Advanced Trolling Techniques: A Guide

Note: I tried (really!) to get this all done in one big post.

Sadly, it's just too big of a project to do all at once.

Rather than wait week after week without posting anything, I'll release this Magum Op/Ed in stages.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Prelude: What, Me Troll? A Seven-Step Program.

Trolling is both a science and an art. It takes both skill and intuition to properly post for the best results.

But before we get into advanced techniques, we should discuss just what trolling is, to be clear. Trolling is the process of posting for maximum response.

I'm not talking about random flaming, or name calling, or thread-jacking. They all have their (warm) place, but that's not trolling, that's merely posting without manners. Any Troll can do that, but not everyone has what it takes to be a good Troll. I can't tell you what art is, but I can show it to you, and describe some techniques to maximize the abilities you already have.

Step 0: Making a (black) Mark.

Yes, there is a step zero. Stop and think... before you start to post, and build up a large reputation based on your name, the first thing you need is a good, solid, Forum handle. Don't be uncreative (like me); pick something really memorable.

Funny is good, strange is better, both at once is best. Don't use your Toon name, or your Account login, unless that toon name is really nice (I could have been "Captain Innuendo", "My Hero, Zero" or "The Flaming Excremental"...on second thought, maybe not).

Don't forget your Avatar. It doesn't need to be high art, or animated, but it needs to be something that is very different from everyone else out there.

I don't need to see Pilcrow's name, or Stupid Fanboy's. The whole "dancing <censored!> / Mary Poppins" thing sticks out. SF's "White Flag" sticks out. Mine involves the irony of a "great" person that made his Avatar in MS Paint ...and it shows. No one has ever gotten the joke, but it's there.

Step 1: Flame Wars are Something Other People Start...And You Don't Finish.

Let's hit the burning ground running and talk about Flaming, and why it doesn't work for you.

Firstly, random, misdirected (or undirected) Flaming gets the thread locked. Nothing kills a thread faster than a hard lock, and if there's anything a Troll DOESN'T do, it's "suicide by Mod".

Secondly, indiscriminate burning is a quick way to be labeled a "Troll", and, once you're labeled, it becomes impossible to affect the discussion in a meaningful way. Ironically, no good Troll will do this, and, in fact, most of the time the label is applied to people who don't deserve it. While the irony is delicious, don't eat too much or you'll get some on you.

In any event, avoid negative labels at all costs. The best way to view your forum reputation is as a piggy bank, which you build up by appearing smart and reasonable, and spend by using Stupid Forum Tricks. Everyone loves SFTs, so building up a modicum of street cred is a major goal.

Lastly, flaming gets people distracted from the direction that you are trying to take the thead. In the larger goal of "generate discussion by any means necessary", it's easy to forget that flames aren' t just useless - they are a net negative. Nothing gets talked about other than the flames, and that's not good for our (or any) purposes.

Step 2: Making an Argument One-Sided.

This is a critical skill, and will come to guide every post you make, as your understanding of it increases. One simple truth of Internet discussion boards is that wherever there is an argument, there is two (or more) people talking about different things. Since the discussion is actually about very close (but different) topics, nothing meaningful can be said.

What am I talking about, exactly? It's easier to show than tell. Let's pretend that there is a discussion about Special ED going on, and two people are going at it...or so they think.

Poster 1: I don't like Enhancement Depreciation because all my toons are gimpy and it's not fun. I've tried testing it and I didn't like it one bit. Why, oh why, is this happening to me? Did I run over State's dog when I wasn't looking?

Poster 2: There's plenty of fun in the game. Why can't you find it any more like I can? I was on Test, and my Grav/Empathy/Presence Pool Controller works better than ever! Go 13% END reduction!

Poster 1: Er, it's great that you're having fun, but that doesn't help me. I can't understand why Hurdle needs to get nerfed! Do I need to respec into the Leaping pool just to get some jump speed?!

Poster 2: You're some kind of power-gamer. Obviously you're only upset because your perma-Hastened, Stamina-abusing self is worried that you can't 6-slot HO-HO's per power any more.

As you can clearly see, although they are responding to each other, and building their arguments as they go, neither one will make the slightest headway. Poster 1 is talking about how his "relative fun level" is going down, and Poster 2 is talking about "the evils of power-gaming". Not only are they not listening to each other (that's normal), they aren't really even on the same topic.

This observation can be turned into both defensive and offensive tactics. I'll discuss offensive tactics first, since they are more fun.

