airhead

Standing within the Mists, Arc ID 209473, @Liberal Conspiracy

Although recommended for 16-40, I will try with Darth Somnia, level 4 Dominator, mind/elec, difficulty 1.

CONCLUSION: A great arc, great story, recommend to every villain!

The contact certainly comes across as an addict seeking information money for her habit. Nice work.

Council in a warehouse - regular stuff. Curiously, two glowies appear very close to the entrance. I blast my way through to the third. Not much dialog going on, but clues are well described. Mission completed.

I know from this forum and the arc description that I plan to steal an urn, and now having an explosive may help. Normally I imagine the story starting at the first introduction by the contact, I just need to get my head around this bigger picture approach. Perhaps a popup on exiting the first mish could remind me of this greater objective.

Again, I like the contact. Poor thing.

Arc starts interesting, with a little ambush. I find a place for my explosives, and I'm done. A bit more dialog going on here, good atmosphere of an office.

More great contact dialog, then I'm off to detonate the explosive. From the clue, sounds like it worked perfectly! Time to go for the urn, I guess. I'm guessing I might be in a green fog office next...

Again, the contact doesn't let me down. Heh. Way to be an evil sod.

My final destination looks familiar... Great tooons, all with that recently-bombed, recently bioweaponed look. I make it a fair way in, before lag gets me killed. Blah. Returning, goes well, eventually getting my trophy!

And a great signoff by the contact.

Excellent souvenir. I'd imagined the contents of the urn would have been rendered useless by vulnix that got in through a crack, or perhaps it leaked into the carpet. Instead, I get to feel outrageously successful!

Great arc, thanks. 5 stars.

I played this with my usual all-purple level 50 mind/ff controller on level 1 difficulty. I might have a chance; I might not.

M1 introduction title in dark purple is very hard to read.

Contact starts with assumption I've offered to help. But not knowing the premise, I prefer to make that offer at the "Accept" stage.

M1 intro: egyptian -> Egyptian

Crey at level 50 are particularly boring - all various shades of power tanks. Cleared three floors of them without so much as a patrol banter. Nothing interesting happens at all until the ambush AFTER the mission is done. It was interesting that the ambush was exactly one of each card suit. The ambush text, "DEAL WITH THESE HEROES", suggests I'm not alone, although I am. It's the only line of text spoken in the mission and it's utterly cryptic - who is not even here? The exit popup suggests 'who' was Kinetic Tut, the contact.

Kaison diamond: capable of devastating -> capable of a devastating
Kaison diamond: and melee prowess -> and the melee prowess
Kaison club: mass produced -> mass-produced

M1 return: aparently -> apparently

The second mission intro gives a detailed exposition of the bad guy. Perhaps could break into two paragraphs. For some reason, we're still chasing the cartouche - even though we know it was taken only to lure Kinetic Tut into a trap, and has no magical properties? That doesn't make sense. So what was the glowie I clicked on in mission 1, if not the cartouche? I'll accept the mission anyway. It says 'Nothing we can't handle', so I will be the royal 'we'.

Again the mission title in dark purple is very hard to read.

The send-off text provides a lame excuse for the supposedly heroic Kinetic Tut to not assist me in my mission. Unless Kinetic Tut is a deliberately lame hero, perhaps come up with a more convincing reason not to get involved. He can't really be in Cairo - he'll be here when I get back from my mission. The 'busy' text is a good reminder of my impending battle.

The mission turns out to be an outdoor map. Wasn't really expecting that, although the organic nature of the target was perhaps my clue. I turn on my /bind to select "Seed" and bounce around until I find it. I assume it has mind/plant type powers, but since I put everything to sleep I will never know. It was probably a boss, converted to lieutenant since I was on the lowest difficulty. That part I don't mind at all. The villain's dialog reminds me I am just a lackey for Kinetic Tut - that's true, I wish I wasn't. There is another ambush-after-the-mission-is-already-done. Finally, the villain suggests this is just a diversion. So back to the contact. Yet - the exit text suggests I got the cartouche back! I did? By clobbering a metal plant?

The contact correctly says on my return, "Forget the cartouche". But I had! This is perhaps what some reviewers call the "Idiot Ball", where I'm chasing something I already know isn't worth anything, but I have to be foolish and just play along.

The title of the third mission is a very readable orange.

