A Thank You Letter to the NPCs...

Inspired by a Super Leaping crisis barely averted. See point #3.

Dear Randy,

I know your name isn't Randy today. Today it is Julius. Tomorrow, Pauline. Yesterday, Ben. Your name is different each time I see you, but it isn't your fault, and I bear you no grudge. Instead, I name you Randy, as in "Random NPC".

Anyway, Randy, you do so much for me in my time spent utilizing my super powers. I never take the time to actually show my gratitude. Always too busy keeping my ear to the ground for a chance to change the city in the only way I know how.

But my therapist says that I would be less bitter if I showed appreciation for the people around me. If I wrote out a nice, long list that demonstrated just what you mean to me. So here it is, Randy: A list of all the things you've done for me that deserve my thanks.

• Always carrying your money in a purse. It makes it easier for heroes to spot the criminals, and the criminals to draw the attention of heroes. Keeps things exciting on both ends.
  
• Shouting my latest accomplishments outloud when I'm with a team. That way, they always know I'm Top Dog.
  
• Hiring contractors to make sure every floor of every building is just jutted enough that my super leaping has a launch point, but not so jutted that it looks bad... or even so that one can be fully aware it exists.
  
• While we're on the subject of construction... thank you for making sure that every section of my city's buildings have a unifying structural theme. You aren't like other cities that updating building individually, thus having an anachronistic and honest appeal. No sir/ma'am, every building for each neighborhood was built at the same time with the same fashion sense. [b]That's[/lb] efficiency.
  
• Closing me off to temptation by never posting the hours for your restaurants. A person with my ambition has to stay trim. No time for food!
  
• Walking. Gads, walking. You remind me to stop and smell the roses. While that lesson would be more beautiful if I could physically walk, smell, or find any roses, it's still nice to know that someone out there gets it.
  
• Being named Wang sometimes.
  
• Keeping a cool head. Seriously, one time, during an adventure that took me to a bank, I saw a certain someone throw fire at you. You lit up like a horny match stick, yet still managed to stay exactly as panicked as the other Randys.
  
• Come to think of it, the answer might be more simple. In that case, thanks for having the foresight to wear asbestos to the bank.
  
• Thanks for having the common sense to stay away from places of super powered transaction. It would be annoying constantly being told how long I've been on patrol while I'm trying to purchase the human blood sample that will permanently increase my ability to mockingly berate someone... somehow.
  
• Also, for never asking me how enhancements work during interviews.
  
• Never going home. The fact that you're willing to walk circles all day, 24/7, just in the event that I need to know the official time in our city... well, that just deserves an IHOP gift card (enclosed).
  
• Being able to withstand more punishment than me. You give me something to which to aspire.
  
• Sometimes walking through the air in Paragon's City Hall. Though I've never seen it myself, I heartell it's worth the price of admission.
  
• And last, but not least... holding onto all of Azuria's stuff for her.
  

I've encouraged some other Supers to write you letters saying why they appreciate you. In due time, I hope you'll hear from them as well. Just know that you're cool, and I'd be glad to split the pancake with you.

Sincerely,

A. Snodgrass

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I'd like to thank the NPCs for keeping Paragon City's office workers fit. Where other cities have buildings containing elevators that allow you to go from Floor 1 to Floor 5 just by pressing a button, the brilliant architects of Paragon City have made it so you must physically travel across every floor of the building to reach your uppermost destinations.

Speaking of architects, let's hear it for the brave men and women who built an AE building in a war zone while under constant heavy fire from aliens.

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-I would like to thank the citizens of the Etoile Isles for faithfully following me when I am kidnapping them. You don't know how many problems we avoid by not having to knock you unconscious, especially citizens such as yourselves that are immune to any form of damage.

-I would like to thank you for not tattle telling Longbow of my whereabouts. Despite your ability to know everything that I've done, no matter how secluded, recent, and far away it happened from you, you know how to keep a secret.

-Words cannot describe my gratitude for not making an impenetrable wall when I rob your banks. You show me time and time again that you can push me with the most minimal of force when you scatter when I arrive, but yet, never stand in my way to block me.

-Again with the secrecy, not sharing your know-how on being invulnerable to harm with Longbow, Wyvern, the Legacy Chain, Vindicators, or Freedom Phalanx.

I thank you, from the very bottom of my rotten heart.

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Thank-you citizens for the wave. You know the one. The right hand that goes up momentarily like you're taking an oath to tell the whole truth and then the arm goes back down as you casually walk by. It's amazing that you all do it exactly the same. It's like you go to "Super Hero Waving Practice" classes or something. And you do it all. the. time.

Thanks.

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Speeding Through New DA Repeatables || Spreadsheet o' Enhancements || Zombie Skins: better skins for these forums || Guide to Guides

I'd like to personally thank the NPCs for always keeping in shape. Everytime I see you run past me in hordes-or even waves-of people I know you're staying in shape. Such precision and endurance to be able to run in an organized crowd with flailing arms is truly a sight to behold. The way you flail your arms is almost astounding as the speed at which you sprint, amazing.

And every time I walk down the street dressed in my evil overcoat, you know immediately that it's time for your daily routine.

Keep up the good work!

-Department of Investigatory Health and Journalism in Paragon City.

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Oh how could I have forgotten, I'd like to also thank them for extending their intelligence gathering resources past just keeping track of me. I don't know what I would do without you being able to tell how many other masks are in our section of the isles. It helps to know what your competition is going to be like.

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Dear NPCs,

You guys suck. Thanks for nothing.

Sincerely,
-Blood Spectre

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Paragon Unleashed, Unleash Yourself!

Dear Npcs,

I would like to thank you for your unending compliments to my costume.

I would also like to express my gratitude for the fact that once I set you free from your captive, you more often then not are able to deal with aimlessly running around the building while suddenly invisible to your remaining captives.

I particularly would like to express thanks to Fusionette for proving that "dumb" is not a term limited to blondes.

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Triumph Lurker: mintmiki 50 emp/archer
basically, if you see a miki on Triumph, it's probably cute and it's probably me.

Huge thanks to cuppamanga and all the folks in the mac help forum for prolonging my borrowed time on this game.

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They all laughed at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian.
But I showed them, and nobody's laughing at me now!

If I became a red name, I would be all "and what would you mere mortals like to entertain me with today, mu hu ha ha ha!" ~Arcanaville