A Letter FROM Santa Claus

To: Developers of City of Heroes/Villains; Going Rogue
From: Santa Claus
Re: The Naughty/Nice List

I write this in the hopes that your Holiday Season thus far has been a jolly one. I say "thus far" because it is my clear intention to give each of you a fat lump of coal in your stockings upon my visit later tonight.

Please rest assured that I have not arrived at this course of action lightly.

I am sure that when you introduced Going Rogue and the concept of "side-switching" you were excited at the prospect of giving your players a more exciting and fulfilling way to play their characters. My elves have done research to conclude that, in this facet, you were very successful. However, you have made my life a logistical nightmare and, dare I say, a living hell.

Before you began fiddling with the natural order of things I had it easy. Heroes went on the nice list and Villains were stuck on the naughty. Things have changed, thanks to you. Where exactly am I supposed to put Rogues and Vigilantes? There is no "Sorta Nice" list nor is there a "Used to be Naughty but is 50% towards Rogue which would mean he's actually 25% of the way to Nice" list!!

And if that's not bad enough, you've made the process for changing which side you're on so fast that someone can be on the Nice list today and Naughty within a WEEK! The song doesn't even work anymore! "He's making a list... and checking it sixty-five times! The meter's all wrong and it no longer rhymes!'

Oh wait... maybe it does...

But I digress...

To compound the problems you've caused; you've began allowing alternate reality heroes and villains into my territory! Now, I'm all for sharing... it's one of the tenets of my credo. But come ON! First there's the logistical issues of trying to get Naughty/Nice information from an off-world source in the first place. Sure, I can see you when you're sleeping and no when you're awake here on Earth Prime... but do you know the expense of setting up a surveillance network from scratch on a whole different planet?!

Okay fine, so I flush my profit margin down the toilet for a few seasons, I can recover, but then I got a good look at this Praetorian world. Not a single... NOT ONE... black or white issue in the WHOLE FREAKING WORLD! EVERYTHING is a shade of gray!! Good grief it's a politician's wet dream! Every person coming to my territory from Praetoria is so firmly entrenched directly between Naughty and Nice that I've had to enact a policy stating they get NO presents at all until they've spent at least six months in Earth Prime so I can get a read on them.

So, enjoy your coal. Maybe you can burn it for a little heat this winter or just chuck it at that Baby New Year thing for a laugh. You can also expect a bill for my therapy costs sometime in early February.

Ho-Ho-Freakin'-Ho,

Santa


P.S. Expect a letter from Frosty's attorney sometime in the near future as well regarding his Defamation of Character suit.

Santa needs to get up to speed with the times. The Gamester has already automated the process and even had time to stop by Praetoria. His partner the Candy Keeper keeps tabs on the spending habits of both dimensions and he knows who deserves gifts based on the effort they put forth.

I don't think Santa's concerned with the increased workload, frankly, but rather he's a bit uptight about someone else stepping in on his line of business. Break your back for milk and cookies while a pair of dorks goes around setting up recycleable presents all over the world just to have people bring the goods to them, and you'd probably be a bit grumpy too.

This... This...

This just made my holiday!
Beautiful work there Steelclaw! Beautiful work!

Thank you for the time...

@Travlr (Main) / @Tymers Realm (Test)

You better watch out... you better not cry....

you better not pout, I'm telling you why...

Santa Claus is coming...

to town.... MUA-HAHAHAHA

As usual, Awesomeness on a stick.

Boy am I'm tired.