should be fixed now. Thanks for letting me know about it! 
I'm a bit confused about how you think there's no "theme" to my custom group 
Of all the reviews I've gotten about my group, the one universal compliment seems to be how well-designed and thematic my custom group is, even if the reviewer didn't like anything else about my arc 
As for this custom group showing up over the course of 3 story arcs... that's not exactly true
Thanks again for the review! 
Supplemental Galactic Protectorate Fanfic
The Galactic Protectorate 01.
Still running this, I ran out of time before I had to leave for work. I finished the first mission. My thoughts thus far.
- This is not a neutral mission. It's very clearly heroic. Saving yourself from a danger that may threaten you in the future is not villainous. Even if it was, you wouldnt do it by rescuing civil servants that you have never met. It's a fine bit of Heroism, but not Neutrel as was advertised.
- I like the diverse custom enemies. I think they all hang together on theme, and are well fleshed out. This counts for a lot with me.
- However, you might want to cut back on the number of healers. I'm not made of endurance, and I cant target the healer first when there are 3 in every spawn.
- I get that nothing says "distopic alternate earth" like a ruined Atlas Park. It's not the most fun place to have to find 4 hostages though.
-Mega points for having the decency not to make me escort the hostages back to the nigh impossible to find entrance to this map though. That would have lead to a ragequit.
-Overall I think it's a good effort and solid theme, and I am curious to see how the rest of it plays out. More to follow as I get more time to play.
Paragon Unleashed, Unleash Yourself!
The Galactic Protectorate - 01, #47143, @Unknown Hero
Each of the trilogy has 3 missions, making them quite manageable. My overall opinion this time is at the end.
First thing I notice, the first arc is classified as "Final". I still hope that this feedback might have some use. Normally I vote based on potential, since authors typically use feedback to good effect. What should I do here?
Other-Synapse is still called Synapse. I wonder, since he's otherworldly, if there could be a very slight twist on his name.
That might immediately draw me into the context. Er-Synapse? Pronapse? Other-Synapse? *cough* Best I stop trying. You should also add a contact description in the Story Summary page, it'll show when you Ask about this contact.
Mission titles aren't used. Not required, but it tends to add structure to the arc (get a sense of where you are, how much book/movie remains).
So, I'm being asked to help by a contact manipulating the AE system. This is a common gambit now in the game, but that's okay, there's only so many ways to finish a chocolate jigsaw. And I'm off to liberate captives! On a big map...
Looks like I'm being introduced to a bunch of locals. Good. Hopefully they'll communicate the nature of this dimension.
Equator Engineer's description mentions planet Eden, is this Eden? I learn of a Lord Cosmic, with Generals. General Lucius commands 7th Division, not sure who commands Division 0. Perhaps Lord Cosmic himself? The enemies have about as much variety as the Rikti. For the consistency Erik seeks, you could break them into logical posse like the Rikti are (headman gunman with monkeys, comm officer with infantry, etc).
Star Slinger description: exerperience -> experience
Hydro Healer description: seperates -> separates
Nurse Perkins description: Reistance -> Resistance
Mayor Bruckenmeier description: Plaenetary -> Planetary
Despite meeting the resistance, who work with heroes, I have only one clue to show for the first mission, one I apparently found myself. Intriguing clue though!
The second mission, and Synapse changes "prisoners" into "hostages" - a little disconcerting. Sort of sounds the same, but if the contact is not unequivocal then it translates into doubt.
I'm off to steal and destroy. Stealth time!
So there's 12 Divisions (12 Generals) and Eden is the home planet. Hmm. Earth did something to incur this wrath. Have to find out what.
Nice description on Comet Commander.
Man, tough information gathering session that. Definitely not worth trying to run from the ambushes...
Mission 2 return: thougt -> thought
Awesome, third mission is timed.
Mission 3 send-off: giong -> going (typing fast, this is timed!)
M3 entry popup: wall -> walls
What exactly are the Galactic Protectorate's signature colors? Blue and white, like their uniforms?