Mission 3 intro suggests again that the Seed of Kaison was just a distraction. Seems that bonding organic metal to a thorny mass, hitting it with radiation and more is quite an elaborate way to make just a distraction - but perhaps it was an experiment gone wrong, perhaps that's why it was left to itself in the woods (although with so many Kaison in those woods, it's hardly abandoned). I guess I'm just trying to rationalize where I am at this point.

So now I have another battle, with some good hints about the impending gameplay in the mission introduction. "We" are on it once more! Oh yeah, a timed mission.

I decide to speed through the mission, clearing only to get the glowies. I confused a King of Diamonds - it slaughters a Kaison Diamond, definitely hard-hitting. The baddie's name makes sense to me, but then I wonder, lots of arcs have decks of cards, such as kings of diamonds. Perhaps it could be Uberkaison Diamond or something else leveraging the kaison title. But as I said, it's okay as it is.

King of Diamonds: origionals -> originals

It tells me to take care of three bookshelves, but these turn out to be incidental goals, and beating Brute Squad frees me from this obligation. Brute squad's description is curious, to say the least. A group of thugs in the employ of a robot-using mastermind. Different.

Kaison brute squad: e is a -> He is a

Back to the contact, and he's finally decided to take part (whatever happened to his Cairo commitment?). Again, good outline of the challenges we are about to face.

Maps throughout are not huge, much appreciated. Also, the ally here is only a LT (perhaps downgraded boss) but has some useful buffs and healing. A good sidekick.

The final map's layout is mindboggling. I encounter the generator and mainframe moments before my ally, all within a few steps of the front door! For a genius, he certainly doesn't know anything about planning a base for good defence. This leaves just the mastermind to go. He's likely on another floor, in a safer place.

As expected (after the last few arcs) the mastermind is protected by a slew of ambushes. I got a bit cocky, and was taken down. Returning, I mass-confused the dense mass of lackeys and let them take themselves out.

Overall, a smooth and thorough arc, with few typos, and consistent plot. A few jarring things (such as the contact's attitude and the cartouche) mentioned above. I'm not sure how, but perhaps you could make someone in this story a more likeable ally, or a more hateable enemy. But quality is definitely there - in all the custom critter descriptions, in the attention to all the details (mission titles, busy dialogs) and in the quality of the writing. Using your own rating system, which is similar enough to mine, I give it a 5. If you want to QPQ, you could try my arc in the link below.

Cheers, airhead

MArc # 190,069: 'Captain Dynamic, the Great, Faces The Great Face' - Tryouts

POSTER IMAGE

Here's an opportunity to contribute to the Captain Dynamic phenomenon! If you haven't seen the three awesome Captain Dynamic videos (at www.captaindynamic.com), you should probably check those out first. This is a story involving multiple architects.

Solo-friendly; Complex mechanics; Meta; Heart Felt
3 missions, Medium length, Snakes/Council/Rikti/Custom
Levels 5-50, Heroic, Low-Medium difficulty

This arc explores the personalities of Captain Dynamic and Great Face through their collaborative story-telling. It's only just finished (although someone found it and played it a couple of weeks ago) and I am really looking for feedback.

1. It's a simple story with very complicated execution. Does it make some sort of sense?

2. Can it be funnier (at least in the first two missions)? Of course it can. Will you help me?

3. By the end (including mission 3), how does it make you feel?

3. Should it be more/less challenging? (I've run it solo with 6 different ATs, at levels from 4 to 50).

4. In a word, what is the theme? If I have been too subtle, you might see this as Just a Bunch of Stuff That Happened.

I hope to get some rigorous feedback before I submit this arc to one of the reviewers.

Thanks, airhead

I just ran this arc. I've run it before, on level 2 difficulty. The kill-all that used to be here was only part of my problem - the custom mobs were also extremely hard to beat. Since it was just the one mission, I gave it a good try, and enjoyed slowly picking off the baddies, or at least confusing them into picking each other off. It was a very tough slog, but exciting for the same reason. But every time I'd get almost there, and then my computer or connection would fail, and I'd have to start over.

The latest incarnation of this arc is very different. The contact's dialog is evil, with a definite nasty streak. The baddies are still spooky, often coming from behind (and above, or other well hidden place).

In the past, I could not beat Marius. But with the power adjustments, edits to the arc, and finally succumbing to level 1 difficulty instead of level 2, it was very easy. I guess I didn't need to go that far. Marius still shrugs off everything but fear.

