Zubenelgenubi

Here's a story that I wrote some time back. It's not my first attempt at CoX fiction, but it's the first one fit for general consumption. Lemmie know what you think...

---------------

THE SIDEKICK


Blue crept through the shadows of the alleyway behind the old building. It was really dark there. She was as quiet as a little girl could ever be (which actually was pretty quiet). Until just a few minutes ago, a lone streetlight had lit the corner just beyond the fence. A well aimed rock had taken care of that.

The worst thing about being a sidekick, Blue thought, was how dirty it always was. Even though she could see pretty good in the dark, and even though she was being extra-extra careful, her hands got covered in slimy icky gunk from the outside of a smelly dumpster.

But Super Amazing Man was counting on her. She had the camera, and the phone, and all the tape.


At first her mother had wigged-out when she saw how dirty Blue’s clothes were after a night of fighting crime. It didn’t even seem to matter that Blue was doing important sidekick stuff for the Super Amazing Team. Sometimes it seemed her mom didn't listen to anything she ever said.

So Blue snuck out of the house one night and went down the street to the place where people left clothes for the poor people and picked out some special clothes just for sidekicking in. She had a nice blue T-shirt with yellow stars that was a little big on her and a pair of black pants. She kept a black mask from Halloween and wore that too, because that's what sidekicks did. Blue always washed her clothes herself with the hose in the back yard if they got dirty.

Blue looked up and saw a little flash of light behind an open window. Sparkle Motion was already inside. Sure, it’s EASY for her, Blue thought. SHE can fly!

Once Blue asked Sparkle and Super Amazing Man why they couldn’t just carry her when they flew somewhere. She sooooooo wanted to fly! But S.A.M. just said, “You’re getting way too heavy to carry, sweetie.” But this didn't make any sense because he picked up really big heavy things all the time! Blue threw her best fit and really cried for real, but nothing she said would change their minds. It was so unfair.

Still, Sparkle was always nice about letting Blue see the best way to go. She jumped up on a box and climbed the fire escape to the window. It was locked but some of the glass was broken. Blue reached in and unlocked it. She had to be real careful not to get cut.


What a yucky warehouse! But it looked like the place where the nice law-lady on the phone had told her the bad guys would be. (It was one of her jobs as the Official Amazing Sidekick to make the phone calls.) Some really bad drugs were in the warehouse. The Super Amazing Team had to make sure that the police would find the bad drugs so they wouldn’t make anyone sick.


Super Amazing Man and Sparkle Motion were inside waiting for her. Blue looked around for Mr. Shadow. She spotted him hiding between a couple of big boxes. She smiled and waved. Although Mr. Shadow didn’t wave back, she knew he saw her. Mr. Shadow was not really as spooky as he pretended to be, unless he was mad at you.

Now that everyone on the Super Amazing Team was ready to go, Mr. Shadow went on ahead to scout the way. He could disappear from one shadow and reappear in another whenever he wanted to. Blue followed, staying behind the boxes wherever she could. Being little helped out a lot.

The warehouse had a lot of guards, but they were spaced out in pairs, usually. S.A.M. and Sparkle took them out easy. Sparkle would use her bright lights and energy beams to take out one bad guy, and S.A.M. would just hit the other with a big crate. Then Blue would use the duck tape in her backpack to tie them up.

The law-lady on the phone had told her that all these bad guys were part of the same family. Blue thought that was really funny because there sure were a lot of them! Maybe they were Catholic. There was a Catholic girl in her class in school, and she had 5 older brothers and 2 older sisters and one younger sister who was still just a baby and didn’t go to school yet. And the girl had lots of uncles and aunties too. But not this many! Maybe these bad people were Super Catholics or something which is why they had a super big family.

One time Blue hurried too fast and went around a corner before S.A.M. and Sparkle Motion were ready. She didn’t see the bad guy standing behind a big box and just walked past him. She didn’t even know he was there until his gun made a loud “click” noise and he said a bad word. But before he could shoot at her, the man made a little scream. Mr. Shadow had reached out from the shadows and grabbed him. Mr. Shadow was good like that. “Watching her back” is how he always said it.

The bad guy was pulled backwards into the shadows. Blue couldn't see what happened to him, but there were scarey noises and then the man fell forward and didn't move anymore.

Blue shuddered. This was when Mr. Shadow was at his extra creepiest. Even after all this time she was still kinda scared of him.


Finally, Blue reached the place where the meeting was taking place. She was ahead of Sparkle and S.A.M., but that was part of their plan.

An old bald guy in a white suit was talking to someone wearing nothing but a pair of red pants. He had lots and lots of tattoos. Blue had seen people with tattoos before, but never so many. (She had once asked her mom if she could get a tattoo, but her mom had gotten real mad. Blue didn't understand why, and didn't think it was fair. But Super Amazing Man told her later that her mom was just looking out for her, kinda like Mr. Shadow. She still didn't get it. Sometimes adults could be so confusing.)


Blue crept real close to the men and pulled her mom's camera out of her Sidekick Bag. Lots of other guys were standing around looking bored, but nobody saw her. The nice law-lady had told her that the police needed an “even-dance” before they could take the bad people away. Blue had gotten real good with the camera, and she filmed them for a few minutes. They were talking about keys that were low and something getting cut. Probably they needed a knife to open the boxes that the bad drugs were in. But if they had keys for the boxes, then why did they need a knife? Nobody was dancing, but S.A.M. had told her to just film everything and not worry about that part.

Then the man in the red pants gave the bald man a bag with lots of money in it. Blue guessed this was the Daddy of the family. It was too bad, she thought. Why couldn't all daddy's be nice like her daddy had been? This one looked really mean, and he used a lot of bad words too.

Suddenly Sparkle Motion flew real fast around the corner. All the bad people looked up at her but Blue closed her eyes and turned away. FLASH! Now nobody could see anything except for Blue.

And there was Mr. Shadow behind them. He grabbed them all in a bunch of his scarey shadow tentacles to keep them from running away. Super Amazing Man also flew into the room, and between him, Sparkle Motion, and Mr. Shadow, the bad guys all went down really fast.

Blue had a lot of work to do taping them all up. After the first one, S.A.M. Reminded her that she needed to call 911 on the phone.

When everyone was ready for the police to find, Blue took the memory stick out of her Mom's camera and left it with a note. Then she ran back through the building and climbed out the same window that she'd come in. Sirens and flashing lights were coming so she ran to the tram line as fast as she could, brushing the rust off of her hands that she got from climbing down from the fire escape.

The Super Amazing Team waited behind to talk to the police. They couldn't be seen with Blue because if they were then everyone would know that she was the Super Amazing Sidekick. Mr. Shadow had been really extra serious when he'd explained to her how her mom could get hurt and maybe even her friends from school. So nobody knew about Blue except for the Super Amazing Team. Most of the time not even the bad guys ever saw her.


Riding the tram late at night was really easy too. Her friend Julie didn't believe her that she really did this all the time. Julie said that kids weren't allowed to ride without adults with them. But Julie didn't realize that grown-ups almost never paid any attention to her most of the time. They never listened to kids anyway did they? So why would they watch what they were doing? Blue's mom always bought a monthly Tram-Pass for the two of them, so it wasn't even like stealing for her to sneak on and off like she did.

Blue made it home safe and sound. “Without incident,” as Mr. Shadow would say. He talked a lot like a guy on a TV cop show. (Sometimes it would make Blue giggle, but she was careful to not let him hear her).

Tonight was good because it wasn't too late. Just a little after midnight. Sometimes the team was out fighting crime all night long. But she was always very careful to be home before it was time for school the next morning. One time she wasn’t and her Mom was really super upset! She had ever called the police!

“Blue Ocean Alvarez, Don’t you EVER do that to me again!” her Mother had shouted when Blue got home that one time. It was weird, because she was angry and crying and hugging and kissing her too, all at the same time! She got spanked, but then she got ice cream. And she was grounded for a long time, but her Mom paid so much attention to her afterwards that it was like she wasn't. It was because her Mom was so weird that Blue stopped telling her about all the adventures of the Super Amazing Team.

But she always wrote down everything that happened in her diary. She kept it right next to the Super Amazing Headquarters there on her nightstand.


Blue hid her sidekick clothes way down under her bed and got back into her jammies. She was just about to turn off the light when everyone finally got back.

Sparkle Motion flew up to the window. Her lights were down low so nobody would see her, but she was still real sparkly. She couldn't help it. Blue opened the window quickly so she could fly in. Mr. Shadow stepped out of the dark spot between her closet and dresser. He usually waited until Sparkle or S.A.M. came in, so he wouldn't scare Blue. Super Amazing Man flew in next, and Blue shut the window.

It was a school night, so they didn't waste too much time. After a quick peck on the cheek and a toss of Blue's hair, Sparkle flew into the Super Amazing Headquarters. Mr. Shadow went in next, all smokey and spooky. He never gave her any kisses or hugs, but Blue knew he cared about her anyway.

Super Amazing Man gave her a big hug before he went in. Blue held on to him for a long time. She didn't like to let the others on the team see her hugging him for so long but sometimes Blue couldn't help it. He smelled just like her Dad.

Blue still really missed him.

It had been tough for her Mom too. Sometimes Blue heard her crying when her Mom didn't think she was awake. Her Mom still kept his uniform and his badge in a box at the top of her closet where she thought Blue couldn't find it.


“You did really good tonight, Kiddo,” Super Amazing Man told her. “Everyone will be a lot happier without those bad drugs on the street. Colleen told me to tell you thanks for the help.”

Blue hugged him a little tighter.

“OK now, time for all Amazing Sidekicks to be in bed. You want to do well on that math test tomorrow.”

Blue climbed into bed. “I always get A's on my math tests. You know that,” she said.

“Nonetheless,” Super Amazing Man said, smiling, as he tucked her in.

And with that, Super Amazing Man, leader of the most awesome Super Amazing Team in the whole city, swooped up, gave a little wave, and whooshed down into the Super Amazing Headquarters. Another day of fighting crime was over.

Blue reached over, picked up the Headquarters, and pushed it under the bed. Then she turned out the light.

Waaay back when I got Hover on Zube, I didn't realize it could go up and down. I just thought you'd hover along at your current level. So I used it to cross chasms in my way, and dreamed of the day I could get full-fledged fly.

But once I was "stuck" in Perez Park behind the tall wall and couldn't jump over it. I needed to leave the zone, and the zone exit was right there behind the wall, but I had to run halfway back through the whole gorram park (full of big spawns that I didn't yet know how to avoid very well) until I could get through one of the openings in the wall, then run all the gorram way back up to the zone exit. Took me half an hour.

I do too.

I needed a level 10 Karma knockback resistance IO for a new toon. Uncrafted, it was selling for 4 million. Crafted, it was selling for 45 million.

But there were ZERO for sale at 4 million, so I'd have had to place the bid and perhaps wait a day or two or three to get one. But hey, I can just go and get one for 1 or 2 hero merits and save myself 4 million, and get it now, right?

Wrong. Because for 2 hero merits I can buy a LoTG +Rech recipe at level 25 and sell it for 180 million. Which I did. Then I splurge 50 million on the crafted Karma and come out 130 million ahead. Plus, I can keep rolling with my new toon without having to wait around for perhaps days.

Easy decision.

