The Bad God-Mode Open Roleplay Thread

((I want to see the worst, most horrible RP no-no's (within PG rules, of course) in one great thread. Mary Sue's, all sorts of meta, and god-moding are more than welcome.

Do everything in your power and imagination to screw up the poster before you, with 3 rules: Keep this within Pocket D, try to keep the posts short, and don't RP someone into non-existance so they can continue to participate if they want to. The funnier and more outrageous the better!))

Gehnen walks into Pocket D, wading through the crowd of women who all inevitably beg him to dance. He hand-waves them away to drop 17 million in cash on DJ Zero so he will play "Strawberry Fields Forever".

"Yes sir, Gehnen, sir," says DJ Zero, kowtowing before Gehnen's muscular 8'9" frame. Gehnen dismisses the cowering man by tapping him on the shoulder with his jewel encrusted golden cane.

"Let the party begin!" Gehnen roars, and begins to dance to his favorite Beatles song so well that everyone weeps at the beauty of it.

((I....it....ngh....I can't do it!! D= *runs in terror* ))

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zwillinger GG, I would tell you that "I am killing you with my mind", but I couldn't find an emoticon to properly express my sentiment.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Captain_Photon NOTE: The Incarnate System is basically farming for IOs on a larger scale, and with more obtrusive lore.

Evan Horizon strolls through Pocket D with his normal happy, almost childlike innocence and wonder. His fathomless white eyes widen in surprise as he spots a stray atom in the air that catches his interest for some reason.

Holding it in an immensely complicated but deceptively simple-looking gravitational field between his hands, he bounces, stretches, squishes, and otherwise plays with the sub-microscopic anomaly for a few minutes before being distracted and loosing track of it. Suddenly, he feels a strange sensation in his throat and before he can stop himself... he hiccups.

The end result of which leaves everyone standing on the ceiling of the club, with the colors of their clothes reversed and inexplicably speaking Swahili. Evan claps a hand over his mouth as everyone slowly turns to glare at him. "Sorry! Sorry, ev'rybody!" After a moment of uncomfortable silence, he quickly runs back toward the elevator, accidentally letting slip another hiccup that unceremoniously drops everyone back down to the floor and returns their speech to normal... but now everyone's undergarments are still suspended in space above the ceiling where they'd been standing moments ago, and the Freakshow member trying to hit on a Ring Mistress near the exit is now a penguin dressed as the Monopoly Man. The Ring Mistress has just as inexplicably been replaced with a tapir wearing a tutu.

The Ancient Warrior of Kalderi - Obligo - had finally tracked his immortal and eternal foe to Pocket D.

Inside the extradimensional dance club, Graxus Qu-Xarxes was enjoying the night life of the D - sipping on some other-worldly alcoholic cocktail while toying with a couple of the female dancers that had been stroking the boney fingers of his wings. Life on this "Earth" had been good to the incarnate Graxus, the corporeal form of the Kalderian God Graxis.

That is, until Obligo showed up. "There you are...hiding out within this club. I suspect you feel protected from my blade within this place?" the warrior casually asked of his enemy, both beings over 900 centillion years old, neither of them bound to any known human laws of physics, time, and any other known laws. Obligo drew his blade - an alien katana, which at first glance appears to be forged of Impervium, the strongest known metal to humans. Anyone who had felt its edge would testify against this fact, however - the katana was in fact made of some element completely alien to anyone on this side of the Known Universe.

((Do it, Techbot! Consider it revenge on the n00bles who have tried to legitimately do it. Do something outrageously stupid for the lulz. I do agree it can be a little cringe-worthy as you will soon see.))

...except Gehnen who realized Obligo's sword was Rayelian Chocolate. In a flash of light and pleasant man-scent, Gehnen takes a huge bite of Obligo's sword. The Rayelian Chocolate imbues Gehen with super-stretching ability. He quickly retrieves his underpants, punching through the ceiling using his new power. He then spikes them into the ground like a football.

The underpants explode in a cloud of pink smoke, and as the smoke fades everyone is in awe when they finally realize what appears.

I walk in and pull out my robe and wizard hat. Then proceed to overpower Obligo,Evan Horizon with my little finger because they're weak as hell and have my way with them.

I then bust out some phat rhythms and walk out with some fly *******. And pimp slap Gehnen on my way out cos I feels like it.


Holla back

((LOL...Oh wow. This is so much better than I had hoped!))

With Herculian effort, Gehnen...passes...the alien metal and temporal anomoly at the same time, thus releasing him from his trap. The anomoly grows weaker as well. His wounds immediately heal through the power of love that the entire world has for him.

Shrugging off the weakest pimp-slap the world has ever seen (as marked by the Guiness Book of World Records judge that happened to be present), Gehnen joins in the zombiehead soccer match and wins. Obligo promises to be best friends with Gehnen forever, and gives him the ever-sharp sword to prove it.

But I wasn't done, I pull out my ever lasting 12 inch wand and beat Gehenne oh the head with it, stunning him with the length, girth and hardness. Me and my bro Graxus (GGGGGGG-UNIT) then DDTs Obligo through a table, which causes him to scream like 12 year old girl.

By then all the girls left and this was a total sausage fest, so I grab a chair and break it over Evan Horizon's head, then conjure up some Hot Pockets and eat them while sippin a 40

After being DDT'd through the table by his nemesis and Graxus' newfound friend Dz, Obligo stands up, a weird glow flowing over his body, healing any and all damage done.

Contrary to what Gehnen believes, Obligo does not befriend the strange, deific being and doesn't hand the being his sword. He simply shrugs, sheaths his sword and goes about playing zombiehead soccer before returning to Paragon City.

Graxus, meanwhile pops open his own 40 ounce, cheering Dz on before the girls leave. After the women depart, Graxus summons up a few succubi to keep them all entertained.