In the end I beat the Blood Djinn. That didn't immediately end the mission, so went after another Dr Death - who was standing next to an invisible swordsman. I had let my guard down, so he wiped me. Then the mission ended - was probably supposed to end 20 seconds earlier. It's good when a horror mission keeps you on your toes.

The nasty messages have me wondering if I find my loved one in part 2, but I guess I need a little more convincing that I do, in fact, love him/her. Mention are all well and good, but perhaps you could find a way to endear me further - although I know this is difficult given the fact players could have any background, and/or gender.

Nice arc. I fived it.

I have no problem with Venture's use of 'Mary Sue'. I've seen the term used outside of fanfic, typically to describe Wesley Crusher. And here we actually have CoH fans, creating fictions! If someone comes up with another term for an Author Insert That Steals the Limelight From the Player, go for it.

To 37, the reasons Venture's famous/infamous is because he was one of the earliest reviewers for MA. Venture being there from 'the beginning' could be defined as making him a deity. But I'm being facetious.

Venture is also very hardworking, which I think the devs appreciate. Venture's style is often divisive, which provides entertainment. That's fine by me. Venture once made a review personal, so he's not perfect. I'd like to imagine he is still improving too.

I appreciate every one of the reviewers on Lazarus' reviewer-list-post, and all those unrecognized reviewers getting lost in the thread-pile. Keep up the great work all!

Calling it "Chapter 1" in the title may turn players away, perhaps at least wait til player has opened up the arc description.

Arc description says the upcoming contact is the 'strangest' because of its looks, but also because it asks for me/player? That's not necessarily strange. The arc description also suggests this is a team mission. That's potentially limiting your audience (at least with most of the reviewers seeking solo-able arcs), you might suggest soloing on level 1 (although the last AV is impossible even then for me).

Impressive-looking contact. It's a neutral arc and I've been asked to save the hatchery. As a hero, I might baulk at this. As a villain, I might too, having grown up on snake massacres. As a neutral (mercenary?) I might need a bit more coaxing as to how contact will 'make it worth my while'. There's a gem of a reason on the 'sendoff' screen, but that's only after I 'accept' the first mission.

Not your fault, but the two eggs spawned exactly on top of each other. The two egg rescues have exactly the same dialog. Suggest you break into two separate objectives so you can add some variety. Nice small map. Rapidly cleared objectives (my difficulty=1). The exit popup reminds me of my confusion, why am I there - I don't know. Honestly, I would have rather not start the mission, since I'm a hero.

I got a clue that summarises the first mission nicely. But it ties my current contact's objectives to 'my most recent contact' who could be anyone (previous mission, I presume). This is very confusing, perhaps simply remove the concept.

Mission 2 intro is still vague, but at least it is much more convincing, as much as a precognitive snake can be. Objectives are straightforward, target has a suitable name. The mission turns out especially simple, no side objectives, no non-essential objectives (so perhaps a little dull). The target's dialog is interesting, aside from the unaware comment, which just seemed confusing. Target seems to know I'm a Controller... but then the Clue says he has never heard of me! This doesn't seem to make sense. But a nice, small map.

At this point, I find it most intriguing that there's a sort of strata of precogs within multiple villain groups, and they compete. I am willing to suspend my heroic ideals and pursue these strange goals just to find out if that's true. Unfortunate that the last precog was a fake...

Mish 3 gets a little more convincing (in part because I've gotten this far) and I'm off again to a cave. Turns out to be a cave I haven't seen, very interesting. Also has custom mobs, but my fears are not realised on 1 difficulty (which is fine by me). Very nice, complete descriptions on the critters. Lots of dead-end glowies in this, especially compared with previous mission. Found the right one, which leads to an unannounced ambush. Could add some dialog there. The target turns out to have a very short description that doesn't tell me anything. If I have a named target, I'd imagine he's relevant in some way? The return message doesn't clear anything up, but does end in a nice other-language chant... The map here was nice, but bigger than the 'small' map you claim above.

and mish 3 didn't take the direction I thought it might.

Mission 4 gives me an unusual request for 'accepting' which I really do like. Sendoff text is a difficult color to read against the darker green background of the AE building. I've rather forgotten that I'm a hero at this point, and I'm happy to go kill a snake that apparently wants me to kill it. I find a Big Bad, who is very big and bad, and I eventually beat it (not easy though - would expect something like this more at the end of mission 5). He does have some intriguing dialog.

