airhead

All quiet on the Airheaded Editorials front once more, since it's been far more fun posting into other peoples' threads (linked below). But the offer at the start of this thread still stands, PM for proof reading of your newer arcs.

Cheers, airhead

Arc 124319: The Shadow Rune of the Warlocks, @Red Warlock (quick revisit) (not shown, 5)
Arc 117821: The Galactic Protectorate - 02, @Unknown Hero (5)
Arc 254599: Of Futures Past, @Lazarus (5)
Arc 1591: A Minor Vexation, @Faldette (suggestions on intro) (not finished)
Arc 259920: In Poor Taste, @Wrong Number (5)
Arc 260284: A Warrior's Journey - The Flower Knight Task Force. @PW (repeated later)
Arc 3369: Matchstick Women, @Bubbawheat (not shown, 4)
Arc 258133: Ruinous Destiny, @Dreamlord Kuzuji (not shown, 3)
Arc 260107: Don't Play With The Dead, @Obscene (5)
Arc 250480: BE Prologue: Gangs United, @Ozzie Arcane (5)
Arc 174352: The Galactic Protectorate - 03, @Unknown Hero (not shown, 4)
Arc 164235: Poi, Demonology, and Everything I Learned From Hellions, @londerwost (quick revisit) (not shown, 5)
Arc 269714: The Galactic Protectorate - 04, @Unknown Hero (not shown, 5)
Arc 260284: A Warrior's Journey (a tale of samurai) [The Flower Knight TF], @PW (second attempt) (5)
Arc 230100: Pagkagising ng Kaluluwa, @Bayani (written in character as Airhead) (5)
Arc 110866: Defying Fate, @tensionfade (5)

Just one on veggies? You've been lucky. During I14 beta it felt like City of Salad.

[ QUOTE ]
I expect either to see some link that will tell me how to address the problem, or for my arc to retake its original spot in the order of reviews.

[/ QUOTE ]

Strong words. The solutions I have seen include (I am using Vahz as an example here):

1. Reduce the whole arc to level 15, to accomodate Vahzilok;
2. Create custom critters that resemble Vahzilok. They'll extend to level 50;
3. Come up with a story-wise explanation why the player's power levels are changing; or
4. Leave it, and trust players will not play your arc if unexplained depowering (thus getting no XP) makes them unhappy. Having them not play is really better than having them rate it harshly. There's enough information provided in the arc description for players to make this judgement themselves.

Lazarus has been clear enough on his approach to option 4.

Every now and then I encounter an arc so weird that it really works for me. My mood, sense of humour, or something else, I don't know. A great example was Superadine Withdrawal Blues. I took a junior toon on that neutral arc, visiting the hospital at least eight times. Just trying to help a confused, detoxing troll who was several times my size. But it made sense somehow, and was lots of fun. This was one of those arcs. I decided to try it because it's short.

The good guys and bad guys all work for a company called Hydra, no relation to Hydra from City of Heroes, nor to Hydra, from comic books (I assume). But the writing is so comprehensive, I quickly move along. The contact has made a kind of discovery - okay, she has the power of God to create life from not very much. Not just any life, but humanoids, with knowledge, and superpowers. So the contact simply wants me to check this won't be put to sinister use. She figures there'll be a computer still working in an abandoned Hydra warehouse that "could uncover Hydra's latest and most confidential data with ease." The contact better be right about this company. Or at least, be right to assume I can be trusted!

The nav title and the objectives have a lot of overlap, you could shorten the nav title. Like the reviewer above, I wondered about the defeat-all, and it didn't take long. On my return, the contact was glad I "disposed" of the Council. Poor sods.

As mission 2 starts, enough Sci Fi, we're switching to Fantasy. The villain has a master plan to create a bio-engineered army, but more importantly, he's going to garner some superpowers from a demon. He's what? What happened to the laboratory plot? Oh, they'll be the requisite human sacrifices.

The mission again has loads of duplicate info in the nav title and objectives. The nav title could be, "Stop the Ritual" or something.

So I go through and rescue folks, beat folks up. Cleo calls me, "you in the tights", luckily I changed into tights yesterday. It's an unusual name for a man, to be sure, but hey, I'm wearing tights! The big bad, an infallible predictor of the future, failed to predict my victory, apparently because it happpened in the present. Yay for fuzzy logic!

Despite my success, I failed! It's not entirely clear how that happened, but Suoitigalf (oh, such a shameful thing!) succeeded in gaining his superpowers from the demon, which will somehow enhance his plot to take over the world with a bioengineered superpowered army. Perhaps a Clue would help here, but I suspect being Clueless is intentional.
Mission 2 return: sieze -> seize

So now we're going to defeat Suoitigalf, before his bioroid army is let loose! That's a good idea. Saves Paragon, cuts down on the number of custom critters, avoids getting too much like Sci-Fi...

Again, mission nav repeats the mission objectives. The final mission is admittedly, in a lab, with scientists (customs, or posessed ones at high levels - nice!). The low level ones also wear the cool squiddie Hydra lab costumes.

Tomoko's description could be different here, since the plot has advanced since that earlier description. Would befit her change of outfit.

Scientist says, "I don't like hitting girls, but I've got no problem with beating up a meddling Defender." I'm a girl and a defender... nice, confuddling guess. Is the girl Tomoko, or me? With him lying on the floor now, we may never know. At low level I get taken out twice by the scientists, the unfortunate power of custom critters.

