Arc Name: Web of Deception
Arc ID: 75310
Faction: Villainous
Level: 40+
Synopsis: Aid President Evil in creating a gateway to an alternate dimension.
It's not kicking kitties Evil, but it's more evil then it sounds.
Changed theme due to sudden inspiration. e.g. Creating a player character of my custom MA boss, who will mostly play time travel themed arcs. Player or canon.
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Changed theme due to sudden inspiration. e.g. Creating a player character of my custom MA boss, who will mostly play time travel themed arcs. Player or canon.
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Well I'd always love more feedback, I hope my arc fits your theme... there's only one mission where you travel through time (The second) originally there were going to be two instances of time travel and be 5 missions long but there was not enough room.
Don't want to spoil the arc for you, but yes there is a time machine and time travel that plays a theme throughout the first 3 parts of it, with actual time travel in part 2.
Anyway the Arc is 4 missions long.
Arc Name: The Praetorian Invasion of the Land of Oz
Arc ID: 168841
Faction: Praetorians/Custom Group
Morality:Heroic
Creator Global/Forum Name: @Sakura-Kishi
Difficulty Level: 3-4 out of 5 *each mission has at least one AV Mission 4 has 3. Missions 2 and 4 each have two Helper NPCs
9 missions up, still room for a short arc 1-3 missions this week. I hope to have reviews done before Fri.
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Patch Day: 50318
1 mission
It's Patch Day, and the servers are not Working As Intended! Not a defeat-all, but try to squash at least a *few* Bugs on the way to rescuing the hapless QA Troubleshooter, finding the Combat Log, and most of all stopping the Rollback!
Note: anything you might happen to see outside those parameters isn't required for mish complete ,-).
I'll be doing Digital Transition as well as your arcs, Bubba, it sounds interesting.
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This was a really fun mission. Played as a lvl 40 fire/fire Brute solo. There was great dialog all around, especially the patrols (or was it a battle?) with dialog every time I went up a floor that had a very funny back and forth. The descriptions on tpyo and some of the others were great, even at only one line mostly. The character designs were interesting and the power choices were pretty well balanced, although Mrrrow put a pretty mean hurt on me everytime I saw one. Rollback was also pretty difficult, but doable. There's a lot of good jokes here, although with the mood of the forums right now, I wasn't quite sure if you were going for satire or just parody. There is definately the opportunity for some biting satire if done right, though it wasn't clear which side you were for or against in that case. As just a parody it works, but you should keep in mind that some of the stuff in here could be taken a little too seriously by some people. I, however, am none of those people and I enjoyed it. Also, the allies were also a bit overpowered, taking out many of the minions before I could. It's a hard decision sometimes to have the overpowered allies to help take out the overpowered AV (even spawned as an EB), though in my opinion, it works just as well to have hostages and an average powered EB or Boss instead. Especially in a humor mission.
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though it wasn't clear which side you were for or against in that case.
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Then i succeeded 
Thanks for the review! I'll see about downtuning the allies somewhat, having them clear rooms was definitely not my intent.
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The Thief!
183264
Someone has stolen some odd substance from a warehouse, and its owner needs you to recover it. Take it back, and put a stop to whatever is going on! Small, but tough mission, cute little story. Bring inspirations! [SMFA FHMA]
1 mission, very small map.
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Played as a lvl 40 Fire/Fire Brute automalefactored to 25, solo. This was an interesting little mission. The contact is a self-insertion with... a few... to many... ellipses... as her style of speaking. I think it could be cleaned up a bit. She mentions that she's an archmage, and clarifies her definition of archmage extensively. She tells you that someone has stolen her substance from the shivan meteor.
Entering the mission the first thing I notice is a massive nav bar with all sorts of objectives cluttered together, and the dreaded one at the end: Defeat all enemies. One thing to point out, if you have that many objectives on a small map, you will practically defeat all the enemies anyway, so having a defeat all in addition to that is redundant. Or have some of the objectives "optional" since defeating all will defeat them anyway. The map is full of shivans, which were cake for my brute, and the boss was a robotics mastermind which I thought might be tough for me as she was on a raised platform that I had a little trouble maneuvering to, but I got her just as easily, and took out both ambushes together afterwards. The doctor's motivations for stealing the shivans and the nukes (destructable objects), were because Pluto got downgraded from a planet. She doesn't say what her plan is, so I assume it's something like: 1. steal shivans and nukes 2. ??? 3. Profit! Or, have Pluto become a planet again.