Big ol' battle to free the captive! Nice description on my captive.
Found an Easter Egg that wasn't in my nav, nice. Dreadful way to win...
Aftermath Clue: agression -> aggression
Overall, in this first arc, I oriented, learned-and-contributed, then contributed. I like this other dimension, it's intriguing. I do wonder why the Protectorate soldiers are all female, it'd be nice to explain that. Otherwise, they seem to be a kind of wimpy choice (shouldn't they be in battle armor to the gills like some Rikti? Perhaps they're supposed to appease humans with their appearance?). The first arc is mostly self-contained, need to highlight the climax, and perhaps foreshadow that rescuing Manticore is the whole reason Synapse contacted you in the first place (by the beginning of mission 3 - chapter/mission titles might help?). But for sheer scale of endeavor, it's great! For quality dialog and evolving plot, I rate this a potential 5-stars.
Looking forward to the second arc. If you like, you can review one of the arcs in my sig. One is an origin story with small-scale goals (1144), the other is... complicated (190069). Play whatever you think you might actually like
Cheers, airhead
Arc: 379017: Outbroken See all your old friends in the Outbreak Tutorial sequel!
Arc: Coming Soon: The Incarnate Shadow Shard of Fire and Ice Mender Rednem needs you!
Massively.com opinion poll: Please Help Save CoH!
[ QUOTE ]
The Galactic Protectorate 01.
Still running this, I ran out of time before I had to leave for work. I finished the first mission. My thoughts thus far.
- This is not a neutral mission. It's very clearly heroic. Saving yourself from a danger that may threaten you in the future is not villainous. Even if it was, you wouldnt do it by rescuing civil servants that you have never met. It's a fine bit of Heroism, but not Neutrel as was advertised.
- I like the diverse custom enemies. I think they all hang together on theme, and are well fleshed out. This counts for a lot with me.
- However, you might want to cut back on the number of healers. I'm not made of endurance, and I cant target the healer first when there are 3 in every spawn.
- I get that nothing says "distopic alternate earth" like a ruined Atlas Park. It's not the most fun place to have to find 4 hostages though.
-Mega points for having the decency not to make me escort the hostages back to the nigh impossible to find entrance to this map though. That would have lead to a ragequit.
-Overall I think it's a good effort and solid theme, and I am curious to see how the rest of it plays out. More to follow as I get more time to play.
[/ QUOTE ]
Glad you like the arc so far, Blood_Spectre
Hope the rest of the arc doesn't disappoint you
Supplemental Galactic Protectorate Fanfic
[ QUOTE ]
The Galactic Protectorate - 01, #47143, @Unknown Hero
Each of the trilogy has 3 missions, making them quite manageable. My overall opinion this time is at the end.
First thing I notice, the first arc is classified as "Final". I still hope that this feedback might have some use. Normally I vote based on potential, since authors typically use feedback to good effect. What should I do here?
Other-Synapse is still called Synapse. I wonder, since he's otherworldly, if there could be a very slight twist on his name.
That might immediately draw me into the context. Er-Synapse? Pronapse? Other-Synapse? *cough* Best I stop trying. You should also add a contact description in the Story Summary page, it'll show when you Ask about this contact.
Mission titles aren't used. Not required, but it tends to add structure to the arc (get a sense of where you are, how much book/movie remains).
So, I'm being asked to help by a contact manipulating the AE system. This is a common gambit now in the game, but that's okay, there's only so many ways to finish a chocolate jigsaw. And I'm off to liberate captives! On a big map...
Looks like I'm being introduced to a bunch of locals. Good. Hopefully they'll communicate the nature of this dimension.
Equator Engineer's description mentions planet Eden, is this Eden? I learn of a Lord Cosmic, with Generals. General Lucius commands 7th Division, not sure who commands Division 0. Perhaps Lord Cosmic himself? The enemies have about as much variety as the Rikti. For the consistency Erik seeks, you could break them into logical posse like the Rikti are (headman gunman with monkeys, comm officer with infantry, etc).
