Issue 17 Badges...

By now we all know that Issue 17 is going to bring in a slew of shiny new exploration badges to nearly every zone. Here are a few guesses as to what we might be able to expect.

Atlas Park: Unemployed (located at Bus Stop) "Al Gerwoski had a very important job interview he needed to get to on time. His car was in the shop so he relied on Paragon City's sterling public transportation system."

Galaxy City: Reason for Being (anywhere really) "Ah, the exploration badge... the only real reason you guys come to this part of the city anymore."

Mercy Island: The Money Pit (near Doctor Creed) "This building is owned by Martin Maxwell, who thought a five star hotel was just what this area needed. After the third time all new construction got destroyed even Wretch was laughing at him."

Kings Row: Puzzling Perch (on lap of statue just outside train station) "Normal statuary or something sinister? No one is quite sure why only female heroes sitting on his lap for pictures complain about the uncomfortable lump."

Port Oakes: Twilight Zone (Door farthest from Mikey the Ear in building he stands by) "Hey, wait a second here... didn't I get that SAME door last mission? It was an office building then... and now it's a freakin' Casino? Do..do..dooo-do... do..do...dooo-do..."

Perez Park: Redundant (anywhere) "Like there weren't enough badges in this zone in the first place? Too many more and there will be a percentage chance to trip and fall over one when moving faster than Walk."

The Hollows: Fore Warned (in front of Foreshadow) "He knew you were coming, so he put this here for you."

Steel Canyon: Fire Break (random location within blast range of burning building) "Congratulations on finding this badge... NOW RUN!!"

Skyway City: GPS Recalculating (near Synapse) "Synapse does not stand here from any sense of duty; he's a super-speeder and he can't figure out which of the multitude of on-ramps and roads he's supposed to take to get home."

Boomtown: Unique Fixer Upper Opportunity (anywhere) "Great real estate opportunity... some structural damage... perfect for the amateur handyman... all sales FINAL..."

Cap Au Diable: Neener Neener Neener (On top of globe) "Sure we don't have some big dork holding it... but OUR globe spins! Beat THAT ball-boy!"

Bloody Bay: Green Jello (close beside one of the meteors) "We figured we'd just put it here since the only reason you're here is for the Shivan Shard anyway."

Talos Island: We Quit! (on top of the hill in view of train depot) "After so many Rikti invasions and Zombie Apocalypse battles the Talos Island landscaping commission quit en masse rather than try to get grass to grow here."

Striga Isle: Super Scooper (cemetary in Council controlled area) "Once Archon Fitzhugh realized that 60% of his work force were on 'clean up' duty; he issued an order that all War Wolves must now wear 'Oopsie Puppy' canine pants."

Dark Astoria: Devs Hate Blasters (anywhere) "Bet you wish you hadn't wasted that slot on your Sniper attack, huh chump?"

Sharkhead Isle: Freak Construction Co. (in Freakshow shanty-town) "Sure they can turn a man into a cyborg death machine... but they can't build a house worth a s**t!"

OR

Sharkhead Isle: Got Your Freak On (in Freakshow shanty-town) "Because... yes... You danced with a Freakshow."

Independence Port: Unexplored Territory (extreme south-west corner) "This badge has been brought to you by the Independence Port tourism council."

Terra Volta: Corporate Conundrum (near powerstation) "Wait a second... this power plant still provides electricity to the city... but it looks like a demilitarized zone.. where do the workers come from? Is this place owned by Willy Wonka?"

Nerva Archipelago: Hero Zone (anywhere on southern islands) "With those white and red uniforms everywhere you look are you sure this isn't the Rouge Isles?"

Siren's Call: Quicker Picker Upper (anywhere) "Quicker Picker Upper... because you're here to get your 'Bounty'... get it? Huh? umm... yeah... sorry."

Brickstown: Short Timer (near Zigg) "The Warden recently changed his 'Open Door' policy to a 'Revolving Door' policy."

Crey's Folly: Diver Down (somewhere under water) "You risked the toxic sludge and low acid content of the waters of Crey's Folly to get this badge. It's that kind of Gotta-Get-'Em-All mentality that made Pokemon so popular."

