Yet Another MA Review Thread?

First off I want to give you a really big thank you for reviewing my arc Salvage Rights, especially since you got to it so fast. Second I'd like to thank you for the points you have made. The problem with all the feedback I got the first time around I published the arc was that it was all positive and gave me no information on what I could improve on. While this was great for the ego it did nothing to help me put right the things that needed attention. Still your review has highlighted plenty of things for me to improve on.

I just want to go over a few things in the review...

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Borea doesn't have any description. This isn't a HUGE thing, since most people will know who she is -- unless they're brand new and haven't done any RWZ, or they've been out of the game since back when it was still RCS -- but it's a nit I had to pick.

I always thought if you used a standard contact you got the standard bio to go with it. Something I will check for the future.

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I thought they'd added some RWZ maps to the list. No? Well, Baumton works in a pinch, anyways. Just was expecting RWZ when I zoned in. And of course, what would the Warzone be without Rikti everywhere and patrolling Vanguard?

I did originally try using the 'Bulge' map which is in the MA, but the turrets had a nasty habit of wiping out objectives before the players could reach them. I figured the Baumton 'City Map 01' was a good alternative to represent a war torn area of the RWZ.

As for Rikti and Vanguard, the main enemy of the map is Rikti, and I threw in a few Vanguard patrols to help reinforce the illusion the place was in the Warzone.

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Borea is giving the bad guys guns

Only as bait!

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Enter the army of greens. Gotta love it when the missions send me a bunch of nothings to start a mission.

Probably the only bit of real criticism I ever got was that mission had a particulary nasty 'Hot Door'. Hence Why I chose 'Ramp Up' to lesson the impact of entering.

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The Burner, while blue to me (-2 Lt), was worth nothing.

This is because I wanted a weapon based flame wielding critter. I accomplished this by giving it AR but leaving out the bullet based attacks. Unfortunately under current MA XP rules this stops the Burner from giving XP. However upcoming MA changes will sort this problem out.

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...destroying the ammo we just dumped here. Well, better than letting them have it.

Actually double check the mission briefings...

...To that end I arranged for humanity first to recieve a gift... a gift with a tracking device installed in it.

...I also made sure there was a clerical error that meant those munitions wouldn't be appearing on any delivery manifest. the idea being that our rogue agents would see a potentially untraceble munitions delivery and reroute it to Humanity First.

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It's ironic that the cave leads partway onto the Mothership.

I have to admit that is the one thing that always bugged me about that particular map. This thing is the map always has been 100% reliable for it's spawn points whenever i played it so I was hesitant to change it. My bit of fudge was that Humanity First had previously taken it from Rikti who had set up a small hidden outpost. Im guessing I should add some some sort of patrol dialog to highlight that for the future.

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Minor quibble: I'm not a huge fan of using player acronyms in the popups. We (the players) call the Warzone RWZ, just like we (the players) used to call it RCS. I don't think I've ever seen the NPCs use those terms though; I'm pretty sure they always call it the Warzone (or Rikti War Zone) and the Crash Site.

A point I never considered before, and very pleased you pointed out.

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Hm... was there an EB/AV warning? I must've missed it. *checks* Not in the actual briefing, but I'm sure the system has the generic warning at least. Ah well... I just prefer heads-up on an individual mission of some form, whether explicit ("[NOTE: Contains AVs/EBs]") or implicit ("This could be quite dangerous, given what they've salvaged. I'd advise bringing allies for the fight.").

There is generic warnings. Borea doesn't warn otherwise as she doesn't actually have that intel herself. From a playing point of view if EB/AV's are tagged on the arc select page you already know they are in there somewhere. Just seems making things a little too easy telling you exactly when they appear. Not only that I solo this arc with a Corruptor so figured others should cope easy enough.

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I could see a villain setting bombs on a ship to prevent them getting away... the whole "If I can't have it, no one can" mentality. Heroes are above that. It's at dock inside Paragon City, and further, you place it next to an oil tanker? And I'm supposed to blow it up? How does that even work?

"what we have here is a faliure to communicate!" (Sorry, couldn't resist it

I think you got a little lost here check these excerpts from the briefings...

...We have run ito a problem though. It seems someone managed to get a message to the ship and they are already bugging out. Worse still an oil tanker docked at the port has been sabotaged and every available resource is being used to contain that disaster.

From the text I was hoping to convey that Humanity First's Cargo ship is already leaving port amongst the chaos of the harbour patrol etc dealing with the sabotaged tanker. (An act I thought I'd implied Humanity First was responsible for.

Another excerpt...

Your job will be to plant a small number of explosive devices in key areas on the ship. Once in place we will detonate the explosives causing enough hull damage to force the vessel to come to a full stop, but not enough to sink her or her cargo. Hopefully you can cripple the ship before it hits international waters.

As you can see the intention is pretty clear and I don't see any heroic characters having issues with this plan.

Another supporting excert from the success dialog...

You stopped that ship in time before it made international waters. the Navy are escorting it back to port.

Again this implies the ship was no longer in port.