Mission 5 sendoff threatens me with death should I give up now - only this is unlikely to be achievable in MA. The Rudalak cave is hardly 'small', it takes quite a while to reach the cult leader. There is no dialog at all until you reach him, and then he speaks a strange language. I am not able to make any meaningful impact on him, so I have wasted a lot of time with this. I cannot rate it. If I could beat him (and it somehow explained the cult-that-had-no-purpose) then it could be a 4 if most of the issues I had were fixed.

[ QUOTE ]
Typos:
Arc Description: strangest character -> strangest characters
Mish 1 Intro: there's a space after my name ($name) ; landsmass -> landmass
than involve you and me : not sure what you meant here. "that involve you and me"? Why does it involve me/player?
Mish 1 Sendoff: impeding -> impending
Mish 1 Battle dialog: until champion -> until our champion
Mish 1 Exterm dialog: Interestering -> Interesting
Clue A weird confession: Had -> had ; arachnos -> Arachnos
Clue A strange situation: impeding -> impending
Mish 2 entry popup: knuckles, is -> knuckles, it is
Mish 3 intro: impeding -> impending ; Intoxicating -> intoxicating
Forsaken desc: ocassion -> occasion ; mostrousity -> monstrosity
Faithful desc: This -> These
inscribed tablet (complete text): indecriphable -> indecipherable
Deep Spawn desc: bizzare -> bizarre
Clue from altar: remove the word 'Anyway' as redundant
Whisperer desc: it -> he
Mish 3 return text: dechiper -> decipher ; hailsss -> hail
Mish 4 entry popup: on -> in
Antediluvian desc: irradiates -> radiates
Glyph covered book: glyph-covered ; book.This -> book. This ; obsidian like -> obsidian-like
Mish 4 exit popup: places -> place
Mish 5 intro: it'sss -> itsss ; exerprt -> exerpt
Mish 5 sendoff: it really -> there really ; conssider -> conssiderss
Enlightened: absulote -> absolute; fear is very the air -> fear is the very air
Lurker: Bizzare -> bizarre ; doesn't -> don't ; depts -> depths ; He uses its sword -> It uses its sword


[/ QUOTE ]
In a detailed arc, that's not a lot of typos really, and I imagine you'll have them fixed very fast.

You're welcome to review my arc (in my sig below), it's had a review before but hasn't been played since I fixed the issues found then (two weeks ago).

Cheers, airhead

Nerf the comm officers. If the XP is based on pets that don't appear, then the XP shouldn't be there. Or should be there at about 10% of what it is now (estimate of number of portals that might appear in a big mob). If the system supports it, make XP dependent on number of minions summoned. Or move the XP back to the minions.

I know the farmers will just go on to the next best solution, but that can be addressed at that time. Farming outside the AE seems pretty lame in my experience, but I'm sure it took time and iterations to get to that point.

The current farming has led to an abundance of tickets that has brought down the cost of high-end recipes and dried up the otherwise massive amounts of some recipe ingredients (not sure why the expensive ingredients got cheaper though). Salvage is interesting again, for marketeers. Perhaps it is a better world now, just need to ensure the rewards are not just for farmers.

Arc 4643: Blowback @Venture (Hah! I just got it. Oops)

Tried this with my usual purpled level 50 Mind/Forcefield guy.

The first mission has a nice, compact, multi-level lab map. Humanizing patrol commentary, so I let those two guys live. On the next floor the patrol commentary is even better. But my policy changes when opening a door gets me stunned; lack of attention to my messy inspiration box gets me defeated. I go back in and sneak through the objectives instead.

The second mission looks onerous, on a large map, but with a good macro to latch onto names it goes reasonably quickly. The big-bad scares me, but turns out to be mezzable.

The third mission has a cool title for Latinophiles (yeah, yeah, so -phile is Greek). The mission itself runs smoothly. By dint of my random approach to the problem, Blue Avenger is the last person I meet, so the mission takes longer, but good tickets. The clues continue to keep the story clear.

The story continues fairly predictably into mission 4. Predictable because the narrative has been smooth, not because the plot is lame! The seemingly large collection has a twist, which is much appreciated. The big-bads are tricky, as Malta often are, but after several minutes they go down.