Star Slinger description: exerperience -> experience
Hydro Healer description: seperates -> separates
Nurse Perkins description: Reistance -> Resistance
Mayor Bruckenmeier description: Plaenetary -> Planetary
Despite meeting the resistance, who work with heroes, I have only one clue to show for the first mission, one I apparently found myself. Intriguing clue though!
The second mission, and Synapse changes "prisoners" into "hostages" - a little disconcerting. Sort of sounds the same, but if the contact is not unequivocal then it translates into doubt.
I'm off to steal and destroy. Stealth time!
So there's 12 Divisions (12 Generals) and Eden is the home planet. Hmm. Earth did something to incur this wrath. Have to find out what.
Nice description on Comet Commander.
Man, tough information gathering session that. Definitely not worth trying to run from the ambushes...
Mission 2 return: thougt -> thought
Awesome, third mission is timed.
Mission 3 send-off: giong -> going (typing fast, this is timed!)
M3 entry popup: wall -> walls
What exactly are the Galactic Protectorate's signature colors? Blue and white, like their uniforms?
Big ol' battle to free the captive! Nice description on my captive.
Found an Easter Egg that wasn't in my nav, nice. Dreadful way to win...
Aftermath Clue: agression -> aggression
Overall, in this first arc, I oriented, learned-and-contributed, then contributed. I like this other dimension, it's intriguing. I do wonder why the Protectorate soldiers are all female, it'd be nice to explain that. Otherwise, they seem to be a kind of wimpy choice (shouldn't they be in battle armor to the gills like some Rikti? Perhaps they're supposed to appease humans with their appearance?). The first arc is mostly self-contained, need to highlight the climax, and perhaps foreshadow that rescuing Manticore is the whole reason Synapse contacted you in the first place (by the beginning of mission 3 - chapter/mission titles might help?). But for sheer scale of endeavor, it's great! For quality dialog and evolving plot, I rate this a potential 5-stars.
Looking forward to the second arc. If you like, you can review one of the arcs in my sig. One is an origin story with small-scale goals (1144), the other is... complicated (190069). Play whatever you think you might actually like
Cheers, airhead
[/ QUOTE ]
Thanks for the feedback, airhead! Glad to hear you really enjoyed my arc
I'll run and review one of your arcs either tonight or tomorrow and post the review in my review thread
Supplemental Galactic Protectorate Fanfic
Final Analysis: 4 stars.
I liked it. The final mission really would benefit from having the timer removed though.
Finding a hidden glowie and rescuing a hostage on a multi layer Arachnos map full of healers can be time consuming. With the timer in place, I didn't get to fully enjoy reading the clues, which are a big part of what makes this arc enjoyable.
Remove the timer, and I could justify a 5th star. But even with the timer in place I liked it. Lots of cool custom enemies, very immersive storytelling.
Paragon Unleashed, Unleash Yourself!
[ QUOTE ]
I liked it. The final mission really would benefit from having the timer removed though.
Finding a hidden glowie and rescuing a hostage on a multi layer Arachnos map full of healers can be time consuming. With the timer in place, I didn't get to fully enjoy reading the clues, which are a big part of what makes this arc enjoyable.
[/ QUOTE ]
Done. To be honest, I've been contemplating removing the timer from the last mission of the first arc for some time now; considering the fact that NONE of the missions in my other arcs have timers, and that the next arc assumes that the player successfully rescued Manticore, the timer really doesn't add anything to the mission. I was originally trying to create a sense of urgency for the last mission, hence the 30-minute time limit, but... eh. There's just not enough to justify the timer's existence in the last mission.
But thanks for the review, Blood_Spectre! I'm glad you liked my first arc. I'll be reviewing your arc in my review thread either tonight or tomorrow, and I hope I enjoy your arc as much as you enjoyed mine.
Supplemental Galactic Protectorate Fanfic
Just letting everyone know that I've updated my existing arcs according to some of the feedback I've gotten in this thread, as well as some things I wanted to add/remove myself. Hope you like the changes!