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I have a justifiable hatred for enemies that start in stealth. I get it, he's a stalker. He sure hit like one. But it made him hard to find. There was also some weird delay tied to his caltrops, of all things, despawning. I pity the person who takes his time to get to the back, only to fail because his caltrops wouldn't despawn fast enough. The caltrops isn't your fault -- necessarily, although you can take steps like removing them from Loot

loot originally started out DB/WP so you can imagine how nasty that was. I changed it to Ninjisu as I figured the sneaky aspect kinda fit in with his wheeler dealer personality. I got to admit I never had issue with the caltrops before but if this is a known bug then I will certainly heed your advice.

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The main thing that really weighed against my decision to rate this higher on story is the fact that, as a hero, I was asked to bomb a ship currently in port in Independence Port, right next to an oil tanker, where lots of lives could be lost. I get that it's billed as primarily neutral, but on closer inspection, you actually say it's "neutral with heroic leanings"... causing massive loss of civilian life is by no means heroic. Even my morally ambiguous hero was horrified at the prospect.

As pointed out above you were worrying needlessly!

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You have some strong detail, especially in your initial focus on the Humanity First villain group description, but it starts fading during the actual play. It almost feels like establishing Humanity First was the important part, and everything else that occurs in the arc was an afterthought.

Partially agree with you here. It is true the arc was done to establish the group, but the arc is mainly concerned with their resource gathering rather than their primary agenda of waging war on metas.

All being said I have thoroughly enjoyed your write up on my arc and WILL taking some of your criticism onboard (Especially the grammar!). I hope you are not offended by my own write up to go along with your comments, but sometimes you got a story in your head that doesn't always translate the way you thought it did into whatever creative medium you used. I hope my own comments helped clarify what I was trying to put across.

Once again big thank you for the review.

Based on your original post in this thread, Mychyl, I take it you'll accept "series arcs", but will only do one arc of the series at a time, with each following arc falling to the bottom of your queue, correct? That's fine with me, as every arc in my "Galactic Protectorate" series was designed to be more or less stand-alone, anyway

You can find the names and Arc ID numbers for my "Galactic Protectorate" series in my signature. Now, the arcs DO follow a linear plotline, so if you decide to review my arcs, it would probably be best to run them in numerical order, otherwise you probably won't be able to follow the overarching story

Also, the arcs are all high level (designed for Level 40-50 Heroes or Villains, labeled "Neutral"), and the enemies can be quite challenging in large groups. As long as you're not running the arc on too high a difficulty, you should be fine, but I would definitely suggest running the arcs with a solo-friendly character

Anyway, if you decide to run my arcs, I'd appreciate any feedback you could give me.

Thank you for the ratings adjustment Mychyl, but a bigger thank you for your work on these reviews. I tried out several of the arcs highlighted in this thread, and found them to be real gems. Chances are I'd of missed them if I never read the reviews. Keep up all the good work!

Welcome to our little corner of the forums. I'll go ahead and throw my hat into the ring with Matchstick Women #3369 and Whack a Mole #2711. Link's in sig, both should be on mission review, but your forum review is fine to stay in this thread. Have fun playing some great arcs from the folks here. It looks like you're enjoying them so far.

Hey, (semi)protip for ya.

When destructible objects appear in the MA, they don't actually have any of the powers associated with them. Snake eggs don't hatch, Superadine doesn't buff your recovery, Rikti bombs don't blow you halfway across the map when they go off, and Shadow Cyst Crystals just sit there while you pound on them.

So if you see a destructible in an MA mission, any MA mission at all, it's not going to be anything more than a miserable pile of hit points.

Reviewing:: Duplicity (85847, @Soul Storm)

@Mychyl

Playing as L37 Dark/Regen scrapper, old Heroic setting

-- or rather, as L45 Dark/Regen, due to minimum level

~*~

Morally gray things, huh? Well, that's never a problem with this character. (Possible bombings aside.) So bring on the chaos.

And a timer. That too.

~*~

Smash evidence, kill baddies, and make it home before Longbow even knows I was here. Easily enough done, especially when it's just a bunch of Council lackeys.

But while destroying evidence is kinda light gray, something tells me this is barely the tip of the iceberg.

~*~

Huh... it seems that the Council have a shapeshifter in their midst, one who's capable of duplicating anyone he wants. And I'm someone he wants. Because I'm so well connected and all in this city. (Please, her connections and a buck might get her a soda.)

And now, the one piece of evidence I kept during my smash-and-grab leads me to someone who might be able to tell me something about this Shapeshifter. So I'm off to the Isles for some plausibly deniable rescue work.

~*~

It's funny, you get those arcs that are heavy on custom mobs, and sometimes it makes it a little harder to focus on just playing and watching for story hooks. Then you get an arc with no customs, and you can go on autopilot for the fighting itself while you watch for clues, glowies, anything interesting.

And then, while nothing exciting is happening, I think about weird things. Like how it makes sense that the Council would have a villain like the Shapeshifter. They are the masters of genetic manipulation, after all.

I find the informant, I lead him to the door, and life goes on. Sorta.

Back to see what's next on the hit list.

