Mekkanos

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Review for story arc: Soldiers of Fortune
Creator: @Mekkanos

Well, my first Villainous review of the thread. I must say I’m really excited since it’s a little hard for many people out there to write good evil material.

Ok as far as the mission description goes, fairly well done.
No other pre mission comments, so let’s get this show on road.

Mission 1 : Ok, Darrin Wade, I presume he’s going to send me around on some errands fetching some stuff. And… I wasn’t wrong actually.
Well, I have got to go take a couple of art pieces for him before they get into the museum’ well protected halls.

Ok as far as the Mission Intro and Send Off go, really nicely done, a little too much dialogue for me. Or maybe it is enough, just too packed together.

Unfortunately the Still busy dialogue here doesn’t gets exploited and there’s plenty of opportunities for that, like Darren elaborating on the other goodies I might expect to find.

Presuming I’m in a just-what-you-need-to-know basis, I head into the mission to fetch whatever might have caught his eye. I mean he has done so already in the past, when he just sent me inside the main base of a supergroup with some deadly statues that killed me in a blink. Well, who knows, maybe this time will be different…

But no it wasn’t apparently I just popped in the mission just in time to frustrate my “new-found” mercenary competition.
I must say great descriptions on the customs, nice group name. My only complain with them is that the powers that they use are so… cliché in some way. I enjoyed the boss Hellraiser type and the Technician ones.

My other complaint is regarding the mission clues. You could have added a little more flavor to this mission if you had a different clue appear on each glowie. I mean, give a little more side-reading to the player about what he’s fetching, and maybe add some dialogue like: “this looks pretty expensive, you guess Darren won’t notice that you kept some, in compensation for you “hard work”. Again, you are the author, but having 5 glowies with one clue that you actually get from the First display case, is a little boring.

Moving on, great dialogues and great ambush selection with the Sky Raiders. In my case the Porters started to spawn right behind me like immediately after I brought down the Hellraiser Sykes, giving an intense feeling of action and surprise.

Mission 2 : The dialogue here is strong, and it makes perfect sense, without any other addition to make, I head into the mission.

Well, one problem here is that Darren said this was going to be a one side battle because of the sheer number of the Raiders in proportion to the Paradigm group, but having only one group of paradigm (the boss group) is kind of ridiculous, is not a battle at all (iit's a massacre!). Maybe you did add some battle Paradigm/Raiders, and I just didn’t see them.
But you could have included a couple of conversations on the battles to make the mission more interesting.

As advised by my contact, I tried to stay out of the battles (which where almost non existent, not including the PPD patrols sometimes walking into the Sky Raiders), and went Boss hunting.

The first boss (the paradigm one) was located in a nice spot, middle of the screen, fairly easy to see. Fought him and defeated him. Nice battle although it was kind of let down that there wasn’t any clue afterwards. Now, only the Sky Raider Leader stands between me and the Eye of Chronos. Problem is… It was incredible difficult to find! I don’t know what are the specifications that you are using for your map spawns, but since I’m used to the bosses being at the end of the map, that’s where I headed first…

To my surprise, the guy actually spawned behind one of the first buildings near the beginning of the screen, I felt really stupid for missing him in the first place, but maybe consider that your average player will not scout the complete map when he/she is used seeing the bosses at the end of the screen in maps like this one.

Well, after defeating the Sky Raider guy, I find that they have already extracted the Eye from the site and transport it to a secure location. I got his clue and [u]interesting[u] enough, I got the clue I was supposed to get from the Paradigm guy I defeated like 5 minutes ago… Maybe you did it in this order because the mission complete clue allows more characters than the boss defeated clue, but you should take into consideration that sometimes players (like myself) will find odd the clue lag when they defeat the Paradigm guy first.

Also, for a technological advanced mercenary such as a Sky raider, finding a “note” on him makes me feel like a found a piece of paper on him Maybe, you could change this to a little more sophisticated alternative. Like a “captain’s log” or even like an iPhone or something like that.

Mission 3 : The intro and Send off Dialogues suffer from the same strengths and weaknesses as the previous ones, great description and flow, but a little too bunched together for my taste. And for my eyes.
And interesting enough, the still busy is a clean, neat, concise one, and is one of the few that doesn’t bother me at all.

The summoning of creatures inside the mission is a nice touch.

Nice pop up mission dialogue.

Can’t say that the npc ally surprised me since I gathered from the first clue ever in this arc that the Rularuu were going to be involved in some way.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t like it, in fact I’m sure your average player will like it.

Also, good job on the dialogue of the Eyeballs.

Nice mission dialogue for the safes.

A little unexpected boss battle with a ***** (No spoilers) which was kind of unexpected following the first part of plot. You could have done that the guys surrounding the boss were carrying suitcases (as in if they were bringing the money in the suitcases) But that’s just a visual effect.

What a shame that there wasn’t a clue upon mission completion. You could have even made a clue saying like: “Seems like once again, you are a little late. You should better report back with Darren” Or something. I was kind of expecting something, especially since I thought this was it.

The contact’s words here couldn’t express any better my thoughts about being tired of chasing the groups around just for nothing. Considering the past in-game arcs that I have run with Darren, I would recommend you something to keep in-character and make this 3 missions a little more needed. You could have Darren only perform the magical localization spell up until now because he needed something you found in the base. For example, make that in mish 3 there is a Paradigm Boss/Sky Raider Base commander, that when you defeat you get a sample out of him or like a blood-stained (sample?) floppy disk, for example.

Since one of the components needed (if memory serves me well) is something that belonged to the person in question (like a handful of hair), to able to locate where the Eye might be right now. You know, give a good reason why he couldn’t cast that spell up until now.

Because otherwise I just ask myself, why the bloody hell didn’t he just cast this spell since mission 2 to begin with?

Mission 4 : Once again, you have got to be careful when introducing a deux ex machina element like a localization spell in your arc, it makes me wonder if I couldn’t just skip this whole mission if Darren could simply divine who’s the Paradigm client and where he/she is.
But for the sake of the story, I’m off to hack into a network.

The Dialogues (all three Intro-Send Off-Still busy) are really well done, and intriguing.

I find the map selection a little bit recurring, with different paint jobs between the Portal Corp one, and this one, but they have the exact same layout.
You might want to check if you can do something about this.

The summoned creatures’ dialogue was ok. One of them actually didn’t talk like Rularuu at all, but it’s ok.

The boss dialogue was really good, and it made me wonder, wouldn’t it had been easier to bribe the Paradigm guys off? But what good is that when you can hack your way toward your goal?

Also interesting final clue, very appropriate and builds a lot of expectation for the final mission.

Mission 5 : The motivation in the contact Dialogue for this mission was kind of a let down; it didn’t actually make me feel motivated to go get some artifact that I have already wasted a lot of time trying to get.
The promise of the artifacts’ power is tempting enough, but you’ve got to consider that since I’m a villain, my patience will be tested unless I’m offered a good reason why to do it. Vengeance? Power? Money?