Supplemental Galactic Protectorate Fanfic
The Galactic Protectorate - 02, #117821, @Unknown Hero
Back again, to revisit the other dimension where human-looking aliens from "Eden" have invaded other-Earth!
Again, the arc is very well written. The premise is pretty straightforward, alien invasion, yet the writing is so clear and interesting, particularly the Phalanx personalities, that it's well worth playing through. The customs get a little repetitive - perhaps hold some back for later missions, so there's always surprises? The escalating challenges are good. I learned some interesting stuff in the first mission with the optional history, but I didn't find similar things later on, while I did in the first arc (the status of Positron). The aliens still don't have a particularly alien nature to them, they seem like humans. There's no indication they came from space - I'm inclined to think they're just another bunch of Earthers from another dimension, posing as galactics. Highlights included outgunning Synapse and Manticore, the care and detail that went into all the custom descriptions, and the last 3 words of the arc.
On-the-run details are below. You're welcome to review one of my arcs - even the same one, if you like. It'd probably take 10 minutes since you know most of it... but Mindy's last words are key to understanding that mess; the second mission has one line of dialog changed to indicate why Captain D. is not as smart in the caves; and the third mission has loads of tweaks to try to improve momentum and "light comedy". If you did choose to redo that, instead of "The Amazing Rat Race" which is much longer, then I'd appreciate if you might come up with just one G.F. email that's funnier than my new ones
6:51pm: Collect arc.
M1 intro: and a hidden -> or a hidden
Nice writing of Manticore.
6:63pm: Enter mission 1.
Custom: Blackstar Beserker -> Blackstar Berserker (and also in its description)
Okay, so all indications are that the general already left. Still, better be sure... or find where she went.
Mmm. This time I've encountered Division 12 (Starlight Sorcerer). However, if there's 12 Generals, and there's a Division 0 (from the last arc) then how to get to 12? Perhaps Division 0 is Lord Cosmic's personal retinue. But I don't know for sure.
Ooh, all the optional history clickies are in the same room, nice.
And then I mapserve. Time to start over.
7:04pm: Enter mission 1.
Interesting... the Meteor Mage is definitely not female. Perhaps others too. Different to Division 0.
Strange that a Cosmic Crusader - someone apparently from a galactic union of people, should choose a name and costume reminiscent of a group from Earth.
And the optional computers are all in the same room again, nice.
Astral Archer: regulary -> regularly
The quality of the enemy descriptions puts pressure on me to enhance the descriptions on my own toons! Lots of thought and creativity went into these. The final room looks like my arc's final room, and the Berserker there looks like Captain Slippery... sorry, was distracted
Base Commander's dialog: same design as our leader, -> same design as our leader's,
Checked my Clues. Ooh, so the Protectorate is in place to prevent galactic war. So somehow, Earth is threatening to cause one! It could be any of a number of our inventions I guess, from Ouroboros to Portal Corp.
Seems I forgot to destroy a Mainframe. Seems I got lucky finding the first objectives, still a map or two to go. And done.
7:21pm: Return to contact.
More well-written mission dialog. And we're off to rescue Synapse!
7:23pm: Enter mission 2.
M2 entry pop-up: it's -> its
Collecting, clobbering... Synapse seems like he'd be a bit powerful for a sidekick, but when I leave him alone with Col. Grandal he gets his butt kicked! Nice to feel so useful, as I save him at the last moment.
Col. Grandal: Sorcers -> Sorcerers
Synapse also does spectacularly poorly against Colonel Armalad.
7:39pm: Return to contact.
M3 intro: alot -> a lot
M3 send-off: Reistance -> Resistance
7:43pm: Enter mission 3.
So we're off to rescue Sister Psyche, with Manticore's help! It's an outdoors map, so I'll bounce around to find my goals.
Ooh, the General is an EB (I'm level 1 difficulty), should be more interesting.