~*~

And I get yelled at. I don't like it when contacts scold me. It does NOT sit well with me.

But while he tries to make nice noises at Longbow, he wants me to go beat up the Shapeshifter. I expect this to end bad... but whatever. I'll do it if it makes him shut up. That's my new motivation.

~*~

Ambush with EB. What nonsensical fun.

My first thought is to go beat up some Voids and steal a couple of their quantum array weapons for when I see Romulus next. But no, according to the clues, it's not his fault.

I still blame him.

But no, apparently the Shapeshifter led them to believe that I'm him. So they're looking for him, and finding me, and what good fun that is. Back to chew out Romulus and have him call his dogs off.

~*~

Oho, so after I "go into hiding for 3 weeks" (which is something my character wouldn't do, especially when there's a hint in her mind that she was set up), I'm on Longbow's Most Wanted and even villains don't wanna help me.

So apparently I'm gonna hare off on my own. Given that Romulus might be to blame, that's not a horrid plan after all.

Another thought: given that the Shapeshifter can replicate anyone, could Romulus suddenly be the Shapeshifter in disguise?

~*~

Nifty base. I don't actually remember this one... but it works very well for Vandal. I almost expected the colosseum-style one, but I like this one better.

Wow, forgot how nasty Vandal can get. Died a couple times, which is rare for this character... but I pulled myself together and took him out.

Which, apparently, my ability to defeat him means that I'm really me. Go me? But now he suspects Arakhn. Who I remember vaguely from my Council hierarchy, but I don't remember who he was. Since he's not as common, let's see if Romulus has anything to say about this possibility.

Or if I get to kill him. I think I found a crate of quantum weapons. I wanna try.

~*~

Down side, Romulus isn't there. Plus side, he might be meeting with the Shapeshifter. Either way, my quantum rifle will be happy to see him.

I still think Romulus = Shapeshifter. I'm gonna stick by that. But now, heading into Arakhn's base -- which should be the location of the Shapeshifter, hopefully -- we'll find out, won't me?

~*~

I enter to hear an officer shouting to offer his help. Apparently Vandal cleared my name. I'll take that as a good sign.

Said officer is found kneeling, as though captured... but he isn't. Is this an arc bug? Possibly.

And the officer is a bad kill stealer. I don't like him anymore. Time to try and ditch him.

Success. On with the mission. ^^b

And I am steadfastly trying to ignore the navbar. Because it spoiled the final twist for me. I would strongly advise changing that... having the twist come out when I get to the last room... that's awesome. Having it come out the second I hit the base? Not as fun.

I get to the Shapeshifter, and he practically one-shots me. OK, change of plans, this time I'll bring the kill stealer with me. Maybe he can tank for me for a bit.

OK, so the officer was worthless. And I got hamster-balled 3 times during the fight. 3 times... that's a record for me. I hate that power beyond rational thought, for the record.

...And apparently the game hated it too. Because I just mapserv'd. I swear, if I have to start this map over from the beginning... *shakes fist*

Oh. Um. Half the servers went down. *pauses review*

Servers are up, so back to work. From the beginning, alas. But it'll work. I'll just skip on commentary until after where I was.

Nice, this time I didn't get the hamster-ball treatment once. Now, as I was about to say before, off to face the Shapeshifter -- in another form.

Form 2 was... well, I muted the game for the battle. The least favorite villain to battle with sound on, that's for sure. But there's another one? Really?

Form 3 was actually the real Shapeshifter. Supposedly. Ironically, much like most RPG villains that have multiple forms, the true form was the weakest.

All done. Back to say hi to Romulus. Used all my quantum charges on the Shapeshifter, but I guess my fists will do.

~*~

Darn, I didn't even get to punch him. He started sobbing about how he'd betrayed me for the woman he'd fallen in love with. Ah well, at least Romulus and the Shapeshifter are off to visit scenic Ziggursky..... or are they?

~*~

Storyline:: * * * *

Very lyrically flowing story, and quite captivating. I felt myself drawn into the goings-on, and anytime I have strong emotions against the events or contacts, that's a plus. (Just less so when I start raging against the arc.) There were a couple moments when it was less going with the arc and more... wanting to fight against it.

My one question is, aside from the fact that I destroyed evidence, and then ended up fighting Longbow (due to an ambush), what was the grayness of the morality of the arc? I was set up to expect myself doing things a hero might be morally opposed to... but really, I don't feel that happened so much. There were a lot of "greater good" overtones that made the entire affair look like sunshine and daisies compared to, say, Crimson's arc.

And again, I get (in the end) that Romulus isn't so much interested in my happiness and well-being, but I don't care for contacts that scold heroes like they're bad children. It does not sit well with me.

Design:: * * * *

The fake Longbow looked like a real Longbow; the Shapeshifter look went well together; the maps and missions coordinated very well. My only qualm is that there wasn't much to the (real) Shapeshifter's description. Also, as I mentioned, the officer in the final mission is found kneeling but unguarded -- either unguarded and ready for battle, or guarded and kneeling, would work well, but "kneeling but unguarded" just looks like an error.

