If I must...
Yo momma so fat Atlas HANDED her the Top Dog badge rather than risk her getting it herself.
Yo momma so fat she brought a Cook Book to fight Lusca.
Yo momma so nasty the fires are still burning years later in Boomtown 'cause she ate a bean burrito there and used the john.
Yo momma so stanky heroes give her a hug as training for a sewer run.
Yo momma is such a tramp they gave her an honorary membership to the Disease of the Month Club.
Yo momma is so nasty she gave a venereal disease to Kraken.
Yo momma is so fat she slipped on the ice during the Rescue Baby New Year mission and Footstomped the entire map.
Yo momma is so fat the Fifth Column spent the past years safely hidden in her rolls.
Yo momma is so fat the Vampires during the Halloween Event call her Buffet.
Yo momma is so fat the Vahzilok could only harvest her organs if they used mining equipment and dynamite.
Yo momma is so stupid she couldn't understand why her boobs were the same size after slotting her enhancements.
Yo momma is so fat everyone ELSE has to suffer through system load times when she enters their zone.
Yo momma is so fat Captain Mako writes her once a week with invitations to dinner.
Yo momma is so stupid she told the person who asked her to sidekick him that she didn't HAVE Martial Arts as her primary.
Yo momma is so ugly any zone she enters is a PvP zone.
Yo momma is so ugly she violates the Teen Rating.
Yo momma is so fat she can only be rendered in 8 bit graphics.
Yo momma is so ugly the game automatically renders her with censorship distortion.. and it wasn't programmed to be able to do that.
Yo momma is so stanky the cockroaches all run from the sewers when she enters.
Yo momma is so ugly she can only get a date in Dark Astoria.
Yo momma is so stanky Hellions put out their fires whenever they know she's around... just in case.
Yo momma is so fat she uses Devouring Earth as garnish.
Yo momma is so lazy sleeping drains her endurance bar.
Yo momma is so fat any physical blow she takes acts as a PBAoE attack on everyone around her as the impact tremor makes its way around her body.
My mind wanders so often you've probably seen its picture on milk cartons. - Me... the first person version of the third person Steelclaw
[ QUOTE ]
Yo momma is so fat the Vahzilok could only harvest her organs if they used mining equipment and dynamite.
[/ QUOTE ]
Oh snap!
I got the best one:
PvP
[ QUOTE ]
I got the best one:
PvP
[/ QUOTE ]
Weak chi. :<
An Ice tank, Stone tank and Fire tank walk into a bar...
...
...
The fire tank takes damage.
Satesman is walking along the fence dividing Paragon City from the Rogue Isles (it's a joke, so I can ignore in-game geography!). He comes to a section of fence that has been knocked down - obviously from villain-side - and signs of a big party. There's a burnt-out fire, beer, wine and liquor bottles, cigaratte butts, used needles, used condoms...just trash everywhere.
While he's sitting there fuming, Statesman sees Lord Recluse on the other side of the fence. "Hey, Recluse, get over here!" calls Statesman. Lord Recluse ambles over. "What do you want?" He asks Statesman.
"Well, look here! Your people have broken down this fence and made a huge mess here in Paragon City!" Statesman replies. "I want you to get someone out here, clean up this junk and repair this fence."
"Oh really?" sneers Lord Recluse. "Well, it looks to *me* like there were some "heroes" (snort) having a lame-[censored] party on *your* side of the fence, they looked over here and saw how much fun we have, so they broke down the fence and joined the winning team. *I* think *you* should fix the fence and clean up your own crap!"
"What? What?" splutters Statesman. "This is obviously the work of your people. Cleans this up - now! - or I will get a lawyer and sue you!"
"Bwahahahahaaaa!" roars Lord Recluse. "Where are *you* going to get a lawyer?!?!"
[ QUOTE ]
So a Fire/Kin Controller, a Granite Tanker, and a Trick Arrow Defender walk into a bar...
[/ QUOTE ]
...the bartender asks the tanker, "Why the stone-y look?"
...the bartender says to the controller, "You're hot. You really move me."
my lil RWZ Challenge vid
[ QUOTE ]
An Ice tank, Stone tank and Fire tank walk into a bar...
...
...
The fire tank takes damage.
[/ QUOTE ]
Shenanigans! Stone Tanks can't walk.
Paragon Unleashed, Unleash Yourself!
What did the Tank say to the Freakshow?
/e Taunt1
A stalker walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "LOL, stalkers."
Synapse is running at roughly mach 1.5 through the inner city when he notices a glimmer in the trash clogging the gutter. He screeches to a halt and zips back to see it's an old lamp of some kind. He picks it up and wipes it off... sure enough a Genie emerges.
"Greetings, oh Master... I am here to grant you three wishes! But first.. I sense that Countess Crey is your darkest and most hated enemy. Know that these wishes I grant are CURSED wishes! Whatever you wish for.. be assured that Countess Crey shall receive TWICE the amount!"
Synapse grinned eagerly. "Excellent! I wish for twenty million dollars!"