[PART II]

17:32:12 [Broadcast] Sorrows: Now you sound like my 11 year old
17:32:15 [Broadcast] Shamyra: hows that workin out for ya?
17:32:23 [Broadcast] Cobalt Acinacean: Praenglish?
17:32:31 [League] Zubenelgenubi: NEURON MY TARGET
17:32:37 [League] Vylara: which neuron?
17:32:45 [Broadcast] Scarborough Fair: Now with 50% more goatee.
17:32:46 [Broadcast] Joyrock: he fall down and turn blue.. oh hes allready blue
17:32:52 [League] Celestial Smasher: All of them.
17:33:00 [Broadcast] Red Dragon Ninja: (pulls off anti matters mask) hey its the guy from that thomas dolby video !
17:33:03 [Broadcast] Destructeon: These Praetorians sure love their clones and robots.
17:33:21 [Broadcast] Shamyra: and losing badly
17:33:28 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: SO HOW MANY NEURONS *DOES* IT TAKE TO SCREW UP A LIGHT-BULB?
17:33:33 [Broadcast] Celestial Smasher: Well, to be fair, chicks dig giant robots.
17:33:41 [Broadcast] Vylara: 42?
17:33:47 [Broadcast] Asp's Fangs: thats a big ****** robot
17:33:50 [Broadcast] Red Dragon Ninja: they do ?!?
17:33:52 [Broadcast] Cobalt Acinacean: I think we found out how many it takes to screw up an invasion, for what it's worth.
17:34:08 [Broadcast] Celestial Smasher: They do.
17:34:15 [Broadcast] Master Gabriel: COLE, I mean really we already whupped this guy. You might as well just throw his cat gitl girl friend at us

17:34:38 [Admin] NCsoft_Freitag: Masses of Praetorian Troops are attacking St. Martial! If those factories go under, the Rogue Isles will be vulnerable to Paragon City because you won't have infrastructure, even if you push back the Praetorians. So you have to get there now!

17:34:41 [Broadcast] Joyrock: ya she is at least easy on the eyes
17:34:46 [Broadcast] Vylara: she likes her couch too much
17:34:57 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: So with anti-matter down Cole is 0 for 7. When we whup all these Neurons, will it be 0 for 8, or does this just count for earlier?
17:35:20 [Broadcast] Shamyra: why couldnt MM get cloned?
17:36:51 [Broadcast] Bitterfreeze: neuron's awefully quiet this time
17:36:56 [Broadcast] Shamyra: you got quiet Neuron....beatings bringing back painful memories?
17:36:57 [Alliance Network]Ultraamann: awesome.. 27 seconds from click to actual power activation
17:36:57 [Broadcast] Destructeon: I don't think they'll be able to hold St. Martial. That's a bit like trying to occupy Iraq.
17:37:06 [Alliance Network]Deadboy: yep

17:37:06 [Admin] Ms. Liberty: Heroes of Peregrine Island! ATTENTION!

17:37:11 [Broadcast] Shamyra: it seemed like only 5 minutes ago......
17:37:11 [Broadcast] Scarborough Fair: <.<
17:37:18 [Broadcast] Shamyra: yes dear?
17:37:28 [Broadcast] Deadboy: hey Ms. Liberty can I get your digits?
17:37:28 [Broadcast] Scarborough Fair: If I stand at attention now, I'll get killed.
17:37:34 [Broadcast] Star Knight: ears on
17:37:41 [Broadcast] Master Gabriel: waiting
17:37:50 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: To busy killing
17:37:50 [Broadcast] Ice Empress: attention for i miss liberty will now say nothing at all

17:37:54 [Admin] Ms. Liberty: A huge SURGE of Dimensional activity has been detected in your vicenity!

17:37:54 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: Ms. Liberty, you *just* missed anti-Matter. sorry!
17:38:00 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Epic
17:38:03 [Broadcast] Cobalt Acinacean: "Vicinity".
17:38:06 [League] Vylara: hmm surge of dimensional activity does not sound good

17:38:13 [Admin] Ms. Liberty: that's what I said..

17:38:16 [Broadcast] Silent Wills: Don't worry, its just "Barry" cloning himself
17:38:33 [Broadcast] Shamyra: Could you close it for us? Kinda busy
17:38:36 [Broadcast] Will of the Beast: lol, I still need a team - though with my luck dunno how ling I'll stay XD
17:38:48 [BMT of Champion]Peppermint: Ms liberty is talking to herself.

17:38:57 [Admin] Ms. Liberty: The presence of multiple superpowered entities has been detected! Although...strange...

17:39:12 [Broadcast] Scarborough Fair: Yes, that would be us.
17:39:15 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Stranger than me?
17:39:16 [Broadcast] Cobalt Acinacean: It's Paragon City.
17:39:16 [Broadcast] Shamyra: they have all been strange
17:39:16 [Broadcast] Ice Empress: ms liberty will you go to prom with me?
17:39:18 [Broadcast] Shamyra: nothin new
17:39:22 [Broadcast] TempestWind: superpowered or strange?
17:39:36 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: guys - don't taunt the ones on *our* side
17:39:39 [Broadcast] Silent Wills: Dude, cardboard letters taped to teh building. It'll get you on TV.
17:39:39 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Or strangely superpowered?

17:39:39 [Admin] Dominatrix: Such a boring, boring drone aren't you darling?

17:39:45 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: DO NOT WANT
17:39:49 [Broadcast] Will of the Beast: "strange" is that all these so-called "heroes" and whatnot - talkin to arachnos too - aren't doing squat now.
17:39:57 [Broadcast] Stone-Wall: it's ok..it's just Charlie sheen you;re detecting
17:39:58 [Broadcast] Shamyra: kick her *** Seabass!
17:40:03 [Broadcast] Star Knight: ooooo. whip me. beat me. make me write bad checks.
17:40:04 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: MOTHER!!!
17:40:15 [Broadcast] Celestial Smasher: Sticks and stones may break my bones...
17:40:17 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: WHERE'S MY CAKE?? YOU FINISH IT YET?

17:40:33 [Admin] Dominatrix: It's obvious that brute force will not win the day here...

17:40:40 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Sure it will.
17:40:48 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: I'll just punch everything till it stops moving.

17:40:50 [Admin] Dominatrix: what this requires is a...*ladies touch*

17:40:57 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Are you coming onto me?
17:40:58 [Broadcast] Cobalt Acinacean: Stop hittin' on me.
17:41:03 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: Today is a SPECIAL OCCASION! It's the 0th Anniversary of us KICKING YOUR BUTTS!!
17:41:03 [Broadcast] Bitterfreeze: ohh..touch...nm
17:41:06 [Broadcast] Cobalt Acinacean: I saw'er first, Horus.
17:41:09 [Broadcast] Shamyra: We aalready fought Marauder
17:41:14 [Broadcast] TempestWind: Brute force has been working great so far
17:41:15 [Broadcast] Shamyra: it didnt work
17:41:21 [Broadcast] Joyrock: ill let you touch me .. if you can
17:41:21 [Broadcast] Scarborough Fair: Praetorian definitions are a little different, too. Like for "lady".
17:41:22 [Broadcast] Shamyra: what else do ya got?
17:41:24 [Broadcast] Master Gabriel: Sorry ladies touch won't work either we already punked Marauder

17:41:24 [Admin] Dominatrix: I think it's time for ladies night...

17:41:30 [Broadcast] Shamyra: sweet
17:41:35 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: oh and BTW "Mother"... WHERE ARE YOU GONNA FIND A LADY??
17:41:36 [Broadcast] Cobalt Acinacean: I think she plays for the other team.
17:41:42 [Broadcast] Ball of Thunder: free drinks for the ladies
17:41:43 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: NM Cobalt I think we're on the wrong team for her.
17:41:51 [Broadcast] Cobalt Acinacean: See above.
17:41:57 [Broadcast] Shamyra: she is going to keep the women heroes busy with 2 for ones all night.
17:42:38 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Well if you just look at me from an angle and squint....and get really really really drunk...
17:42:56 [Broadcast] Shamyra: wow, you're right!

17:42:57 [Admin] Dominatrix: Darling...there's not enough Enriche in the world...

17:43:06 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Ouch there goes my ego
17:43:24 [Broadcast] Shamyra: Neuron will clone it for you
17:43:30 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Maybe I can just flirt with her till she gets disgusted and leaves? like the rest of my dates...
17:43:39 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: Still waiting on the "ladies"...
17:44:35 [Broadcast] Ice Empress: lol
17:44:36 [Broadcast] Shamyra: is this a bad time to sell?
17:45:36 [Broadcast] DSF Shrapnel: we got our own awesome ladies i just saw Amygdala kicking some teeth in
17:45:55 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Well she is a tyrant
17:46:07 [Broadcast] Cobalt Acinacean: And bearded.
17:46:10 [Broadcast] Amygdala: Rawr, etc.
17:46:18 [Broadcast] Shamyra: we find her yet?
17:46:18 [Broadcast] Stone-Wall: did we win yet?
17:46:21 [Broadcast] Vylara: lol
17:46:25 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: looking for her
17:46:33 [Broadcast] Cobalt Acinacean: North, Monster Island.
17:46:36 [Broadcast] Mr. Permadebt: Monster Isle.

17:46:37 [Admin] Bobcat: Praetor Duncan...I booooorrre of waiting for these barbarians.

17:46:39 [League] Mordachai: Found her
17:46:43 [Broadcast] Cobalt Acinacean: Praetorians with Domi sighted.
17:46:44 [League] Mordachai: my location
17:46:47 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Oh shtznl
17:46:52 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: kitty kitty kitty kitty
17:46:52 [Broadcast] Deadboy: Cutlass Isles
17:46:53 [Broadcast] Vylara: what? Bobcat got off her couch?!
17:46:54 [Broadcast] Mordachai: Cutlass
17:46:54 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Bobcat and Dom
17:47:03 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: brb gettin my video camera
17:47:09 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: heeeeere kitty kitty kitty... *can opener noise*

17:47:19 [Admin] Lord Recluse: Villains! All of the Praetors have come to Cap Au Diable through the tear in the universes! DESTROY THEM!

17:47:26 [Broadcast] Shamyra: So we got killed by a gunslinger.

17:47:32 [Admin] Bobcat: Meow what are you talking about?

17:47:57 [Broadcast] Scarborough Fair: That's "What are you talking about, nyaa~?

17:48:13 [Broadcast] Shamyra: its getting busy in here huh?
17:48:23 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Get up here right meow

17:48:29 [Admin] Bobcat: Deadboy...such an...a-purrrr-ropriate name...

17:48:34 [Broadcast] Scarborough Fair: Right nyao.
17:48:48 [League] Vylara: she's got the hots for you Db
17:48:57 [League] Vylara: Black Swan here too
17:49:45 [Broadcast] TempestWind: Black swan is here too
17:49:46 [Broadcast] Bitterfreeze: lag is getting worse
17:49:51 [Broadcast] Celestial Smasher: Hey Black Swan, after I finish beating you to a pulp, how about dinner and then we go see Thor?
17:49:54 [Broadcast] Stone-Wall: WINNING
17:49:56 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Is it your looks or am I moving in slow motion, Duncan?
17:50:02 [Broadcast] Shamyra: I will pwn them all with my eventual attacks!
17:50:06 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: notice how she's not riffin' on *my* name...? Chick probly can't pronounce it!
17:50:19 [Broadcast] Mr. Permadebt: Who cares about Black Swan? Bobcat is so much hotter.
17:50:26 [Broadcast] Master Gabriel: to be fair I can't pronounce it either
17:50:30 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: SSSSH!