Overall, I enjoyed it for what it was, a simple little mission. With the warning, I expected it to be more difficult, but maybe I just picked the right powersets.
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I have two up so far, both listed in my sig. The first one is the stronger of the two but you are of course welcome to play them both. 
I've recently rejiggered the second one a tad and run them both through a spell checker, although I might still have the occasional typo. Both are currently sitting at 4 stars, so they shouldn't be too awful for you to take a look at - and a big thanks! if you do!
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went with 101165: Too many Bunnygirls! on my lvl 40 fire/fire Brute solo, on ruthless: challenge level 4. The contact is interesting as a filing cabinet full of files which you are going through yourself, so that makes it kind of a do-it-yourself style arc. The bunnygirls were nice designs, though I personally dislike fighting forcefields. There was only 1 type of minion, and 1 type of lieutenant (and possibly 1 boss which I never saw solo)? I would recommend adding at least one more different minion, and if you happen to have room, 3 minions and 2 lieutenants would be great. The storyline was pretty interesting, you start by freeing a bunch of hostages from the bunnygirls, most of which didn't want to be rescued. Then you check a warehouse for shipping records of a "bunnygirl ray" and to destroy the original prototype. Finally, you go to the Ripsy-X headquarters, which is the Rogue Island/Paragon City X-...something which I've forgotten now, a gossip rag, National Inquirer type paper, though the nickname reminds me of Ripsy from the first bad-girl's club. There you fight a bunch of overpowered photographers and writers of the gossip rag. Three of the bosses in this entire arc sent me to the hospital once. Rabbitual Criminal, Maggie von BunnyGirl, and Mios Agonyheart ;^_^), The photographer was also rather annoying with the confuse, but I barely eked through without dying... Don't even think I Rise of the Phoenix'ed on that fight either.
One other thing I noticed, which was purely coincidental, was some of the dialog seemed to cater to my character. "Guess I should have dodged when you burned." and " Burnt Matchstick in Bouncing Bunny Bacchanal" Also, Rabbitual Criminal makes a point to mention that we've met before, though we didn't meet earlier in the arc, and I've never fought him as a player before. It really doesn't contribute to the story that we had met before, and it threw me off at least. Maybe you should change it so that he has a known reputation, not that you've personally defeated him before.
Overall, this was a pretty entertaining arc. Good storyline, good designs, Boss difficulty could use some slight tweaking, maybe after i15 comes out, but I enjoyed it.
Thanks for playing "Too Many Bunnygirls!" and the feedback!
To address a couple of things you mentioned, the comment Rabbitual Criminal makes about having fought you before was part of "the joke" in his name, see? (I'm sure that strikes you as about as funny as a can of beans on a bus with a flat right now, any joke that needs explanation goes nowhere.)
And you played this on difficulty setting four?! When I'm feeling brave, I walk into the MA on 3 at most, and that's not very often, I usually stick with just 2. But I'm usually running my stalker or Corr - both squishie-class toons, not tanks. When i15 comes out I do intend to tweak some, so I'll revisit the boss' power sets.
I have considered adding in some more minion and leut. class versions of the bunnygirls but haven't had any strong ideas for alternate power sets and more importantly time to do so (and yes there is a boss level bunnygirl). Fortunately, I think the arc is only at 70% of possible space, so should be able to in the near future.
At first I was bothered by the fact that nothing published in MA ever seems quite "finished", always tweaking this, that, fixing some dialogue, etc. Now I'm realizing that with feedback like this, my missions are going to just keep getting better and better. Thanks again for you help in improvement!
(edited to ask a question Did the boss Watership Doom spawn bots? I gave her bots and the last couple of times I tested the arc she wasn't calling them in, just using her secondary - very annoying.
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Thanks for playing "Too Many Bunnygirls!" and the feedback!
To address a couple of things you mentioned, the comment Rabbitual Criminal makes about having fought you before was part of "the joke" in his name, see? (I'm sure that strikes you as about as funny as a can of beans on a bus with a flat right now, any joke that needs explanation goes nowhere.)