St Martial: Religious Experience (in the Carnival's tent area) "St Martial is a Family Entertainment mecha! The wives come for a little gambling. The husbands flock to these tents. Strangely enough, none of the wives seem to complain that much when their hubbies don't come back."

Warburg: Oh! Burrrrn! (near rocket) "Synapse stood here and quipped that he loved to 'get his nuke off.' Sister Psyche responded 'yeah, but here the process takes more than four seconds.'"

Croatoa: Putting the B in Witch (beside War Witch) "It was here that Synapse jokingly offered to 'recreate the pottery scene from Ghost'... It was also here that War Witch offered to 'recreate the head-spinning scene from the Exorcist'..."

Founders Falls: Oh-Oh (near Agent Six) "Despite multiple requests the Agency has refused her requests to change her designation to 'Double-Oh Six'. The Agency, however, hasn't refused her nearly as often as Agent Nine."

Eden: Nothin' But Love (deep under the canopy) "You thought the Devs loved badgers because they added so many in Issue 17... then you tried to negotiate the maze to find THIS one!"

Peregrine Island: Rouge Isle (next to Crimson) "I guess the fact that they put him on an island with no boat pretty much tells you how much Crimson is loved, huh?"

Grandville: World Wide Web (in the webs high above the city) "Because the Dev's hate Super Speeders... that's why."

Recluse's Victory: Dumpleberry Memorial (under ruins of Atlas Statue) "Apparently Lord Recluse really hates costume contests, too."

Ouroboros: Can't Get There From Here (on floating island furthest from temple) "This badge has been brought to you by the Raptor Pack! Another fine Wonco Industries product!"

Cimerora: Fraternity Hazing (somewhere in the town) "Here is where the hero Captain Frat-Boy stood for ten hours straight chanting 'toga-toga-toga'. Eventually, in a surprising show of unity, the two opposing armies joined forces to eliminate him."

Shadow Shard: Surreal Estate (anywhere) "While most real estate agents gave up immediately upon seeing this new dimension, Harvey Wallbanger saw opportunity. The new 'Salvador Dali Memorial Artists' Retreat' is due to begin construction soon."

Good list!

Oh man, I love a lot of these! They'd work as real badges, too.

Sharkhead Isle: Freak Construction Co. (in Freakshow shanty-town) "Sure they can turn a man into a cyborg death machine... but they can't build a house worth a s**t!"

Love it, good call, Steel!

Croatoa: Let it snow... (on top of the far red-caps hill.) "This would be the best sledding hill ever... if only it would snow."

Perez Park: Squish (In the middle of the hydra lake) "You just stepped in something and you really don't want to look down."

RWZ: Inoperable (On the exam table near the morgue) "He came in requesting a face-lift. The doctor wasn't sure where to lift it to."

Shadow Shard: Colorblind (Way out on one of the far islands) "You've been here way too long, even your hands are starting to look orange."

Dark Astoria: Mood Music (Between the taller buildings and the graveyard) "Some jokester thinks it's funny to play the theme song from the Twilight Zone out into the fog of Dark Astoria. There are some days you wish you were a villain."

Croatoa: Turf War (just behind the tram, in the middle of the corn fields) "This was planned to be the site of Architect Entertainment's Croatoa building, but the locals said that there was enough farming in Croatoa as it was."



Michelle
aka
Samuraiko/Dark_Respite

You make that pun and call him "bad"? Tsk.

LEGION OF VALOR - Be a part of the Legend!

In among the Redcaps in Croatoa: Humorless: Here a tall hero breathed his last after making one too many short jokes.


In front of the Atlas globe: Pulp: You are standing on the exact spot where Atlas's globe would strike if the statue was ever replaced by a rampaging giant Nemesis automaton. But that couldn't possibly happen. Right?


Near Jack's throne in Croatoa: Overhung: At this spot, the dainty heroine Angelflare was the first to look up and discover that Jack wears no underpants. Therapy is continuing.