17:50:32 [Admin] Dominatrix: My beauty does have a certain...pull to it!

17:50:35 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Psst, hey Bobcat, guess what? I just beat up Barry
17:50:51 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: He cried. :3
17:50:57 [Broadcast] Shamyra: hard
17:51:02 [Broadcast] Trevor Night: Careful, she might swear vengeance against you.
17:51:12 [BMT of Champion]Peppermint: feels like I make a move every 10 seconds.
17:51:32 [BMT of Champion]Skolia: 10 seconds? you lucky...
17:51:43 [Broadcast] TempestWind: Swan sure is a tough bird
17:51:56 [BMT of Champion]SCyberTaz: CoH play by mail version
17:52:25 [Broadcast] TempestWind: Are we just missing Battle Maiden?
17:52:33 [League] Vylara: I will never complain about BAF lag again
17:52:34 [Broadcast] Mr. Permadebt: Fighting BM now.
17:52:36 [Broadcast] Shamyra: Aha! My eventual Army of Doom has arrived!

17:52:37 [Admin] Dominatrix: Wow...everything is more primitive here on Primal Earth...including the jokes!

17:52:50 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: All the women tell me that...
17:53:02 [Broadcast] Trevor Night: our primitive servers will be your downfall!!
17:53:03 [Broadcast] Master Gabriel: Maybe but our women are way hotter
17:53:07 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: looks like SOMEone wants to get SPANKED!

17:53:15 [Admin] Dominatrix: I doubt that darling...

17:53:20 [Broadcast] Cobalt Acinacean: Yes, its all bald jokes and how fast Neuron is at everythin'.
17:53:21 [Broadcast] Vylara: I'm pretty sure Champion runs on a VIC-20 and a 150 baud modem
17:53:37 [Broadcast] Shamyra: and he means everything
17:53:38 [Broadcast] Mr. Permadebt: Champion is hamster powered!!!
17:54:01 [Broadcast] Shamyra: a heroic Hamster of Justice!
17:54:02 [Broadcast] Vylara: Permadebt, yeah that's what powers the VIC-20
17:54:08 [Broadcast] Shamyra: wait....Freedom!
17:54:10 [Broadcast] Will of the Beast: the best part: our hamster -powered server is better than yours
17:54:18 [Broadcast] Mr. Permadebt: Yes! I miniature giant space hamster!
17:54:26 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Go for the eyes Boo!

17:54:28 [Admin] Bobcat: Not *everything* dearrrest...

17:54:49 [Broadcast] Scarborough Fair: It's Eartha Kitt. <.<
17:54:58 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Call me Dom? Please? She won't....
17:55:05 [Broadcast] Celestial Smasher: You know what they say. Praetorian Earth girls are easy.
17:55:05 [Broadcast] TempestWind: You sure it's not Julie Newmar?
17:55:10 [Broadcast] Shamyra: is that why he clones himself?
17:55:17 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: hey Bobcat... Neuron told us all the REAL reason he made so many clones of himself... It's so that any one of them would only have to see you about once a year.
17:55:33 [Broadcast] Shamyra: You think those 3 minutes were all the same man?
17:56:48 [Broadcast] Shamyra: much better. I turned my cape off. now we are rockin!
17:57:03 [Broadcast] Mr. Permadebt: I wondered what was causing the problem.
17:57:17 [Broadcast] Shamyra: yep. Sorry folks. My fault
17:58:09 [Broadcast] Shamyra: is anybody bringing those 2 chicas to their eventual knees?
17:58:21 [Broadcast] Silent Wills: The attack of the Tandy powered Go-Bots
17:58:42 [Broadcast] Shamyra: cover their solar panels!

17:59:08 [Admin] Emperor Marcus Cole: It seems I will have to take matters into my own hands...

17:59:15 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: OHSH-
17:59:15 [Broadcast] TempestWind: About time...
17:59:17 [Broadcast] Shamyra: who?
17:59:19 [Broadcast] Shamyra: And you are......?
17:59:24 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: FINALLY
17:59:28 [Broadcast] Will of the Beast: the cry baby coming to whine now?

17:59:30 [Admin] Emperor Marcus Cole: The Emperor of Earth...and you?

17:59:31 [Broadcast] Celestial Smasher: Go get him, Horus. We'll be right behind you.
17:59:31 [Broadcast] Mr. Permadebt: Emporer who?
17:59:33 [Broadcast] Master Gabriel: yeah bring it nancy boy
17:59:33 [Broadcast] Dr. Alanna Cassidy: LFT
17:59:38 [Broadcast] Destructeon: Ah, Tyrant himself....
17:59:41 [Broadcast] Shamyra: The mighty Shamyra!
17:59:45 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: And Cole... I hear you "Take" your "matters" into your own hands ALL THE TIME
17:59:45 [Broadcast] Ice Empress: whoa Michael Cole from the WWE is here *bites fingernails*
17:59:47 [Broadcast] Shamyra: and I should know you from.....?
17:59:49 [Broadcast] Red Dragon Ninja: now that the females have bailed on you its time to take matters into yer own hands eh ?

17:59:52 [Admin] Emperor Marcus Cole: Sorry....never heard of you.

18:00:00 [Broadcast] Stone-Wall: Wonder if this means statesman going to show up to help us since Lord Recluse helped on vill side
18:00:01 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: And me? Why I'm Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die.
18:00:01 [Broadcast] Mr. Permadebt: Never heard of this Emporer Call.
18:00:05 [Broadcast] Dr. Alanna Cassidy: Any open teams?
18:00:13 [Broadcast] Shamyra: you will when it says "
18:00:18 [Broadcast] Shamyra: defeated by....
18:00:20 [Broadcast] Will of the Beast: Statesman doesn't know how to help.
18:00:21 [Broadcast] Vylara: Gary Cole? Wasn't he on Brady Bunch movie?
18:00:24 [Broadcast] Star Knight: never heard of you either. too many two-bit villians to defeat.

18:00:35 [Admin] Emperor Marcus Cole: Such a primitive place this..."Primal Earth".

18:00:50 [Broadcast] IMProvise: Then why are you here?
18:01:00 [Broadcast] Scarborough Fair: Here.
18:01:02 [Broadcast] Ice Empress: he is here to have a big mac

18:01:03 [Admin] Emperor Marcus Cole: To claim my right by power of course

18:01:03 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: then why are you 0 for 13 by now?
18:01:05 [Broadcast] Shamyra: are you as Sterile as your cities?
18:01:09 [Broadcast] Scarborough Fair: Nelson Borough.
18:01:13 [Broadcast] Celestial Smasher: Shouldn't you be hunting Shadows with the Minbari?

18:01:18 [Admin] Emperor Marcus Cole: PRAETORS TO MY SIDE

18:01:20 [Broadcast] Mr. Permadebt: You mean a McRoyale wit/ cheez?
18:01:21 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: If I kill you do I get struck by lightning and claim your power?
18:01:31 [Broadcast] Stone-Wall: As Will Smith said so aptly in "Independence Day" welcome to Earth..*@#^&
18:01:32 [Broadcast] Star Knight: so you'll be heading home with your tail between your legs soon then.
18:01:44 [Broadcast] Shamyra: Hurry Praetors! Emperor Whats his face has commanded it!
18:01:46 [Broadcast] Basaltic Melt: do we have a location for those of use w/o teams?
18:01:47 [Broadcast] Master Gabriel: says the guy whose whole kingdom consists of one little isle of humanity on a world lost to Hamidon
18:01:55 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Wow...
18:01:56 [Broadcast] Will of the Beast: your only claim colt is to die some day
18:02:14 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Next to the AE building
18:02:15 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: oooh... oooh... does this mean we get to kick their ***** ALL OVER AGAIN?? Cool, 'cause I missed a few spots THE FIRST TIME
18:02:18 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: I think he's going for a PL
18:02:29 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: FIGHT ME!
18:02:35 [Broadcast] Will of the Beast: Lord knows Colt needs a PL.
18:02:37 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: You sonnuva biscuit
18:02:58 [Broadcast] Dr. Alanna Cassidy: This guy needs a hug....he must have been unloved as a kid or something

18:03:11 [Admin] Emperor Marcus Cole: Pathetic...

18:03:25 [Broadcast] Dr. Alanna Cassidy: or (hopefully) beaten severely about the neck and shoulders
18:03:29 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: awww... don't bo so HARD on yourself, Cole...
18:03:31 [League] Celestial Smasher: He's right at my dead body.
18:03:37 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Want to know what's even worse? Statesman and others didn't even have to be here to kick the rest of your teams rear
18:03:38 [Broadcast] Will of the Beast: Yes, your "guards" are pathetic
18:03:42 [Broadcast] Master Gabriel: Your choice of outfit? we know but it is better than your old evil statesman look
18:03:50 [League] Celestial Smasher: ******* one shotted me.
18:04:29 [Broadcast] Shamyra: didnt hurt
18:04:36 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Just a fleshwound

18:04:43 [Admin] Emperor Marcus Cole: How can you possibly hope to withstand the onslaught of the full might of Praetoria?

18:04:57 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: By being foolhardy, and charging!
18:04:58 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: ...with 3 girl scouts and a lvl 5 defender
18:05:01 [Broadcast] Mr. Permadebt: The full mice?
18:05:02 [Broadcast] Shamyra: by pounding yall senseless again
18:05:03 [Broadcast] Stone-Wall: It's time to make some "Cole" slaw
18:05:08 [Broadcast] Scarborough Fair: I wasn't planning to. I'm a Blaster. <.<
18:05:10 [Broadcast] Celestial Smasher: The same way we withstood The Backstreet Boys.
18:05:10 [Broadcast] Will of the Beast: Because this can't be the "full might" after we've defeated so many.
18:05:21 [Broadcast] Shamyra: I support the foolhardy and charging approach!
18:05:23 [League] XCOM Commando: dang, they saw thru my cloaking device.
18:05:34 [League] XCOM Commando: get nightstar for me!
18:06:05 [Broadcast] Stone-Wall: mother mayhem back here...and she's HOTT

18:06:15 [Admin] Emperor Marcus Cole: Interesting...

18:06:27 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: And by taunting you a lot
18:06:49 [Broadcast] Shamyra: what...? That I claimed her? Have you seen her?
18:06:55 [Broadcast] Mr. Permadebt: I'm more into Dominatrix than MM or the others.
18:07:51 [Broadcast] Will of the Beast: Hey, I only got 5 of these so-called monsters "trying" to kill me.
18:07:53 [Broadcast] Star Knight: time to rickroll these praetorians
18:09:06 [League] Vylara: lol cole is just standing there reading a newspaper
18:09:11 Power Bolt is still recharging.
18:09:11 [Broadcast] XCOM Commando: Word beginning with I: Cole is an Idiot.....
18:09:16 [Broadcast] Photometric: Give it up Cole
18:09:19 [League] Mordachai: was dancing a second ago

18:09:25 [Admin] Emperor Marcus Cole: I would like to thank you....for showing me your *true* strength...and your true weakness.

