City of Heroes: Live Forum Archive

[IMG] #1013 - Turg Fiction: Ghost in the Machine

Angry_Citizen

By Angry_Citizen,
Posted on: 2009-04-08 15:29 in Mission Architect

 

Posted

To view the teaser poster for "Turg Fiction: Ghost in the Machine" Maxi-Arc, please click here. (Artwork by IRONxWeazel)

NEW: And if you'd like a wallpaper rendition, here ya go!

Arc Name: Turg Fiction: Ghost in the Machine, Act I
Arc ID: 1013
Faction: Heroic
Creator Global/Forum Name: @Turgenev (Live and Test)
Difficulty Level: Best played from 35-50. Middling to Hard.
Estimated Time to Play: 1-2 Hours
Synopsis: Wherein the old is new again; the dead may live; and our hearts will sing where our mind knows not the tune. - On one fateful day, our hero comes across an old Arachnos training simulation regarding a mysterious enemy. And on that fateful day, your life will never again be the same. (Act I of III)



This is my feedback thread for the first in a three-arc "maxi-arc" I'm writing as my first foray into fiction in nearly half a decade.

If anyone here played Planetside back in the early 2000s, they might remember my "Turg Fiction" short story series, culminating with the novella "Dissection". Well, it's been five years, and I've been wanting to put quill to ink for a while now. Mission Architect seems like a perfect way to do that.

I crave feedback! Let me know what works and what doesn't! I have the next two arcs already sketched out but unwritten, but I'm really curious to know how well I can tell a a qualified story through a game medium and still retain the emotional impact I'm looking for!

I hope you like my published offering. Please review my arc, enjoy, and tell me what you think.

 

Posted

The below flier is posted on behalf of the player promoting their Mission Arc.

For more information about having a flier posted, please see the Event Posting Rules

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Posted

I did this arc.


The ending was all .

In the Arena of Logic, I fight unarmed.

 

Posted

I love the arc and recommend everybody try it. I can't wait 'til part 2 and 3 are released Soon™.

 

Posted

Love the arc Turg. You had quite a fan following last night on the Freedom chat channels . Absolutely LOVE the poster for this. That is Awesome!

I just wish the devs could create a way for every member of a team to be able to see all the dialog from the contact. There is some great writing in there that really should not be missed. Maybe one day

Luna

46 Toons on Freedom, 1988+ Levels, 17 Level 50's
The Freedom Horde on Facebook
Globals: @Luna de Nocturne & @Luna Moone
Luna on Facebook (Feel Free to Add!)

 

Posted

If I'm not mistaken, once you're on a team, you can see the mish details and dialog if you click on the little 'i' just left of the mish name in your nav compass.... at least, I think it shows all of the dialog and such that you're talking about.

"You'll never defeat SetTargetHealth 0. "-Castle
---
"Oh, and we�ll probably nerf Regen again�just for fun."-BaB
---
"so we are looking into the possiblity of maybe someday thinking about maybe implementing something similar to this, in the future" -Positron

 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
If I'm not mistaken, once you're on a team, you can see the mish details and dialog if you click on the little 'i' just left of the mish name in your nav compass.... at least, I think it shows all of the dialog and such that you're talking about.

[/ QUOTE ]

Heya,

You see "some" of the dialogue, unfortunately, and not all. For instance, the mission closing text for a success or fail, which is what I'm using to cram in the conversational style with the main protagonist.

The "I" on the mission compass, or the "more" button on the Missions list, will get you the Mission Offer and the Mission Accept, but yeah, it's not complete. That's why I'm selling this as a primarily solo arc, for story purposes.

What IS nice, however, is that you CAN cut and paste from the mission success/fail window and post it into Team Chat, for everyone to read. So, if you have a thoughtful team leader, you're in good shape!

 

Posted

*sigh*

Turg I wont lie ta ya, there has been this one sided beef between you an' me that kin only be ended by me an' you in the arena ...

So ya see I was all ready ta hate, oh pie was I ready ta hate.

/em jingles his bag of one stars

but then I played the arc ...

First off you had some good writtin in there, right in the beginning you set it off like there is some kinda comedy feel wit the computers on the fritz, but then ya twist it on me.

There has been only 2 story arcs in this game that have gotten me emotionally involved. That is the Terra story arc on heros, an' the arc in villains that has you being played by both the mooks and the family.

Now there is three.

You pulled off the sense of me feeling like a hero in the story arc.

But I gotta ask ... what if I'm a chick?