I don’t know, he does explain further what the Eye of Chronos really is in the Send Off dialogue, but still I feel a little more motivation is required. Especially since I’m about to risk my hide out there in a mission that already hints me is going to be difficult

This map is a “must love it” type; it really makes you feel like you are infiltrating the main base of operations. I must say that the Arachnos commander dialogue took me completely by surprise, especially the last text. Which revealed a good chunk of the plot to me without having even finished the mission itself.

I would have changed the objective text in the navigational compass at the end after you defeat the Hellraiser Freeman, from “Investigate interlopers in the tunnel” to something more like “you have the Eye! Now escape the cavern” Since the mission wouldn’t complete until I did try to leave through the main door, I would encounter the EB, General White waiting for me, surprising me even more!

But that’s that. With the ****, defeated and the final clue explaining me the whole arc, I feel like I can go report to my crony, Darren, and finish up this complicated plot.
(Nice detail of the Rularuu helping you decode the final Clue)

I liked the AV design as well.

Well the mission is over and if we could edit and grant our own sets of temp powers, I would pretty much look forward to what you would set the Eye of Chronos to do.

Rank:**** An attention-grabbing arc, really interesting custom group and usage of the whole mercenary group against mercenary group ordeal.

No real final comments, except that I know you have been trying to get reviews on different threads for this arc before, and apparently you have been successful at it. It’s not Dev’s Choice or Hall of Fame material. I wouldn’t even say that is the best of your arcs, but is a remarkable one on its own.
I dare say that the Sky Raiders don't get plenty attention in the game, and that you used them as an important factor for you story really pikes my interest.

Some work on it would improve much the story and overall quality.

I liked the souvenir as well. And I must point out another thing... It was actually refreshing not finding any typos in an arc... Anywhere Good job!

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Thanks for running my second arc! I'm glad you mostly liked this one, but sadly, there's not much I can do to fix the majority of the problems you listed. My arc file size is at 99.97% at the moment (Thanks to the custom group) and a single sentence will put it over the edge. I was lucky to have a 5 mission arc with such a (relatively) diverse group and had to cut some dialogue to do so, particularly from the Still Busy dialogue as you noted.

I did, however, space out the briefings a bit and modified Darrin's dialogue in the final mission a bit to take into account the fact that you may not actually want to use the Eye. I also changed the coordinates note in Mission 2 to a small data pad and changed the animation of the client's group so they hold briefcases in Mission 3. I also made Mission 4's map quite different from Mission 3's, although it is still the same tileset as before.

I did want to address the locating spell, though. Darrin Wade, as you noted, requires something that belongs to the person in question in order to use the spell. The individuals who have the Eye escaped from you before you even saw them, so you wouldn't have anything of theirs. Not only that, but the Eye kept changing hands, so it would be rather pointless to continuously use the spell to track an individual person when that person will probably lose it. The spell only worked because we weren't necessarily tracking the Eye but rather the Paradigm base. We were using the note that the Paradigm boss from mission 2 dropped to get there. This was possible before but the Sky Raiders had the Eye at the time, so it would be pointless to go to the Paradigm base when they obviously don't have the Eye. You'd expect a Paradigm boss to have visited there at least once, so to use the notice he was carrying to get to the base at that point seems pretty logical (To me, anyway). As for why it can't be used to divine the clients, we don't have anything that belongs to them. Darrin Wade's magic is powerful but it is not godlike, after all (At least, not yet ).

Regarding the second mission, I'm actually surprised you didn't see any battles. I put 20 of them on the map, to the point where the entire place tends to devolve into absolute chaos pretty fast! Sometimes their spawns can be wonky but they should show up eventually. Also, I can't really choose where the bosses end up. That's an Architect failing, sadly, since the positions you can choose don't seem to apply to outdoor maps.

Also, about the Rularuu that didn't talk like Rularuu, some Brutes actually do talk like that on occasion. I distinctly remember some Brutes fighting for supremacy in the Shard and one saying "I strongest!" They don't always talk in one word sentences, after all.

Finally, regarding the final boss, there's a few reasons why I worded it the way I did. First of all, the final boss's friends spawn in the submarine room when you trigger him, so that should immediately tip off the player that something is up. The System message (Which, sadly, no one ever seems to be able to see due to all the action that's going on at the time) that shows up when you defeat the boss says that you can hear gunfire coming from the tunnel, so you go to investigate. However, another reason why I worded it like that is a meta-game reason. Currently, there is a bug where bosses that are triggered by another enemy sometimes fail to spawn and the boss here seems to fall victim to the bug disturbingly often. I wanted to make it clear that there was indeed an enemy appearing so people wouldn't wonder "Ok, so I'm back at the entrance. Why isn't the mission completing?"

I know it seems pointless to collect feedback if I can't really change much about the arc at the moment (Blitzkrieg is currently at 97 - 98%, so it's easier to change), but I'm holding out for custom critters to either take up less space or for the file size limitation to be raised. Until then, though, I can only note the feedback, change what little I can, and wait. Thanks for reviewing it, anyway!

EDIT: Edited to make the location spell thing a little more clear.

Also, I wanted to say that although I defended certain aspects of my arc in this post, your review was still immensely helpful. If we're ever allowed more room in our arcs, I'll definitely consider adding more of your suggestions!

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Review for story arc: Blitzkrieg
Creator: @Mekkanos

Ok first I need to say a couple of things, nice short and helpful description on the overall arc. I find it funny that people always use Crimson whenever someone mentions the Malta Group, but in this case is ok, makes it feel like you are actually playing an in-game mission arc.
Let’s start this show then.
Mission 1 : The dialogue is credible and concise to what you need to do and why. I would change in the Send Off Dialogue window “someplace” for maybe “someone that can actually provide some answers”. But is up to you, the author, to either change this or not.

The mission felt pretty cool actually, the enemy dialogues were clever and very “in-character” for the Malta Group. There’s only one typo, you used to many … in the defeated text of the boss Bishop.
It should be” This isn’t over, fool. No, it’s only the… beginning.”
Also the clue was really intriguing and let me wanting to know more about the arc.

Mission 2 : Good Intro and Send Off Dialogue, it all feels like something the real Crimson would tell you and the little I can gather of the plot reminds me of the Top Cow series with Apex, War Witch & Horus. Let see how it fares.

In the mish, when I saw my character had entered an Arachnos base I was thinking “How cool would it be that the enemy group here were the Rogue instead of the regular ones?”, so you can imagine my surprise when I saw that the enemy group was them. I find it very refreshing seeing that it has actually maintained the story-line of the game’s canon material. The Zeus Class titans are interesting bosses, always fun and hard to battle, but, in this case there seems to be an error with their settings, since they ask for reinforcements when badly wounded, but only one ambush ever responded to the call for only the first of the Zeus Titans, the rest kept asking for them (reinforcements) but none ever came. You can solve this by breaking them into separate Fight a Boss objective, giving them their own ambush spawn.

Again, in the boss final words after being defeated, you over-used the “…..” Three are enough.
Nice clues, I especially liked the Marshal Blitz message.

Mission 3 : Good Intro and send Off Dialogues yet again, I dare say that your narrative skills improve by leaps the more I get involve in this plot. I feel the excitement pre-battle bubbling up inside me already. I want to know more about the arc itself as I’m playing and that is always a great sign. Also great lore use with the name of the arc, I had actually forgotten it was the name of a lightning strike operation made in WW2.

