Dr. Aeon's Challenge: A Player's Perspective

And it's time for me to finish up with the last of the first architect challenge (that I have any interest in playing, no offense to those I didn't get to) with the winning arc,

Out of Place #350577 by @Minimalist

Evil For the Greater Good: In this arc, you're helping a captive Dr. Aeon investigate an event called Ghostmarch, where ghosts walk around in an area for a while and then disappear. It turns out that they are actually from a perpendicular dimension (not parallel) and our universes are intersecting in what will be a very explosive event. In order to prevent half of our world from being destroyed, I help Dr. Aeon use his device to channel all of the energy into the other dimension - which will most likely destroy that dimension completely. But hey, it's not like we know anything about them. It's a very morally ambiguous and tough decision - and the decision is made for you, unless you quit the arc altogether. That, and the fact that you're working with a known villain.

The Arc as an Arc: This arc is well written, with a lot of flavor. The first mission sets you in the middle of the Ghostmarch festival, with all manners of civilian activities, one of the most interesting (mostly) non-combat missions I've seen to date. Which unfortunately when the enemies do show up, they are only worth 1 XP. There's also a lot of interesting objectives throughout the arc and it's all well written with a lot of humor from Dr. Aeon, especially in the busy texts. It's been too long since I've played a lot of these first challenge arcs, so I will forgo the final thoughts post, but I really enjoyed this one and I think it is a good choice for the winning arc.

#CoHMA Running Out of Place # 350577 by @ Minimalist, winner of the first Aeon Challenge.
#CoHMA M1: Dr. Aeon has me investigating an event called Ghostmarch - where presumably fake ghosts march around and people made a festival.
#CoHMA M1: Though it's a heroic arc, I'm working with Dr. Aeon under a supervisory capacity - I'm watching him while he tries to "help".
#CoHMA M1: So far it's a noncombat map with a lot of ghosts walking around, as well as tourists and photographers. And Dr. Aeon to escort.
#CoHMA M1: There's a bunch of crates to click on, one gave me a clue, and I'm supposed to escort Aeon to one of them, but there's no marker.
#CoHMA M1: Awww, why can't I attack the mime?
#CoHMA M1: I clicked on one of the boxes, and some more solid, more violent ghosts appeared, as well as another hero to help... somewhere.
#CoHMA M1: The hero I guess is required, though I've taken care of all the interloping ghosts first.
#CoHMA: And the ally patch hit this arc HARD - the ghosts give 1 xp each. @ lvl 39
#CoHMA M1: Dr. Aeon theorizes that these ghosts are from a perpendicular dimension, and WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! A little overenthusiastic?

#CoHMA M2: Minimalist reminds me that he is the king of busy dialogs - Dr. Aeon pondering improving his allowed weapon - a swiss army knife.
#CoHMA M2: The perpendicular universe only intersects ours at this one point and time, the hero we met senses subatomic particles. Really?
#CoHMA M2: How to describe how different a perpendicular dimension is? Here's how Dr. Aeon puts it...
#CoHMA M2 ... " They could be waving "hello", but we would see it as "skyscraper (mother died 15 years ago) flibbydib""

#CoHMA M3: Total nerd joke: " I am three point one four steps ahead of everyone else (rounding off). I run circles around them!"
#CoHMA M3: Gah, it's the giant 5 floor, green fog map of DOOOM. And I have Neutrina and Aeon to find to stop this dimension collision.
#CoHMA M3: Found Neutrina surrounded by pink radiation clouds. She spokequicklyaboutdr.aeonandranoff.
#CoHMA M3: Found Neutrina again, well most of her anyway, though it sounds like I should have found Aeon by now, which I haven't.
#CoHMA M3: Found Dr. Aeon, time to get some readings!
#CoHMA M3: Found Neutrina, or what's left of her anyway. Named ........., and looks just like the perpendicular entities and she attacked me

#CoHMA M4: Finally got to the "Evil for the greater good" part of the arc - we're shunting all the energy into the perpendicular dimension.
#CoHMA M4: Which will destroy their entire world most likely, but will save half of ours.
#CoHMA M4: interesting map with a clickie chase, the return of Neutrina, and a fight to the finish with Aeon making friendly banter.
#CoHMA M4: And of course, Aeon so kindly reminds me of all the people we just destroyed.