And why would someone go into hiding for 3 weeks? Why not confront Romulus right away? Like I said, my hero certainly wouldn't go to ground just because of a little threat on her life... I can't think of anyone who gets to L45 without repeated threats on their life.

Gameplay:: * * * * *

There's a definite challenge element to this arc -- which I expected going in, which knocked me on my face a couple times, but I persevered and it all ended well. The missions were fun, had a nice varied pace that kept me on my toes, and a couple of twists that I didn't expect made it more fun.

Detail:: * * * *

Again, there were a couple places (like with the real Shapeshifter's description) that I felt it could've been a little better fleshed out. The attention to the story itself was very strong, but there's always room for improvement.

Overall:: * * * *

A bit of polish never hurt anyone; this is a good, strong arc, and I'd be excited to see how it'd look with just a hint more detail in the bare parts. And possibly with a hint more suspense to the final twists... the twists were good, and kept me guessing, but having half the twists just show up in the navbar for the final mission was a bit awkward.

First of all I'd like to thank you for running through the arc and giving me such excellent feedback!

I have gone over the text and made it clear that everyone in the first mission is to be terminated. That’s what is supposed to be morally grey.

I put Romulus' scalding in as a way of trying to emphasise that emotionally Romulus is unstable and isn’t in full control. If there is another way of emphasising this without scalding the player I’d love to hear the suggestion.

I have rewritten the bit about hiding for 3 weeks. I had put it in there originally to show a passing of time, but as you’ve pointed out any normal super hero wouldn’t need that; they’d just go kick contact ****.

As you pointed out (thanks!) the Officer animation was a bug, and one that’s since been corrected.

I have now restructured the final mission so there’s no pesky nav-spoilers and the preliminary boss-fights now drop clues to suggest what’s happening. I’ve also added a lot more BG info for The Shapeshifter which you see upon mission completion. I’ve fleshed out the bare bits a little bit better.

If it’s possible I’d like to re-submit this to the end of your queue just to see what you make of the revised additions.

Critiquing:: LOOK CLOSER (382760, @Beyond Reach)

@Mychyl

Playing as L28 Elec/Regen scrapper, old Heroic setting

~*~

Should I be getting a microscope? The Hubble Telescope, maybe? Guess it depends on how CLOSE I should be LOOKing.

OK, enough bad puns for the moment. The Grimm Fairy... that name sounds way too familiar. I'm gonna take a minute and figure out where I remember... waitaminute...

Ishmael. The History badge plaques. The Intellectual badge. This could be interesting.

So yea, I'm off to save someone that I know nothing about. Sure, that'll work. Taking orders from a hero gives a subtle air of "I'd do it, but I'm far too busy to waste my time on this". Though I'm probably reading too much into it.

But then I look at my clues (trying to LOOK CLOSER) before I enter, it sounds like the girl I was supposed to visit didn't know why I came, but her brother clearly became a lieutenant, if not higher, amongst the Lost. And the real mission is to go check up on him. So, let's begin.

By the way, the intro clue was titled "The L.anguished Woman"... I'm not sure if this is supposed to mean something special, or was a typo of some form. It doesn't make sense to me at this juncture, at any rate.

~*~

A warehouse crawling with Lost, with two Lost guards outside (that I apparently sneak in past). Pretty standard, except for the altars to Ishmael the Teacher and the documents that serve as a Lost Manifesto. (Apparently, the Intellectual story is what I'm reliving. So time to temporarily forget everything I know about what happened, because that'll only spoil the story.)

Isaac's dead... well, that's not gonna make his sister too happy. I checked the building, looking for anything I missed, then time to head back and tell Grimm what I found.

~*~

So, it looks like I'm still playing sidekick for the Grimm Fairy. She picked up two signals that match Isaac -- I mean Ishmael -- and I'm off to check out one while she checks the other. Not a bad deal... let's see what I can find.

~*~

And lo, the miracle of birth... or rather, the non-miracle of advancing someone to a higher stage of Lost (which my character knows, due to the Midnighter intro arc, means a step further from his original humanity). The clue says that I have a choice... the transforming Anathema begs for mercy... but all I can do is watch him run off? I know this is AE mechanics at its finest, here... but I can't help but wish I actually could've put him out of his misery.

What's this? Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you: Anathema in a can! (Instead of canning them in water or mineral oil, the Lost prefer to can their Anathemas in some strange gray goo. Oh wait, no, that's liquid brain.)

Hmm, a strange map with some kind of intricate pattern and unknown purpose. What say I figure it out later...

And then I get a clue... but no, apparently, I haven't gotten it yet. That's confusing. Let's head back so I can get the clue...

~*~

OK, her wing got a bit bent out of shape, but now we know where he's at, so she flies me over (honestly, I could run faster than she could fly, promise) to the spot. And then I look at the diary (2 clues, the one before that I "didn't have" yet and the new one for accepting the next mission... isn't there an easier way to do that?), and get a bunch of ranting about heroes being blind to their suffering, and thinking we've won when we just don't know the truth.

Enough reading madness, let's see what we can see inside.

