Just Another Arc Review Thread - Spell Blade
By
Beach_Lifeguard,
Posted on: 2009-05-11 18:30 in Mission Architect
Heyas Spell.
If you wouldn't mind taking a look at my arc, "Trollbane" (levels 10-14, #106553) and/or "How to Survive a Robot Uprising" (high-level arc, #12669), I'd appreciate it. Both are at the "Hmm... I'm not seeing anything major wrong, but I can't shake the feeling that they're not as polished as they could be" stage.
Oh- fair warning, Trollbane has a handful of EBs in it, although I don't think they're anything too tough to handle.
EDIT- Oh, and as an aside... #of playthroughs =/= #of reviews >.<
"A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head." Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates
MA Arcs: #12285, "Small Fears", #106553, "Trollbane", #12669, "How to Survive a Robot Uprising"
Wow, you have perfect timing. I was just lamenting to myself over my feelings on how my Arc's story feels a bit... light. If you have any advice on how I can draw people into the story, make it more involved with the player, I would LOVE to hear it.
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Arc Name: The Clockwork Crusade
Arc ID: 126073
Faction: Arachnos, Vahzilok, Council, Clockwork
Creator Global/Forum Name: @YanYan
Difficulty Level: Easy to Moderate, designed to be solo able by any AT
Mission Levels: 1-20
Synopsis: Hero Corps has asked you for some unique help. Seems the Clockwork are making some strange attacks against other villains. They've asked you to 'assist' them under cover.
Estimated Time to Play: 30 Minutes to an Hour.
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Ah, excellent. I'm always glad to see another story arc reviewer, especially one that concentrates on story. I've been told that my story arcs have strong stories, so I'd like to submit them for your approval. I'd like to hope that you'd agree with the previous assessments but I am definitely open for suggestions.
Title: Blitzkrieg
Arc ID: 3416
CreatorÂ’s Global Name: @Mekkanos
Level Range: 45-50
Synopsis: A simple investigation into Malta Group activity turns into a fight for the freedom of heroes everywhere as you uncover the sinister Project: Blitzkrieg
Story Type: Serious/Action (Hero oriented)
Mission Count: 5
Estimated Time to Play: 1-2 hours depending on how fast you go through
Title: Soldiers of Fortune
Arc ID: 4431
CreatorÂ’s Global Name: @Mekkanos
Level Range: 30-35
Synopsis: Battle two ruthless mercenary groups for an ancient item of power alongside some unusual allies!
Story Type: Serious/Action (Villain Oriented)
Mission Count: 5
Estimated Time to Play: 1-2 hours depending on how fast you go through.
If you absolutely must choose one, Soldiers of Fortune is slightly less popular so I would go for that one. However, I would love it if you reviewed Blitzkrieg as well if you have the time, since I personally think it has a slightly stronger story.
EDIT: Replaced difficulty information with intended level range. The difficulty for both arcs is about moderate, though.
My arcs:
Title: Blitzkrieg
Arc ID: 3416
Title: Soldiers of Fortune
Arc ID: 4431
Title: The Rikti Accession
Arc ID: 278757
I always like having someone new look at my story. In 2 arcs so far, although they can be played separately.
Title: Future Skulls
ID: 4727
Levels: 1-15
Description: The Skulls are just a street gang now. But they have big plans for the future. Mirror Spirit asks for your help to stop one of them. [SFMA/LBMA]
Title: Simple Times
ID: 70801
Levels: 4-15
Description: Talshak the Mystic has asked for your help with a minor clean up mission in a warehouse. Happens all the time, no big deal, just giving someone a quick helping hand. At least that was how it started. Sequel to Future Skulls. [SFMA/LBMA]
Justice Blues, Tech/Tank, Inv/SS
----------------------
Fighting The Future Trilogy
----------------------
I'll submit the 3rd arc in my signature:
The Revenge of Dr. Marcovici #161797
I feel my first arc (down there in my sig) has a more solid story than the second, but I've been getting good reviews on both of them (currently at about 15 or 16 players and four star averages). You might enjoy them if you want a humorous story to follow. 
124477, 154205, 156389, 106553, 12669, 126073, 3416, 4431, 4727, 70801, 161797, 101165, 148476
... Bludgeoning on...
SG Leader "Knights of Tir Asleen"
"I am a humanoid... I get really annoyed at the things humans do."
"Shepherd" ID: 135806 - Heroic Morality Story Arc
if you gave my arc a run and review it would be appreciated.
