ridiculous_girl

White Collar Crime ID# 153323
i ran this arc with my level 30 MA/SR scrapper on heroic. i am sorry i was so long in coming in doing your mission. that was my fault. i was updating my list off of my review thread while your feedback was in my arc thread. i got confused and dropped the ball with your review. i am glad you reminded me.

thoughts and observations as i was going along.

mission 1
how do you know it is the freaks?
you could always do powerspike in the hacker speak... powasp1k3 or something ridiculous like that
exit pop up... maybe "of the freak leader...?"

mission 2
the boss has a hacker speak name here.
in forz3 1l3vhn his description is about the crey special projects not the character itself. is this on purpose?

mission 3
i like the surprise destruct sequence. that is a great touch.
maybe you could have its destruct dialogue go more than once, per damage that it takes. some kind of countdown?

mission 4
the void two captured animation was really weird... it might be bugged...

very nice and neat little arc you have there. i was thinking it was a little slow in the beginning but it got better as it went along. i could not see any typos, it had the appearance of being thoroughly checked and edited. the first two missions were a little on the forgettable side. but you had me intrigued when you threw in the destruction sequence. that was a nice touch and completely unexpected and added new tension to what was feeling like a routine mission. the last mission is where you rolled out all the custom enemy group. i only wish that we could have had earlier encounters with some of them, besides the two bosses. if you could find a way to sprinkle them in a little earlier it would be nice. i wish i had ideas on how you could perk up the earlier missions.

there were a couple of loose ends that i could not tie in my head. who was mr black and why should i trust him, especially in something that looks like a corporate turf war? i am also not clear as to why their shipment was intercepted and how this tied to crey. did they intercept crey tech too? did i miss this in the clues? if so why did i pursue this further? i must have missed something important along the way. maybe thnis could be solved by more detailed clues?

otherwise, while slow starting, this arc picked up at the end nicely. the custom group was a lot of fun to fight. i would be interesting to take with a large team.

i will put on my review list right now...

thank you, twelth, for your ringing endorsement. your play and your feedback are greatly appreciated. i will gladly reciprocate and play your arc. if i do so, would you care for a review and feedback or just a play and an in-game /tell feedback? if you want something more in-depth i can either post it on my review thread or PM you. let me know...

throw this one on your to do list, if you will. it would be greatly appreciated.

Do YOU have nightmares about the Vahzilok? Can't sleep because you failed to defeat that Boss over and over again? Do you let your teammates down because you run away from Malta sappers? Do clowns make you have an anxiety attack? Try HERO Therapy (TM)! Start Today! 4 EASY sessions! (1EB,1AV allies provided)

Please give this arc a try... you probably need to. Only 5(!) easy payments! You will not regret it!

*Small print* Failure to complete this arc may result in impotence, baldness, general ridicule from children, a lessening of EXP earning potential, and an overall decline of self respect. For further details contact ridiculous girl. Money will not be refunded under any condition.

yes, secret shame is a bit dark. but it is dark regardless of whether you are male or female. she does not necessarily have to be an accurate representation of a "real world" person. she is the personification of a burning, shameful memory. i guess she could have been entirely different, but i like her this way.

excellent point! i would have several possible answers... one, he is throwing your own doubts back at you, and furthering them logically to weaken you. or he is he is picking up psychic emanations from the therapist and using them against you, thereby undermining him. or the door is tapping into the collective unconscious and drawing material from there that he can use against you. i had not considered it too deeply, before.

thank you for playing and the feedback. you are next on my list BTW...

truthfully? it is not really a comedy. it has some comic elements, but i would not describe it as a comedy. ok, maybe a light romantic comedy... just kidding. but seriously, in my description i am trying to sell a product... try it and tell me that i am lying?

well, add me to your list if you have not already...

Do YOU have nightmares about the Vahzilok? Can't sleep because you failed to defeat that Boss over and over again? Do you let your teammates down because you run away from Malta sappers? Do clowns make you have an anxiety attack? Try HERO Therapy (TM)! Start Today! 4 EASY sessions! (1EB,1AV allies provided)

Please give this arc a try... you probably need to. Only 5(!) easy payments! You will not regret it!