~*~

As I travel this mission, I keep running into the same named Pariah. Is this an accident of naming? Or purely coincidental? And one of them dropped another map. Interesting.

Oho, so now the building is gonna fall around me? How... quaint.

~*~

With a falling building, it stands to reason that there's a ticking timebomb (so to speak) on the mission. So this is written after the fact. >.>

First off, I'm not the worst opponent of chained objectives... they definitely have their uses. Chaining two separate sets of defuses, then 4 bombs to place, in a medium-sized map when the clock is ticking steadily down... that, I'm an opponent of.

And why was I placing bombs again? *goes back to the clues* OK, so apparently we can blow our way out of the building... thus killing all the villains and captives inside, but we'd survive... or we can do the psychic inhibitors. I did several of the inhibitors, but while it said there were 5, I only found three... the other two must've spawned inside walls or something. Were they all bookcases?

OK, I found the other two after the fact, they were just tucked away in awkward locations. But still, the wrapup is likely going to discuss the fact that I blew the building up to escape, since there's no way to set up the concept of "If you complete the mission by doing X, you get this debrief; else, if Y, you get this other debrief". There's a success/fail option, but I wasn't about to deliberately fail a mission just to see what it said. The clue hinted that you tried to do just that, but even so, there's no way for the fail to check that we set the inhibitors first.

Also, as an aside, when there's a timer involved, especially a short one, I tend to ignore clues until later. So I didn't even realize that fail = using the inhibitors against Ishmael until after the bombs were set below.

Ah well, out of the crumbling mass of bodies and bits of building we shall stride, and away to the next point of destruction.

~*~

OK good, apparently in my mad rush to destroy the building, I at least got the civilians out. That's good.

KILL Ishmael? That's the only option? Sure, and all the stuff they put into the Zig to prevent villains from using their powers, that's just for show.

Not to mention that the Grimm Fairy sends me in to do it. She wants him dead, but she doesn't want to deal with the guilt, maybe?

~*~

It's amusing, in the first fight with Ishmael, that he summons a virtual army of clones of himself. It becomes a lot less amusing when I start killing them after he drops... and they're worthless. They stand around and do Build Up, or run off and run back to me, but they have zero attacks, which makes them very annoying decor and little else.

I like the use of destructibles (the transmitters). One thing I'd note, minor typo in the description for them.

Do the whispers need to be numbered? They feel more like random musings and less like something that should've come in a specific order... maybe when I have them all I'll see the order intended.

And one of the images of Isaac is still following me... Gods, those things are annoying.

Yay for even more of these XP-less images. They're no harm to me, so I'll just ignore them. >.>

The whispers didn't need to be in order in the end.

~*~

I'm pretty sure Ishmael didn't die in the end, but was arrested... and why is The Grimm Fairy torn up? She didn't do any of the fighting in the end!

Oho, so in order to make people not hate us, we're pretending that it was an apprehension. And since she's the martyr (regardless that she didn't herself actually face Ishmael), she became the hero of the moment and I was a nothing.

And in the end, the Grimm Fairy was the grief-maddened wife who turned her anger and sorrow in the only direction she could.

~*~

OK, overall, I really like the arc. A few minor blemishes.

First, I get you're rewriting history. It's very common for the history books to remember events one way, when the reality is a bit different. Sanitized, as it were. Especially since your version is very... well, not sanitized, that's for certain.

The title is LOOK CLOSER. Is this a suggestion that the player should look closely at everything? If so, you can put hints to look at the clues and whatnot through the briefings/debriefings (which you have done), but I think the title would work better as an idea of the arc, not as an imperative.

The customs are... well, worthless. I'm assuming you designed them for story purposes... but it's rather annoying to be surrounded by them, but for it to be futile to actually do anything about them. It would be nice, if you decide to keep them, if you turn them into something (perhaps psi blasters, since they're manifestations of his mind anyways.) Also, their descriptions seem a bit light, but that might be more of a personal preference situation.

The clues are good. As I mentioned above, the whisperings don't seem to need an order... they don't follow a certain specific chain in their logic.

Overall, I like the arc... it's a dark arc, but that has its own appeal.

Reviewing:: The Greater Good (350877, @Gypsy Rose)

@Mychyl

Playing as L38 Dark/Regen scrapper, old Heroic setting

-- sync'd to 45 per arc requirements

~*~

OK, so I've apparently been selected to join The Greater Good. But first, they wanna make sure I'm not gonna fall on my face and disgrace them? Got it.

Rob a bank? Weeeelll... she did say modern-day Robin Hoods. I guess we're using this for the greater good? My character mulls it over, and decides to press on.

~*~

According to the Longbow that're guarding the bank, I'm not the only hero who's been tested here recently... they're griping about defending it against heroes and villains alike. Odd.

Hm... a crumpled piece of paper. About the Greater Good. Something tells me this mission was a plant. How... distinctly odd.

As an aside, when you label your safes, we see that. All three can have the same name, it's just that the individual objectives (Collection: Safe etc) would have to have different names. And "safe 3" or "safe with a note" look a bit odd.