Gratz Turg, you begrudginly git a 5 out of 5

/em trudges off wit this unopened bag of 1 stars.

JFS
-The Legendary J-Man-

PS You'll hear about mish4 online from me later

 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If I'm not mistaken, once you're on a team, you can see the mish details and dialog if you click on the little 'i' just left of the mish name in your nav compass.... at least, I think it shows all of the dialog and such that you're talking about.

[/ QUOTE ]

Heya,

You see "some" of the dialogue, unfortunately, and not all. For instance, the mission closing text for a success or fail, which is what I'm using to cram in the conversational style with the main protagonist.

The "I" on the mission compass, or the "more" button on the Missions list, will get you the Mission Offer and the Mission Accept, but yeah, it's not complete. That's why I'm selling this as a primarily solo arc, for story purposes.

What IS nice, however, is that you CAN cut and paste from the mission success/fail window and post it into Team Chat, for everyone to read. So, if you have a thoughtful team leader, you're in good shape!

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh, good idea Turg! I had not thought about that. I'll play around with it tonight when I run my SG mates through your arc.

46 Toons on Freedom, 1988+ Levels, 17 Level 50's
The Freedom Horde on Facebook
Globals: @Luna de Nocturne & @Luna Moone
Luna on Facebook (Feel Free to Add!)

 

Posted

The arc was very well written and amazing. I loved it.

My only pet peeve was the very very very annoying lieutenants. They just kept spamming Spectral Terrors and it totally ruined my experience in the last mission.

But 5 stars nontheless!

 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
But I gotta ask ... what if I'm a chick?


[/ QUOTE ] Then it's an "Giggity!" moment.

In the Arena of Logic, I fight unarmed.

 

Posted

This is definitely an arc that you want to take the time to read all the text. I also found the custom groups and bosses to be a solid challenge, but not over the top. I would really recommend this as one of the first arcs people should run when trying out MA. It really sets the bar on what can be done with it.

 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
But I gotta ask ... what if I'm a chick?


[/ QUOTE ] Then it's an "Giggity!" moment.

[/ QUOTE ]

*cue up the Barry Whites*

I wrote Sunglare/Mizel to be bisexual, so the attraction isn't limited strictly to gender. NO, you won't be bazoinking in arc 3.

(...although if I could get Sister Psyche from the ITF in a test mish, well, I might make a one-off for private play. XD)

This might be a good time to ask: Any females care to comment on how I played her off? Handled well? Clumsy?

Re: "Those annoying Lieutenants". That's probably the biggest comment I get on this arc. I've scaled then down as much as I can, I swear - but on the updated version (where I correct a few grammaticals and tighten up a few things), I'll switch the Lt's to Bosses, and vice versa.

Solowise, some people have no problems with them; others get frustrated. I hear all of you on it (I've been logging comments for review!), and I promise that a tweak-up to address that one big concern is in play.

 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
There has been only 2 story arcs in this game that have gotten me emotionally involved. That is the Terra story arc on heros, an' the arc in villains that has you being played by both the mooks and the family.

Now there is three.

You pulled off the sense of me feeling like a hero in the story arc.


[/ QUOTE ]

Commenting on this in particular:

J, you're one of the most insane, twisted, fricked-up-in-da-head mooks I've ever rumbled with, either on the forums or in the game. Seeing you walk into a forum thread with a comment is always prefixed with "Oh boy, someone's bakin' a poopcake of a post". In the game, I resign myself to directing all my efforts to staying alive cuz you're one of the most aggrolicious tanks on the hemisphere.

Hearing what you just said above lets me know, "Damn, I did it."

Thanks for the high compliment, bro, from the bottom of my heart.

 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
But I gotta ask ... what if I'm a chick?


[/ QUOTE ] Then it's an "Giggity!" moment.

[/ QUOTE ]

*cue up the Barry Whites*

I wrote Sunglare/Mizel to be bisexual, so the attraction isn't limited strictly to gender. NO, you won't be bazoinking in arc 3.

(...although if I could get Sister Psyche from the ITF in a test mish, well, I might make a one-off for private play. XD)

This might be a good time to ask: Any females care to comment on how I played her off? Handled well? Clumsy?

Re: "Those annoying Lieutenants". That's probably the biggest comment I get on this arc. I've scaled then down as much as I can, I swear - but on the updated version (where I correct a few grammaticals and tighten up a few things), I'll switch the Lt's to Bosses, and vice versa.

