anyone good at writing dialog? I could use help
By
BadJuJu,
Posted on: 2009-04-18 16:55 in Mission Architect
I wouldn't mind taking a crack at it. Post some dialogue and we'll see what we can come up with.
If you absolutely MUST, you can PM me instead, but I'd prefer to work in an open environment - you'll have more material to choose from that way.
(Though I wouldn't mind being credited if you use some of my dialogue 
)
okay, mission 1
the situation should be clear in the text. Note that the contact is telling the truth - this is not a setup. My main issue is that it doesn't sound like a voodoo priestess. It sounds like introductory text. I want her to have style. She is the Hequat contact from the Arachnos (she looks awesome).
ContactIntro
Be not afraid $name. I am Bone Caster, a hougan of the religion you call Voodoo.
As a hougan I use my magic power for good. Just as you use $origin. But I have come to Paragon City to track down a powerful bocor named Grave Dancer. He uses the power of Voodoo for evil.
He has aligned himself with a cult in this city called the Skulls. He has initiated many of the Skulls into the power of Voodoo.
The Skulls have unleashed a pack of ghouls onto the streets to capture innocents to turn into zombies. You must go save them.
ContactSendOff
My prayers go with you. Believe in yourself and you will not fail.
Not that it really matters, but houngan is a male voodoo priest - a female would be a mambo.
thanks - I'm trying to be accurate. Mambo.
any sites you can point to with better info? Most sites are hoodoo.
There are few things LESS fun than overly accurate representations of things in a pulp setting. Since you're trying to make a horror story, you might consider stepping FAR away from real voodoo and working the pulp angle.
What does the average person think about when they think "Voodoo"? Dolls with pins in them, zombies, skull masks, and haiti. Run with that, because that's what pulp is about.
So my advice is to have her simply say she's a voodoo priestess (full stop). People can relate to that without any specialized knowledge, and adding words they typically don't know (houngan, mombo, bocor, etc) doesn't really enhance the experience, nor will they retain any of it past the end of the mission.
well it is about skull masks and zombies.
I want a smattering of real terms to add flavor. I am not planning on real voodoo.
FOR THE LOVE OF AJAX, WILL SOMEONE ADD THEIR IDEAS TO THIS POSTING ZONE?!?!
Sebastian Dash and I have been back and forth-ing for weeks now on the story behind the Maxi-event we are trying to put together with a large number of people, the Third Rikti War, but even though I keep suggesting things, he keeps shooting them down. WE NEED FRESH VOICES! PLEASE< EVEN IF YOU DON"T ACTUALLY RESPOND, TAKE A LOOK IN CASE YOU DO HAVE AN IDEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://z11.invisionfree.com/AiL/inde...c=198&st=0
From his burning orbital Hurricane machine 6500 feet or less above the U.S.
Doctor Paradox.
(You may have heard of me in assorted places.)
(and yes, I am good at dialog.
Fear me not, $name! I am Bone Caster, a Hougan of Voodoo, and I bring with me grave news for all of the world - both metaphorically and literally.
I have been tracking another master of Voodoo called Grave Dancer, a Bocor who seeks naught but to increase his power and (insert longtermagenda here), and the trail has lead me here into Paragon City, where I have found that he has allied himself with the death cult you call "Skulls," with whom he has unleashed a terrible evil.
From the deepest secrets of both magics, Grave Dancer has created an army of the dead, risen from the grave to expand his dark purpose, roaming the streets of Paragon in search of victims to join their ranks, mindless slaves until the end of time.
Unless you turn the ghouls back, they will swallow the earth and undo all of the good that I, and every being on this planet, have created.
Tell me what you think, and E-mail me at Whipslinger@gmail.com)
Wow, I really like that. I think I'm going to use it.
As a variation, I always picture the Voodoo Priestess as coming from a point of view so far beyond anything and lowering herself to share it. The excercise of power is as much from magic as it is from personal command. In that vein (thinkin Cajunesque):
Hah, $name, so you what the spirits challenge me to use?
Fear is fine, hon, I am as you suspect. You no meet a more mighty mambo. *snap*
But listen well now, you no hero, you no see what lies before that nose. We no talkin' some hookie $origin work. You do good there, I do good here with'un the voodoo, yessee?
Now a bocor he no do good. One, Grave Dancer, dun shove voodoo's face in da mud. Yessee? Him and his pathetic Skulls with them's ghouls out taken folk to make them some zombies.
You fix that, yessee?
ContactSendOff:
You no dawdlin' on me, don't make me spirits wrong, yessee?
thaks, Dug. and also thanks for checking out the message board. see new forum thread on the third Rikti War!
Heh, I'm with you on the dialogue, Crazy. When I think Voodoo Priestess I think Minerva from Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil who has a heavy accent and periodically breaks conversation to scold nearby skulls for giving her the evil eye.
[ QUOTE ]
okay, mission 1
the situation should be clear in the text. Note that the contact is telling the truth - this is not a setup. My main issue is that it doesn't sound like a voodoo priestess. It sounds like introductory text. I want her to have style. She is the Hequat contact from the Arachnos (she looks awesome).
ContactIntro
Be not afraid $name. I am Bone Caster, a hougan of the religion you call Voodoo.
As a hougan I use my magic power for good. Just as you use $origin. But I have come to Paragon City to track down a powerful bocor named Grave Dancer. He uses the power of Voodoo for evil.
He has aligned himself with a cult in this city called the Skulls. He has initiated many of the Skulls into the power of Voodoo.
The Skulls have unleashed a pack of ghouls onto the streets to capture innocents to turn into zombies. You must go save them.
ContactSendOff
My prayers go with you. Believe in yourself and you will not fail.
[/ QUOTE ]
Just be aware that if you use $origin it will "fit" sometimes - Magic, Technology, Science...but Natural and Mutant won't sound right at all, unless you do something like add the words around it, like "your $origin abilities" That makes tech and science sound a little off, but still works for them I think and fits the others fine.
what is "midnight in the garden of good and evil?" Some movie? and also, if anyone else would like help with dialog, contacts, or clues, I'm pretty good at that sort of thing. a story is nothing if the words are wooden.
From his orbital heat ray 7000 miles above Portland, OR.
Doctor Paradox
[ QUOTE ]
I am finishing up my arc. I have the story, missions, etc.
But my text is a bit flat. I just don't have the knack for the dialog. I'm trying to do horror and need my contact to speak like a voodoo priestess, some evil sorceror chants, and I want horror style shock and fear in my rescue victims.
Anyone good at dialog want to help punch up my text?
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Try this.... close your eyes, picture the character in your mind. What do they say? If they speak with an accent, then you can try adjusting the spelling a bit to convey the accent.
"wha do ya mean ya got no idea? Who you tink you be talkin' too boy?"
Arc ID#30821, A Clean Break
The only problem with defeating the Tsoo is that an hour later, you want to defeat them again!
"Life is just better boosted!" -- LadyMage
"I'm a big believer in Personal Force Field on a blaster. ... It's your happy place." -- Fulmens
[ QUOTE ]
what is "midnight in the garden of good and evil?" Some movie?
[/ QUOTE ]
It was, but it was a book before that: And it was Excellent!
thanks, I'll have to check that out!
I am finishing up my arc. I have the story, missions, etc.
But my text is a bit flat. I just don't have the knack for the dialog. I'm trying to do horror and need my contact to speak like a voodoo priestess, some evil sorceror chants, and I want horror style shock and fear in my rescue victims.
Anyone good at dialog want to help punch up my text?