*Small print* Failure to complete this arc may result in impotence, baldness, general ridicule from children, a lessening of EXP earning potential, and an overall decline of self respect. For further details contact ridiculous girl. Money will not be refunded under any condition.

Uncle Sam Wants YOU arc #10558 by Hercules

ok i ran this with my level 30 MA/SR scrapper on heroic.

typos and observations along the way of playing through...

mission 1
-opening brief it says... "asking ..." and "i'll understand.,"
-save what remnant? how is he here? how are we getting to his world?
-there is a period after the unknown soldier.
-where is this happening? you answer it in the mission pop up.
-the time bomb has the original rikti description... can't that be changed?
-in the dialogue for the unknown soldier the period needs to be in the quotes. he has no description.
-with Nuclear Adam, one nuclear does not need to be capitalized. no description either
-are the rescues randomly distributed? i found them all in about the same area...
-no clues?

mission 2
-is there an east germany if the war never ended? maybe eastern Germany?
-is this side mission of finding the daughter really necessary? why now? kind of an odd coincidence...

mission 3
-no clue for mission 3?
-no descriptions for any character
-your zero has the original skyraider skiff description.
-convenient that statesman had a chameleon suit
-why should that prevent Japanese forces on american soil? it was just one raid disguised as a German...

chapter 4
-mission brief their is spelled wrong
-you need to change arachnos to the arachnos and make the second sentence plural. otherwise it sounds like a person rather than an organization. now i am confused. is arachnos a person? since the raiders are asking an arachnos agent where is arachnos...?
-why is it a defeat all in such an enormous map?


ok this arc leaves a lot to be desired. you have great costumes, but that does not make up for the problems that i saw. granted this is the first part in a series. but you have too many threads going on here to make much sense. you have an enormous number of custom toons in this arc, and you have done this at the sacrificing of detail. not one of your custom characters have a description, with exception of uncle sam's short one. none of your destructible objects has anything different in their descriptions. for example the time bomb in the first mission has still has the original rikti bomb description, which thematically makes no sense at all. tons of cool custom toons running around do not make up for these simple details.

the next major problem is the story line. you have five missions, they are almost all unconnected, with the exception that two of the three heroes from the first story make an appearance in the last mission. otherwise they are missions that do not connect with the next one. they may play to the overall general story, but they do not build upon the other. what does saving uncles sam's daughter have to do with any of the later missions, except boost morale of the forces? it is a mission that is unrelated to any of the others. you left many things unanswered and weirdly open ended. in the 4th mission you go to help arachnos, but it seems to be both the organization and a person. at times it is difficult to differentiate between the two also. i am guessing that this is lord recluse? it is thrown in there but nothing develops of it.

the dialogue needs a lot of work. it is very clichéd and standard. it seems to come from all the bad war hero movies. for example...

[NPC] Shogun Taganaki: I knew you German dogs were not to be trusted! Prepare to die.
[NPC] Shogun Taganaki: The Empire will soon dominate the world.
[NPC] Shogun Taganaki: You cannot hope to defeat me.
[NPC] Shogun Taganaki: What? This is not possible.

i am not sure what you can do about it. it is very standard and could stand a lot of improvement.

your 4th mission is the worst. you have an enormous map and it is a kill all. this is a huge no-no for a lot of people. to make matters worse it is an arachnos base which makes for a lot of nooks and crannies for bad guys to hide in. i do not even think it made sense for the story to kill all. not really sure why i have to rescue people either. or that one was an ally and the other was just a captive.

this arc was all over the place. you frame the Germans with an attack on a Japanese base and that stops all Japanese operations on american soil? you stop two top generals and that turns the tide for the battle? there is too much cut and dried hero movie clichés here. truthfully just this arc should be cut in two. on for the Japanese part and another for the German part. then maybe you can put in some details and tie the stories together. you would reduce the number of custom toons, there were 11 of them (?), and free some space up for other things. this arc needs some major revisions. it has potential, but as it is now i feel it is a mess.