Again with the excessive “…….”, this time I found them on the Burning Ronin dialogue. Not to get extremely anal with this minor typo, but the correct form is to use only three consecutive dots.
By the way, great Boss selection.

Also nicely done mish intro pop up, very enlightening, especially for those not familiar with the Zig map.

Also good use of the “Destined Ones” raids as a reference. I honestly can see this arc as part of the canon of the game lore.

Mission 4 : As I stated before, the narration just keeps getting better and better, this time the mission briefing actually gave me some useful Intel regarding some of the barrels I need to dispose off. The only thing is that if I were a radioactive character there could be some difficulties to adapt the process that explains that the material only explodes with radioactive energies, then where would it leave me?. But I won’t delve too much into that. I like the story so far… So much, in fact, that the time here is 2 am and I’m still wide awake in attention of what’s going to happen next.

The only little detail that didn’t convince me entirely was the Black Empress suit. It looked more like a chaotic mess of a police officer with a Gunslinger, bearing the Malta colors. Perhaps you could invest some more time designing her suit better. Her info display was ok. Like how all the Malta bosses so far are named after chess pieces.

As something you might want to consider, the entrance of this map mish is an Arachnos Flyer, since you already got the whole Rogue Arachnos/Malta deal going on, you could state at some point that you approached the Malta Base in a stolen Rogue Arachnos Flyer in order to avoid raising the alarm. Or something. You know, use the game tools in your favor.

Nice clue regarding the Story of Fallout. And nice hero.
Very well, I can’t wait for the exciting conclusion.

Mission 5 : Great final mission build up.

The mission is excellent, continually engaging, the hostages don’t take too long to find, I think two hours might be a little too much for the sense of urgency you wanted to implement here… 45 minutes is a little more credible. Also I deeply enjoyed the participation of Indigo in the mission. In the description of Isotope you typed “However, he’s willing to control his chaos for a price…” When it would actually sound better like “However, he’s willing to control his chaotic behavior for a price”…

Actually, up until now, I have found only a couple of things you could have done to improve your story, like for example include a story on how they were kidnapped by the Malta when you rescue the son, or her husband strange behavior as of lately, when you rescue the wife. I mean Fallout kind of becomes a side story in the arc; you could give it a little more flavor by including a couple of clues or something like that there.

Well besides that, I deeply enjoyed the design of the costume of the Black Monarch, and his power-sets make sense, what I didn’t like as much is that his first dialogue is so damn big I can’t be read all before combat starts, and he just keeps on talking, therefore I have to stop after the battle and scroll up to see the entire dialogue. The best of his lines is the checkmate one. It was, decisively, a great chess game.

Ok, I’m done; it took me 40 minutes to complete the whole arc. The feeling of having saved hundreds of lives, not including the ones of Fallout and his family makes me more heroic and epic than many other arcs out there.

Rank:***** An Outstanding arc, has every element that makes me remember the story. It was fun, well written, intriguing; it has major plots that you thwart, people you save from certain death and an already excellent enemy group that you can beat up, all in a days work. It would most definitely play this one over again with my friends.

One element that I did find tiresome is that constant way Crimson refers to the Malta as our “friends”. It’s ok to keep in-character and follow the game lore. But try not to over-abuse it. I ended up seeing the expression “friends” almost in all of the Mission Intro and Send Off dialogues every time the Malta were mentioned.

Excellent souvenir as well. Great reading material.

Well, keep it up and will review your other arc as soon as I can tomorrow or later today.

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Wow! Such a detailed and helpful review! I'm glad you loved the arc and I will definitely integrate quite a few of your suggestions (Especially the ellipsis issues. I tend to overuse those :P). I'm a little short on space, so I couldn't put everything I liked to there. Here's what I've done....

<ul type="square">[*]Fixed the "..." issues that you pointed out[*]Broke the two Titans in the second mission apart, gave them individual names (Mainly because you can't have two bosses with the same name without making them the exact same instance), and made an ambush for each one.[*]Changed Isotope's bio as you suggested.[*]Made the Black Monarch's first dialogue slightly smaller so that his words don't go off the speech bubble [*]Changed the final mission time limit to one hour. The mission is small enough that this should be doable, especially with Indigo's help.[*]Reduced the number of references to Malta as "our friends" when appropriate.[/list]
I didn't change the "someplace" thing because I figured you could get information from places rather than just people. I also left the Arachnos Flier thing unanswered because I don't know if the Rogue Arachnos really do have Fliers. Finally, I just couldn't think of anything interesting for Fallout's family to say that we didn't already know. Maybe I will come up with something later, though.

Thanks again for the great review and I'm glad you liked it that much! I'm looking forward to when you review my other one!

Since I don't think you'll be able to get around to my arcs for a while because of their level ranges, I figure I should contribute something to the thread in the meantime. Thus, I have two lowbie arcs that are not mine but I would definitely recommend, since they are my favorite lowbie-oriented MA arcs so far. Both are made by the same author, so I hope he doesn't mind if I at least recommend them to you.

1402 - In the Shadow of the Towers

2260 - The Burning of Hearts

The first one is a hero-oriented arc while the second one is a villain-oriented arc. Both are recommended for the 1-9 range, although I believe the first one goes to 15. The second one has you doing some terrible things to people who probably don't deserve it, so keep that in mind.

As always, I'm glad to see more reviewers. After all, it means more viewpoints on the various arcs. I, actually, was considering joining the fold eventually myself. In the meantime, though, here's my two arcs. The first one is a level 45-50 hero-oriented arc while the second is a 30-35 villain-oriented arc. If you only have time for one, the second one is less popular so I would go with that one.

Title: Blitzkrieg
Arc ID: 3416
Creator’s Global Name: @Mekkanos
Difficulty Level: Medium
Synopsis: A simple investigation into Malta Group activity turns into a fight for the freedom of heroes everywhere as you uncover the sinister Project: Blitzkrieg
Number of EB/AVS: 3
Story Type: Serious/Action (Hero oriented)
Mission Count: 5
Estimated Time to Play: 1-2 hours depending on how fast you go through.

Title: Soldiers of Fortune
Arc ID: 4431
Creator’s Global Name: @Mekkanos
Difficulty Level: Medium
Synopsis: Battle two ruthless mercenary groups for an ancient item of power alongside some unusual allies!
Number of EB/AVS: 1
Story Type: Serious/Action (Villain Oriented)
Mission Count: 5
Estimated Time to Play: 1-2 hours depending on how fast you go through.

I hope you enjoy them!

I really like this idea! The first two reviews were really fun too. I've got two arcs that you probably won't be able to play for a while, but I'd like to "reserve my spot", as it were.

When you get to the 30-35 range, I'd definitely like you to try out this arc.....

Title: Soldiers of Fortune
Arc ID: 4431
Creator’s Global Name: @Mekkanos
Difficulty Level: Medium
Synopsis: Battle two ruthless mercenary groups for an ancient item of power alongside some unusual allies!
Number of EB/AVS: 1
Story Type: Serious/Action (Villain Oriented)
Mission Count: 5
Estimated Time to Play: 1-2 hours depending on how fast you go through.

