Steelclaw

Steelclaw's Predictions/Theories about Going Rogue...

* Upon creating a character they will automatically get a Praetorian Counterpart. This 2nd version of your character is run by the game and will turn up randomly throughout your career; always the opposite alignment of whatever your character is at that time. They have all the same powers, the same appearance, except their combat level is +2 to yours. They will also start impersonating you at parties, social events and just walking down the street, ruining your reputation. As time passes they will steal your lover, your money, your identity and even your dog. Eventually your account will be cancelled and the Praetorian version of your character (run by the computer) will go on to 50th level and send you gloating emails about its accomplishments.

* Demon Summoning will be the best set ever as Demon pets will allow for a here-to-for unheard of level of control and AI programming. You will be able to create actual situational tactics where they react automatically in specific circumstances. You will even be able to send them out to street sweep while you barter in the Market! Unfortunately, as with normal demon summoning, this WILL cost you your immortal soul.

* Dual Pistols will also be a magnificent addition to your power lists. You will be able to designate two separate targets to attack during combat or both shots on one. The addition of specialty rounds such as explosive, armor piercing and toxic just to name a few will add some great buffs/debuffs to the set. Unfortunately two weeks after release the Devs will decide this is all much too powerful and will nerf it back to a straw, some spit and a sheet of torn and wadded up paper pellets.

* Super groups will be a thing of the past as will Villain Groups. They will solve the alignment conflict issue by making all of them Secret Societies. All people going into their Secret Society base will be cloaked from head to toe in black sack cloth so no one knows who is a hero and who's a villain. Since no one can know your identity there will be no need for campaigning for members. Instead people simply sign up for the SS of choice at their local Secret Society registry. SS Chat channels will also protect their members by naming everyone Bob with a number designator after it.

* Everyone will start out as completely neutral and answer a questionaire that will determine their leanings with subtle, probing questions like: "You find a man drunk on the sidewalk with twenty dollar bills hanging out of his pocket... do you (A) help him to his feet, tuck the bills deeper into the pocket and get him home or (B) club him like a baby harp seal, take the cash and harvest his organs for sale to the Vahzilok?" With the help of this psychological profiling your alignment will be carefully calculated by the system.

My favorite of the ones I have currently is my Force Field/Energy Defender..

Sphere Factor

So one of the newer twitches in the game have been the introduction of more variety in the enemy emotes when you come across them… most of them are appropriate and some of them are funny.. the Circle of Thorns Lasher (who is armless) holding aloft the torch is my personal favorite…

But I don’t think we should stop there.. we need emotes for our Trainers, Task/Strike Force granters and Contacts! They deserve more to do than just stand there all day…

Here are a few suggestions:

• Doc Delilah: She should be trying to buy a bikini and asking my character for their opinion on various styles as she models them. Why? Ummm… Oh hey! Is that Elvis?

• Agent G: Should have a cheerleader squad behind him who would yell “Gimme a G! What’s that spell?!” Then look confused, because it really doesn’t spell anything. But they all just shrug it off and jump up and down waving their pompoms until it starts all over again.

• War Witch(in Pocket D): Don’t just HOLD that drink! Take a gulp now and then… and as time goes by she will start hiccoughing until finally she does the Stunned emote and walks over to flirt with the nearest bartender. Then she vomits and it starts all over again.

• Ms. Liberty: With the advent of the AE and resulting chaos of farmers and power levelers in Atlas Park there is only one possible emote for Ms. Liberty… When she has 8 or more heroes asking for training at the same time.. she should begin to sob uncontrollably.

• Mirror Spirit: Should do everything you do.

• ForeShadow: Should do everything you do… before you do it.

• Shop Attendants(all): These guys don’t act like any non-commissioned retail employee I’ve ever met. To make them more realistic they should subtly look away as you enter the store then walk in the opposite direction as though they have something else to do when you approach. If they work on commission then 10 of them should attack en masse as soon as you get a toe in the door demanding to know if you need help.

• Positron (I’m torn on this one… so… Option 1): After spending so long in his containment suit without being able to get free.. Posi will occasionally take the suit completely off and go through an emote of rubbing sun tanning oil on his body as he stands there wearing nothing but a speedo. During this procedure Valkyrie will laugh at him… when he offers the oil bottle to her and points at himself.. she will take the bottle and chuck it at his head.

• Positron(Option 2): Inevitably it takes a long time to get a Posi team going (which is nothing compared to how long the Task Force itself is); so Posi will help you pass the time by telling you stories of his own younger hero days… and tell you… and tell you… and tell you… All while going through the oration emote. The stories will appear in chat bubbles above his head and are set on a loop. Think of an old senile grandpa talking about the “good ol’ days.” During this one Valkyrie will do a nodding off to sleep then wake up violently emote.

• Manticore: He will sneak glances over at Swan every few minutes then jerk his head back to look at a neutral point again. Occasionally she will catch him peeking and he will do the whistling innocently emote. About once per day (or so) a projected image of Sister Psyche will appear before him with a very angry expression; Manticore will fly up into the air and land hard. He will then behave himself for about an hour before the whole process starts again.

• The Tower Room in Grandville: Scirocco will watch Ghost Widow while his henchmen behind him lean over and whisper or nudge him every so often. He will shake his head and scowl at them. Every so often he will finally give in to peer pressure and walk over to her. He will spout one of the pick-up lines from the guy in Pocket D (his mentor) at which point Widow will trap him in her spinning hold while everyone in the room (including Scirocco’s supporters) will laugh their hind ends off. He will retreat in humiliation and the process will begin again.

• The Tower Room in Grandville 2: Captain Mako will act normally most of the time but after a while will start rubbing his stomach as though it’s bothering him. This will happen more and more often until finally he turns around and grabs the nearest henchmen. A cloud of smoke with flailing claws and red spurts of liquid will envelop them. When it clears the henchmen will be missing except for a few scattered bones and Mako will be picking his teeth. The remaining henchmen will drag someone new in to take the missing guy’s place. The poor sap will spend 15 minutes doing the cower emote behind Mako.

• The Tower Room in Grandville 3: Black Scorpion will have a serious case of Tourrets. He will twitch every so often quite violently. At random times he will scream out unrelated and completely off the wall things: “Die Rabbit DIE!!”, “Not the tofu!”, “Napalm laxative!”

• Mynx: The usual kitty collection; licking the back of her wrist and dragging it over her head, jumping up and swatting madly at a butterfly that’s just out of reach, crouching on the ground and swatting a ball of yarn between her hands. There will also be one that will ONLY happen when she is approached from behind at a distance and no one is in front of her to see. She will be laying on the ground with one foot/leg sticking straight up in the air. Her head will be down near the base of that leg and moving up and down. She will immediately stop when the person gets close enough to see more detail. We have to maintain the teen rating somehow here folks.

