MorganaFiolett

Last night in Pocket D:

Morgana Fiolett arrived back in Paragon City after her latest trip back to the UK and went straight to Pocket D. There she got into conversation with another magic-user at the bar, and mentioned Melchior, the Bone Eater. This caught the attention of Enlightened Falcon who was sitting at the bar. He explained that Melchior was apparently looking to sacrifice his friend Glitterfrost and Morgana offered her assistance, providing him with a rough map showing the last known location of Melchior's base, and promising to try and obtain details of his rituals from her coven back home. She also offered to distract Melchior's companion Violet Morgan at the appropriate moment so that Enlightened Falcon wouldn't have to deal with two necromancers.

Being essentially a blunt and tactless person, Morgana then berated Enlightened Falcon for sitting in a bar when a girl he so obviously liked was in trouble. And she said he was cute. Which may not have had the desired effect.

Paragon City Post, 5th March 2008:
Showbiz Agent Found Dead In Office

Just a little animation I made of my boyfriend's character Vox Doom:

Work Out with Vox!

Ok, a page of this week's Post has just been posted in the "In the news" thread.

Coincidentally, I did the Britanic memorial issue on a Wednesday too. If people supply enough content, I'll try and make it a weekly thing.

EDIT- if there are any changes you want, let me know and I'm happy to ninja-edit the file

A page from this week's Paragon City Post, featuring gossip on Comtessa Bathory and a report on a hit and run in Steel Canyon. (Thanks to Liz Bathory and Pointless for supplying stories)

Paragon City Post, 20th February 2008, Page 9.

Do you mind if I re-write it a little Pointless? I need it to be just a weee bit longer to fit on the page I'm planning...

Thanks Liz, I'll be working on something for you soon

Since Britanic very kindly gave me permission to take on the Paragon City Post when he left, and since I actually enjoy the process of writing and laying out things like that, and since I'm too much of an altoholic to actually manage to be there for most RP stories...

If anybody has a story that they would like to appear in the Paragon City Post, please let me know (by PM, in this thread or on the Unionverse Wiki- my page or the Post's) and I will be happy to do it for you.

If you don't want to write the actual article yourself, just give me the details (including screenshots and quotes if possible) and I'll be happy to write it up as one of the staff reporters.
If you want it written by you in character, then the character can get a freelancer's byline. If you want to write it as one of the staff reporters listed on the Wiki or under a random name, go ahead (just not as Mandi Steinman, since she's my character Maid Stone.)

I'd also like to do some other things besides headline stories... the small articles buried somewhere inside... a fashion centre spread (that could actually be very entertaining).. a letters page... any contributions and/or suggestions will be very welcome.

Paragon City Post- 13th February 2008.

A report on the weekend's crackdown campaign ((my IC take on the double XP event)) and coverage of Britanic's memorial service.

Front Page

Page 2 (Full Memorial Article)

This issue also unveils the Paragon City Post's new look.

Thanks for the identities- I was mostly right.

[ QUOTE ]
I'm not sure what quotes would be gained as I thought it was a private affair not a public event. I could be wrong though.

[/ QUOTE ]

The reporter could easily have contacted known colleagues and friends of Britanic for memorial quotes away from the actual memorial service. I would like to include some quotes but none of my characters met Britanic in-game, and I certainly don't want to put words in anybody's mouth.

Can somebody tell me who's who in this picture ? I don't know half these characters at all... I think I've got it right but I want to be sure.

It's for the Paragon City Post- since Britanic didn't have time to cover his own memorial I thought I should try and do it justice.

Also if any of the players of those characters would like to post here or PM me with any quotes the paper can use from the memorial- eulogy quotes or whatever? that would be appreciated. I'm hoping to have the article done this evening.

Following on from last night's events at GG, I present Mandi Steinman (Maid Stone)'s article/s:

(Warning- fairly large image. This is supposed to be a centre page double spread.)

In The Shadow Of Galaxy Girl

[ QUOTE ]
.. Or I would turn into a villain I fear

[/ QUOTE ]

Well if you do (or are), then I think you may be pretty much restricted to Pocket D. Although there have been attempts to organise a regular villain-side RP, the Rogue Isles isn't laid out for socialising so as far as I know nothing really took off.

I know some people do like to play their villains in-character (I do, on both servers) so you may be able to find a few here and there.

Union has more roleplayers than Defiant. The main places to find them, of an evening, would be at the Galaxy Girl statue or in Pocket D, although recently I have even found RP under Atlas.

EDIT- Best thing to do is keep an eye on Local chat. If you spot people roleplaying, you can either just flat out go up and introduce yourself, or find something to emote over in the area, so that they can tell you're a roleplayer too.

Now that I can see it, I think it's very pretty and stylish.

I would comment, but I can't see it because I don't have a Deviant Art account and it says it's filtered

That was artistic license because she would have a long dress if she could have a long dress. It's actually just the standard "long" skirt. *sigh* But yeah, I asked him to draw her how she is in my mind, rather than strictly in game.