I'm back in the game just in time, I will attempt to review any announced nominees for the newest Aeon Challenge. And if you want me to try to review yours before the deadline, just post a request here, though there are no guarantees, I will get to them as soon as I have time. I still need to make some Praetorians

I've entered "Splintered Shields" (#253991), or maybe not as there was a snafu with the instructions (which I did try to correct).

I plan to enter: The Vigilante - 395861 in Dr. Aeon's latest challenge.

You played the original version of this arc (The Greater Good), but it has changed a lot, so if you have time on would appreciate feedback on this version.

On to the first arc for the third Aeon Challenge, even though it's not a new arc, just one that fits the criteria already.

Splintered Shields #253991 by @Venture

Fall from grace and Redemption: This arc goes for both concepts in one place, although in my opinion, this arc isn't really about the fall or rise, but about what happens afterwards. You're investigating a Longbow officer who, it turns out, is smuggling drugs to the Rogue Isles to turn a profit. And during this investigation, you keep running into an Arachnos agent who is actually looking out for someone besides himself and trying to stop this smuggling ring for all the right reasons. It ends badly for Livingston, the Longbow Officer, as he treats himself to the Ballista process with deadly results. Meanwhile, Kobushi's fate is more up in the air as he becomes hunted by Arachnos, but seems to still harbor heroic intentions.

The Arc as an Arc: I enjoyed the arc quite a bit, even the Malta in the last mission wasn't too bad, as many more annoying mobs were replaced by slightly less annoying, but still thematic, customs. Even though what I assume was meant to be a sapper-lite was still pretty effective.

As usual, my as-I-go tweets are below.

#CoHMA Playing Splintered Shields #253991 by Venture, being submitted to Dr. Aeon's 3rd challenge.
#CoHMA Contact is a longbow operative who has some hard feelings towards Vanguard.
#CoHMA M1: Off to take down Operative Kobushi who's attacking an Independence Port base.
#CoHMA M1: Hmm... the longbow here are hostile to me. I guess they weren't told I was coming.
#CoHMA M1: Oh, she's mad at those Longbow for shooting at me. Suspended *without* pay. That'll show them!

#CoHMA M2: Off to meet with Captain Livingston. I presume things won't go as planned.
#CoHMA M2: mission popup showed me that the contact's initials are WMD, also Livingston's first initials are AV...I've got a bad feeling...
#CoHMA M2: This time Longbow are friendly, though the Family aren't as much. Then again, the candy canes are doing good on their own.
#CoHMA M2: Livingston proudly displays AV in his name, though he's a lowly Lieutenant at the moment, and apologizes to me.
#CoHMA M2: And Arachnos arrive on the scene. The plot thickens... or maybe just congeals... nevermind.
#CoHMA M2: I keep reading Kobushi's name as Kobayashi.
#CoHMA M2: So, Livingston has some dirty cops under his care and he wants more time to smoke them out... what to do...

#CoHMA M3: WMD thinks AV's whole squad is corrupt, and I'm off to help a three office investigation of his most recently claimed evidence.
#CoHMA M3: So Longbow AV Livingston is dirty - smuggling pedestrian drugs to Rogue Isles, and Arachnos Kobushi is good spider drug cop guy.

#CoHMA M4: That was over sooner than expected. Went to Rogue Isles to find Livingston, found some data, some spiders, and a few longbow.

#CoHMA M5: Livingston's becoming a Ballista and getting protection from...dun Dun DUN... Malta.
#CoHMA M5: Malta is actually a custom Malta-lite group, with tactical officers a sapper-lite kin custom, a MM custom, and maybe more.

Thanks for the review, glad you liked it!

Well I finally feel like my entry is ready. I don't think there's anything left that I can do to improve it any further. Think I've caught all the spelling grammar errors. Had to use contractions and rephrase entire paragraphs to make them fit in the word limits. With the bugs and things within MA we all know it can be a challenge within itself.