Note: This one may or may not be up this character's alley by the time he gets to this, since you do fight some police during the course of the arc (He seemed to have reservations about this in the Geist arc). Also, it involves a magic item, which he may not be interested in. Regardless, I think it should prove fun for you when you get to it.

And when you get to the 45-50 range, you can run.....

Title: Blitzkrieg
Arc ID: 3416
Creator’s Global Name: @Mekkanos
Difficulty Level: Medium
Synopsis: A simple investigation into Malta Group activity turns into a fight for the freedom of heroes everywhere as you uncover the sinister Project: Blitzkrieg
Number of EB/AVS: 3
Story Type: Serious/Action (Hero oriented)
Mission Count: 5
Estimated Time to Play: 1-2 hours depending on how fast you go through

Note: This one's hero-oriented but the events should be fairly relevant to him regardless. The question would be why the contact would trust him.

As I said before, these are intended for fairly specific level ranges, so I'm willing to wait for you to get to the proper level to play through them. I'm looking forward to seeing more from you, in the meantime!

EDIT: Happy birthday, by the way!

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Originally on Purple Lovin's highly sarcastic review pit

Title: Soldiers of Fortune
Arc ID: 4431
Creator’s Global Name: @Mekkanos
Level Range: 30-35

I rated this * * * * *

Likes: Custom Group, Contact, Allies, Plot, chatter, set pieces.
Dislikes: Lag? The final boss maybe, but that's just nit picking. Wordy.

Another one of those gigantic 5 mission arcs, which can sometimes be a pain to play because if they are awful I still cannot stop playing them in case they suddenly become great and I never know about it. This arc isn't one of those. It starts pretty cool, and continues in a fairly cool vein.

Mission 1 sees you perform a simple job for a payment of a magical artifact you should find on the scene (Villainous arc). In a rare shock the simple job is in fact, simple. Unfortunately your payment got nicked, and appears to be the target of two groups of merc's. The "Paradigm Company" and Sky Raiders.

This arc has you chasing your payment through 4 missions with the aid of your ever helpful and actually interesting contact. What he's up to is at least as interesting as your story in the missions, he also helps out by giving you some interesting allies to play with.

The story keeps going right up until after the end of mission 5 (yes the final contact speech is more than a well done, pat) and stays interesting througout.

Any down sides? A bit, but only a bit.

There was quite a bit of lag, but I'm blaming that on a nearby baby monitor interfering with the Wi-Fi rather than the author.

There was a lot to read in the chatter and the contact, and in a few of the clues, but its worth reading so fully excusable.

The final EB/AV was a little unnessesary plot wise given what it was all about, but looked cool (though I did find the PC bosses a harder fight), and didn't have fire armor (which would have had me tearing my hair out as I just cannot kill fire armor EB's). Things like the AV in there should exist as bosses/eb's in that faction in canon, so again even this negative is a positive. Maybe scale him down in the arc to EB level?

In short if the "Dev’s Choice: For Your Consideration" thread actually existed I'd post in there. Go play it. Shoo.

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Thanks for playing my arc! I'm glad you liked it that much! Now to address your points....

1) Lag: I haven't had any complaints about lag regarding the arc, although the custom critters might cause some. The baby monitor interfering with the Wi-Fi sounds like a likely suspect as well.

2) Wordiness: Yeah, I suppose that's a problem I have with my writing style in general. I've done what I can to curb it, but I can't think of much in the arc that I could condense down without detracting from the story. I'm glad you thought the wordiness was worth it, though.

3) The final boss: (Being purposely vague about his identity) Perhaps he was unnecessary but I wanted his group to show up one last time to clarify their role in the story and I didn't think a simple boss from the faction would make a very good send-off to the arc. I originally wanted the leader of the group to show up instead, but his level range is sadly above the one for the arc. In the interest of making a satisfying conclusion, I decided to make the final enemy a tough one. I don't know if I want to make him into an EB, though, especially considering he's supposed to be one of the top members of the group (His rank implies as much).

Anyway, thanks again for playing my arc and I'm honored that you think it's worth Dev's Choice!

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Arc #3416, "Blitzkrieg"

The title immediately made me think of the Metallica song, which would have been awesome to have playing at peak volume while playing this.

(Insert rant about how old Metallica is better then new)

(Insert debate about what exactly constitutes 'old Metallica')

Since this contains Malta and EBs, I used my Brute, Fast Kitty. And yes, I'll admit that is a rather pointless name. Normally I spend half an hour planning out a character's name, costume and backstory, but this one was created in a hurry for some reason I can't remember, and 'Faster Pussycat' was taken.

The contact is Crimson, and the author captures his style of speaking well. Except that on a 'real' mission, Crimson usually keeps you on a need-to-know basis, which is fine there, but wouldn't really work for an MA mission. "Go kill everyone in that bagel factory, I can't tell you why" would cause half the players to quit right there. Maybe his bagel didn't have enough raisins or something.

1) Infiltrate a Malta base to seek info. Nothing special here, dialog is good but not memorable.

2) Infiltrate an Arachnos base to seek info. Ditto.

3) We learn about Malta's sinister plan. I won't spoil it here except that it's plausible and well written. Anyway, the map is the Zig breakout. The mission intro even states that you may need to enter the sewers, which is a nice touch.

4) The map from the LRSF where the Titan appears. An optional EB who fortunately spawned out of the way, some glowies to smash, and a well-written hero boss.

5) Enter the Malta base to smash the head badguy. This was the arc's only required EB, who wasn't too hard, although it might be too much for a char who isn't Really Awesome.

This is a hard map to rate. The dialog was well written with no spelling or grammar mistakes, and the author didn't do anything blatantly wrong, so no FAILs are warranted. Still, there just wasn't anything that made me jump up and say 'wow!!!1' To be honest I'll probably forget this one by tomorrow. So, I'll invent a new rating, the MEH. But then, even that seems a bit harsh, so I'll give 'Blitzkrieg' half a MEH.

Rating: ME

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Thanks for playing my arc! I'm glad that you thought it was good, at the very least. I'm a little saddened that you thought it was forgettable but I guess I shouldn't expect everyone to be floored by the arc. I'm honored that you came up with a whole new rating just for my arc, though.

I'm always happy to see more reviewers, especially ones that put their own spin on their reviews. I'd like to volunteer my own arcs for this thread. Both feature AVs/EBs, so I'd recommend running them with the Brute (If you don't mind being called a hero in the first one, anyway). However, one AV/EB is optional in Blitzkrieg and you wil have help with the other two. Take that how you will. If you must run one, though, Soldiers of Fortune is slightly less popular.

Title: Blitzkrieg
Arc ID: 3416
Creator’s Global Name: @Mekkanos
Level Range: 45-50
Synopsis: A simple investigation into Malta Group activity turns into a fight for the freedom of heroes everywhere as you uncover the sinister Project: Blitzkrieg
Story Type: Serious/Action (Hero oriented)
Mission Count: 5
Estimated Time to Play: 1-2 hours depending on how fast you go through

Title: Soldiers of Fortune
Arc ID: 4431
Creator’s Global Name: @Mekkanos
Level Range: 30-35
Synopsis: Battle two ruthless mercenary groups for an ancient item of power alongside some unusual allies!
Story Type: Serious/Action (Villain Oriented)
Mission Count: 5
Estimated Time to Play: 1-2 hours depending on how fast you go through.