Firstly, once you understand that two people are just not on the same topic, you can helpfully point this out, and help them to understand that they aren't getting anywhere. Trolls, after all, are good samaritans. Using the above example, the following might be appropriate:

Great Scott: Poster 2, I wasn't aware that Poster 1 has posted his level 50 build. I think it might be a good idea to consider that he's having less fun with his movement powers. We really need to make sure that travel powers don't get affected by ED. Maybe a base movement speed buff? Also, Poster 1, have you considered dropping the Stamina pool and going with Speed? You'd have to take Hasten, but SuperSpeed is much less affected by ED, and you would save some slots, too.

Let's examine my post in response to Poster 2.

Superficially, it gives both posters good feedback, offers a good way to improve the game (ED not affecting Travel Powers), and gives Poster 1 valuable "build" advice. Realistically, this will both spark discussion, and absolutely infuriate both posters.

Poster 1, if he actually takes my (good) advice, will notice his horrid and inept attempts at inter-zone travel as he learns the "joys" of no vertical movement whatsoever. Not only that, but he's used to leaping everywhere and will notice this problem more than most. I'm implying that Poster 1 will have to respec into Hasten, and I've also intentionally misnamed the Fitness pool; just in case Poster 2 missed that he has Stamina. I'm also implying that Poster 2 is the person arguing the wrong topic ("might be a good idea to consider").

Just as a bonus, I'm also reminding Poster 1 that he will save slots, when I'm guessing he has no real need for them anyway - he's at least 4-slotting Hurdle if he's complaining about ED.

The net effect is that I've confirmed all Poster 2's fears about Poster 1's build, and I've given Poster 1 good advice that he won't want to take, and also illustrates his problem perfectly at the same time. It would be a minor miracle if neither poster responded. Far more likely my reply would spark a sprited debate about how/whether Travel powers should be affected by Special ED. Pure Trolling, completely non-obvious.

Secondly, once you see the subtle subject differences, you can guide the thread along the path you wish it to go without threadjacking. In fact, you can stay competely on-topic. After all, thread-jacking is a bad, troll-y thing that other people do. See the following response for reference:

Great Scott: Poster 2, I'm not sure that we should be straying onto the topic of whether power-gaming is ruining the game. We should stick with how ED affects recharge times, and power sets as a whole. My Pure Empath, for example, is having trouble keeping big teams alive under ED; heck, I think I have 6 powers with Recharge SO's 6-slotted. I just don't think that ED is a net positive. I might have to /respec into Stamina, since my auras won't be up as often. Maybe I'll get the Medicine pool?

Superficially, this post illustrates a major problem, and helps bring the thread back on-topic. No hyperbole or misinformation here. Realistically, we've already established that Poster 2 is a anti-powergaming reactionary, so this whole post is one giant red flag and Poster 2 is the bull. Let's check all the Blatant Assumptions in this post - it's like an overstuffed burrito from Hell.

1. I've got Hasten.
2. I don't have any powers that aren't 6-slotted with the same enhancement.
3. I'm going to be getting Stamina.
4. I'm trying to continue being "overpowered", even after ED.
5. I'm specifically mentioning Recharge times, since Poster 2 is a Hasten-Hater.
6. I must be some kind of Min/Maxxer...An Empath worried about the Medicine pool?

As a special bonus, I've mentioned that I'm a "Pure Healer", that's always a hot button for someone. My post, while being on-topic, and reminding everyone to stay on-topic, has utterly derailed the thread. All cars crashed, no survivors.

Use this information sparingly, and with caution. After all, a post that has degenerated into pure chaos isn't useful for anything.

Defensive tactics involve what I call the "Retcon". Since these are a comic-book game forums, we might as well use comic-book terms, right? The Retcon involves looking for inconsistancies or not-on-topic items in your own previous posts, and pointing them out retroactively. After all, you didn't really mean what you said - you just weren't clear. Let's see this technique used with the above example:

Great Scott: Poster 2, I'm not sure that we should be straying on to the topic of whether power-gaming is ruining the game. We should stick with how ED affects recharge times, and power sets as a whole. My Pure Empath, for example, is having trouble keeping big teams alive under ED; heck, I think I have 6 powers with Recharge SO's 6-slotted. I just don't think that ED is a net positive. I might have to /respec into Stamina, since my auras won't be up as often. Maybe I'll get the Medicine pool?

Poster 2: G-S, you're full of B-S. Any Empath worth his beans knows to slot ACTUAL IMPROVEMENTS in his powers, not +Recharge. If you were actually slotting Heals or Recovery in your Auras you'd not only be a better Defender, you'd not be affected by ED at all, as well. Get back to me when you have a clue...Medicine pool? What the heck?!