There was a clap of thunder and the Genie raised his hands to the heavens. "It is done! But realize that right now your hated Countess Crey has received FORTY million dollars!"
"Yeah, yeah.. I get it... no problem," Synapse nodded. "For my second wish.. I wish for a beautiful woman to be waiting for me when I get home.. totally in love with me and 100% loyal."
The heavens rumbled with the force of the magic. "It is done! But Countess Crey has two perfect male specimens waiting for her at her home, both of them willing to do her slightest whim and devoted to her utterly."
Synapse waved a hand dismissively. "Whatever... now... for my final wish... I wish for you to beat me Half to Death..."
My mind wanders so often you've probably seen its picture on milk cartons. - Me... the first person version of the third person Steelclaw
Last night my Contact sent me on a Mission to Investigate some brutal slayings over in Brickstown.
The bodies were found in bathtubs filled with milk & sliced bananas.
The PPD think it's a cereal killer.
Things in CHV that sound dirty, but (probably) aren't:
- "Hold on tight, I'm coming!"
- "Careful, Carnies can really suck!"
- "Hey, you through with that Madam yet?" "I'm really close to finishing her off!"
- "Man, I need Stamina, I just peter out too quick."
- "I hear ya, I had to rest after that Dark Ring Mistress went down."
- "I was beginning to think we'd all wind up face down!"
- "Thankfully I was able to finish her off with a Power Thrust."
- "Hey, I told you we all needed to pull. Remember when I said 'I"ll use my wand on her'"?
- "Nah, pulling is for wimps, just get in there and everyone start swinging."
- "Okay, this is it. Let's make that final push."
- "Well, at least we should send the Stalker into the next spawn first. We need to get her from behind."
-"Yeah, you distract her while I touch the glowy! F7!"
[ QUOTE ]
Last night my Contact sent me on a Mission to Investigate some brutal slayings over in Brickstown.
The bodies were found in bathtubs filled with milk & sliced bananas.
The PPD think it's a cereal killer.
[/ QUOTE ]
Yeah.. they caught that guy... his brother was the Popcorn Murderer... he was arrested for A Salt and Buttering. (assault and battery.. it's funnier when said aloud)
My mind wanders so often you've probably seen its picture on milk cartons. - Me... the first person version of the third person Steelclaw
Countess Crey had finally done it! Finally, Muahahahahaaaa!!!! Her minions had made the perfect clone of Synapse!
But it turned out the clone wasn't quite perfect. It was Synapse in all ways, with all the hero's powers. But it had one flaw. The clone spoke only in the most vile, foul, invective-laced language imaginable. Language so lecherous a sailor would blush. Speech so curse-filled that even George Carlin would say, "Hey buddy, watch the language!" Diatribes so debased...well, you get the picture.
Flying into a rage at the failure, Countess Crey made her first and last mistake. In her wrath, the Countess pushed the clone Synapse out of the 59th floor of the Crey Industries headquarters building. The clone, of course, died.
Then the PPD finally had her. Countess Crey was arrested a short while later, and currently sits in The Zig, awaiting a hearing.
The charge?
Making an obscene clone fall.
An elec/elec Blaster is sitting at a bar next to the Monkey Fights in Pocket D. He tells the bartender "I think I lost one of my electrons."
The bartender says "Yeah?"
The Blaster says "Yep, I'm positive."
<Cricket noise>
Hello...? Is this thing on?
I wonder what it's like to be a super hero.
I wonder where I'd go if I could fly around downtown.
From some other planet, I get this funky high on a yellow sun,
Boy I bet my friends will all be...stunned, they're stunned !
- Matchbox 20
The day has come. The final showdown with the Rikti is here at last. Against the untold vastness of the Rikti war machine stands The Freedom Phalanx and all of Paragon City's ranks of heroes...and many villains as well.
It could end only one way: one world standing, one world fallen.
And so Statesman arrived to lead the massed defenders of Paragon City. A Statesman outfitted in a new, completely red uniform.
"Why is your uniform completely red now?" asked Miss Liberty.
"I now wear red so that should I be injured in the upcoming battle, none shall see blood upon me and thus be dismayed," answered the stalwart defender of Earth.
The Freedom Phalanx oohed and aahed at this marvelous display of leadership acumen.
Suddenly, the war wall forcefields shut down, and all could see the foe. From all sides, to the reach of the horizon, the sky was filled with Rikti ships of all sizes and configurations.
Upon seeing the terrible spectacle laid about above him, Statesman flew straightaway to...the tailor. The immortal Statesman shattered the shop's doors with his entrance, then grabbed the tailor by his lapels.
"Serge!" barked Statesman. "I need you to make the lower half of my uniform brown...NOW!!"
sleestack wins.
thread over.
JetKnight wins. Hehe. That was the best one yet.
*snickers*
//Jack
The Kickers base.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
-Groucho Marx
Yo momma so ugly, she looked out the window and got sent to the Zig for moonin'!