Do YOU have nightmares about the Vahzilok? Can't sleep because you failed to defeat that Boss over and over again? Do you let your teammates down because you run away from Malta sappers? Do clowns make you have an anxiety attack? Try HERO Therapy (TM)! Start Today! 4 EASY sessions! (1EB,1AV allies provided)
Please give this arc a try... you probably need to. Only 5(!) easy payments! You will not regret it!
*Small print* Failure to complete this arc may result in impotence, baldness, general ridicule from children, a lessening of EXP earning potential, and an overall decline of self respect. For further details contact ridiculous girl. Money will not be refunded under any condition.
global: ridiculous girl
Hero Therapy! (TM) - 119228
welcome to donut world - 1233
Cool a reviewer that likes story.
Curious what you think of mine.
Arc Name: Broken Promises Part 1-Darkness Within
Arc ID: 13874
Faction: Neutral
Creator Global/Forum Name: @Narda
Level Range: Various
Estimated Time to Play: 45 min-2 hour
Synopsis: At the beginning of the 80's, the father of David Wincott promised a legendary hero named Marfek to watch over Marfek's daughter as she became a hero. He failed in that promise, and Jo'and disappeared. Now David intends to find out what occured.
Part 2 is done, but needs a few more clues added to it. Both also hint to my Save the Carnival of Light arc.
Home Server (Pinnacle) Global: @Narda
Susie Vir ----(Level 50 claws/ dark armor scrapper)
Gwendolyn Riely ----(Level 50 Earth/Storm troller)
Goblin Mistress----(Level 50 MM)
I have a pair of story-based arecs I wouldn't mind seeing reviewed. If you'd rather have one per person, please pick the one that looks more interesting. Both have EBs and AVs.
The Sleeping Star (53951) 45-50 Heroic
A young girl's friend has gone missing, and she'd like you to help search for her.
(with one of the AVs, you have an ally. The other is optional. Kheldians may have trouble in the first mission, (bring purples?) but will be fine after that)
Through Rose-Tinted Glasses (101681) 40-50 Villainous.
Elspeth Wallace is a senile old lady. Elspeth Wallace knows many secrets. Elspeth Wallace thinks you're Manticore... wait, what? This could be weird... but profitable. (2 Signature AV/EBs)
Thanks for your time. Don't bother responding privately ingame, these are posted in my EU account and comments won't reach me.
Saving Grace
Arc ID: 124477
Length: 4 Missions
Villain Groups: Circle of Thorns, Crey, Freakshow
Character Used: Sorcerist - Level 49 EB/Dev Blaster (Guardian)
Good Stuff: Solid storyline. Custom characters appropos to their theme.
Bad Stuff: Some lack of consistency. Lack of punctuation in places. Unexplained use of a "Defeat All" mission. Combatative hostages. No souvenir.
Premise: A pair of twins are part of an organization that works against the Circle of Thorns find out that maybe their mother isn't dead after all.
This was a good Hero morality arc. In Mission One, you're asked to rescue Thunder Shower's brother, an EB named Stormborn, from a situation where he might have gotten in over his head. While there, the contact wants you to search for clues to either prove or disprove her brother's belief that their mother isn't actually dead. My only gripe is that it used the Oranbega map, but that's just because like most people I hate that map. However, considering it was the CoT that I was fighting against it was apropos for the situation.
You find out that apparently the CoT have been partners with Crey for some time concerning an experiment. Interesting, but not necessarily unlikely. Bad guys searching for power could conceivably make such an alliance.
In Mission Two, you're searching an abandoned hospital in Perez Park looking for more clues. (The mission door popup here was missing a period.) The Lieutenant version of Stormborn apparently isn't going to wait for you so you have to find him inside. Though it was more of a map glitch than anything else, a lot of the clickable computers seemed to spawn inside of gurneys. The clickables also needed some punctuation, both for the interrupt phase ("Searching data base") and for the "Nothing useful" text that followed.
Mission Three was against the Freakshow and involved searching a warehouse for clues. The mobs spawned at a -2 initially, growing in difficulty as I proceeded through the map. This was also a defeat all without a general purpose. I found Thunder Shower (who also spawned at a lower level) not far in because she wanted to see things with her own eyes on this run. However, she was extremely squishy and nearly died several times as I advanced on. Also, the clickable in this mission was a pile of rubble, however the interruptable text referred to it as a box. The clue that came with the clickable also said rubble, so that might have been a missed past edit.