Solowise, some people have no problems with them; others get frustrated. I hear all of you on it (I've been logging comments for review!), and I promise that a tweak-up to address that one big concern is in play.

[/ QUOTE ]

I gave you my feedback in game Word choice; it's all word choice.

I think the whole gender/sexuality issue has to be considered along side the character's situation ((trying not to get spoilery)) and how it might change someone's views just for the sake of human contact, perhaps.

Strangely I've found I have more to comment on in a high quality arc than a lousy one. It's very good, but I see how it could be better, if even little.

Did you ever get a map for part two?

 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]

I wrote Sunglare/Mizel to be bisexual, so the attraction isn't limited strictly to gender. NO, you won't be bazoinking in arc 3.

This might be a good time to ask: Any females care to comment on how I played her off? Handled well? Clumsy?

Solowise, some people have no problems with them; others get frustrated. I hear all of you on it (I've been logging comments for review!), and I promise that a tweak-up to address that one big concern is in play.

[/ QUOTE ]

Giving feedback as a female (in game and out): While the text referenced above did surprise me when I came across it, I do not feel it is out of place .

Trying to put this in a way that is not spoiler-y..... After I read it, and thought about it for a sec, it seemed appropriate for the character. She was very lonely, and she wanted to connect with another human being that had come to mean something to her. Gender did not matter to her. I say go with the flow...

As for those Lt's spamming Spectral Terror, it was slightly annoying, but after playing a different arc last night where every minion spammed glue patches to slow you, I have to think that the Spectral Terror's are not that bad lol .

The first time I played your arc I was on Luna - Dual Blade/Regen Scrapper with the Fighting Pool. She's pretty sturdy. The Spectral Terror's slowed me down, but wasn't horrible. I died twice in the final mission when the ambush spawned. Still not too bad.

Last night I played through part of it, on my Dark/Ice Defender with my husband's baby tank. We did okay except for the part in the first missions where he aggro'd the boss and I aggro'd a patrol all at the same time. Things got a little nasty and I died of course . Still not unreasonable.

Gonna say it again, great arc Turg! Get to work on the next parts

Luna

46 Toons on Freedom, 1988+ Levels, 17 Level 50's
The Freedom Horde on Facebook
Globals: @Luna de Nocturne & @Luna Moone
Luna on Facebook (Feel Free to Add!)

 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
As for those Lt's spamming Spectral Terror, it was slightly annoying, but after playing a different arc last night where every minion spammed glue patches to slow you, I have to think that the Spectral Terror's are not that bad lol

[/ QUOTE ] I did an arc where the final mission had 4 Elite Boss spawn on you, all had the Mercs/Illusion Control powerset.

So many confuses and Stuns from those Spec Ops and Terrorizes from those Spectral Terrors.....

And to Turg, I had an arc where the idea were similiar but different, but I'm afraid that if I publish it, people might think I'm trying to rip you off...

In the Arena of Logic, I fight unarmed.

 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
And to Turg, I had an arc where the idea were similiar but different, but I'm afraid that if I publish it, people might think I'm trying to rip you off...

[/ QUOTE ]

Nothing is new under the sun. Post it up, and shoot me a link, I'd love to see it/review it.

 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
And to Turg, I had an arc where the idea were similiar but different, but I'm afraid that if I publish it, people might think I'm trying to rip you off...

[/ QUOTE ]

Nothing is new under the sun. Post it up, and shoot me a link, I'd love to see it/review it.

[/ QUOTE ]I'm writing it as we speak....

I intend for it to start stupidly, as a silly game you picked which quickly get very serious.

In the Arena of Logic, I fight unarmed.

 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
And to Turg, I had an arc where the idea were similiar but different, but I'm afraid that if I publish it, people might think I'm trying to rip you off...

[/ QUOTE ]

Nothing is new under the sun. Post it up, and shoot me a link, I'd love to see it/review it.

[/ QUOTE ]I'm writing it as we speak....

I intend for it to start stupidly, as a silly game you picked which quickly get very serious.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, make sure to hit me up on that, I'm curious now.

 

Posted

Just like I told you last night Turg, I love this arc! Ran it with a team last night and today I ran it solo. Rocks both ways and I can't wait for the next installment. Great job! *thumbs up*

 

Posted

Turg I just realized you dropped the ball.

There is no souvenier. An' now ya can't edit it!!
OH KNOEZ!!

Well it doesn't matter, 'cause witout a souvengier I've already fergottena bout ol' Dana.