Saint

Is awesome. That is all. =)

I got a phone call from my wife 5 minutes before I had to go to work. She was in tears. I asked her what was wrong, and she said CoH was shutting down. I couldn't do anything, I went to work and pretended everything was fine until I got home again.

And thank you as well.

I don't think mere words can express how I feel about all the time and effort you and the people you worked with. Paragon will live in my heart and mind for a long time.

Snowkitty and I have signed up. We've been meaning to, but never did.

Now is the time to do the things you never got around to, right??

I remember a TDC hide and seek event. I was on Lou in an orange jumpsuit style outfit hiding amongst some prisoners in Bricks. I don't remember if I was found or not, but it doesn't matter. I had fun just being part of the group.

For someone like me, who at the time had mood swing issues and serious bouts of depression, the feeling of inclusiveness made me very happy indeed.

I still battle with depression, but for a long time this game helped me, and the lessons I learned I'll be able to take with me.

Where will you be??

I know where I'll be. Right here on Protector, my digital home. I often visited other places, but I always came back.

8 years now, this place has been my home.

But back to the main point, on the Last Day, I will be logged in, sitting in Atlas Park under the statue. I will salute to the game, and everyone who helped make it a place that has been a home for me for all this time.

And I will be logged in as Lou. He was my first character made, my first fifty, my first incarnate.

He, and this game, inspired me to write again. I may try to hunt down and repost that first story.

Its only fitting that he also the last.

I will stay on all day if I have to, but I will be there when the servers go cold and dark.
I always said I would, and I will. It wasn't supposed to be this way. In the morning sneak peaks at new stuff, in the afternoon a bomb dropped on all our heads. Where were the warning signs?? But I guess that doesn't matter now.

I hope to see lots of you there with me, saluting something that was good, because Protector was more then just good, in its own bass ackwards way, its been a great little server, and I will see it off, alone if I have to.

/em Salute

-Cam AKA Saint

And Bookmarked. Hope to see many of you there, when there is a there to be.

There are other ways to keep in touch, I know, but this empty feeling inside is just tearing at me.

I hate it.

It wasn't supposed to end this way. Endings suck ***.

Hey guys.

You can find me at www.facebook.com/cam.doell if you want to like, friend me and stuff.

As far as MMOs go, I have been playing Star Wars:The Old Republic, and I've got characters on Lord of the Rings Online, should anyone want to meet up on those.

I am a sad Saint today.

-Cam

This sucks. I hate the numbness that this news has brought me.

I will miss all of you.

If anyone want to friend me on facebook or something, please let me know in a private message. I will send you my name and such to make it easy to do so, because anyone on Protector counts as a friend to me.

****.

I hate this feeling.

Gah. I looked at the names here and realized I have 2/3 of the people listed on my global friends list. Reading through it made me a little sad, and made me realize how much its the people played and chatted with that made the game so enjoyable to me for all these years.

And yes, while there are new people to chat with, and new players to play with, and with luck there always will be, sometimes the older folks, and the memories of playing this silly old game with them are what keep me here the most.

What I miss the most: its the crazy. Maybe its rose tinted hindsight here, but I remember people organizing and pulling off some of the oddest events, games, challenges and whatever. Win or lose, it was usually a blast just to be involved.

I am glad that there is a next generation of heroes to play this game, and I hope to still be playing when the generation after that comes around too.

I hope to never be a name on a list like this one. Or worse, not listed at all.

To Maud_Dib,

Hail!! And farewell.

Not I.

I likes my name. =D

...wow.

What you want doesn't matter?? I agree with your assessment.

That just pisses me off. >.<

*hugs lots* There is always another option. Your choice looks to be the best one out of a group of **** options.

...

...

... *hugs again*

That sucks. The choices suck.

Its the only thing I can think of to say.

*sends many hugs along*

Author's note: I'm still trying to get into being able to write in first person. It's difficult for me to do, since I have to put myself mentally into the position of the character doing the speaking. This is doubly hard in this case, since I think this may be the most disturbed character I've come up with yet, and what I have written here is just the tip of the iceburg, as it were.

Whee??

Its story time again. I don't really know why I end up doing this from time to time, talking to my victims. It really doesn't make any sense, since none of you will survive anyway. Some weird compulsion, I guess. Maybe I'll go after a shrink one of these days. Keep them around long enough for me to understand why I do this, then finish them off. I'll have to make a note about that...