After much running around (and the demise of Manticore... I guess I shouldn't have lost Sister Psyche) I defeat the General. Unfortunately, I have to defeat her group as well, goodness knows which of many those are (perhaps make her boss-only-to-complete). So I guess I have to clear.
And just in time! As my graphics is crashing.
7:52pm: Return to contact.
And, darn, my graphics did crash before I saw the return message. I hope it's there when I restart. Yay!
And WOW. I am so glad I saw it! That is one of the coolest finale messages I've seen.
M3 return: signifigant -> significant
Souvenir: period on the end of the fourth paragraph.
Arc: 379017: Outbroken See all your old friends in the Outbreak Tutorial sequel!
Arc: Coming Soon: The Incarnate Shadow Shard of Fire and Ice Mender Rednem needs you!
Massively.com opinion poll: Please Help Save CoH!
Thanks for the great review, airhead!
I was going to review your other arc, but if you want me to re-reun your Captain Dynamic arc, I'll do that. Just let me know in my review thread or via PM which one you'd like me to do, and I'll run it.
Supplemental Galactic Protectorate Fanfic
Thanks to airhead, I've corrected most of the spelling/grammar mistakes in my 2nd arc, so thanks again, airhead!
Supplemental Galactic Protectorate Fanfic
Okay so I've run the first part of (Arc ID #47193 - The Galactic Protectorate - 01). So now for some feedback for you (also sent it to you in game).
This was a fun arc, I enjoyed it. I ran it on my Claws/SR Scrapper (lvl 48, on Unyielding), who is basically at the soft cap for defense.
The custom characters descriptions were great. Each one told me a lot about the specific character, and some insight into there powers, so I could pick my target order. The looks of them was okay, not the best I've seen, but not bad in general, the theme made sense.
My biggest gripe overall was that too many of the custom chars seemed to have healing powers (from Pain Dom's heals, O2 Boost, etc). So I'd get groups with like 3-4 healing types in it at times. Which, along with the Psi attacks and the hurricane debuffs made things... well interesting at times.
The map choices were good, they fit the story, and tied in well overall. The story was intriguing, and makes me want to head off and run the 2nd arc to see if it carries forward as well as the first. So I've added them to my list to run.
Good work. On my scale its a 4-5 star arc (didn't run into anything that really subtracted from the 5 star start, other then the too many custom char healers).
Take Care,
BinkDeBook
Virtue: CaptainMayhem-50 Inv/SS Tank; NaomiArmitage-50 DM/Inv Scrap; Captn Randomizer-50 MC/Kin Cntrller; Murky Thecat-50 Claws/SR Scrap; Professor Junk-50 Bots/Traps MM; +Others Arc Id #77311, #227436
Thanks for the review, BinkDeBook, glad to hear you'll be running my other arcs in the future
I'll run your arc sometime tomorrow, since I don't have time tonight. I'm looking forward to it
Supplemental Galactic Protectorate Fanfic
[ QUOTE ]
Thanks for the review, BinkDeBook, glad to hear you'll be running my other arcs in the future
I'll run your arc sometime tomorrow, since I don't have time tonight. I'm looking forward to it
[/ QUOTE ]
Glad to help and looking forward to some feedback. When I run a second part I'll ask you to run my 2nd existing arc (a short humor focused one - Halloween Night)
Take Care,
BinkDeBook
Virtue: CaptainMayhem-50 Inv/SS Tank; NaomiArmitage-50 DM/Inv Scrap; Captn Randomizer-50 MC/Kin Cntrller; Murky Thecat-50 Claws/SR Scrap; Professor Junk-50 Bots/Traps MM; +Others Arc Id #77311, #227436
I played The Galactic Protectorate 01
I gave the arc 4 stars. I really enjoyed it.
The main thing I would definately change is to add mission titles. It is clear that you put a lot of effort in to details and I think mission titles make the arc seem more polished. You owe that polished look to this arc.
In the first mission I was a bit confused as to what was going on but maybe that was by intent.
I LOVED your custom villians complete with bios. Great job!