I love the Blind Girl, thank you- that's just how I imagined her, growing up in a dark cellar, all viciousness and hatred...

Well... they're heavier than you might expect. Personally, I wasn't ever able to wear the visor down unless I was going somewhere.. If you're planning to wear it for a considerable length of time, it might be more comfortable (although more labour-intensive) to make a helmet from scratch.

I would suggest, from looking at the screenshot, a more comfortable option might be to start with something like a balaclava and build the front part of the mask- with papier mache as DavidG suggested or with latex- and attach it to the balaclava. You can then either leave the back unmodified- it does look quite close-fitting in the screenie- or make a separate back part so that the balaclava can stretch between the two sections for you to put it on, but once it's on the two parts look seamless.

EDIT- Vox just suggested a boxing helmet as a framework- they're quite close fitting so it could be worth looking into.

Are you used to wearing a motorbike helmet?
I ask because I found it very difficult to find one I could wear comfortably (I'm apparently restricted to about two makes because of the shape and size of my head!) so it might be an idea to go into a bike shop and ask to try on a similar helmet before you bid on one.

We don't know if it's officially getting started again yet- fingers crossed!

Well, this post has inspired me to put all my current costumes of all my current characters on t'interweb. You can find them here on my very simple new site (but be warned there's lots of them!)

(Clueless yes; Heathers might not be vicious enough...)

--- The story continues ---

The young blonde officer who had shown the lawyer in was waiting for Henson in the hallway. "Shall I get that tape transcribed for you, Detective?"

He nodded slowly as he pulled the door closed. "Wait here, though, I want an officer outside this door for as long as they're in there. I'll send somebody over to relieve you in a minute."

She frowned at him. "You don't think that sweet girl would do anything to her lawyer, do you?"

"Sweet girl? You know what she's here for, don't you?"

The young woman sighed. "I know what they're saying, Detective, but I used to babysit her when she was little. I just can't believe it!"

He looked at her sharply. "Well perhaps you shouldn't..."

A thump and a short, sharp scream from inside the room cut him off. Henson swore as he dropped the file, snatched his gun from its holster and gestured to the young officer to open the door.

Inside, Honey was standing by the desk, wiping blood from her face with the sleeve of her jacket. The lawyer lay on the floor, twitching and gurgling in a growing pool of blood, with a pen embedded in his neck. Honey looked straight at Henson and slowly blew a pink sticky bubble. It took all of his self-control not to pull the trigger when the bubble popped.

"Damn lawyer," Honey commented in a light voice, "Wanted t'make me say I'm crazy. I'm not crazy, detective. I just did what any girl would do."

Out of the corner of his eye, Henson could see the young officer beside him struggling not to throw up.

"Go and get backup," he told her softly, not taking his eyes off the vicious teenager. The officer ran off down the corridor.

Honey sighed dramatically and sat on the edge of the desk, her slender toned legs swinging idly. "Mom's gonna be so mad, I bet she paid good money for that loser," she said. "She'd better make sure she gets a decent replacement."

Cautiously, Henson took a step into the room, towards the injured lawyer. Honey started examining her fingernails.

"Y'know, my mom's gonna be mad I'm here at all, it's so unfair, I mean with it being so obviously justified and all, you're really just wasting your time. You oughta concentrate on catching real criminals, there's actually dangerous people out on the streets right now and you're wasting taxpayers' money interviewing me, I mean, come on! This is just like that time they stopped my daddy and tried to say he was speeding, only that was like, so totally boring, but it's just the same, because they couldn't even prove a thing, and besides it was like majorly urgent, so it was okay anyway."

Henson edged further into the room. He couldn't hear the lawyer breathing any more, at least not with Honey prattling on.

"You're so totally wasting your time," she said, suddenly looking up. "That guy was gone before I sat down. I always get things right."

"Yeah, well, you know." He tried to think of something neutral to say. She seemed calm right now, but she could obviously flip like a switch. "It's... just red tape." Her eyes flashed the moment he mentioned the colour red and he nearly flinched. "I'm a cop," he continued hastily, "I gotta check these things."

She shrugged, and inwardly he sighed with relief.

"Go ahead," she said, "I'm not gonna stop you."

Armed officers appeared in the doorway. Finally, with their guns covering Honey, Henson was able to look at the lawyer. His expensive fountain pen had punctured his jugular, and just as the girl had said, he was dead.

"He had good taste in pens at least," she commented. "Have you seen the adverts for those? They stab one straight through a soda can and then carry on writing. Y'oughta keep that pen, they're expensive. My daddy's got shares in the company. Can I go home yet?"

He looked up at her. "Get her out of here," he ordered the gunmen in the doorway, "Keep a close eye on her. Don't let her near any pens."

It's a very nice start, and I find it quite interesting. There are a few typo/grammatical improvements ("I" should always be capitalised, for example) which will make it a little easier to read. I assume you copy/pasted it from somewhere since the lines break in strange places, but that's easily fixed.