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Yeah, it's the difference between "Rabbitual" meaning having commited many crimes before, and meaning having been dealt with by the player many times before. Another possible choice would be to have him say something like "You've probably taken me down before? No? You're sure? I've been captured by tons of heroes."
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And you played this on difficulty setting four?! When I'm feeling brave, I walk into the MA on 3 at most, and that's not very often, I usually stick with just 2. But I'm usually running my stalker or Corr - both squishie-class toons, not tanks. When i15 comes out I do intend to tweak some, so I'll revisit the boss' power sets.
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3 and 4 are mostly the same, 4 just gives you more enemies. And I do tend to forget that when I complain about MA boss difficulty ;^_^ All of my previous reviews using the fire/fire brute have been on difficulty 4. My 50 MA/SR arcs are always on 3.
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...
(edited to ask a question Did the boss Watership Doom spawn bots? I gave her bots and the last couple of times I tested the arc she wasn't calling them in, just using her secondary - very annoying.
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Yep, I remember seeing bots. Though if you charge in quickly summons tend to get overlooked for other attacks from what I've heard.
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Played as a lvl 40 Fire/Fire Brute automalefactored to 25, solo. This was an interesting little mission. The contact is a self-insertion with... a few... to many... ellipses... as her style of speaking. I think it could be cleaned up a bit. She mentions that she's an archmage, and clarifies her definition of archmage extensively. She tells you that someone has stolen her substance from the shivan meteor.
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Self insertion parody 
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Entering the mission the first thing I notice is a massive nav bar with all sorts of objectives cluttered together, and the dreaded one at the end: Defeat all enemies. One thing to point out, if you have that many objectives on a small map, you will practically defeat all the enemies anyway, so having a defeat all in addition to that is redundant. Or have some of the objectives "optional" since defeating all will defeat them anyway. The map is full of shivans, which were cake for my brute, and the boss was a robotics mastermind which I thought might be tough for me as she was on a raised platform that I had a little trouble maneuvering to, but I got her just as easily, and took out both ambushes together afterwards. The doctor's motivations for stealing the shivans and the nukes (destructable objects), were because Pluto got downgraded from a planet. She doesn't say what her plan is, so I assume it's something like: 1. steal shivans and nukes 2. ??? 3. Profit! Or, have Pluto become a planet again.
Overall, I enjoyed it for what it was, a simple little mission. With the warning, I expected it to be more difficult, but maybe I just picked the right powersets.
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Sorry about the nav bar, but bleh, it's not like it's the end of the world, my actual real arcs get worse occasionally lol.
Yeah she's pissed and wants to threaten them into making it a planet again.
Figured that was clear
Dropped a couple of Mass Effect easter eggs.
And, yes, it used to be a lot harder actually.. I didn't wanna remove the warning, just in case.
I'm only ladylike when compared to my sister.
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Another possible choice would be to have him say something like "You've probably taken me down before? No? You're sure? I've been captured by tons of heroes."
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I'll give that some thought and see what I can come up with, I like the funny comments to be nice and short.
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Yep, I remember seeing bots. Though if you charge in quickly summons tend to get overlooked for other attacks from what I've heard.
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Ah, that might explain it, thanks for the info.
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Arc Name: Web of Deception
Arc ID: 75310
Faction: Villainous
Level: 40+
Synopsis: Aid President Evil in creating a gateway to an alternate dimension.
It's not kicking kitties Evil, but it's more evil then it sounds.
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Played as a lvl 40 fire/fire Brute at level 40 on Relentless, challenge level 4. Solo on the first two missions, then picked up a few teammates for the rest. The contact is President Evil, I'm not sure what he's a president of, but I'm guessing it's evil. For the first three missions, I'm the President's errand boy as I go looking for materials to create a portal to a mirror universe. I fight some Circle of Thorns Nemesis, and PPD Cops that keep showing up trying to arrest me, though I'm not exactly sure why they're after me and not the other villains whose lair I'm in. I'm also never sure why I'm helping President Evil, as it seems I have no connection with him or promise of reward or power at all. For the last spare part, I'm also going to be confronting Officer Showtime (might be remembering the officer title wrong, but he is working with the PPD) and he suggests having some allies. I don't remember if he was an Arch-Villain or an Elite Boss specifically, but he wasn't too hard for our team to take down. In the debriefing he lets it "slip" that Showtime is his son, and in the next mission's opening, he says "By now you realize that Showtime is my son." Yeah, I realized it when you just told me two seconds ago.