• Synapse: He will occasionally take out a cell phone after a ring sound effect. Chat bubbles will say things like “Eggs and some milk? Okay” or “Dry cleaners…? AGAIN? How many times does spandex need to be pressed?!” He will then flash away in a brilliant burst of speed and arrive back about 2.5 seconds later. Once in a great while he will get a call and his chat bubble will say “Oh, hey there pretty lady. What? You’re wearing what now? Where? Oh my!” Once more he flashes away in a brilliant flash of speed. This time when he comes back (15 seconds later); he’s smoking a cigarette.

That's enough for now. If you have your own ideas throw 'em in! I may add more of my own later.

Okay... MY Room 101 missions in no particular order...

* The Ask Girl To High School Prom Mission: Luckily I only had to do this once as I wasn't running any alts at the time this was available... The worst thing about this mission is that no matter what your difficulty was set at every girl was at LEAST an Elite Boss and the cheer leaders made most Arch-Villains look like pansies.

* The Brain Aneurism Survival Mission: I had to do this one about 6 years ago. Actually, I can't say it was especially difficult... all I had to do was keep breathing while the doctors and nurses did all the work... The only tricky part was I was on a Morphine Debuff the whole time... or was it a Buff? Hard to tell really.

A Quick unrelated/related note: My sense of humor operates even while my brain is hemorrhaging apparently... the aneurism occurred at the... er... "end point" of my then girlfriend and I "reaquainting" ourselves on a Sunday morning.. when it hit (either one.. your choice) I went into a grand mal seizure... when the ambulance tech asked me what happened I explained and then quipped "You might say I came and went all at the same time."

* The Home PvP Zone: My daughter is 14 years old and is now trying to assert her independence from my ex-wife. Lucky for me I'm just a spectator for this one seeing as how I don't live with them; although neither one appreciates when I sit there eating popcorn and screaming "Go for the chair! The CHAIR!!"

* The Explaining the Birds and Bees Mission: This one is deadly. Not so much because of the potential embarassment... more because they keep correcting me.

* The Marital Respec Mission: Think of divorce as a respec... You have to undergo several missions including 1) Breaking the News; which is hardly fair since you're starting out the first mission in an AV battle. 2) Inevitable Death Throes; denial, marriage counselling, turning all your mutual friends against each other erupting in bar fights... actually that last one is pretty darned funny if you time it right. 3) The Legal Mumbo Jumbo; you both become masterminds during this mission regardless of your original AT.. only instead of getting thugs you get lawyers. Finally, however, you are free and clear and can respec into another relationship... the only thing is .. no matter how much influence you had.. no matter what enhancements, inspirations, tickets or whatever you possessed... you only get to keep half.

Trying this under a different title.. you know.. one that actually tells what the thread is about..

So these heroes and villains walk into a bar…

So while the Forums were down… and I was enduring a slow torment of not being able to post lists… I got to thinking about Pocket D… more specifically what kinds of conversations you could expect to hear from the various visiting villains and heroes who frequent the establishment.. Hmmm… Heroes and Villains mingling in a singles’ bar environment…

Ms. Liberty: “Hey there… I’ve been watching you from across the bar.. Your pick up technique is amateurish.. I especially love the time you used the tired old ‘Your legs must be tired ‘cause you’ve been running through my mind all night’ line… I almost burst something laughing so hard.. but… young and inexperienced is kinda my thing… If you come back to my place tonight I could train you up a little…”

Citadel: “Well hello there gorgeous… You are by far the most attractive thing I’ve seen in here tonight… I would love to get your number… Hmm? Oh! I’m sorry! No, I wasn’t speaking to you.. I was talking to your cell phone.”

Atlas(when he was alive): “Hey baby… I am going to introduce you to the one word that will soon become your favorite one for life… and that word is ‘proportional’..”

Mender Lazarus: “Hey there sexay thang… I feel sorry for your father because I’m about to become your new daddy..” SLAP!! (rewind)… “Hello there beautiful… I was wondering if you could give me directions… to your place…? Stop laughing…” (rewind) “Excuse me miss… but do you like fine literature? No?” (rewind) “… sports?” (rewind) “…animals? You do?! Oh wonderful.. I have a couple tickets to the circus… Oh, circuses are cruel to animals?” (rewind) “… tickets to the zoo?” (rewind) “…a protest against animal cruelty in DC… interested? You are? Wonderful.. let’s talk about that..”

Ghost Widow: “I’m flattered by the attention but you see.. I’m dead… a relationship with someone living just wouldn’t have any future to it… I could date you but I’d have to kill you first… You would? Well… I have to say I’m impressed at finally finding a man who doesn’t have commitment issues.”

Statesman: “Well aren’t you a lovely young woman? I was wondering if maybe I could buy you a drink? What? Oh come now, an older man just means I’m more experienced…. What do you mean I once dated your grandmother?”

Clockwork King: “Please, give me a chance! I know I look like a big clanking piece of machinery on the outside.. but remember… it’s what’s on the inside that counts! No, I’m NOT talking about those little Gears things!”

Doctor Vahzilok: “Please, my dear, come back to my place… I want to get to know you… one piece at a time.”

Lord Recluse: “Yes… I am Lord Recluse… owner of my own army… ruler of an entire Island Chain… Recluse… my name and my nature… always alone… strong in my solidarity yet lonely.. oh so lonely… perhaps… perhaps I may have been good.. perhaps a woman… a very special woman.. could have drawn me out of my seclusion… could have made me feel like a man instead of a villain… I would share my wealth and power with such a woman… I would make her queen of my world… Hmm? Your phone number? Well.. certainly.. I suppose I could give you a call.”

Lusca: “Man… If one more drunk Peacebringer hits on me I’m going to scream!”

Wretch: “Am Wretch handsome enough yet? No? Okay… Wretch buy you another drink.”

Silver Mantis: “A kinetic defender hmmm? No… sorry I’m not intere… wait a second.. do you know a scrapper or blaster? Maybe even a tank friend of yours? You alone wouldn’t be enough to satisfy me.. but if you buffed a friend while HE did it to me .. now that could be interesting.. Maybe even two or three friends at once.. do you think you could speed boost an entire group as they were taking turns with me? What? I’m talking about fighting… what did you THINK I was talking about?”

Captain Mako: “Sharks mate for life you know… Of course, how long you live after mating with me is iffy…”

Swan: “Hello… I’ve been doing a psychic survey of the guys in this place.. all the guys in here want to have sex with me… But you… you’re different… You want to cover my body with vanilla ice cream, chocolate sauce, butter scotch and whipped cream and liberally sprinkle nuts, jimmies and cherries… Then eat it all with no spoon while I sing ‘happy birthday’ to you… No, I’m not going to fulfill your fantasy… I just thought an intervention was necessary for your eating disorder.”

Ice Mistral: “You wish to do what with me? I see. You DO realize that living tissue that suffers extreme frost bite has to be cut off, right?”

