Quote:
Easy going/inexperienced/too trusting VG leader.|
Originally Posted by Flea_Mark_Evil
Honest to god question....
How has a person like this gotten into a situation where they can spend your VG's prestige? |
(Which isn't meant as an insult Shikraria - just a learning experience the hard way :/ )
Like Underworld? Then take a look at! http://moonid.net/account/recruitmen.../monstersgame/
And don't forget to join the fight for our City! http://www.cohtitan.com/forum/index....ard,134.0.html
Quote:
Why are you posting this publicly?|
Originally Posted by shikraria
Okay, I did kick that character. I know many of you don't approve of me 'whining' on here, but now to let you understand what I go through, this character made another account and got back into the VG. I figured it out only minutes after she joined. Everything about this character didn't add up. She said she had only been playing the game for 2 days and knew nothing and needed a VG to show her the ropes of the game...Need examples? Well, I am insulted with my intelligence. So, still think I'm whining?
|
Weirdo.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Smersh
Be a dictator. Trust me.
If you're the leader, the buck stops with you. Be right or be wrong, but one thing you should never be seen to be is unsure. |
It's against the forum rules for me to say that "Smersh = Stalin". So I won't.
I already told everyone, I am here for advise. If you don't approve of what I am saying or how I am posting, please don't post in here =) That problem is solved. She has been dealt with, so my problems are solved. Thank you for advise, and 'constructive critism'...Now I will do what I do best...
Quote:
My advice is to not start external threads about internal drama.
|
Originally Posted by shikraria
I already told everyone, I am here for advise. If you don't approve of what I am saying or how I am posting, please don't post in here =) That problem is solved. She has been dealt with, so my problems are solved. Thank you for advise, and 'constructive critism'...Now I will do what I do best...
|
A few things
1) Staging an SG wide intervention was inappropriate, it would have been better if you had talked to people and then talked to her in private
2)When asking for help it's really great to be concise, for instance you could have said
"I'm having trouble with a guild member, s/he alienates fellow members and doesn't participate constructively in group life. I would have kicked this person but I didn't think it was fair of me to do so. I staged a group intervention and gave this individual a warning, shape up or you're out. Did I do ok? Any thoughts, advice, criticisms?"
3) It's not enough to not name names don't talk about what happened, people don't need all the details of this person's behavior or history to give advice.
4)Thanking people for advice is good but you didn't need to keep us updated on the status of that person
5)It's ok to ask others for advice, don't get offended when people are harsh or acerbic. Tokyo was right when s/he told you that it was not cool to stage an SG wide intervention and was right to warn you about embarassing others on the forums.
6) Take all advice with a grain of salt and remember that ultimately you're the one who has to live with the consequences of your actions so when you make decisions think: is it something you may regret in the future? how would you feel if somebody did this to you?
I don't think there are any hard and fast right answers, I think you could have handled things better but that you did ok given the circumstances.
Hmmm, I did right. She only got better to stay in group and as soon as she was 'safe' I kicked her and had to iggy her because she became a troll. I believe Toyko was wrong because she started off as a high ranked officer and me and all my other high ranked officers held a SG intervention. I DID privately talk to her in tells. I even made a private chat box, So I did everything in MY power to help her. Like I said before, sometimes embarassing someone makes them realize how they are or behaving. Its not like I had every single member get on and yell at her, just my top dogs. They do actually have a say in my SG, I don't know how other SGs work, but there is a bit of democracy in mine. And I held this intervention because these people had problems with her and instead of ******** to me or yelling at me because I couldn't control her, I held a High Ranked meeting and had everyone, including her, lay out their problems.
Yes, when I started this thread, I was not tactful at how to ask for advise. I was aggervated and wasn't thinking. Thank you for the construcive critism, sometimes that is needed.
In all matters concerning your group, whether it be Villain or Hero, you must follow your heart. If you feel her actions are detrimental to what you are striving to build, she must go. If you are uncomfortable in any way, she must go. Above all things, your group comes first. Nurture it. Love it. Protect it.
I do agree that you should have dealt with this person in a much more private fashion as this will just add more drama to the situation. Still, this issue bothered you enough to bring it to the forums.
This is a game. When one person (or more) stresses you out to the point that it carries over when you log out, then you need to address that. Ignore them, avoid them, and/or simply live and let live. When it stops being fun, it's time to move on or suss out the reasons it's not fun anymore and fix the issue.
SGs/VGs can be a lot of fun and very rewarding for everyone involved or they can be a big boiling pot of stress, drama, and misery. As the leader, you set that tone. Groups can only have one person who carries the ultimate decisions. As Al Swearengen said, "In life you have to do a lot of things you don't want to do. Many times, that's what life is... one vile task after another."
You can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs.
Honest to god question....
How has a person like this gotten into a situation where they can spend your VG's prestige?
Now! This is it! Now is the time to choose! Die and be free of pain or live and fight your sorrow! Now is the time to shape your stories! Your fate is in your hands!