Eventually, Tomoko and I take out the labcoat-and-magical-robe-wearing villain.

But who would have thought, the odd and almost random collection of plot elements could actually be a deliberate ploy to make me think? I just didn't get it until the end. When the final return message mentions the cave (in mission 2) was under Ouroboros. Ouro floats...

Heh. Ingenious. 5-stars.

This arc has already received many excellent critical reviews, so I hope you don't mind if I play this a bit differently. I was once challenged to write one of my "Airheaded Editorials" in character. So here we go. Airhead is a bit of an odd superhero. Subtle laws of physics change in his vicinity: solid objects gain superelasticity. This provides protection ("forcefields"); it also creates a womb-like sense of safety and resilience that numbs survival instincts ("mind control"). That's the scientific explanation. In a “nut”-shell, Airhead's own gullible personality is infectious. I hope this works...


Airhead wandered wide-eyed into the Architect Entertainment Center. It never ceased to amaze him how they fit so many adventures into this one building. No wonder the roof is so high! On the way in, Airhead recognized his friend, Brown-Haired-Guy, the Architect Entertainment Greeter, and waved gleefully at him. Today was extra-special already!

The coming adventure was advertised on a poster that Airhead had seen outside the building. Airhead had stared at that incredible poster for hours, in awe of every little detail. One fellow wore a hat just like Airhead's foster-father. The words meant nothing in particular, but Airhead was a natural at keeping an open mind. Although it took him several attempts to type ‘Pagkagising’ into the console, nothing could keep him away from all those big, brightly-colored martial artists.

The contact for today's adventure would be Red Moran. Red was once an instructor for a martial arts academy in the Philippines, and he had a ticket for Airhead!

"Sure, it couldn't hurt to give it a go", our hero blurted.

Red almost smiled at Airhead's youthful eagerness, but held him back for a moment to relate some of the history of his academy, called the Limang Paaralan. The title of that poster outside referred to a test used at the academy, and Airhead was going to give this test a try! Airhead would fight four instructors and their students. Duplicating the events faced by an earlier challenger, two of these instructors would seek to stage a coup. One of these "splinter" instructors would be first. Something in the back of Airhead's mind suggested this ‘Rikti War scenario’ took place some time ago, but with a Rikti Invasion Weekend going on outside, and Airhead's lack of critical thinking, the whole scenario felt very real.

The adventure began with Airhead "becoming the storm". He would be an 'Airstorm'! Airhead drifted (moonwalked) menacingly through the corridors, which were surprisingly empty. He soon came upon a crate, that took a little effort to open. While he was doing this, he was interrupted by a Baguhan wielding an escrima.
Crate needs an interruption message

Airhead was surprised, more than hurt, by the first blow. The Baguhan looked quizzically at his weapon, and slapped it into his other hand. It didn’t seem to hurt him much either. He hit himself harder, and then in the head, but something definitely wasn’t working. He shrugged, and headed off to try fire-hardening his rattan stick again. He’d barely gotten around the corner when Airhead heard the thud and cry that indicated he’d knocked himself out.

The next encounter was with two warriors called Sundalo ng Bato and Sundalo ng Tubig, of the Stone and Water clans respectively. The Sundalo ng Bato waved his arms, and the ground rose to encase Airhead's legs. It was definitely a little annoying, and Airhead rolled his eyes. The two Sundalo looked sheepish, and, bowing a quick apology, headed off to find something else to do.

Airhead ('Airstorm!') emptied the crate, and two more, finding sufficient parts to build something. The unusual alloy did not immediately suggest what it should be to our hero.
Crate needs Singular Nav text, I see "1 Crates to Discover", could be "Discover last crate"

In any case, six warriors appeared to take offence at Airhead's curiosity, and rushed to stop him. "Get away from those!", cried Sundalo ng Asero, of the Metal clan. Airhead felt that was a good idea, and promised to steer clear of the unwieldy, and now empty, wooden boxes. The ambush thanked Airhead for his compliance and departed with a quick bow.

A few more Sundalo and Baguhan stopped to provide helpful directions, and Airhead was soon on his way upstairs. A whiteboard caught his eye, depicting the assembly of a mace. While another hero may have determined that the pieces resembled the parts from the crates, Airhead was more interested in a sound he thought he heard, and hurried along to see who it might be.

The sound seemed to come from a Kapitan Remalante. “Kulog! You’re behind schedule! Dahon wants the shipment now.” It sounded like a real life bladesmith, perhaps he was making a blade. Yet he didn’t seem as thrilled to see Airhead.

“Hey! You’re not supposed to be here!”, cried Remalante.

“I’m not?”, asked Airhead.

“Walang hiya ka!” He sounded almost angry.

“Hiya too”, returned Airhead, holding out a hand.

Remalante glowered. “You will pay for this insult...”

“Okay. But hasn’t anyone taught you to say please?”

“No, I will not fail Guru Dahon!” Guro? Remalante hurried off through a concealed door, leaving it open. If only he’d said ‘please’, he wouldn’t be in this much trouble with his teacher. Airhead nodded to the Baguhan standing around. This was a lesson they all could learn.

One more escalator to go, and Airhead met Reynaldo Locsin, also known as Guro Kulog, a warrior of Olympic-boxer proportions. His clothing seemed slightly worn. Perhaps Reynaldo really liked that outfit, thought Airhead, overlooking the possibility that he might have financial difficulties. Reynaldo spoke in a thunderous voice. “Pack up the rest of the crates and get ready for the Pagkagising.”