(edit) oops i forgot, i need to submit a review... you will get one shortly... sorry, first thing in the monrning, no coffee yet...

if i have not submitted something for your review here is mine... if i have, here it is again...

Do YOU have nightmares about the Vahzilok? Can't sleep because you failed to defeat that Boss over and over again? Do you let your teammates down because you run away from Malta sappers? Do clowns make you have an anxiety attack? Try HERO Therapy (TM)! Start Today! 4 EASY sessions! (1EB,1AV with ally help)

Please give this arc a try... you probably need to. Only 5(!) easy payments! You will not regret it!

*Small print* Failure to complete this arc may result in impotence, baldness, general ridicule from children, a lessening of EXP earning potential, and an overall decline of self respect. For further details contact ridiculous girl. Money will not be refunded under any condition.

but as i was saying with the ghosts... you have a time loop paradox. what is the primary cause of this disruption? something that creates this alternate reality... unless they, the ghosts, are already moving sideways as well as backwards in time you need an outside interference in the time stream.

sorry that was so unfocused a feedback review. BTW... i blame it on cooking dinner at the same time.

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Also, was the eb easier? :P

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yes, but with my scapper maybe too easy...

thank you for the in-depth review. it is greatly appreciated.

the clue thing has been mentioned at several times. the problem is that i have no room whatsoever. the level of details that i put in prevent that. besides i have no idea what i would put in the clues that is not already covered in depth by the briefs and debriefs.

the carnies are a bug. they are appear at a lower level for villains than for heroes. or is it vice versa? i have to fix that yet again. i put it back because i moved something else and i forgot.

my secret with the random encounters is... *drum roll* they are the high level reflections enemy group. i just made the group and stocked them with random minion, LTs and bosses. they are quite a diverse bunch of the high level enemies groups with a ghostly aura.

i love my little nightmares... once they siphon speed they are a sight to see... sometimes they siphon of a battle before they attack, so all you see is a silver flash before they hit...

i did turn down the number of glowies in the second mission, but when i ran it i missed them. i like the futility of either searching for them all or having to listen to their constant sound. so i put the number higher again.

some people do not like the therapist following them around. but he is unnecessary once you find him, since he is the trigger but a non combatant. i find it amusing that people will go back and get him if he gets lost... i do it all the time, even if i have to turn my stealth off. which cracks me up. there are levels of psychology that i did not imagine until i started getting feedback from people.

but anyway... thank you for your play and your review.

140129 Fate & Destiny by Cap'tain Amazing

even though i was not going to proof your arc a second time i saw something... opening brief final mission, it should read "more than happy..."

ok, i ran this with my level 30 MA/SR scrapper on heroic. since i ran it before i stealthed through most of it. several of the typos that i mentioned before are still there.

that ending was a bit of a downer. the problem that i have with this entire arc is that i am really the bad guy here. our interference with the time stream is the ultimate cause for the outcome. each time. DL becomes a hero originally because he saves someone. but with our interference he does become a hero but for another reason. his primary motivation is changed. or did i get that part wrong? i am still not clear what the ghosts have to do with this and what their interference is for. maybe i missed something, but that really seems like a loose end. i think i really missed what the primary cause for all this was. why were the ghosts attacking, to prevent this? if they were from the future, then they are also the primary instigation for that future. the problem with that is if that is so, the only way to correct that paradox is if they not only if they went back in time, but sideways. the other problem is that our interference ultimately brings this about.

while i understand that 3 mission map, it is a huge pain in the [censored] to search for that small object and then set out to search again for DL, luckily he is surrounded by something different than everything else. in the last map, which is also huge, you are not so lucky. you have to pick him out of a haystack. was he surrounded by ghosts again? is it a battle? i do not remember off hand.