Great Scott: Poster 2, my build isn't really a good example of a common Hero theme - I'm thinking about the Medicine pool because this is a Tech hero, and the animation fits my character. I wasn't discussing build options, really - I'm talking about how long recharge powers weren't altered to reflect the effective Hasten nerf... especially considering that many recharge times were altered for Heroes with perma-Hasten.

Superficially, my post makes sense - I was talking about ED, not my Empath. The Medicine pool defense was a little weak, but I didn't have much to work with there - it's tough to defend statements custom-designed to get commentary from other posters.

Realistically, not only have I deflected criticism about my post, I've moved Poster 2 on to new, enticing targets. My comment about Perma-Hasten causing powers to be indirectly nerfed (this is a common misconception) will open new vistas of discussion; my "inability to play an Empath" will be completely forgotten.

I could, of course, have gone on the offensive and pointed out that I've played 67 levels of Empaths (2 Heroes), and...oh jeez... 220 levels of Defenders (scaring myself), but that would be worse then useless. Assuming that Poster 2 believed me, and assuming that Poster 2 agrees with me that they all weren't Powerleveled, he would just offer that he has had different experiences, and I'd look like a self-important know-it-all. Which you never want other people to see, especially if it's true.

Step 3: Logic vs. Emotion: Opposites Attract.

There are as many types of posters as there are posters, so I won't get into cheap generalizations. That said, there are two main types of posters.

There are people who post using logical-seeming, dry arguments, and there are people who post with feeling, and little else. One or the other type will typically dominate a thread. The rare few people with actual logical arguments don't concern us - such rare beasts are harmless until aggro'd. It's a good idea not to aggro them - they make terrible opponents, in both meanings of the phrase.

Neither style is more effective, although at first glance logical-seeming arguments appear better...until I get to Step 4, and turn you into a rampaging Captain Ahab of logical-seeming arguments.

Once you've picked a topic, and want to initiate a discussion, the best way to proceed is to package your reply in the opposite manner of the person you're responding to (alternatively, opposite of the main style of the thread, if you are not replying directly). I'll give an example below:

Poster 1: I <heart> the ED Changes! They make everything "FUN" and more new! Go, GO, GOOO, Statesman! Whiners begone, we really can have F-U-N now. Oh yeah, I like pie!

Great Scott: That's nice. While it's good that you're having fun, it's important to remember that not everyone shares the same Challenge/Frustration threshold as you. That's, of course, assuming that the AT and power sets that they picked happen to be equally affected by the slotting changes. In fact, we can even find the equation for fun, and I'll outline it here:

Brute/Scrapper/Stalker=1
MasterMind/Dominator/Controller=2
Corruptor/Blaster=3
Tank/Defender=4
Kheldian=5

"Fun" = ((AT# * Team Size - 4 [minimum 1]) + (Number of Missions Completed * AT#) + 1 [for each badge earned] + 100 [for each Level and/or Accolade earned]) / (# of Hours of the play session + # of Defeats + ((10 - Team Size [minimum 1]) * # of Team Wipes)

Since "fun" is equal to rewards divided by time spent + defeats, mathematically, we aren't having as much "fun" as we were before. Sadly, the level of acceptable "fun" isn't something that we can consciously choose. Every time the "fun" level drops, more people leave. That's a problem in any MMO, even a solo-friendly one like CoH.

If this logical-seeming reply didn't get a large response I would be shocked. There is some risk that the reply is so far out of whack with the style of the thread that it will be ignored outright. I've compensated for that by posting an outrageous "number-thing". If this had been a logic-heavy thread, I'd have posted a "feeling-thing" (such as "I like pie!").

I've also covered my bases by ensuring that the equation is solvable, and for many players, may even work to describe "fun" for most situations. In any event, discussion should ensue.

An important point to keep in mind as I finish this topic is that very few people on the message boards are truly dispassionate. Burned out? Maybe. Bored? Unlikely, but possible. My take on this is that anyone who joins a time-consuming MMO and posts on the message boards cares about the game.

Don't let anyone fool you with the tired old "I couldn't care less" attitude. If they didn't care, they wouldn't have typed out their thoughts and hit "send"; they'd be making origami out of X-Men #1.

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All cars crashed, no survivors.

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Great line there.

GS, you're scaring me. Really. Stop it. ... or... maybe ... keep doing it. It's... strangely addictive...

I feel the need to comment on this, but how do you troll a troll guide?

Stop!! No go on!! No stop!! Okay okay go on do it to me baby!!

You realize of course that after reading this post no one will ever post again for fear of appearing to be that which they are when ... drats I'm Great_Scott!!

no.. I'm Great_Scott

no... I'm Great_Scott

no.... I'm Great_Scott

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I feel the need to comment on this, but how do you troll a troll guide?