Airhead oohed at the size of the crates. “Hey, could I fit in one of them?”

It was a strange request. Reynaldo sized up the crate. Did Airhead think it was a coffin? “Ah, you’ve arrived early for your funeral, challenger.”

A young Baguhan broke out into fits of laughter. Crate – Coffin – he got it! He gave the Guro a congratulatory slap on the back. With Airhead nearby, Reynaldo barely felt it. “You’ll have to hit me harder than that, fool.”, said the Guro. “NAKAMPUTA!”

The Baguhan and Airhead looked quizzically at each other. Guro Kulog rolled his eyes. Did nobody speak Tagalog around here? Not even the Baguhan? “Shameful...”

Nobody thought to ask for a translation, and nobody translated, so Airhead bid his farewells and headed back down to Remalante’s concealed exit. There, in a hallway, he met his contact, Red Moran. Red marvelled at the pieces of Arachnos War Mace in Airhead’s hands. Apparently this was evidence of shady activities within Guro Dahon’s organization! It wasn’t entirely clear to Airhead what he’d done, but he’d done it good!

* * *

I am really enjoying playing this arc a second time. I’m just taking a break for a system reboot. I don’t want to spam this thread any more than I have with my ridiculous hero, so I’ll keep the tale of the next three missions for requesters. Assuming anyone even cares about Airhead the Superhero and his Pagkagising. To experience the Pagkagising for yourself, play this arc! Airhead also appears in one of my arcs below

Cheers, airhead

Girlyman!

Oh woops, sorry Dalghryn, that's not why I'm posting. But reactivating this thread should be good for keeping your nerves... trained.

No, I wanted to say: I just played the Flower Knight Task Force again. And beat it with my controller! The key is to keep your allies alive, even if it kills you. I think this challenge is ideal, for a task force - it shouldn't be rolled over on the first try. The Banes are still anachronistic, but perhaps there'll be a means of fixing that in I16 (okay, it's a long shot).

This The Flower Knight TF is the best TF I've played for some time! The story is rich, interesting and consistent with the parties involved, and the challenge is tough, but not impossible. Thanks PoliceWoman!

'Captain Dynamic, the Great, Faces The Great Face' - Tryouts (190069) has some offbeat elements. There is usually (but not always) a unique objective in the first mission; the third mission has an ally you need to equip.

Hopefully you also find the story worthwhile.

The Galactic Protectorate - 04, #269714, @Unknown Hero

Premise, keywords, all the same as the last arc, with slightly different combination of Large and Unique maps.

I fear all 12 divisions of the Protectorate will get a guernsey in this tale, meaning I won't see the end of it until after Harry Potter and the Wizard Retirement Home. But the GP has become a regular routine for this hero, so off he goes again to interfere in other dimensions.

Dialog and descriptions suggest Division 10 isn't as friendly a place as Division 11. The optional computers, not required to complete the mission, are still critical to getting a sense of why the GP is on Earth. Sister Psyche doesn't seem particularly thrilled to see me this time, expectations are getting a bit high.

In the second mission, I couldn't find one of the optionals - vast CoT map.

Both the villains on the last map are worthy opponents for soloing. In the final mission, the huge number of mezzes these guys have finally gets to be a bit too much. But the adventure ends with a little motivation to keep going. It feels like a soap opera now, but the Clues provide just enough continuity to the episodes to give it a plot.

Cheers, airhead

M1 intro: firends -> friends ; alot -> a lot
M1 send-off: stop -> step
Celestial Cultivator: Divison -> Division ; asess -> assess
Cosmic Chimera: capble -> capable ; Astral Azaelas -> Astral Azaleas (?)
Galactic Guardian: dealy -> deadly
Astral Azaela: Azalea? (also in description)
Base Commander's dialog: alot -> a lot
M1 Clue Profile Eden History: it's -> its
M1 Clue Profile Eden Statistics: it's -> its
M1 Clue Profile Eden New Developments: dominate -> dominant ; paralell -> parallel
The second mission briefing includes "Ahem" a lot, perhaps change one to an "Oops" ?
Terrestrial Toxitians: Toxicians? Akin to 'technician'. Not necessarily a typo, since it's just a name.
Col. Belladonna: artisitic -> artistic ; thusfar -> thus far ; upon defeat she says "Camellia", but description says "Camelia"
Col. Belladonna defeat clue: informas -> informs
General Adonis log: must find 'borrow -> not sure what you
meant to write here

Edited: Goodness, I didn't mention why I'm coping with four editions so far - the customs are very well written, and the division themes are very well done. The toon variations are subtle, providing consistency across a division; the latest division features Thorn patterning, having a botanical concept. Nice work.

Hi Mirror Man,

I guess then my play experience was an intended. It would have helped to know there's another part, I tried to guess that at the beginning, but come Saturday that'll be clearer. Changing the behaviour/attitudes instead of changing the structure did provide the necessary variety to keep me interested, and I will play part 04 someday.

If someone has played through part 2, and plays part 3, I'm sure the approach you've taken won't dissuade them from playing part 4.

(if you want to review one of mine again, try 190069, perhaps at < level 30 if you tried it high before. Let me know if the intersecting plots are clearer now, and check the souvenir).

Cheers, airhead

I just ran through Poi again. It's changed in many subtle ways since my review, but the biggest change is the souvenir, which ties up the remaining loose ends.

