Anyone that sent a hateful message is a Grade-A Jerk.
I had someone 'disappear' during a Synapse TF. It was the mission to defeat the Clockwork Lord. Normally, if the leader selects the next mission it will kick any stragglers out of the last mission. In this case, the next mission is a 'talk to' and it can't be done until everyone exits the map.
I sent a few tells. No reply. I explained the situation to the rest of the team and told them to take a snack break. We gave the person 10 minutes then I kicked them so we could continue the TF. There was no need for any discourtesy.
(I learned later that the person had an emergency with a family member which was addressed in a matter of minutes but caused them to completely forget about the TF. No big deal.)
Anyway, if anyone sent me nasty messages in a situation like that, I'd one-star them and attach a player note QUOTING what they said to me so I would later recall exactly why I would not wish to associate with them.
Paragon City Search And Rescue
The Mentor Project
I wasn't on your team, but I do know you from all the times you have been on a team of mine. I know you are a good player and a good team player. All those people who sent you hateful messages should be ashamed of themselves. I am wondering why none of them considered the possibility that something happened that resulted in your being gone. I am all for giving others the benefit of the doubt, and take this game very unseriously (after all it IS just a game.) Don't let their poor attitude hurt you, they aren't worth it.
Yeah, wow. Hateful messages? It's a game. Things happen that are beyond your control sometimes. It might be inconvenient to them, but I can't see myself getting so worked up over it to send nastygrams. If the person with the star suddenly goes silent and doesn't reply, you give them whatever you think is a reasonable amount of time (I'm pretty lenient, so it'd be a good 30 minutes for me) and then you quit the team and try again at another time. Avoid the leader that did this, if you feel that it's necessary, but let it end there.
"I wish my life was a non-stop Hollywood movie show,
A fantasy world of celluloid villains and heroes."
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Don't. It's not like you were killing time on a boring Tuesday and thought, "Hmm, I think I'm going to try this narcolepsy thing out." It happens.|
Originally Posted by Evil_Gump
I feel so bad, and so embarrassed...
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Let me put it in perspective. When my mom was dying of cancer, she couldn't control her bowels. And you know what? Even in those last days, she earned my eternal respect as one of the most brave and dignified people I've ever known, and I'd trade everything I own for just a few more minutes with her. Never feel the need to apologize for a medical condition you cannot control. Don't let people who don't know or can't understand your situation get to you.
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Originally Posted by Evil_Gump
...I really felt so bad, that all I could do was slink away and not say a word.
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I agree with the others about how stupid it is to get worked up about something like this. Fortunately, it's a small minority of players, but boy, they do get on my nerves. It sounds like this isn't something that you and seven others planned out a month in advance, and your episode ruined weeks of careful planning and hours of flawless execution. Whatever it was they were doing, they will undoubtedly do again, and worst-case scenario, your absence maybe wasted an hour or two of their time. Best-case scenario, they did fine without your help, and your absence maybe merely delayed their shinies by 10 or 20 minutes.
I wish people would understand the difference between malice and negligence. The former makes me mad; the latter is merely a minor irritation at worst, and as a normal, well-adjusted human being, I usually just suck those things up without saying anything.
We've been saving Paragon City for eight and a half years. It's time to do it one more time.
(If you love this game as much as I do, please read that post.)
Just wanted to chime in that I agree with everyone else in the thread. You didn't intend for it to happen (weren't even expecting it), and the fact that you bothered to post an apology speaks volumes about your character. I'd TF or team with you any time. 
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I suspect that's about the best a hero can do. Otherwise, there are so many people, each with their own quirks, that it would be too stressful to be overly serious. <smile>|
Originally Posted by Evil_Gump
... I would like to think that I am competent at this game heading into my 42nd month. I am the true definition of the casual player: I play to have fun, and I don't usually team or run task forces.
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With respect to silly/rude Tells, I suppose there's another side to the story, in that these people have been "griefed" in the past, and their defensive reaction is to try and make "offenders" have regret. However, that's something for them to work out on their own, to essentially recognize that sometimes there are issues that interfere with one's plans.
Regards,
Johnny
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Originally Posted by Ironblade
Anyone that sent a hateful message is a Grade-A Jerk.
I had someone 'disappear' during a Synapse TF. It was the mission to defeat the Clockwork Lord. Normally, if the leader selects the next mission it will kick any stragglers out of the last mission. In this case, the next mission is a 'talk to' and it can't be done until everyone exits the map. I sent a few tells. No reply. I explained the situation to the rest of the team and told them to take a snack break. We gave the person 10 minutes then I kicked them so we could continue the TF. There was no need for any discourtesy. (I learned later that the person had an emergency with a family member which was addressed in a matter of minutes but caused them to completely forget about the TF. No big deal.) Anyway, if anyone sent me nasty messages in a situation like that, I'd one-star them and attach a player note QUOTING what they said to me so I would later recall exactly why I would not wish to associate with them. |
/AGREED 100% Don't feel bad over something you have no control over. I have been on plenty of teams that had issues come up just like IronBlade described and it was handled the exact same way. In some cases the leader even sent a note to the individual apologizing for kicking them. Those players that sent those "NASTY" tells had no idea what was happening at your home. I personally had one instance where I was sitting at my desk playing COH one night when someone knocked on my door. It was the fire department evacuating our apartment complex and they gave me enough time to grab my daughter and my cat.. No way I had time to run and log off the game. Now fortunately I was soling at the time and the game logged me out eventually anyway. ALSO very fortunately the fire was controlled and an hour later i was back in my own apartment.
