Nice work, Ellen! Reads well, didn't notice any typos or grammar mistakes, and a really great bit of character development for Hannah.
And it's all cute and mushy! 
Awwww. Cute. *drowns in fluff*
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
All I can say is excellent work! I enjoyed every sentence of it! ^_^
Tigergirl/Yoko Hatori - Full time hero
Kiyarii Kade - Model and part time hero
Mileena Lim - Alien Demon Bat Sorceress or rather Hotel property owner
Starborn/Klair Elwin - Full time hero and Journalist
so sugary sweet i might go into anaphilactic shock!
great though!
Verily cool!
Brilliant piece of work Z! Really loved it! 
@FloatingFatMan
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Well I didn't read it last night as planned, but it's given me a chance to delay work a bit longer! Well worth it. 
<-- Inago seal of approval
I liked it, Z. Brought tears to my eyes, so well written.
Just one thing...
I thought Zorielle was Hannah's biological mother, and that Hannah wasn't too fond of Tessa. Could have been old fiction, so Hannah could have reconsiled and accepted Tessa as a mother, but...
Could you clear this up a bit for poor confused little ol' me?
@ShadowGhost & @Ghostie
The Grav Mistress, Mistress of Gravity
If you have nothing useful to say, you have two choices: Say something useless or stay quiet.
Ah. What you were reading was the AU setting I was writing and posted a bit of... and never finished. In the current setting, Hannah is Tessa's niece and was adopted by Zorielle last March.
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Brought tears to my eyes, so well written.
[/ QUOTE ] Thanks, and I was crying while writing it. x-x
*hands out tissues*
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Ah. What you were reading was the AU setting I was writing and posted a bit of... and never finished. In the current setting, Hannah is Tessa's niece and was adopted by Zorielle last March.
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Um, that would be Tessa-1's niece, since the Tessa everyone knows is Tessa-2, from the same universe as Haywire, where Alan Drek (Drake) created the Freakshow. This Hannah is technically totally unrelated to this Tessa.
Great story, but I'm going to pick holes in your composition just to be a meanie. Try scanning the story and looking at the first word in each paragraph, especially near the start. Most of them are 'Hannah'.
Disclaimer: The above may be humerous, or at least may be an attempt at humour. Try reading it that way.
Posts are OOC unless noted to be IC, or in an IC thread.
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Great story, but I'm going to pick holes in your composition just to be a meanie. Try scanning the story and looking at the first word in each paragraph, especially near the start. Most of them are 'Hannah'.
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Want the lie reason or the truth reason?
Lie Reason: Hannah's thinking about Hannah, so Hannah comes up a lot at the start of paragraphs.
Truth reason: It took me two hours to put one word down, and an hour or so after that to write the story, I wanted to get it posted quickly so I didn't A: Go into a cycle of editing to which the story would never return or B: Have the story delayed and put things out of whack.
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Um, that would be Tessa-1's niece, since the Tessa everyone knows is Tessa-2, from the same universe as Haywire, where Alan Drek (Drake) created the Freakshow. This Hannah is technically totally unrelated to this Tessa.
[/ QUOTE ] Well, Haywire was Tessa-2's niece, so technically Hannah is Tessa-2's niece as well, but yes, you're right that Hannah is Tessa-1's niece.
Now you can see why I banned myself from ever touching the Alternate Dimension version of characters ever again. And banned myself from a lot of other things.
*Sits in a corner and pokes fluff while crying*
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B: Have the story delayed and put things out of whack
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Or... C: Send it to one of your adoring public for proof-reading (and then we could have had a sneak preview )
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*Sits in a corner and pokes fluff while crying*
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None of that! For every tear Ellen sheds God would kill a kitten, but there aren't any left due to all the Wings and Banks Suggestions. You realise Heaven is knee deep in little kittens with wings and halos, right? 
Disclaimer: The above may be humerous, or at least may be an attempt at humour. Try reading it that way.
Posts are OOC unless noted to be IC, or in an IC thread.
And Amy's going to be a godmother... *Sniffles* Awwwwww.
Nice work Ellen, and I know how it can be when you cannot find the right words. *hugs*
*throws at tissue in Stef's direction.* No tears on the keyboard!
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I'm going to pick holes in your composition just to be a meanie.
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Oi!! No being mean to Z!!!
I vote we tie him up, spray him down with concentrated catnip, and throw cats at him!