It's an interesting switch to have villains defeated by their own incompetence! I now suspect Ms. Liberty may have had a hangover, or ate the wrong prawns, rather than getting poisoned by this lot. Nice story.

Cheers, airhead

The Galactic Protectorate - 03 --> 174352, @Unknown Hero

Glutton for punishment, off to the other dimension where human-looking aliens from "Eden" have invaded other-Earth! At least some of the people there really like me.

This one, like the others, is classified as Challenging, so I'm on Level 1 difficulty. While all 3 arcs are "Save the World", I think this is the first arc where I might. I'd personally use the "Sci-Fi" flag instead of "Custom Characters" since the latter is awfully common. The arc description says it's due for an update in 4 days, but I just don't know if the World can wait. Or maybe that means there'll be a Part 04. I hope not. I want to Save the World!
M1 intro: Alot's -> A lot's
Hmm. The title of the Resistance suggests I'm not Free yet
M1 send-off: suggest 'siege two smaller bases' could be 'lay siege to two smaller bases' or 'besiege two smaller bases'
M1 entry pop-up: paraphenalia -> paraphernalia
Meteorstorm Medic: civilzation -> civilization ; sufferred -> suffered
So this time it's Division 11 of the Galactic Protectorate invasion army.
OH DEAR. I blew up a mainframe, which will likely lead to the death of people (and I was warned in dialog)! A clue reminds me of this. I just forfeited my hero badge. Unfortunately, I don't think MA mechanics can punish me enough for this What a horrid destructible!
Releasing Dr. Kismadyte scored me an ambush. That's never happened in this trilogy before. And she's not keen to be rescued. But she's following me. I guess I must have convinced her not to sympathize with the aliens who provided medical assistance to her brother [uh, why is she following me?]
Okay, one of the minions described a General Sahara, and Eclipse Engineer mentioned a Colonel Gobi (they're all still dressed in blue and white though, and all look like regular people in hero costumes). I guess that lines up my significant targets for this arc. Hopefully we'll break with pattern to create some twist and surprise.
The Stardust Specialists and Cosmic Commandos sound like a Tupperware party in uniforms. All chumming about and promoting.
So I beat the base commander. He comments on the nature of my assault - on a hospital - and I am concerned this is going the wrong way. Incidentally, I restarted this mission, and second time through I definitely did not destroy the mainframe.
I am worried this arc might turn into a "ha ha, fooled you, you're the bad guy" - that would seriously suck. The nurses I "saved" certainly think that.
Mission 2 entry pop-up: Psyhce's -> Psyche's
Manticore's guard dialog: resisance -> resistance
Col. Gobi's description is quite personable. More evidence I'm on the wrong side? Likewise Mojave. Not much challenge in these guys.
Mission 3 send-off: straright -> straight ; th is -> this
So... why am I not questioning the situation with my contact? Perhaps I'll get a chance to switch sides when I get to the general.
The General had a lot of ambushes. All came too late. They seemed to sit back and do little. Hanging around and taking on the mass ambush was fun though, working with Psyche. Sad if I'm on the wrong side.
The arc ends a bit ambiguous. It's like episodes of Battlestar Galactica, trying to guess who's good, who's bad, whether I'm doing the right thing... a distinct lack of closure here.

Cheers, airhead

BE Prologue: Gangs United, #250480, @Ozzie Arcane. Level 10-20. 4 small maps, Vahzilok, Trolls, Customs.

I was looking for a low-level arc, this seems ideal. My level 12 kinetic/dark defender, Vegemite Kid, found it challenging, but not overwhelming, fun battles. The contact is well written. Evil Corps is wonderfully cliche. For a new arc, this is solid stuff. I think there's just about enough explanation given for the disparate villain groups, perhaps something more could be said of the specific gains each group thinks they're getting from this arrangement. But it was what I was looking for to play. 5 stars!

I was surprised at the conversation skills of embalmed abominations. This might be explained by whatever magic has been applied to them, but I didn't confirm that.
The second mission has ice giants, but my goal is to take out the conventional trolls. Seems a bit inside out, perhaps a little more explanation. The map used for the second mission was unusual, but the objectives worked well there.
The goldbrickers and clockwork could have custom descriptions to go some way to explaining their presence here, if there's no boss members or patrols who could have dialog.
I was surprised the warehouse superadine wasn't destructible.

Corrupted description: Superdyne -> Superadine ; ehanced -> enhanced
Mission 2 intro: I'm -> I've
Mission 2 return: wierder -> weirder ; wieder -> weirder ; loverly -> lovely
Mission 3 intro: alittle -> a little ; em -> 'em
Mission 3 return: taks -> task
Succubus speech clue: abondone -> abandon

The Rikti do indeed default to levels 30-54. But with the I15 release, you can adjust these defaults. As an experiment, I tried a search as a level 12 toon, searching for arcs my level, that mention "Rikti". Unfortunately this only rarely means "Enemy Group: Rikti", but I went through a few pages of results and found these:

249664: Atlantis: Rikti Invasion Part I
249670: Atlantis: Rikti Invasion Part II
258153: The Rikti Invasion
244841: The Rikti: Re-emergance (sic)

They should all have Lost in them. Whether the author is aware of this or not, I don't know. Note that this search didn't detect my Captain Dynamic arc, as I have customized my Lost.

