Hmm, I think my comments on your PP story probably count for this one as well. A promising tale, with some quirks that can be ironed out. In this case the plot is very good, and 'feels' real, but the dialogue is not of the same standard. As an educated, even genius intellect, Marcus doesn't sound as intelligent as he should (IMHO). Pacing is better here, but there are some sentences where you try to say too much in one go. Try breaking them into smaller sentences, it will make them more interesting, easier to read, and improve the pacing of the piece.
Some definite potential here, I look forward to your next story/installment.
hehe!! cheers.
hmm.. someone *does* care.
ur right. to be honest, i'd completely fogotten that he should to sound more intellectual. *smacks head*
seen as you've mention it.. i will take some time, apply your advice and write more. 
i'm off to london now.. finally! the ISP here at uni is [censored]. once i get home i'll have a look around the Creative threads and maybe post a couple of stuff. *thinks on this*
Not bad, reads fairly well (I haven't yet read the other story to compare) in terms of understanding what's going on. At times you could go into more detail with the events in your character's life, in terms of illiciting emotion from the reader.
The story is very much a "Marcus did this, then this happened to him, so he did this." I'd have been more interested in seeing how losing his arms effected him emotionally, how he had the resources to build his new arms and his technology to give him his abilities, that sort of thing.
Those are primarily stylistic issues, and can be worked on and developed. The story isn't fantastic, but has potential. It's more a background summary than a story in and of itself.
Some things did jar me a bit, though. You don't give us your character's full name, and then refer to him by both his first and last names at different points, which is at first quite confusing. I'd again also like to have seen some details about why he's an "average genius," which is something of a throwaway comment, as though it's simply thrown in there as an excuse for why he can build his equipment. Indeed, nothing he does seems to take any real effort. It all seems to be very easy for him, and readers won't sympathise with a character who is not challenged.
You mention that his injuries were "fatal," which clearly does not fit. If his injuries had been fatal, he'd be dead.
Also, why name a male hero Vixen? 
hehe. wow. wordmaker dude, u took the time and read it through didn't ya... sounds like i have alot to do for improvement... :\ .. very well... i'll get on with it
thanks again.
Prior to the birth of Vixen, Marcus was your average genius. He enjoyed archery and practiced bio-engineering at the expert level. However, this was not his destiny. In April, 2002 Marcus entered a Bow & Arrow sports tournament at the Talos Island Coliseum and had progressed to the finals when a Tsoo archer approached him, flanked by a mob of Crane Enforcers, Sorcerers and Ancestor Spirits. Civil was attacked, brutally beaten to the point of death. His injuries were fatal and both his arms were subsequently amputated.
While he was disabled, Dr Marcus Civil hated himself for having been so defenceless, powerless and unable to protect himself. Thus, he began work on a series of devices that could somehow be concealed within an arrow and activated upon impact. He called it the 'Trick Arrow'. Sadly, the inventor had no arms to experiment his new arrows with, so of course, he designed himself a mechanical pair.
Inevitably, these were to be extraordinary; Marcus discovered a formula which exploits the weak points in the Laws of gravity as we know it - it proved that by compressing a specific mathematical level of kinetic and electrical energy into a metallic component, one could channel that energy and use it to manipulate a gravitational field around anything it hits.
Paragon City Headlines - "In his search for materials, Dr Marcus Civil of 'Civil Laboratories' has meddled in the affairs of the Clockwork King. The renowned bio-engineer and sportsman is under allegations of using metals belonging to the clockwork menace. Although he denies all knowledge, the Clockwork King has already set out for his capture..."
By the time of the clockwork affairs, Marcus had sold his London home and applied to 'stay' in Paragon City. His mechanical marvel was completed; the single prototype had however, exhausted his entire company funding. He depended wholly on the profits of mass-production and the US army was already showing interest.
Unfortunately, disaster struck! It was at this critical moment that the Clockwork King found and destroyed Civil Headquarters. The miniscule machines tyred their way into Civil's lab and helicoptered to his secret workroom. His plans were stolen and his project sabotaged.
Rage and fury drove the doctor wild. All hope was lost, his dreams vanished and his arms were all he had left. It was September 2003 and his death had been ordered by the Clockwork King. Now mingling with the Lost in Perez Park, Marcus caught word of the approaching doom. He turned to his new found companions and begged for their allegiance. But they simply laughed, "King want your head, you already dead!" rhymed Headman Rifleman as he spat to the ground and turned away.
The time was near; he heard the winding gears of a dozen Sprockets and the chopping blades of Prototype Oscillators closing in from the skies. So he sat, arms wrapped around his knees prepared for his end. "I guess this is it. Good guys do die young indeed. I have nothing to live for anyway" he muttered, as he stared down at his craftsmanship, glistening in the brilliant sunlight. "What are you looking at!" spat Marcus, for a vixen had trotted over and settled by his side, glaring. "A squad of pesky clockwork will fry you to ashes with a thousand volts of electric blasts in minutes if you don't MOVE..." his voice trailed off as he heard his own words, ”What sense is there in sitting, waiting to die?" he asked himself.
"NO!" he exclaimed, now staring into the fox's eyes, [i]