I can't access CoH/V for a while to play your arcs but I promise I will run one of them as soon as I get the chance!

EDIT: I have run Two Girls At Once and sent my review in-game! It was goofy fun, like I expected, but had some flaws that drew it down a bit. For instance, there didn't seem to be a lot of compass text besides the default that lists the objective's name. There's also the issue with the fact that some rather large assumptions are made about the player, which I suppose is inevitable in some cases. The fourth mission was particularly awkward, though. It took me a second to figure out that the hologram that the intro text is referring to is the Pocket D arena's hologram generator (Is it ever stated anywhere that the arena maps are holographic? I suppose it's a reasonable assumption to make). That and Silver Mantis' oddly presented censored dialogue made that mission a little off.

That said, I had fun playing the arc. The fact that you essentially have multiple people who chime in as the briefing goes on is quite amusing and the custom group is fun to fight. I will be checking out the sequel soon.

EDIT2: I ran the other one and enjoyed it quite a bit as well. The custom group from the first arc making a return without so much of a mention is a little odd but other than that, I'd say it was pretty well done. I personally don't have much issue with this one, other than the fact that the plan is ridiculous. It was entertaining overall.

Ah, excellent. I'm always glad to see another story arc reviewer, especially one that concentrates on story. I've been told that my story arcs have strong stories, so I'd like to submit them for your approval. I'd like to hope that you'd agree with the previous assessments but I am definitely open for suggestions.

Title: Blitzkrieg
Arc ID: 3416
Creator’s Global Name: @Mekkanos
Level Range: 45-50
Synopsis: A simple investigation into Malta Group activity turns into a fight for the freedom of heroes everywhere as you uncover the sinister Project: Blitzkrieg
Story Type: Serious/Action (Hero oriented)
Mission Count: 5
Estimated Time to Play: 1-2 hours depending on how fast you go through

Title: Soldiers of Fortune
Arc ID: 4431
Creator’s Global Name: @Mekkanos
Level Range: 30-35
Synopsis: Battle two ruthless mercenary groups for an ancient item of power alongside some unusual allies!
Story Type: Serious/Action (Villain Oriented)
Mission Count: 5
Estimated Time to Play: 1-2 hours depending on how fast you go through.

If you absolutely must choose one, Soldiers of Fortune is slightly less popular so I would go for that one. However, I would love it if you reviewed Blitzkrieg as well if you have the time, since I personally think it has a slightly stronger story.

EDIT: Replaced difficulty information with intended level range. The difficulty for both arcs is about moderate, though.

[ QUOTE ]
I'm seeing reports that a few bugs that were fixed have worked their way back into the game.

With no other information for me to go on I can only assume that they were removed in error.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, that's what I think too. There didn't appear to be anything wrong or exploitable with those two missions, so I assume they were accidentally removed. I would let them know that the missions are gone, so they can either clarify why they're gone or bring them back if they were accidentally removed.

[ QUOTE ]
Arc Name: Uncreation
Arc ID: 6832
Morality: Neutral
Creator: @Muu
Difficulty Level: Could be soloed with some challenge, but it's not overly difficult.
Arc Description: It is possible - through no fault of your own, and due to circumstances completely out of your hands - that you are about to destroy the Universe.
Arc Length: Five missions
Why you think it deserves to be played/discussed: Mekkanos suggested this arc to me, and I played it because I really enjoyed Muu's other arc "The Footsteps Initiative." This arc, however, is nothing like "Footsteps." This arc will leave you with more questions than answers, but despite that I enjoyed it. I think. I'm still working it over in my head.

[/ QUOTE ]

I actually ran a lot of the other arcs that Arwen mentioned in her post and second her statements regarding them. However, I wanted to call attention to this one to say that this one isn't really for everyone. Without spoiling too much, I'll just say that you probably won't have much clue why you're doing what you're doing throughout the arc.

Why did I like it, then? I thought it was genuinely frightening. One idea I find extremely disturbing is the thought of the unknown working on you, which is the central theme in the arc. You don't know why you're doing much of what you're doing or what the contact is talking about but the implications are more than slightly disturbing.

I guess what I'm getting at is that it's not really even close to a standard arc and that might put off some people, judging by its current 4-star average. However, the way it differed from most story arcs was what, in my opinion, made it good.

Well, I'll give this a try. I've been told that I have some strong story in these ones and I hope you agree! They only have 56 and 20 ratings, respectively.

Title: Blitzkrieg
Arc ID: 3416
Creator’s Global Name: @Mekkanos
Orientation: Villainous
Difficulty Level: Medium
Synopsis: A simple investigation into Malta Group activity turns into a fight for the freedom of heroes everywhere as you uncover the sinister Project: Blitzkrieg
Number of EB/AVS: 3
Mission Count: 5
Estimated Time to Play: 1-2 hours depending on how fast you go through

Note – This one's quite story-oriented, expanding upon aspects of canon I've been interested in for a while. As for the AV/EB fights, the first one is optional and you will have an AV/EB helper for the second two. Hopefully, this will make the story doable.

Title: Soldiers of Fortune
Arc ID: 4431
Creator’s Global Name: @Mekkanos
Orientation: Villainous
Difficulty Level: Medium
Synopsis: Battle two ruthless mercenary groups for an ancient item of power alongside some unusual allies!
Number of EB/AVS: 1
Mission Count: 5
Estimated Time to Play: 1-2 hours depending on how fast you go through.

Note - This story highlights a custom group I made but doesn't make them the sole focus of the arc. As with Blitzkrieg, it ties in a lot with the canon lore. I should let you know that the arc is oriented around the 30-35 range, so you'll spend pretty much the entire arc at 34-35 if your character is 50.

Hope you enjoy them!

[ QUOTE ]
I'm left with the feeling that this is someone's origin story and that the player is a Xanatos Sucker.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think it may in fact be an origin story but not one of a player. I haven't done this arc myself, but the description you give of Joe standing alongside the Freedom Phalanx while they hold off a group of villains reminds me of the final mission of the Recluse Strike Force. There is always a single, unexplained Longbow Eagle standing with the Freedom Phalanx in the center of the map in that mission (Presumably delivering Ms. Liberty's body). I believe that is supposed to be Joe himself. It's a clever way to tie in with the canon content, at least.

Thanks for recommending my arc, Arwen and Cassandra! I'm really glad you both enjoyed it, since it shows that my work on it paid off. Anyway, here's an arc I enjoyed back in beta so I hope everyone will like it too!

Arc Name: The Burning of Hearts
Arc ID: 2260
Morality: Villain
Creator: @TheDeepBlue
Difficulty Level: Solo oriented. Easy
Arc Description: Harrier Payne has a broken heart; the love of his life has left him for another man and he really expected better of her. She needs to be taught a lesson, and he'll pay for your help.
Arc Length: Long to Very Long depending on how fast you move through it
Why you think it deserves to be played/discussed: Like TheDeepBlue's other arcs, this one is a low level arc (It's 1-10) so the scale of the events here is rather small to match. However, that does not make the story worse by any means.

