oh, come come. nothing?
Paragraph breaks are your friends.
I'm not seeing anything really stellar in there. Basic early 90s mainstream cyberpunk type stuff. Maybe in action it'd be more interesting, if you can make some good chained goals or unfold the mystery through clues; getting it all dumped in a single forum post doesn't have the same effect.
Global @Twoflower / MA Creator & Pro Indie Game Developer.
Mission Architect Works: DIY Laser Moonbase (Dev Choice!), An Internship in the Fine Art of Revenge (2009 MA Award Winner!) and many more! Plus Brand New Arcs for Issue 21!
Also, Crey AI experiment stories have been done in canon. This sounds suspiciously similar to the Doctor's Ally badge story. That's not saying you can't do the story, but you should take the existing work into account somehow.
And for a while things were cold,
They were scared down in their holes
The forest that once was green
Was colored black by those killing machines
Story sounds fine. It's the implementation that is tricky.
I'm still waiting to see the Secret Cow Level. Bovine Paragon under attack by "Bullies". Come on you know someone has to do this. 
----------------------------
You can't please everyone, so lets concentrate on me.
Here's the plot for the next MA arc I want to make.
Someone gives you a box.
That's it, that's the whole plot, right there.
Wait. I forgot something.
It's a CARDBOARD box.
Cardboard. Think about it.
Freakin' awesome, in't it?
I don't think of arcs based on the plot of the arc really. I plan missions and build an arc around them.
The plot of the arc just holds it together - the missions have to be fun to actually play.
So I am thinking of redoing Positron TF - totally redoing it.
CoT wants to destroy Faultline Dam.
So a mission where you have to ask the Clockwork King for help. Use the CK map. At the entrance is Penelope Yin, she will help you because Faultline is her home. You need to go with her to see the CK in person.
Penelope is non-combat - the CK will not attack her. But they will attack you. So you encounter ambushes that say "go back Penelope, I don't want to hurt you". In the end you find the CK who is an ally - when you defeat his minions he doesn't fight. He agrees to help you for Penelope's sake.
I need some more encounters for the map though. More ways to stop you and try to persuade Penelope to leave.
Then in a later mission you will have clockwork allies against the CoT.
[ QUOTE ]
oh, come come. nothing?
[/ QUOTE ]
Most creative types aren't going to want to dump their half-formed/unfinished/unrealized ideas out into the public eye like this, especially since there's been some plagiarism going around.
Dec out.
[ QUOTE ]
there's been some plagiarism going around.
[/ QUOTE ]
There has? How could you even tell? There are thousands of arcs up right now - some duplication of ideas is inevitable.
And for a while things were cold,
They were scared down in their holes
The forest that once was green
Was colored black by those killing machines
An SG mate of mine has someone copy almost identically everything in his mission, including coming very close to the exact title (which was dumb, as that's how he found it). Like cockroaches, if I'm seeing one, there's likely more out there.
Dec out.
Okay, I am surprised that there isn't already one of these.
does anyone have any story ideas that they've been kicking around, but haven't actually made yet? post them here for peer review, plot polishing, and the like.
Circuit Breaker
a genius hacker steals computerized access codes from longbow, and when you are called in to follow the trail, you discover a cult of hackers following someone called Fathom. with additional files stolen off of their computers, you may have their base location, but the only person who could verify it for certain has just been captured by the Fathom Hackers. when you rescue him, however, he falsely says that there are more prisoners further into the mission sending you headlong into a trap with the massive, armored Cooling fan. he's a traitor, and the heroes manage to stop him from escaping police custody, at which point he tells you the entire, chilling truth: Fathom is a malevolent, artificial intelligence, the work of Crey that went a little too far ahead of the curve and escaped into the sewers some years ago. Fathom reached out to the computer community and assembled an army of hackers, hardware enthusiasts, and social pariahs in order to do the manuel labor in his plot to take over the world through the military installations of every country. with this information, you are able to pinpoint an abandoned section of the sewer that is still getting a power drain, and manage to shut down the three main Fathom terminals. at which point Fathom downloads itself into a robotic avatar in order to defeat you, initiating a last ditch emergency escape when defeat looks imminent, leaving his plan in shambles. in an undisclosed location, fathom plots his next attempt - and more importantly, his revenge.
what'cha think?