i don’t know... your use of huge maps really got on my nerves after a while. it is a good thing, since i have use several myself that i know where the spawn points are... but that third map is very difficult because you cannot track your movement. so i really end up going all over the place. that last map, again, is understandable, but it is one of the largest in the bunch. i doubt you will change them because thematically they make sense. but you need to make things easier to find the final objectives. why do you even mention the shivans? it is an aside that is a wink with the mender, but it is a throwaway line. there are many loose ends here, i feel. to compound the problem is that i went through it several days ago, but had to start and finish it again. i may have missed more than i should have. but your continuity is funny. the first mission makes sense, the second not so much so, third yes, and the fourth yes. i feel it needs a lot of work, but i am not sure where you should start.

sorry for such a rambling mass of free association feedback. probably has to do with the lack of continuity in my running it twice. i hope you can get something out of what i am saying here...

i just put in the gravity bosses because they had decieve before, and with the final boss and his confuse it was too much. but you do feel like a stone tank for a little while... i even talk in slow motion...

you know what? i ran into that too, last night... i will fix that battle thing. thanks for the play, laserjesus!

oh and the clues thing... i have several people mention that. no room. i hit memory cap early, with all the details. constantly fighting with 99.99% memory. if i knew what to add for clues i cannot anyways...

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I've given folks a bunch of reviews for their arcs ingame, but this is the first one that I've done that's not limited by the terseness of ingame tells...

ArcID: 119228
ArcName: Hero Therapy! (TM)
Author: @Ridiculous Girl
Level range: Ramps up nicely from beginning to end.
1st mish: lvl 5-20
2nd mish: lvl 20-29
3rd mish: lvl 30-40
4th mish: lvl 41-54
Synopsis: You can't sleep; the weight of the world is on your shoulders from all the superheroing you've been doing and your fellow heroes referred you to a therapist to help get you back in the game...

Review: This is what I like… a non-standard, interesting premise for a story. It's well put together, and the humor works without trying too hard. I was kind of hoping that I'd get clues after each mission -- isn't that what therapy is all about? But the mission exit dialog actually performed that function. Having clues would have been a bit more long-lasting while doing the arc.

The maps are well selected... somewhat gloomy and spooky in line with going deep into the psyche.

The objectives in this whole arc are very well thought out and enjoyable; they are very appropriate for the story. Writing a story alluding to things the main character "did" without actually giving specific is hard to pull off, especially while making it appropriate for many different main characters. This one pulls it off very well. Overall a very engaging arc... I couldn't wait to get to the next part to see what other surprises my "subconscious" had for me and actually had me trying to avoid the end objective to find all the gems the author put in the arc.

Minor technical issues (occasional spoiler):

1st mish: in the mission intro text there's a minor misspelling (I think the only one I saw):

"refered" should be "referred"

also, the Navigation Text Single appears to be missing for the Librarian;

I *might* try to put the librarian in the main room w/ the bookcases instead of the cave, but YMMV.

2nd mish: I think perhaps the allies that were supposed to be in mish 2 got killed. They weren't present despite the entry text saying they would be (and I spent an extra 10 minutes checking the whole map to look for them).

The siphon speed spamming from the Nightmares is intense... they spammed up to 6 and 8 instances on me at the same time. Was that intended or is that fallout from the 5/5 patch?

3rd mish: The allies did show up as advertised in this one (not that I needed them for the PB I was running, but it was good to see they were working). Nice effect on the boss here. The mask used makes her look true to her name;

4th mish: In the final room, The main ally barged in before I was in percep range of final boss and got himself killed so he was unavailable to assist in that battle. The final map is one of my all time favorites! Glad to see it again

Overall I give this a 5 on story, 4 on the few technical issues (some of which appear to be patch related)... I gave this a 5 in game.


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hey, thank you for running this... i was looking in this thread because i submitted a while ago and i was going to whine that i did not get a review.

-i do not think anything spawns outside in the main areas of the midnighter club, unfortunately. it was the only map that i could think of with a library or library related.

-the second mission map is a problem in general. spawning of allies and the therapist has been problematic. they should always spawn near the front if possible. but with that map the therapist, who is the trigger frequently spawned in the back, right near the final boss. i recently tried to fix this, but i have not tried it enough to see if it is consistent. i am trying for therapist first and then with further progress in you find the allies. but sometimes you have to backtrack. which is not what i want, but what sometimes happens.