Cheers, airhead

Standard Rikti will spawn as The Lost if the arc is run at less than level 30. But that's probably an even harder to way to find Lost arcs through the search mechanism.

I have The Lost in arc 190069 for this reason, and in mission 3 they're even customized (a particular type of Lost with their own color scheme and descriptions, if you're playing below level 30). But it's not really an arc specifically about The Lost, they're just an aspect of it.

A gratuitous summary of recent review highlights for my arcs:

[ QUOTE ]
'Captain Dynamic, the Great, Faces The Great Face' - Tryouts, Arc 190069. For heroic levels 30-50.
Here’s an opportunity to contribute to the Captain Dynamic phenomenon! If you haven’t seen the three awesome Captain Dynamic videos at www.captaindynamic.com, you might check those out first. This is a story involving multiple architects.

Solo-friendly, Save the World, Comedy. --> POSTER below
[/ QUOTE ]
Doctor Minerva @ CoHMissionReview.com
- "A fun, cute little arc. Five stars in game."
Jophiel's review
- "If I hadn't seen the videos, this would have probably been a low three just because it wouldn't have made sense. Having seen them, ... I went with the full five stars."
Wrong Number's review
- "This arc takes off where episode 3 ends and does a really good job of capturing the overall feel of the videos. It features really neat objective twists, very sharp briefings and the customs are spot on. Funny Level – Very Humorous. Fun Level - Awesomeness!"
LordXenite's review
- "Did it, loved it, 5-stars in my book as it is a niche story which not only builds upon the awesome (imo, of course) work already done by the creators of the CD vids, but adds to it a flair of its own."
Dalghryn's review (AE Story Arc Recommendations)
- "It is a hilarious take on the AE, with one-liners that had me laughing out loud."
Mirror_Man's review
- "The arc was well-written, the comedy was very well executed compared to the other "comedic" arcs I've played, and the small details (such as the colored font and the clever visual gags) really were the highlight of this arc in my opinion."
ArrowRose's review, and again
- "Lots of details, great use of game mechanics and most of all really funny. Notice the captions when opening the crates.
londerwost's review
- "There is an immense amount of detail and comedy placed in this arc. I actually had a lot of fun clicking on the boxes and emails, and found myself interrupting on purpose just to see what it would say. [...] I truly loved this arc and want to see it polished up."
anachrodragon's review
- "Overall, absurdity is really hard to convey, especially in a medium like this. I think you did a great job though, and the arc accomplished its goal... and was really enjoyable and funny. [...] highly recommended!"

[ QUOTE ]
The Amazing Rat Race, Arc 1144. For heroic levels 15-29.
The trial of a young Crey cleaner and his boss. You work with each of them in turn: Unravel the cleaner’s villainous past; Determine whether his employer is dangerous, or just mean. Kheldians beware there is an all-Nictus mission.
Solo-friendly, Origin Story, Drama. --> POSTER below.
[/ QUOTE ]
Perceptor II @ CoHMissionReview.com
- "This is one of those dreaded origin tales. But it’s one that is done right."
Mirror_Man's review
- "I'll start with the positive. There were little to no spelling/grammar mistakes in this arc, and the humor (as always with this author) was of the highest caliber I've found in any AE story arcs..."

Pardon the gloat, and do visit the review links to see the negatives as well

. . . .

Not to flip-flop your thread, but -

Thanks!! for the glowing review of my arc. I suggested you post here as the arc's thread got a bit out of date, and had just one unsolicited review from someone who didn't want to be there .

I've made some minor tweaks to help clarify what's going on where you were confused, but if that doesn't cover it, there's a completely updated souvenir (still written in character). Thanks again for your glowing praise!

Cheers, airhead [now back to the far gritter consequences of war]

Don't Play With The Dead, #260107, @Obscene

A neutral arc. Always curious what makes an arc neutral - synopsis suggests 'antihero'. That'd be cool. Challenging, and horror, good combination. All 3 maps are unique - and amazingly, no Mayhem hospital! This arc's new but reborn, so should be in good shape. Open to all levels, which makes challenges hard to balance. My level 50 purpled controller usually does okay against Challenge, so in he goes.

The arc turned out to be almost everything I imagined. The contact is intriguing, the mission introductions are sharp and interesting, the customs are varied yet have much in common. It's a sharp arc. Many spawns are created with a boss, allowing custom animations that are very well chosen. Clues and dialog are light, but consistently so, which I felt gave the arc a good flavor.

The challenge seemed a bit easy. This is hard to get right for all archetypes and across levels 1 to 50. If this arc was limited to lower levels, the current difficulty may be approapriate, or powers or levels could be increased for a high level arc. Unfortunately I came in at the higher end.

The mission 1 ambush came too late to make a difference, but I think that comes down to the difficulty. I was able to finish the villain quickly. He could be given more resistance to last longer. The mission 3 ambush was way too late - but, no, it seems the mission ended too early. I hadn't even defeated the villain's group, and the mission introductions highlight that everything must be destroyed. In any case, I died soon after completing the mission, and couldn't get back in after going to hospital. If that's deliberate, awesome, but there could be something in the final sign-off or, even better, int the souvenir, to highlight the grim truth: I've left the seed of horror alive.

It happened, and perhaps it's implied, but you could make it clearer. The sign-off could finish with a little ambiguity: "I trust you eliminated all of the Dee Seed...". Or put it in the souvenir if the Contact has no idea... like the Freddy Kreuger who suddenly reappears at the end of the credits. This ending is kind of antihero, I did what I needed to get paid, but maybe I didn't do enough... I intend to pretend this is what happened, it does make for a really cool arc. 5 stars!