@FloatingFatMan
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
As long as Saraya, Yancha and Ellie are included, I'm happy.
And I can make jokes like that since they're pixels, and one of them belongs to my SO anyway.
Disclaimer: The above may be humerous, or at least may be an attempt at humour. Try reading it that way.
Posts are OOC unless noted to be IC, or in an IC thread.
I was thinking more along the lines of the real kind.. With fur, claws, teeth, and unusual behaviour around catnip!
@FloatingFatMan
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
((Well, this is it. Nine months of plot achiving fruition. Enjoy the story!))
While not exactly interesting, it helped. Surfing through the vending machine's CPU and learning just how hot it made the coffee and for how long helped take her mind off what was happening rooms away. Hannah was nervous. Nervous being an understatement. She'd been a single child for all of her old life, and for all of her new life. Sure, there was Jess. And Anna. And Harris... but they didn't count really. It was still her at home when they left, still her who got tucked in at night by one of her mothers. And woken up by them. She was the baby. The only child.
Not anymore. Laying back on the surprisingly comfortable waiting room sofas, cobalt blue hair fanning across the cushion, Hannah gnawed on her thumb anxiously. She'd be a sister soon. An eldest sister. -The- eldest sister. Sure, she was excited. She did enjoy helping to look after her 'brother' Harris' baby boy. But at the end of the day, Harris would take baby Alan back home to his mother, and Hannah would still be the kid at home. Even if she detested being called that.
Now though, there were going to be others at home. Little children. Babies who, unable to do much for themselves, would require lots of attention. Even if it did seem petty for a 16 year old, she was jealous. And scared too. The two twins would be -theirs-, not adopted. Even if she was the niece of Tessa biologically. She was a niece. Not a daughter.
Hannah rolled to her side, her mind still reaching out into the electrical devices around her. It wasn't working. No matter how much she used her gift, it wasn't forcing the thoughts from her head. Every system and technique has to fail sometime though, right? Glancing at the clock didn't help. Her mother had been in labour for several hours now. Worry began to slip into her thoughts over jealousy and separation anxiety. What if something had gone wrong? Would someone come to tell her?
Hannah laid back down again, trying again to force unwanted and upsetting thoughts from her mind. She had an unusual family. It's not every girl whose parents are billionaires. Or superheroes. Or war heroes, in her mother Zorielle's case. Or a dimensional variant of someone who died in the war three years ago, in Tessa's case. Or lesbians, for that matter, even in this day and age.
Hannah sighed. The word 'dimensional' seemed to factor into her family quite a lot. Anna was her from another dimension. Harris was a male her from another dimension. While she was pleased to see she made an attractive, handsome man, the fact that there were male versions of her out there sometimes creeped her out.
Hannah sighed again, concentrating on the florescent tube light above her, tracing the electrical currents running through with her eyes. Maybe 'weird' was a better word to describe her and her family. Hannah herself was a mutant, with the ability to manipulate electricity. She'd died once too. Only once more and she'd be equal with Buffy. The thought, the reference between her life and fiction, bought a smile to her lips. 'Truth is stranger than...' after all.
Her 'gift' was what caused her death. And more than likely what bought her back. And caused Jessica to be born. She amended her earlier thoughts. 'Weird dimensional technological events' defined her family. Considering her new siblings were a product of technology, patented by herself as well. Perks of neopotism, Hannah guessed. And having the ability to work directly with computers helped out.
Hannah sprung up, her body a tightly coiled spring as the door opened. Would it be a doctor? Zorielle? A nurse?
Hannah held out her arms as Anna ran up to her and enfolded her in a hug. They might be identical on a genetic level, but the two girls differed greatly. Hair colour was one, Anna kept her hair her natural red. Taste of clothes was another. Hannah tended more towards raver, while Anna swung more towards ex-army surplus. Harris was behind her too, he'd grown that goatee of his out a bit as well. The three held each other for a few long moments before sitting down.
"Any word, H?" Anna asked, sitting on the sofa with her heavy combat boots on the table. Hannah sighed, that trait of Anna's always annoyed her. "Nah, she's been in there about two hours now, maybe two and a half." Hannah replied, shaking her head. She was hoping talking would take her mind off things, but the thoughts still whirled around in the background.