~*~

A... A prison break? Really? Sable's willing to play along for now... but she's having very real misgivings about all this. Something about this doesn't add up. If Mr. Worthington is so wonderful and good, why doesn't he have an attorney fighting for him?

~*~

Apparently, some of the cops on scene agree that Mr. Worthington shouldn't have been locked up... but that doesn't stop them from keeping me away from him. Concussions all around.

His immediate guards, however, disagree and call him scum. After freeing him, he thanks me... then stands around. Apparently he wants me to lead him out... but the mission says to just go. I guess he can impress his way out, based on his description.

Let's go. Being on the scene of a breakout makes me queasy.

~*~

And now a kidnapping?

She says it's the final test. It's the final step. I've already broken the law six ways from Sunday. And the ransom money is gonna be used to help people. I can do this. I can do this.

I don't WANT to do this. But I can do this.

~*~

So... so far, no matter how uncomfortable or implausible, it's been true. She said the Family were pretending to be bodyguards for this guy and his prissy princess... true. They don't even like her, talking about what a brat she is... just like she said.

But now? Now I'm apparently a member. Time to find out what she expects of me, if that's just the initiation.

~*~

And just like that, it's time for my initiation party. All those vile deeds done for the greater good. They'd better have punch and pie, after all that.

And the cryptic notes are in the same handwriting as Ms. Goodheart's? The cryptic notes which appeared at the scene of each crime, that made (the first, at least) seem like a plant?

Curious.

~*~

I do not see any punch or pie. There is a desk, which I am apparently supposed to look into. So I do. It says to go find a computer and read a file. The computer's password is farce? Were all my actions a farce as well?

I found the computer... all the way in the back of the office building. (Is this intentional? So that I see all the people inside?) Well well well... a part of me wondered if this might be coming. Let's see what we can do about this.

Well, that's one more objective down... and now the place is bedlam. Half the people are attacking me, and half the people are assisting me. And it's hard to tell which half is which, especially when I can target some of them automatically.

~*~

And so it ends. Did I really serve the greater good? Possibly. Were there better ways to do it? Possibly. Do I feel dirty for going along with the entire charade? Definitely.

But perhaps it was for the greater good in the end.

~*~

Storyline:: * * *

Honestly, I feel that this arc wasn't so much a question of morally gray as of morally bankrupt. The average purebred villain will feel right at home with the entire arc... my heroine, who's not squeamish under most circumstances, almost bailed on the entire arc. If I hadn't been testing this arc, I would've let her.

This kind of descent into evil is basically like what I heard about GR's Praetorian content... slowly lower you into the boiling water, and see how much treachery you can really handle, then mark off your boiling point on the morality scale. Anyone who can complete this arc should be deported to the Isles post-haste.

Design:: * * *

You did a good job with design, overall. There were a few issues (like the constant issues with interacts where you put the name in like it was a behind-the-scenes only option).

The biggest design flaw is the fact that it's not possible to tell one GG from another, which makes it awkward when some are attacking, some are defending, and some are standing there lecturing or playing drums in the middle of it all.

Gameplay:: * *

Honestly, and this being from someone who's not squeamish about the gray edges of morality, your arc would be much better pitched towards someone who's a villain. Robbing a bank Robin Hood style is one thing... but then there's the breakout, then the kidnapping, and finish it all off with a massion office bombing?

Like I said, my heroine wanted out, and as I told you before, she lives on the gray line between hero and villain. It made me squeamish as a player to do it, it made her squeamish as a hero to do it, and most of my villains would chuckle and do it without comment.

Detail:: * * *

You created a custom class, but for all that their look matched one another, it was a very basic, very plain look. There was very little detail about them, very little clue to keep me moving forward through the villainous morass, and there were little nagging things that still pick at the edge of my attention.

For example, if they're all mindwashed into thinking that this is all the best thing ever, how was Ms. Goodheart able to get all those notes planted, right where you could find them? Or why did only some of the people try to defend the building, when the rest were defending you?

Also, as mentioned under design, there were a few things that stood for improvement (the glowie names, the short descriptions).

Overall:: * * *

This would make a wonderful arc for someone planning on crossing over from blue to red when GR goes live; it lets you really see what your hero would think about all this. For the average (or slightly more evil than average) hero that'd just as soon keep their Paragon City registration, the Greater Good is more like the Greater of Two Evils.

That's... gonna have to do it for me for today. Only did 3, but I also only have about 2 hours before work... and I'd prefer not to start one, go to work, come home in a bad mood, and change halfway down a review.

That being said, good chance I'll do one in the morning before class. ^^;

Thanks for your review on the Greater Good. Most of the things that you disliked about it were done by intent.

The arc is as it is because it was written to satisfy Dr. Aeon's challenge.

I think that most players will dislike it, because it forces a character to do things he or she would not normally do.

Because of this I will most likely unpublish this arc, though I feel it met the nature of the challenge.

As an aside, I was actually complimented on the villain group. They looked alike by intent. They were brainwashed and mind controlled. The fact that some defended you at the end is a bug aka feature of MA. They were set at allies so they could stand around and party. Because of this the enemey Greater Good will attack them if they cross paths and they will defend themselves.