They readily do so, dancing around all the men, their near nude forms glistening in the lights of the club.

Dr. Mechan happens to stroll into the club at this time, followed by six robots. He dropped his shields upon entering Pocket D, 'cause he doesn't need to worry about powers in here. Seeing the zombiehead soccer match, he commands his robots to participate, as the drones stumble forward, one of them falling flat on their optic sensors in its attempt to kick one of the heads. The biggest robot plays goalie - scorching however many zombieheads are kicked his way to ashes.

Marian Sussanna then stepped into the D, her amazing and unique powers of being able to see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Believe its Not Butter unaffected by the normal protections of Pocket D.
((Did I step over the "Just god modding" line?))

Quote:

Originally Posted by Samuel_Tow City of Heroes is a game about freedom of expression and variety of experiences far more so than it is about representing any one theme, topic or genre.

One of the most powerful beings in the multiverse, although he'd be the first to explain to you in exhaustive detail why he wasn't, Doubting Zack, was sitting in a diner in King's Row. It was lunch and he loved the BLTs they made in this greasy spoon. Reading the paper, he shook his head over the gossip column and celebrity stories. There was apparently a new bout of so-called superhero shenanigans over at a dance club that he could never find called Pocket D.

He snorted and thought, "Hm. I oughta go over there and explain to these idiots why their powers can't possibly work the way they think and why it just isn't possible for a discotheque to exist outside the universe."

Because you see, that was Doubting Zack's only power: He could explain away the superhuman talents of others.

Using the rigor of modern science and good old fashioned horse sense, Zack could cause Statesmen to bust a triple hernia before he lifted and threw his first car. Heat vision would die stillborn in Zack's presence. Heroes would plummet from the sky. Gods would simply vanish in a puff of logic. Wizards and thaumaturges would find their magic fled. Mind readers would draw a blank. Mechas, suits of powered armor and rampaging robots all had to be based on rock solid engineering--no handwavium about repulsor rays or arc reactors--or they'd freeze solid just as Zack looked them.

All the other supers just stayed the hell away from Zack. Zack was bad news. Just a brief exposure to Zack, or worse, one of his long winded lectures about the energy density of batteries or principles of leverage, was enough to deprive a hero of his or her powers for weeks and months afterward. These would be weeks filled with self-doubt and depression of a world gone gray, a world without magic.

Zack, the self-righteous, know-it-all, jerk, loved it.

So today, Zack thought he'd go set things straight down at Pocket D. Zack had heard about Pocket D for years. He heard that was where the elites went to party. But he was never able to find it. People would point him to the entrances but when he walked over to them, all he'd find were empty moving vans or blank, graffiti covered walls.

At the time, he thought people were just playing jokes on him. True believers don't like it when you smash their heroes. People don't want to have both barrels of reality. Zack thought the other citizens of Paragon mostly hated him and wanted to play jokes on him. And he was cool with that because within the limits of his vision, he was king. The rules of science where on his side.

But now this stuff was cluttering his daily read of the newspaper so, Zack decided to set things straight. And as the powers that be would have it, today was the day, after years of searching, Zack finally found the entrance to Pocket D.

He walked up to the back of the moving van and drew back the heavy latches on the doors. He opened the doors and, in the brightness of the day, saw the mostly dark and empty interior. It looked empty. Was this another dead end like all the rest?

Irritation and persistence drove him to actually enter the van. Stepping up and inside, he felt the gravity shift in ways that he knew couldn't be possible. Darkness fell upon him and the sounds of the street faded away. He tried to turn around and found that the entrance had vanished. He was now in total darkness and complete silence.

Suddenly he became aware of sharp pains in all his joints and a painful rending sensation all over his body. He exhaled and found that he couldn't breath in again. It was as if the air had vanished. His eardrums lanced hot needles of pain into his skull and his eyes wicked into a horrible dryness that make it difficult to move his eyelids.

He then realized he was in a floating a black infinite vacuum and he was doomed to asphyxiate as his body underwent slow, steady and painful embolism.

"For you see, we don't like killjoys," an impossible mental voice that he knew was not his own sounded in his mind, not that he was paying it any attention in the last terror and pain filled moments of his life.

((And thus the thread was saved from any more silly attempts to justify the existence of Doubting Zack.))

Then the Hatesman_EU walked in exclaimed "Ur DoIn It R0Ng", promptly sneezed and the world blew up in an chronomatic quantum atomic particle implosion-explosion that tore reality into pieces and stuck it back together again in such a way that every atom in existance then simultaneously exploded in a nuclear firestorm, rippling back through time so that the big bang was snuffed out and existence never existed.

This included Pocket D.

unforunatnly for Hatesman_EU he was full of phail, and his weak *** sneeze not only was stopped by Dz just by looking in his direction but also the force of the sneeze was shot back to Hatesman_EU, which blew him and the universe up.
But in a split seconds Dz remade the universe back with his magic powers, rolled time back to before Hatesman_EU sneezed, and Stone Cold Stunnered him.

This display of power amazed Doubting Zack so much the only thing he could say was "BAH GAWD KING,STONE COLD STUNNER STONE COLD STUNNER!!! WHERE'S MAH HAT?! !"

(Just had to stop in and say this is effing brilliant.)

((*Ngh* >.<


OW!!




I tried to do it but I think I pulled something D=))

Mansuper arrived in Pocket D, strutting his stuff. His pimp cape never once touched the ground as Statesman held in up after losing an arm wrestling competition. Mansuper made his way to the main dance floor, an infinite 70s boogie woogie guitar grove playing to herald him. He arrived and with one wave of his pimp cane made foam fill the room and everyone suddenly be wearing swim wear. He also made Doubting Zack suddenly be wearing a gimp mask.