Pious

ahh.. so you agree that the feedback *was* a little harsh.

case settled?

lol.

/e woksmash

¬¬ u confuse me... u doing this on purpose? ¬¬

bahh! u break my brain. now u buy me new one.

sorry, what did u mean by *woks*

:/ far as i know, woks is an asian frying pan.

and it looks like i'm the first one to respond. *dances a happy dance*

hehe. i posted first, i posted first, i post- /e slap ¬¬

*thumbs up*.. with a wide grin.

me likes ur drama Shimmer. looking forward to the next one.

Ravenswing, i am [censored] myself laughing! (*not* literally ¬¬)

i haven't read many posts yet, but this has to be the funnist yet!! ... funny in its truthfulness. :S is that a word? bah i can't be [censored]'d to find out.. me travelling to london yay! i want everyone to know!

okay, you said "a lot of the criticism i have seen is actually quite constructive..." but i am pointing out the one's that *aren't* so constructive.. and i am simply saying what Brick000 clarified.. "...stop picking up on 'slight' mistakes" and quit flattening the peiece of work.

I *would* quote Zortel's rather intimidating review on Ryther's story but i feel its been quoted enough... just look at the man's reaction to what he or she said..

[ QUOTE ]
yeah i know i suck at story writing...

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now tell me if what she said *encouraged* him or rather made him feel [censored].

think about it. ... and thats basically what i'm trying to put an end to. it's got to stop.

on a lighter note...

this morning i read Captain_Morgan's response to my very first posted story and he gave a *proper* and *constructive* critism. and to be honest.. it has made an *awesome* start to my day. cheers again Captain. *shuts an eye, twists his mouth to a corner and says "Aye 'aye" with a jolly thumbs-up.

YAY! finally, someone that understands my points. *dances a hapy dance* cheers Brick.

have a g'day

hehe!! cheers.

hmm.. someone *does* care.

ur right. to be honest, i'd completely fogotten that he should to sound more intellectual. *smacks head*

seen as you've mention it.. i will take some time, apply your advice and write more.

i'm off to london now.. finally! the ISP here at uni is [censored]. once i get home i'll have a look around the Creative threads and maybe post a couple of stuff. *thinks on this*

hehe! cheers.

will do... captain

Now I'm confused.. isn't it easier to 'RE: name' to the specific person the reply is for? According to you _Max_ Wonka said this to Brtanic:

[ QUOTE ]
I have to revisit Birdy's point and twist slightly... Is this British or English? The two do not mean the same thing

[/ QUOTE ]

perhaps it was accidental, but he RE: this post to me. ?? :/ ??

and I'm pretty sure this was meant for me:

[ QUOTE ]
Wonka was asking the question to Red_Saint, not to Britanic, as he was referring to Ravenswings's post. (Whom we shorten to Birdy at times)

[/ QUOTE ]

but u've posted it as RE: Britanic ?? :/ ??

Prior to the birth of Vixen, Marcus was your average genius. He enjoyed archery and practiced bio-engineering at the expert level. However, this was not his destiny. In April, 2002 Marcus entered a Bow & Arrow sports tournament at the Talos Island Coliseum and had progressed to the finals when a Tsoo archer approached him, flanked by a mob of Crane Enforcers, Sorcerers and Ancestor Spirits. Civil was attacked, brutally beaten to the point of death. His injuries were fatal and both his arms were subsequently amputated.

While he was disabled, Dr Marcus Civil hated himself for having been so defenceless, powerless and unable to protect himself. Thus, he began work on a series of devices that could somehow be concealed within an arrow and activated upon impact. He called it the 'Trick Arrow'. Sadly, the inventor had no arms to experiment his new arrows with, so of course, he designed himself a mechanical pair.

Inevitably, these were to be extraordinary; Marcus discovered a formula which exploits the weak points in the Laws of gravity as we know it - it proved that by compressing a specific mathematical level of kinetic and electrical energy into a metallic component, one could channel that energy and use it to manipulate a gravitational field around anything it hits.

Paragon City Headlines - "In his search for materials, Dr Marcus Civil of 'Civil Laboratories' has meddled in the affairs of the Clockwork King. The renowned bio-engineer and sportsman is under allegations of using metals belonging to the clockwork menace. Although he denies all knowledge, the Clockwork King has already set out for his capture..."

By the time of the clockwork affairs, Marcus had sold his London home and applied to 'stay' in Paragon City. His mechanical marvel was completed; the single prototype had however, exhausted his entire company funding. He depended wholly on the profits of mass-production and the US army was already showing interest.

Unfortunately, disaster struck! It was at this critical moment that the Clockwork King found and destroyed Civil Headquarters. The miniscule machines tyred their way into Civil's lab and helicoptered to his secret workroom. His plans were stolen and his project sabotaged.

Rage and fury drove the doctor wild. All hope was lost, his dreams vanished and his arms were all he had left. It was September 2003 and his death had been ordered by the Clockwork King. Now mingling with the Lost in Perez Park, Marcus caught word of the approaching doom. He turned to his new found companions and begged for their allegiance. But they simply laughed, "King want your head, you already dead!" rhymed Headman Rifleman as he spat to the ground and turned away.

The time was near; he heard the winding gears of a dozen Sprockets and the chopping blades of Prototype Oscillators closing in from the skies. So he sat, arms wrapped around his knees prepared for his end. "I guess this is it. Good guys do die young indeed. I have nothing to live for anyway" he muttered, as he stared down at his craftsmanship, glistening in the brilliant sunlight. "What are you looking at!" spat Marcus, for a vixen had trotted over and settled by his side, glaring. "A squad of pesky clockwork will fry you to ashes with a thousand volts of electric blasts in minutes if you don't MOVE..." his voice trailed off as he heard his own words, ”What sense is there in sitting, waiting to die?" he asked himself.

