When is a game "not" just a game to you?

I posted this over on the Steam forums, but I think it'll sum up my feelings here too.

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This is coming on the heels of the abrupt and utterly unexpected closure of Paragon Studios by NCsoft, and the announcement that City of Heroes, the longest-running and most successful Superhero MMO on line is closing by November 30th.

Let me give you a little back story here:

I've been playing City of Heroes for 7+ years, since July of 2004 and with only a couple breaks here and there - mostly due to internet access being cut off. I've watched betas come and go, participated in the 2005 release beta for City of Villains, went through Going Rogue, and all that. I racked up 22 thousand posts on the official COH forums, and gained a lot of real-life friends in the process.

I've been to their meet and greets, even took a driving vacation up to San Jose to their first informal one, before they got more official events going. Went to parties with the devs and other fans during Comic Con. Drank and sang and laughed and played trivia and had costume contests - I even made a costume of my first level-capped character and wore it proudly (if chunkily...).

So the news this morning - posted only hours after the devs themselves had posted new info for the next update Issue - that they're basically shutting the doors NOW and closing the game down before the end of the year... This is a shock to me. I'm in tears, been angry, been sad, worry about the devs and their families...

Because NC is not an American company, they have different values for their decisions. But still - to take the only arguably successful game of its kind off the market *because their other games are putting them financially in the hole* (Aion, GW2 - both feature prominently in their financial decline) seems insane at best, moronic at worst.

City of Heroes, Paragon city, has been my 2nd online home for 7 years. I've watched couples meet, court, and marry - in real life, not just in the game. I've seen friendships grow and fail, I've cyber-sexed for the first and only time there, with someone I'd die to meet in real life. I won't likely get the chance to see many of these people in reality, because we're scattered all around the globe. True, some dozen of them do live within easy distance of my current home. But the bulk of the people I know from this game - from long hours on task forces, teaming and playing mind games with other servers... Those are people I know only through the game, but I know them well.

One's a vet. Another bunch are Veterans. Some are stoners. Others are artists and craft-makers. Some have gone through bad times with their families, some have died. Some have come close to dying. But they've been supported by their network of friends gained through City of Heroes. We all have varied backgrounds and interests, politics and social lives outside of the game, but we have one thing in common, our love for the city which has been our digital retreat all this time.

I'm sure that some folks here are laughing: it's just a game. I hope that you someday grow up and out of that phase, because when you learn that you have friends willing to send you a pillow in the mail to replace one you lost in a house fire, or offer money to someone as they fail to meet their needs... You'll hopefully understand that sometimes it's not "just" a game.

I'm also hoping that there are other similar stories out there - I know that MMOs are often home to some bat-crazy nutters, maybe I'm one of them. But I can't seem to get past the fact that in a couple months, the home that I had lived in, dreamed about, met friends and set a few on ignore, won't even be a desktop icon any more. I don't play other MMOs. I hang here on Steam because when I was unable to get on to COH, Half Life and Portal became my source for digital entertainment. But when I was able to go back, I've felt like I never left. It's a comfortable place.

What's yours? How do you feel if it is going away? What did you do if it already has?

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Please read my FEAR/Portal/HalfLife Fan Fiction!
Repurposed

When I love a character that I've made to fit in that game's world, that's when it's not just a game anymore.

The Hour Thief is, above all else, a Midnighter. I can't bring him with me.

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I've typed my thoughts in a thread on a different page, but the long and short of it is - when through the game I'm inspired to be something better. As silly as it may seem, I've learned a bit about leadership, and a fair amount about relationships through this game - all while building friendships and appreciating the noble spirit in people who enjoy being heroes (and even villains!).

You're not silly for thinking this isn't simply a game. It's been a tool, and an opportunity to have experiences we wouldn't normally get the chance in real life. After years of that, those experiences - even if not real - add up to make an impact.

I'll miss you all.

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The Paladin
Steel Canyon, Virtue
Exalted

@Paladin

I started here with a couple of RL friends back in August of 2004. They didn't last long in the game and went onto other distractions while I remained.

I didn't sign up to the forum until almost a year later to submit a picture for the cameo in the comic book.

I didn't started posting in earnest when CoV was in Beta, helping out in the Tech forum. I don't post there as often anymore, favoring the Comic and Hero/Villain Culture section which are full of other comic, anime, movie and science fiction geeks. Most of reasons I had for helping in Player Questions have now been taken care of by a quick link to ParagonWiki.

I started a guide over four years ago suggesting both a low cost and medium cost parts lists for rigs that could play this game well.

And I still only have one Level 50 character. And he Father Xmas, still hasn't even finished all the pre-Incarnate content or even the pre-Praetorian retcon content. I never ran any SSA arcs, still have yet to do some of the original Task Forces and Trials with any character and haven't tried to IO set out any of them either.

I'm stuck behind dial-up because of where I live and this is one of the few MMOs I can solo in because of it's low bandwidth requirement. I really don't see myself playing another MMO again because of my internet situation, nobody designs for those of us living out in the boonies, the 19% that have no broadband option.

And here I was starting to design a utility that could read a /mypurchases dump and format it into a useful document listing what entire costume bundles you had purchased at the market or bought pre-Freedom.

I'm very sad right now. Yes the game will still be around for the next few months. NCSoft will try to offer those of us who have paid time until next year something in their other games, I prefer cash or credit rebate myself.

I just hope when the end of November comes, we'll have an event that'll put all other EOL events to shame. To quote Grig from The Last Starfighter
"I've always wanted to fight a desperate battle against incredible odds. "

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Father Xmas - Level 50 Ice/Ice Tanker - Victory
$725 and $1350 parts lists --- My guide to computer components

Tempus unum hominem manet