This arc was full of details such as nice clues. It is obvious you put lots of effort in it and I am really glad I played it
@Gypsy Rose
In Pursuit of Liberty - 344916
The Vigilante - 395861
Suppression - 374481 - Winner of The American Legion's February 2011 AE Author Contest
Just wanted to announce that I've made some more updates to my arcs based on the feedback I've gotten in this thread and the bug fixes in today's patch, so (as always) feedback is always appreicated.
Supplemental Galactic Protectorate Fanfic
The Galactic Protectorate - 03 --> 174352, @Unknown Hero
Glutton for punishment, off to the other dimension where human-looking aliens from "Eden" have invaded other-Earth! At least some of the people there really like me.
This one, like the others, is classified as Challenging, so I'm on Level 1 difficulty. While all 3 arcs are "Save the World", I think this is the first arc where I might. I'd personally use the "Sci-Fi" flag instead of "Custom Characters" since the latter is awfully common. The arc description says it's due for an update in 4 days, but I just don't know if the World can wait. Or maybe that means there'll be a Part 04. I hope not. I want to Save the World!
M1 intro: Alot's -> A lot's
Hmm. The title of the Resistance suggests I'm not Free yet
M1 send-off: suggest 'siege two smaller bases' could be 'lay siege to two smaller bases' or 'besiege two smaller bases'
M1 entry pop-up: paraphenalia -> paraphernalia
Meteorstorm Medic: civilzation -> civilization ; sufferred -> suffered
So this time it's Division 11 of the Galactic Protectorate invasion army.
OH DEAR. I blew up a mainframe, which will likely lead to the death of people (and I was warned in dialog)! A clue reminds me of this. I just forfeited my hero badge. Unfortunately, I don't think MA mechanics can punish me enough for this 
What a horrid destructible!
Releasing Dr. Kismadyte scored me an ambush. That's never happened in this trilogy before. And she's not keen to be rescued. But she's following me. I guess I must have convinced her not to sympathize with the aliens who provided medical assistance to her brother [uh, why is she following me?]
Okay, one of the minions described a General Sahara, and Eclipse Engineer mentioned a Colonel Gobi (they're all still dressed in blue and white though, and all look like regular people in hero costumes). I guess that lines up my significant targets for this arc. Hopefully we'll break with pattern to create some twist and surprise.
The Stardust Specialists and Cosmic Commandos sound like a Tupperware party in uniforms. All chumming about and promoting.
So I beat the base commander. He comments on the nature of my assault - on a hospital - and I am concerned this is going the wrong way. Incidentally, I restarted this mission, and second time through I definitely did not destroy the mainframe.
I am worried this arc might turn into a "ha ha, fooled you, you're the bad guy" - that would seriously suck. The nurses I "saved" certainly think that.
Mission 2 entry pop-up: Psyhce's -> Psyche's
Manticore's guard dialog: resisance -> resistance
Col. Gobi's description is quite personable. More evidence I'm on the wrong side? Likewise Mojave. Not much challenge in these guys.
Mission 3 send-off: straright -> straight ; th is -> this
So... why am I not questioning the situation with my contact? Perhaps I'll get a chance to switch sides when I get to the general.
The General had a lot of ambushes. All came too late. They seemed to sit back and do little. Hanging around and taking on the mass ambush was fun though, working with Psyche. Sad if I'm on the wrong side.
The arc ends a bit ambiguous. It's like episodes of Battlestar Galactica, trying to guess who's good, who's bad, whether I'm doing the right thing... a distinct lack of closure here.
Cheers, airhead
Arc: 379017: Outbroken See all your old friends in the Outbreak Tutorial sequel!
Arc: Coming Soon: The Incarnate Shadow Shard of Fire and Ice Mender Rednem needs you!
Massively.com opinion poll: Please Help Save CoH!