Thanks again for playing and reviewing.

I could use some good press on my two latest arcs:

The Warburg Connection
Arc ID: 364832
Global: @FredrikSvanberg
Level: 30-40
Keywords: Canon Related, Drama
Alan Desslock needs your help to handle some business in Warburg. What at first seems like normal spying and bloody murder turns out to be something much more personal. [Designed for VEAT play; other ATs play at their own risk. Contains EB/AVs.]

Arena
Arc ID: 390921
Global: @FredrikSvanberg
Level: 40-50
Keywords: Complex Mechanics, Drama, Romance
Description: Arena Gladiator fights have degenerated into mere propaganda in the cold war between the U.S. and the Rogue Isles. Arachnos has assigned you as security during the World Championship in St. Martial's Golden Giza arena. [Intended for VEATs. Contains AV/EBs. Warning: Highly Experimental.]

Thanks in advance.

If you want to run any of my other arcs as well, that's fine, but these are the ones I want to push right now.

Sorry guys, complications prevented me from getting an arc done in the here-and-now.

And, since I'm running on zero sleep, I doubt I'll be able to do one when I get home.

So I'm gonna postpone until tomorrow morning after work. At which time I should be able to do at least 2 arcs, forgoing any unexpected assignments from today.

I'll keep you all posted, in any case.

Heck, you're turning out more reviews than everyone else put together. Can't speak for everyone else, but *I* forgive you.

Reviewing:: The Consequences of War (227331, @Dalghryn)

@Mychyl

Playing as L38 Dark/Regen scrapper, old Heroic setting

~L40 due to arc sync

~*~

Yay, reliving Rikti Invasion 1.0 history. (I wasn't around when it went down the first time... I showed up in the time when the Crash Site was a desolate place full of nastiness and little else.)

So, Fireball's SG needs some backup. Whatever, the Brotherhood can lend me out for a few... we've got people to spare right now. Let's get underground and figure out what to do while Toasty works on the signal unjamming.

(Sorry, my first time dealing with a being made of pure flame. I'll lay off the jokes any time now... :P)

Also, nice summary of the War's start -- is this taken largely from the website, I wonder? As an FYI, assuming you were trying to do military time in the clue, it would be 0730 (or 1930, if it's PM) -- otherwise, including AM/PM would be useful. ^.~

As for the plug for the website, I doubt there's many who aren't familiar with the events, at least secondhand, but good plug for those few who need it.

~*~

...Is this before we could understand Rikti-speak? I zone in and see something in a combination of different character sets. I see Cyrillic, basic accented (almost any non-English Roman-alphabet language), even a couple Greek characters.

Oh goodie. And a UXB. Love those... sorta.

Hm... apparently Captain Superior heard the way to win a girl over is complimenting her. Works for my character. Too bad he looks like a kill stealer.

Weird... I read his briefing after I abandon him, and it looks like he was planning on taking off... but instead opted to stay? He's sitting at the entrance, either way.

In the middle of the battle, the chief starts randomly speaking English. Good... maybe that means they'll stop speaking their native language soon... so I can actually understand what they're saying.

I rescue Billy, who badmouths me... then apologizes... then loafs about, finally throwing a shuriken just in time to miss the last enemy on the map. Maybe I was overestimating his kill-stealing abilities?

And then Lazon called... and not exactly home... while I'm still down here. To tell me that they're trying to take out SG groups their way: bombs in the sewer. Well, these bombs won't be hurting any SG's ego anytime soon, so back to the surface to shower and check in. Wonder if SOLUS lets their associates use their showers, or if I should head back to the Brotherhood?

~*~

And now, I get to be a superhero hacker. Technology isn't precisely Sable's strong suit, but whatever, sounds simple enough. Find computers and upload until it eventually works.

And I get new backup this time. One of them even sounds like someone who won't steal my kills. We'll see.

~*~

I'm... not certain why I know so much about how well-suited Emp and Energy are suited personally. Though the audible clues sound like an example of professional compatibility.

It's VERY weird seeing a Rikti computer sitting around inside a damaged office building. Were they moving some of their tech to the surface, for a closer base to the action?

Seeing three of them, practically on top of each other, with a bunch of patrols nearby further confirms this possibility, at least in my mind.

I find Energy down in the tunnels, right next to the computer that actually works. During the ensuing ambush, I found him to be a very effective kill stealer. So I took him topside and abandoned him there. He seemed to take well to that, funnily enough.

I then find Empathy quickly, and it's time to head back to the surface.

In retrospect, now I know how well they get along personally.

~*~

And now I'm off to protect a lab under attack. Nothing too new about that, aside from the fact that THE ENTIRE WAR could hinge on my success. No pressure.

~*~

Save the girl, get the info, get her started on a prototype translator, and get a phone call. Bell Atlantic must love this guy.

SOLUS is under attack... that's exciting. Except for the part where it's not, because that's bad. Time to go help out with the base.

~*~

A whole slew of names just flew past me. I... go in, kick butt, save baby heroes, etc. Got that much.