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Well, if you read the guide, you'd have seen the reasonable tone of the post, and screamed some kind of rant about how Trolls are evil.

I really like your post, regardless.

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You realize of course that after reading this post no one will ever post again for fear of appearing to be that which they are when ...

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Yes, exactly! This is multi-tiered evil, the more you think about it...

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Brute/Scrapper/Stalker=1
MasterMind/Dominator/Controller=2
Corruptor/Blaster=3
Tank/Defender=4
Kheldian=5

"Fun" = ((AT# * Team Size - 4 [minimum 1]) + (Number of Missions Completed * AT#) + 1 [for each badge earned] + 100 [for each Level and/or Accolade earned]) / (# of Hours of the play session + # of Defeats + ((10 - Team Size [minimum 1]) * # of Team Wipes)


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I think you have made an error in your calculation, or at the very least have made a bad approximation. Rather than 3 and 4, Defenders and Blasters should both have a value of approximately 3.1415.

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I feel the need to comment on this, but how do you troll a troll guide?


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Well, if you read the guide, you'd have seen the reasonable tone of the post, and screamed some kind of rant about how Trolls are evil.

I really like your post, regardless.

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HA! I love it!

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[ QUOTE ]
Brute/Scrapper/Stalker=1
MasterMind/Dominator/Controller=2
Corruptor/Blaster=3
Tank/Defender=4
Kheldian=5

"Fun" = ((AT# * Team Size - 4 [minimum 1]) + (Number of Missions Completed * AT#) + 1 [for each badge earned] + 100 [for each Level and/or Accolade earned]) / (# of Hours of the play session + # of Defeats + ((10 - Team Size [minimum 1]) * # of Team Wipes)


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I think you have made an error in your calculation, or at the very least have made a bad approximation. Rather than 3 and 4, Defenders and Blasters should both have a value of approximately 3.1415.

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Ah. A common mistake. Note that I was responding in the "Logical" style, not the "Feeling" style.

Pi(e) belongs in "Feeling" posts.

Also, Defenders are more Team oriented than Blasters, giving them a .8585 bonus to the chart.

You wrote that whole thing just as a cover so you could point out the irony of your avatar... didn't you! CONFESS!

Oh come on, honestly. What kind of self-important sycophant makes a guide about trolling. It's not like trolls actually need help doing it, and it's not like we want to create MORE of them with some kind of Do It Yourself manual. Ridiculous.

(Personally, I feel that flaming IS appropriate in some circumstances, particularly if the thread is already going in a steady direction which accomplishes something meaningful and your goal is to derail that by taking the focus off the topic and shifting it to your flaming. Technically this would be "flamebaiting" rather than "trolling" but the distinction is largely academic.)

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Oh come on, honestly. What kind of self-important sycophant makes a guide about trolling. It's not like trolls actually need help doing it, and it's not like we want to create MORE of them with some kind of Do It Yourself manual. Ridiculous.


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Actually, there are vanishing few proper Trolls on these boards.

Based on this post, you're pretty good, though.

Keep it up!

Nice.

But wait! You completely left out the part about bumping your thread using your second forum account!

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You wrote that whole thing just as a cover so you could point out the irony of your avatar... didn't you! CONFESS!

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Actually, this isn't far from the truth...

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But wait! You completely left out the part about bumping your thread using your second forum account!

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This is actually going to be covered in the addendum entitled "Stupid Forum Tricks".

Actually, I need to register a name for my other account. Thanks for the reminder!

Thank you, Great_Scott, for proving a point I made in the general forum (CoH) before having seen your post.

Thread with aforementioned point.

Quotation of aforementioned point:
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Advisor: The Advisor actually objectively gives pertinent and helpful advice that everyone can use. Thankfully these guys are a minority. (j/k, these guys are awsome)
Damage: Low
Defense: High
Primary: Buff
Secondary: Guide Writing (a comprehensive guide to Trolling coming soon... )

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WHERE'S MY AVATAR MENTION, HUH?!!!

Jerk!

Your avatar is many things.
Interesting. Creepy. Hard to take your eyes off of.

If people look closely at my avatar, they will notice I have emulated the exact color of the forum... Really.

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Oh come on, honestly. What kind of self-important sycophant makes a guide about trolling. It's not like trolls actually need help doing it, and it's not like we want to create MORE of them with some kind of Do It Yourself manual. Ridiculous.


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Actually, there are vanishing few proper Trolls on these boards.

Based on this post, you're pretty good, though.

Keep it up!

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LMAO