Thanks for the review, airhead! It's nice to get some feedback on "The Galactic Protectorate - 03", since it's the arc that has the least amount of reviews and, as such, is desperately in need of some critiquing
As for the overall feel of the arc... that was actually my intent. The fact that all the GP arcs are labeled "Neutral" rather than "Heroic" or "Villainous" wasn't an oversight on my part.
One of my goals with "The Galactic Protectorate" storyline was to deviate from the standard "Good VS Evil" or "Black & White" type storylines you usually find. Most importantly, I wanted to give each division of the Galactic Protectorate it's own identity (that still fell in line with the overall theme of the organization), rather than have them be some "evil organization filled with generic mooks" like many of the other non-AE enemy groups are. That's the reason I put some much effort into the designs and descriptions of each NPC, and try to make their backstory so detailed.
At the end of "The Galactic Protectorate - 02", I wanted the arc to end on a very high note. At the end of "The Galactic Protectorate - 03", I wanted the arc to end on more of a downer, to balance out the storyline. I hope you still enjoyed the story, even if you didn't like the "ambiguous" nature of the arc.
And, yes... the "update" referred to in the arc's description is indeed "The Galactic Protectorate - 04", which I'm hoping to have published this Saturday, si long as nothing comes up in RL to disrupt the due date
Supplemental Galactic Protectorate Fanfic
The Galactic Protectorate - 02, #11728
This arch is full of details and really well written.
The contact dialog is especially good.
I loved the custom villians and their detailed bios. I especially loved the BlackStar Berserker bio. I also liked the optional history in mission 1.
The only negative comment I have, is that I got very frustrated finding the glowies in mission 1 (but then again I am probably the worst glowie finder in all COH). Naturally, I found the optional ones with ease, but the last required one took me forever.
Mission 2 went much better for me and I really enjoyed it.
On mission 3, I lost Sister Pysche and died fighting the EB. I was on a level 20 or so Illusion/Emp. Luckily a friend was on and he joined me and together we were successful.
Overall I loved the arc. Total enjoyment was only hampered by glowie frustration in mission 1. You are an excellent writer.
@Gypsy Rose
In Pursuit of Liberty - 344916
The Vigilante - 395861
Suppression - 374481 - Winner of The American Legion's February 2011 AE Author Contest
Hi Mirror Man,
I guess then my play experience was an intended. It would have helped to know there's another part, I tried to guess that at the beginning, but come Saturday that'll be clearer. Changing the behaviour/attitudes instead of changing the structure did provide the necessary variety to keep me interested, and I will play part 04 someday.
If someone has played through part 2, and plays part 3, I'm sure the approach you've taken won't dissuade them from playing part 4.
(if you want to review one of mine again, try 190069, perhaps at < level 30 if you tried it high before. Let me know if the intersecting plots are clearer now, and check the souvenir).
Cheers, airhead
Arc: 379017: Outbroken See all your old friends in the Outbreak Tutorial sequel!
Arc: Coming Soon: The Incarnate Shadow Shard of Fire and Ice Mender Rednem needs you!
Massively.com opinion poll: Please Help Save CoH!
So, after applying all the final touches (which took ALOT longer than I thought it would), "The Galactic Protectorate - 04" is finally published live on the AE servers
For those of you who enjoyed the previous 3 arcs, I hope you enjoy the latest installment, as well!
Supplemental Galactic Protectorate Fanfic
YAY! I'll try to get this in tonight and probably send you feedback in-game.
I'm just a holy fool, oh baby it's so cruel
Thessalia, by Darkchildx2k
So, after thinking about it for a long time, I've decided to make a thread for people who want to play and review the arcs in my ongoing story, "The Galactic Protectorate".
The story is set in an alternate universe, where many of the signature heroes enlist your character's help to fight a new threat (i.e. a custom group I designed) known as "The Galactic Protectorate".
You can see the Arc names and ID numbers in my signature, and for those interested, I highly suggest running the arcs in numerical order, since the story does follow a linear plot.
Any writtern reviews and/or critiques of my arcs are always welcome, so feel free to post your thoughts here
Supplemental Galactic Protectorate Fanfic