Mission 5! It looks like a well-laid-out complex battle. I explore some elements, then go in after Ja'dar. He hits very hard. Unfortunately there's no room to run around, so all I can hope to do is mez him. He mezzes, then the little purple triangles of give-up-already appear. After spending so long on this arc, I hate to walk away. I spend a little time looking for an ally. None, but the Malta fight the Rikti. I then spend 30 minutes trying to get Ja'dar and the Malta EB to fight. Nope, they completely ignore each other. I even Mass Confuse the Malta's pets, but that doesn't inspire Ja'dar to fight back. I have to assume Ja'dar is on the same side as the Malta. What seemed like a last great ray of hope turned out to be a nasty joke.

In the end, I'd have voted this only a 4 for the unbeatable AV-EBs. But after seeing the arc's current voting status, I made it a 5, since it's definitely not a 3. I'm hoping you'll find a fix for the Malta-Rikti thing so 5 makes sense.

Cheers, airhead

[ QUOTE ]
My reviewing style may seem petty, with careful attention to typos. But no. Being OCD, finding a typo makes me happy, not sad. This time I am putting the typos out of the way at the end where they probably belong.

Mission 1 pop-up: could put a period on the end of the sentence.
Mission 1 Nav: 4 equipment to confiscate -> pieces of equipment?
Mission 3 intro: targetted -> targeted ; attack staged from -> attack was staged from ; out, any means -> out, by any means
Mission 3 Captured Citizen: says '$himher' (you could just say: ...unless freed.)
Bluehawk's Story Clue: first paragraph ends with 4 periods, should be 3?


[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]

I don't know what would make them "interesting" to you so nothing I can do about that.

[/ QUOTE ]
Sorry about that, I sounded glib. I meant: The contact provides information, and the allies follow along, but I don't get a sense of their personalities, anything quirky about them.

You could again say that you don't have enough text space left to do this. One less custom toon would give you a lot to work with, but would require a sacrifice.

Since Midnight Rider just missed Hell O Ween's queue, and HOW suggested others can review, I will jump to the conclusion that I might review this. Midnight, I hope you don't mind. If it's not what you're looking for, you could submit it again when someone has an open queue.

Dark Ast(r)oria Unleashed #58376 @Midnight Rider
(There is the above typo in your Arc title on the server)

Evil, enchanted souls have escaped from Dark Astoria, hell-bent on ruling the living world. It is your mission to contain the outbreak and seal them back where they belong.
(I added 2 commas and a hypen to your arc description)

5 missions, all 1-54 level range. No 'defeat-all' goals, yay.

I'm taking this on with my souped-up lv50 mind/FF controller.

Mish 1: Titled, "Find the book" (need to capitalize Book), I am asked if I can help find the cause of a strange energy. So I am assuming it will be a book. Perhaps the mission title could be more ambiguous, or the dialog more succinct.
Mish 1 subtitle: DA Unleashed? - perhaps spell out Dark Astoria, slightly confusing otherwise.
Titles and subtitles can be clearer in slightly larger font and/or color, but that's a style choice.
Introduction tells me, now leave. I don't have a very clear picture of what's happening, except through the title.
Mish 1 entry popup: This is a statement, not a question, rephrase or drop the question mark.
The place I've arrived in doesn't strike me as being Dark Astoria, perhaps the reason or transition could be alluded to somewhere.
The patrol dialogs on the other hand are much more informative, which is good.
I find a bluff book glowie. Good, I keep looking. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. Eventually I find the book!
You've used $himher and $name in an unaware enemy (mish 1 patrol) dialog. This doesn't work seem to work, perhaps because the patrol isn't aware of me. Nonetheless, your attention to the patrol comments continues to help me follow the plot. Good.
The ancient book Clue should be two sentences: You ... you for. You also found some very strange ghosts!
Nothing in the mish helps explain why I'm in a nice-looking building that doesn't look like Dark Astoria. Even the patrols thought it was unlike Dark Astoria. Perhaps this can be clarified somehow during the mission or the Clues.
Taking a moment to review the custom critters: they're good! Surprisingly not over-the-top, with good costumes, reflection effects, and powers. They really do feel more like an in-game critter set, rather than overpowered custom jobs.