Mission Four was the final attempt to rescue "mom" but it also came with 3 other rescues. Again, the mob spawns started out as unequal to my level, beginning with the first mob ranking at -1. The first rescue went off without much of a hitch, even with the ambush. Sonic Snowplow, despite being freed from stasis, was an active combatant until I got him to the door. Unfortunately, the second rescue did not go so well. Miss Needle went running off after one of the ambushers, got herself aggroed by others, and got herself ultimately killed. Scatterspike, rescue #3, was taken to the door like the first, but instead of leaving he followed me back into the heart of things. His affiliation tag also read "Villians" which had me wondering if he was suppose to turn on me at the door or not considering his dialogue after getting him there. The ambush after rescuing "mom" almost caused me to eat it, but I managed to muddle through without dying and still somehow keep Storm's Grace intact. Once I got her to the door, the mission was over.
I suggest fixing the punctuation in the texts. I also suggest altering the Defeat All or clarifying a reason for it. You may want to look into whatever reasons caused the mobs to spawn at less than equal levels as well. Some people just aren't into easy wins. You may also consider changing the hostages to non-combat status. It'd be more realistic for them to be disoriented and incapable of fighting freshly removed from stasis. Either way, the danger of them running off after an enemy makes it very easy for them to get killed.
All in all, though, as a story this one was nicely played out even with the "bad stuff." With a few adjustments and some corrections, it has a lot of potential.
Rated: 5 Stars
SG Leader "Knights of Tir Asleen"
"I am a humanoid... I get really annoyed at the things humans do."
"Shepherd" ID: 135806 - Heroic Morality Story Arc
[ QUOTE ]
As a general rule, I focus more on plots than the actual missions themselves. I'm a sucker for a good story. I will look at arcs from the vantage point of a writer and give you what feedback I can. I promise that I will be objective and honest about what I see. However, I do not promise that I won't at times be blunt in my honesty.
So, down to business:
Fallen Angel
Arc ID: 111352
Length: 5 Missions
Character Used: Dark Elf Cuisinart - Level 50 DB/WP Scrapper (Guardian)
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Thank you for the feedback on this. As harsh as it was, it was definitely needed. I know it had 84 rates on it, but not alot of feedback. This is where being a badge hunter has a disadvantage. Despite my asking for no free stars, I had gotten some. As for here, I've had only one other review on these forums and that was 2+ weeks ago. Most of the in game comments have been short and positive. So it's welcome to have a much harsher critic to point out flaws and offer suggestions.
I have spent a good bit of time editing this. Most of the changes were in the first 2 missions dialog, so if you have a chance to take a quick peek at it, please let me know what you think. Hopefully it'll add a couple more stars to the rating you gave it. :P
The Existence of a Gnome
Arc ID: 154205
Length: 5 Missions
Character Used: Dark Elf Cuisinart - Level 50 DB/WP Scrapper (Guardian)
Good Stuff: Clever story idea.
Bad Stuff: Cabal painted as truly villainous. Ambushes during boss fights.
Premise: A new cabal of sorceresses have sprung up outside of Croatoa and Gordon Bower would like for you to look into it.
Mission One was simple. Find four clickable altars. This one could easily be stealthed through. The idea here is that you're taking pictures and recording what the ladies around you are saying as you work through the map.
In Mission Two, which was a timed mission for some reason, you have to go through some catacombs and destroy tomes that the Cabal ladies are setting up to bring forth their sisters out of the spirit world. The other goal here is to defeat a Cabal sorceress named Melinda... who was a cakewalk. For some reason, the spawns on this mission ranged between 49-51.
Mission Three takes place in the Midnight Squad's lair and requires you to secure some relics as well as deal with an upstart named Catherine Smote. Catherine is not a typical Cabal lady by this point. She's a Fire/Elec blaster type. I was having the typical endurance issues in fighting her, but it wasn't that much of a problem... until an ambush showed up at my back and sapped out the rest of my end. Catherine was defeated by DoT and I exited out with a bare sliver of life left.
In Mission Four it was time to reclaim the artifacts that the Cabal stole from the Midnighters. They'd taken refuge in a warehouse that also had shipments of garden gnomes, which seemed to fascinate the witches for some reason. All this came with the bonus of having a rematch against Catherine. MAGI has sent help here in the form of Desdemona and Nerril. Again, an ambush showed up during the boss fight and started whittling away at my endurance. Like before, Catherine died by DoT and I got out of Dodge.
The final stroke against these Cabal was destroying the last of the tomes in Mission Five. You also had to rescue Tiki Gnome, one of those garden gnomes from the previous mission who had accidently been enchanted and given life by Catherine. Given the dialogue cues from the ladies as you work through the map, apparently something went terribly wrong.
In the end, Tiki was registered as a hero and put with a group who could help him adjust to his new life.
