Statesman's Last Will and Temperament (A Parody)
By
2short2care,
Posted on: 2012-01-13 21:45 in CoH and CoV General Discussions
Quote:
Knowing the sketch by heart, I was thinking this would end with:|
Originally Posted by Dark_Respite
CHRIS JENKINS: "And finally, to my lawyer, who has helped me on this will, I leave not a boot to the head... but a rabid Tasmanian devil, to be placed in his trousers?!" Ooohhh!! Oh, huh huh huh huh, and, and, "... and I leave my entire estate of $10 million to the people of Independence Port so they can afford to move somewhere decent!" Huh.
|
"... and I leave my entire bank account of 10 billion INF to the people of King's Row so they can afford to move somewhere decent!"
I also prefer the Phoenix Wright version of the classic.
It's the end. But the moment has been prepared for ...
That skit always gets a good laugh out of me. Makes me want to see the Ti Kwan Leap skit with CoH characters.
Paragon Unleashed Forums
Twitter: @Alpha_Ryvius
Quote:
Best. Day. Ever!|
Originally Posted by Dark_Respite
CHRIS JENKINS: "... and another boot to her wimpy husband, Manticore."
|
Heehee ROFL.
Cancel the kitchen scraps for widows and lepers, no more merciful beheadings and call off christmas!
this is just as classic a skit as who's on first.
still love it every time i read it, hear it, or see it.
you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you <3
Okay, so some of you might be familiar with the Frantics' comedy sketch "Last Will and Temperament." The younger generation probably knows it from this video.
Over dinner this evening with my husband and roommate, we had the idea of retooling the classic sketch in 'honor' of our soon-to-be-late leader, Statesman.
Michelle
aka
Samuraiko/Dark_Respite
******
CHRIS JENKINS, ATTORNEY AT LAW: As the executor of Marcus Coles estate, I have been empowered to read Mr. Coles Last Will And Testament.
BACK ALLEY BRAWLER: Well, get on with it, the bars open soon.
SISTER PSYCHE: Oh, poor, dear Marcus! Waaaa!
MANTICORE: Oh, there, there, Psyche.
MS. LIBERTY: God, how predictably boring.
MARIA JENKINS: I never worked with a kinder man.
CHRIS JENKINS: If we are all seated, I shall proceed with the reading.
MS. LIBERTY: I knew it.
BACK ALLEY BRAWLER: Heh heh heh heh.
CHRIS JENKINS: "I, Marcus Cole, being of sound mind and body..."
BACK ALLEY BRAWLER: That's a laugh!
CHRIS JENKINS: "... do hereby divide up my considerable estate as follows. To the overly emotional Sister Psyche..."
SISTER PSYCHE: Waaaa!
MANTICORE: Psyche, darling, he's talking about you.
SISTER PSYCHE: Oh.
CHRIS JENKINS: "... who grubbed with her husband, Manticore, grubbed for everything they could get from me, and then cried crocodile tears when I needed sympathy..."
SISTER PSYCHE: What?
CHRIS JENKINS: "... To Psyche, I leave a boot to the head."
SISTER PSYCHE: A what?
*BONK!*
SISTER PSYCHE: Ow!
MANTICORE: Psyche, are you okay?
CHRIS JENKINS: "... and another boot to her wimpy husband, Manticore."
*BONK!*
MANTICORE: Ow!
BACK ALLEY BRAWLER: Hahahahaha...
SISTER PSYCHE: This is an outrage!
CHRIS JENKINS: "... ah, but still, you are my teammate, you have both admired my battleship, and since I no longer need it..."
SISTER PSYCHE: Oh, dear Marcus, he's too kind!
MANTICORE: Yeah.
CHRIS JENKINS: "... I bequeath another boot to the head."
SISTER PSYCHE: What?
*BONK!*
SISTER PSYCHE: Ow!
BACK ALLEY BRAWLER: Hahahaha...
CHRIS JENKINS: "And one more for the wimp."
*BONK!*
MANTICORE: Ow!
CHRIS JENKINS: "Next, to the alcoholic Brawler..."
BACK ALLEY BRAWLER: Hey, I don't want no boot to the head!
CHRIS JENKINS: "... to dear Mike, who has never worked a day in his drunken life..."
BACK ALLEY BRAWLER: I'm coverin' up my head!
CHRIS JENKINS: "... I leave my vineyard and three crates of my finest whiskey."
BACK ALLEY BRAWLER: Really?
CHRIS JENKINS: "And a boot to the head."
*BONK!*
BACK ALLEY BRAWLER: OH!
CHRIS JENKINS: "And another for Psyche and the wimp."
*BONK!*
SISTER PSYCHE: Oh!
*BONK!*
MANTICORE: Ow!
CHRIS JENKINS: "Next, to my know-it-all granddaughter, Jessica..."
MS. LIBERTY: This is so predictable...
CHRIS JENKINS: "... I leave a boot to the head."
*BONK!*
MS. LIBERTY: Uh! I knew it.
CHRIS JENKINS: "And one for Psyche and the wimp."
*BONK!*
SISTER PSYCHE: Ah!
*BONK!*
MANTICORE: OH!
CHRIS JENKINS: "This takes care of teammate obligations. And now, to Maria Jenkins..."
MARIA JENKINS: Oh, uh, I don't want nothin'.
CHRIS JENKINS: "... who took care of me faithfully these many, many years, who cared, made me laugh, sent heroes to rescue me..."
MARIA JENKINS: Oh, I didn't mind.
CHRIS JENKINS: "To Maria Jenkins, I bequeath a boot to the head."
*BONK!*
MARIA JENKINS: OH!
CHRIS JENKINS: "And one for Psyche and the wimp."
*BONK!*
SISTER PSYCHE: AH!
*BONK!*
MANTICORE: OH!
CHRIS JENKINS: "And so, to my cat Mynx, I leave my entire vast... boot to the head!"
*BONK!*
*MEOW!*
CHRIS JENKINS: "And finally, to my lawyer, who has helped me on this will, I leave not a boot to the head... but a rabid Tasmanian devil, to be placed in his trousers?!" Ooohhh!! Oh, huh huh huh huh, and, and, "... and I leave my entire estate of $10 million to the people of Independence Port so they can afford to move somewhere decent!" Huh.
MANTICORE: Is that it?
MS. LIBERTY: That's it?
BACK ALLEY BRAWLER: That's disgraceful.
CHRIS JENKINS: There's one last thing for everyone.
BACK ALLEY BRAWLER: Cover your heads, everybody!
CHRIS JENKINS: "I leave everyone a lifetime supply of inspirations."
MANTICORE: Inspirations?
BACK ALLEY BRAWLER: Inspirations?
MS. LIBERTY: Inspirations, that's all?
CHRIS JENKINS: That's all.
MARIA JENKINS: Well, what type is it?
CHRIS JENKINS: Boot to the head!
*BONK!* *BONK!* *BONK!* *BONK!*
ALL: OW!
THE COURSE OF SUPERHERO ROMANCE CONTINUES!
Book I: A Tale of Nerd Flirting! ~*~ Book II: Courtship and Crime Fighting - Chap Nine live!
MA Arcs - 3430: Hell Hath No Fury / 3515: Positron Gets Some / 6600: Dyne of the Times / 351572: For All the Wrong Reasons
378944: Too Clever by Half / 459581: Kill or Cure / 551680: Clerical Errors (NEW!)