Mish 2, similar purpose (strange energies), and map. Will look for Princess Skuld, mentioned as controlling the spirits in the last mission's minion descriptions. This time I arrive to find I'm rescuing captives.
Mish 2 entry popup provides good atmosphere. It's breezier than usual for an office.
The captives have fun names. At first I wasn't sure if it was relevant to the plot.
Skuldians Clue: zombie-like (add hyphen)

Mish 3 intro: If your -> If you're ; human like -> human-like (or humanoid?)
Very nice Accept string! This is a bit of style. I happily accept this mission.
Mish entry popup: need a comma after Lord.
The Navigation text is a short, complete sentence. This is unusual, and great, very readable. I think I need to consider this in my own missions.
I meet a recently converted citizen, Battered Bones, and I understand now where the attention to detail went in this arc. I rescue a citizen, not even an objective, but a great way for me to exercise my heroic muscles.
I decide to run past the next few enemies, since they don't change much, and I haven't seen any more citizens. I find the evil princess, and her description made me laugh. "The most feared of...is the most feared." Not sure if that is intentional. I am clobbered, and run away. I search around quickly in case there's an ally who might help me battle her, but no luck. I Mass Confuse several Boney people, but they don't help much. In the end, she cuts me down without trying very hard, after I barely scratch her. I have to think hard about tactics here. Normally I'd strike and run, but there's far too many obstacles. Perhaps I can use the loop in the map. She runs VERY fast, I don't think I'll get more than one shot. But I'll try. My last review got me 200+k debt, and I still hadn't cleared that when I got to this. I'm feeling pretty low. But this is a review, I need to keep going!
And I did. I carefully cleared lots of minions, then used joust-and-run tactics - shoot, long jump the charging opponent, shoot, jump, shoot... and suddenly I could chain-hold her. This indicates she's not a scaled-down AV, but a true EB. I am so happy. I win.
Converted Citizens Clue: zombie-like (add hyphen)
The contact rightly guessed I looked a bit frazzled when I returned, cute!

Mission 4: need comma after my name ($name).
Oh man, your accept message is spot-on: Your sense of humour should help get some people down into those CoT caves. An excellent choice of map in any case, interesting but small. The collections are pretty dense, more fun to collect. Your use of the singular/plural forms on the Nav info is very nice to see. That was a fun search.
Entry popup: As usual, cold... (add comma)

Mission 5: and another nice Accept message.
I will have 5 magical tomes that represent a pentagram. If they actually lie in that pattern, I'll be hugely impressed! Then I have a big-bad. Ominous... hopefully not another incomplete arc for me.
An ally! But he is not aware of me yet, and addresses me as $name. You'll need to fix that.
Galamundorf is using a storm power to push away enemies even before he's rescued. I hadn't seen that before.
And what a battle it was! Without having to worry too much about tactics (Gal' did that part) I just needed to stay alive and contribute.

Felt like a real team fight. We ended up in the hole, falling onto the 5th of the glowies. So overall, very fun even though it was quite short. The 'pentagram' ended up being 4 glowies in a row next to Gal' and big-bad, and one at quite a distance

In summary:

The arc proved fairly straightforward in plot, and rarely had side-goals (although the mission 3 citizens were a nice touch). The combat was good, with custom critters in line with in-game mobs, and final villains that could reasonably be soloed (inevitably, this isn't necessarily true for all ATs). There were touches of brilliance in the dialog, and hopefully my rambling review above helps find some of those, that you might put in more. The contact is pretty cut-and-dried, perhaps you could imbue him with more of a personality. And ultimately make me want to care for the folks I am rescuing / stealing for. I think if you fine-tune this, it becomes a 4. With some creative additions to the overall adventure, perhaps more. For now, I'd say it's a 3 - but surely it is early stages for its development.

Cheers, airhead

The Portal Service. #3326 @Lazarus

I understand color titles is a style preference. Perhaps you could still make it scale 1.1 (not 1.2 which is huge) to separate it from your paragraphs?

Good SOLID introduction. I'm in. Not too much to think about. Bad guys, beat em up, additional help will come, yep, got it.
Typo in Nagan Brawler: enschews -> eschew (some...eschew)
Nagan Talon: weilds -> wields
Nice use of patrols, combat doesn't get dull. Enemy group were not particularly intriguing, but well balanced and described.
Portal Corp Scientist: ...I've been hostage... -> ...I've been held hostage...
Portal Schematics Clue: they were downloading (presumably cannot be done remotely? My entrance was by portal activated remotely)
Kaon tends to run in where I fear to tread. So far so good, while I wait for Mass Confuse to recharge, there's a steady stream of defeat messages.
Ooh! The big-bad has spawned in a cool place. Also allowed me to sneak up on her, ensuring Kaon got involved. Fairly long battle. The Die-alogs matched the situation well. Chasing her at the end was fun. Overalll, mish 1 was good classic fun.