As the description suggests, you are hired by a multimillionaire named Harrier Payne to get revenge on his girlfriend, who has left him for another man. It seems like a fairly simple premise but the story it tells in the end is a rather tragic one. You slowly figure out the true nature of Harrier Payne and his relationship with his girlfriend throughout the course of the arc and I was quite disturbed by him. By the end, you'll have done some terrible things to some people who probably don't deserve it but the arc is labeled as villainous for a reason, after all.

The first mission is especially creatively presented, as you're wrecking things, stealing stuff and taking down goons to try to get the attention of a certain individual. I just thought it was creative to have all these things you can do on the map to try to draw the boss out.

Overall, I'd definitely say this arc is worth checking out. It's not particularly large scale but like Blue's other arcs, it doesn't need to be in order to be an effective, if depressing, story.

Well, if either Venture or Hell wouldn't mind, I'd definitely like my arcs reviewed. If I had to pick one, I'd pick Soldiers of Fortune because I think it needs the help a little bit more. If you can do both, though, that would be great!

Title: Blitzkrieg
Arc ID: 3416
Creator’s Global Name: @Mekkanos
Difficulty Level: Medium
Synopsis: A simple investigation into Malta Group activity turns into a fight for the freedom of heroes everywhere as you uncover the sinister Project: Blitzkrieg
Number of EB/AVS: 3 (One is optional and you will have help with the other two)
Story Type: Serious/Action (Hero oriented)
Mission Count: 5
Estimated Time to Play: 1-2 hours depending on how fast you go through

Title: Soldiers of Fortune
Arc ID: 4431
Creator’s Global Name: @Mekkanos
Difficulty Level: Medium
Synopsis: Battle two ruthless mercenary groups for an ancient item of power alongside some unusual allies!
Number of EB/AVS: 1 (You will have help in the mission, but they are fairly weak so they may not be alive when you get to the EB/AV)
Story Type: Serious/Action (Villain Oriented)
Mission Count: 5
Estimated Time to Play: 1-2 hours depending on how fast you go through.

I've liked your reviews so far so I think I'll post both of my arcs here for you to review. Blitzkrieg (The first one) is more popular and is hero oriented while Soldiers of Fortune (The second one) is less popular and is villain oriented. If I absolutely had to pick one, Soldiers is probably the one that needs more help if its slightly lower ratings and overall popularity is any indication. I'd would love it if you did both, though.

Author: @Mekkanos
Level Range: 45-50
Subject: A simple investigation into Malta Group activity turns into a fight for the freedom of heroes everywhere when you discover the sinister Project: Blitzkrieg!
Arc #: 3416
Name: Blitzkrieg

Author: @Mekkanos
Level Range: 30-35
Subject: Battle two mercenary groups for an ancient item of power with the help of some unusual allies!
Arc #: 4431
Name: Soldiers of Fortune

Hope you like them!

EDIT: Looked through a little more carefully and saw what you were looking for in terms of how you want the arc presented. I've edited this with both arcs and put it in terms you prefer.

I suppose I'll give this a shot while the thread's still relatively new. I'd like you to try my own arc. So far, public response has been fairly good to it and it even made Dev's Choice on Test. However, it lost that status on Live, so I'm not sure if it was overlooked or simply wasn't good enough. Anyway, here's my arc. I hope you enjoy it!

Title: Blitzkrieg
Arc ID: 3416
Creator’s Global Name: @Mekkanos
Suggested Level Range: 45-50 (Although I suppose you could do it from 41-50, too, but you'll be bumped up to 45 for the last mission)

Very nice! I especially love Rularuu's expression. It just screams "Rularuu is not amused by you, puny human." I'm definitely adding this one to my favorites.

Also, I definitely agree that Rularuu himself needs to be in the game, preferably as a raid. He is just plain too awesome looking to pass up.

Title: Blitzkrieg
Arc ID: 3416
Creator’s Global Name: @Mekkanos
Difficulty Level: Medium
Synopsis: A simple investigation into Malta Group activity turns into a fight for the freedom of heroes everywhere as you uncover the sinister Project: Blitzkrieg
Number of EB/AVS: 3
Story Type: Serious/Action (Hero oriented)
Mission Count: 5
Estimated Time to Play: 1-2 hours depending on how fast you go through

Note – This one's quite story-oriented, expanding upon aspects of canon I've been interested in for a while. As for the AV/EB fights, the first one is optional and you will have an AV/EB helper for the second two. Hopefully, this will make the story doable.

Title: Soldiers of Fortune
Arc ID: 4431
Creator’s Global Name: @Mekkanos
Difficulty Level: Medium
Synopsis: Battle two ruthless mercenary groups for an ancient item of power alongside some unusual allies!
Number of EB/AVS: 1
Story Type: Serious/Action (Villain Oriented)
Mission Count: 5
Estimated Time to Play: 1-2 hours depending on how fast you go through.

Notes - This particular arc highlights a custom group that I made, but doesn't make them the sole focus. I also wanted to work with one of my favorite contacts with this one and I've been told I've captured him well.

I hope you enjoy both arcs!

[ QUOTE ]
Arc Name: The Echo
Arc ID: 18188
Faction: Heroic
Creator Global/Forum Name: MrCaptainMan
Difficulty Level: Easy
Synopsis: A simple rescue reveals a deeper mystery involving a face from the past and a possible plot to destroy the world. Story-heavy 5-mission arc, narrative told mostly via clues. The last mission especially is very story intensive (and until

[/ QUOTE ]

I know TeChameleon (And now Dumok) already did this but since this one has gone on for so long without any critiques, I'll review it as well. In case you're curious, I ran this with a claws/regen scrapper.

[u]Mission 1[u]

Briefing:

Pretty decent. It seems like coloring the text to attract attention to the right details might be a good idea, though. Some people do it on names, but I'd recommend just making the warning that the Freaks are the kidnappers a pale green so people know that's the key thing they need to know at the moment.

Content:
<ul type="square">[*]Nice dialogue. You made the Freaks as entertaining as they usually are. I think there's a typo when one of the Freaks asks "Who the drekk" Harold is, though. Isn't it spelled dreck or is this just being similar to En Vogue's "flakkin'" slang?[*] En Vogue's info was a little awkward, mainly because he mentions the guy that paid them early on, talks about the conclave and then suddenly goes back to the guy. This might make it unclear as to which guy he's talking about. I understand you would want to keep the guy's identity until the end to increase the impact but you might still want to revise this. Maybe you could just say something like "The guy that hired us?" If you don't have enough room, though, don't sweat it.[/list]Debriefing:

No problems here. It seems a little weird that a Hero would pay people like the Freakshow to do things like that when there are villain groups who would probably be more reliable. Maybe that'll get explained later.

[u]Mission 2[u]

Briefing:

Fairly good. However, the mission acceptance task seems to suggest that your character already knows that they'll be going after librarians, when the contact only mentions that you'll actually be going to an archiving facility (Instead of just accessing a random computer with the files) in the send off text.