Back Alley Brawler: “Yeah, see… I’d be flattered… except I just saw you flirting with Positron.. who turned you down… then you hit on Scirocco… who turned you down… Now you’re here talking to me… Sorry lady.. but when it comes to Disease-of-the-Month-Club Membership… I’ll just say ‘no’…”

Blue Steel: “You wish to invite me to your bedroom? Very well.. first you’ll have to provide proof of health insurance and sign these Waiver of Liability forms. Oh! And since we’ll be at your house I’ll also need to see a copy of your homeowner’s insurance.”

Nemesis: “It was my pleasure to help you Miss… After those ruffians attacked that woman outside.. which led to those heroes defending her with their AoE attacks.. which led to that flower pot being shaken loose from the window ledge.. which led to that alley cat being startled.. which led to the cat knocking over that trash can.. which rolled down that hill and knocked you off your feet.. which just HAPPENED to be right in front of me so I could catch you moments before you hit the sidewalk… well.. I just HAD to ask you here for a drink.. it was almost like Fate itself was Plotting to get us together.”

Synapse: “Have you ever spent the night with a super speedster before? 45 times in an hour… and that’s only because I insist on smoking a cigarette each time… err… cuddling and talking? Ummm.. sure.. but at superspeed I can get that done in 2.5 seconds… where are you going? Oh, come on! It was a JOKE!”

Manticore: “Listen… I’m flattered… really… but I’m a married man and I’m just not interested… ‘She’ll never know?’… lady, my wife is a psychic… you think she doesn’t check up on me when I get home? I’ve been scanned more times than a UPC label…”

Scirocco: “No, I’m sorry… It’s not that I’m not interested but I have this curse on me that makes any act of good or charity I attempt twist to become evil… and that doesn’t translate well to the bedroom or relationships... >sighs< Do you know how many times I’ve heard women say ‘I think Emo guys are hot’?”

Malaise: “I would love your company this evening… Do I think you’re pretty? Well… I suppose… but that really doesn’t matter… I’m going to use my illusion powers to make you look like someone else anyway… oh, now don’t be mad… the flesh is the ultimate deceiver… it is a misleading shroud that covers the true beauty within… Am I going to make you look like Angelina Jolie? No… I’m in more of a Johnny **** mood tonight… Where are you going?”

Jim Temblor: “Yeah, I’m not interested in a quick hook up either. What I really want is a life partner… Someone I can depend on… Someone stable and well-grounded… Who always looks before she leaps… I’ve had too much drama and tragedy in my life so far… I just want a girl who can take care of herself and not disrupt what little peace I’ve managed to scrape together… Oh, I’m sorry… My name’s Jim… Jim Temblor… Fusionette? Nice to meet you.”

Serge: “Johnny ****? Hmmm… Okay… but only if you’re Sean Connery… and the voice had better be DEAD ON.”

Generic 0003962278: “I’m a playboy millionaire… And I would LOVE to spend time and money on a lady as lovely as you… What do you mean ‘no’? Okay then… just to show you how serious I am about this… I’ll let you in on a little secret… in reality… I’m Batman… Please stop laughing at me.”

DJ Zero: “Okay, so we’re a few short months away from opening up our portal to Praetorian Earth… Soon we’ll have a bunch of doubles wandering around in here.. We’ll have to take precautions against open battle in the hallways… again… But first we have a more important order of business… The pool bets… okay… Who is betting that Malaise ends up hooking up with himself?”

For those who may not know me... My name is Steelclaw.. and I make lists... usually humorous ones... usually... Welcome to my madness...

So these heroes and villains walk into a bar…

So while the Forums were down… and I was enduring a slow torment of not being able to post lists… I got to thinking about Pocket D… more specifically what kinds of conversations you could expect to hear from the various visiting villains and heroes who frequent the establishment.. Hmmm… Heroes and Villains mingling in a singles’ bar environment…

Ms. Liberty: “Hey there… I’ve been watching you from across the bar.. Your pick up technique is amateurish.. I especially love the time you used the tired old ‘Your legs must be tired ‘cause you’ve been running through my mind all night’ line… I almost burst something laughing so hard.. but… young and inexperienced is kinda my thing… If you come back to my place tonight I could train you up a little…”

Citadel: “Well hello there gorgeous… You are by far the most attractive thing I’ve seen in here tonight… I would love to get your number… Hmm? Oh! I’m sorry! No, I wasn’t speaking to you.. I was talking to your cell phone.”

Atlas(when he was alive): “Hey baby… I am going to introduce you to the one word that will soon become your favorite one for life… and that word is ‘proportional’..”

Mender Lazarus: “Hey there sexay thang… I feel sorry for your father because I’m about to become your new daddy..” SLAP!! (rewind)… “Hello there beautiful… I was wondering if you could give me directions… to your place…? Stop laughing…” (rewind) “Excuse me miss… but do you like fine literature? No?” (rewind) “… sports?” (rewind) “…animals? You do?! Oh wonderful.. I have a couple tickets to the circus… Oh, circuses are cruel to animals?” (rewind) “… tickets to the zoo?” (rewind) “…a protest against animal cruelty in DC… interested? You are? Wonderful.. let’s talk about that..”

Ghost Widow: “I’m flattered by the attention but you see.. I’m dead… a relationship with someone living just wouldn’t have any future to it… I could date you but I’d have to kill you first… You would? Well… I have to say I’m impressed at finally finding a man who doesn’t have commitment issues.”

Statesman: “Well aren’t you a lovely young woman? I was wondering if maybe I could buy you a drink? What? Oh come now, an older man just means I’m more experienced…. What do you mean I once dated your grandmother?”

Clockwork King: “Please, give me a chance! I know I look like a big clanking piece of machinery on the outside.. but remember… it’s what’s on the inside that counts! No, I’m NOT talking about those little Gears things!”

Doctor Vahzilok: “Please, my dear, come back to my place… I want to get to know you… one piece at a time.”

Lord Recluse: “Yes… I am Lord Recluse… owner of my own army… ruler of an entire Island Chain… Recluse… my name and my nature… always alone… strong in my solidarity yet lonely.. oh so lonely… perhaps… perhaps I may have been good.. perhaps a woman… a very special woman.. could have drawn me out of my seclusion… could have made me feel like a man instead of a villain… I would share my wealth and power with such a woman… I would make her queen of my world… Hmm? Your phone number? Well.. certainly.. I suppose I could give you a call.”

Lusca: “Man… If one more drunk Peacebringer hits on me I’m going to scream!”

Wretch: “Am Wretch handsome enough yet? No? Okay… Wretch buy you another drink.”

Silver Mantis: “A kinetic defender hmmm? No… sorry I’m not intere… wait a second.. do you know a scrapper or blaster? Maybe even a tank friend of yours? You alone wouldn’t be enough to satisfy me.. but if you buffed a friend while HE did it to me .. now that could be interesting.. Maybe even two or three friends at once.. do you think you could speed boost an entire group as they were taking turns with me? What? I’m talking about fighting… what did you THINK I was talking about?”