This was a clever idea. However, I think you could have kept with the original Cabal names instead of altering them for a custom group. You also might want to rethink some of the dialogue in Mission Two, I believe. The Cabal are not truly villainous, they're just some powerful ladies who have been backed into a corner by the Red Caps. If they're a splinter group that isn't led by Mary M., then you really should make that more clear. That was my original impression at first (with the dialogue and the custom names) and it may not be a bad idea to run with if that's the impression others are getting.
Rated: 3 Stars
SG Leader "Knights of Tir Asleen"
"I am a humanoid... I get really annoyed at the things humans do."
"Shepherd" ID: 135806 - Heroic Morality Story Arc
I'd like a review of either of my two arcs, or both if you have the time.
Arc ID: 48942
Arc Name: Too Drunk to be Alcoholic
Contact: Dark Lancer
Missions: 5 short ones
Enemies: Crey, Freaks, custom group
Alignment Heroic but sorta neutralish
Level range: 30-50
Description: Save Dark Lancer's pal and uncover a deeper conspiracy.
Arc ID: 111486
Arc Name: To Slay Sleeping Dragons
Contact: Malaketh
Missions: 3 short ones
Enemies: Longbow, custom group
Alignment Villainous!
Level range: 1-50
Description: That meddling hero Azure Song needs be removed, and Malaketh knows how, but he needs your help!
Current Published Arcs
#1 "Too Drunk to be Alcoholic" Arc #48942
#2 "To Slay Sleeping Dragons" Arc #111486
#3 "Stop Calling Me"
I would love some feedback on either one of my arcs:
Arc Name: The Double-Edged Sword
Arc ID: 4384
Morality: Heroic
Length: Long
Level Ranges: Three missions 30-54, two missions 40-54
Difficulty: Medium- Final mission contains 1 AV, but with optional Allies; a few collections, several rescues (Captives and Allies)
Synopsis: At first it seemed like business as usual for Crey Industries. But when a shady experiment spirals out of control, it's up to you to stop the growing threat.
Arc Name: Dr. Dave and the Copper Legion
Arc ID: 60280
Morality: Heroic
Length: Very Long
Level Ranges: All levels cap at 54; min. levels are 35-5-1-1-41.
Difficulty: Medium- Final mission contains 1 AV, but with two Allies; many collections, some captives to rescue, an escort mission
Synopsis: When an ancient weapon is unearthed by forces unknown, do you have what it takes to save Paragon City from destruction?
I'm fairly happy with both so far, but I know there's still plenty of room for improvement.
Rise of the Copper Legion (#60280; with soundtrack)
The Fractured Dreamer (#498588; with musical theme)
"Now Leaving: Paragon City": original composition for the end of CoH
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
As a general rule, I focus more on plots than the actual missions themselves. I'm a sucker for a good story. I will look at arcs from the vantage point of a writer and give you what feedback I can. I promise that I will be objective and honest about what I see. However, I do not promise that I won't at times be blunt in my honesty.
So, down to business:
Fallen Angel
Arc ID: 111352
Length: 5 Missions
Character Used: Dark Elf Cuisinart - Level 50 DB/WP Scrapper (Guardian)
[/ QUOTE ]
Thank you for the feedback on this. As harsh as it was, it was definitely needed. I know it had 84 rates on it, but not alot of feedback. This is where being a badge hunter has a disadvantage. Despite my asking for no free stars, I had gotten some. As for here, I've had only one other review on these forums and that was 2+ weeks ago. Most of the in game comments have been short and positive. So it's welcome to have a much harsher critic to point out flaws and offer suggestions.
I have spent a good bit of time editing this. Most of the changes were in the first 2 missions dialog, so if you have a chance to take a quick peek at it, please let me know what you think. Hopefully it'll add a couple more stars to the rating you gave it. :P
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I'm glad to know that you went back and reworked the arc. When I get the chance, I'll give it another run and see how the changes work out. I can't promise it'll be soon, but I do promise that I will give it another go. (I've picked up a bit of a queue in this thread and I need to whittle that down before I can re-do any arcs, especially the longer ones.)
SG Leader "Knights of Tir Asleen"
"I am a humanoid... I get really annoyed at the things humans do."
"Shepherd" ID: 135806 - Heroic Morality Story Arc
So as not to step on any toes in Venture's thread, I've started my own. I'll take review requests, just keep in mind that I do work most weekday nights so I may not necessarily be able to get to them in a timely manner if they're long arcs.
