Kill the User Above You (With The Gift They Just Gave You)

Thank you. I poked your eye out with the earpiece.

Here, have my cell phone.

Thanks! Bite the Turntable! I shoved your head in through the door, slammed the door on your neck and stood on it till your neck snapped

Here User Below Me, have a chainsaw.

This one is too easy, so was gonna let someone else have it, but...

Thanks for the chainsaw Shadow, I fire 'er up and split ya open from the top of the head, down. Now who's gonna pay for my dry cleaning? Waaayyy too much blood.

Hey! I know!

Here, person below me, have this used spandex superhero outfit, stained with Shadow Ravenwolf's blood! (And trust me, I definitely have surface area larger than a quarter)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frosty_Femme I said "ur" which is not a word. It's a sound dumb people make when you ask them to spell out "you are".

Thanks! Shadow tightly binds your wrists and ankles with the spandex, stretching it till it recoils back really tight and then crams the rest down your throat to slowly suffocate you while.

Gives person below me a 12 oz. can of Mountain Dew.

I broke the tab off of the can and put it in the pop, you began to guzzle it and choked on it. It also tore your throat open.

Here poster below me take my umbrella!

I stab early with the point of the umbrella.(even if it's dull. )

Here poster below me, have a plastic statesman doll.

Thanks! Shadow proceeds to Grab doll and make a fist and performs a colonoscopy on you with the Statesman doll, puncturing and ripping your innards until you bleed internally to death.

Thanks for nothing. Have fun staying in the midst of it for eternity, suffocating from the lack of air.

Here, user below. Please accept my humble offering of a wet sponge.

Thanks. I apologize for leaving you to hang me out in the nothingness, so let me make it up to you by ringing out the sponge enough so that I can force it down your throat, chocking yet another victim to death.

To the person below me, I leave a fifty-cent piece, sizeably larger than the quarter you'll need to call someone who cares about how stupid I was for neglecting such details in my haste to kill people with gifts.

It's also large enough that if I teleport it into your heart, your death is certain to be very interesting, and the autopsy the stuff of legend.

*piff* Enjoy your heart attack.

As for this person below me, I shall be generous and supply them with a 4x4 pickup truck.

Thanks! Shadow drags Korith over rocky terrain, asphalt, through water, mud, and the ladies restroom at the local Wal*Mart before running over.


Shadow leaves a pile of marshmallows on the table for the next person.

Thanks! I'll just cram all those marshmallows down your throat! At least the last thing you taste will be fluffy white goodness.

Here, next person. Have my Wii. I will not need it after you kill me with it.

Thanks! Shadow strangles Cursedsorcerer with the cord.

Shadow drops Howler off in thread for the next person to have fun with.

The Howler implodes your eardrums with its deafening noise before hanging you with its tail

Here's a ream of paper

*folds paper and begins to apply thousands of papercuts until I get bored and slice your throat*

Thanks for nothing, now you choke to death on your own Stupidity!

Here! Take this Paper Towel Roll.

Thank you. Let me cram that down your throat!

Here, you can have a cheeseburger.

Death has never been so good to you. *sniff*/em tearwipe >death by cheezburger

Here's a giant candy cane, poster below me.

I will sharpen the one end of the candy cane to a point then stab you with it.

Here's a suit of medieval chain mail.

Oh Sweet!

Ill put you in the suit of chain mail, and push you in to the 12 foot end of a swiming pool when its over 100 off with the decoy of "Let me help you cool off in that suit of armor". That way you get nice and cool, while also Drowning to death.


Here Person Below me, Have a Fluffy Bunny Plushy Toy.

I animate the fluffy bunny toy, and it promptly bites your jugular and enjoys your tasty blood.

Here, have a fireworks set.

I carefully insert the fireworks into your body at various locations so that the coming explosions burst all of your major arterial pathways and you bleed out in seconds.


I give TPBM a box of broken G1 Transformers

I show you the value of each of the toys worth today, and you promptly die.


Here's a Food Processor.