-the little nightmares do spam their siphon, but i like that. it seems they go for the one that set off the trigger, which is difficult to figure out, because they are sent from the back. when you are solo it is a pain. but i like it when the siphon and speed up. sometimes they siphon off a battle before they arrive, which in my opinions is even cooler.

-i wondered if anyone would ever notice that detail with her mask...

-i adjusted the boss, but allies and their aggression are a difficult thing. he is on aggressive. i wonder if it makes sense thematically to put him on defensive?

but thank you for you play and for the feedback. it is always appreciated. i am glad someone dived into the detail. i just ran it again and found myself going through it too because it is fun.

there are also reviewers that post reviews but do not have their own thread... *cough laserjesus cough* at least i do not think they do... but they routinely post on other threads.

i think they should be caught and thoroughly reviewed too...

yes... actually, i put you on my list policewoman, so i could get a review off of you. you are in my queue, for what it is worth. thanks for this list though. i was pretty surprised as to who did not have theirs reviewed that often. the quid pro quo ones, more often of course. yes, who does review the rewiewers?

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I've been thinking about it, and if you want to put up a review of Rise of the Drakule, ridiculous_girl, feel free. The reason why I initially said no is because I felt that since I didn't specifically put it up for review, that it would be unfair or some crap. I've since realized that reasoning is stupid. I'll play through one of your arcs as per the rules if you want to type up a review of it.

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as you wish, LJ, i was not offended by your initial decline. i would only be too happy to do another one of yours. i asked because i was surprised that venture admitted so few of reviews for himself. i figured maybe it was the same for you. i will put you on my list and post something. i will do your sequel to drakule, since that one is newer and i think longer. i did like the first, so i am looking forward to the second.

give me a few days since i have a couple of others in the queue ahead. i cannot do anything as in-depth as your reviews are, i am too scatter brained. i have this horrible keyboard that slows things down tremendously too... but i will go through and tell you what i think. for whatever that is worth.

now that is a list! i might just run a few of those myself solely based on the names...

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Just ran through your arc. That has to be the most ... unusual ... story I've ever played. Very well written - only two minor spelling issues that I detected:
- Hypnotise is the british spelling. American is hypnotize.
- In the last arc: recurrance should be recurrence.


Observations:
- Interesting use of glowies to refer to abstract concepts such as memories. Took me a minute to figure out what you were doing though. Some younger players might be confused.
- Nice custom mobs, although some variation between the minion and lieutenent designs would be good
- Inconsistency on where to find my allies. Never found "Steel" on the 2nd map. And had to die and reenter the mission to find him on the 3rd map.
- I didn't like the 'random' ambushes, which were probably triggered by some glowie or destructible object. If I'm fighting a boss, I usually know to watch for something, since thats the most common use of the feature. When I have to pause after every object, thinking "ambush?", it gets annoying. I almost died twice, and did die once after being ambushed while fighting other mobs. You should state in your mission description that it's not easily soloed by squishies. It was rough on my controller, I cant imagine doing it with a blaster.
- The name "The Steel You Lack" is somewhat insulting to the player. Maybe "The Steel Hidden Within" would be more suitable?
- Not sure why, but the contact could not follow me with stealth on. The other allies had no problem.
- Very funny banter between the mobs. I enjoyed it.
- Mission 4: "Would you like fries with that hamburger".... um, ok, is that some kind of hypnotic trigger phrase?
- Mission 4: There was no rescue text from "Secret Shame". I expect the silent treatment from "Steel", but not from all of them.
Overall, an excellent arc, I gave it four stars.