For the final mission, I'm being sent to Mirror Earth where Arachnos are the good guys and are called the Freedom Spiders. I'm vaguely warned that I might run into someone that used to be a friend. This friend turns out to be Celestial Widow, who was definately an Arch-Villain, but seemed extremely easy for our small group (4 members). In fact, the boss level Mu Guardian just above her was much more challenging, though I think I might have also left my support below which would definately contribute. I also didn't catch Sinister Showtime, who I'm guessing was a hostage, two other teammates also missed him, but one member said they saw him there.
Overall, this arc was fun to play through, though the story could definately use some work. I think you have a good outline, but you need to remember the player. One of the biggest complaints about normal villain content is that it feels like you are just a cog in their machine, and this arc falls into that same pitfall, among the worst offenders even.
Thanks for the review. I admit it is hard to come up with a real reason why a player's character should be helping a contact, at least with villains. The ambushes were added due to a previous suggestion someone gave me. I was having them drop Agent Showtime's name, to make him seem like a nuisance that the player would want to get rid of. More or less they were after the villains, but seeing as you already clobbered them and you're the only villain in sight they decide to arrest you instead.
As for Ghost Widow, I used the Elite Boss version of her but with the signature characters like say her or Statesman. It always seems to list them as a Hero/Archvillain in the MA regardless of whether that's what they really are.
What happened with Sinister Showtime is probably due to another bug that seems to have popped up. Rescuing a hostage gets completed even if you don't walk close enough for them to talk to you as long as you kill their guards and he seems to always spawn up in this little area in the wall in the last room. This is something I noticed happening in a few arcs I've been running that other people made.
But your review has convinced me that if one of my arcs is going to go, it'll probably be this one. My Taskforce has more plays then this and that basicly requires a decent sized team unless you've got a good solo build.
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Hi Bubbawheat,
if you have a chance, would love for you to check out my short:
The Legion of Mutants vs. The Iron Agents (200364). It's a single Mission. Here's the synopsis: "The Iron Agents, advanced cybernetic warriors developed by the Crey, have taken the Legion of Mutants hostage and are holding them at a high security prison facility. Break the mutants out of the Zig and they will help you fight the Iron Agents!
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Played as a lvl 45 TA/Psi defender solo on heroic: challenge level 1. I enjoyed this mission as a fun little one-off. You're sent by "The Shadowy Figure" to rescue the "Legion of Mutants" which are remeniscent of the X-Men in general concept only, though Brickhouse bears a tiny resemblance to Colossus, from the "Iron Agents" at the Zig. Simple enough mission briefing, although the Crey are mentioned, they really have no bearing to the plot whatsoever. In my opinion you could omit the Crey and just reference your "Iron Agents" custom group, or another possibility is to add some standard Crey mobs to your Iron Agents, though it could affect your level range. It's just a thought.
I enter the Zig breakout map and have three nav objectives. They could be combined if they are all rescues, though I soon find out that one: Iradium Vice, is not a rescue, but a destructible object. By its description, it nullifies the mutant's powers which allowed them to be captured. You should mention it in the opening briefing, and I think you want to go with "Irradium Device" possibly? The clue for the Iradium Vice mentions the three sewer pipes in the back of the map, which were more vaguely mentioned in the briefing. This is nice for those unfamiliar with this map. I remember the first time on the map taking forever to figure out that I had to go into the pipes at the end. I get to the cells and rescue the first mutant, and I now also have to rescue Brickhouse. I don't think he should have been a spawned objective, and you should add the plural nav text for them to say "Mutants to rescue" and the singular to be "Rescue the last mutant" or even put their name in the singular version. It's also nice on this map that the enemies tend to be outside the cells and the hostages spawn inside the cells, so if you don't want them to tag along, it's easy to avoid them after rescue.
With their help, the two bosses were pretty much cake. I liked all of your custom mob designs, although I only saw several minions and no lieutenants, I don't know if you have regular bosses since I was solo on heroic so they wouldn't have spawned. You should change a couple minions to lieutenants, and possibly add a few Crey mobs in the group if you want to for some added variety. Also your allies and bosses have descriptions, but your minions could use them as well. A team would cakewalk through a map full of minions. And this mission doesn't scream "farm" to me. So overall, I liked it. Simple but effective, and fun, though some changes would definately be welcome.