"NO!" he exclaimed, now staring into the fox's eyes, [i]

An apartment block seemingly derelict in the east-end of Kings Row. Through broken windows and shattered glass, two hooded figures could barely be made out. They stood, talking. The male voice was cold and unremorseful, even the way he stood gave an air of arrogance.

“The name is Jackson, but you can call me Claw’. Didn’t have much of a chance to get acquainted last time, did we?

“You know, a long time ago I was nothing, quite literally. I was the 'ordinary' little boy in a mutant family. My brothers saw me as a freak and pretended I never even existed. My father, the great Knight of Old Oxford still doesn't know my name. My mother spent all her time in the netherworld, teaching little Dante how to do magic. I had twin brothers with naturally opposing mutations; Jason had ice in his genes and Sinn could throw fire – they never stopped fighting. Pious, the illusionist, he was invisible but they could see him right through me.

“Eventually, I ran away. Left the Row, and wondered the streets of Eastgate for a while. Surprisingly, the trolls took me in and saw me as one of them. They fed me up to my nose with superadine and now I regenerate so fast, I can barely feel pain. Till today, I regret helping Grendel 'decorate' "The Hollows" but hey, I was young and foolish.

“I developed a thirst for street fighting and a strong urge to prove myself, to champion the most powerful. When I began to loath the Outcast for no apparent reason, it became clear that I’d spent far too long amidst the Trolls; ugly green dimwits were defiantly not in my chapter. I needed bigger schemes and new challenges but quiting the group wasn’t easy. Atta had me fight Frostfire and I lost on several occasions. Frosty alone taught me many defensive skills, including one I like to call ‘Integration’.

“At any rate, defeating the Outcasts’ elite boss earned me my ticket out of Eastgate. I travelled through Talos and headed for Brickstown; I'd heard of this organization called Hero Corps, thought maybe they could help me become a hero just like Sinn and Pious, Mum and Dad, but I was wrong. I was deceived. Hero Corps fitted me with a glistening steel skeletal framework and sent me on trial. They put me in charge of a group of equally stupid teenagers and sent us to "Steal or Destroy Acton 88". That's where I met you. I killed you doctor, but you didn't die.

Jackson waits expectantly for a response but she said nothing. He carried on.

“So here I am Anna, still a Paragon Protector. I've risen in rank since we last met; I am now a Lieutenant, an assassin. You are leader of this so called ‘Covenant’ and my mission is to wipe you all out.

"Vixen fell to my claws, Y.Freeza couldn't avoid his demise and I killed Xyneohp outright. I've read up on you Anna. You call yourself Delta T because the Acton 88 chemical made you... I made you. [Jackson smirks] How does that make you feel Anna?

Jackson waits again, to no response

Answer me!

He lunges at her, claws outstretched

okay. here goes nothing... ah wait. i'll start my own thread. forgoten this is Ryther's. Mine'll be .. Paragon Protector or somink along those lines.

Lets hear the rest of you story Ryther. me like. troll funny.

jajajajaja

sorry not britanic, i meant Red_Saint. he said it, ask him.

i *could* have sent that message to him in a PM, but i purposly posted it up front so everyone can see.

i admit it was rather negative, but that what i felt like saying... it does really tick me off when so many people consider it necessary to pile critism when the first post pretty much gives always covers everything.. my first few posts wear 'critised' so many times i felt ganged up on. even today i'm still a little intimidated.

i'm all for creative writing! i do alot of it myself but my early posts got the same criticism over and over again. when something's already been said and people prolong the thread with re-worded or re-phrased versions of the same criticism, it only discourages.

bahh! i tried so hard not to type this up. now it's all prolly gonna kick off... i'm off to write up something. i'll post it and see how i get burned.

Dude, the people on here will fry you with criticism if you dare post a story.. i *always* hesitate to even stuff myself because i KNOW it'll get fried.

watch how they'll burn this one.

[mutters] bunch of intimidating x$^£+**&!

i dunno. dont ask me Wonka. ask Britanic.. he said 'british so i'm guesing he's generalising the nationales of britain: england, wales, scotland and n. ireland.

jee >:

Hmm.. the Alpha Squadron Duo are a military unit, they'd have been glad to help do this 'investigation' with guns ablaze and devices at hand... but they too serve on the Defiant.

After all this reading on a proposed investigation, i've become rather curious as to what it actually concerns.. specifically. please let me know.

The Oxford Knight and The Oxford Scythe are both willing to disband from the House of Hunter and sign up to... what's this British SG called again?

Anyway. send an in-game email to Pious Hunter or send me a PM and we can talk about invites and times hours of RP. i often enjoy a spot of low-level roleplay inbetween the tedious Peregrine Island missions.

This depends on the Commander, but perhaps P.P.E (Planetary Peace Force) RPSG could offer a coalition to ur British SG.

I enjoy roleplaying Lieutenant Lexmarc plenty but I'll see where the brothers of Old Oxford takes me. Is that okay?

-----------------------------------------------

woops. I think i've accidentally selected the wrong person to 'reply to'.. my bad. This isn't for ShadowGhost, its for Red_Saint.

Commander, this is Lieutenant Lexmarc replying to your post. Thank you for the recent promotion. I will do my best to recruit local super-powered sir.

Notice: Any heroes interested can also send an in-game email to Lexmarc in case the Commander is away.

PS: Beware, the Commander is not human! [Whispers] The Katzenathians have tails :O

lol

Darn!! I missed it! Han well. Next time.

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From now on, I'll be sure to not ask anything.

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ROFL!!