Bonefire! The Freedom Style series

A while back after having a conversation on the "City Life" board, I got the idea to update the very, very old story arcs that weren't attached to sets of arcs or anyhing like that. So, I hiked up my sleeves and started this endeavour. I call it the "Freedom Style" series.

I really thought this was an important project, because there's a LOT of great lore in those missions new folks are missing, even though the telling is... less than stellar. What can I say, the mission tech and storytelling in this game has improved much over the years. Plus, I needed to do this for myself. I'm my own worst critic, and have created dozens of stories with the AE, and never published a one.

Going over the Paragon Wiki, there's 33 such storylines I'll attempt to write, and update them to include a chance to run with the members of city's signature heroes, and where possible, fight against it's most depraved villains.

From the 'good' Doctor Vahzilok to putting a stop to the Envoy of Shadows, I shall endeavour to update these arcs using as much of the original material (and even dialogue) as possible, only building on the story to include actually getting to know the city's signature characters, and flesh out the personalities of the contacts themselves.

So, without further ado, I present to you

Sorry, did a quick pass over it one last time to be sure and had to change the arc ID to 540613 because of the end clue having a typo (like I said, I can be my own worst critic). My apologies, and I hope you look forward to trying the arc out!

Yeah, I checked it earlier today, and it let me do it. Weirdest thing, I don't know why it didn't let me do it last night. Thanks for the info though!

I finally played this.

I really enjoyed the arc. It is not over the top important, but feels heroic. Good job integrating Manticore.

Typo in the clue from the Hellion in mission 4 or so - he says "everyting" instead of "everything"

Things I would like:

Change the first mission intro to make the plot bigger. The arc kind of rambles with "do this one thing" and then "another mission for you". It should start with "Manticore needs your help with a big gang problem, the first thing you can do to help is X".

The woman you rescue is not mentioned anywhere else. She just feels tacked on and unimportant. Have some Hellions earlier in that mission mention having her work for them. And ideally have a clue or mention of her in the first mission - find another minor artifact she made. That makes her feel like part of the story instead of just a random feature.

Get rid of defeat alls, they just are not fun. Hunting down the last minion hiding somewhere feels anticlimactic and drags it out.

Thanks a lot for your feedback. I thought I'd already nailed down that one typo. Guess I did it on my local copy instead. Anyway, it's fixed now

There's a few reasons as I do these arcs things will be set in stone that are legacies from the old arcs. I want to keep them as close to canon as possible, else they lose relevance to the lore, and undermine the point of this project of mine.

That said, as I'm writing more of these and working them together, I'm understanding that I'm going to have to take a bit of liscence here and there.

I'm not a fan of Defeat Alls either. However, I won't change on those where appropriate, like helping 'clean up' Lou's Shop, or the final raid on the Skulls' main base of operations (though note that's also when I fit a friendly signature NPC into the story to come along and help). Though I was unhappy myself with the first defeat all in Bonefire. I understood why it was a defeat all, and it took me a while, but you actually gave me the suggestion that made sense for me to make it just defeating the leaders. So you'll be happy to know, that first one isn't a defeat all anymore, and does tie Yanamahri into the story a little better in the form of a clue.

As 'tacked on' as she may feel to you, she's actually benefitted the most (developmentally) with my re-write. If you think she felt tacked on in my arc, check the original. Her name wasn't even static- sometimes it was Atsegine, and they kidnapped her... just 'cause, and she's the one that told you about the plot clue because... she overheard it(?- this is unclear in the dialogue how she found out). Though running my arc again, I can see how you felt and made a few changes to the texts to make her more 'there'. I feel a little better about that too, now.

Some of the bigger adjustments (like how Yanamahri is incorporated into the story) takes a bit of a tap dance, because I have to find a way to justify information you recieve through the missions and/or contact themselves. The original stories (particularly the Clockwork Captive) had a lot of hunts and FedExes involved, which of course can't be duplicated in the MA. I'm okay with that though (I know they're not really popular to do either ). I'm getting a feel for how to work around that as entertainingly as possible as I progress, and will hopefully have time to integrate what I learn in to my previous arcs where appropriate; like I did for Bonefire. That may get more difficult as I publish more and more of them.

Anyway, thanks again for the feedback. It's always appreciated!