As a general rule, I focus more on plots than the actual missions themselves. I'm a sucker for a good story. I will look at arcs from the vantage point of a writer and give you what feedback I can. I promise that I will be objective and honest about what I see. However, I do not promise that I won't at times be blunt in my honesty.
So, down to business:
Fallen Angel
Arc ID: 111352
Length: 5 Missions
Character Used: Dark Elf Cuisinart - Level 50 DB/WP Scrapper (Guardian)
Good Stuff: An interesting expanding of Longbow forces.
Bad Stuff: Badly organized plot. Lack of consistency. Unintelligent "Elite" hero.
Premise: Arachnos has been watching a certain hero named Angel Irene for some time and they've devised a plan to bring her to their side.
(I'm going to go on record as saying that I have no idea why the author asked for this arc to be reviewed considering it had already been rated 84 times before I ever got to it. I'm also going to go on record and say that I did not enjoy this arc at all.)
Apparently Angel Irene has been getting bored as a hero and now spends her time badge hunting. Okay, so somehow this makes it perfectly okay for an elite hero to go wantonly beating up on Red Caps and Tuatha. This is how you find her in Mission One. The PC is a villain posing as a hero to gain Irene's trust. Irene is obviously not too bright if she takes someone she's never even seen before at face value when they waltz up and hand her a supposed note from Ms. Liberty. If the signature heroes were really worried about her lack of enthusiasm in her work, I'm sure they would have done something much more official in that sense.
But no, Irene has been hit with an Idiot Stick... and not just once. Because when she does as the note instructs, which is breaking into a supposed rogue Longbow base in Mission 2, she is confronted with two blatantly obvious dialogu cues that something is not as it seems. Yet, for the sake of the story, she continues to work with the PC in beating the snot out of Positron and defeating all Longbow forces in the base. She also doesn't seem to care that you're lifting Positron's plans off the computer banks for something called a Power Transmuter.
Irene went from a Lieutenant in Mission One to an Elite Boss in Mission 2. That caused a raised eyebrow. I suddenly found myself being followed around by a slightly more helpful version of Fusionette on overdrive. I engaged my Suspension of Disbelief and plodded on.
Mission Three was a rescue to get Irene out of the Zig. Okay, standard villain run. An escort mission with no help from the escort, no big deal. Complete with ambush. Again, no big deal. Irene's also back to being a Lieutenant again. The problem here was a half hour timer that counted down for when some major trouble would arrive. I beat the timer, but I suspect I would have had some signature heroes on my case if I hadn't. My Suspension of Disbelief was still running, however, because if Irene had been a smart hero, she would have immediately turned on the PC and told him to go someplace very hot.
However, Irene's been hit with the Idiot Stick and that almost never reverses itself.
In Mission Four, those lifted plans come into play as Arachnos has developed a fully functional Power Transmuter. Irene is its first subject and is getting her powers altered from Energy Blast/Devices to something else Energy Blast/Rad. I almost ate it when I reached the Transmuter and found myself assaulted from all sides by various custom Longbow forces. The Longbow Freezers had my powers chilled down to almost pencil points. Miss Irene has now changed her name from Angel Irene to Seraph Irene and is just burning for revenge against Longbow and the other heroes who "betrayed" her.
It was at this point my Suspension of Disbelief went into failure.
The last Mission featured a rematch against Positron as well as destroying Longbow's version of the Power Transmuter, which is where they were getting their nifty upgraded soldiers. Irene went from lieutenant to EB again in this mission. Her affiliation tag also still read "Justice Legion Elite" which I thought odd considering she was supposed to be a villain by this point. Positron was an EB both times and this time he actually dropped me just as I got him down to next to nothing in health. I got back up via Resurgence and finished the job.
The contact gave me my requisite pat on the head and all was well; except that a quote from Spaceballs ran over and over through my head: "Evil will always win because Good is dumb."
This whole arc played Irene out to be an idiot. A truly elite hero should never have been so easily duped. I would have found this plot far more believable had Irene already been looking for a reason to turn evil. Then and ONLY then would I believe that she would have taken an unknown "hero" at face value without checking into things on her own with her own contacts. I strongly suggest taking out the first encounter with Positron. His very presence there at the facility should have been enough of a warning flag for Angel Irene to cease and desist immediately. This might require some dialog alteration of the final fight against Positron, but I think that will help make the arc's plot a bit more believable.
In any case, I quote Lady Sally McGee: "I like my bull**** plausible."
Rated: 1 Star
SG Leader "Knights of Tir Asleen"
"I am a humanoid... I get really annoyed at the things humans do."
"Shepherd" ID: 135806 - Heroic Morality Story Arc