Seeking Critique for "Defying Fate"-- Arc #110866

I'd like some constructive criticism on my new arc, Defying Fate. It's Arc ID 110866. Any and all help is appreciated; thank you in advance!

It's a soloable, lowbie-friendly, story-focused sci-fi mission arc, and it's going to have a sequel if I can ever overcome my writer's block.

The first map acting very strange - I rubberbanded constantly until I clicked the glowie - then everything was fine - I didn't rubberband again.... Not sure why the first mish needed to be a kill all from a story perspective - but it's a small map - so no big deal.

Second mish was fine. Mobs acted weird - tended to run as soon as damaged, but unless you set mob AI to annoying coward, I think you're off the hook for that.

Third Mish, well we have a problem. The ally is way too powerful. She cleared the board. I didn't do anything - I didn't have to. Sort of raises the question - why does she need my help anyways?

Thought the story was fine, aside from the piece mentioned above. Mish definitely solo friendly.

Every now and then I encounter an arc so weird that it really works for me. My mood, sense of humour, or something else, I don't know. A great example was Superadine Withdrawal Blues. I took a junior toon on that neutral arc, visiting the hospital at least eight times. Just trying to help a confused, detoxing troll who was several times my size. But it made sense somehow, and was lots of fun. This was one of those arcs. I decided to try it because it's short.

The good guys and bad guys all work for a company called Hydra, no relation to Hydra from City of Heroes, nor to Hydra, from comic books (I assume). But the writing is so comprehensive, I quickly move along. The contact has made a kind of discovery - okay, she has the power of God to create life from not very much. Not just any life, but humanoids, with knowledge, and superpowers. So the contact simply wants me to check this won't be put to sinister use. She figures there'll be a computer still working in an abandoned Hydra warehouse that "could uncover Hydra's latest and most confidential data with ease." The contact better be right about this company. Or at least, be right to assume I can be trusted!

The nav title and the objectives have a lot of overlap, you could shorten the nav title. Like the reviewer above, I wondered about the defeat-all, and it didn't take long. On my return, the contact was glad I "disposed" of the Council. Poor sods.

As mission 2 starts, enough Sci Fi, we're switching to Fantasy. The villain has a master plan to create a bio-engineered army, but more importantly, he's going to garner some superpowers from a demon. He's what? What happened to the laboratory plot? Oh, they'll be the requisite human sacrifices.

The mission again has loads of duplicate info in the nav title and objectives. The nav title could be, "Stop the Ritual" or something.

So I go through and rescue folks, beat folks up. Cleo calls me, "you in the tights", luckily I changed into tights yesterday. It's an unusual name for a man, to be sure, but hey, I'm wearing tights! The big bad, an infallible predictor of the future, failed to predict my victory, apparently because it happpened in the present. Yay for fuzzy logic!

Despite my success, I failed! It's not entirely clear how that happened, but Suoitigalf (oh, such a shameful thing!) succeeded in gaining his superpowers from the demon, which will somehow enhance his plot to take over the world with a bioengineered superpowered army. Perhaps a Clue would help here, but I suspect being Clueless is intentional.
Mission 2 return: sieze -> seize

So now we're going to defeat Suoitigalf, before his bioroid army is let loose! That's a good idea. Saves Paragon, cuts down on the number of custom critters, avoids getting too much like Sci-Fi...

Again, mission nav repeats the mission objectives. The final mission is admittedly, in a lab, with scientists (customs, or posessed ones at high levels - nice!). The low level ones also wear the cool squiddie Hydra lab costumes.

Tomoko's description could be different here, since the plot has advanced since that earlier description. Would befit her change of outfit.

Scientist says, "I don't like hitting girls, but I've got no problem with beating up a meddling Defender." I'm a girl and a defender... nice, confuddling guess. Is the girl Tomoko, or me? With him lying on the floor now, we may never know. At low level I get taken out twice by the scientists, the unfortunate power of custom critters.

Eventually, Tomoko and I take out the labcoat-and-magical-robe-wearing villain.

But who would have thought, the odd and almost random collection of plot elements could actually be a deliberate ploy to make me think? I just didn't get it until the end. When the final return message mentions the cave (in mission 2) was under Ouroboros. Ouro floats...

Heh. Ingenious. 5-stars.

Arc: 379017: Outbroken See all your old friends in the Outbreak Tutorial sequel!
Arc: Coming Soon: The Incarnate Shadow Shard of Fire and Ice Mender Rednem needs you!
Massively.com opinion poll: Please Help Save CoH!

Thank you very much for the critiques. I'll be sure to make the suggested changes. =)

Edit:
[ QUOTE ]
Third Mish, well we have a problem. The ally is way too powerful. She cleared the board. I didn't do anything - I didn't have to. Sort of raises the question - why does she need my help anyways?

[/ QUOTE ]
Well, I wanted to make her strong so that even the lowest level character or weakest of classes could make it through the last mish. Also, if I made her too weak and she died, that may cause a few problems with the plot. Still, I'll heed your advice and make her a bit less strong.

Thanks again for your feedback-- any other people who feel inclined to help me in my quest to improve my arc are welcome to do so. Thanks in advance!