My missions are bug free as possible. I test them thoroughly and if there's an impassable bug then I rewrite the mission. Many mission rewrites were done in the production of this ARC. This doesn't mean a new bug could rear its head of course. All text was run through a spelling/grammar checker which are as accurate as a cross eyed sharpshooter.

The story is called 'The Vengeful Heart'. It is about a hero who through a series of circumstances finds himself becoming more of a vigilante than a hero. His actions might even be considered villainous to some.

I wrote the story specifically for this challenge. Normally this wouldn't be the sort of material I'd write. Honestly I feel it came out better than expected. They say if you don't write comedy for a challenge then you're shooting yourself in the foot. Probably true but I chose not to write a comedic entry. Tried to give this a darker feel like some of the darker comic books.

It only lists 1 custom group in MA. Another bug- but there's 4 custom groups and in upwards of 20 custom characters. All original designs. No elite bosses or AV's as this is a contest and more about the story. The enemies are challenging but I feel well balanced. The only custom powers are on the bosses which had to be done to stop a bug.

Your main enemy is an alien by the name of Darkhosis. He is the leader of an organization known as Crush. They are a collection of alien villains in search of wealth and power by any means necessary.

The Crush group I tried to make very unique. Think of them as aliens with obvious martial arts/military influences. They are thieving scavengers whose technology is a conglomeration of all they've stolen.

Author: @Jinkobi
ARC Title: 'The Vengeful Heart'
ARC ID: 454861
Length: 4 Missions

Designed for SOLO play. Doing it as a team wouldn't make sense. Any level can complete my arc and have tested it on level 7-45 but it is best experienced 30-50.

Morality-Due to the contest I really didn't know how to judge this. You are meant to start as a hero and are a vigilante by the end. Suggested alignment is heroic since you start as a hero.

Ingame description:
You are a hero torn between right and wrong. There are times when one must make choices. With thoughts of revenge filling your mind. When do you cross the line from Hero to Vigilante? Dr. Aeon's Third Challenge contest entry. Entered: October 4th, 2010


Final notes:
In mission 4 due to the random spawning of objects. I added 2 Optional escort quests. Finding the objects a bit hard to find even right under my nose this allows you to mark it with the optional escort. The escorts don't have to be completed to finish the mission but they do add another layer to the story.

'Eya,

I finished the 'first draft'* of my arc for the 3rd Aeon Challenge and I'd really appreciate a review if you have time:
"Who Dares Wins" (Arc ID #454805, Rogue alignment)

Level range is 30-35 and it should be fairly easy to solo. More info about the arc in this thread.

* The arc is basically complete, but I'm open to suggestions / comments. The souvenir is not yet finished (I'll probably create it tomorrow).


Thanks in advance,

-- Z.

Continuing onto the third challenge, which is another old arc, and one that I played and reviewed earlier in this thread as The Greater Good from the first challenge, Arrowrose's

The Vigilante # 395861 by @Gypsy Rose

The Fall From Grace: In this arc, you are joining a Robin Hood-type organization called The Greater Good, also you're being covertly asked for help by the very same greeter of said organization. Angela Goodheart has lost her brother who joined recently and needs someone more on the inside to help find him. Throughout the arc, the player does some less than noble acts to get into the organization, and at the same time finds out that The Greater Good is up to no good. As far as the player falling from grace, there's a bank robbery, a jailbreak, and a kidnapping. It may just be the vigilante in me, but it never really seemed to sell these as being that serious. There's just the reassurance that it's for "the greater good" (which turns out to just be for "The Greater Good") and Angela's reassuring smile - which used to be a form of mind control, but that seems to have been removed. There just seems to be a lack of deciding to do it for the right reasons, and instead you're just going along with it. And in the end, you were really doing the right thing. It might be more of a kicker if Mr. Richardson turned out to be more or less innocent, which would make missions 1 and 3 more wrongful. Currently he seems to be an accomplice in the villainy.