Thanks for the feedback Bubbawheat. I will definitely work in your suggestions:
- I think I will add some Crey mobs and dialogue to connect them to the story more.
- That's good feedback on the Iradium Vice. I'll make that part more clear.
- And I had been critiqued in the past for making the mission way too difficult, as I had placed many patrols in the mission so that the jail yard was crawling with Iron Agents. After being critiqued that it was way too difficult, I scaled it way back so the mission would be easier, even making the lieutenants minions because even as minions some of them are tough (the Ethereal Models, for instance, can really surprise you because they are stalkers, so when they were lieutenants, they were just way too tough...). But it sounds like I went too far in the other direction and I'll adjust it a bit back towards being more challenging again...
Glad you had fun with it - that's the thing I really wanted to accomplish.
If you get a chance, I did another mission that I think is also a lot of fun (and definitely more challenging) - "the Shadow Rune of the Warlocks." It's a magic themed mission about the Adamastor being captured by Warlocks who live in the underworld of Moth Cemetery, and tells some of the magical history of Moth. I'd be curious to see what you think.
Thanks again for the review, and I enjoyed your Matchstick Women Arc a lot!
Red Warlock
Red Warlock
- "The Shadow Rune of the Warlocks" (Arc ID 124319).
- "The Legion of Mutants vs. The Iron Agents" (Arc ID 200364).
- "The Children of Astoria" (Arc ID 217499)
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Thanks for the feedback Bubbawheat. I will definitely work in your suggestions:
.
- I think I will add some Crey mobs and dialogue to connect them to the story more.
.
- And I had been critiqued in the past for making the mission way too difficult, as I had placed many patrols in the mission so that the jail yard was crawling with Iron Agents. After being critiqued that it was way too difficult, I scaled it way back so the mission would be easier, even making the lieutenants minions because even as minions some of them are tough (the Ethereal Models, for instance, can really surprise you because they are stalkers, so when they were lieutenants, they were just way too tough...). But it sounds like I went too far in the other direction and I'll adjust it a bit back towards being more challenging again...
.
Red Warlock
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I agree that the stalker-like mob should remain a minion, but you can probably find another one that doesn't scale up too hard as a lieutenant. Also, if you are adding Crey, that will fill your lieutenant hole as well, so keep that in mind. I would suggest shooting for 3 custom minions and 2 custom lieutenants, or if you're adding Crey to mix with them, you can do 4 custom minions + any number of Crey and 1 custom lieut + any number of Crey. Good luck!
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Changed theme due to sudden inspiration. e.g. Creating a player character of my custom MA boss, who will mostly play time travel themed arcs. Player or canon.
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Well I'd always love more feedback, I hope my arc fits your theme... there's only one mission where you travel through time (The second) originally there were going to be two instances of time travel and be 5 missions long but there was not enough room.
Don't want to spoil the arc for you, but yes there is a time machine and time travel that plays a theme throughout the first 3 parts of it, with actual time travel in part 2.
Anyway the Arc is 4 missions long.
Arc Name: The Praetorian Invasion of the Land of Oz
Arc ID: 168841
Faction: Praetorians/Custom Group
Morality:Heroic
Creator Global/Forum Name: @Sakura-Kishi
Difficulty Level: 3-4 out of 5 *each mission has at least one AV Mission 4 has 3. Missions 2 and 4 each have two Helper NPCs
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Sorry it took so long, my other projects have been getting the better of me.
Played as a lvl 50 MA/SR scrapper solo on challenge level 3. Ozma of Oz is the contact, good looking character. First up, she warns you about Ojo and his companions mentioning something of a distraction, then you end up going to a building with a bunch of Dominatrix's minions. They have downloaded The Marvelous Land of Oz by L. Frank Baum and have captured a scientist. In the final room, I find Special Agent Gale, who shortly runs away to the nearby elevators, and Dominatrix.
When I get back to Ozma, I find that she is fading away, the Praetorians are messing with her timeline and I now need to go back and rescue her when she was hidden in the form of a young boy. This is an oranbegan map (not a terribly annoying one) with minions from the invasion army of Oz. The custom enemies are very well done with great costumes that fit perfectly in the Oz mythos, and they were not too challenging either. Though none of them (of the couple that I checked) had any custom descriptions, which might help on some of those not quite as familiar with the Land of Oz. I liked the look of the soldiers, but I didn't recognize the name of their group.
