Interesting take on patch notes

Sony's actual Planetside 2 notes

I know some will hate this, but I loved it - in the future I'm sure they will have raw data and numbers, but this had me smiling through the whole thing.

Some excerpts:

"Light Aircraft like the Mosquito, Reaver, or Scythe now start with an External Fuel Tank in the secondary slot to increase afterburner fuel capacity. While some of you may be dismayed at flying around with a container full of explosive material, keep in mind you are statistically more likely to crash into a canyon wall. The explosion just helps us find what's left of you."

"Nano-Armor cloak is now 25% damage resistant at ranks 1-4 and 30% at rank 5. Please keep in mind there is still 70% of that tank round that can remove your spleen. Don't worry though, we can replace it. These things grow on trees. Literally. Spleen tree. Tell your friends."

"The Pitcher Certification is now available meaning you can throw grenades even faster. Maintenance has requested you stop practicing with rocks in the spawn rooms. This is why we can't have nice things."

lol Spleen tree - classic
Nice to see patch notes that actually make you want to read them - most of the time patch notes are "wall of text crits for 500!" or simply tl;dr

Quote:

Originally Posted by Draeth Darkstar I'm still awfully hesitant to give them another cent of my money after SWG though. And suddenly people around here will think I'm a little less crazy-obsessive-grudge-holding for that sentiment. Hah! Oh wait, I just made myself sad again

I still grumble and snarl a bit when I think of what the Combat Upgrade and laughably titled New Game Experience did to Star Wars Galaxies. But I take some comfort in the change of direction and mindset SOE have undergone since 2007. Boss of SOE, John Smedley even had this to say when quizzed in an interview about SWG :-

Quote:

reddit : Can you finally come clean about the decisions that were made regarding SWG? Mainly the CU and NGE? Smedley : Sure. Stupid decisions. Complete and utter fail and I am very sorry. reddit : How does SOE feel about SWGEmu? Smedley : Well officially I have to say it's bad. But that's officially.

On a side note...those Planetside patch notes remind of the public address announcements you used to hear at Foreas Base in Tabula Rasa -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1XXRDHVWGg

- which were, of course, in turn inspired by the base announcements in the film M.A.S.H.

Side note:

CCP normally do slip something similar into their patch notes. Sometimes well hidden, other times just obvious.

Oh, and the occasional meme as well >.>

This is normally for their *major* patch notes though (ie the expansion patch notes).

I still read them when they get released just for this reason (BECAUSE OF FALCON!)

My personal favorite was this one:

Quote:

Originally Posted by PleaseRecycle it has gone from unconscionable to downright appalling that we have no way of measuring our characters' wetness.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brillig It's hard to beat the entertainment value of Whackjob Wednesdays.

Heh - I like the ones that insult the players telling us that stuff was broken because we were doing it wrong.

Heh, posted a video showing a really strange bug we ran into:

Crazy PS2 bug

"The Flash now has a certification for the NFI-2000 Turbo which will temporarily increase its speed. We know you are going to try it because it has the word Turbo in it. Don't worry about the fact you effectively have a small afterburner beneath your crotch. We've tested this thing successfully at least twice, and sometimes the driver didn’t even die."

XD

10/6 notes

Giving examples and showing footage here. Silly Sony!