Captain Mako: “Sharks mate for life you know… Of course, how long you live after mating with me is iffy…”

Swan: “Hello… I’ve been doing a psychic survey of the guys in this place.. all the guys in here want to have sex with me… But you… you’re different… You want to cover my body with vanilla ice cream, chocolate sauce, butter scotch and whipped cream and liberally sprinkle nuts, jimmies and cherries… Then eat it all with no spoon while I sing ‘happy birthday’ to you… No, I’m not going to fulfill your fantasy… I just thought an intervention was necessary for your eating disorder.”

Ice Mistral: “You wish to do what with me? I see. You DO realize that living tissue that suffers extreme frost bite has to be cut off, right?”

Back Alley Brawler: “Yeah, see… I’d be flattered… except I just saw you flirting with Positron.. who turned you down… then you hit on Scirocco… who turned you down… Now you’re here talking to me… Sorry lady.. but when it comes to Disease-of-the-Month-Club Membership… I’ll just say ‘no’…”

Blue Steel: “You wish to invite me to your bedroom? Very well.. first you’ll have to provide proof of health insurance and sign these Waiver of Liability forms. Oh! And since we’ll be at your house I’ll also need to see a copy of your homeowner’s insurance.”

Nemesis: “It was my pleasure to help you Miss… After those ruffians attacked that woman outside.. which led to those heroes defending her with their AoE attacks.. which led to that flower pot being shaken loose from the window ledge.. which led to that alley cat being startled.. which led to the cat knocking over that trash can.. which rolled down that hill and knocked you off your feet.. which just HAPPENED to be right in front of me so I could catch you moments before you hit the sidewalk… well.. I just HAD to ask you here for a drink.. it was almost like Fate itself was Plotting to get us together.”

Synapse: “Have you ever spent the night with a super speedster before? 45 times in an hour… and that’s only because I insist on smoking a cigarette each time… err… cuddling and talking? Ummm.. sure.. but at superspeed I can get that done in 2.5 seconds… where are you going? Oh, come on! It was a JOKE!”

Manticore: “Listen… I’m flattered… really… but I’m a married man and I’m just not interested… ‘She’ll never know?’… lady, my wife is a psychic… you think she doesn’t check up on me when I get home? I’ve been scanned more times than a UPC label…”

Scirocco: “No, I’m sorry… It’s not that I’m not interested but I have this curse on me that makes any act of good or charity I attempt twist to become evil… and that doesn’t translate well to the bedroom or relationships... >sighs< Do you know how many times I’ve heard women say ‘I think Emo guys are hot’?”

Malaise: “I would love your company this evening… Do I think you’re pretty? Well… I suppose… but that really doesn’t matter… I’m going to use my illusion powers to make you look like someone else anyway… oh, now don’t be mad… the flesh is the ultimate deceiver… it is a misleading shroud that covers the true beauty within… Am I going to make you look like Angelina Jolie? No… I’m in more of a Johnny **** mood tonight… Where are you going?”

Jim Temblor: “Yeah, I’m not interested in a quick hook up either. What I really want is a life partner… Someone I can depend on… Someone stable and well-grounded… Who always looks before she leaps… I’ve had too much drama and tragedy in my life so far… I just want a girl who can take care of herself and not disrupt what little peace I’ve managed to scrape together… Oh, I’m sorry… My name’s Jim… Jim Temblor… Fusionette? Nice to meet you.”

Serge: “Johnny ****? Hmmm… Okay… but only if you’re Sean Connery… and the voice had better be DEAD ON.”

Generic 0003962278: “I’m a playboy millionaire… And I would LOVE to spend time and money on a lady as lovely as you… What do you mean ‘no’? Okay then… just to show you how serious I am about this… I’ll let you in on a little secret… in reality… I’m Batman… Please stop laughing at me.”

DJ Zero: “Okay, so we’re a few short months away from opening up our portal to Praetorian Earth… Soon we’ll have a bunch of doubles wandering around in here.. We’ll have to take precautions against open battle in the hallways… again… But first we have a more important order of business… The pool bets… okay… Who is betting that Malaise ends up hooking up with himself?”

[ QUOTE ]
Last night my Contact sent me on a Mission to Investigate some brutal slayings over in Brickstown.

The bodies were found in bathtubs filled with milk &amp; sliced bananas.

The PPD think it's a cereal killer.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah.. they caught that guy... his brother was the Popcorn Murderer... he was arrested for A Salt and Buttering. (assault and battery.. it's funnier when said aloud)

Batches....? We don' need no steenking Batches!

Emote King: You have used over 10,000 emotes while waiting for your mission mates to arrive.

Emote-Shun: You have used the emote-judge command to rate everyone you meet a 3 out of 10 or lower.

Fugly: You have entered over 100 Costume Contests; and won ZERO.

Light Headed: You have used hover instead of walking for so long your legs have atrophied.

Redundant Redundancy: You have the same character AT, Name, Powersets and costume on at least 5 different servers.

The Dev's Best Friend: You completed a mission architect story arc with a team... That WASN'T a farm!

Duct Tape Solution: Your team actually stayed together for the entirety of a Safeguard/Mayhem mission.

Cell With Your Name On It: You've been sent to the prison "hospital" 10 times on the same Mayhem.

Confused: You bought the Science Pack and now you're not sure what the original gender of your character was.

She's Gonna Blow!: You've accidentally hit the Self Destruct power 100 times during normal combat.

Can Ya Spare Some Change Mac?: You've borrowed over 1,000 inspirations from other players to craft wakies.

The Steelclaw: You were so busy trying to type in that wise-acre comment in team chat that you died... this has happened 10 times.

The Gold Plated Steelclaw: Yeah, make that 1000 times.

Well, Helloooooo Dolly: You have yet to make a female character whose boob slider was not maxed out.

Superman's Powers With A Chimpanzee's Brain: You got your first level 50 only 10 hours after you started your first full account... Good Job!

Mua-Ha-ha ha haaaaaa!: This badge is ONLY available to those who never earn another badge other than their Veteran badges. Take that you Badge-obsessed bas***ds!

Synapse is running at roughly mach 1.5 through the inner city when he notices a glimmer in the trash clogging the gutter. He screeches to a halt and zips back to see it's an old lamp of some kind. He picks it up and wipes it off... sure enough a Genie emerges.

"Greetings, oh Master... I am here to grant you three wishes! But first.. I sense that Countess Crey is your darkest and most hated enemy. Know that these wishes I grant are CURSED wishes! Whatever you wish for.. be assured that Countess Crey shall receive TWICE the amount!"

Synapse grinned eagerly. "Excellent! I wish for twenty million dollars!"

There was a clap of thunder and the Genie raised his hands to the heavens. "It is done! But realize that right now your hated Countess Crey has received FORTY million dollars!"