The third mission is essentially the same as the first, with Antimatter replacing Dominatrix as both AV and minions, and the fourth mission ends in a final cathedral room with two allies and three AV/EBs. They were far enough apart for me that I never had to fight two at once, and none of them ran, even Empress Gale. I joined up with Ozma first who helped me fight Empress Gale and Emperor Tin-something or other that I forget, but the Praetorian and male version of Ozma. Then I lost Ozma and soloed Tyrant and finally rescued Dorothy.
Overall, I thought it was a pretty good arc. I liked the writing, I enjoyed fighting the Praetorian enemies, which I haven't had a lot of experience with, I think I've only fought less than half of them so far, and hadn't seen Dominatrix or Antimatter's minions. The missions were pretty well layed out, although the third mission didn't seem necessary as an essential repeat of the first mission. It was late, and I probably missed out on a few things, but I enjoyed it!
Ready for some more arcs! This week-ish type thing:
humorous arcs. Give me some good, funny arcs. Bizarre, satire, parody, what have you. Or, if you have any arc that's a good fit for one of my characters of interest this week.
Current characters of interest:
Burnt Matchstick 40 fire/fire brute
Burnt Matchstick 12 fire/fire blaster
Wyndine 50 MA/SR scrapper
Tundra Spider 10 Wolf Spider
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Ready for some more arcs! This week-ish type thing:
humorous arcs. Give me some good, funny arcs. Bizarre, satire, parody, what have you. Or, if you have any arc that's a good fit for one of my characters of interest this week.
Current characters of interest:
Burnt Matchstick 40 fire/fire brute
Burnt Matchstick 12 fire/fire blaster
Wyndine 50 MA/SR scrapper
Tundra Spider 10 Wolf Spider
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For your L12 Blaster:
#189439
The Fireside Poet
L1-14
5 missions, but a fast run
Mostly Skulls with 1 custom Boss at the end
Thanks,
Arc Name: Chris Jenkins: Attorney at Law
Arc ID: 204942
Faction: Heroic
Difficulty: Levels 1-14 (Hellions)
Playtime: Short, 1 map
Synopsis: A gang of Hellions was seen moving into Chris Jenkins' law offices. You need to stop them in this humor-oriented mission. Intended for solo play.
Well, Dream Paper (1874) and Bricked Electronics (2180) are both supposed to be appropriate for 10-20 heroes, and I'd love some feedback from a blaster.
Up with the overworld! Up with exploration! | Want a review of your arc?
My arcs: Dream Paper (ID: 1874) | Bricked Electronics (ID: 2180) | The Bravuran Jobs (ID: 5073) | Backwards Day (ID: 329000) | Operation Fair Trade (ID: 391172)
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Ready for some more arcs! This week-ish type thing:
humorous arcs. Give me some good, funny arcs. Bizarre, satire, parody, what have you.
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I believe you've already run through Celebrity Kidnapping, which has some parody elements in it. Don't let me stop you from doing it again though.
Teen Phalanx Forever! has a lot of jokes and pop culture in it, which has gotten people to label it a comedy (though my original concept was "teen melodrama"). It would be a good match for your 12 blaster, but also works quite well for a 50 who exemps down.
@PW - Police Woman (50 AR/dev blaster on Liberty)
TALOS - PW war journal - alternate contact tree using MA story arcs
=VICE= "Give me Liberty, or give me debt!"
Here's a parody of the daytime TV talk show world:
Daytime Divas #94504
Heroic, solo-friendly
@Armory1
I've been reviewing short arcs for a while now in exchange for feedback on my arcs. Well, I'm pretty happy with my two story focused arcs right now and I'm almost caught up with my queue which is slowing down. So I thought I'd try something a little different to mix things up. Well, not really mixing things up as putting a different spin on it, kind of like "Pay as you exit!"
This is no longer active for submissions as I am going off on my own looking for arcs that interest me and reviewing them on their own threads, or in this thread if they don't have one of their own. This first post will also be updated with any new reviews that I post, wherever they may be.
First, a recap of my reviews from my Short Arcs thread:
Next, a recap of reviews from this thread:
And now for my current reviews hopping to other's threads: