Internet Drama and You (A guide for RPers and Non-RPers alike)
By
Ashcraft,
Posted on: 2010-11-23 21:13 in CoH and CoV General Discussions
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Doesn't make them any less like ******** though. Lots of people find lots of things fun that I really can't wrap my head around. I don't go off on them just because I can.
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Originally Posted by Captain-Electric
Some people can't embrace attachments to stuff they can't smell or throw a beer can at. It doesn't mean they're rotten people. They're not always JUST getting their ya-yas off by poking your emotional investments with a stick. Some of these folks are genuinely frustrated that you can do something with your imagination that they can't with theirs-- so, best for them to believe there's something wrong with you.
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@True Metal
Co-leader of Callous Crew SG. Based on Union server.
There is nothing inherently wrong with the "it's just a game attitude." Different people have different priorities on what they get emotionally invested in. Neither side is wrong.
The problem comes when one side expects the other to think of it the same as they do. For example if I were to join a Master of TF, I can honestly say it wouldn't bother me much(if at all) if we were to fail. Those badges don't mean anything to me. But if I'm going to join, I need to respect the fact that my teammates probably don't feel the same way I do and I need to act accordingly. Meaning I shouldn't run off by myself to try and solo Ghost Widow or Lord Recluse. Attempting that is just disrespectful of what the other players want.
If I'm in a mood that I honestly don't give a damn what my potential teammates want or think(which happens at times), then I don't need to join a team. It's that simple.
In general, I think most conflicts come from arrogance and lack of respect. Arrogance from both camps thinking the other is less than them or somehow wrong for feeling how they do. And not respecting those differences enough to either leave them alone, or give in a little when you do interact with them.
Just like with friends, family, and co-workers, compromise is important. Too many people are too stubborn. Overall I think people, on both sides, need to relax and not get so pissy about stuff. Sure, Random Poster/Player A was a jerk to you, but is he really worth so much anger? Personally I do my best to not let Random Person A(online and RL) get to me. Because that isn't in my best interest. Now I don't always succeed, but that is my goal.
The only people I want to be able to get to me like that are people that are truly important to me. That could be someone I met online(I have a couple of those), or it could be somebody I know personally.
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Two things about that. |
Originally Posted by Samuel_Tow
The kinds of people who rely on anonymity and are transient in communities where they cause problems are not, at their root, members or founders of said communities. Because for those of us who end up belonging to a specific community (by choice or otherwise), anonymity is not an option. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I know for a fact that people here know me. I know for a fact that if I make an *** of myself, people will remember it. I know for a fact that the next time I show my face here, people will still remember that. As a point of fact, I am not anonymous here.
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1. Very very early in my posting history I remember making a rather rude comment to you about something(don't remember specifics), and you sent me a PM that said pretty much that(it was blunt but polite). And it stuck with me because you are right. Though I'm not always the nicest poster, that PM has stuck with me and it very often pops into my mind before I make a questionable post. So thanks, because it has helped me!
2. What you said is exactly how I feel about my involvement in Unleashed.
I think his point about looking at a picture of a starving child to remind yourself of what real trauma looks like before getting all upset about things is well taken. It wouldn't hurt a lot of us to have a picture like that in mind once and awhile.
It's actually connected to Thanksgiving. Remembering to give thanks for things now and again is a good way to deal with life's little frustrations and disappointments. It's a mindset I wish I could remember to connect with more often.
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Perspective is never a bad idea. FORCED perspective, however, is insulting. The quickest way to make someone who's already pissed of out-and-out blow his top is to tell him "your anger is meaningless and you have no right to be angry." Trust me, no matter your intention, this inspires a man to want to punch another man. Literally. There are ways to calm people down. "You're stupid for getting angry," which is what the starving children picture basically does, ain't one of them.|
Originally Posted by Camper
I think his point about looking at a picture of a starving child to remind yourself of what real trauma looks like before getting all upset about things is well taken. It wouldn't hurt a lot of us to have a picture like that in mind once and awhile.
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Here's the thing - yes, it's true that we can be worse off. I could be DEAD. I've had a gas stove explode in my face with enough force to blow a door off its hinges. But here's the thing - all this serves to do is stifle people's enthusiasm. Some of the greatest achievements of people, both practical and artistic, have been born of a person's enthusiasm to build, create and express. They have been born out of a person taking his pretendy-fun dreams and caring enough about them to make them a reality.
I write stories in my free time. Whether good or bad is not for me to decide, but this is what I do. I care about these stories, I love them to bits, I enjoy their plotlines and intricacies, and with every new one, I want to make it bigger, better and more exciting than before. This is what gives me my enthusiasm. If, however, I were constantly being nagged about the starving children in Indonesia or Africa or wherever and beaten over the head that THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT, then I would stop caring about my stories. And when I stop caring about the stories, what I end up writing is garbage. And I don't want to write garbage.
All I'm saying here is, yes, perspective is important. But what I think is even more important is to let people have their fantasies without constantly reminding them they are fake and unimportant.
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Originally Posted by Arcanaville
Samuel_Tow is the only poster that makes me want to punch him in the head more often when I'm agreeing with him than when I'm disagreeing with him.
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I see the internet as the closest thing we have to a telepathic network, billions of people with their thoughts and feelings and only a flimsy barrier to separate them (The screen and keyboard).|
Originally Posted by Samuel_Tow
The "Internet" may not be real, but it is still as real as television, radio or the telephone. It doesn't have to be "real" in any sense of the word, because it does nothing more than provide an environment for real people with real feelings and real emotions to interact. And as long as real people interact with each other, the interaction is "real enough," and as such shouldn't be dismissed as no big deal.
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That means that a lot of the output you see is raw, emotional ore. Rough, unrefined, jagged.
The combined mix of 'everyone on the internet are ***** due to being anonymous' and 'it's only pretend, it's not real, it's just online' creates a bit of a toxic, perpetuating mix.
A: Everyone does it, so it doesn't matter
B: Even if it did, it's not real after all, so it still doesn't matter
We've not had the internet for long, compared to other forms of communication. So it'll take a while for people to learn what is and isn't acceptable. But that relies on teaching by example and on teaching children.
Children are after all incredibly cruel, vindictive creatures in real life, so you can imagine how as the age barrier for accessing the internet lowers, the potential for malicious actions of them is there unless taught properly.
Internet Citizenship, how's that for a class?
LOL. Nice article. Seems familiar though.
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The "Internet" may not be real, but it is still as real as television, radio or the telephone. It doesn't have to be "real" in any sense of the word, because it does nothing more than provide an environment for real people with real feelings and real emotions to interact. And as long as real people interact with each other, the interaction is "real enough," and as such shouldn't be dismissed as no big deal.
@True Metal
Co-leader of Callous Crew SG. Based on Union server.