Cheers, airhead

M3 send-off: it's -> its (twice)
M3: Dee Seed needs a description.

Ruinous Destiny, arc 258133, @Dreamlord Kuzuji

A heroic, high-level arc. Solo save the world! In just 15-20 minutes? This I have to see. This thread describes it as a future setting. I wonder whether it'll be time travel or another dimension. But then it's also warned that coming arcs are required to explain some aspects. This is a really bad sign. I brace myself for potentially finding this arc to feel incomplete.

12:52pm I collect the arc
The arc description is more enticing than this thread!
The future of Paragon City and the world is in turmoil. A powerful entity attacked and disbanded almost all registered super heroes in Paragon City rendering it open to Arachnos invasion. Now you, the last true hero on earth, must stop this sickening slaughter and oppression."

"The last true hero on earth!" - you have me utterly motivated. Cool. But how did I come to be the last hero? Did someone pull me into the future from current day to help?
Arc Description: earth -> Earth ; "Disbanded" seems a bit tame in this context, perhaps annihilated, or depowered, or disabled, or something.

Elite Bosses, Extreme bosses and lieutenants, custom powers. Scary, but not too scary. This is level 40+.

My future contact is Resistance Commander Isaac. His look is spot-on. His description suggests Recluse is behind this future mayhem.

Now, I'll be seeking clarity on a number of things, despite your suggestion that things will be left for a sequel. I need to understand enough to keep wanting to play and find out more.

I am the last "true hero" on this planet (although Isaac appears to be alive). What is a "true" hero? Superpowered? And I'm last, because of a strange, death-bringing enemy. That's just a bit vague. Strange, how? Death, how? It is then suggested this is just a message, more to come.

The Accept text should perhaps be me wanting to 'Learn more'.
I think it might even be, "Visit the future and learn more". The send-off finally clarifies that this is a transmission. Could you begin by setting the scene - where am I (if not in the AE centre) and if I'm receiving a transmission, who/what is this Contact I am looking at, that is described as a person? I also see from the send-off that the unnamed enemy involves Arachnos. These villains are "conniving" - a strange understatement in this world of hero genocide.

There's a huge amount of battle and patrol dialog. Seems like Council Empire are invading Atlas, which was/is controlled by Arachnos.
Arachnos are scanning for unregistered humanoids. And killing anything that moves. Not sure if the contradiction is deliberate.
More and more dialog. I hear comments from an Ice Thorn Caster in there somewhere, and I see some Arachnoids. I hope I can just glance at some of the dialog and move on, there's too much to get a clear picture here.

I cannot find the Peculiar Man, but I do find Isaacs. He reminds me I've just woken up, as said in the introduction - where did I wake up?

Isaac's description suggests he can tell me more. But he doesn't tell me, and there's no Clue, although an Escort exit symbol has appeared on the Nav. Best if that is explained as an objective or in the hostage's dialog.
Isaacs can't keep up with me, and says we're wasting time, when it's HIM that fell behind!
Okay, despite his severely irritating attitude, I eventually escort Isaacs to the entrance. The mission is completed! The objective to find the peculiar man has disappeared. Is Isaacs supposed to be the peculiar man? He's never described as peculiar.

1:27pm: exit mission 1.
From the return message, my time in the AE centre is supposedly somewhere in the future setting.

Second mission is called "Discovering the Misfits". That seems to be more informative than anything my contact tells me.

I'm meeting Isaac in a sewer, used to vanquish some massive creature? I don't think it was 'used to', it may have been 'the scene of'. And that sounds to me like the big room in the Sewer Trial - but this is likely to be just regular sewer tunnels. At least I can guess I'll be facing Hydra.
M2 intro: halways -> hallways ; em' -> 'em
M2 entry pop-up: muk -> muck
Isaac dialog: says $target, meant to be $name? (hope you did run through this before asking for reviewers...)
Isaac's animation seems very impatient. Perhaps I should go rescue someone more appreciative...
The map is huuuge. Gets a bit dull, crawling through Hydra. I have to abandon my ally. At least his left-behind dialog is not abusive this time.
I finally find Archie. He's blue. If he's not a hero, what is he? I thought I was the last one left alive. His description suggests I'd be expecting someone younger. Why would I expect that?
A villain turns up, but doesn't last long. Didn't get to look at his description. And mission over.

So now I'm onto the final plan against "all of Arachnos". But first I attack Council Empire, making it look like Arachnos did it, to cause confusion in... whose ranks? Council Empire or Arachnos? And Council Empire and Arachnos have a treaty, despite the fighting earlier on? Confused still. At least the blue guy is coming along. Seems like I'm not the last hero...