Mish 2 intro: embarrasing -> embarrassing
Mish 2 popup: nice atmosphere in so few words!
Mish 2 Nav: Defeat Takala. Why? I don't think I know any Takala yet.
Missed most Crey-Custom battles, but saw one, so the injured baddies along the way made sense.
Takala's surprise was just that, fled, clawed way back. It had seemed a little too easy... Turned out to be a very well balanced battle for my Mind/FF controller.
Mish 2 success: a arms -> an arms ; a expert -> an expert
Mission 2 was fun too.

Good solid Mish 3 dialog, flow and purpose.
Mish 3 intro: smalltime -> small-time
Anna N.: millenia -> millennia
Anna speeds up my combats, keeps it from getting dull. But I expect I'm getting complacent. I dodge a few battles, and find Vikki. With unimagined cunning, I pull the EB while my ally takes on everything else instead... seems to work, and soon we're beating on Vikki. She's a runner too (so much more realistic!) but we catch up to her. Not sure where that hammer came fro- POW. I go down, at the same time as Vikki, and I sorta win!
Oh. Anna's Story - she's Vanguard? Perhaps put a wee little bit of Vanguard paraphernalia in her costume?
Mish 3 success: Anna gave me coordinates? I didn't notice that.
But no problems with mission 3.

Into mish 4, looks like more battles ahead.
I managed to save a bunch of Vanguard! But they won't follow me, pfft for that. I get them involved in a battle with a Nagan Engineer anyway, negating all my efforts to save them.
Nagan engineers make an appearance. After the battle at the end of Mish 3, they're just annoying. Perhaps use it as a boss, just once.
Found my ally. He likes to watch the battle for a while first, presumably some kind of Eastern meditation.
This map is HUGE. I have to rush ahead, which means my ally won't be there at the end. It's okay, he tends to just watch anyway.
Big bad has gotten bigger/badder since I last met her. Not sure why. I battle her for an hour, get her close to gone, using all my Accolades, but eventually run out of inspirations. In the time it takes to get all the way back thru the biggest map in the game, she's half-healed, and it starts all over again (without Accolades). Eventually I give up, take my 200K debt and leave. 1 hour for missions 1-3, and 1 hour for mission 4.

A very solid 4. There's really nothing wrong with it at all, if you're in a team, aside from that over-large map. But without some interesting characters, or other unusual elements, I don't think it's quite ready for a 5.

I know you've got what it takes to add sparkle, reading these other reviews, so I leave it to you!

//airhead

Anything is possible.

Arc 1144 (shameless plug, sorry) starts with a no-enemies mission. I expect there are other maps where most/all spawns can be replaced with patrols/bosses which are only spawned once a non-combat goal is completed. Look for maps with lots of patrols/bosses allowed compared to the map size. At the least, you can keep the number of "fist-wavers" to a minimum.

Using a lot of bosses (a "boss" can be just another minion, doesn't need to be an AV) you can control the animations of the enemies and the boss, to avoid fist-punching. I have had a little trouble getting boss animation to work in some cases, but I can get the surrounding group doing all kinds of stuff if they don't have better things to do (like power up defences upon spawning).

An ambush of unique enemies is harder, since an ambush is a group. Size and makeup of group will depend on player's difficulty setting and team size, which you cannot assume.

An obtuse "single AV ambush" would be to have the AV as an escort that "Betrays on Arrival" - and starts attacking when you get him to the door. That's pretty limited scope of storylines.

Thanks RoadsideWolf, this is an awesome review! By writing as train-of-thought, I can see where and why things might not have made sense. It is taking some major editing to update it (changing the toon's name in 78 different places...) but I hope to address everything. I'll update later in my feedback thread linked in my sig.

Again, really awesome review. Thanks so much.

A MA arc poster 1 column wide. Thanks for suggesting the cross-post in the arc posters thread!

THE PRISM by @Sooner #49801

I guess I reviewed one already reviewed, but my comments are not really about the combat, so quite different to Lord_D. Hopefully useful.

The arc started very well, seems I’m to be a consumer watchdog, helping a school teacher figure out why the supply of glass prisms has dried up. Sounds heroic, and low key, I like that. Easy to empathise with Mrs Brewster. The mission title is slightly difficult to read, indigo-color, but the logic of that becomes a little clearer later with the progression of mission titles.

But then Mrs Brewster knows of a stockpile of prisms at a Council office facility. How might she know that? She is a teacher. Council presumably don’t advertise. And why would they have glass prisms? None of these were really answered for me.