18:09:31 [Broadcast] Dr. Alanna Cassidy: ok...classical music.....not right for this
18:09:38 [Broadcast] Flaming Intern: Oh no he found the pantry...

18:09:43 [Admin] Emperor Marcus Cole: It would seem my attentions are needed...elsewhere.

18:09:49 [Broadcast] XCOM Commando: Cole, waiting for you to say "Inconceivable!"
18:09:51 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: I call shenanigans
18:09:52 [Broadcast] Mr. Permadebt: My true weakness is bunnies. With vorpal teeth. And super-jump.
18:09:56 [Broadcast] Vylara: so.. running away then
18:10:01 [Broadcast] TempestWind: Figures...
18:10:03 [Broadcast] IMProvise: You're not leaving until you return that library book!
18:10:07 [Broadcast] Vylara: I gotta run, bio break

18:10:07 [Admin] Emperor Marcus Cole: Here's something to keep you entertained in the meantime.

18:10:08 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: I call you out to the arena!
18:10:10 [Broadcast] Will of the Beast: so, y ajust had to mapserv me? Couldn't stand me winning?
18:10:12 [Broadcast] Star-Master: bacon is my weakness
18:10:15 [Broadcast] Vylara: typical
18:10:16 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: PVP! NAO! BRING IT!
18:10:16 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: DECLARE VICTORY AND RETREAT!! WOO-HOO! WAY TO "WIN" COLE!!
18:10:27 [Broadcast] Dr. Alanna Cassidy: my true weakness is ginger cookies!
18:10:32 [Broadcast] Dr. Alanna Cassidy: there I admitted it!
18:10:34 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: sure showed us "primitive" primals, huh??
18:10:39 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: I dislike...spiders...
18:10:41 [Broadcast] Mr. Permadebt: I do luvs me some cookies.
18:10:58 [Broadcast] Shamyra: not sure why

18:11:01 [Admin] Emperor Marcus Cole: Oh you are quite primitive...and easy to manipulate!

18:11:13 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: manipulate THIS, chump
18:11:17 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Hey no fair using big words!
18:11:21 [BMT of Champion]Cakiea: Atlas has been pretty busy, just finished "defending city hall" nothing happening currently
18:11:22 [Broadcast] XCOM Commando: So you think Cole, but it was we who lured you here and now!
18:11:22 [Broadcast] Trevor Night: clever comeback!
18:11:25 [Broadcast] Mr. Permadebt: Come back Emporer Bowl. We have Cake!!!
18:11:27 [Broadcast] Shamyra: speaking of which.....Seige is floppin facedown again
18:11:30 [Broadcast] Ice Empress: id join you cole if you had a klondike bar
18:11:33 [Broadcast] Vylara: primative? Praetorian Earth can't even run the post office properly
18:11:43 [Broadcast] TempestWind: so you're manipulating us by letting us break your toys and beat up your minions?
18:11:43 Power Burst is still recharging.

18:11:47 [Admin] Emperor Marcus Cole: There is no cake in Praetoria

18:11:52 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: !!!!
18:11:55 [Broadcast] Cobalt Acinacean: You fiend.
18:11:57 [Broadcast] IMProvise: lol
18:11:58 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: exactly
18:11:59 [Broadcast] Celestial Smasher: And that's why we'll win.
18:12:00 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Praetoria is a horrible place
18:12:01 [League] Silent Wills: The cake was a lie anyway
18:12:02 [Broadcast] Welsh Bowman: that is pretty impressive manipulation
18:12:02 [Broadcast] Trevor Night: Well there better be cupcakes then!!
18:12:03 [Broadcast] Scarborough Fair: Not even slamcake?
18:12:03 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: phail
18:12:03 [Broadcast] Shamyra: then how are we the primative ones?
18:12:04 [Broadcast] TempestWind: that's genius, clearly...
18:12:04 [Broadcast] Dr. Alanna Cassidy: NOOOO! That's a lie!
18:12:04 [Broadcast] Mentu: What!!! You bastards
18:12:05 [Broadcast] Joyrock: noo thay has to be at least pie
18:12:07 [Broadcast] Destructeon: You evil fiend!
18:12:07 [Broadcast] Ice Empress: tats because the cake is a lie or so ive be told
18:12:13 [Broadcast] Star-Master: there better be bacon or you are truly EEEEVVILL
18:12:13 [Broadcast] Red Dragon Ninja: what kind of monster are you Cole ?
18:12:14 [Broadcast] Mentu: We cant let them win now
18:12:20 [Broadcast] Jus Blaze 2: cole must die
18:12:32 [Broadcast] Ground Pounder: There's no cake in Preatoria? Really? Have you tried cake? It's pretty good.
18:12:34 [League] Shamyra: the cake was a lie the cake was a lie the cake was a lie
18:12:34 [Broadcast] Dr. Alanna Cassidy: but.....what about anti-cake?
18:12:36 [Broadcast] Joyrock: FOR JUSTAS AND CAKES
18:12:40 [Broadcast] Lt. Frost: there goes my dream of a water front property in Imperial City...no cake, no deal
18:12:57 [Broadcast] Master Gabriel: Yeah cole you manipulated us into wasting your armies like a bunch of hellions. Your skills have me in awe.
18:12:57 [Broadcast] TempestWind: Cake or death!
18:13:03 [Broadcast] Celestial Smasher: Start an underground cake import business.
18:13:11 [Broadcast] Celestial Smasher: You'll make millions.
18:13:17 [Broadcast] Silent Wills: For Statesman, for Earth, and for CAKE!
18:13:19 [Broadcast] Shamyra: count me in!
18:13:30 [Broadcast] Lt. Frost: they better have bacon though...
18:13:41 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: I think a know a certain cupcake lover who would be up for that...
18:13:42 [Broadcast] Ice Empress: honey? who is that at the door ? oh no one jus the hamidon again selling encyclopedias
18:13:50 [Broadcast] Celestial Smasher: They obviously already have cheesecake though. I mean, look at Mother Mayhem here.
18:13:55 [Broadcast] Silent Wills: Its prolly only Canadian bacon...
18:14:00 [Broadcast] Shamyra: I want a Hamidon AT!
18:14:15 [Broadcast] Scarborough Fair: I would play a Devoured.
18:14:20 [Broadcast] Dr. Alanna Cassidy: Daddy? what's a frontal lobotomy?
18:14:22 [Broadcast] Red Dragon Ninja: we call that "ham" where i come from.
18:14:24 [Broadcast] Shamyra: then I will wait for battle!
18:14:40 [Broadcast] Dr. Alanna Cassidy: Well jimmy, that's what Emperor cole had when he couldn't stop doing bad things to the sheep in praetoria
18:14:45 [Broadcast] Welsh Bowman: what is happing to my graphics gcard right now
18:14:54 [Broadcast] Shamyra: so he made it law!
18:14:56 [Broadcast] Stone-Wall: anyone know if base raids are working on 'Praetorian earth" since it's been years and 'Primal Earth" can't get it working?
18:14:57 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: It's on fire
18:15:29 [Broadcast] Shamyra: where is Whats his face anyway?
18:15:42 [Broadcast] Vylara: I think he went on a bio break
18:15:46 [Broadcast] Scarborough Fair: He didn't like me autofollowing him.
18:15:47 [League] Freedom's Fury: he just popped up in Cap according to my bro
18:15:55 [Broadcast] Destructeon: Tyrant's probably hiding like the coward he is.
18:16:03 [Broadcast] Dr. Alanna Cassidy: The woman with the epic camel toe is down!
18:16:06 [Broadcast] Silent Wills: So he comes in here, says there's no cake, and then leaves?
18:16:17 [Broadcast] Ice Empress: no im still standing
18:16:35 [Broadcast] Mr. Permadebt: I invited him to stay for cake. He said there is no cake in Praet.
18:16:50 [Broadcast] TempestWind: I don't think he gets cake in jail though
18:17:12 [Broadcast] Welsh Bowman: it is either cake or death, if there is no cake, guess what he gets
18:17:18 [Broadcast] Dr. Alanna Cassidy: I want cake....german chocolate with extra coconut!
18:17:23 [Broadcast] Scarborough Fair: Praetoria, portals, cake... it's all making sense now.
18:17:24 [Broadcast] Radiant Moon: if there is no cake I will take chocolate!
18:17:25 [Broadcast] Dr. Alanna Cassidy: NAOW!
18:18:20 [League] Vylara: Any sign of Emperor Chicken?
18:18:28 [Broadcast] Shamyra: Wheres Praetor Poundmyfacein?
18:18:32 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: So...Tyrant played Portal, saw cake...banned it...and invaded Primal Earth?
18:18:35 [Broadcast] Celestial Smasher: Cap au Diable.
18:18:46 [Broadcast] TempestWind: if Cole wanted cake he should have just asked
18:18:47 [Broadcast] Shamyra: or PRaetor Ohgodthepain!
18:18:53 [Broadcast] Scarborough Fair: He couldn't get that far.
18:19:08 [Broadcast] Shamyra: this is quite a production for cake
18:19:13 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: So cake outraged him. It all makes sense.
18:19:23 [Broadcast] Shamyra: what happened to trading recipes?
18:19:25 [Broadcast] Welsh Bowman: lots of shards though
18:19:25 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: I think PI is clear,
18:19:25 [Broadcast] Scarborough Fair: One of them quoted GladOS earlier, too.
18:19:26 [Broadcast] Silent Wills: Cole needs a whoopin. Builds character.
18:19:30 [Broadcast] Dr. Alanna Cassidy: Cake must be praetorian slang for REAL BOOBIES
18:19:33 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: My bad
18:19:36 [Broadcast] Mr. Permadebt: Was awesome. Thanks, all. Time to get the kids to bed. Thank you all for fighting Cole's minions and letting me participate.
18:19:37 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Plenty more
18:19:39 [Broadcast] Shamyra: did you ever see any terrorists with cake?
18:19:44 [Broadcast] Red Dragon Ninja: why cant he just wear a funny hat like all the other great dictators do ?
18:20:14 [Broadcast] Vylara: We seem to have run out of Praetorian Losers
18:20:27 [Broadcast] Vylara: Anyone see Emperor Chicken?
18:20:30 [Broadcast] Dr. Alanna Cassidy: no....quickly, someone go drag them back!
18:20:52 [Broadcast] Joyrock: look for him in teh wal mart
18:21:12 [Broadcast] Celestial Smasher: Even Cole can't resist crazy low prices.
18:21:22 [Broadcast] Joyrock: hes looking for cake
18:21:34 [Broadcast] Ground Pounder: Even Preatorian junk is made in China.
18:21:38 [Broadcast] Shamyra: they are making a gameplan
18:21:50 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: brb getting camera so i can post him on people of walmart
18:22:01 [Broadcast] Shamyra: :we will go back, get beaten about the head neck and face and then die. Whaddaya say? Ready? Break!
18:23:04 [Broadcast] Dr. Alanna Cassidy: Save the face! That's for crying!
18:23:14 [Broadcast] Shamyra: good point
18:23:57 [Broadcast] Dr. Alanna Cassidy: Someone go find some proctologists to come give some physicals
18:24:01 [Broadcast] Shamyra: I can see clearly now the lag is gone......
18:24:08 [Broadcast] Shamyra: I can see all the obstacles in my way....
18:24:33 [Broadcast] Master Gabriel: thanks for league
18:24:37 [Broadcast] Dr. Alanna Cassidy: that's not an obstacle! That's Cole's residual ego!
18:24:49 [Broadcast] Torchielle: Indeed. Thanks, all.
18:24:55 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Looks clear.