Ah yes, the story. Just last week I was wandering around the Isles (I love this dimension, by the way, so much freedom to do what I want) just enjoying the scenery, if you know what I mean...

Which reminds me, why do so many female powered individuals wear so little?? It's like they are daring people to stare at them, and then they get all indignant when people like me notice and comment. That is so irritating!! One tried to slap me the other day, I ended up having to shock her a little bit to stop her from trying to take my head off, since I had just seen her rip a chunk of rock out of the group to trow at someone, I think shorting out her brain for a moment was a fair response. Moan once if you agree, twice if you want me to untie you and let you live, and three times if you disagree and want to get another jolt to the chest.

Once, good choice. Hold on, you seem to be drooling a little.

I'm sorry, that doesn't seem to be drool, that seems to be blood. Did you happen to bite of your own tongue while laying there?? I'm sorry, I didn't intend that. I'll have to remember to put something in my next in the mouth of the next person I question. I'm glad it didn't happen earlier, of I wouldn't have gotten any answers out of you at all.

That having been said, its a shame you didn't switch sides when I offered you the chance initially. I do intend to knock this Recluse guy off his throne before Cole gets his act together enough to invade, so you could have gotten in on the ground floor. Oh well, there are more expendable minions and informants where you come from.

... I forgot about the story again, didn't I. So there I was, just walking around, and these idiots in red and white tights come running towards me, weapons blazing. I know that I'm a relative unknown around here still, but really?? Random attacks in the street?? When I put those two fools down, I went back to my walk, only to be interrupted again. I ended up getting shot in the shoulder with an arrow. Another one was reflected off my mask, which I think was lucky, since I think I just missed my eye.

Arrows. Who uses arrows in this day and age. I couldn't even tell where these things were coming from. I got sniped by an archer. I mean, seriously, what the f***!!

This place is so chaotic, it almost makes me wish to be back home, if the organized insanity of Preatoria. At least there you know which side everyone is on, since they all seem to carry their alignment on their chest like a badge of honour. Its simple!!

Anyway, when I got back home I pushed the arrow through and bound up my arm. I'm glad I payed attention in first aid class, even if I didn't pay much attention in my pre-transdimentional briefing.

Thank you again for all the information you have given me on Longbow and Wyvern, as well as your own group. It would have been nice to have a huntsman working for me, but I guess such is not to be.

Its okay though, your pain will be over soon, and if nothing else, think of this as beating the rush, because soon I plan on really getting things in motion.

Don't forget to tell them I sent you.

Thank you, folks. I really didn't expect anything here, since I've been mostly a lurker recently.

Anyway, thank you all again.

Well, here we are. And now, I'm going to tell you a little about myself.

I am not a nice person. I realize you know that, considering you're laying there on the floor twitching, but I thought I'd cover the main point again. I am NOT a nice person, and you got in my way.

Why am I talking to you you ask?? Well, at least I think that's what that gurgling sound was. I'm bored. Most people I meet just scream and run away, and since I think I shorted out your nervous system, you're not really going anywhere.

So where was I again, not a nice person... hrmm, next point. Ah yes, I rather enjoy the power I have here. You're helpless, little man. I have your life in my hands. Frightening, isn't it. Think about that a little. Roll it around in your mind.

...

...

There you go. I see your eyes bulging. My words have sunk in. I was sent here, you know. Your death is planned and carried out. The most interesting thing, and I don't mind if you know, since you're going to die soon, is that I'm playing both sides against each other. I don't really care who wins, as long as I'm still standing when the dust settles.

Loyalist... Resistance... it doesn't matter to me. Both Cole and Scott are fools, blinded by their own goals and ambitions. They won't see me coming for them.

Here, let me show you something, I'll just remove my mask for a moment...

...

... well that is most rude. I decide to be a little more personal, a little more intimate with you, and you start screaming. I'm going to have to taze you again, bro, and then you'll be back to twitching and trying to not choke on your own drool.

Oh, wait, I was planning on doing that anyway.

Well, I'll just put this back on... there we go, and a nice little shock directly to your heart.

Its a nice place you have here. Shame its going to burn down while you lay there. Horrible way to die I hear. At least its not me.

I'm still thinking Prime would be a good choice.

I do play that other Ring based game that seems to have a similar model. It's not a bad set-up from what I've seen. I shall at this time remain cautiously optimistic.

Sorry to be late to the party here, but...

... I have my fingers crossed for the 20% as well.

*hugs lots*