Market Myths and Legends(warning: heretics within)

In the beginning there was Smurphy and Smurphy sat upon his golden chair and said let there be inf, and it was so. And there was evening and morning on the first payday.

Then Smurphy said it is not good to be alone on this golden chair. I must teach the masses about economics. And Lo, He opened the market forum and taught the people. And there was evening and morning on the second payday.

And the People looked at Smurphy's wealth and were jealous. They cried flipper and profiteer and tried to smear his mighty image. And Smurphy looked upon the people with pity and formed his cartel to manage purples for many weeks. And there was evening and morning on the third payday.

But the people were still unhappy and Smurphy looked upon them and empowered a chosen few. Fulmens, TopDoc, Nethergoat, and others. He gave them the power of auctions. And he made them his followers all the days of their lives. And there was evening and morning the fourth payday.

And Smurphy sat back and let his followers teach the people. Nethergoat cried in a loud voice. There are riches for the taking to be found in Dark Astoria. Burn the zombies and live forever! And the people heard Nethergoat and followed him. And Nethergoat created many followers for the ways of ebil. And the people were happy. And there was evening and morning on the fifth payday.

<stuff about flipping>
<more stuff>

Many years passed and the people grew unhappy crying we want to be rich quick! And one arose from them by the name of Fury Flechette and she taught the people to make billions in a week. And the people were happy.

Man that was fun to write.


Market Advice: Buy Low, Sell High. <--this is now forum relevant.

Feel free to add your own.

1 These be the words which Smurphy spake unto all Paragon on this side Crey's Folly in the wilderness, in the plain over against Independence Port, between Croatoa, and Eden, and Cimerora.
2 And it came to pass in i18, that Smurphy spake unto the children of Paragon, according unto all that Wentworth's had given him in commandment unto them;
3 After he had slain Another Fan, which dwelt in Heshbon, and eryq2 the king of Bashan, which dwelt at Astaroth in Edrei:
4 Turn you, and take your journey, and go to the mount of the Black Market, for it hath mergeth, and unto all the places nigh thereunto, in the plain, in the hills, and in the vale, and in the south, and by the sea side, to the land of the Luddites, and unto Cap, unto the great river, the river of inf.
5 Behold, I have set the recipes before you: go in and possess the IOs which Statesman sware unto your fathers, peterpeter, Fulmens, and Cap'n Canadian, to give unto them and to their seed after them.
6 The LORD your Smurphy hath multiplied your inf, and, behold, ye are this day as the stars of heaven for multitudes of inf.
7 (The LORD Smurphy of your fathers make you a thousand times so many more as ye are, and bless you, as he hath promised you!)
8 Take you wise men, and understanding, and known among your supergroups, and I will make them super leader over you.
9 And ye answered me, and said, The thing which thou hast spoken is good for us to do.
10 So I took the Superleader of your SG, wise men, and known, and made them heads over you, captains over billions and officers among your SGs.
11 And I charged your judges at that time, saying, Hear the causes between your brethren, and judge righteously between every recipe and its crafted IO, and the gap between how they are priced.
12 Ye shall not respect persons in judgment; but ye shall hear the common salvage as well as the great pool Cs;
13 And I commanded you at that time all the things which ye should do.
14 Behold, the LORD thy Smurphy hath set the inf before thee: go up and possess it, as the LORD hath said unto thee; fear not, neither be discouraged by that which didn't sell.
15 And ye came near unto me every one of you, and said, We will flip salvage before us, and they shall search us out the drop rate, and bring us word again by what way we must go up, and into what is most profitable of the rolls.
16 And the saying pleased Smurphy: and he took twelve market slots, one for each tribe.
17 And they took of the fruit of the land in their hands, and brought it down unto us, and brought us word again, and said, It is a good market which the LORD Smurphy doth give us.
18 And the LORD said unto me, Say unto them, Go not up, neither fight; for I am not among you; lest ye be smitten before your enemies. But flip and craft and sell.
19 So I spake unto you; and ye would not hear, but rebelled against the commandment of the LORD, and went presumptuously up into the hill speaking of the prohibitive cost of items.
20 And ye returned and wept before the LORD; the marketears of the downtrodden, but the LORD would not hearken to your voice, nor give ear unto you.

I thought mine was good. But dang, yours was great.

And lo, there came a great gale, and I looked for Smurphy in the gale; but Smurphy was not in the wind. Then there came a great rain of fire, and I looked for Smurphy in the rain of fire; but Smurphy was not in the rain of fire. Then came an earthquake, but Smurphy was not in the earthquake. Finally I looked out and saw a pink bunny; and I said, "Is that you Smurphy?", and Smurphy nodded and gave unto me many scrolls. I opened the scrolls and saw the words Respec Recipe. And Smurphy said unto me, "Go my child and flip for great profits." And I went out into the land as instructed.

Wow!


*clapping hooves*

Positron 3, verses 16-18
For Smurphy so Loved his inf that he gave his only begotten purples that whosoever shall market with them shall have eternal wealth and live forever. For Smurphy did not send his purples into the world to create chaos but to create wealth through them. Whoever slots the purples shall not be condemned, but he who does not slot the purples in his warshade has already been condemned because he did not slot the purples given by the one true Smurphy.

Statesman 1:1-5
And these are the names of the sets that Smurphy gave to the marketeers, the sons of Smurphy each with his own set: Armageddon, Ragnarok, Fortunata Hypnosis, Apocalypse, and Gravitational Anchor. Unbreakable constraint, Absolute Amazment, and Coercive Persuasion, Hecatomb, Soulbound Allegiance. The purples of Smurphy numbered 10.

Castle chapter 1:
and Smurphy spoke to TopDoc in the WentWorths in Talos Island on the first day of the second month of the second year after Smurphy had freed the marketeers from the people. He said, " Take a count of the profitable sets I have given unto you. Count each one and list it. One set from each category, each the best of the best is to help you. And these are the names of the sets that will help you profit greatly:
from Healing, Miracle and Numina's Convalescence;
from PBAoE, Obliteration and Scirocco's Dervish;
from Melee, Touch of Death, Kinetic Combat, and Mako's Bite;
from Ranged, Decimation and Devastation;
from Hold, Basilisk's Gaze and Lockdown;
from TAoE, Positron's Blast;
from Defense, Luck of the Gambler and Red Fortune;
from Resistance, Aegis, Titanium Coating and Reactive Armor;
These are the sets that you shall profit greatly from but the others shall be of profit as well. These are the heads of my profitable sets.

??? chapter 23:
Smurphy is my cartel leader, I shall not want. He makes me log in to wentworths, he leads me by the black market, and the trading house. He guides me in the path of profit for his sake. Even though I walk through the valley of leechers and trolls I will fear nothing, for you are with me; You purples and your unique IOs they comfort me. You prepare a table of wealth before me in the presence of farmers. You shower me with inf; I am at the inf cap. Surely wealth and happiness will follow me all the days of my life, and I will work the market forever.

and Smurphy gave these words to Nethergoat;
I am the Ebil genius marketeer who taught you to make profit.
1) You shall buy thy goods low and sell thy goods high
2) You shall not put all thy inf in one place
3) You shall know that any good which people desire but noone is selling is underpriced.
<4-10 to be added.. later...>

4) You shall call the congregation "the league of ebil".


Just for giggles.