The Arc as an Arc: I think I tend to write more for arcs that I like, but there's just something missing that I can't quite put my finger on. I did enjoy playing this arc, technically three times. Once in its original version for the first challenge, once during this week's MA Superteam, and once solo for better notes. The one thing that the MA team noticed was what felt like an abundance of crumpled notes left all over the place. And what I noticed in my tweets, is that mission three felt like it was backtracking in the narrative. There's not really any new information, and you're doing essentially the same thing you were in the first mission - committing a crime for the greater good to get into The Greater Good. I think it might actually work better to switch the second and third missions, though it may just be dependent on your own moral compass whether kidnapping or a jailbreak is more unlawful. I also feel that the missing brother, Victor, should be more present. Possibly making an appearance in the Zig as the third mission, or in the final mission.

As usual, my running tweets are below. Good luck in the contest! Oh, and I forgot to say it but good luck to Venture as well!

#CoHMA Playing The Vigilante # 395861 by @ Gypsy Rose entered into Aeon's 3rd challenge, and kinda my 3rd runthrough
#CoHMA Contact is Angela Goodheart, previously mind controlling recruiter for "The Greater Good" now greeter with an agenda.
#CoHMA And "The Greater Good" is Robin Hood-type hero org, my first job is to rob a bank controlled by a greedy rich man.
#CoHMA M1: My assurances that I'm doing the right thing are "He's a very rich, very greedy man" and "We'll make sure the money.. does good."
#CoHMA M1: It seems there have been changes already since Saturday. Longbow has been replaced by custom bank guards.
#CoHMA M1: Found a crumpled note in a safe saying "Keep this safe - JW" Not sure why this one should be crumpled though if it's "safe".

#CoHMA M2: Off to rescue the Robin Hood of Greater Good - J. Worthington, sworn enemy of bank owner Mr. Richardson, but working together?
#CoHMA M2: These Psi-cops are killing me, maybe I should have brought something with *some* protection to psi.
#CoHMA M2: Psi-cops were challenging, but fun. Forgot how it is to play staying on my toes (+0x3 btw) Lot of death, but I've got RotP.

#CoHMA M3: Off to kidnap Nikki - spoiled daughter of Mr. Richardson. Also found curious note from contact's missing brother in JW's cell.
#CoHMA M3: Problem is, not sure how this mission furthers the plot, seems like back to square one with just another money job.
#CoHMA M1 is the setup with the bank job, M2 frees JW and has first clue of missing bro, but M3 is a kidnapping for money, like M1.

#CoHMA M3: found appt book with meetings with JW - which we already suspected in M1.
#CoHMA M3: There is a nice little joke about all the crumpled paper lying around. Though I passed a glowie that I need to find...
#CoHMA M3: And another crumpled note from JW just saying "You will be sorry" but no way of knowing who it is to. Me? Bro? Richardson?

#CoHMA M4: I'm officially being inducted into "The Greater Good", contact thinks he's up to no good, but I need to check to make sure.
#CoHMA M4: Note to self: don't keep computer passwords written on a piece of paper marked "Passwords".
#CoHMA M4: Found the two sentences that explain everything: JW is drugging and brainwashing heroes to work for his own greed.
#CoHMA M4: Fought J. Worthington, released gas to free his mind-controlled minions, and contact says bro is a-ok.

I feel that my entry is ready to go, I just need a "pro" to go through it and proof it for me:

When Madness Reigns Over Reason

Arc number: 452196

Alignment: Rogue

I'd love some feedback on the arc I'm working on for the challenge, The Sinister Song - #454892. If you have the time. I know I'm pretty busy but I'm trying to get it shaped up. :-)

It's more of a feeling. I did follow that you're helping her to find her brother, which is why I suggested that you make him a stronger presence in the arc. As you say, he's the motivating factor, but he only feels like a side note. You might want to think about making him the driving motivation for Angela to reach out to someone to help her

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArrowRose Thank you so much for playing this arc again and providing such detailed feedback. The only part of your comments that I don't understand is what I quoted above. The reason you are going along with all of this is to help Angela. Her brother has disappeared and she asks you to infiltrate the organization to help her find out what has happened. This motivation is provided via notes that she slips you after each briefing which are contained in the mission begin clues. I am curious as to whether you missed these or if something in them should be changed to make this clearer. Thanks again

btw, I fixed the contacts accent in my arc. just so you know.