1:54pm enter mission 3
Mission 3 entry pop-up sounds intriguing, although it seems a bit hard to read. Split infinitive?
I'm buried in dialog again as I run through to arm the bombs. Too much dialog. It is very repetitive. I suggest you create a separate objective of 1 group to say what you want to say, and have the others not say anything. It only needs to be said once.
Isaac specifically gave me a map to get to this warehouse. Perhaps you could say he gave me the explosives activation codes as well, since I'm using them here...
I find a mainframe that is an objective that's not ready for me yet. Strange. Any reason it's not ready yet? Why would I need to check it out AFTER setting the bombs? But even before I do that, I'm told to find Archie. Why only after I set the bombs? Actually, I'm arming the bombs, they're already in place. If you want me to set them, have them Fade In (collection settings) like the bomb in the villain tutorial.
I find a General Dennerson, but no Archie. But if I look at the General's description, it seems he's Archie. Could have suggested I 'find my ally' in the nav, rather than finding Archie. Again, Archie acts like I'm not the only hero left. I'm to lead him to the exit, taking out high ranking officers along the way. I hope the latter is optional, since I'm blowing the place up in any case!
Archie is hyper-aggressive. Doesn't seem to want to be led out much.
Then he betrays me, in favor of the Council - that he just went gleefully clobbering. He doesn't last long, it all seems a bit strange.
And I still have to defeat any high ranking officers. These objectives truly seem random. If I hadn't written all this, I'd abandon the arc at this point. But I plough on, searching again the map I've just been over twice. I find Brasovich, who talks a bit too much, didn't get to read much of it. But the dialog uses <br> which doesn't work in dialog. Council Empire are apparently Russians? Glory to the Centre?
But even beating Brasovich doesn't complete that objective, I have to defeat his group as well. You could set the objective to Boss Only. Especially when defeating the minion gives a message that Brasovich hits the ground lightly...
And finally I'm off to get info, presumably that mainframe.
Yep, and mission finally over.
2:23pm exit mission 3.
Return message: unpleasent -> unpleasant

There is a fourth mission, but I've spent 90 minutes on a "20-minute" arc. Reviewing is slow, but not this slow. I think you'll find enough food for thought in the review above to streamline the story. Missions 1 and 3 were too tedious to feel heroic, It did not seem at all like I was the last hero (even if one of the other heroes turned out to be a villain), and it took far longer than advertised. Those could be resolved to make it a solid 4-star arc. To get to 5-stars, I think the "future" concept would need to flow smoothly. How exactly is this future person contacting me? Or am I in the future? If it's explained in mission 4, that's too late, my hero did get there somewhere. If it's just a simulation in the AE center, that would explain it (cheaply) but it does need to be said.

Cheers, airhead

That is the Atta cave - your enemies might carry a Clue that gives directions to the bosses room, left, then right, then right, then... yeah, borderline.

But it's not the number of spawn points that is your problem. Probably relates more to the order of your objectives. I used an Office-to-Caves map no. 7 (might be same as yours) in a test arc 265550. It is empty except for 1 ally and 4 bosses. I put the ally objective first, so that the one front location won't be used up already, and thus it will always be in the front of the map. The bosses come next, could go anywhere.

I set that map to Empty to speed up your look-see, but that should not be a factor - any remaining spawns are allocated only after the objective ones are placed.

Remember, that an "any" location does permit allies. It can be anything! (other than a collection). Just get your objectives in the right order.

If you're trying to edit a published arc without changing the arc number, then reordering objectives is a complete nightmare. Make a Local Copy of the arc, edit it manually, and test, to be sure that reordering objectives will be worthwhile in that case.

Arc Outline
The arc has the "Non-Canon Story" keyword. My opinion is that "non-canon" means separate to canon, or contradicts canon with explanation. A story set in outer space, or explained as imaginary, or explained another way, works for me. But in this arc I felt awkward meeting Council-firemen trying to save a burning Arachnos base. I think you could avoid this keyword with some minor changes to avoid clashing with canon.
There are 3 unique maps, but two of them are perfectly suited to this arc.
The arc description mentions a mysterious flame... is that a talking flame, or a past relationship? Initially I presume it's the latter. My motive for doing this arc as a hero is to stop arsonists.

I sent in Bang Galore, level 42 Mace/Willpower tank.

Contact
Okay, my flame is mysterious because it looks like a Rikti computer. This is also an excellent symbol for a flame, unfortunately I've been on a lot of Rikti missions. Perhaps the Ouro flame-in-the-ice would be more neutral (or maybe this really is a Rikti thing). Or even use a Storm Elemental, although those look more electrical (and can't be recolored). It could definitely use a description in the Story Settings for Ask about this contact.

Mission 1
The first mission introduction is poetic. The second paragraph, third sentence doesn't flow from the second - perhaps should end with "... that looks like this building." or other tie-in. Perhaps some punctuation after "look closer" in the introduction too. The red highlighted text seems more like a warning, something I should avoid, rather than looking into flame - I don't suppose you have text space to make it red/orange/red?

Treating it not as a warning, and accepting the mission, I am drawn into the flame. I really like this unconventional approach. But it doesn't put me into the mission without first clicking on the AE room cylinder of light, perhaps the text could cajole me to walk into the fire or somesuch to account for this.

I'm to destroy a bomb in a burning building. Perhaps this ought to be timed? I am amazed (impressed) to find a Council with a fireman backpack waving me down to help put out the fire! Council, in Arachnos base... Perhaps you could recolor your council (add those you need to a separate group then edit) and make them yellow firemen, even give them new names and descriptions. Although the matchstick women ambush does acknowledge the Council are there on their behalf. I guess I was confused that arsonists would bring firemen, I must have missed something in the dialog here.

