Statesman's Last Will and Temperament (A Parody)
Quote:
Knowing the sketch by heart, I was thinking this would end with:
CHRIS JENKINS: "And finally, to my lawyer, who has helped me on this will, I leave not a boot to the head... but a rabid Tasmanian devil, to be placed in his trousers?!" Ooohhh!! Oh, huh huh huh huh, and, and, "... and I leave my entire estate of $10 million to the people of Independence Port so they can afford to move somewhere decent!" Huh.
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"... and I leave my entire bank account of 10 billion INF to the people of King's Row so they can afford to move somewhere decent!"
I also prefer the Phoenix Wright version of the classic.
![](http://boards.cityofheroes.com/images/icons/icon10.gif)
![](http://boards.cityofheroes.com/images/icons/icon14.gif)
It's the end. But the moment has been prepared for ...
![](http://img178.imageshack.us/img178/7840/groove1.gif)
![](http://img178.imageshack.us/img178/7840/groove1.gif)
That skit always gets a good laugh out of me. Makes me want to see the Ti Kwan Leap skit with CoH characters.
![](http://i49.tinypic.com/351fs54.jpg)
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Twitter: @Alpha_Ryvius
Heehee ROFL.
Cancel the kitchen scraps for widows and lepers, no more merciful beheadings and call off christmas!
this is just as classic a skit as who's on first.
still love it every time i read it, hear it, or see it.
you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you <3
Okay, so some of you might be familiar with the Frantics' comedy sketch "Last Will and Temperament." The younger generation probably knows it from this video.
![Smile](images/smilies/smile.gif)
Over dinner this evening with my husband and roommate, we had the idea of retooling the classic sketch in 'honor' of our soon-to-be-late leader, Statesman.
Michelle
aka
Samuraiko/Dark_Respite
******
CHRIS JENKINS, ATTORNEY AT LAW: As the executor of Marcus Coles estate, I have been empowered to read Mr. Coles Last Will And Testament.
BACK ALLEY BRAWLER: Well, get on with it, the bars open soon.
SISTER PSYCHE: Oh, poor, dear Marcus! Waaaa!
MANTICORE: Oh, there, there, Psyche.
MS. LIBERTY: God, how predictably boring.
MARIA JENKINS: I never worked with a kinder man.
CHRIS JENKINS: If we are all seated, I shall proceed with the reading.
MS. LIBERTY: I knew it.
BACK ALLEY BRAWLER: Heh heh heh heh.
CHRIS JENKINS: "I, Marcus Cole, being of sound mind and body..."
BACK ALLEY BRAWLER: That's a laugh!
CHRIS JENKINS: "... do hereby divide up my considerable estate as follows. To the overly emotional Sister Psyche..."
SISTER PSYCHE: Waaaa!
MANTICORE: Psyche, darling, he's talking about you.
SISTER PSYCHE: Oh.
CHRIS JENKINS: "... who grubbed with her husband, Manticore, grubbed for everything they could get from me, and then cried crocodile tears when I needed sympathy..."
SISTER PSYCHE: What?
CHRIS JENKINS: "... To Psyche, I leave a boot to the head."
SISTER PSYCHE: A what?
*BONK!*
SISTER PSYCHE: Ow!
MANTICORE: Psyche, are you okay?
CHRIS JENKINS: "... and another boot to her wimpy husband, Manticore."
*BONK!*
MANTICORE: Ow!
BACK ALLEY BRAWLER: Hahahahaha...
SISTER PSYCHE: This is an outrage!
CHRIS JENKINS: "... ah, but still, you are my teammate, you have both admired my battleship, and since I no longer need it..."
SISTER PSYCHE: Oh, dear Marcus, he's too kind!
MANTICORE: Yeah.
CHRIS JENKINS: "... I bequeath another boot to the head."
SISTER PSYCHE: What?
*BONK!*
SISTER PSYCHE: Ow!
BACK ALLEY BRAWLER: Hahahaha...
CHRIS JENKINS: "And one more for the wimp."
*BONK!*
MANTICORE: Ow!
CHRIS JENKINS: "Next, to the alcoholic Brawler..."
BACK ALLEY BRAWLER: Hey, I don't want no boot to the head!
CHRIS JENKINS: "... to dear Mike, who has never worked a day in his drunken life..."
BACK ALLEY BRAWLER: I'm coverin' up my head!
CHRIS JENKINS: "... I leave my vineyard and three crates of my finest whiskey."
BACK ALLEY BRAWLER: Really?
CHRIS JENKINS: "And a boot to the head."
*BONK!*
BACK ALLEY BRAWLER: OH!
CHRIS JENKINS: "And another for Psyche and the wimp."
*BONK!*
SISTER PSYCHE: Oh!
*BONK!*
MANTICORE: Ow!
CHRIS JENKINS: "Next, to my know-it-all granddaughter, Jessica..."
MS. LIBERTY: This is so predictable...
CHRIS JENKINS: "... I leave a boot to the head."
*BONK!*
MS. LIBERTY: Uh! I knew it.
CHRIS JENKINS: "And one for Psyche and the wimp."
*BONK!*
SISTER PSYCHE: Ah!
*BONK!*
MANTICORE: OH!
CHRIS JENKINS: "This takes care of teammate obligations. And now, to Maria Jenkins..."
MARIA JENKINS: Oh, uh, I don't want nothin'.
CHRIS JENKINS: "... who took care of me faithfully these many, many years, who cared, made me laugh, sent heroes to rescue me..."
MARIA JENKINS: Oh, I didn't mind.
CHRIS JENKINS: "To Maria Jenkins, I bequeath a boot to the head."
*BONK!*
MARIA JENKINS: OH!
CHRIS JENKINS: "And one for Psyche and the wimp."
*BONK!*
SISTER PSYCHE: AH!
*BONK!*
MANTICORE: OH!
CHRIS JENKINS: "And so, to my cat Mynx, I leave my entire vast... boot to the head!"
*BONK!*
*MEOW!*
CHRIS JENKINS: "And finally, to my lawyer, who has helped me on this will, I leave not a boot to the head... but a rabid Tasmanian devil, to be placed in his trousers?!" Ooohhh!! Oh, huh huh huh huh, and, and, "... and I leave my entire estate of $10 million to the people of Independence Port so they can afford to move somewhere decent!" Huh.
MANTICORE: Is that it?
MS. LIBERTY: That's it?
BACK ALLEY BRAWLER: That's disgraceful.
CHRIS JENKINS: There's one last thing for everyone.
BACK ALLEY BRAWLER: Cover your heads, everybody!
CHRIS JENKINS: "I leave everyone a lifetime supply of inspirations."
MANTICORE: Inspirations?
BACK ALLEY BRAWLER: Inspirations?
MS. LIBERTY: Inspirations, that's all?
CHRIS JENKINS: That's all.
MARIA JENKINS: Well, what type is it?
CHRIS JENKINS: Boot to the head!
*BONK!* *BONK!* *BONK!* *BONK!*
ALL: OW!
THE COURSE OF SUPERHERO ROMANCE CONTINUES!
Book I: A Tale of Nerd Flirting! ~*~ Book II: Courtship and Crime Fighting - Chap Nine live!
MA Arcs - 3430: Hell Hath No Fury / 3515: Positron Gets Some / 6600: Dyne of the Times / 351572: For All the Wrong Reasons
378944: Too Clever by Half / 459581: Kill or Cure / 551680: Clerical Errors (NEW!)