Aside from those technical points, my main point of advice would be the standard admonition to fiction writers- "Show, don't tell". If you do this, the reader gets to experience the story through the character, rather than being told what's happening. I think it works especially well when you're using first person narrative like this.

Taking the first paragraph as an example, I really like the opening phrase, but you could make it much more dramatic and gripping by adding more description.

Where you have "I arise in a burnt, smoking room", I would recommend describing it more fully at that point, so that the reader can build up an image straight away. At the moment, we don't know it's a lab until a little later on.

Finding the bodies could also be expanded. Instead of saying "the horror of my co-workers lying dead on the floor" I personally might describe finding one unrecognisable body, and perhaps something small and identifying survived- a partially melted nametag, or a recognisable ring, for example- and give that one co-worker a name so it becomes personal to the reader as well as to the character, then describe the character gradually realising there are other bodies. The key point here is to describe it enough that the reader thinks it's horrific, instead of simply being told that it is.
This seems to be a very important moment for the story, so you really can make a pretty big deal of it.

You do have some good descriptive phrases in this already, if you expand those critical moments so that the reader can experience it more, this could be really good. I would be pretty interested in reading more.

(The Sweetest is my latest new character, a Dual Blades/Willpower Brute on Defiant. This is my first sketch of her and the following is the beginning of her story...

EDIT- Vox pointed out her top looked weird so I improved it slightly: Improved sketch

Comments and feedback welcome!)

---
The photographs spread across the table told a gruesome story. They almost made Detective Henson sick, but the girl on the other side of the table seemed entirely unconcerned.

"Honey," he leaned forward and pushed one of the pictures right in front of her. "Honey, I want you to look at this."

The redhead rolled her eyes.

"Why?" she asked, ignoring the pictures and looking straight at him.

Henson met her gaze. "Because I want you to tell me why you did it, Honey."

She laughed. "Isn't that, like, totally obvious?"

He looked at her, trying to keep his expression neutral. There was nothing obvious about this case. Until a few days ago, Honey Hallam, aged 18, had been a popular student at Johnsonville High School, leader of the cheerleading squad and voted "Most Likely to Succeed." The newspapers quoted her headteacher calling her the sweetest girl he ever knew, yet now she was sitting in an interview room charged with fourteen counts of homicide, chewing bubble gum and examining her manicure.

"For the record, Honey. We need to have it all on tape."

She sighed extravagantly.

"Everybody knew Johnny was going to take me to the prom. I mean, that was like, totally obvious, from day one, he's the quarterback, I'm the cheerleader, it's, like, totally meant to be. Then she showed up, all glasses and books and "I'm president of the debate team don't you know" and I guess it must be true what Cynthia said about her being a witch and all, because there's totally no way he would have looked at her unless she cast some sort of spell on him, and the next thing I knew he was like totally blanking me, which is like, way out of line. Anyway, when I went to the mall to pick up my prom dress, I saw this totally awesome store that had these daggers, and they matched my dress perfectly, so I bought them and these dinky little holders that go at the top of your stockings, and I took them to the prom, because Cynthia lent me this book on witchcraft, I didn't read it all, but it said that a spell could be broken by, like, killing the witch that cast it, so I figured once Louisa was out of the way Johnny would be totally into me again."

She stopped speaking to blow a bubble. Henson blinked slowly and thanked every God ever named that the interview was being recorded. He'd probably have to play it back at half speed to keep track of the cheerleader's story.

"So anyway, I got to the prom like totally fashionably late and all, and they were dancing up at the front and they were completely all over each other and it was totally disgusting, y'know? Somebody gave me a glass of punch, I would never drink that stuff, I mean, everybody knows it gets spiked by some idiot freshman five minutes in, but it was bright red and she was wearing white, so I thought it would be useful, y'know, so I went over and told her I was gonna cut in and dance with Johnny, and she was all "No way!" so I threw the punch over her, then I realised that red was totally her colour, so I pulled my new blades out and gave her a makeover. I thought Johnny would be totally stoked, but obviously the [censored] got some other witch to cast the spell 'cause he started totally wailing on me, so I gave him a makeover too. He always did look good in red, I mean it's just as well since that's the school team colours, but he wasn't wearing it that night. Some other people got involved, so I gave them all a makeover in team colours, I guess I was just feeling generous!"

She blew another bubble and looked at him insouciantly. He opened his mouth to speak, but somehow after that torrent of words anything he could say seemed inadequate. She raised an eyebrow. A knock at the door saved him.

"Detective Henson? Miss Hallam's lawyer has arrived." The lawyer, standing in the doorway next to the uniformed officer, was a smartly dressed young man who looked vaguely nervous.

Henson leaned over to the tape recorder. "Interview terminated at 13.42."

He stood up and gathered the photographs together. As he turned to leave there was a pop as Honey blew another bubble.

"Y'know what Detective? I think you'd look good in red, too."

A shiver ran down his spine. "Good luck," he whispered to the lawyer, "You're going to need it."