Writer's Circle #001 - Pending apocalypse
By
Blood_Wolffe,
Posted on: 2009-06-04 11:29 in Roleplaying
My first thought is, make it a big rig. Something that can't be pushed aside and could actually block a lot of lanes if it jack-knifed. Something that Fred's RV couldn't push aside, but he wants to try anyway.
Further, if it was a suspension bridge and the truck was pushed against some cables, stressing them out, the police officer would certainly not want it roughly beaten out of the way, as it could snap some suspension cables and create a much larger danger.
Darn, BW beat me to my bridge idea.
There's no shoulder.
You can't push it off or out of the way.
Being on a bridge adds an element of fear, and uncertainty.
Fred might well have be nervous on the bridge, many drivers are.
And as a side note, people are like sheep, they mostly mill around and go baaaa and watch things happen. That makes it had for the police to get them to do anything without threatening them, at which point many get obstinate.
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You guys are the best! This solves my problem or at least gives me the basis for an alternative conflict. Thanks!
Another option: The blockage happens inside one of the tunnels throughout the city. The obvious strength to this idea is there is -no- place else to push the disabled vehicle to. This works especially well if the vehicle is wedged in between the support columns and has caused another accident in the opposite lanes, blocking them as well.
Really depends on what setting you like better for the scene.
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My first thought is, make it a big rig. Something that can't be pushed aside and could actually block a lot of lanes if it jack-knifed. Something that Fred's RV couldn't push aside, but he wants to try anyway.
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This happened to me IRL. With a car, you think maybe one of the big rigs can nudge it clear of the road and let everyone get back to their travel plans with a minimum of wasted time. With a big rig lying on its side blocking all the lanes and stretching onto both shoulders, there was nothing to do but try and stay warm (happened last December in Ohio) and wait for something huge to come along and drag the wreck away. I'd hate to thing of what might have happened if there was something threatening behind us.
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One of the things I've taken from these suggestions is that my problem is happening because the conflict arises from Fred going all Charles Bronson on everyone and waving a gun around in order to get what he wants.
The main thing I've taken from these suggestions is that it makes more sense for the accident to involve a large truck and a smaller car. The large truck blocks the road but in a way that appears it might be moved. However, moving it is dangerous for some reason. The conflict arises between Fred and the policeman because he's determined to make the attempt while the police officer is concerned for the safety of the drivers around the wreck. The only gun that gets pulled would be the police officer in an attempt to convince Fred to stand down when he's behaving dangerously.
In the end, I may have to drop the police officer out of the story entirely and have the conflict occur between Fred and the driver of the truck. There's still the question of why the officer agrees to let Fred go and I'm on the fence about whether that would actually occur or not.
This also lets Fred be the good guy in the end and offer a ride to the stranded family without them having to trust a maniac who was waving a gun at them ten minutes earlier. *heh*
Well, lots of good food for thought. Sometimes you just need to get a different perspective in order to get divorced from an idea that you had unwittingly married. Ha ha ha!
I like the idea of the conflict being between Fred and the other driver.
And perhaps the family that Fred agrees to give a ride to could be the driver of the vehicle he threatened to shove out of the way.
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I like the idea of the conflict being between Fred and the other driver.
And perhaps the family that Fred agrees to give a ride to could be the driver of the vehicle he threatened to shove out of the way.
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In such an instance, I would think that the Impending Disaster has reared its ugly head, prompting a rapid, panicked exodus...
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Look at that. A full-grown woman pulling off pigtails. Her crazy is off the charts.
A really big vehicle blocking the way might not be such a dangerous thing to try pushing around with an RV. Maybe a semi with a tanker-trailer? Depending on what's inside, it may be anything from risky to virtually fatal to disturb it.
For in-depth writing flavor, you could look up the diamond-markings for hazardous items, the four-part symbol made up of the red, blue, white, and yellow diamonds. For example, seeing a "4" in the red block would be in the "why are you looking at this still, this stuff ignites way below room temperature, run you dummy!" category. The other three categories get even more fun. 
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"would it make ya feel better, little girl, if they was pushed outta windows?" -- Archie Bunker
So, I need some help with a scene. Since I don't have a writer's circle handy to bounce ideas around, I've decided to turn to you, my fellow forumites for advice.
If I seem a bit vague on certain details, it's primarily because the scene in question is tightly focussed on a handful of people and the "big stuff" happening on the periphery is not really relevant except as a catalyst for the drama unfolding on the small stage, so to speak.
<ul type="square">[*] Backdrop - A city is experiencing an event that may or may not be catastrophic. At present, bizarre manifestations are ocurring. Initially, nobody has been harmed, but people are becoming afraid and making for the exits. The streets have become gridlocked as panicked citizens head for the hills.
[*] The Setup - The narrative focus of the scene is on a man named Fred. Fred has had a mostly harmless paranoia all of his life that the country would be invaded at some point by someone, be it Commies, Terrorists, or little green men. Having prepared for the eventuality, when things turn weird he assumes the invasion is imminent, tosses his family into the RV and tries to beat the rush out of town. He is frustrated at the very edge of escape when a collision between the two cars ahead of him renders one vehicle unable to move. He and everyone behind him are blocked literally a stone's throw from reaching the safety of the freeway. A family much like Fred's is left standing on the side of the ride with a disabled vehicle.
A motorcycle policeman arrives, begins dealing with the situation. The kids are watching TV news in the RV and the general threat level in the city rises from weird to threatening. Fred confronts the policeman to find out that they are all blocked until a tow truck can arrive to move the other car, an event that is clearly going to take a long time if it can happen at all. Fred is warned off after letting his anxiety get the best of him and unintentionally making threatening motions at the officer. He returns to his vehicle in time to hear a news report that escalates the threat level to life-threatening and he snaps. He wants his family out of there right now.
[*] The Conflict - Fred pulls a pistol and threatens the policeman and driver of the wrecked car. Someone needs to move the thing or he'll do it himself. The policeman attempts to keep him calm; the car isn't drivable. Fred's going to push it aside with the RV if it comes to that. Tensions escalate, either the policeman pulls his weapon or someone in another stalled car pulls his own weapon and joins the commotion.
[*] The Resolution - When it seems that someone is about to get hurt, a passing hero intervenes. He talks Fred down, confiscates the gun(s) and removes the obstacle, freeing up everyone to move along. Assurances are given that satisfy the policeman to let Fred go for now in light of larger concerns brewing in the city. Fred is allowed a chance at a small bit of redemption when Mrs. Fred makes him stop and take the stranded family along with them. The scene closes as they flee the city and, looking back, see evidence that they may indeed have just escaped an oncoming catastrophe.[/list]
The problem is the section labeled "Conflict", which is a big problem considering that it's where the dramatic focus is.
It seemed sound enough when I originally kicked ideas around. When it came to plotting it out and writing it, though, it fell apart. The whole thing starts to look more and more contrived.
The police officer probably wants that car out of the way as badly as Fred does. He'd probably ask the driver to attempt to move it if it was drivable at all. If it is, there's no conflict. If it's not, then would he REALLY object to Fred wanting to push it aside with his big rig and make space for everyone else to get by? Why aren't there multiple lanes? Why isn't the shoulder wide enough to drive on? If traffic is gridlocked all around, why can't the police officer just commandeer some people from the other stopped vehicles to team up and simply push it off the road?
The dramatic conflict looks more and more nonsensical, yet the climax of the scene depends on it. Removing the policeman entirely leaves the other driver as the source of conflict, which doesn't work well with the redemption theme that closes the scene. I'd really like to keep that.
So, ideas? Comments? I could use some fresh perspectives on this.