All,

Here's my chat log from last night's Praetorian invasion. I had to edit out all the "you have defeated X" messages, chat from most chat channels other than broadcast, and of course all the cyber between me and Black Swan (I'll post that part seperately later). I also edited out all the LFT messages and the "What is going on?" questions from those who can't read forums.

Enjoy.

---------------------------------

16:05:49 [Broadcast] Mistress Nikki: Well polish my leather and tie my hair, it's spanking time!

16:06:57 [Admin] NCsoft_Freitag: Villain, your uncle in St. Martial just called you. Suddenly he needs your help! Praetorian forces are attacking his gang's factory in Black Mariah. He's promised you a large reward if you help. Maybe you'll let him sweat, until he gives you more...
16:07:50 [Admin] NCsoft_Avatea: Heroes of Atlas Park, Peregrine Island also needs your help! Some of you should make their way there as quickly as possible!

16:13:42 [Admin] Mother Mayhem: *tsk-tsk* Such disloyal Children. Why do you hurt Mother so?
16:14:25 [Admin] Mother Mayhem: Mother is all around you silly child.

16:14:41 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Why do I hurt Mother so? Not enough hugs. D:
16:14:49 [Broadcast] Shamyra: You are hot MM, just sayin. I dont know who designed you but nice work.

16:15:25 [Admin] Mother Mayhem: Designed? Your words vex Mother...

16:15:56 [Broadcast] Singularity Sam: Mother is going down.
16:15:56 [Broadcast] Destructeon: I've faced scarier robots from Malta.

16:16:30 [Admin] Mother Mayhem: Your attempts to seperate Mother from her defenses are in vain, my darling children

16:16:45 [Broadcast] Deadboy: << Mother Mayhem >>
16:16:47 [League] Zubenelgenubi: WW here
16:17:40 [Broadcast] Shamyra: we're breakin your toys Mom
16:19:14 [Broadcast] Shamyra: hows the Vexed Vixen holdin up?
16:19:15 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: Go home, "MOTHER"... bake a cake or something.
16:19:22 [Broadcast] Shamyra: and make me a sammich
16:19:23 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: It's mother mayhems mind trick

16:19:37 [Admin] Mother Mayhem: Mother has people to do the baking for her darling child...

16:20:00 [Broadcast] Cobalt Acinacean: Is that a euphemism?
16:20:01 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: If I join your side do i get free sammiches?
16:20:18 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Not that I'm saying I'd turn traitor for a free sub sandwich...
16:20:25 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: then you can pay someone to smash the cake into your face for you. (I'd do it myself, but I'm busy breaking your toys)

16:20:37 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: HAIL MOTHER!

16:20:49 [Admin] Mother Mayhem: If you join the side of right you have the honor of serving the Emperor Cole dearest




16:20:50 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: And Free Sub Sunday
16:21:00 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Well....that's slightly less compelling
16:21:04 [Broadcast] Shamyra: unless the lag power does stop me, then I will be stopped......
16:21:17 [Broadcast] Shamyra: But until then I attempt to fight on!

16:21:22 [Admin] NCsoft_Freitag: Villains, St. Martial is being overrun by Praetorians!Now is your chance to take the businesses there for your own, when the grounds for extortion are fertile!

16:21:59 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: Generous offer. I'll think about it for 0.4 seconds. OK done. No.
16:22:30 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: If you give me a war walker pet I might consider it...
16:22:37 [Broadcast] Fallout Fiona: Mother, email two sets of Apocs to @Neuronia or @Neuronium and I'll consider your offer.

16:23:29 [Admin] Mother Mayhem: Oh child, you should be sending gifts to Mother, not I to you!

16:23:38 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: I'm a horrible child
16:23:53 [Broadcast] Scarborough Fair: You're not the boss of me. <.<
16:23:55 [Broadcast] Celestial Smasher: Whoever gifted you the boob job, you should sue.
16:23:59 [Broadcast] Shamyra: Um no...its in the contract. We get the gifts

16:24:01 [Admin] NCsoft_Freitag: Praetorians have been spotted emptying the vault at Giza, in St. Martial. You should be able to overpower them easily, and take the money for your own nefarious purposes.

16:24:07 [Admin] Mother Mayhem: Your thoughts betray you...

16:24:16 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: I thought once.
16:24:44 [Broadcast] Shamyra: Yeah, I dont think either. gets in the way
16:25:40 [Broadcast] Shamyra: are these the droids we are looking for?
16:25:54 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Boosh
16:26:00 [Broadcast] Destructeon: Pwned.
16:26:26 [Broadcast] Trevor Night: Mother Mayhem has been defeated!!

16:26:30 [Admin] Ms. Liberty: Heroes of Peregrine Island, Tyrant's forces have been detected in orbit above Paragon City!

16:26:49 [Broadcast] Destructeon: Let 'em come.
16:26:49 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Orbit?
16:26:49 [Broadcast] Fallout Fiona: Orbit o_O
16:26:51 [Broadcast] Shamyra: curse you lack of vertical travel powers!
16:26:51 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Umm..
16:26:56 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: ."Mother" you talk big for someone who has to hide behind WAVES OF ROBOTS AND MIND-CONTROLLED GIRLS!!
16:26:59 [Broadcast] Scarborough Fair: Very low orbit.
16:27:02 [Broadcast] Jonnie Oblivion: where's the train to outer space
16:27:15 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: I'll just punch so hard they'll feel it from here

16:27:15 [Admin] Ms. Liberty: We have detected several LARGE OBJECTS on an intercept course with Peregrine Island! PREPARE YOURSELVES FOR AN ORBITAL STRIKE!

16:27:18 [Broadcast] Destructeon: I guess we fly.
16:27:33 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: I'll orbital strike their face!
16:28:42 [League] Silent Wills: So did we solve the getting into orbit problem?

16:28:46 [Admin] Siege: *bzzzzz*

16:29:00 [Broadcast] Shamyra: Jerk alert
16:29:02 [Broadcast] Fallout Fiona: Siege" bzzzzzzzzzz OFF
16:29:12 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Hah! I have your one weakness Siege! A magnet!
16:29:40 [Broadcast] Destructeon: Is this the best Tyrant can throw at us?

16:29:49 [Admin] Siege: Emperor Cole has ordered the extermination of all opposing forces in the dimensional sector known commonly as "Primal Earth".

16:29:51 [Broadcast] Lord Gabriel: Courtyard?
16:30:22 [Broadcast] Shamyra: Who?

16:30:41 [Admin] Siege: I have been *instructed* to offer any superpowered beings a single opportunity to swear fealty to the Emperor of All Things, Marcus Cole.

16:30:54 [Broadcast] Shamyra: I still got nothin.
16:30:55 [Broadcast] Bitterfreeze: bite it, seige
16:31:01 [Broadcast] Shamyra: should i know him from somewhere?
16:31:08 [Broadcast] Fallout Fiona: Message to Cole: My foot, your ***.
16:31:22 [Broadcast] SonicBanshee: dont worry, thats not power recharge lag, its a new feature called "Dramatic Pause"!!
16:31:37 [Broadcast] Shamyra: your rockem sockem robots arent holdin up to well
16:31:46 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Your mother was a toaster and your father was a tandy
16:31:58 [Broadcast] Bitterfreeze: A tandy? Thats low. lol
16:32:02 [Broadcast] Shamyra: ouch!

16:32:28 [Admin] Siege: The joke is on you...in Praetorian Earth, Tandy is the dominant Personal Computing System.

16:32:30 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: IS THIS ALL YOU GOT, COLE??
16:32:35 [Broadcast] Bitterfreeze: lol
16:32:44 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Orly? Huh...go figure
16:32:44 [Broadcast] Red Dragon Ninja: why does its CPU say "Texas Instruments" on it, i thought they made calculators ?!?
16:32:48 [Broadcast] Lord Gabriel: nice
16:32:52 [Broadcast] Scarborough Fair: Seige knows jokes. <.<
16:32:56 [Broadcast] Star Knight: That just shows how backward your dimension is
16:32:56 [Broadcast] Shamyra: :-)
16:33:05 [Broadcast] Lord Gabriel: Too bad it probably still runs on Windows the way it crashes
16:33:07 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Programmed for 1000 megajokes per cycle
16:33:22 [Broadcast] Shamyra: hows her royal hotness holding up? she pissed yet?
16:34:25 [Broadcast] Joyrock: meh.. siedge ou have no clue just in the frekk your dealing with
16:34:27 [League] XCOM Commando: 5 billion bots behind us
16:34:29 [Broadcast] Shamyra: Your Tandy Robots are droppin quickly Seige

16:34:35 [Admin] Siege: Parameter executed, surrender ultimatum issued.
16:34:59 [Admin] Siege: Commence with destruction of Peregrine Island and all entities within.

16:35:22 [Broadcast] Joyrock: you can take your untimatum and pollish your legs with it
16:35:26 [Broadcast] Fallout Fiona: All entities...including Tyrant holding Statesman? RETCON ALERT!!!
16:35:46 [Broadcast] Celestial Smasher: Quick, someone hook up a Macintosh to Siege and upload a virus! Hey, it worked for the aliens in Independence Day.
16:35:58 [Broadcast] Shamyra: I like that idea!
16:36:04 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Dibs on being Jeff Goldblum
16:36:14 [Broadcast] Shamyra: or change a binary code
16:36:16 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: I just need my Will Smith
16:36:18 [Broadcast] Shamyra: worked on Spy Kids
16:36:20 [Broadcast] Silent Wills: Silly, not even Praetorians use Macs...

16:36:30 [Admin] Siege: Sorry, I am not MacOS compatible.

16:36:31 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: No need - Seige was built by PRAETOR BARRY. He comes factory equipped with PLENTY of bugs and viruses!
16:36:49 [Broadcast] Joyrock: you will be soon enugh

16:37:03 [Admin] Siege: There is not an app for that...

16:37:20 [Broadcast] Shamyra: You will be backwards compatible when we are done here
16:37:20 [Broadcast] Lord Gabriel: Your about to be trash can compatible
16:37:32 [Broadcast] Joyrock: yes there is its called iFIST!!
16:37:50 [Broadcast] Star Knight: Current MP3: Another one bites the dust
16:37:50 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Joy that's...er...nevermind...

16:38:03 [Admin] Beastyle: A huge force of Praetorian invaders is marching shoulder-to-shoulder through Cap Au Diable's streets! They've gained ground on the Haven docks and are inching closer towards Aeon City!

16:38:17 [Broadcast] Scarborough Fair: They can have it.

16:39:02 [Admin] Siege: Initiating power transfer....