*waits on Bubba's critique before marking it as final*

*points to siggy*

I have decided to enter one of my own arcs in this challenge, and I would appreciate the feedback as much as any of you. I'd especially like to know how well I do on making the player villain feel like he's doing good at the end, and any suggestions on how to make that point stronger. Thanks

A Clone of Your Own? #453091 by Bubbawheat Level range 30+

Hey Bubb!

Thanks for talking with me last night. Your feedback is so very much appreciated.

Sorry if I was a bit distracted. I scrolled back throgh MA Arc Finder chat and saw you were talking to me, lol. Very sorry. While you were talking with me Ash was giving me feedback and I was giving him feedback on his ARC. Didn't even realize you were doing my ARC until you commented.

Going to go on Twitter and look you up since you said you were tweeting the run through.

Anyway just wanted to say thanks again.

A few things I hope to explain. You commented that the sentence 'It seems even villains have their own version of sidekicks. Wasn't needed. That sentence is to let you know Steelthread's relation to Darkhosis.

As you follow the story it's meant to show that Darkhosis and Steelthread were close.

Off to twitter

Just went to twitter that's great how you give the live feedback!

LOL- Why are you hung up on Highwing? If my memory is correct. He is only mentioned in a brief description of Bowstar. It is only there to give depth. There is an entire first story which involves Highwing. It was called Sidekicks Forever which I unpublished to redo it entirely. It's like a prequel to the Vengeful Heart. When I was writing The Vengeful Heart I purposely left the Highwing reference in the description so I could tie it in later. Also just for more backstory.

Highwing is dead so he couldn't make an appearance =) Killed by Bowstar herself in Sidekicks Forever! I know you're not suppose to know all that though. Highwing was Bowstar's older brother who'd been brainwashed into becoming a villain. He was also much older than Bowstar and your first sidekick. Who'd grown up into a hero but as mentioned earlier became a villain due to mind control.

Last map. Using The Fab was a hard decision but it has an atmosphere that I was unable to find in another map. You're SO right that finding an object on that map sucks. So I added 2 escort quests to help find the objects. This way a person has 2 chances instead of one to locate things more easily.

The reason you are collecting the object 'Bowstar's Bow'. Due to bugs I had to make Darkhosis follow you around instead of my original plans. The situation is like you're wanting to find out more about Bowstar's death. In the way a person would want to know more about a loved ones death. But the more Darkhosis talks the more angry you get. A build up to a conclusion was my intent. Also you're taking away evidence and acting as judge/jury which I thought might strengthen the vigilante you'd become. When you take him to the transport that's like your final decision to cross the line completely. But before you are allowed to even make a decision Darkhosis attacks.

Can't wait for the servers to go back up- you've given me some great ideas.

Last night I ran the next arc on my list, Ramification TM's

The Vengeful Heart #454861 by @Jinkobi

The Player's Fall From Grace: In this arc, the player is drawn to the path of the Vigilante when your nemesis Darkosis kills your sidekick Bowstar who you raised since she was a child. Though there doesn't seem to be much of a character arc as you are out for blood from the very beginning even before Bowstar gets killed. This arc also uses a device which is very hit or miss with me - it shoehorns you as a player into a very specific role. And this is where most of the fall from grace comes from. It's almost as if you are playing someone else's character and are finding out what happened to them.

The Arc as an Arc: This arc gives you an entire past: a sidekick you raised as a child, a nemesis, the contact mentions you've been on the path of a vigilante for a long time, and you are told that you've killed every enemy instead of arresting them. It might be better if I was warned at the beginning about this, or even make it so that I'm playing a holographic recreation and actually am another character, but I felt a little overwhelmed at all the information to process at the beginning of the first mission, and as a player, I saw no reason to kill everyone in the first mission and was surprised when I was told that my character made this decision against the contact's orders, and without any reason that I as a player saw. But other than that, the story was told pretty well, though I was a little jarred by the occasional popup of all yellow text, or the busy dialog in all red.