Content:
<ul type="square">[*]Hah! Evil librarians, archivists and janitors! Awesome! They weren't too hard and their powersets are pretty appropriate although it seems weird that angry librarians are empathy defenders. :P I swear that the janitors looked unnatural, though. I think it's their skin color, which looks rather strange for some reason, and their freaky faces. It might just be me, though. Also, they only seem to use their tools once and then use their dark powers from then on. That might just be the cost of having two melee powersets, one of which uses a weapon. Also, the Librarians use the default Frankengun. Did you want that?[*]The different files on the heroes and villains you found were very entertaining. Mother Superior's was particularly hilarious. [*]Nice "ambush" with the head librarian. He spawned right next to me when I got the last file, which is probably more luck than anything. Not sure if the lack of capitalization in his last few lines is on purpose, though.[/list]Debriefing:

Good. The fact that the contact has no reaction at all to the fact that the Librarians tried to kill you is a little strange, though. Is that on purpose? I guess he was probably expecting it, considering his briefing dialogue.

[u]Mission 3[u]

Briefing:

Mostly, no problem. The line "I'm sure if you explain things to the Crey personnel they'll be fine with it." could use a comma after "personnel" though

Content:
<ul type="square">[*]I really like the opening pop-up. It certainly shows the sillier side of Crey well. [*]The clues regarding the Lifesavers' deeds was great, showcasing both incredible heroics and bizarre adventures in under 300 words! I think that "yield" is mispelled and I believe that kangus (As in the Living Kangaroo) should also be capitalized considering it's describing a name. [*]The message from "The Monitor" is interesting. It's hilarious just how over the top it is.... I get the feeling that something's not right about The Monitor going mad, though, but we'll find out soon enough.[/list]Debriefing:

I liked the fact that the contact pointed out the inherent ridiculousness of the Monitor typing out the evil laugh and using FIVE exclamation marks to show his seriousness (Apparently, this is a Discworld reference, but even if I haven't read that, it's still hilarious)! No complaints here.

[u]Mission 4[u]

Briefing:

Nothing really wrong here. The "Still busy" dialogue seems to reference Wallace and Gromit with the whole "Get cracking, Grommit!" line. At least, I assume that's what you're referencing, although grommit also has some meanings too (I'm American, so some of the phrases you use in this arc are lost on me but I won't rate you down on that).

Content:
<ul type="square">[*]The Freaks, as usual, were hilarious and the bios for the individual boxes you had to destroy were even better. I wonder how many people will notice? The one about breaking the fourth wall was probably the best. I noticed that the "scientific doodads" didn't have any custom description, though, which is too bad.[*]When Smiffy (Love the name, by the way) says "or i'm gonna be royally cheesed off..." I think the I in "i'm" needs to be capitalized. [*]Again, hilarious pop-up in the end. I certainly did show them who was boss! [/list]Debriefing:

Again, no problem here. Hooray for saving the world by beating down inanimate objects!

EDIT: Ok, Test is back up so I'll finish the arc.

[u]Mission 5[u]

Briefing:

Again, good. The text message from the Monitor was hilarious. Nice to see you're highlighting the most relevant dialogue in the send off dialogue. However, there was a bit of a typo in that section. The contact suggests " I think you should take them down as they arrive, one at a time, they'll be too much for you en masse." I think that the comma after time should be a period and "they'll be too much for you" should be its own sentence.

Content:
<ul type="square">[*] The taunts broadcasted throughout the mission are certainly creepy, definitely highlighting the fact that the person saying it all is insane.[*] The progressive defeating of each boss to get more clues and eventually draw the final boss out is a novel idea. Kudos on that![*] As I progressed, the contrast between the extremely entertaining Freaks and the progressively more disturbing dialogue from Montieth became more and more apparent. It really was like an emotional seesaw. I do agree with the others that Montieth's story is certainly a departure from the light-hearted feel of the rest of the arc, but it certainly explains his descent into darkness. I think it's fine the way it is, personally.[*] Some typos I noticed: Mr. Kipling says "In fact, i'd say this is easy as pie!" "i'd" should probably be "I'd". Also, Kneepad says "Hey! you ain't a Freak!" I think "you" should probably be capitalized.[*] Sheesh, that was depressing.... Really sad to see he'd make such a plan for that reason. (EDITED at the author's request) The final clue could use some paragraph breaks if possible, though.[/list]Debriefing:
Well, I suppose that does explain a number of things. Still a really sad ending, but the contact does what he can to make you feel better. By the way, Janice is missing capitalization in the final paragraph and I believe the Zig is capitalized too.

[u]Overall[u]
Excellent arc. Very entertaining on the whole, although the mood shifts immensely towards the end. After all the goofiness of the arc, the utterly depressing ending really hits hard. Some people may not like it, but I think it works well. By the way, who the drekk was the Harold guy Janice mentions in the first mission? I don't think he's ever mentioned again. Finally, it sort of bothered me that no one ever seems to refer to you by name. Is that on purpose?

Anyway, my own arc was broken for a while, making it impossible to review. However, I was able to fix it with the latest patch. Thus, I'd like to repost it so people can critique it again.

Arc Name: Soldiers of Fortune
[color= orange]Arc ID:[/color] 8119
Faction: Villainous
Creator Global/Forum Name: @Mekkanos
Difficulty Level: Medium (Involves a custom villain group that is balanced for the middle levels and a slightly difficult Arch-Villain towards the end)
Synopsis: Battle two ruthless mercenary groups for an ancient item of power with the help of some unusual allies! Ideal for people in the 30-35 range.
Estimated Time to Play: About an hour or two, depending on how fast you go through the missions. None are defeat all.

[ QUOTE ]
The story itself was actually pretty good. 5/5 there. The only thing I didn't like is that you weren't kidding. It was long. However, no Defeat Alls and most of them could be ghosted, so yeah, it's good. I typically cannot be at the computer for extended periods of time.

Here are some bugs I picked up.

Messed up Title.

Mission 1:
Hellraiser Sykes belongs to All Custom Characters Villian Group

Mission 2:
Mission Intro for Second Mission "Steal the Eye". "Paragon Police are barely able to keep this battle from spilling out into other are of the city." I guess it should be "area".
Hellraiser Trask belongs to All Custom Characters Villian Group and surrounded by allied Sky Raiders

Mission 3:
Good.

Mission 4:
Hellraiser Shepherd belongs to All Custom Characters Villian Group
"Finally. I thought we'd never get rid of HeroAdjective." in defeating a Rularuu.

Mission 5:
Typo in second paragraph mission briefing.
Hellraiser Freeman belongs to All Custome Characters Villian Group.
Any problem can be solved with Trip Mines and End Drain. Not necessarily a bug, but always nice.


Might as well post mine.