"Yeah, yeah.. I get it... no problem," Synapse nodded. "For my second wish.. I wish for a beautiful woman to be waiting for me when I get home.. totally in love with me and 100% loyal."

The heavens rumbled with the force of the magic. "It is done! But Countess Crey has two perfect male specimens waiting for her at her home, both of them willing to do her slightest whim and devoted to her utterly."

Synapse waved a hand dismissively. "Whatever... now... for my final wish... I wish for you to beat me Half to Death..."

If I must...

Yo momma so fat Atlas HANDED her the Top Dog badge rather than risk her getting it herself.

Yo momma so fat she brought a Cook Book to fight Lusca.

Yo momma so nasty the fires are still burning years later in Boomtown 'cause she ate a bean burrito there and used the john.

Yo momma so stanky heroes give her a hug as training for a sewer run.

Yo momma is such a tramp they gave her an honorary membership to the Disease of the Month Club.

Yo momma is so nasty she gave a venereal disease to Kraken.

Yo momma is so fat she slipped on the ice during the Rescue Baby New Year mission and Footstomped the entire map.

Yo momma is so fat the Fifth Column spent the past years safely hidden in her rolls.

Yo momma is so fat the Vampires during the Halloween Event call her Buffet.

Yo momma is so fat the Vahzilok could only harvest her organs if they used mining equipment and dynamite.

Yo momma is so stupid she couldn't understand why her boobs were the same size after slotting her enhancements.

Yo momma is so fat everyone ELSE has to suffer through system load times when she enters their zone.

Yo momma is so fat Captain Mako writes her once a week with invitations to dinner.

Yo momma is so stupid she told the person who asked her to sidekick him that she didn't HAVE Martial Arts as her primary.

Yo momma is so ugly any zone she enters is a PvP zone.

Yo momma is so ugly she violates the Teen Rating.

Yo momma is so fat she can only be rendered in 8 bit graphics.

Yo momma is so ugly the game automatically renders her with censorship distortion.. and it wasn't programmed to be able to do that.

Yo momma is so stanky the cockroaches all run from the sewers when she enters.

Yo momma is so ugly she can only get a date in Dark Astoria.

Yo momma is so stanky Hellions put out their fires whenever they know she's around... just in case.

Yo momma is so fat she uses Devouring Earth as garnish.

Yo momma is so lazy sleeping drains her endurance bar.

Yo momma is so fat any physical blow she takes acts as a PBAoE attack on everyone around her as the impact tremor makes its way around her body.

Really WEAK power sets...

* Sonic/Sonic Stalker

* Dual Pillows Brute

* Pool Noodle Scrapper

* Bean Burrito Blaster

* Conscientious Protestor Defender

* Self-Controller

* Masochistic Pain Domination Corrupter

* Fish MasterMind

CoH Dirty Jokes That (hopefully) Still Fit In The Teen Rating

If you are offended by naughty jokes or are not old enough to be reading this sort of thing.. STOP HERE... and quickly skip to the next post...







... I mean it....







... you've been warned....



... Fine.

* I thought you said Deflowering Earth! Do you know how hard it is to find a virgin in this city?!

* So you're a Crey Scientist, huh? Yeah, my wife and I also do genetic experimentation to try to create a new generation of meta-humans... it's called "having sex."

* Yeah... My claws came later in life... I forget I have them at the worse possible moments... Like scratching itches... Thank god I had a spare!

* Fire/Ice Blasters Keep It Hot and Wet

* MasterMinds Do It In Groups

* Brute: My Fury Bar Ain't The Only Thing That's Rising

* Tanks Can Do It All Night Long

* Spines Scrappers: Ask Me About My Bananas

* Kinetics Defenders: An Interdiction of Friction

* Storm Defenders Hit It Like Thunder

* Illusion/Storm Controllers Are The Stuff of Wet Dreams

* The Domination Bar: Fill to Thrill

* Defenders Do It Better In Teams

* Stalkers: I'm In Ur Bedroom Spyin' Ur Naughties

[ QUOTE ]
I'll start:

What do you call a storm defender who's trying to respec into O2 boost?

[/ QUOTE ]

* Healorz wanna be

* Currently Asphyxiated

* Respiration Respec

* Gasping for Straws

* Going Green (numbers that is)

* Did it to lose Gale... so.. "Gone With The Wind"

* Take a road trip to NorCal and deliver your suggestions, complaints and jokes to the Devs in person!

Let’s face it.. Most of us here are addicted to the Forums and use it as a way to pass the time and keep in touch with our fellow gamers… Unfortunately, the Forums will be shut down for 72 hours in the next week…

Please use this thread to list possible things we Forumites can do to survive this horrible void…

• Use the time to remember who those people you live with are… especially the ones who call you “Mom” or “Dad”.

• (Specific to Perfect Pain) Farm behemoths.. then.. after getting kicked out of the Museum of Natural History.. remember that only the FORUMS are down.. not the game itself.

• Go play the game for a while and realize that the one feature that you complained about for 3 months on end after it was initiated.. the one you actually never got around to play testing… is actually pretty good.

• (Specific to PhiloticKnight) Go out to farm country and count the vertical parts of the fences there… vainly trying to increase your Post Count.

• Spend the time trying to learn the European language so you can understand what they’re saying when the forums merge.

• (Specific to Trollers… Part or otherwise) Get your soap box and go to the local street corner… start screaming at the top of your lungs that Power Proliferation is moving too slowly and the new Power Customization doesn’t go nearly far enough. Be nice to the gentlemen when they put the coat with the funky sleeves on you.

• (Specific to Steelclaw) Spend most of your time driving your lady love insane by telling her all the weird CoH stuff that’s going through your mind rather than bothering the people on the Forums with it. Try to avoid bodily injury and/or break up.

• (Specific to Mod 8, Niviene and others) Laugh. Looooooong and hard.

• Discover these funny little paper things called “books” that also utilize the reading skill. Eventually put them aside as there seems to be no “Reply” functionality.

• (Specific to Ultimus) Walk up to random people on the street and ask off-the-wall questions. Immediately snap digital picture of the befuddled expression on their face for collection.

• No matter where you are… randomly scream out “Does anyone here know when Issue 16 is supposed to be released to Closed Beta?!” I don’t suggest doing this one in a magazine or comic book store… since it will upset the customer service people that you’re not talking about one of their products.

• Have a horribly bad/exceptionally wonderful experience with a PUG/Task Force/Strike Force/AE Team/Mission Arc… bore your family to tears with a description about it.. then get upset when they don’t have constructive criticism or their own similar stories to tell.

• An hour before the shut down… feverishly collect all the phone numbers from every forumite you can… set up the world’s largest conference call lasting 72 hours.

• Remember what it was like to have friends whose faces didn’t have a maximum pixel size.

• Draw strange looks when you preface all your short answers by saying “QR”.