Before we get to the tweets, I get the chance to make a couple responses first.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ramification TM A few things I hope to explain. You commented that the sentence 'It seems even villains have their own version of sidekicks. Wasn't needed. That sentence is to let you know Steelthread's relation to Darkhosis. As you follow the story it's meant to show that Darkhosis and Steelthread were close.

I think you could still do with rewording it to show that they are close without feeling like an explanation of villainous sidekicks.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ramification TM LOL- Why are you hung up on Highwing? If my memory is correct. He is only mentioned in a brief description of Bowstar. It is only there to give depth. There is an entire first story which involves Highwing. It was called Sidekicks Forever which I unpublished to redo it entirely. It's like a prequel to the Vengeful Heart. When I was writing The Vengeful Heart I purposely left the Highwing reference in the description so I could tie it in later. Also just for more backstory.

It was a combination of a couple things. First, I noticed that you left the important bosses in the main villain group - I fought Steelthread and Darkosis many more times than I was supposed to. Second, I happened to check his and Bowstar's bios since he had a specific name rather than a typical minion name, and caught that he had an important background tied to the story, so I thought it was going to be explained in this arc since I had no idea that there was a prequel that had been deleted. Some people don't check bios, but a lot of people do.

And as far as the last mission goes, the fact that it was late was part of the reason I wasn't happy to see a large map with several chained objectives. Of course, many people also don't like large map with several chained objectives either. I know it's harder to tell the story the way you want to, but you might want to consider condensing it some, or removing some of the chains (like maybe allowing Bowstar's bow to be found out of order, and rewording a clue or dialog so that Darkosis's mentions where it was regardless of whether you had found it yet or not.)

And finally, tweets below, good luck in the contest!

#CoHMA Running The Vengeful Heart # 454861 by @ Jinkobi submission in Aeon's 3rd challenge.
#CoHMA M1: Ooh, contact is Praetorian PD, John Armitage (prolly not a third) first real post-GR arc.
#CoHMA M1: I see I inherited a sidekick who's leaving me: Bowstar, and a nemesis: Darkhosis.
#CoHMA M1: Oh a note in my pocket! How did that get there? Oh it's from Bowstar my "sidekick" she went on ahead (or was it a he?)
#CoHMA M1: Fought a boss called Highwing who's description says they were my former sidekick. I've got a detailed past I know nothing about.
#CoHMA M1: I see, Bowstar is Highwing's sister, though the only way to know that is by reading their bios... so far.
#CoHMA M1: Also fought Steelthread, I think they're not supposed to be mixed in with <Crush>
#CoHMA M1: And there's my nemesis Darkhosis, who falls quicker than his two underlings.
#CoHMA M1: I can never get enough of the destroyed lab map. Just love falling through the broken elevator. Simple, but fun.
#CoHMA M1: I guess I got carried away with all those Steelthreads and killed on of them, I think it was because he was too chatty.
#CoHMA M1: I'm not sure how I got pigeonholed into killing *everyone* in the last mission...

#CoHMA M2: And now <Crush> is taking revenge... by taking over a power plant? Bowstar went on ahead and hasn't been heard from.
#CoHMA M2: Patrols are talking about a bomb...uh...oh...
#CoHMA M2: When I see "Steelthread" I think "Steelclaw thread" which is something completely different.
#CoHMA M2: And guess where I found Bowstar? In a body bag.
#CoHMA M2: Apparently I'm feeling rage for Bowstar, the sidekick I met last mission that's been my sidekick since her childhood.

#CoHMA M3: Kill ship's commander? contact told me not to kill, and I didn't even know the ship had a commander.
#CoHMA M3: I thought I was just here to serve some papers and make some arrests.
#CoHMA M3: I bet the commander is Highwing I've seen so many times already. The surprise betrayal I never knew existed.