"Shame I wasn't here for Cat when she gave birth." Harris said, putting his arm around Hannah. "Anyway, either of you want a coffee? Hot chocolate?" he asked. Anna smiled. "Hot chocolate would be great." she said, before Hannah shook her head. "Ran out." she said simply, keeping her eyes off the clock. The steady, rhythmic ticking would drive her insane and make her burst into the room her parents were in if she didn't block it out.
"You try for one earlier?" Anna asked. It was small talk, Hannah could tell. Normally those two would be talking about much more interesting things, and not in such a tense manner. She was pretty tense herself though. Who was she kidding, pretty? It felt like she'd snap in a gentle wind! Hannah remembered what she had been asked and shook her head. She'd actually discovered the vending machine has sachets instead of a drum of hot chocolate powder inside, and once all the sachets were used up the light would come on. Amazing what a girl like Hannah could find out when she was bored.
Time passed. As it does, except perhaps when a certain family friend was involved. Hannah shook her head, trying to get the sleep from her mind and the odd musings to move.. One in the morning. She'd check her e-mails. Write in her blog. She'd even play Minesweeper if she could. Not that she dared. She was good with her powers, but the thought of stress accidently causing an EMP burst in a hospital reinforced the decision to live with her boredom. And tension. And all those other feelings swirling about her head. Harris was sleeping. Well, napping. Not that she blamed him, he worked long hours to earn money to support his fiancee and their son. And Hannah was proud of him for it, it takes a certain strength of character to be determined to pay your own way through life and not mooch off relatives. Hannah had found that urge and strength in her shortly after being adopted, getting a job at her mother's company.
Anna was snoring away, head on Harris' shoulder. Hannah could forgive Anna for the snoring. She had that problem herself, which her mother easily fixed one night with some adhesive strips placed on the bridge of her nose. It was the fact that she -was- sleeping. Harris had an excuse, Anna played computer games in pro tournaments and spent the rest in comic and gaming shops, or with her boyfriend. The door opened again, and Hannah sprung up to her feet. Gymnastics had given her body that supple spring. It was the doctor. Or nurse... whatever he was, he was beckoning her over.
Hannah left the two sleeping, almost dashing over to the man beckoning her. "You can go in now." he said with a smile. Hannah moved on autopilot. It was probably petty of her not to wake up the two on the sofa, but after all, she wanted to be the first to see -her- siblings. Her little brother and sister. A smile formed on her lips, the negative thoughts from earlier being dispelled as it grew. She could -see- them. Her mothers and her new siblings. Sure, it was merely the electrical impulses of their nervous systems she could see, but it was still something. She stopped outside the door, 'T.Rolando' written on the white name board in washable marker. Slowly, she turned the handle and slipped into the room...
It was dimly lit, the bedside lamp on. The bed seemed rather big, the rails at the sides pushed down. Hannah's eyes traced up the hospital-standard, blue covers and white bedsheet. Tessa looked tired, no surprise there. Strands of her dark red hair stuck to her forehead, and she had an exhausted, but fufilled smile on her face as she looked at her daughter. Zorielle sat on the bed next to her, one leg off and touching the floor. The same smile, minus the exhaustion and plus proudness. A fathers proudness would have been a good way to describe it, if Zorielle was a man. One arm was around her partners, her wifes, shoulders as she looked at Hannah, the girl she had known since she was little, who almost a year ago was adopted by her, before she looked down at the two blanket wrapped bundles in her wifes arms.
Hannah stepped close and sat on the other side of the bed, tentatively reaching out her hands. Tessa nodded, as Zorielle passed one of the small bundles over. "This is Michael, Han..." Tessa said wearily. Hannah held the baby close to her, looking down at the small face of her brother. He was asleep, which was nice. It gave her moms some peace and quiet after all. A small lock of dark brown hair, tinted with a slight red, poked out of the blankets. Hannah shifted her hold on him, keeping him steady in one arm as she was ready to be given the other to hold.
Zorielle passed the other baby other, the two looking similar at this age, but Hannah, like her mothers, would easily be able to tell the difference. "This is Kelly..." Zorielle said quietly. Hannah smiled down as her baby sister opened her eyes for a brief moment, lost in the depth of her sisters dark black pupils before Kelly drifted back to sleep. Hannah looked up at her parents, then back down at her siblings again with a smile. Placing the two back in their mothers arms, she sat up and grinned ."So, when do you want me to babysit?"
SUPPORT - IT'S NOT JUST A GROUPING OF ATs
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More Than a Game
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