• Print out small postage stamp size pictures of the Avatars of your favorite posters… glue them over the actual faces of several Barbie Dolls.. have a tea party that breaks down into a food fight when a minor disagreement starts a Flame War.

• The Forum shut down came in the middle of a huge argument you were having with another Forumite. During the break polish your argument to a mirror shine.. hone your ripostes to a razor’s edge… only to find out the other guy completely forgot the discussion during their time off.

• (Specific to Dark Respite) Friends ask you to help video tape their wedding during the time off… Without thinking scream “I’m RETIRED DANG IT!” … Immediately apologize.

• (Specific to Development Team) Notice that while the Forums are down player numbers in-game increase by 30%... Also Customer Service complaints go down by 20%... Announce “Forum Transfer Difficulties” and apologize for the inconvenience.

Few more occurred to me... in the dead of the night.. they invaded my dreams... and told me of my destiny... the voices tell others to do great things.. kill people in the name of God... prevent catastrophes... save the world.. my voices.... they tell ME to write bad jokes in forum posts... go figure.

Hamidon: "Welcome to News at Six... Today an entire convention center was swallowed and digested by what seems to be a massive single-cell organism... While the organism did eat the structure itself.. it expelled all the convention goers prior to digesting.. we asked a prominent scientist if this may be an act of caring or sympathy on the part of the organism... Doctor Liebowitz responded that Convention goers 'taste bad'.."

Arbiter Sands: "I love conventions! They remind me of... well.. better days... Say.. I know it's against my Witness Relocation agreement.. but can't I just have a guitar and an hour on the presentation stage? How about 30 minutes? Oh come on... don't be cruel.."

Captain Castillo: "Attention Ladies and Gentlemen... It is the day of the Con you've all been waiting for.. that's right.. it's MY day.. Now Ladies.. I know it will be difficult to contain your eagerness.. but please try to make an orderly line here at the Captain Castillo Kissing Booth... as for you boys... there is a viewing room over there to the right where you can either watch the videos of my past exploits or watch the televised action of the kissing line ... so you can take notes on proper execution for if you ever manage to get a girlfriend.."

Countess Crey: "I don't know why you're surprised I decided to attend the Con, Matt. Oh, I know you think I'm only interested in finding super hero guinnea pigs upon which to do my experiments.. but there ARE other interests I hold. And this Con will definitely provide more than willing volunteers. Excuse me while I demonstrate. (Takes microphone) Attention Con Attendees; Crey Industries is looking for volunteers upon which to experiment for the purpose of granting a normal human being extraordinary super powers. This procedure does have several serious risks of side effects and has been fatal in 10% of our attempts. Those interested should form a line at the Crey Industries Kiosk. (Five minutes later) If you'll excuse me Matt... I really need to go.. It would appear as though the entire Con is lined up and waiting for me."

Dominatrix: "See, Mister Miller? KNEEL WORM! TRY THE GAME PREVIEW!! I told you that I'd be the perfect person to represent Going Rogue's Praetorian world. YOU CONVENTION GOING SLIME; YOU WILL BUY THIS GAME WON'T YOU?! Sure, Tyrant is big and strong and powerful... KISS MY BOOT OR YOU'LL TASTE THE KISS OF MY WHIP COMIC BOY! But I have a softer touch... you need feminine wiles to appeal to these gamer and comic geeks, you know. YOU DARE LOOK ME IN THE EYES WORM?! SOMEONE FETCH MY SPECIAL BARBED CAT O' NINES!"

Doctor Vahzilok: "I told you I could behave myself at the Con Mister Miller. Oh, don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm feeling any particular graciousness towards these people... rather I don't see a single body part I'd consider putting on one of my creations."

Lanaru the Mad: "Pocky! PockyPockyPockyPockyPockyPockyPockyPocky!!"

Nemesis: "Waaaaaaait... Wait for it... okay... they're getting closer... approaching from different directions... just in front of me in 4.... 3... 2... I Don't Know What You're Talking About... Marvel Is SO Much Better Than D.C.... The Hulk Would Beat Superman Into A Pulp... and away... oh look... they're arguing with each other about it now... and there comes two more geeks to join in... it's like Mitosis... soon the entire Con will be consumed with the argument.. then when they have reached a fever pitch.. I'll start a rumor that the mayor of this fine city has enacted a tax specific to comic book stores that is forcing them all to close.. then I shall lead my angry army out into the streets... Ahhhh.. I do so love it when a plan comes together."

Vanessa DeVore: "I need to leave Matt... NOW... Do you have any idea what Vore means to some of these people?!"

Citadel: "Matt... Seriously... I need to get Luminary out of here.. she's far too naive for this crowd... I've had to rescue her ten times already from groups of adolescent hackers who are promising to give her Upgrades.."

Foreshadow: "For the last time!! I am NOT a YAOI ANIME CosPlayer!! Now get away from me!!"

Lady Jane: "No... I don't know Austin Powers personally... Why do you ask?"

Malaise: "Now watch... I'll create an illusion of a sexy Sailor Moon Cos Player next to that alpha geek over there.. BOOM! He's caught! Now... She'll show him a little smile... then I'll work up to a kiss on the cheek.. $10 says I can make him pass out before she gets to 2nd base.."

Mirror Spirit(talking with Swan): "Actually no... I haven't had a single problem with Fan Boys drooling all over me.. I just tell them 'My name is Mirror Spirit... My powers include knowing anything that a person ever did while standing in front of a mirror'.... They usually run like hell at that point."

[ QUOTE ]
This one was one of the best yet! Steelclaw, I can't decide if you're a mad genius, or just mad.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well... The genius part maybe... but Mad? Hmm... today I'm mostly happy with a side of silliness.. Could I be a Happy Genius? Nah... let's just say Manic Genius.. Manic is the happy side of insanity anyway...

Oh... and once more for all those people who read my stuff at work, school or in the presence of so-called "sane" people...

Disclaimer:

We here at Steelclaw Studios are more than happy to provide our viewing public with material from the mind of Steelclaw. However, realize you are experiencing Steelclaw at your own risk.

Steelclaw Studios takes no responsibility for the following conditions that occur during or as a result of the use and/or viewing of Steelclaw:

* sudden spewing of drinking and/or eating materials on self, others, electronic equipment, upholstery or pets...

* Loss of dignity, friends, employment or wages as a result of truthfully answering the question "What's so funny?" when asked.

* Loss of sleep due to not getting the joke that everyone else in the forums claim was the best of the list.

* Divorce and/or relationship problems occurring when your significant other realizes you like "THAT" kind of humor.

* Any bodily injury occuring as a result of reading Steelclaw material while in a public place and trying desperately to hold the laughter in.

Side note: Regarding that last one... never... NEVER invite me to a wedding, church, political speech or the like. I WILL be the person in the back trying their best to make you laugh out loud and get kicked out of the place. And yes that has happened once... the mother of the bride (the bride was a friend of mine) came back and told a friend of mine that if he didn't stop laughing she'd have to ask him to leave. He blamed me.