#CoHMA M4: contact "you killed everyone and want revenge on Darkhosis. Absolutely not, But here's exactly where he's going to be and when."
#CoHMA M4: So, obviously the next mission is to attack the PPD and take out Darkhosis. Highwing still hasn't shown up, last chance...
#CoHMA M4: So... Darkhosis is following me... for now, and I'm trying to find Bowstar's bow. I don't get it.
#CoHMA M4: I'm supposed to lead Darkhosis to a transport ship, then kill him and find a bodybag... on a huge map. Oh geez
#CoHMA M4: All of the police vehicles lying around are a nice touch, though the Arachnos doors give it an odd vibe.
#CoHMA M4: And I guess Highwing was just a standard boss. Seemed awfully story-oriented not to show up.

Hey Bubba. I've gotten back into my reviewer's shoes and if you want feedback on your arc you can drop it over thisaway and I'll take a look.

If you have the time I'd appreciate it if you took a look at Operation Fair Trade. I'm not going to be submitting it, as I don't want to participate in Mission Architect contests, so there's no rush.

Interestingly enough, I saw your new post and just submitted my arc to CoHMR. Question: Is Fair Trade in the spirit of the challenge and you just prefer not to submit it, or is it just an arc?

Who Dares Win #454805 by @Zaphir

The Villain Reedeems: In this arc, you play the role of a Sky Raider Captain who is planning a raid on the Terra Volta core. Throughout the arc, he schemes against Crey to get supplies for the raid, plots against the Freakshow to prevent any interference, gets betrayed by his own Sky Raiders, who are working with the Rikti - a common enemy, and he ends up sacrificing himself in the end to protect Paragon City. A fully fleshed out character that does feel like he redeems himself in the end.

The Arc as an Arc: I thought this was a very interesting device for the arc. Being warned at the arc description, I was aware from the beginning that the actions were not my character, but a recreation of another character and for me it worked well, making the character interesting while not feeling like my own character's decisions were being compromised. There is a lot of text, and it is all well written and interesting. I really enjoyed this arc and hope it does well in the contest.

Good luck, and my as-I-go tweets are below as usual.

#CoHMA Playing Who Dares Win # 454805 by @ Zaphir entered in Aeon's Third Challenge.
#CoHMA This sounds like an interesting arc told in first person as a Sky Raider Captain.
#CoHMA M1 Seems this is a Sky Captain in charge of a Terra Volta raid, and this is his holographic recording of the events.
#CoHMA M1: Part one of his plan is to get some technology from Crey using the help of a mole.
#CoHMA M1: The Mole: Lt. Stavros is awfully well read and enjoys spouting famous quotes.
#CoHMA M1: Interesting, destroyed a containment generator and released a group of DE - friendly to me.
#CoHMA M1: Now I (as the captain) have a way into TV, a way to protect myself, and a way to transport the core out. Good to go.

#CoHMA M2: I (as the captain) talk about my time in the Rikti war through the mission clue, though my current task is to preempt some freaks
#CoHMA M2: The way to stop the Freaks? Humiliation. Namely, plant some fear inducing drugs on their leader - who's afraid of bees.

#CoHMA M3: Looks like there's betrayal afoot. Our hangar with our supplies is wide open and unguarded, and my people aren't responding.
#CoHMA M3: our office is empty, except for some clues and dead bodies. And a hero has shown up to investigate... great.

#CoHMA M4: Nice mini-explanation of why sky raider porters can teleport much better than players.
#CoHMA M4: So now it's time for revenge on the Sky Raider betrayers. They're <Renegade Sky Raiders>
#CoHMA M4: Took out the three Captains who sold "me" out to the Rikti, now on to the last one who I think is heading to Terra Volta already.

#CoHMA M5: Finishing the Terra Volta trial tri-fecta with Rikti, having fought Freaks and Sky Raiders already.
#CoHMA M5: And this is where "I" go good. The Rikti want to destroy the reactor... I just wanted to steal it.
#CoHMA M5: Defeated the leader, and activated the bomb. No time or expertise to disarm, but there's a porter on my back and.. I know a place
#CoHMA All in all, not a bad story, quite a good ending. I enjoyed it.