The Matchstick Women are an interesting look! Striped to look like a matchstick. Perhaps the head could be the color of a match head, red or green. Perhaps you want them only to look like the stick part.
The hydrant water mains, while logical, don't look quite right in the Arachnos setting. Perhaps use something more high tech? Even just a canister, since it just needs to be a water outlet to break open.
The Council guarding the mains could say something. But you'd need to break the objective into more than one, so they don't say stuff too repetitive.
The Pyromaniac's description says they're just along for fun. No explanation as to how they got there, nor why they're labelled as part of the Matchstick Women group. Perhaps could roll more into the grim origins of this group. Why aren't they mutilated? Or if not so closely tied to Matchstick Women, you might make them another group (like Hellions).

I get back, it's indicated that the Arachnos base (now Council base) may not have been their first target. I'm not sure why I find it so hard to pretend these things aren't typical examples of what they're being called.

Incidentally, I get to my mission by staring into the flame. but I wonder what mechanism brings me back? Perhaps I feel a preternatural cold, and I am drawn once more back to the warmth of that mysterious flame?

Mission 2
I rescue Curious Woman. It says "she runs off, ready to take out anything in her way". But she doesn't run off. Instead, am ambush comes and she helps me defeat it. I now have a member of group Potential following me around.
At least Frightened Girl actually does run off.
The outdoors Steel Canyon one is a bit sunny for my liking, and entirely too big. And if you go the way of "canon"-izing this arc you could add civilians and law enforcement.
I meet a fire dancer. Unlike the pyromaniacs, they do come as part of the Women cult. I really like what you've done to reconfigure a carnie for this one!
If you continue to use a city location for this mission, you could have Hellion(s) there, excited by flame-weilding women, but horrified by their mutilations.
The map is so big I must fly off to find any of my remaining targets. I can't beat the lead recruiter alone, since she drains my endurance. So then I have to find Curious again. Tedious. But the eventual battle was close and exciting.

Return message: "What is Emily planning, and what does she want to do with her cult?" In my mind, these two are the same question. She's definitely converting women with potential into mutant or magical firebugs.

Mission 3
Woah, Emily was TOUGH. My damage-per-second sucks too... but I won! With about 2% health and endurance left, and no inspirations. Very cool battle to stretch my tank like that. I wonder if some ATs would need an ally (but I think my tank is weak anyway).

Souvenir's title runs too long. You could put the arc # in the body of the souvenir text.

I guess my advice is just to make it a bit smoother and more consistent, it really does hold together fairly well despite being unconventional. I'd be glad to go through again once you update.

Cheers, airhead

Thanks Wrong Number! I'm really glad you enjoyed it so much.

I'd toyed with the idea of a loose association with the videos, since opinions of those were mixed, but as I am getting more plays from people who liked the videos, I think I should aim to be more like an interactive "fourth video", and let players make their own judgement as to whether to play or not.

I'll definitely add progress bars, and perhaps Clues, if I can come up with something funny enough to compensate for Clue Clutter

Thanks Lord Xenite! I'm glad it all tied together. I've tidied up some things you noted in game too, very much appreciated.

Thanks Dalghryn, I accept this arc (like most arcs) cannot suit everyone (hence "niche"), although I hope to keep that group as small as possible, and sufficiently inform players with my arc description so that I meet the needs of the players open to enjoying it. Seems to be working most of the time, which makes it all worthwhile

Cheers, airhead

Sometimes "Back" and "Front" can become switched, apparently, you might try reversing them. But I haven't seen that myself.

If you need more spawn points, Troll-style cave, try Unique->Caves(Unique)->Trolls. It appears you could have 3 of your bosses in the one room, the other(s) scattered about. Hope the 64 any detail, 35 boss, and 312 collectibles is enough

Regarding balancing the last AV, I found the generals' battles very balanced (and hard) as it was, which suited me fine. But I don't know how many people struggle before Lord Kumo. I like the previous reviewer's idea to use a different toon.

I guess you're looking for a potential hero/archvillain from the Praetorian dimension, who could be positioned as a defeated good-guy, and have his armor be requisitioned for Lord Kumo. Someone who is not already aligned with Tyrant, nor identified in the Perogan dimension. I presume Sir Recluse is a complete invention.

The suggestion of the other reviewer to use Romulus is interesting.
Or you could consider using Nemesis, or Nemesis Rex.
Or you could use Romulus, but call him Nemesis Rex...
Or keep it simple, and use Romulus, but call him Sir Recluse. Make him happy colors. There's two Roms to choose from in the Cimeroran Traitors group.

Matchstick Women, #3369, @Bubbawheat

Hi Bubbawheat, this is one of the hardest reviews I've had to do so far. I think you want a truly unique arc, based on your contact and your ending.

It wasn't until the final steps and the souvenir that I felt I understood the mood of this piece. I hope I'm right. I often felt confused. Sometimes it was mildly humorous, or clashing with canon (as opposed to "non-canon"), or even tedious on one map. But really, this is a spooky, fatalistic arc. With a pyrrhic catharsis to provide a heroic, yet sad, ending.

The style uses everyday events (such as a burning flame) with consistent physics that are emotional, not logical (the flame draws you into a mission) - reminds me of Japanese horror. Yet the exposition within the missions is fairly logical, or conventionally confusing, I wonder if it could be as metaphysical as the contact.

So what would I do to evolve this arc, assuming anything I've said so far is even close to the mark? Well, I made a lot of notes during play, and I'm trying now to rework those notes as suggestions leading to the result above. To be continued...

I'm getting on a plane shortly so I'll finish it off tomorrow. Here's hoping I'll turn out to be on the right track.