* We accept no liability should you make the mistake of trying to repeat a Steelclaw joke to a friend... If you attempt such a thing the best thing you can hope for is a look of blank incomprehension... the worst... well... let's just say self-defense courses are always advantageous.

* Any attempt to sing any Steelclaw Studios parody song in public are done at your own risk. This one actually goes for Steelclaw himself too.

* Remember, you enjoy Steelclaw Studios productions at your own risk.. any toxic, neurological or phamacological side effects are not our fault.

Thank you for your support.

What if the actual heroes and villains from City of had to attend the Con to do advertising for the upcoming Issue 16 and Going Rogue?

Sister Psyche: “Booth girl? BOOTH GIRL?! I’ve saved the world from destruction twenty times over already and you want me to stand around letting nerd-boys and alpha-geeks ogle me all day long? I’m a married woman! What do you mean Manticore suggested it?!”

Positron: “After standing there all day in Steel Canyon, this really isn’t all that bad. At least people aren’t whining about my Task Force… as much. I only have one question… why is everyone calling that bearded guy over there Positron?”

Statesman: “Look, I know I’m supposed to be here only to promote the game. I just don’t think you see the other potential benefits of my presence here. Look at all these young men who don’t have any goals or aspirations in life. If just happen to pass out a few military recruiting brochures… These fine young male Con-goers may make excellent soldiers… why are you laughing?”

Ghost Widow: “No, I will not stop. The next male who attempts to touch me or suggests something inappropriate is going to be spinning in my hold as well. Besides, it seems to amuse the ladies in the crowd… few of them as there are.”

Wretch: “NEEEEERRRRDSSSS!! NERRRRRRDDSSSSSSS!!” (think Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds)

Swan: “Why are all the other Booth Girls glaring at me like that?”

Manticore: “Have you seen my wife? No? Oh good… for some reason she seems to think I told the director to make her a Booth Girl… Wait a second… Wasn’t Synapse talking to the floor director earlier? Oh that son of a B….!!!”

Lord Recluse: “I would like to welcome you all to what you thought was the Con… The developers of the game have been… disposed of… If you will all kindly form a line here at the table to my right… we shall begin your in-processing… Welcome to your career in Arachnos!”

Back Alley Brawler: “Welcome to the Con… Why don’t you try out our upcoming Issue 16 preview on one of the free computers to my right? Hmmm? No.. I’m sorry… I can’t shake your hand… errr… after what happened at the last Con I’ve been informed our liability insurance can’t handle it… High Five? Sure… I guess that would be okay.”

Infernal: “When will this Con END?! I’ve journeyed into the precincts of hell itself.. I’ve stared dead in the face of infernal eternity and even *I* can’t see the end of this day in sight. Are you SURE I can’t summon my minions? Ten bucks says I could have this building cleared in five minutes…. Okay… Twenty bucks. Matt… get out your stopwatch.”

Luminary: “Pardon my interruption Mister Miller… but I must pose an interrogative regarding my duties here at the Con. I have been approached by several customers who have indicated an interest in ‘uploading their hardware into my software and completing an input/output loop.’ I understand that your technology here is far inferior to my own; but it was my understanding that software was placed into hardware and not the other way around. Could you please explain?”

Ms. Liberty: “Standing in one spot all day smiling while hundreds and hundreds of people in weird costumes walk up and talk to me. Why does this seem so familiar?”

Jim Temblor (on his cell phone): “What do you mean you got lost on the way to the Con?!”

Synapse: “Oh hey! Manticore… umm… good to see you! Oh… come on… that was just a joke! What are you going to do with that arrow? Hey… wait a second.. it’s way too crowded in here for you to fire that arrow at me… too crowded for me to run too.. what do mean you don’t plan to shoot it you plan to stick it? Eep. HELP!!”

Mynx: “He deserved it! He gave me a bag of cat litter and a rubber mousey and said he knew just how to make me purr! Oh stop being so dramatic… I’m sure the doctors will be able to re-attach it. If he comes back to consciousness tell him thanks for the catnip though.”

Captain Mako: “Oooohh… I feel sick… You gotta let me outta this place or I’m gonna hurl! Dammit Matt! Sharks hunt by their sense of SMELL! Do you know how long it’s been since most of these people have bathed?!”

Silver Mantis: “I get turned on and excited by violence… by the threat of violence too… when I’m getting beaten on by someone who is skilled and powerful in the art of combat… it just makes me feel so alive.. makes me tingle.. I start getting turned on the moment I see someone who I think can push my limits and beat me real good..” Pauses to look out over the Con crowd. “I have never been more depressed in my life.”

Scirocco: “I am SO looking forward to Going Rogue! Finally villains will be able to become heroes! I’m as giddy as a school girl! Have I reviewed my contract stipulations? No… No I haven’t… not recently… why do you ask?”

Ice Mistral: “What were you thinking?! You’re old enough to know that when you lick something ice cold your tongue is going to stick! Well.. I’ll just have to take care of this… Oh stop your whining… You should never have accepted your friend’s dare in the first place. It will only hurt for a moment.. and I am NOT going around all day with you stuck me like this.”

Black Scorpion: “Hey Matt… I’m back. Where have I been? Oh… umm… nowhere in particular.. just wandering around spreading the good word about the game. No… No I don’t know anything about the explosions and fire at the World of Warcraft booth. And I’m positive there isn’t a witness left alive to say I was anywhere near it.”

[ QUOTE ]
The Devs hate ... HOBOs!!!!

In this game we have seen Nazis, Clowns, Robots, Time Travelers, Ghosts, Vampires, street thugs, aliens, mutants, those who are Lost, magicians, arch villians, heros, romans, mafia, farmers, police officers, detectives, students, professors, office workers, badge-hunters, veterans, superhero clones and the GMs that catch them....

But not one single hobo.

Where's the love? Where's the equality? Where's the STENCH????

With all the trains that go from one city to another its just not right that we don't have hobos in the game ... especially since these trains are FREE!!!!!

Hobos love riding trains for free. You don't see us complaining like some of you that we need more modes of transportation. You don't see us whining about not having cars? Or horses? Or magic carpets?

We already have what we need. Trains! But do you you see us there? Nooooooooo! And why not? Because of devs! (Which is short for "devils')

You don't see us complaining about recipe drops, either. Or merits. Or MA tickets. All we want is a few cigar or cigarette butts to drop. But do we get them? Nooooo. And why not? Because of devs. (Which is short for deviants!)

And you don't see us complaining about SG bases not having enough storage bins for all our "treasures." All we want is a public restroom. But do we get it? Nooooooo. And why not? Because of devs. (Which is short for devious!) They supply us with countless commerical buildings, universitities, banks, tailor shops, jewelry stores, police stations ... all open to the public ... but not a single friggin public bathroom!!!!!