The moment I arrive at the Council office facility I am aware I must defeat Vermillion. Who is Vermillion? I am blindly following my Navigation display, not even knowing who programmed it.
I finally find Vermillion, and her description says she is first in line working for Prism! So I know the archvillain (or villain group) – but subsequent clues suggest I shouldn’t really know that yet.

Vermillion is collecting prisms for Ms. Boebrieght. This spelling becomes Boebright later on, need to figure out which to use consistently.

Four other colors arrive in ambush while I am fighting Vermillion, but their attacks are not excessive so I finish off Vermillion. These other colors work for Prism too, they wish they were primary colors... okay, but how do I know that? I know CoH often puts unknowables into minion descriptions.
Returning to teacher Brewster, I’m sent to find “files” since “someone must keep files”. Even more astonishingly, I arrive at a Arachnos place where my Nav says “Find files”. This is far too many logic leaps to be believable.

I find a filing cabinet. I find many, but it’s not clear if I’m nearing my goal. I suspect you’ve got one cabinet that provides the clue (and the Find message) and several others that are simply not the right one. That’s good, however if you want to number them, simply give all the same Navigation Text (Singular) and (Plural), and the game will automagically combine them for you.

At this point I realise I have TWO clues, both called “The Prism”. This is confusing, I can’t recall where they each come from.
The Prism leader is known as Prismatista in one of the Clues. When I finally meet her she’s called Prismatica, which did make it harder to find her...

The third mission acceptance string says “Ya”. But I don’t talk like that. Also, “I heard about a large group of brightly costumed people entering this building” again is slightly beyond belief.
More colors to fight, all a good fight, nothing too hard, which is good.

But I accidentally (not informed) find Ebony Rose – a notorious Rogue Island villain! Why exactly do I team up with her? I’m not sure that ever gets cleared up.

Lavender Rose Clue says Ms. Boebright, when earlier it was Ms. Boebrieght.

Fourth mission was scary, a huge council map and ten things to find. But the objects are easy enough to spot, and I get it done quickly, escaping before it gets any worse. Note that with a collection of objects, you get the Clue with the first object. So when that Clue says “You have collected all the parts” it is a bit confusing. You might simply say “The parts are... something”.

Fifth mission, and I’m pwned. Multiple times. But with a new batch of inspirations, and a little help from a confused Prism minion, I finally defeated her. Felt good, that the battle was close. I am merely a mind/FF controller. Prismatica’s description spells it Boebright.

I got away with a new Adventurer badge, and 163 k of debt. I enjoyed it though. I’d rate it a 3.5, becoming a 4.5 with some attention to the plot. Ms. Brewster doesn’t say much after the first mish intro, you could work on having more human interest there. Perhaps her omniscient mission sendoffs could be courtesy of her Vanguard husband. Or something.

Nice work! My mission is in my sig below. It's soloable difficulty, Heroic, with Crey, Family, Nictus, and Ratters. Any/all feedback welcome.

This thread provides some great feedback, even for those not being reviewed. I now have a new set of tweaks to make to my own arc before I put it on this chopping block.

[ QUOTE ]
An Aside: For those struggling to keep their arc's level range consistent from mission to mission (specifically, if your mission' level range is too wide): you can always have a Captive whose Enemy Group Difficulty is set to Single (so he'll be alone). Then create a Enemy Group for him (that won't appear, he's single) with that group having the subrange you want.

You could put anything you like in it to define the range, but best keep it simple as it does take up some space. Find an existing group or make a group from as few random minions as possible.

If you don't have need of a captive in the first place, perhaps someone from the Civilians (1-54) set might not be out of place standing around. Or an enemy minion with a reason not to fight. Or something better, that fits with your story.

[/ QUOTE ]

Just played through this arc. The attention to atmosphere, consistent story and the sophisticated navigation updates make the combat flow along very smoothly. Often the Phalanx-related stories are hard to immerse into, but Xenite has done a wonderful job of making it all make sense and giving you a "realistic" purpose. No spoilers from me, I'm still creeped out.

I found this through a chat channel. I'd seen the cool poster, but didn't make the connection that the mish I was in, was this one! (duh). Thanks Xenite!

I made a poster!

More of a zone loading screen. Pretty basic: I used just screenshots, powerpoint and the fansite kit. The arc number, synopsis and POSTER LINK are linked in my sig below, so I won't repeat-spam here.

Nice idea for a thread!