Arc Name: Dimensional Rift Detected
[color= orange]Arc ID:[/color] 13685
Faction: Heroic
Creator Global/Forum Name: @EnderXncdr/Killohurtz
Difficulty Level: Medium-High. (No AVs or EBs, but the Bosses are little difficult.)
Synopsis: A rift opened up in Peregrine Island, and you are asked to investigate. Custom Critters only. Goes into Superdudes lore and yet, is part of canon. (http://www.superdudes.net)
Estimated Time to Play: About 30 minutes to an hour. First Mission is Defeat All. Second Mission is Defeat Bosses.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thanks for playing my arc! Glad you enjoyed it! Anyway, I've fixed the bugs that you pointed out (Most of which were introduced by this latest patch) except for the HeroAdjective one. He's supposed to say "I thought we'd never get rid of him/her" depending on your gender but apparently, if it's an NPC he defeats, it doesn't say either one and just says HeroAdjective instead. That's a bug with $himher that is unrelated to my arc, sadly. Also, the title being messed up is happening with all arcs that have spaces in their names, as far as I know.

Anyway, since you went through the trouble of running my arc, I figure I can return the favor by running yours.

Starting up:
In the description, after "They are requesting assistance", it says &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;. I assume this was to signify pressing Enter twice but I don't think those work in Architect descriptions.

Mission 1:
Briefing:
<ul type="square">[*]Typo in the first sentence of the second paragraph of the briefing. It should be "I need some help" instead of just "need some help." [*]In the "shiny Crey building" sentence of the send off dialog, the scientists are referred to as "started." I'd recommend changing this to startled or even shaken. [*]Again, in the send off dialogue, the sentence " Oh by the way, not that you need to, but a little back-up may be helpful." is a little awkward. I'd recommend changing it to " Oh, by the way,you may not need it, but a little back-up may be helpful." or " Oh, by the way, a little back-up may be helpful... not that you need it."[*]The last sentence says "it will record the the source of Rift's coordinates." The two "the's" are a typo and I would recommend changing Rift to "the Rift" because I don't think the dimensional rift is actually called Rift. (That's actually a cool name for a villain, though)[/list]Contents
<ul type="square">[*]Really creepy custom enemies. Great work on them! The Minions of Apathy are absurdly powerful, though, taking away most of my health in one hit. Keep in mind that these things are MINIONS, which means there could be several of them in a group. This may be an issue with Ninjitsu in general, though. I've noticed every enemy that has Ninjitsu at the moment does absurd damage, perhaps because they're always critical hitting.[*]The Minions of Greed have a typo in their bios. It says "...standing in their way, by stealing their abilities." I don't think that comma should be there. The Minions of Apathy have a similar typo in their bios, "...of people in general, and exploit when necessary." Again, I don't think that comma should be there and I believe that "exploit when necessary" should probably be "exploit that fact when necessary."[*]The clue when you close the portal says "... where a large battle between the forces of Decay and some other group." I think it should probably be "you saw (Or observed, if you prefer) a large battle.."[*]The mission complete clue says " The Officer of Fear before he melted into a pile of goo..." It should probably be "The Officer of Fear said before he melted into a pile of goo..."[/list]Debriefing:
Quite good. No problems that I could see.

Mission 2:
Briefing:
No problems that I noticed.
Content:
<ul type="square">[*]Maybe this is just because of all the bosses in this mission but it seems like this group uses confuse excessively. I can live with all the slows but when practically every group confuses me, it's getting impossible to actually attack anything, especially with all the slows on top of that. I was able to defeat most of the bosses on the map regardless but once I got to the Officers of Apathy and got one-shotted by their energy transfer at full health, I gave up out of frustration.[/list]Misc:
<ul type="square">[*]Besides what I've said already, I'll definitely say that the group definitely needs to be toned down a lot. The worst offenders are the Minions and Officers of Apathy, which I've previously mentioned. In particular, the Officers' energy transfer one-shots me without fail, doing 3576 energy damage along with 1859 smashing damage when my scrapper only has 1338 HP. The excessive debuffs from the other enemies need to be looked at as well. Debuffs are good and make for an interesting group but you have to remember that too many can render a player character helpless. They are, however, a really well designed group with a lot of diversity! Once they're toned down, they should make interesting opponents.[*]All of the scripted bosses (Such as the ones you need to defeat in the second mission) are currently in the faction "All Custom Characters" similar to mine.[/list]
Hope that helps! This arc has a lot of potential and once the enemy group is toned down, I'd definitely like to see more arcs featuring them. Decay, although we haven't heard much about him, at least appears to be a formidable foe.

Wow, this thread got buried pretty fast. Anyway, I made this arc a while ago but only recently got some friends to run it to get their feedback on it. I think it's ready to be critiqued by the people in this thread.

Arc Name: Soldiers of Fortune
[color= orange]Arc ID:[/color] 8119
Faction: Villainous
Creator Global/Forum Name: @Mekkanos
Difficulty Level: Medium (Involves a custom villain group that is balanced for the middle levels and a slightly difficult Arch-Villain towards the end)
Synopsis: Battle two ruthless mercenary groups for an ancient item of power with the help of some unusual allies! Ideal for people in the 30-35 range.
Estimated Time to Play: About an hour or two, depending on how fast you go through the missions. None are defeat all.

So far, the people who have run it loved it, so I'm hoping you feel the same! Also, please try to be careful about spoilers. This one has a few interesting twists and, as the description suggests, some unusual allies.

All right, here goes....

Arc Name: Soldiers of Fortune
[color= orange]Arc ID:[/color] 8119
Faction: Villainous
Creator Global/Forum Name: @Mekkanos
Difficulty Level: Medium (Involves a custom villain group that is balanced for the middle levels and a slightly difficult Arch-Villain towards the end)
Synopsis: Battle two ruthless mercenary groups for an ancient item of power with the help of some unusual allies! Ideal for people in the 30-35 range.
Estimated Time to Play: About an hour or two, depending on how fast you go through the missions. None are defeat all.

I spent a lot of time on this one, so I sincerely hope you enjoy it. It may seem straightforward at first, but things will get complicated pretty fast.

&gt; talk shopkeeper

[ QUOTE ]

In the RWZ, some Rikti refer to you as a "Birthform," yet in others its implied the mutation is initiated earlier. It's possible those calling your a "birthform" are mutated Lost.


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To add on to this, I believe it is implied in Timothy Raymond's arc along with part of Levantera's second arc that Rikti are not born live, but rather start out as embryos growing up in what is referred to as an "exo-womb" by Ben Decker. Their initial mutations are introduced during this time and continued throughout their childhood and adolescence until they fully become a Rikti during what I assume is their young adulthood. Because humans ARE born live, it makes sense for Rikti to call us "birth-bodies".

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They started dying from a chicken-pox style disease, and are in our dimension to steal our organs and use them to patch themselvse up.


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Bill already covered this, but I also want to cover the organ angle. The reason the Rikti are stealing organs (Mainly from medical cadavers, I believe. I don't think they want to lower themselves to actually tearing apart living humans) is to replace withered organs. Apparently, Rikti organs decay at an increased rate when they overwork themselves in combat, perhaps because the Rikti are usually a peaceful race and thus not used to the strain of battle. Since human and Rikti organs are fairly similar, they can use our organs when they cannot access whatever facilities that help with this problem on their homeworld.

As for the original question, I don't know if Rikti have mouths in the traditional sense, although DO have things that look like nostrils but may really be mouths. Complicating manners a bit is the fact that Rikti do indeed appear to consume some sort of physical food, although it apparently tastes like algae until you get its psychic flavor transmission, according to Infernia. How they consume this food is anyone's guess.