16:39:19 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: HAX
16:39:23 [Broadcast] Scarborough Fair: Somewhere, Nightstar just rezzed.
16:39:27 [Broadcast] Joyrock: look he's getting the jumper cables
16:40:05 [Broadcast] Shamyra: power transferring to my power activation time
16:40:21 [Broadcast] Shamyra: Take this! Eventually!
16:40:42 [Broadcast] Cobalt Acinacean: Nightstar targetted.
16:40:42 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Rawr
16:40:54 [Broadcast] Destructeon: Siege is gone.
16:40:56 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: COLE - YOU'RE 0 FOR 2 NOW! CARE TO TRY AGAIN??
16:41:02 [Broadcast] Shamyra: so what are we gonna make out of him?
16:41:02 [Team] Mr. Permadebt: Attacking Nightstar now.
16:41:17 [League] Zubenelgenubi: NIGHTSTAR - my target
16:41:38 [Broadcast] Shamyra: shes a 5'11 GM. awwwww

16:41:52 [Admin] Neuron: I see my *lesser* Praetors have once again failed to deliver on a simple task...

16:41:54 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: Seige is sooooo gonna be a Jukebox in my base!
16:42:00 [Broadcast] Celestial Smasher: Thanks for the shard, Nightstar.
16:42:04 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Oh it's on like Donkey Kong, Neuron!
16:42:07 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: OK COLE, NOW YOU'RE 0 FOR 3!!
16:42:15 [Broadcast] Destructeon: Oh, it's the Praetor with ADD now.
16:42:16 [Broadcast] Shamyra: No, they succeeded

16:42:31 [Admin] Neuron: I agree Neuron, it appears we must *again* take this into our own hands...
16:42:36 [Admin] Neuron: Indeed
16:42:50 [Admin] Neuron: *Most* unimpressive...

16:42:58 [Broadcast] Shamyra: take the poundin yourself huh? Thats the spirit!
16:43:08 [Broadcast] Lord Gabriel: Bring it on slick
16:43:12 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: Neuron... I know a REALLY good shrink for you... she'll help with those pesky voices...

16:44:21 [Admin] Neuron: These so called "heroes" are obviously the match for a *single* Siege or Nightstar...but hardly a match for a *cough* SINGLE Neuron...much less an army.

16:44:39 [Broadcast] Scarborough Fair: Maybe we should sneak over to Praetoria and run around setting fire to things.
16:44:41 [League] Mordachai: holy shiot
16:44:51 [Broadcast] Deadboy: << Neuron >>
16:44:54 [League] Mordachai: theres like 15 neurons over here
16:44:56 [Broadcast] Lord Gabriel: I mean is this all you got. Tell you what you bring as many neurons as you have and we will see who is standing chump
16:44:57 [League] Mordachai: every one is a GM
16:45:00 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: Talk is cheap, chump.
16:45:16 [Broadcast] Shamyra: yeah, well your mother was a ...um......
16:45:44 [Broadcast] Shamyra: now i know how Archer feels.... i totally had something for this
16:45:44 [Broadcast] Null Beam: where is 'here'?
16:45:53 [Broadcast] Silent Wills: Bring your army, I'm good with crowds!

16:45:56 [Admin] Neuron: You know...HERE!
16:46:02 [Admin] Neuron: Don't help them!

16:46:18 [Broadcast] Joyrock: COME ON CUPCAKE BRING IT !!

16:46:19 [Admin] Neuron: But what's the fun in that?

16:46:26 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: I argue with myself too
16:46:30 [Broadcast] Shamyra: I want a cupcake
16:46:37 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Then I threaten to kick my *** and it gets ugly
16:46:45 [BMT of Champion]Peppermint: neuron by the halfway point of PI
16:47:01 [Broadcast] Shamyra: who wins?
16:47:08 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Me
16:47:16 [Broadcast] Scarborough Fair: Whoever has the most toys.
16:47:17 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: And sometimes not me
16:47:36 [Broadcast] Destructeon: Y'know what, Neuron... go ahead and hide all day if you'd like.
16:47:47 [Broadcast] Cobalt Acinacean: ... We found'im.
16:47:53 [Broadcast] Joyrock: look its bluebarry cupcakes
16:47:54 [Broadcast] Lord Gabriel: Tell you what Neuron, I am so confident we will win that if we lose I will start using your tailor

16:47:55 [Admin] Neuron: You know what they always say...IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED, CLONE, CLONE AND CLONE AGAIN!

16:48:23 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: Then you must clone a HELLOFA LOT, Neuron!!
16:48:25 [Broadcast] Silent Wills: Okay that...that was funny...
16:48:25 [Broadcast] Lord Gabriel: Wow you have the same strategy as television execs scary
16:48:32 [Broadcast] Star Knight: I think there's a flaw in your genes

16:48:37 [Admin] Neuron: You have no idea...

16:48:43 [Broadcast] Shamyra: you do realize it counts as multiple losses right?
16:48:59 [Broadcast] Joyrock: come on sweety show joyrock what you got

16:49:18 [Admin] Neuron: Boy, you're one of those "glass half empty" kinda folks aren't you?

16:49:18 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: well... replicative fading would sure explain all your "research" to date...
16:49:38 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: My mom always said my glass was empty...so I broke the glass
16:49:48 [Broadcast] Joyrock: ya hit like a sissy ya blue fairy
16:50:04 [Broadcast] Scarborough Fair: I drink out of the bottle.
16:50:13 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: ...and there, you see? A *TRUE* scientist would look at the glass and say, "That glass is twice as big as it needs to be to hold the given volume of liquid"
16:54:02 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: So tell me Praetorian losers... how many Neurons *DOES* it take to screw up a light bulb??
16:54:15 [Broadcast] Shamyra: to screw up a light bulb?

[level up graphic plays]
16:50:37 [Local] Trevor Night: gratz
16:50:38 [Broadcast] Plant Jinn: lol
16:50:39 [Local] Singularity Sam: graz
16:50:42 [Broadcast] Shamyra: grats
16:50:55 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: HA HA!! SOMEONE LEVELED OFF OF YOU, NEURON!
16:52:09 [Broadcast] Basaltic Melt: if you lvl off a clone, did you dupe a rare?

16:50:56 [Admin] Neuron: I certainly hope you fair better than me Sinclair...

16:50:57 [Broadcast] Celestial Smasher: Nope, nothing to see here.
16:51:13 [Broadcast] Celestial Smasher: Commander Jeffrey Sinclair?
16:51:17 [Broadcast] Shamyra: Lewis Sinclair?
16:51:26 [Broadcast] Scarborough Fair: "fare" <.<
16:51:28 [Broadcast] American Progeny: i wanted to hurt some more robots

16:51:29 [Admin] Chimera: Well, I certainly couldn't do worse...

16:51:31 [Broadcast] Lord Gabriel: Oh come on give Neuron a break. We all know he was made Praetor to make the real genius Keys jealous enough to make this invasion possible. He is nothing more than a techno figure head
16:51:48 [Broadcast] Joyrock: meh you can stackem up we will just knock them down
16:52:06 [Broadcast] Lord Gabriel: A useless bureaucrat who creates his own secretary pool
16:52:07 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: I'm betting that Neuron just steals everything from Antimatter's computers
16:52:16 [Broadcast] Deadboy: em cracks knuckles
16:53:40 [Broadcast] Joyrock: wow its looser.. err i mean chimera. i was wonder were that smell was comeing from
16:53:44 [Broadcast] Lord Gabriel: what s the matter Neuron we hit a nerve.
16:53:48 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Here Chimera Chimera Chimera
16:53:50 [Broadcast] Shamyra: hows the morale holding up there during this team wipe?
16:54:05 [Broadcast] Star Knight: so where is the next fool
16:54:10 [Broadcast] Acroyear: I really thought the Praetorians would be a greater threat.

16:54:15 [Admin] Chimera: Robots, Seers and Clones...oh my!

16:54:18 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: AND THAT'S 0 FOR 4 NOW, COLE!!
16:54:32 [Broadcast] Sorrows: oh my

16:54:36 [Admin] Chimera: You know...nothing is ever quite as effective as a good old Artillery Barrage.

16:54:46 [Broadcast] Destructeon: Chimera? Oh come on.... He just fights with a bow.
16:54:47 [Broadcast] Mr. Permadebt: Holy cow - About 200 of them on the roof SW end of island.
16:54:53 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: An old fashioned punch to the face works pretty well also

16:55:15 [Admin] Chimera: You'll have to get close enough to land a punch buddy...

16:55:22 [Broadcast] Sorrows: lol
16:55:24 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: I have my ways
16:55:29 [Broadcast] Plant Jinn: he wasn't kidding
16:55:30 [Broadcast] Sorrows: he's got a point you know
16:55:36 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Not that I'm coming onto you or anything
16:55:49 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: When in doubt... CANNON FODDER, Eh buddy? Thought *YOU* at least had some moxy...
16:56:04 [Team] Mr. Permadebt: I'm attacking Chimera.
16:56:40 [Broadcast] Shamyra: hows the range workin out for ya there?
16:56:45 [Local] Cobalt Acinacean: What's your power again, Chimera?
16:56:50 [Local] Cobalt Acinacean: Oh. Wait.
16:56:52 [Local] Mr. Permadebt: Quick death.
16:56:52 [Local] Cobalt Acinacean: Nevermind.
16:56:57 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: where's the snappy quip now, Control-Freak?

16:56:57 [Admin] NCsoft_Freitag: Arachnos has detected localized air drops in Fortune's Wheel, St. Martial!

16:57:45 [Admin] Chimera: Ouch...No matter...White will deal with you rabble.

16:57:14 [BMT of Champion]Cobalt Azurean: 5 Praetorians down.

16:57:15 [Admin] Beastyle: Whether you hold any love for Dr. Aeon or Arachnos doesn't matter; losing Cap Au Diable to the Praetorians is a loss of territory that cannot stand! Stop them!

16:57:33 [Broadcast] Shamyra: stop being villain weenies!
16:57:38 [Broadcast] Joyrock: i thought we just said they can have the islands its not prime real estate
16:57:59 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Did someone declare the law of rabble?
16:58:03 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!
16:58:07 [Broadcast] Cobalt Acinacean: The guy with the electro-fists tied to his hand with a common belt? Good call.
16:58:13 [Broadcast] Shamyra: no colors scare us!
16:58:24 [Broadcast] Joyrock: yay prator muttt
16:58:27 [Broadcast] Star Knight: time to collar the dog

16:58:30 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: COLE - NOW YOU'RE 0 FOR 5!! WHEN ARE YOU GONNA COME GET YOUR LILY-WHITE SUIT DIRTY?? OR IS IT CANARY-YELLOW TODAY?
16:58:32 [BMT of Champion]Cakiea: Probably not
16:58:36 [Help] Dark Scare: I KNEW IT!

16:58:41 [Admin] Marauder: DID SOMEONE CALL THE BIG DOG?!

16:58:55 [Broadcast] Shamyra: whats up girlfriend?
16:58:57 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: hey, it's FIDO!
16:59:02 [Broadcast] Shamyra: bout time you arrived
16:59:02 [Broadcast] Star Knight: woof woof woof
16:59:04 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: HEEL, SUCKA!!
16:59:04 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Time to put this dog...down *sunglasses on* YEAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
16:59:07 [Broadcast] Bitterfreeze: called a big something...
16:59:08 [Broadcast] Joyrock: YA ME NOW
16:59:09 [Broadcast] Joyrock: ON YOUR KNEES, DOG!!!
16:59:17 [Broadcast] TempestWind: i bet he's got fleas...
16:59:33 [Broadcast] Star Knight: we're putting this dog down
16:59:43 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: DON'T STEAL MY JOKES!

16:59:48 [Admin] Beastyle: We need reinforcements! Heavy units are moving through the city streets undaunted!