~*~

I saved the maintenance guy, who wasn't a hero at all. Things go different in the SOLUS base, apparently... I don't think my base has any mundanes that do maintenance. Interesting.

Although that might explain why this map looks like any generic Crey lab. Seriously though, it'd be awesome if you actually could either build a custom map like with the base editor, or at least copy over your SG/VG base as a small map.

I find a... prince? OK, now I've seen it all. He's had enough... time to show him the door.

As an aside, in his description, you use the phrase "fighting on is a ball you should carry"... I understand what you mean, but perhaps the phrase is a bit awkward. Maybe replace "ball" with "burden"... see how that tickles you.

And the body count begins to mount... from the fact they share a tracker in the navbar, I'll assume that there's 5 more corpses somewhere in the base. Looks like SOLUS is gonna be recruiting, if enough of them survive to rebuild.

And then I find Commissioner G. He wants revenge on behalf of his rookies.

I pat him on the head and park him out of harm's way, of course.

I successfully drive off the attack, or at least I clear the map. According to the clues, the numbers are mounting and everyone's either dropping or escaping to fight another day. It looks like the Rikti have officially taken the base.

~*~

And now for the big finale. Joining the head honcho as he battles off their leader, whose name is a little too close to Hro'Dahz for my comfort.

Ah well. Let's do this.

~*~

I swear I've seen this map in the canon somewhere. Wish I could remember where...

More corpses. Gods, so many dead heroes...

I find Commissioner G again, and this time I don't have the heart to refuse him his vengeance. There's just so much carnage...

And then Lazon... Lazon... explodes? I save him, he flies off, and explodes? I... don't know what just happened, or rather, why he had trouble stabilizing his form.

We defeat the bos, watch Lazon's vidchip, and... well... I'm at a loss for words.

With a heavy heart, I return to the "contact" to complete the arc.

~*~

Storyline:: * * * * *

The story starts fairly basic, rehashing a known moment in history and trying to thwart the inevitable. Somewhere along the line, however, it becomes less about rehashing the past and actually becomes reliving the past. In the last two missions, every fallen hero was a personal failure, and when I rescued Commissioner G in the 5th mission, I actually felt his vengeance in me... which is why I couldn't deny him and just abandon him like I usually do with NPCs. I wanted him to get his revenge for every one of those fallen heroes. I actually started tearing up when Lazon died. It pulled me in, it held me close to the story, and it didn't let go.

Design:: * * * *

Everything fit so well together, especially using the blasted lab for the final mission. I think the only thing that could've made the design even better is if you could create a true base-like map for the last two missions. The heroes were compelling, even if Billy and the couple were a bit silly compared to the latter. All the clues, all the NPCs, everything fit well together.

The only thing that seemed off was the communicator subplot. (Perhaps the second arc addresses this, since it was a very quick real-time jump from giving the doctor the tech to saving [or trying to] the SOLUS base from half the Rikti fleet.) I also didn't get a chance to see your Vanguard, since they all died before I could reach them. I'm assuming you did a custom job on them, since the modern (stock) Vanguard weren't around as such back then?

Gameplay:: * * * * *

As I said under storyline, this arc brought me closer to the action of the 1st War than I'd been before, and made me feel the loss and failure of every single dead hero, even though I'd never met any of them before. I've never played through a story that made me feel quite so emotional towards the events and eventual outcome than I did with this one.

Detail:: * * * * *

You very clearly put a lot of time and attention into every little nook and cranny of this arc. It shows, and shows beautifully. Something tells me I'll be very glad to get to the second arc in this series, because I'll be waiting to see where the story goes from here.

Overall:: * * * * *

While SOLUS needs to start rebuilding, it'll have to look for heroes other than Sable for members. However, she'd be honored to help out, any chance she gets. Beautifully written, masterfully executed, with no flaws I could find to mar te masterpiece.

Looks like I'm going to be slowing down until Monday for certain.

On the bright side, I will definitely have plenty of time on Monday. Which means more massive arc review explosion then.

I should be able to get one done tomorrow, and one or two Sunday morning.

Until then... ^^;

Mychyl, thank you very much for the kind review. I immediately changed Prince Nigel's clue text from "ball" to "burden." Otherwise, some of your wording brings up a problem I've had since day one. What should I have the NPCs do? Originally, they followed aggressively, and I got slammed because they did, in fact, kill steal. So I backed most of them completely down so that didn't follow at all, but had other things to do, at which time the cries of "it's too hard without help" came flying. So, my compromise was in making them follow on devensive, so they wouldn't be quite the kill stealers while still being around to help.

Unfortunately, the AI is still pretty lousy, leaving the NPCs actions dependant upon whether or not the Rikti choose to attack the NPCs or not. It sounds as if they pretty much left Billy alone, so he just stood around until he threw the shuriken. As for Cap... well, he's programmed to follow on defensive. Why he hung back, I have no clue.

I have PoliceWoman to thank for suggesting the burned out tech map, and I'm with you, I wish we could customize them better. Unfortunately, I don't see a better solution than what I used.

Anyway, it sounds as if it played out well for you, which was the plan. I look forward to reading what you think about "Casualties..." Thanks again!