Do you know how many times I've been on a team when one of my teammates has said, "afk... brb... bio break..." '

The devs know that most players live at home and have bathrooms at their disposal. But hobos? Who cares about hobos? We're supposed to just pee our pants and continue playing!!!!!

Thank heavens for this thread. I've been holding this in for an awful long time (as well as that other thing), and this finally gives me the proper forum to rant. God bless the OP... and double damn the devs (which is short for how DEValued we hobos feel!!!!)

[/ QUOTE ]
Go red side... plenty of hobos there... in Mercy Island you practically have to elbow them aside just to get around.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
5. What sound or noise do you love?
The American Anthem... the sound of the flag flapping in the wind... the screams of Miss Liberty when I made her see fireworks on that one fourth of July... wait! Stop tape! Are you SURE about that editing thing?!


[/ QUOTE ]

Dude! Miss Liberty is his daughter!

[/ QUOTE ]
Sheesh.. who in the heck was he involved with then? I thought his wife was Miss Liberty.. this is the second time my mistaking this particular bit of the lore has messed up this joke and turned it twisted..

Not that I'm not twisted anyway.. but I really prefer to be INTENTIONALLY twisted.

Yeah... I have to say it does... normally I like being alone and cherish my privacy...

In game I solo about 80% of the time..

However when I get into groups of people that I am comfortable with.. I perform... voices, parody songs, jokes, wise acre comments, the whole nine yards...

When in teams I am pretty constantly "On" in the same manner.. I work hard to be a contributing team member but jokes and the like abound...

[ QUOTE ]
Steelclaw, your brilliance outshines us all once more. Do Lord Recluse!

[/ QUOTE ]
Requests requests... how I love requests... I take them as personal challenges...

1. What is your favorite word?
"Domination"... which is unfortunate considering I've been saddled with the MasterMind Set.

2. What is your least favorite word?
"Mercy"... that word has always irked me greatly... Those of you who ask why I named an Island of mine that would do well to look up the word "Irony" in the dictionary... now THAT word I like.

3. What turns you on?
I believe in survival of the fittest... when choosing a mate I will carefully comb through the local Personal Ads or on line dating data base... I will meticulously select those I find attractive to me... then.. date night... where my minions round up the prospects.. throw them in an arena pit.. then I shall watch them fight one another to the death for the privelege of meeting me in person.. the winner has to face Ghost Widow in a final test of worthiness... Oh... and Roses... I'm a sucker for roses.

4. What turns you off?
When the prospects whine and cry and refuse to fight.. those are the ones I feed to the Arachnoids.. so I suppose even they fulfill a purpose

5. What sound or noise do you love?
I have an MP3 file that I love putting on loop during slow moments... it's of Statesman... he's saying "Damn it Stefan what happened to you?! We used to be friends!".. I swear I could listen to it for hours.. the only thing I would love more is him screaming out "Recluse" like William Shatner did "Khan" in that movie...

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Just between you and me... the sound of eight mechanical legs skittering on the steel Arachnos base floors.. seriously.. it sounds JUST like giant spiders... totally creeps me out.

7. What is your favorite curse word?
This is slightly embarassing but... I love the word "bugger" when used in its naughty form... bugger this... and bugger that! and bugger you! bugger bugger bugger... it always makes me smile.. thank evil for the mask!

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Cartoonist... I have this great idea for a giant spider who makes wise acre remarks as she eats super heroes... her name is Trixie... and the comic title is... wait for it... Parlor Trix! Get it? "Welcome to my parlor said the spider to the fly"? Aw man.. that would be so great.

9. What profession would you not like to participate in?
Sunday School Teacher... not that I'm against religion per se... but I am far too much of a Darwinist to be able to convincingly try to sell Creationism to anyone... Well.. that and every time I hear children singing I want to grab a mallet and two cubic yards of bubble wrap.

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"We refuse to agree to your demands! Remove your armies from our precincts at once or face the consequences!" After all.... I wouldn't want it to be TOO easy...

[ QUOTE ]
Do swan next

[/ QUOTE ]

Your wish is my command... this time... don't get your hopes up for any extended wish granting..

1. What is your favorite word?
"Anti-Gravity"... Actually... let's face it... This one should be EVERY female super hero's favorite word.

2. What is your least favorite word?
"Swan-Dive"... Okay.. I know... even we big league heroes face plant now and then... How come none of the other ones have their own term for it?!

3. What turns you on?
Feathers of course... why else do you think I wear this outfit? It tickles in ALL the right places.

4. What turns you off?
Jealous wives... seriously... he's faithful.. get over it.

5. What sound or noise do you love?
That hilarious CLANG sound a guy's forehead makes when he stares at me too long and walks straight into a lamp post.

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Wolf whistles... I mean come on guys... I can already read your mind and know what's on it... do you really need to announce your Neanderthal Pride March Anthem to the world?

7. What is your favorite curse word?
"GoosePoo"... I hate geese... nothing but swanna-be's.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
I'd love to be a professional singer... I'd call myself Swan Song... Manticore laughs every time I say that... he says that Swan Song is slang for something but he never says what..

9. What profession would you not like to participate in?
Stripper... I mean all the guys undress me with their eyes already.. to be honest when I peek inside their minds their vision of me is actually better than the reality.. I wouldn't want to let them all down.

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"How would you like to exchange those swan feathers for angelic ones?"

Sister Psyche

1. What is your favorite word?
"Walls"... When you have the ability to hear everyone's thoughts on the entire planet... all at once... yes... Walls is a VERY nice word.

2. What is your least favorite word?
"Swan"... for some reason every time it pops up in my husband's thoughts it always sets my teeth on edge.

3. What turns you on?
Manticore's latest arrow head attachment... aaaaand how he introduced me to it... I should have suspected something when he somehow knew there was a quarter at my feet to bend over and pick up when he was 200 feet away.

4. What turns you off?
Short people... Oh wait... I was KIDDING! Seriously honey it was a joke... oh don't go stomp off in a huff again!

5. What sound or noise do you love?
The sound of thoughts in the mind of a person who has been deaf all their life.

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
The sound of thoughts in the mind of a person who is absolutely sure they are right... about everything.

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Curse words take on a different meaning when you are hearing them psychically. Not only do you "hear" them.. you also taste the emotions behind them... smell the corruption of spirit they invoke... see the thoughts and dark fantasies spawned by their echoes.. Asking me what my favorite curse word is is similar to asking which animal's dung you'd most like to have as a flavor of ice cream.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Astronaut... maybe if I get far enough away from the planet I won't be able to hear everyone anymore.

9. What profession would you not like to participate in?
Therapist... People don't really want to know what's going on in their own minds.

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I'd rather he just smile at me.

That's enough for now.. I don't want this to go from amusing to annoying.. although it probably already has. If you want to hear more let me know.. otherwise I'll just let other people get a word (or two) in edge-wise.