16:59:57 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: You lie down with dogs, you fall in with fleas. You're gonna get something but you do what you please
17:00:01 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: you're scratching an itch that nothin' can ease...

17:00:08 [Admin] Marauder: YOU SUCKAS BETTER RUN NOW...EMPEROR COLE GAVE ME SOME OF HIS SPECIAL TROOPS TO CLEAR YOU SCRUBS OUT!

17:00:09 [Broadcast] Shamyra: you should have heard what Neuron was sayin about you before you got here.....
17:00:37 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Scrappers only know one kind of run and that's CHARGE!
17:00:42 [Broadcast] Joyrock: wow scary
17:00:45 [Broadcast] DSF Shrapnel: scrubs really?
17:01:06 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Oh my
17:01:10 [Broadcast] Shamyra: Actually I use that term myself....
17:01:16 [Broadcast] Scarborough Fair: The special troops are coming, I saw a short bus.

17:01:19 [Admin] Marauder: Did I stutter? You heard me! S-C-R-U-B-S spells Y-O-U!

17:01:19 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Among the sea of EBs
17:01:22 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: CHARGE!
17:01:28 [Broadcast] Shamyra: keep spellin!
17:01:31 [Broadcast] Star Knight: the dog can't even spell
17:02:03 [Broadcast] Shamyra: whos got the jive *** turkey targeted?

17:03:01 [Admin] Marauder: BWAAAHAHAHAHA! I don't even have to show up and you're all just ON THE FLOOR AGAIN?!

17:03:07 [Broadcast] Master Gabriel: Did Imiss putting the collar on that little dog maurauder
17:03:27 [Broadcast] Acroyear: Did he just say "Bwahahahaha"?
17:03:29 [Broadcast] TempestWind: what's that lassie? emperor Cole is a coward?
17:03:33 [Team] Mr. Permadebt: ZOMG. Stunned and killed after a single attack. Ow.
17:03:39 [Broadcast] Cobalt Acinacean: Did he just use a line from a X song?
17:04:14 [Broadcast] Shamyra: Oh yeah??
17:04:35 [Broadcast] Master Gabriel: Here puppy, puppy
17:04:53 [Broadcast] Star Knight: heel dog
17:05:03 [Alliance Network]Skolia: Cole must be using his Omega lag power
17:05:19 [Broadcast] SonicBanshee: Found HUGE army
17:05:20 [League] Deadboy: << Marauder >>

17:05:52 [Admin] Marauder: YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO MESS WITH THE BIG DOG!

17:06:06 [Broadcast] Shamyra: when did he get here?
17:06:09 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Where are your troops now, eh?
17:06:09 [Broadcast] Flaming Intern: Boiler up!
17:06:14 [Broadcast] TempestWind: quit your yappin', puppy
17:06:16 [Broadcast] Master Gabriel: You are so about to get neutered marauder
17:06:19 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: GO GO ROLLED-UP NEWSPAPER TEMP POWER!!


17:06:32 [Admin] Marauder: Right here Bulwark...

17:06:43 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Sorry, I don't see any troops, just chumps
17:07:00 [Broadcast] Vylara: mera point marker.. marauder and army

17:07:07 [Admin] Marauder: Allow me introduce your face to my fist!

17:07:21 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: OH NO YOU DIDN'T!

17:07:43 [Admin] Marauder: Oh yes...I believe I did!

17:07:43 [Broadcast] Shamyra: Good Comeback Pricilla!
17:08:15 [Broadcast] Flaming Intern: Traffic power...
17:08:17 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: I'm about to make your angry wife seem like a good day <_<
17:08:24 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: Hey Marauder, that's a nice outfit you're wearing. DID YOUR HUSBAND PICK IT OUT FOR YOU??
17:08:31 [Broadcast] Shamyra: :-)
17:08:38 [Broadcast] Shamyra: not that there's anything wrong with that

17:08:46 [Admin] Marauder: Don't you talk about my girl!

17:09:00 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: Oh, so he's a "bottom" then?
17:09:06 [Broadcast] Cobalt Acinacean: Didn't she get blown up?
17:09:09 [Broadcast] Jonnie Oblivion: she's a great kisser
17:09:31 [Broadcast] Shamyra: by She you mean.....whats his face?

17:09:35 [Admin] Marauder: om nom nom nom Enriche...

17:09:48 [Broadcast] Joyrock: see what hapens when you doent get your own flowers ya looses the girl
17:09:54 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: They have memes in Praetoria?
17:09:55 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: oh, suddenly he's a lol-cat lover?
17:10:01 [Broadcast] Bitterfreeze: lol

17:10:21 [Admin] Marauder: what...now you're making fun of how I eat?

17:10:24 [Broadcast] Deadboy: cracks knuckles
17:10:24 [Broadcast] Joyrock: well he is a dog

17:10:33 [Admin] Marauder: So rude!

17:10:37 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: no, no... I'm sure you chew your Alpo very carefully
17:10:41 [Broadcast] Shamyra: just imagine how much harder this would be if all the Village People were here?
17:11:04 [Broadcast] Flaming Intern: That's the last thing we need, a VP invasion
17:11:04 [Broadcast] Joyrock: i hear that sutff is bad for your teeth
17:11:18 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Well I am known as "That Guy" "Ruiner of Everything" now go away or I shall taunt you again
17:11:29 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: not if he eats some tartar-control biscuits after finishing the can
17:11:33 [Broadcast] Billy Wentworth: even thee traffic is lagging

17:11:46 [Admin] Beastyle: A softspot in the fabric between dimensions has opened in Aeon City park, near the globe. Prepare for heavy invasion forces!

17:11:51 [Admin] Marauder: I hope you like a big metal boot to the head...cause here comes more death from above!

17:11:52 [League] Vylarawnd
17:11:52 [Broadcast] Star Knight: bad dawg
17:12:07 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: he was put down. so sad.
17:12:13 [Broadcast] Joyrock: bad dog no biscuit
17:12:15 [Broadcast] Master Gabriel: Cole got another simpering lackey he wants spanked?
17:12:25 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Death from above? That's one of my favorite types of death
17:12:28 [Broadcast] Destructeon: That's just what you do with rabid animals.
17:12:31 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Along with death from below
17:12:50 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: 0 for 6 COLE!!! YOU READY TO GET ***-WHUPPED YOURSELF YET??
17:12:56 [Broadcast] Welsh Bowman: of course he does, there are always more simpering boot lickers
17:12:56 [Broadcast] Star Knight: keep racking them up and we'll keep knocking them down
17:13:12 [Broadcast] Silent Wills: Quick, someone throw out a For-Next loop!
17:13:14 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Tell that to the xenos

17:15:02 [Broadcast] Deadboy: I have to say it's F'in kewl to have them talk back to us
17:15:22 [Broadcast] Shamyra: crash me to desktop villain?? I say NAY!
17:15:25 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: So who's up next? I need another praetor to notch on my praetor whuppin' belt

17:15:28 [Admin] Anti-Matter: MUUUUUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

17:15:32 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: There we go
17:15:39 [Broadcast] Deadboy: anti matter
17:15:40 [Broadcast] Sorrows: You asked.
17:15:46 [Broadcast] Shamyra: You crashed me to desk top? Now you are in for it!
17:15:49 [Broadcast] Deadboy: bring it - cracks knuckles
17:15:51 [Broadcast] Acroyear: Who invited Anti-Matter?
17:15:52 [Broadcast] Master Gabriel: Still no response from Cole he must be bust promoting some new Praetor's to throw at us
17:15:52 [Broadcast] Celestial Smasher: Oh, look. It's the guy that steals all of Neuron's ideas.
17:15:55 [Broadcast] Null Beam: cool.... Anti-Matter...
17:16:09 [Broadcast] Star Knight: more like doesn't matter
17:16:10 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: AWWW... SNAP... here to try butt-kissing Cole now?

17:16:28 [Admin] Anti-Matter: Simpletons and FOOLS! ALL OF YOU!

17:16:38 [Broadcast] Plant Jinn: who told?
17:16:39 [Broadcast] Trevor Night: Portal Court
17:16:50 [Broadcast] Master Gabriel: whatever you lame has-been hack
17:16:51 [Broadcast] TempestWind: Our comebacks are way better than yours, Praetors.
17:16:54 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Simple maybe...but you can't fool a punch!
17:17:00 [Broadcast] Flaming Intern: Is this Anti-Matter of Rush Limbaugh?

17:17:03 [Admin] Anti-Matter: While you were wasting your time with those imbeciles that pass themselves off as *Praetors* you allowed me to manuver my army into place!
17:17:20 [Admin] Anti-Matter: We now hold Portal Corp, and you'll never take it back!
17:17:28 [Admin] Anti-Matter: PRIMAL EARTH IS MINE! BWAAAAAHAHAHAHA!

17:17:28 [Broadcast] Master Gabriel: Yeah very convenient for us whompin them thanks
17:17:33 [Broadcast] Jonnie Oblivion: seems everyone has an army nowadays
17:17:47 [Broadcast] Shamyra: we are whuppin your tinker-toys
17:17:51 [Broadcast] Star Knight: please. everyone and their brother has taken over portal corp.

17:17:52 [Admin] Anti-Matter: *erm* I mean PRIMAL EARTH IS EMPEROR COLE'S!

17:17:57 [Broadcast] Joyrock: just try and take it ya tin can
17:18:00 [Broadcast] Shamyra: who?
17:18:01 [Broadcast] Acroyear: Again with the "bwahhahahaaha." Who are these guys, the Justice League International?
17:18:10 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: I had an army once, then I killed them one day in a fit of scrapperlock
17:18:12 [Broadcast] Master Gabriel: Careful AM your ambition is showing
17:18:20 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: *stares off into the distance*
17:18:20 [League] Deadboy: rally at portal corp pls
17:18:31 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: Hey antimatter... do you take off your helmet and twirl your mustache when you say that?
17:18:40 [Broadcast] Silent Wills: Well we've already used it up, so HA! Quite the prize there Mr. Anti-Pants!

17:18:44 [Admin] Anti-Matter: ...
17:18:53 [Admin] Anti-Matter: Thanks...I don't have any hair left.

17:18:53 [Broadcast] Shamyra: And hes got nothin.....
17:18:54 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Anti-Pants? Who is talkin' about me?
17:18:55 [Broadcast] Destructeon: Are we early?

17:18:58 [Admin] Anti-Matter: JERK

17:19:22 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: and WHO'S fault is THAT, Mr. "super" scientist?
17:19:28 [Broadcast] Joyrock: ahh i love my hair
17:19:46 [Broadcast] Shamyra: no Rogaine in Praetoria?
17:19:47 [Broadcast] Master Gabriel: C'mon even Neuron could come up with a better retort, and faster top boot. No wonder your just second fiddle. Tell me do you have to wash Neurons boots?
17:19:53 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Why not design super science hair?

17:19:56 [Admin] Anti-Matter: You know...all I wanted to do was come here to Primal Earth, Dominate this dimension, have a nice lunch and call it a day! BUT NOOOOOO! MY CLEVER PANTS THERE HAD TO GO AND REMIND ME THAT I HAVE NO HAIR...