The point is when someone suddenly goes AFK no one has a clue as to why. For all those people knew you could have been having a heart attack. You have a medical condition which 99% of the time is controlled so BIG deal after years of good team and solo play that 1% finally caught up with you. If they are more concerned with the short delay in game play than in a team mates health (since they had no idea what caused you to suddenly disappear) then they aren't the type of people you want to play with anyway.Take care
�We�re always the good guys. In D&D, we�re lawful good. In City of Heroes we�re the heroes. In Grand Theft Auto we pay the prostitutes promptly and never hit them with a bat.� � Leonard
�Those women are prostitutes? You said they were raising money for stem cell research!� � Sheldon
Related situation, but somewhat reversed happened to me tonight. I was the leader on one of two teams running a Lambda trial tonight. Midway through, someone in the league asks about why Player X is just hovering by the gate. (We are inside sabotaging by this point.) Another player states, "They're just leaching." (sic) Hmmm.
I check the chat log in case I missed a tell or message saying "brb" or the like; nothing. Wait for the player to respond; nothing. Now, I've never been one to allow a freeloader without asking me first so, without thinking, I booted the alleged "leacher." Most BAF and Lambda runs are pretty fast-paced, so I didn't think much of it and got back to pulling my share after remarking that they were "gone now." In retrospect, I probably should have sent a tell to see what was up, but I didn't want to be accused of sitting around not doing my part either.
Fast forward to the end of the mish, we're fighting Maurauder, and the league leader starts the League-chat inquiry of "Who booted so-and-so?" Really? In the middle of fighting Maurauder, let's stop and get to the bottom of this crisis issue? I just kept on fighting; not a time to take a Nova Punch while in chat. A minute or so later, I get a tell from the booted individual: (something to the effect of) "Hey d-bag! I wasn't leeching, I had something come up with my kids; it was an emergency! You're a bad person who probably doesn't have kids and can't relate." Then the league leader decides to get onto league chat and lecture me on booting people.
Now I'll admit, I acted in haste when I booted said individual and stupidly listened to a sarcastic remark that someone made off-the-cuff. I felt bad for unfairly booting the person. Keep in mind that prior to responding to both the booted individual and the league leader, I had not said anything, much less any name calling. The IRONY of the situation is that both of them were ragging on me for 1) assuming someone's motivations and 2) not sending a PM to see what was going on. Yet, neither extended me the same courtesy that they were insisting on.
Lessons to remember:
1) Chew someone out in front of the league for not handing a matter with someone else privately. Got it. Check.
2) If someone is afk handling an emergency with their kids that is serious enough for them to not annouce "afk," they'll be right there at the keyboard to answer your query about why they are not participating. Got it. Check.
3) Being a team leader does not give you the right to boot people in a league. Especially, if they've been gone for half of a trial and, regardless of excuse, are not contributing. Got it. Check.
4) I am automatically an uncaring d-bag with no kids who can't relate if I don't stop in the middle of a trial to check on you prior to booting you. (Boy, will my kids be sure to be shocked by this revelation. Nice assumption, champ.) Got it. Check.
5) The next time I have any situation around my house while playing, I need not worry about being booted if I do not not give a quick "afk, brb." (sweet) Got it. Check.
6) Most importantly, it's NOT just a game! Got it. Check.
Sounds like you were trying to be a responsive leader by responding to someone's concern, and you made a decision that someone didn't like. This situation illustrates how challenging it can be to organize and lead activities, particularly since it's possible that you're dealing with anywhere from children to young adults to adults with children to retired folk.
Fortunately, those trials are fairly short, so it wouldn't have been as great a loss as having completed most of a task force before getting dropped. Hopefully, you can carry on from the experience, such as it was, and continue to have fun teaming.
Cheers,
Johnny
Thanks for your kind understanding, Johnny. I have to manage conflict and immaturity all day long between stakeholders at work and CoX is my place to chill and be around like-minded folks. The only drama I want to experience here is the storylines.
By and large, though, I think that the Infinity community is an awesome group!
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I was on that league and it certainly didn't improve my opinion of the league leader. I didn't know who they were lecturing and didn't care. I just knew it wasn't a classy move.
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Originally Posted by Yugure01
Then the league leader decides to get onto league chat and lecture me on booting people.
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Paragon City Search And Rescue
The Mentor Project
People get bent out of shape easily. Just smile and nod.
First of all, I don't consider myself a great player, but I would like to think that I am competent at this game heading into my 42nd month. I am the true definition of the casual player: I play to have fun, and I don't usually team or run task forces.
I also have narcolepsy. 99% of the time it is totally under control. So there is no problem. However, I would never "announce" this fact before starting a TF or team, because then people would think "yeah, bail and then claim you were 'out'..."
But, recently in the middle of a TF I had an "incident"... apparently, I fell asleep during the TF. I feel so bad, and so embarrassed... just imagine blinking your eyes, and the next thing you know, two hours have passed.
When I "woke up" -- I had no idea what had just happened. And then, I saw all of the hateful tells and messages. I can't even begin to say how horrible I felt. I consider myself a very good team player, and to see those comments was truly devastating.
So, I apologize to anyone on that team. I know it was only seven people, but I really felt so bad, that all I could do was slink away and not say a word...