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thank you, hercules. (i have not said that in a while...)
i am working on a french laptop made in china for an american company with a broken keyboard and using word in the UK language setting to edit. the odd are stacked against me. but i will get those typos, thanks. i hate going through mounds of text over and over.

in regards to your observations...
the hospital map has a lot of problems spawning stuff. the therapist should always spawn in front and the allies too after being triggered. i had to move him to the middle, because he was always spawning in the back, in the last room. i guess i should try messing with where the allies pop next.

the little nightmares are just that. i run through with my blaster. i forget where the triggers are all the time. so i am paranoid. i like a little paranoia inserted in my arcs. the other arc has even more paranoia. someone suggested i put in text, them calling out something embarrassing. but i like their silence. i ran wit a team of super lowbies, 3 of us, we saw a single file of about 10 run by silently we all backed up against a wall and did a collective "WHAO!" that was what i wanted. they are a pain, they are managable, and i even die myself occasionally. it was pretty difficult with the lowbies, primarily because of the auto-sk and the variety of high level mobs. but we did complete.

i like the name the steel you lack. got it from a song. you do learn later that he is a part of you, just something that you might not realize is there.

fries and hamburger is your trigger phrase. he does mention that a trigger has been implanted.

i might have put a rescue response, or i might have forgotten for secret shame. i am constantly bumping up against the memory limit. that is why the custom toons are limited. one minion, one LT, one boss. you have to do a lot of give and take in the missions, that is what i chose.

thank you for the feedback. i will look in to some things. i will also put your arc up for playing soon. today or maybe tomorrow.
RG

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EDIT: Some of those errors should have been updated already unless it didn't take last update! >< Sorry RG, what your playing is an rough draft it sounds like. Will resubmit after I reexamine the errors that may have occured!
-C.A.

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hno worries, thne repugblishnihngb cahn gbe a paihn ihn thne hneck. i am hnever quite sure whnehn it is gboihngb to tak or hnot. thnougbhn i am gbettihngbg better withn uhnderstahndihngb its eccehntricites. i will gbive it a gbo later today ahnd fihnishn
it up, feedgback will gfollow. (unedited for cap'tain amazing's sake, damn keyboard)

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My prime concerns are 1033 and 140129 atm the last being in need of fresh passes to see where my plot holes are, 1033 needs a standard test to see how well it's keeping up with the test of time.
-C.A.

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140129 Fate & Destiny by Cap'tain Amazing

ok here is what i saw and observed. mission 1 seems pretty clean.
mission 2
in the opening brief second mission, is says "ha sprung up." ahnd there needs to be a space between atlas and park too
i love the touch about no one seeing the ghosts.
but i thought no one could see the ghosts? how can the PPD?
between the close brief for 2 and for the opening for 3 there seems to be a problem with time passed. he say another thing has popped up, and then in 3 he goes "welcome, welcome" and acts like a fair bit of time has passed. i was expecting something right away, apparently but some time has passed. odd continuity...

mission 3
is his name dark lightening or lightning?
in the out brief is says "no telling whose your friend..."
in dark lightning's description it says "in atlas..or"
in DL's rescue text it says "get into MAGIs remains" it is kind of an awkward sentence.
in the rolling stone clue DLs name is spelled wrong again.
in the exit pop up piece is spelled wrong

mission 4
in the opening brief it says "bet your wondering" it needs to be you're
the mender basically repeats the exact same thing as the 3rd mission closing brief.
DL's name is spelled wrong again.
in the final boss' text he spells his name wrong again.

ok i could not complete this arc, cap. everything was fine up until the last boss. i was running on my level 33 AR/dev blaster on rugged. smooth sailing until the final boss. then i could not kill him. i hardly think i brought him down by a 1/4. i was going to lower the difficulty and start over, but i dced and that saved me the trouble. on heroic, even as an orange EB i could hardly make a dent. i gave up after the second death. you might reconsider your powers setting on this guy. he cut me to ribbons and healed quickly. you also HUGE maps for several missions. while i like the destroyed atlas map, having a triggered boss in a map where you cannot even see your progress is frustrating. oh well... if you make any changes to the boss let me know and i will stealth through to the end and respond about the story.

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I did! I endorsed it you silly nilly! Also, I vote we buy youse a new keyboard!

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you did? both? i need a new brain more than i need a keyboard. which is on order. from germany. and we all know that germans are not known for their efficiency... but anyways... if so, then i owe you another run. which would you like? wait a second... did you post feedback or did you give me a pat on the back? you can always run the last arc, if you want something to do. but i need to republish that...