17:19:59 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: what, did Neuron give you too many high-speed noogies or something?
17:20:21 [Broadcast] Cobalt Acinacean: My pants are the cleverest.
17:20:34 [Broadcast] Jonnie Oblivion: you're also quite short for a super villain
17:20:35 [Broadcast] Shamyra: use the backhair for a comb over
17:20:49 [Broadcast] Null Beam: oh noes... he's mad now... is it too late to surrender?
17:20:51 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: I have a Degree in Clever Pants from Google University
17:21:06 [Broadcast] Joyrock: well is that all then heck ya should of said something before this
17:21:06 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Printed it out myself
17:21:07 [Broadcast] Shamyra: I want one!
17:21:13 [Broadcast] Scarborough Fair: I took Smarty Pants instead.

17:21:16 [Admin] Anti-Matter: You know...it's a good thing we're taking over this BACKWATER DIMENSION. You need a lesson in CIVILITY!
17:21:30 [Admin] Anti-Matter: AND I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU....WITH SCIENCE!

17:21:38 [Broadcast] Cobalt Acinacean: You killed us with science?
17:21:43 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Well science does solve everything
17:21:47 [Broadcast] Celestial Smasher: Weird Science.
17:21:48 [Broadcast] Scarborough Fair: He blinded me... with Science!
17:21:48 [Broadcast] Shamyra: She blinded me with science!
17:21:53 [Broadcast] Shamyra: dammit!
17:21:54 [Broadcast] Jonnie Oblivion: he blinded me with science..
17:21:56 [League] XCOM Commando: half our league isn't at portal corp. guys, come give a hand or 10?
17:21:59 [Broadcast] Destructeon: Please, my powers were given to me by science.

17:22:00 [Admin] Anti-Matter: NO KIDDING HUGE ARMY AT PORTAL CORP! THAT'S KINDA THE IDEA?!

17:22:00 [Broadcast] Scarborough Fair: Ha,
17:22:09 [Broadcast] Joyrock: why is there a dole label on your armor?
17:22:10 [League] Vylara: this sidewalk tastes funny
17:22:12 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: Will SCIENCE also get you a GIRL FRIEND??
17:22:12 [Broadcast] Mr. Permadebt: I am the king of dying at the hands of Praets!!!
17:22:13 [Broadcast] Cobalt Acinacean: He's not not that smart. I improved upon his joke, like Neuron does to all his inventions.
17:22:26 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: OHSNAP
17:22:26 [Broadcast] Celestial Smasher: He's blinding us with science? I thought Anti-Matter was blinding us with the sunlight bouncing off his bald head.

17:22:28 [Admin] Anti-Matter: BWWAAHAAAAAT?
17:22:49 [Admin] Anti-Matter: THAT HACK BARRY COULDN'T INVENT HIS WAY OUT OF A WET PAPER BAG...WITH SCISSORS!

17:22:52 [Broadcast] Jonnie Oblivion: that's not his head, he wraps it in tin foil to conduct brain waves
17:22:57 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: Now bro, take it from Zubby... give up this stupid invasion, and I'll show you how to ROCK tha BALD LOOK, baby!
17:23:06 [Broadcast] Cobalt Acinacean: I hear he invented scissors. Before you. Is that true?
17:23:07 [Broadcast] Joyrock: hay look i think one of the prators put a kick me sign on his back
17:23:10 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: In this dimension that's what we call a "BURRRRRRRRRRN!", A.M.
17:23:38 [Broadcast] Shamyra: could he cut his way out?
17:23:48 [Broadcast] Shamyra: thats what I would do.......
17:23:51 [Broadcast] Shamyra: but I am no scientist

17:23:56 [Admin] Anti-Matter: Allow me to show you what *I* call a burn...A RADIOACTIVE BURN!

17:24:01 [Broadcast] Vylara: Clearly Anti Matter's weapon is lag
17:24:24 [Broadcast] Cobalt Acinacean: I think this is the same radiation that made'im bald. Ironic?
17:24:27 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: now you see... that right there... THAT's why Cole hates you Antimatter!
17:24:33 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Radioactive burn? Seems more like a sunburn.
17:24:38 [Broadcast] Shamyra: who?
17:25:07 [Broadcast] Jonnie Oblivion: radioactive burn, i saw them at lollapalooza
17:25:10 [Broadcast] Shamyra: did we pound him yet?
17:25:14 [Broadcast] Shamyra: did they rock?
17:25:27 [Broadcast] Shamyra: falloutpalooza?

17:25:50 [Admin] Anti-Matter: Oh no! I'm doing SCIENCE and I'm still alive!

17:26:02 [Broadcast] SonicBanshee: use your inside voice Anti-Matter or ill put you in a time out!!
17:26:02 [Broadcast] Cobalt Acinacean: Neuraplooza. I'm goin'. Who's with me?
17:26:03 [Broadcast] Vylara: Running away is science?
17:26:17 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: wetting his armor is science
17:26:17 [Broadcast] Shamyra: temporary problem
17:26:25 [Broadcast] Scarborough Fair: I'm making a note here: huge success.
17:26:37 [Alliance Network]Deadboy: invasion in PI come join the lagfast and trashtalk Antimatter

17:26:39 [Admin] Anti-Matter: Maybe on my part!
17:26:47 [Admin] Anti-Matter: BWAAAAHAHAHAHA!

17:26:57 [Alliance Network]Skolia: the trashtalk is hilarious
17:26:57 [Broadcast] Celestial Smasher: So, in Praetoria, do they run their game servers on Pentium IIs and Windows 95 too?
17:27:07 [Broadcast] Star Knight: You have a doctor look at that cough
17:27:13 [Broadcast] Joyrock: its a tandy tahy say
17:27:28 [Broadcast] Null Beam: Baldy is flying about 20 ft off ground .. he is glowing green ... right off the main road to Portal Corps

17:27:31 [Admin] Anti-Matter: Windows? You still use Windows here? BWAAAHAHAHAHA!

17:27:35 [Broadcast] Shamyra: him wetting his armor is a huge success ? did I miss something?
17:27:54 [League] Zubenelgenubi: anti-matter in my sights
17:27:55 [Broadcast] Shamyra: they need to set the bar a little bit higher for ya
17:27:56 [Broadcast] Cobalt Acinacean: We use BerryOS.

17:28:00 [Admin] Anti-Matter: We converted to an ALL LINUX SYSTEM years ago at the order of Emperor Cole!

17:28:08 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Think with portals Shamyra
17:28:18 [Broadcast] Star-Master: then u are doomed, anti-matter
17:28:26 [Broadcast] Shamyra: who?
17:28:37 [Broadcast] Shamyra: Hes grounded

17:28:44 [Admin] Anti-Matter: You're the ones who are doomed...DooOoOOOmed!
17:28:49 [Admin] Anti-Matter: DOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!

17:28:49 [Broadcast] Null Beam: maybe Cole is not all that bad then... Linux...
17:28:56 [Broadcast] Shamyra: your voice was cracking....
17:29:16 [Broadcast] Joyrock: DO YOU KNOW WHY YOUR GOING TO LOSE... CUSE YOU MONOLOG
17:29:19 [Local] Cobalt Acinacean: 'Ey there.

17:29:28 [Broadcast] Shinsplint.: yawns
17:29:48 [Broadcast] Shamyra: I think his cries for doom were supposed to be in Team chat
17:30:23 [League] Vylara: did you see that? he cheated
17:30:41 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: HAX

17:30:55 [Admin] Anti-Matter: BARRY! MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL YOU THEIVING HACK!

17:31:17 [Broadcast] Zubenelgenubi: 411 FOR ANTIMATTER, WE ALREADY KICKED HIS *** - AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN!!
17:31:23 [Broadcast] Shamyra: you wont say that to his face
17:31:27 [Broadcast] Joyrock: how sweet hes calling his cupcake
17:31:28 [Local] Cobalt Acinacean: I think his hair looks great. What do you think, Keyes?
17:31:31 [Broadcast] XCOM Commando: if only you could spell Thief. Flunk English, Anti-Matter?
17:31:36 [Broadcast] Bulwark of Darkness: Did you mispell thieving?
17:31:38 [League] Vylara: neuron
17:31:45 [Broadcast] Star Knight: sigh! again?
17:31:47 [Team] Mr. Permadebt: Attacking Neuron.

17:31:57 [Admin] Anti-Matter: I don't need english!...I have SCIENCE.....*urk*

17:31:58 [Broadcast] Scarborough Fair: Praetorian language is a little different.
17:32:03 [League] Vylara: neurons I should say

All,

Over on Badge-Hunter.com, Blazing Tiger sits at the top of the list of badges with 1229. She does NOT have Bug Hunter or Passport.

Looking at the list, he DOES have Avid Reader and Agent of Praetoria. Meaning this is a Praetorian character.

But how can any Praetorian character have all the anniversary badges, as she clearly does? Is some bug involved that allowed a several-year-old Blazing Tiger to get Praetorian-only badges, or a different bug that allowed a new Praetorian character to get old anniversary badges?

OK, let me be sure I understand this...

You planned a big invasion to celebrate 7 years of this game. You make the event last for 3 HOURS on a weeknight for most servers (including mine), with NO REPEAT of the event for those who have to work or otherwise can't make it.

Then you make a special badge available but ONLY to those who will not otherwise be occupied on Memorial Day Weekend (like, just for example, helping a spouse celebrate their parents' 50th wedding anniversary).

Guys... April First was at the beginning of LAST month...






(P.S. Yes, I know you said you'd repeat the badge opportunity “in a few months,” but nonetheless...)

Subject line says it all. Roster was:

Renamon
agrau
Keltial
Zubenelgenubi
Liquid -
Beetle King Jr
LectriCat
Marut

...although not all of us were on our mains.

Lotta money for a glorified jet-ski.

All,

Last night's Midnight Dodger What Dodges at Midnight run was a big success!

All but one member of the team had Vanguard Heavies, and we all had shivans and assorted snow beasts and other pets. With the pile of bio nukes and chem nukes, Director 11 went down in something like 15-20 seconds. Easy-peasy.

On the winning team we had:

@Zubenelgenubi
@ReDorothy
@Lt. Frost
@Thul Sorapa
@Ball of Thunder
@Iron Smoke
@Captain Drej
@Synch

A couple of people wanted to join us, but we filled up. Apologies to those.

Now just a hero-side story arc to do, and Zube is back to having all the badges in the game (Except for “Arbitrary and Capricious” and “Not a Real Badge”)

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU to everyone who came out last night!!!

CURRENT LIST:

1) Zubenelgenubi
2) ReDorothy
3) Placta
4) Serpentin
5).
6).
7).
8).

10:00 PM Eastern, 7:00 PM Pacific

Tomorrow night, ReDorothy and I will be trying for the Midnight Dodger What Dodges at Midnight badge. This is the one given out for taking ZERO damage from Director 11's mines.

To join us, you will need:

1) A slotted Alpha Slot.
2) A Vanguard Heavy
3) A set of shivans
4) A biological mutation nuke
5) A chemical burn nuke
6) The ability to follow instructions


You will also need to be familiar with the Tin Mage TF. (No first-timers, please).

If we get a team with all 6 items above, it should be quite straight-forward to get the badge. Defense is favored over all else.

We plan to gather up at 8:00 PM MST.

SIGN-UP LIST:

1)Zubenelgenubi
2)ReDorothy
3).
4).
5).
6).
7).
8).